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All the Feels: How to Stay Human in the Digital World
A revelatory exploration of how our online lives can enrich human connections rather than destroy them, to help us all stay sane on the internet
While it’s great to go outside and touch grass, the reality is that we spend most of life with our screens, whether for school, work, or socializing. Luckily, a growing body of research shows that the variety of ever-more tailored ways that the internet allows us to connect with people has actually improved our ability to name and communicate our feelings. That, in turn, expands our emotional range and benefits our mental health.
In All the Feels, tech and emotional design researcher Pamela Pavliscak reveals for the first time how being so plugged in shapes our emotions. Surprisingly, studies shows that digital detoxes have little effect on happiness. Instead, how we engage with the internet (rather than how much) profoundly shapes our lives. Even simple habits like sending emojis to our friends to signal nuance, or making a few positive digital connections every day, can meaningfully support emotional well-being. Pavliscak shows readers how we can open our phones and rather than anxiety-spiral, foster all the good feels.
While it’s great to go outside and touch grass, the reality is that we spend most of life with our screens, whether for school, work, or socializing. Luckily, a growing body of research shows that the variety of ever-more tailored ways that the internet allows us to connect with people has actually improved our ability to name and communicate our feelings. That, in turn, expands our emotional range and benefits our mental health.
In All the Feels, tech and emotional design researcher Pamela Pavliscak reveals for the first time how being so plugged in shapes our emotions. Surprisingly, studies shows that digital detoxes have little effect on happiness. Instead, how we engage with the internet (rather than how much) profoundly shapes our lives. Even simple habits like sending emojis to our friends to signal nuance, or making a few positive digital connections every day, can meaningfully support emotional well-being. Pavliscak shows readers how we can open our phones and rather than anxiety-spiral, foster all the good feels.
263 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 9, 2026
About the author
Pamela Pavliscak
9 books23 followersPamela Pavliscak studies how technology makes us feel, whether that's low-key anxious, oddly soothed, or occasionally unhinged. She’s a design researcher who looks at everyday internet experiences like group chats that won’t stop buzzing, apps we open without thinking, and the strange comfort of AI companions that listen a little too well. Her work has appeared in The Los Angeles Times, NPR, Fast Company, Quartz, and Slate, and she’s spoken at SXSW, TEDx, and Web Summit.
Pamela blends psychology, design, and cultural observation to make sense of why being online can feel both intimate and exhausting, and how technology might support emotional well-being instead of constant overwhelm. She has collaborated with organizations including Adobe, Google, IKEA, NBCUniversal, and The New York Public Library, helping teams design technology that doesn’t rely on guilt, urgency, or outrage to keep our attention.
She teaches at Pratt Institute, where she asks future designers to care about emotional impact first. Pamela is also the author of Emotionally Intelligent Design (O’Reilly). Her latest book, All the Feels, explores the emotional side effects of modern technology, and how we can stay human and stay sane without going totally offline. She lives in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, three daughters, two dogs and an ambitious number of open browser tabs, many of which are “important.”
Pamela blends psychology, design, and cultural observation to make sense of why being online can feel both intimate and exhausting, and how technology might support emotional well-being instead of constant overwhelm. She has collaborated with organizations including Adobe, Google, IKEA, NBCUniversal, and The New York Public Library, helping teams design technology that doesn’t rely on guilt, urgency, or outrage to keep our attention.
She teaches at Pratt Institute, where she asks future designers to care about emotional impact first. Pamela is also the author of Emotionally Intelligent Design (O’Reilly). Her latest book, All the Feels, explores the emotional side effects of modern technology, and how we can stay human and stay sane without going totally offline. She lives in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, three daughters, two dogs and an ambitious number of open browser tabs, many of which are “important.”
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
June 14, 2026
Very interesting book, which posits that we can't switch off because of the nature of connectedness and how tech is intertwined with daily life -- and even if we did, a digital detox doesn't have any long term benefit anyway. There were a lot of new concepts for me and it felt like a balanced book for managing our digital lives in a world where we really don't have a choice but to connect with businesses, services and each other through tech.
I found the book accessible and interesting, easy to read and with plenty of a-ha moments. Great for educators, parents and those trying to navigate working relationships in a multi-generational workforce, where communication is tech-mediated.
I received an ARC from Netgalley (thank you!).
I found the book accessible and interesting, easy to read and with plenty of a-ha moments. Great for educators, parents and those trying to navigate working relationships in a multi-generational workforce, where communication is tech-mediated.
