Маґнолія Паркс. У темряві

Magnolia Parks Universe #5

by Jessa Hastings, Джесса Гастінґс, Ірина Бондарєва (Translator)

П'ята книжка зі всесвіту Маґнолії Паркс

Закохатися можна безліч разів. Та лише одне кохання буде справжнім.

Маґнолія і Бі Джей пройшли крізь зраду, пристрасть і біль. Вони можуть порозумітися без слів, бо створені одне для одного. Але чи достатньо цього, щоб загоїти рани й почати все заново?

Темрява минулого починає стрімко наздоганяти Маґнолію і Бі Джея. Тепер вони змушені нарешті поглянути правді в очі. Полум'я їхнього кохання от-от згасне у цьому вирі старих образ та невимовлених слів.

Genres: Romance, Contemporary Romance, Contemporary, Fiction, Audiobook, New Adult, Found Family

912 pages, Hardcover

First published February 13, 2024

Reviews

[Iqra · Rating 5 out of 5]

If defending bjparks was an art form, I’d be a master at my craft 💋

Someone uninstall me from the magnolia parks universe, I beg. Log me out. Better yet, delete my account so I can reinstall myself and make a brand-new one. I need someone to shift time and space so I can read this series for the first time again 😭

Bjparks are the definition of soulmates. They’re the binary stars of every universe Two gravitationally bound stars that orbit a common center of mass, that centre being their love for each other

Bjparks are tethered to my every thought my every breath my very soul I wanna draw hearts on the moon around their name

Even Jessa tried and failed to separate them. If that doesn’t scream soulmatery then idk what does 💅

The first question I asked myself, moments before I flipped to the first page, was to savour or to devour? My immediate answer was to devour lmao (as it should) but life was hectic so I was forced to savour this book and I’m actually grateful for it bc I got to spend my free time with bjparks for over two weeks, was able to immerse myself so fully into their universe… got to fully process each colourful emotion evoked in me… got to fuse every word of their story with every cell of my being. They’re integrated into my DNA.

Yk how Parks said you cut him, you bleed her? Well if you cut them, you’d bleed me 🤧💔



‼️IMPORTANT:

okay so I’m going to rant a little (see: A LOT) and quite a bit of what I have to say is gna hurt a certain group of ppl (see: anyone who loves J*lian) so if ur the type of person who can’t take the heat on ur fav characters then PLS skip the spoilers mwah ily


!SPOILERS! Ur girl gotta vent 💋
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This is basically a dump of all my thoughts as I was reading <3

The flashback where beej was Bridget’s first kiss had me creasingggg especially when Harley came into the room lmaooo 💀💀
The way I was laffingggg- beej was such a puller omfds (now it also makes sense why bridge had a crush on beej when she was younger 😭)

Beej keeping the secret about arrie and Harley was so annoying argh. The part where he texted Harley and parks was like who did u text and he’s like no one and then she’s like did u cheat⁉️ 😭😭😭😭😭 it hurt sm 💔💔💔

I think Jessa just added that for the plot and then went and made everything about parks yet again. It’s frustrating bc she ofc has her issues but beej had to deal with his trauma alone for so long.
I feel like we didn’t get much talk of his trauma because he’s already processed and sort of healed from it with the help of his therapist (it’s also lazy writing from Jessa Icel)

…

After the limo scene w parks and j*lian:

THE AUDACITY ON THAT BITCH !!! FUCK I’M SO PISSED LIKE FUMES COMING OUT MY EARS & NOSE, BLOOD IS BOILING, REACHING FOR MY TOOLS KINDA PISSED

I’m so off parks after this. Omg the “in another life” bullshit?! DESPICABLE. Her saying beej is the gravity to which she’ll always return cooled me off a bit so I didn’t actually mind them talking for closure but THAT KISS???!?!! TO ME THATS BLATANT CHEATING IDGAFFFF like she has no reason to not slap him for kissing her. Even if she didn’t slap him she could’ve jerked away?? Like wtaf is this. She has no leg to stand on anymore idfc.

Me to both parks and that rat:


The funny thing about this scene that stood out to me was that julian acknowledged they were more than a fling & “loved” each other = they were in a relationship = he also cheated on her. Actually, I’d reckon what Julian did was worse than beej bc he did it on fucking purpose. Like his main purpose was to hurt parks so she’d leave him. This rat willingly, consciously, intentionally cheated on parks in front of her face, to hurt her. Beej had unresolved trauma, what was Julian's half-baked reason? If Julian really wanted her gone or loved her as much as he did, he could've found a way that didn't prey on her vulnerabilities. He left her on the side of the road tyres squealing once so he could've done it again. Just bc he felt sick for doing it doesn't excuse his actions. And I say the same thing for beej, just bc he had trauma doesn't excuse his actions but he paid for them and he actively tried to do better. What did Julian do?? Like where is his character development??? He’s remarkably stagnant and it’s been two books. He’s literally just dead weight atp CUT HIM LOOSE JESSA 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Any Julian stan that holds beej accountable for his actions but doesn’t hold Julian to those same standards, imma judge u I’m sorry. If u hate beej for being an asshole and the like, i don’t have anything against that but if u hate beej solely bc he cheated and turn around saying u love Julian and he can do no wrong- 🤨🤨🤨

I love that magnolia rejected him and he’s feeling agony over it like it’s the only redeemable factor for having his character get a cameo in this book. He deserves worse for parks almost losing her life and consequently costing Bridget’s. I’ll always blame him for what happened to her.



I’m glad she told beej straight away but I’m so annoyed beej didn’t hold her responsible for kissing him. I love him for being so in love with parks but ugh i wanted him to make the BIGGEST fuss over that kiss (I’m petty like that) bc FYM UR NEVER GNA SAY ANYTHING EVEN IF SHE DOES IT AGAIN?! But I love how secure he was in that scene tho it was hot Icel 😝😝😝

Also parks acknowledging even if Jules did love her “it doesn’t matter bc beej” was 💋💋💋💋💋

…

The kiss on the cheek fiasco:

I’m TIRED of parks running away when something goes wrong time and again, she just has not got any fucking better?! It’s been half the book I’m so disappointed.