I received an ARC from Netgalley (thank you!).
Currently Reading
October 6, 2026಄ currently reading ಄
after seeing a 1-star book after getting this book from my school library really got my hopes down. and i can see why they gave this book a one star.
i'm not done with this book yet (i'm only on page 27) but why are we using italian brainrot as an example of something lighthearted instead of something human-made, something that i would put if i was the author is funny cat videos (but that's so outdated, and this is 2026, not 2015)
after seeing a 1-star book after getting this book from my school library really got my hopes down. and i can see why they gave this book a one star.
i'm not done with this book yet (i'm only on page 27) but why are we using italian brainrot as an example of something lighthearted instead of something human-made, something that i would put if i was the author is funny cat videos (but that's so outdated, and this is 2026, not 2015)
June 16, 2026
This is a fascinating book and very timely given the recent news of a social media ban. It is in the main very hopeful but also realistic about the use of technology and how connected we are with it. The way emotion is expressed online is different but still very much there. The support it can give can be useful and can help people model healthy relationships. I think everyone should read this and think about how they use technology but not whether they should or not. Thanks to NetGalley and Elliott Thompson for the ARC.
August 17, 2026
Good stuff. Read it. You can skim some but, you know, it’s worthy of fairly close attention.
Basically right where we are in public facing discourse with AI as Summer 2026.
A lot of important considerations.
>> I’d highly recommend GenAI skeptics to read this because they might find ways in which AI tools could be useful in their daily life.
Ideal reading for those struggling with how to use AI responsibly in their day to day.
Basically right where we are in public facing discourse with AI as Summer 2026.
A lot of important considerations.
>> I’d highly recommend GenAI skeptics to read this because they might find ways in which AI tools could be useful in their daily life.
Ideal reading for those struggling with how to use AI responsibly in their day to day.
Read
March 15, 2026I like what All the Feels had to offer. Good insight on how we connect (or disconnect) from each other online, how we're adapting to get our emotions across better, and what the future may hold for us.
As someone who is FAR removed from the AI space, I found the chapters about teenagers using AI as a journal or people using AI as therapists to be deeply unsettling, but maybe I'm becoming too old and crotchety for my own good.
I do wonder how this book will hold up over time, as a lot of the lingo and terms are very present to the moment (although the author does provide insight into the memes, lingo, etc that she references throughout).
Overall, a good read!
As someone who is FAR removed from the AI space, I found the chapters about teenagers using AI as a journal or people using AI as therapists to be deeply unsettling, but maybe I'm becoming too old and crotchety for my own good.
I do wonder how this book will hold up over time, as a lot of the lingo and terms are very present to the moment (although the author does provide insight into the memes, lingo, etc that she references throughout).
Overall, a good read!
June 11, 2026
I received a copy of this book from the publisher - and I wish to thank them for their kindness.
I found the idea of this book to be fascinating - how does one manage to remain human when we're being told "computers are taking over everything" and engage in social interactions? So many times I've seen people looking their phones while seated next to each other and rarely engaging with their partner. So many under 25 year olds I know are seemingly glued to their phones - or have notifications on so they know when someone has reached out to them, or liked something, or commented or whatever. So, the idea of this book I found really really interesting. I also liked that the author was coming from a different direction - she has studied human behavior, human emotions, and all that through students, studies, and it seemed like this would be right up my happy little alley.
Unfortunately, as I delved into this book, I found myself commenting over and over again "I don't use the Internet the same as most people - wow." Especially at the beginning of the book, there were a number of memes she mentioned that I was clueless about, along with some of the behaviours people do (no, I don't have a Spotify daily updated list with my partner and cannot think of something more aggravating to either do or listen to) that I wouldn't even think of doing. In her suggestions for Stoic/Romantic users (you have to read the book to understand this part), I found myself thinking "Oh, I'm a hybrid" more times than I wish to count, so while some of the suggestions were interesting, at other times the suggestions felt to alien to me. Where things started to click a bit for me was toward the end ... with the AI discussion. Apparently I do use some of AI in a typical manner (huzzah!) and I could relate to some of the things she mentioned her students doing and the ways to "remain human" when dealing/working with AI. Maybe it's just me - I'm the problem. But, I then found myself wondering "okay, who might I suggest read this book," and I couldn't think of anyone in my circle ... maybe it's because I'm older, not online a lot (though I think I am online too much at times - LOL!), and don't have teenage girls living at home, so I see how they use their phones and comment on the latest TikTok trends/fads.