If she doesn’t learn to communicate and keeps shutting him out then I’m legit gna hate this book I’m not even joking. Like even beej couldn’t stop me from giving this one star.

Like ur in a committed relationship behave like it argh so frustrating to see beej running around after her like he’s in the wrong every time like just TALK

AND THEN JULIAN ACTING PROTECTOR AS IF HE DIDNT DISMISS HER SAFETY WHEN THE LITERAL MAFIA THREATENED HER??? Pathetic. He’s a fucking clown for acting all macho beating his chest when he’s jealous but when she actually needs protection he pulls a Houdini?? bitch GTFOH

I loveddddd beej putting that greasy rat in his place and for sticking him knowing abt that kiss in j*lians face omfds it was so satisfying 💅💅💅 like u were never even a choice 🤡

Julian is just a disgrace overall. He gives literally nothing every chapter.

when beej was like ‘yk who she doesn’t want? YOU 🫵’ I WAS HOWLINGGGGH- HE ATE HIM UPP the satisfaction was astronomical 💅

Side note: I need Jo to hold that greasy rat accountable for the shit he’s done. Like if it doesn’t get acknowledged in the next DH, I will fr go heavy on that review lmao


I just need beej to take a stand for himself or get parks the help she so DESPERATELY needs like she is not alright mentally and it needs attention. I don’t like seeing parks upset or hurting herself and I get that she’s not rlly seen a good representation of a healthy relationship but I’m genuinely gna hate this book if she doesn’t make any progress.

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****At this point I was THIS CLOSE to DNF’ing and giving the book one star 😭😭😭 they did eventually get better but damn they really brought me to the BRINQQQQ****

…

The chapter I just read had everything I just asked for lmaooooo he’s like we NEED a psychologist THANK GOD I’m so glad bc I was tired of parks running away every fucking time. I’m excited for the next half of the book now finally. I was fr reaching my breaking point with them 😮‍💨

Their domestic scenes were EVERYTHING to me. The way they earned that time together. Going thru sm and they finally made their way back to each other 🥹🥹🥹

I love that the second half of the book was them going thru shit TOGETHER not separately which means more to me than anyone understands. It’s the ultimate declaration of love to stick by each other thru all their external obstacles.

THE THERAPY SCENES MAN 😭 they hurt like bullets every time

The representation of grief and how each character dealt with theirs was genuinely so special to me. Seeing parks heal and make a safe space for herself was all the closure I needed.

…

THEIR WEDDING OMFDS ITS SO WHOLESOME I WANNA CRYYYYYYY

MAGNOLIAS VOWS WERE SO PRECIOUS GAH I LOVED THEM THEY FR HEALED SMTH IN ME 😭 knowing that she acknowledged how much work beej put into their relationship and that he was basically the reason they’re together, it was everything I was looking for in this book.

Beej has been so patient and supportive and loving ugh this man has come such a long way I love him sfmmmm for parks

ik I give the impression that I despise magnolia or it might seem like I hate her (she aggravates me sometimes let’s be real) but I’m being genuine when I say that I don’t hate her. I’ve grown to appreciate her journey sfm. She’s so tough. Magnolia has always made me cry just lamenting over how she’s never really had it easy (aside from being able to cry into her 500 quid notes) I hate that she’s been thru some of the worst things in life but I wholeheartedly respect her tenacity, her ability to spring back from those shitty circumstances no matter what it took from her. I don’t necessarily have to agree with every decision she makes to be able to understand and empathise with her.

I know I always rant about how parks has done this, that and the other that pisses me off but overtime I’ve come to see what everyone loves about parks, or at least what made me love her, it wasn’t the fake persona or the bubbly character but the real raw emotional person behind it all. The one that only allows a select few to see that side of her. I realised those were the parts of her that hit me hardest or made me feel all those complex emotions for her. Her fears and flaws are pieces of magnolia I’ve learned to accept as something that was part of her journey. She might frustrate me but all these decisions/mistakes/choices led her to where she is, the person she is now. If she didn’t “love” Tom or J*lian or Rush(I think that’s his name? Whatever ykwim) the way she had, mags wouldn’t have been so confident with the choice that she made — Beej. She saw everything they had to offer and still chose beej. She CHOSE him after everyone. That’s the reason I’m so in love with bjparks. They chose each other time and again, battled the worst weathers apart and together proving they’ve earned their HEA.

Got me all teary eyed (I’m lying I full on ugly sobbed) ugh they’re so perfect for each other. Definition of soulmates.

***

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SPOILERS OVER

I love starting my rants and spilling all my thoughts in these reviews but never really know how to tie them off lmao bc I could talk about this universe and its characters forever…

Getting to close this chapter of Bjparks with teary smiles was smth I was sceptical would ever happen, with them being the way they are let’s be real 😭 — but it did and I couldn’t be more at peace with this ending — that’s a lie bc I’ll never get enough of bjparks but u get what I mean 🤚

Reading the conclusion to Bjparks felt like a wound slowly knitting itself close over an open wound. But while it’s knitting, it gets irritated & itchy so I scratch it to relieve the feeling only to open the wound again. I’m always gna feel the itch to return to them and open those wounds even if it means they’ll leave a scar. At least then I’ll have proof of my love for them, something to look upon and remind myself of what it took to reach this point. (I’m being too poetic — even for my own comfort — ignore me)

The impact Bjparks made on my life is surreal not only bc they destroyed my peace of mind with the first two and a half books of their trilogy but also bc of the amazing friends I made thru their story. We’re trauma bonded fr (Iykyk)

Bjparks and I are tethered. I can no more stop my love for them than I can screech the earths rotation to a halt.

Reading their books is not enough, I want my stars written close to theirs so we can meet across galaxies, I just know on a cellular level that I’d love and cherish them in every universe 💋

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Update 2: I’m doing it.

Update: The review is done but I’m scared of posting it bc it’s gna make a certain group of ppl madddddd 🌚

…

Teary eyes, wobbly smiles and blurry pages… closure at last…

Proper Rtc

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Spending my valentines with bjparks 💅🐝💜

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Update 12/02/24 — after a lot of back and forth I decided to just buy the og cover and complete my mpu collection (the exposure therapy I forced myself thru seemed to help some ☝️💀)

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Update 22/11/23 —

. . . JESSA SAY SIKE RN

I’m literally rocking back and forth consoling myself from this traumatic experience helppp what happened to subtlety and attention to details 😭😭😭

real footage of me when i saw the cover:







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Update 20/11/23 — the spine of the og cover is gna be white 😔

16/9/23 — THE OG EDITION COVER OF THIS BOOK BETTER FUCKING BE LILAC OR IM SUING

Update: help the arc reviews are coming out guys if I see one spoiler imma call a hit on you xx

[Sara Carrolli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Happy release day! I forgot to write my review so here it is!!!

The growth, grief, love, pain, and so much more that is tied up into this last Magnolia & BJ book was done so beautifully and wonderfully

I could read an infinite amount of stories with these two characters, they’ve planted themselves so deeply into my heart, so I’m very sad to be letting them go but also feeling extremely content and happy with where they’ve ended up

What a journey!!!!!!!!! Truly. Jessa has an incredible way with words and dealing with topics in this book (Magnolia especially) being at such an incredibly low point, but also with many other things that you still (!!!) learn about each character. Such incredible growth and development and I’m just beyond in love with their love

I highlighted so much and I wanna share them all but I can’t so here’s one that I loved (of many):

“…And I’ll die on the altar of loving her, happily too. That’s not a waste to me.”

(I also cannot wait for the next DH books MY GOD so much is happening there)

[currently being delulu · Rating 2 out of 5]

I genuinely don’t know how this woman made a romance couple who never actually had a real conversation together for three books and convince ppl on TikTok they belong together …. But goddamn she did it





to add* omg all the comments and likes you guys are too kind 🤍 kiss me 💕

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Edit* nah it’s a sick joke that I got approved for an ARC of this


Hopefully they both die at the end 🙏

[bruna · Rating 3 out of 5]

★ 3.75 stars

“If space and time and history has taught me anything, it’s you are the love a lifetime.”

before we begin, i have to say that this review contains spoilers about the ending of the previous book, Magnolia Parks: The Long Way Home. as for this book, i tried my best to express my opinions without spoiling anything — but if you want to go into Magnolia Parks: Into The Dark completely blind, then don’t read any further.

damn... i’ve never been this conflicted about rating a book before. seriously. it took me three days to decide and i still can’t tell you if i’m 100% sure.

see, this book is not bad, i liked it, but sadly i didn’t love it and i had complaints, which explains why i’m giving it a 3.75 rating. i’ll give more details soon, but first let’s talk about the main characters, Magnolia & BJ.

throughout the series, i had a like/dislike relationship with Magnolia for a variety of reasons. i never truly felt connected to her in a deep level and most of the times i found her character superficial with not a lot of depth. but this book changed that. Magnolia felt way more human and real here, the author gave her more vulnerability, complexity and profoundness and that was something that i enjoyed to see. i was finally able to sympathize with her and i got the chance to see her in a different light. though i gotta say that she’s still infuriating, that didn’t change, but that’s just how she is and, honestly, this time i could understand her personality and her actions more. in this book, Magnolia deals with a lot of tough stuff and i felt like the author portrayed all of her struggles so perfectly — especially her grief. god, it was so incredibly raw and realistic, and also so beautifully written. Jessa did such a great job and her writing never fails to amaze me.

“I’m not going to say something inspiring... Nothing about how now that she’s gone, I’m going to live my best life. I don’t know how to live my best life without her, I don’t know how to do anything without her.”

reading about Magnolia coping with the loss of Bridget and seeing some flashbacks of them shattered my heart into a million little pieces. i lost count of how many times i cried (and just so you know, my eyes are tearing up right now as i write this part of the review). i knew this book would be heartbreaking, but even so... i was definitely not prepared. i don’t think any of you will be, honestly. all i can say is: keep the tissues near. you’ll need them.

not trying to be dramatic or anything, but i used to hate BJ with all my heart and i really couldn’t stand him. he was absolutely insufferable, annoying and immature — quite literally one of the worst male love interests i’ve ever read. two books about this character weren’t capable of making me like him, so i didn’t have high hopes that this one would be able to change my perspective of him. but you know what? he’s better in this book and he’s not the asshole he used to be. yeah, shocking! i honestly never thought i would be saying that. BJ had some real character development here and to say i was surprised would be an understatement. there were times that i found myself asking “who is this man and what did he do to BJ?” because he was different, the opposite of what he used to be in the previous books and it was relief to see him being a less toxic and more mature person. he surprisingly redeemed himself. i liked watching his growth and seeing him finally being the man that Magnolia deserved (took him long enough, but that’s Baxter James Ballentine we are talking about so let’s give him some cred y’all). BJ’s character also gained more humanity and sensitivity given the fact that he was dealing with his own unresolved issues and past traumas.

although i must clarify something: i’m still not his biggest fan. i don’t want to give you the wrong impression. even though i had positive things to say about him for the first time ever, it doesn’t mean that i love him now. i don’t, and in some way, i don’t think i ever will because well... love is a strong word, don’t you think? i’ll just say that i liked him and his character development in this book which is, obviously, more than enough. we should all take that as win.

this might sound obvious, but i was never fond of Magnolia and BJ’s relationship. i didn’t want them to end up together, and frankly, there was so much i didn’t comprehend about them. Jessa always made sure to tell us that they were soulmates in every sense of the word, but i personally never fully understood why. i just... didn’t get it, you know? but this book sort of made me understand a bit. mainly because their relationship was not so messy and filled with toxicness as before (thank god for that) i mean, i’m not saying it was the healthiest, because it wasn’t — i honestly didn’t thought it would be anyways — but the difference is that now they were maturing and making an effort to grow as a couple and as individuals which was something really meaningful. it was not an easy journey by any means, we are all aware that they had a lot of hard work to do, but just the fact that they were trying to heal instead of making childish decisions made a huge difference.