Again, I found the topic interesting, but - for me - it didn't quite fit how I thought the book would explain things. Maybe for younger people - who use the internet more typically - this would be a better fit. I also do wonder if, over time, some of Ms. Pavliscak's examples will age badly, which is just the nature of online fads.
I found the idea of this book to be fascinating - how does one manage to remain human when we're being told "computers are taking over everything" and engage in social interactions? So many times I've seen people looking their phones while seated next to each other and rarely engaging with their partner. So many under 25 year olds I know are seemingly glued to their phones - or have notifications on so they know when someone has reached out to them, or liked something, or commented or whatever. So, the idea of this book I found really really interesting. I also liked that the author was coming from a different direction - she has studied human behavior, human emotions, and all that through students, studies, and it seemed like this would be right up my happy little alley.
Unfortunately, as I delved into this book, I found myself commenting over and over again "I don't use the Internet the same as most people - wow." Especially at the beginning of the book, there were a number of memes she mentioned that I was clueless about, along with some of the behaviours people do (no, I don't have a Spotify daily updated list with my partner and cannot think of something more aggravating to either do or listen to) that I wouldn't even think of doing. In her suggestions for Stoic/Romantic users (you have to read the book to understand this part), I found myself thinking "Oh, I'm a hybrid" more times than I wish to count, so while some of the suggestions were interesting, at other times the suggestions felt to alien to me. Where things started to click a bit for me was toward the end ... with the AI discussion. Apparently I do use some of AI in a typical manner (huzzah!) and I could relate to some of the things she mentioned her students doing and the ways to "remain human" when dealing/working with AI. Maybe it's just me - I'm the problem. But, I then found myself wondering "okay, who might I suggest read this book," and I couldn't think of anyone in my circle ... maybe it's because I'm older, not online a lot (though I think I am online too much at times - LOL!), and don't have teenage girls living at home, so I see how they use their phones and comment on the latest TikTok trends/fads.
Again, I found the topic interesting, but - for me - it didn't quite fit how I thought the book would explain things. Maybe for younger people - who use the internet more typically - this would be a better fit. I also do wonder if, over time, some of Ms. Pavliscak's examples will age badly, which is just the nature of online fads.
September 24, 2026
What I appreciated most about Pamela Pavliscak’s “All the Feels: How to Stay Human in a Digital World” is that it avoids the tired argument that technology is automatically making us less human. Instead, Pavliscak looks at the ways our digital lives can actually help us understand, express, and share our emotions. I found the distinction between “Stoics,” who use technology to regulate their emotions, and “Romantics,” who use it to explore and amplify them, particularly interesting. There is something reassuring about the book’s central idea that being deeply connected to technology does not necessarily mean becoming disconnected from ourselves or other people. Emojis, memes, playlists, messages, and online communities may look different from older forms of emotional expression, but the feelings behind them are still profoundly human.
I was especially interested in the idea of young people using AI as a space to process their emotions and even rehearse difficult conversations before having them with another person. There is something genuinely valuable about a kid being able to work through what they are feeling, figure out how to put it into words, or prepare for a conversation that scares them. At the same time, this is where I think Pavliscak’s optimism about technology deserves more scrutiny. AI can provide a space for reflection, but it also raises questions about privacy, dependence, manipulation, and what happens when corporations design the technology increasingly involved in our emotional lives. Still, I appreciated the book’s refusal to fall into the easy “technology is ruining us” narrative. This book ultimately asks a much more useful question: how can we use technology to help us process and communicate our very human emotions without allowing the technology to replace the human relationships those emotions should ultimately lead us toward?
I recommend this book.
I was especially interested in the idea of young people using AI as a space to process their emotions and even rehearse difficult conversations before having them with another person. There is something genuinely valuable about a kid being able to work through what they are feeling, figure out how to put it into words, or prepare for a conversation that scares them. At the same time, this is where I think Pavliscak’s optimism about technology deserves more scrutiny. AI can provide a space for reflection, but it also raises questions about privacy, dependence, manipulation, and what happens when corporations design the technology increasingly involved in our emotional lives. Still, I appreciated the book’s refusal to fall into the easy “technology is ruining us” narrative. This book ultimately asks a much more useful question: how can we use technology to help us process and communicate our very human emotions without allowing the technology to replace the human relationships those emotions should ultimately lead us toward?
I recommend this book.
July 9, 2026
If I had to use a few words to describe this book and how it made me feel, I would say: enlightening, poignant, hopeful, and even fun. I felt the need to savor what I was reading as well, so I read this slower than I usually do.
It was an enjoyable read. It was thought-provoking about the digital age we live in, and the differences in how we navigate it, now and in the future. I liked how the author introduced the terms Stoics and Romantics to highlight those differences in how people interact with technology. I tend to be a Stoic when described with a Romantic side that pops up every once in a while.
All The Feels allowed me to consider my own connection in relation to social media/internet use, how I feel using the internet to foster connection, and how I choose to connect (or don’t) with people online. There was a lot of thinking from me while reading this. Mainly, I realized I was not culturally considered chronically online like I thought I was. Because a LOT of the memes, emoticons, and dialect were lost to me without the author informing me of what they meant or what their significance was. It was a lot of fun for me to learn more about digital/online culture, at least a snapshot of it, from a well-researched, professional point of view.
Overall, I had a great time. 4.5 stars/5 stars from me!
Thank you for an informative and excellent read!
It was an enjoyable read. It was thought-provoking about the digital age we live in, and the differences in how we navigate it, now and in the future. I liked how the author introduced the terms Stoics and Romantics to highlight those differences in how people interact with technology. I tend to be a Stoic when described with a Romantic side that pops up every once in a while.
All The Feels allowed me to consider my own connection in relation to social media/internet use, how I feel using the internet to foster connection, and how I choose to connect (or don’t) with people online. There was a lot of thinking from me while reading this. Mainly, I realized I was not culturally considered chronically online like I thought I was. Because a LOT of the memes, emoticons, and dialect were lost to me without the author informing me of what they meant or what their significance was. It was a lot of fun for me to learn more about digital/online culture, at least a snapshot of it, from a well-researched, professional point of view.
Overall, I had a great time. 4.5 stars/5 stars from me!
Thank you for an informative and excellent read!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
We all know the ways in which the internet is making our lives and mental health worse, and that we should be spending more time offline. In this book, Pavliscak looks at the less extolled virtues of the internet, especially how it's allowed us to find greater community, expand our emotional range, and, in some ways, actually benefits our mental health. I particularly enjoyed the "Amplify" chapter, about how online communication has allowed us to define a greater range of common and unique feelings (FOMO, TFW, etc.), the importance of meme culture, and the author's deep interest in emotional well-being. I found this to be quite accessible and fascinating and I highly recommend it to anyone who spends time on the internet.
Thank you to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for the advanced copy!
Thank you to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for the advanced copy!
July 8, 2026
All the Feels is a deep dive into the complex ways technology has reshaped human emotion. Using case study based research, Pavliscak illustrates how our daily interactions with devices, algorithms, and digital spaces directly impact our psychological well being.
I enjoyed that this book wasn’t just imploring the reader to disconnect from technology and use digital detoxes in order to feel happier. Instead the author educates the reader on how tech can influence our moods and behaviours allowing the reader to be more intentional and aware of their tech usage.
The Verdict:
Rating: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Buy/Borrow/Skip- Borrow an insightful guide that moves past the screens are evil rhetoric to offer a blueprint for digital mindfulness.
Read if you like: behavioral psychology, thoughtful tech commentary, and actionable guides to digital mindfulness.
I enjoyed that this book wasn’t just imploring the reader to disconnect from technology and use digital detoxes in order to feel happier. Instead the author educates the reader on how tech can influence our moods and behaviours allowing the reader to be more intentional and aware of their tech usage.
The Verdict:
Rating: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Buy/Borrow/Skip- Borrow an insightful guide that moves past the screens are evil rhetoric to offer a blueprint for digital mindfulness.
Read if you like: behavioral psychology, thoughtful tech commentary, and actionable guides to digital mindfulness.
September 29, 2026
Necessary topic, but so poorly presented. The author presents insights from a variety of people that will be familiar to most people online. There's a somewhat forced description of people as stoics or romantics and guidelines for how to use the internet based on that. There's also some bullet points about how to be online that read like they've been written by ChatGPT. (Which is possible, given the author's sort of naive stance toward AI)
October 7, 2026
Pamela Pavliscak writes about feelings and navigating the digital landscape. The book is fine, I had trouble getting into it because of the dialogue between the people. Some of the neologisms are confusing, but Pavliscak explains them well.
The book was okay. Thanks for reading my review, and see you next time.
The book was okay. Thanks for reading my review, and see you next time.