“Took us a minute, took the long way home to get there but we’re here now and I wouldn’t change a fucking thing.”

i still can’t say that i’m a MagnoliaBJ girlie, but i can’t lie that it was kind of satisfying to see their growth.

now, let me explain why i’m not giving this book a higher rating.

➛ first of all, the length of this book was a major issue for me. i’m sorry, but it was unnecessary for this to be over 700 pages long, especially because the story is very character-driven and there wasn’t a lot of relevant stuff happening. listen, i know that this book was supposed to focus more on the characters than the plot itself, i just think that it could be a little shorter and that it wouldn’t make a huge difference if it was.

➛ the first half was interesting and had me hooked, but i got bored at 60% or so because, as i said, there was not much happening and it became really repetitive in some aspects. near the end, i started skimming since i was not that interested anymore.

➛ to be brutally honest, i don’t care thaaat much about Magnolia & BJ. the reason why i was excited to read this book was because i wanted to see Christian & Daisy crumbs, and it was disappointing to discover that they barely appeared — and to make things worse, the author did them so dirty. i was just so angry! JH, i’m begging you, don’t try to ruin my favorite couple. that’s all i ask. please and thank you! the fact that we have to wait a year (or perhaps even more) to find out what exactly happened between them... yeah, kill me now.

➛ in this book we had less content about the Box Set. i can see why, but it was still frustrating. i wish we had more scenes with them.

that aside, i still could enjoy some aspects of this book, so i can’t say it was terrible. i really wish i had loved it, but at least i didn’t hate it and that’s a nice thing. i strongly believe that others — especially MagnoliaBj fans — will enjoy it more than me.

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pre-review:

i’m so scared but HERE WE GO!!

[Sophie Jayne Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no words??? I love this world and these characters so much?? I can't believe that's the end of BJ and Magnolia??? Will be crying for the next for hours xxx

[Marianna Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

“How many loves do you get in a lifetime?”

Wow wow wow. I honestly do not even have the right words to accurately describe what this series as a whole did to me. I’m absolutely not the same person I was before reading these books and I can confidently say Magnolia Parks has cemented itself onto my list of god tier books, aka perfection, my favorite books of all time, books that don’t compare to anything else I’ll ever read and are in a league of their own.

I feel empty, I am a shell of a human. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do with myself now that the series is over (for the time being). The slump is SO real and nothing is going to fill the void. These characters are forever imprinted on my heart and soul and I am now in fact making it my entire personality. I will say though, emotionally I am exhausted, I haven’t cried this much from a series in so long to the point where it’s seeped in to every part of my day…. So mentally a break is probably much needed.

Bj and magnolias conclusion could not have been more perfect. Their love is truly written in the stars and it is a love like have never read before. Their growth in this book was so healing and patched up the shattered pieces of my heart.

We got so much more depth to Magnolias character in this book and learned so much about why she is the way she is. Her healing journey was slow and painful but it made me fall in with her as a character. The best way to describe how I feel about magnolia is exactly how Daisy feels about Magnolia (iykyk). She slowly grew on me and got under my skin and weaseled her way into my heart.

Julian Haites ruined me yet again in this book.

“If it wasn’t him, it would be you,”
“In another life, yeah?” I nod and offer him a weak smile. “I’ll meet you there.”

I was done for after that. My heart doesn’t break because magnolia didn’t pick Julian…. I never shipped Julian and magnolia together because it was always Bj for her, there was no question about that. My heart breaks for Julian Haites… that man deserves to be loved fully and unconditionally. This man literally pushed Bj and Magnolia together while being so painfully in love with her. He ruined himself to keep her safe and it hurts that he ended up alone in the process. Jessa a swear to god if you hurt him more…. Which is entirely plausible and I don’t want to talk about it because it makes me sick. Oh god reading this scene from his POV is going to ruin me.

Now….. the hardest part for me with this book is that I literally could not stop thinking about Christian and Daisy the entire time. Which was expected seeing as I have an unhealthy attachment to them and the great undoing left me in a permanent state of distress for their well-being. They are my favorites and any time they were mentioned I screamed. I HAVE SO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS!!!! It is so clear that Daisy, Christian, Julian, and Jonah are hiding something HUGE and I need the next Daisy Haites book more than I need air to breath. It was obvious that Christian and Daisy breaking up and being with other people was a front and some shady shit is going on….. I mean Christian I love you baby you’re my favorite but you are the WORST liar in the world. Also Daisy and Julian being so mean to Magnolia seemed so forced and I think they’re just trying to keep her safe by pushing her away. And I literally will not sleep at night until I know why and Christian and Daisy are happily married and not in danger. But I know we’ve got a long way to go…..

I genuinely cannot wrap my head around this being over. I love the BJ and magnolia so much and they deserve the world 😭😭 their love is unlike anything I have ever read in my entire life and it will stick with me forever. I really have no idea what I’m going to do with my life now…. Help.

Favorite quotes:

“I love BJ like he’s the sun. Blinding, bright, unbridled, unavoidable. He’s the thing that sustains the galaxy of me. He drives the currents of me, he dictates the climates and the seasons. I feel his warmth on my face, and when he’s gone, it’s colder.”

“He is a star. Not the shooting kind. Not some flash-in-the-pan meteorite that burns up on entry into the atmosphere. And stars, they’re undeniably beautiful, kind of magical. Only come out at the nighttime. Easy enough to ignore. In a sky full of them, a single star can be difficult to tell apart from the others. They don’t affect our day-to-day lives, really. You might see it one night and not the next, and it bears no real consequence other than perhaps the sky is a little less wonderful on that particular evening. A star is a star.”

“A love like ours—you drown in it, fill up your lungs with it, choke on it and cough it up as you lay there dying. There’s a violence to loving someone sometimes.”

“If I die, when I die—it will echo through space and through time, and it’ll brush up against the edge of this universe and press into the next one that I loved you more than anything.”

“You are the force that I have reckoned with and will continue to reckon with every day of my life.”

“That’s twenty-one years of loving you.” I nod. “252 months, 1,095 weeks, 7,665 days, 183,960 hours and 11,037,600 minutes where I have loved you and if that can translate into anything, please let it speak to the depth of my commitment to you, Parks, because it’s yours.”

[Yana · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 ⭐️ the amount of times I cried during this book should be researched

[Shawnaci Schroeder · Rating 5 out of 5]

6/5 ⭐️

- I’ve never read a book that so accurately depicts the human experience. Like truly. There is so much pain in this book. Have you ever read a book that completely changes your views on all the characters before it and makes you want to read the entire series over again? That’s how I felt during this book. As I was reading it, I already wanted to read it over again. This book will give you so much perspective, grace, and love for all the characters throughout every book.
- I’m not usually the biggest fan of long romances, but this could have been 500 pages longer and I still would have ate it up. The pacing of this story is perfect and 700 pages truly went by faster than any book I have ever read. There are SO many good quotes in this book too.
- I feel like there isn’t another book that can compare to this one and I already plan on reading this book again before the year is over!! I hope the next book in the series releases this year because if I have to wait another year I don’t know if I can make it!!!!!

[lulu · Rating 5 out of 5]

magnolia and bj are not for everyone. but they are for me and i just get them. this book gave me everything i needed and more. i lost track of how many tears i’ve cried. this book made me an emotional wreck. but the way the grief was written and the way we saw magnolia navigate through her grief was so raw and honest and i appreciated it so much. this is a long book but i would gladly read several hundred more pages of bjparks fluff. we finally got to see them become more healthy and mature and grow as individuals as well as as a couple. we really took the long way home and i am not mad about it. they went through so much together and nobody will ever make sense for the other but them. they are truly made for each other. twin flames as beej would say. these books and characters will always hold a special place in my heart. their conclusion was perfect. i’ll never forget them. they are my babies forever. i have so much to say but i’ll just leave it at that. 🐝🌳❤️‍🩹

[benedicta · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5⭐️ finally I'm free, let's not do this again 🔪😣😣

were y'all paid to give this series 5 stars? 👀

if the purge ever becomes legal, i'm going to come and find everyone who recommended this series to me and say hi 😈 🔪

as a matter of fact, this series' hype is evidence that booktok is the big scam right up there with pyramid schemes 🙃👍🏽

now where do I ask for a refund on time spent reading about people whose entire life is cheating and defending cheaters? 🥲😒

***

ok, let's get this over with 🙃🙃 even I don't understand my commitment to this series. Closure, maybe?

[lexie]

this book fucked me up the ass with no lube. pardon my french

[Sabrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know that feeling when you have an infinity of words, yet none feel suffice enough to measure up to how something has made you feel? 😭🥹 yeah that’s me. I have a whole review in my notes that needs fixing so I can pleased to look back at it for myself
-
ALEXA play Marjorie & Carry you

Reading while already emotional isn’t probably the best plan but here I go 🥲 please send wellness checks

[Alyssa Nieves · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every star. All the stars. Infinite stars!!!

I can’t even find the right words to describe how much I love this entire series and what it means to me. The way these characters have literally carved themselves into my heart. I will never get over them.

This book was so bittersweet. (More bitter than sweet, but still.) Magnolia throughout this series, but especially in this book, was so painfully relatable. There’s something so incredibly special about reading a character who you see so much of yourself in. Keeping this review spoiler free, but I will say the topics of grief, pain, loss, and healing were done so well. Jessa Hastings writing is truly unlike anything I’ve ever read before.

Even though I’m so sad that this is the last Magnolia and BJ book, I’m so happy with where they ended up. No review that I could write would be enough to truly express how much I love them. They’re everything to me. This series will live rent free in my head forever. 🐝

Some of my favorite quotes:

“What do I have to show for this life? Her. It’s her. Loving her. That’s all I’ve got, and he’s saying I’ve not even fucking done that well. Everyone has markers for their life. Ways they remember certain things and times. Stakes in the ground. She’s mine. My whole life, all dotted with and by things I remember about her. She’s how I frame the world.”

“A love like ours—? Are you joking?” I give her the magic smile. “We’re what the poems are about.”

“You want a metaphor for it? Alright, here goes. I come from a good family, everyone knows that. My parents were great, roof over my head. I never wanted for much, really, and still. She’s the only home I’ve ever been interested in having. Her body is the walls, heart’s the ceiling. I’ll live here forever.”

“The curves of his chest carved into my memory the same way you won’t ever forget your best day. He is my best day.”

“I’ve loved this face all my life. It’s the sun I pray to, and if what we have is a temple, I built it with my bare hands—I nearly died trying to build this fucking thing. Built it til my hands were raw and bloodied. And I’ll die on the altar of loving her, happily too. That’s not a waste to me.”

[Madison Kait · Rating 5 out of 5]

i wasn’t ready … six stars ♡

[jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took us a minute, took the long way home to get there but we're here now and I wouldn't change a fucking thing.

infinite stars


i don’t think ill ever be emotionally stable enough to look through my annotation to write a long review like they deserve. one day i will come back and write a full review bc my babies deserve that.


bjparks you are my everything and even as i write this with tears in my eyes thank you for being a constant reminder of why i love reading. the most real characters ever. this isn’t some bullshit story where everything ends in happiness in bliss, this is the story of two characters written in the stars who are the most self-destructive and awful human beings apart but understand each other like no one else can.


this journey was so incredibly hard to go through even on the outside, these characters are real to me. i feel like i can search them up and they’ll exist.


jessa hastings put blood sweat and tears into this conclusion and although i am so incredibly heartbroken knowing we won’t get more bjparks books, this book delivered in so many ways needed. the healing and the re-build was everything i could ask for.


if anyone ever asks me what’s my favorite book/series the answers going to be the magnolia parks books everytime.

___
omw to steal the manuscript to make sure she doesn’t break my heart for the third time

[shania · Rating 5 out of 5]

❤️‍🩹

[chloé ✿ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25

i’m keeping this review short & sweet because i don’t want to ruin this series for ANYONE. no spoilers here. 🫶🏻

i can’t believe the magnolia/bj side of the story is over??? my brain just can’t comprehend that this series ever has to end.

this book was heavy, but in the best way. i loved watching my favorite characters grow & heal both individually and together.

there were a few things missing that i think could’ve made this 5 stars, but this series will always be dear to me regardless.

jessa hastings, ma’am, please write the next daisy/christian book asap. 🌼

[Emmy Rosam · Rating 5 out of 5]

How many loves do you get in a lifetime? The answer is 2 but if we’re being honest, a whole boxset 😭❤️

[Destiney Bomberry · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 stars because it was more than perfect and 5 stars almost feels like a disservice. This was the most emotionally distraught I have ever been while reading a book by jessa and I am almost at a loss for words about how beautiful this story truly was. Everything you see happen and watch magnolia and bj go through, the ebs and flows of it all, it is sooo vulnerable and raw!!
The love in this?! Like no other.
Jessa in her epic conclusion to magnolia and bj, writes a story so poetic that truly captivates and puts you through it ALL, every emotion!
When I tell you my eyes were filled with tears almost the entire time I read this, I’m not joking and I could have put a tissue company out business with all the tears I shed!! This was over 700 pages and I can confidently say I’d beg jessa to read another 700, I never felt like this was “too long” !!!

READ THIS SERIES

[Brittany ❥ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars. I said what I said.

[giulsxx · Rating 3 out of 5]

➼ 3.5★

"How many loves do you get in a lifetime? That's a question I've wondered before. If you ask The Sun, I've had far too many, and in some ways that's true, I have. But actually, I've only had two great ones."
"One sits here today, holding my grandmother's hand, and the other is dead in a refrigerator on Weymouth Street because I don't know what the fuck to do, and I don't know how to choose it without her.”

Mood of the book:
➸Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers
➸This is me trying by Taylor Swift
➸Bigger than the whole sky by Taylor Swift
➸Die first by Nessa Barrett

If you know me, you know I’m a Magnolia Parks stan first, human second. However—and it breaks my heart saying this— I think I’m not a Magnolia girly anymore, at least not through and through. I still love her, ofc I still love her! but I’ll tell you about this later. Now, why the 3.5 stars? You’d wonder. Well, if you had stabbed me it would’ve hurt less tbh, but… The book was well written as always, Jessa’s writing is always beautiful and it makes you feel things you didn’t know you could feel. That said, I think most of the scenes could’ve been skipped? Like, 700 and more pages and nothing happens…? No drama, no action… idk, I think I was expecting something more. The pace was fast in the beginning and in the end but somewhere in the middle, it was so slow... I arrived at a point I just wanted to get over with it. I’ve already know from the beginning this would be a happy book—romantically speaking ofc—in fact we have a happy ending for Beej and Parks. But can I say I’m not happy? Like, at all???
It just doesn’t feel right yk? I have this feeling in my chest, it left a bitter taste in my mouth bc I’d pictured a different ending for Parks. I’m sorry for all the Beej girlies out there but I don’t have it in myself to like him. In this book tho, I started to tolerate him. He was a good guy. He finally acted like a good partner and helped Magnolia through the hardest time of her life. I appreciate BJ in this book.
But let’s be honest: they didn’t have any chemistry, did they? Some of their convos were very boring and kinda bland? I would’ve liked to read more about the Box Set. I feel like it was too focused on the couple BJParks and idk it was repetitive in some ways? It was so different from the others…
Bridget’s parts broke my heart and I cried so hard I had to take a painkiller for my headache after crying for hours. So prepare tissues and stuff bc you’ll need them in the first chapter already. Grief was narrated beautifully, I think. Grief is always present like a shadow that follows you everywhere, in every corner of the world there’s someone who’s grieving and hurting for a loss, which doesn’t have to be a person. Someone could grieve for anything. And everyone has the right to grieve how they think it’s best for them.

”Grief is funny like that, how it ebbs and flows from you, it's not corked like champagne, a bottle that bursts open, fizzes all out until it's empty. It's more like a kind of weather. A kind of wind. Sometimes it's these horrible gusts that you feel undeni-ably, hurts your ears, makes you close your eyes, chills you right down to your bones, some days it's a pleasant breeze that blows across your face and it's neither sad or bad, it's just some kind of unspeakable tenderness. Some days you feel no breeze…”

I’ll upset a lot of ppl now, but for me it’s Julian and it will always be Julian. I don’t care he’s endgame for parks in another galaxy or universe–I don’t give a flying fuck– bc for me Julian is present tense. I blame Jessa’s writing!! in my defense I must say that. bc I could never like Beej for Parks in a world–universe, galaxy– where Julian Haites exists. It just doesn’t feel right, or fair–to me– to love BJ. I can’t help it. I tried so hard to love him and be happy for him and Parksy but I just can’t. I think this is why I couldn’t love this book as much as I loved the others. maybe bc I had hope yk? You never know– I had this kind of hope Julian could be endgame. But in this one? Oh man. My hope shattered at my feet and before my eyes. What can I say? My heart has broken several times while reading books, and it was always put back together. But now? Ugh, I think my heart could never be healed. I’m still at the restaurant and idk if I’ll ever get out.

“If it wasn’t him, it would be you,” I tell him, for better and for worse. He blows some more air out of his mouth and catches my eye. “In another life, yeah?” I nod and offer him a weak smile. “I’ll meet you there.”

Quotes:
“You’re all here to bury the smartest girl, the sharpest shooter in the whole wide world. But I’m burying my guiding light.”

“I feel that it's important for you to know that even if I didn't love you in the sort of stupid, embarrassing way that I do; if I did, hypothetically, have a choice - I would choose you anyway.”

“I think surprise deaths are the worst. Do you ever think about it? How you love a person who’s made of mostly bone? Because it’s all I think about now. That the thing protecting the heart I would do anything for—that I’d die for—all that’s protecting it is a ribby cage made from collagen, calcium phosphate and calcium carbonate. That’s it. And some muscle.”

“You want a metaphor for it? Alright, here goes. I come from a good family, everyone knows that. My parents were great, roof over my head. I never wanted for much, really, and still. She’s the only home I’ve ever been interested in having. Her body is the walls, heart’s the ceiling. I’ll live here forever.”

“The curves of his chest carved into my memory the same way you won’t ever forget your best day. He is my best day.”

“What do I have to show for this life? Her. It’s her. Loving her. That’s all I’ve got, and he’s saying I’ve not even fucking done that well. Everyone has markers for their life. Ways they remember certain things and times. Stakes in the ground. She’s mine. My whole life, all dotted with and by things I remember about her. She’s how I frame the world.”

feb 22:my copy arrived yesterday and i couldn’t wait, i had to start it asap!!!!!🥲🥲🥲🥲 is this gonna be painful? i bet my ass💔

[manas (NEW YEAR) · Rating 2 out of 5]

➳ these two stars are for bridget & julian ☆

“a love like ours—? are you joking?” i give her the magic smile. “we’re what the poems are about.”

disclaimer : besties… don't hate me. first, this quote is corny, second, it ain’t applicable with the tools present in this book. if you love this book + series, please do not read this. your opinion is equally valid & indispensable. i just like to yap, as we are all aware.

jessa hastings' ability to justify writing five books about two characters who have never uttered one meaningful sentence in their lives, needs to be scrutinized. every single character was erroneous and loud as hell, with zero substance, and a severe lack of a functioning dorsolateral pre frontal cortex. i am all for the lunacy, but there needs to be a balance, which in this case was inadequate. i wanted to be obsessed with bjparks, but reading about broke, dusty, cheater, abusive man children.... that is not my forte. i think i found bj more atrocious in this one, as opposed to the previous iterations of his useless character. this is a talent i thankfully, will never acquire in this lifetime.

➺ magnolia : she is the main character of the magnolia books, along with bj. her character had next to zero development until this novel. she was unfortunately depicted as this jejune and unfledged woman, with a humiliation kink. with her character's portrayal, i think i am just woke for the joke. albeit, i love toxicity and drama in fiction, given with the depiction and portrayal of the one sided abuse... from a man??? i found her lackluster deportment to be a nuisance. she did have the best character arc in this one, but that's all i can say about her. there was potential, but nothing was unfortunately developed there until it was too late.

➺ the cheater : blowjob is extremely flagrant and shameless. i tried to have him as a god tier book boyfriend... but in reality, he is an abusive cheater AND liar with the personality of a potted plant. his comportment, as a 27 year old fully fledged man was so embarrassing. ignominious was needed for this rat. people often say that blowjob was always the man for her + it was always him, as opposed to julian. this is only because of the authors' blatant partiality and bias towards an abusive unfaithful circus clown. they truly had no chemistry with each other. then again, you can't have chemistry with anyone when you are puerile and monotonous individuals with no life goals and aspirations living off of daddy's money, while also spreading your legs for the entirety of london. someone needed to castrate this ninny. arrant tomfoolery, if you ask me.

➺ the writing/plot : i found the writing and the prose to be VERY jarring. this could be an unpopular opinion, nevertheless, i assume my entire contention with this series is. jessa delineating all of their interactions was what i call : blatantly shoving narrative up one's ass. there was not one single thought or notion they had about each other, aside from first person yapping of them both justifying this bullshit obsession. this ended up leaving the story and plot bereft since NOTHING WAS HAPPENING. the amount of rapper references i saw, the over use of them dying, and unable to function without each other??? again, this gave me no sentiment, it made me somnolent. this is a dialogue heavy series, which i usually love. however, these bitches had no thoughts in their head. they are not adults, they read like jokers.

this series is tell all, show NOTHING. i will only continue this series for julian. he is the best character, i don’t wanna hear it.

[♥︎ Heather ⚔ (New House-Hiatus)]

"All alone in my mind, just wandering further and further into the dark that is the absence of her."


Guess what just landed in my library inbox this morning?? I'm feeling kinda slumpy and indecisive 😭

[Paige · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book put me through all the emotions for 720 pages 😩 RTC
- - -

I'm going to need a truck load of tissues for this one 🤧😭 Buddy reading this with my bby Meagan 💖

[Flora (Helia's version) · Rating 1 out of 5]

BJ and Magnolia I hope you two breakup again ( very likely since both are gonna cheat on each other...i give them 3 years max)

[Merel Logemann · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book made me read about my biggest fears and pushed me to read about questions I think about daily, but never dared to answer. made my heart cry and put bandaids on the wounds. don’t want to think about these characters for a while, but probably will…

[Tamara Vranjes · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75/5⭐️

“If I die, when I die—it will echo through space and through time, and it’ll brush up against the edge of this universe and press into the next one that I loved you more than anything.”

I’m was a bit conflicted about how to rate this book. There were many parts that I enjoyed reading, but also just as many parts that were boring or annoyed me.

Spoiler review!!!

The writing:
The writing style was as great as ever. This is definitely the authors greatest strength. I love her poetic writing style and her metaphors are always so beautiful, descriptive and emotional. This time, however, I have to say that she overdid it with the metaphors in some parts of the book. A lot of it was very repetitive and some metaphors were a bit cringe in my opinion.

Book length:
Normally I have nothing against longer books. I even prefer them to shorter books. But here in this case, 700 pages was absolutely not necessary. The first half of the book was fantastic. I loved that we had so many box set moments. But the second half was very repetitive, a bit boring and some parts were unnecessary. The book could have been shorter if you cut out some unnecessary metaphors, some of Magnolias unnecessary inner monologues and a few of the many times when BJ thinks Magnolia is the most perfect girl and person in this universe.

The plot:
There wasn’t that much plot in this book, even though it’s over 700 pages long and it’s even more character focused than the previous ones - which I prefer. The main topics here were grief, mental health and family issues.
It’s mainly about how Magnolia dealt and lived with the loss of her sister. So it was definitely the most emotional book in this series. I loved the the trip they made. I loved the wedding and the wedding vows. I loved Bridget’s wedding speech that BJ wrote🥹 It was the perfect conclusion for Magnolia and BJ.
And I really hope we’ll also get a conclusion like for Christian and Daisy💞

Magnolia & BJ‘s relationship:
I love the development of their relationship. I love how much they love each other. They really belong together. And I’m so glad they’re finally in therapy together. I also think that this relationship only worked because of BJ‘s character growth. He’s the one who always wanted to talk about problems instead of running away like Magnolia. He’s the more mature one. He’s the one who suggested going to therapy.

Bridget & Magnolia:
Magnolia trying to come to terms with Bridget’s death and find a way to live without her really touched my heart and made me cry multiple times😭💔
All the text messages and the conversations with Bridget broke my heart. I love that Bridget still played such an important role this book and also in Magnolia’s and BJ‘s relationship.
She is definitely the reason why they are together now. And she will forever be my favorite character in the Magnolia books😭 she was by far the purest and most mature character in this whole series💔

BJ:
Unpopular opinion:
BJ >>> Magnolia😌
I never thought this book would make me love BJ so much. I wasn’t BJ‘s biggest fan in the first book, but I started to like him in the second one because of his character development. Well, in this book he continued to have great character development. He was so sweet with Magnolia. He was caring, patient, he was always there for her❤️This book proves that NOBODY understands Magnolia like BJ does. Since BJ has been in therapy, he has also gotten so much better at communicating problems. Every time there was a problem or Magnolia had trust issues, he was the one who insisted on sitting down and talking about it, while Magnolia was the one who always ran away and made assumptions without communicating and discussing it first.

Magnolia:
My like/dislike relationship with her continued in this book and my conclusion is that I don’t like her🙃 at the beginning of the book I started to like her, but then she did some things that made me dislike her again.
One thing that really bothered me was when she set up Taura with Tiller. I thought that this was a bit unfair to Daisy, who she’s now friends with.
Then the things she said to Julian:
“If it wasn’t him, it would be you,” I tell him, for better and for worse. He blows some more air out of his mouth and catches my eye. “In another life, yeah?” I nod and offer him a weak smile. “I’ll meet you there.”
Sorry, but this was SO disrespectful towards BJ in my opinion. How can she say something like that to another man? Imagine the whole situation the other way around. If BJ would have said something like that to another woman people would hate him even more than they already do. But with Magnolia it’s ok??? And then there was also the kiss and she did nothing to push Julian away. I was so disgusted with her. In my opinion this was cheating. And I really think BJ deserved better. Julian too. How can she tell him she loved him??? She didn’t even think about him before their meeting…

I still hate that all the mmc‘s were in love with her at some point in the series🙄
Everything seems very over the top when it comes to Magnolia. The author always emphasises how perfect magnolia is, how funny, clever, beautiful. All men are obsessed with her and all women want to be friends with her or be like her. Everything revolves around her. Even in the box set friend group she is the centre of everything. And BJ and Magnolia’s relationship is the only topic in this friend group🙄 it’s just all too much when it comes to her. And I get that it’s the Magnolia Parks series but come on sometimes it’s too much to the point that it gets ridiculous. And the fact that the author has said several times that Magnolia is practically herself makes everything even weirder🙃

Julian:
I love Julian and I think he deserved so much better than Magnolia. I hope we’ll see more of him with Scotty in the next book. And I hope we’ll see him falling in love again with the right person. But I already know that his pining after Magnolia will annoy me so much in the next book🥲
I saw that a lot of people hate Julian because they blame him for Bridget’s death. I think if you blame Julian then you can also blame Magnolia for dating him despite being warned multiple times that Julian is dangerous. Or you can blame BJ for not breaking up with Jordan when he should have.

Taura/Henry/Jonah:
Well I’m not sure what I think about all the new relationships in this book. I actually like Taura and Tiller together, but I absolutely don’t care about Romilly & Henry and Jonah & Bianca. We don’t even really know Romilly and Bianca. They had like only two sentences in this book. So it was a very underwhelming closure for them.

Christian & Daisy:
My babies😭 what happened to them?💔 I wanted more scenes with them, but we barely had any in this book and it made me so mad because we couldn’t get rid of Magnolia in the Daisy books🤨
I don’t believe for one second that Daisy cheated with Romeo. My girl LOVES Christian. She would never do that. My theory is that someone is that Daisy is being threatened by someone. Maybe Christian‘s uncle Callum?! And to protect Christian, she is pretending that she cheated on him with Romeo because she knows that Romeo is Christians biggest insecurity and that’s the only way to keep him away from her. I hope that’s the case because that would be such an interesting story line and I can’t wait for their next book🥰

Character Rating after this book:

1. Daisy: my girl deserves the world❤️
2. Christian: best man in this series🥰
3. Bridget: she was too good for this series💔
4. BJ: never thought he would ever be in my top five but here we are😂
5. Henry: a cutie
6. Tiller: I don’t understand why he gets so much hate😭
7. Julian: love him but omg stop being so pathetic and get over Magnolia😐
8. Taura: I liked her more before all the Henry Jonah drama
9. Jonah: I’m still waiting for him to be a better brother to Christian🙃
10. Magnolia:🙄

Book Ratings:
Magnolia Parks: 3.5/5⭐️
Daisy Haites: 4.5/5⭐️
Magnolia Parks - the long way home: 4/5⭐️
Daisy Haites - the great undoing: 4/5⭐️
Magnolia Parks - into the dark: 3.75/5⭐️

[lauren‎♡₊˚ &#x1f9a2;・₊✧ (semi-ia) · Rating 5 out of 5]

5💫

“If we were born when people were assigning stories to the stars, they would have given us a galaxy.”

(spoilers!