Read
October 3, 2026well researched and I would recommend this if you need a breath of tech optimism amid all the gloom. But given that gloom, this feels a little disconnected from the zeitgeist and never really takes a beat to address the very real very adverse effects of ai/tech dependency
June 29, 2026
3.5 rounded up
August 19, 2026
This is a great book that shows how we can open our phones and rather than anxiety in spiral as foster all good feels.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Thank you very much to Elliott & Thompson for sending me an advanced copy of All the Feels How Technology Can Change Our Emotional Lives For the Better by Pamela Pavliscak, which is available from the 11th June 2026.
I found this a really interesting read. We are always told of the bad side of technology and this subject seems never to be out of the news. It was refreshing to see how technology can be a positive aspect to our lives. Technology is here to stay and we must learn to adapt and live with it. This was a well written book, rather fact heavy I found it a little difficult to read at first. In many ways it reminded me of an academic textbook but I persevered and enjoyed reading it. Pavliscak uses lots of research, diary entries from a number of subjects to investigate the way technology impacts on our mental health. It was interesting that a study shows that we should not just be unplugging and detoxing and that technology is in fact expanding our emotional range.
I found this a really interesting read. We are always told of the bad side of technology and this subject seems never to be out of the news. It was refreshing to see how technology can be a positive aspect to our lives. Technology is here to stay and we must learn to adapt and live with it. This was a well written book, rather fact heavy I found it a little difficult to read at first. In many ways it reminded me of an academic textbook but I persevered and enjoyed reading it. Pavliscak uses lots of research, diary entries from a number of subjects to investigate the way technology impacts on our mental health. It was interesting that a study shows that we should not just be unplugging and detoxing and that technology is in fact expanding our emotional range.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
All the Feels offers an optimistic perspective on technology and emotional connection, even if I don’t fully agree with all of it. While the book argues that online spaces can support emotional well-being, my experience with social media often feels like the opposite (a constant stream of people telling me what is supposedly wrong with me)...Still, the book raises thoughtful points about how digital life shapes the way we communicate and see ourselves.
I received this book from NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
I received this book from NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
September 5, 2026
wow, this book was a massive letdown. if you care at all about the harmful environmental, political, and cognitive impacts of generative AI use, you will be sorely disappointed in pamela pavliscak's all the feels. this author glazes genAI every chance she gets, and even encourages its use by teenagers and children (!!) for flirtation, venting, banter, and overall companionship. it feels incredibly predatory to market this book to an audience trying to maintain their humanity in an ever-growing digital age & then downplay the exploitative way tech companies design these chatbots to reward emotional dependence, and then use those vulnerabilities to harvest and sell our personal data. chatgpt is not a person. amazon's alexa is not your young child's "first artificial friend". it is not even remotely the same type of anthropomorphizing as giving your houseplants a name or putting googly eyes on a paperclip, like she tries to argue. wow.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
In a sea of books telling us to "unplug" or "delete everything," Pamela Pavliscak’s All the Feels is a breath of fresh air. Instead of the usual tech-pessimism, she offers a nuanced and research-backed look at how our digital lives can actually expand our emotional intelligence—from the subtle nuances of a well-placed GIF to the strange comfort of AI companions.
What I loved most was her rejection of the "digital detox" as a cure-all. Pavliscak uses thousands of diary entries to show that it’s how we engage with technology, not just how much, that shapes our well-being. Her writing is witty and deeply human, making complex ideas about "affective computing" and emotional design feel accessible and even hopeful.
Why 4 stars instead of 5? While the "toolkit" for a healthier digital future is inspiring, some of the more academic research sections felt a bit dense compared to the engaging personal stories. Additionally, while I appreciated the optimism, I would have loved a deeper dive into the ethics of big tech companies that profit from the very "emotional contagion" she describes.
Overall, this is essential reading for anyone trying to stay human in an always-on world. It’s a brilliant field guide for moving past the "moral panic" and learning how to feel well in the digital landscape.
What I loved most was her rejection of the "digital detox" as a cure-all. Pavliscak uses thousands of diary entries to show that it’s how we engage with technology, not just how much, that shapes our well-being. Her writing is witty and deeply human, making complex ideas about "affective computing" and emotional design feel accessible and even hopeful.
Why 4 stars instead of 5? While the "toolkit" for a healthier digital future is inspiring, some of the more academic research sections felt a bit dense compared to the engaging personal stories. Additionally, while I appreciated the optimism, I would have loved a deeper dive into the ethics of big tech companies that profit from the very "emotional contagion" she describes.
Overall, this is essential reading for anyone trying to stay human in an always-on world. It’s a brilliant field guide for moving past the "moral panic" and learning how to feel well in the digital landscape.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews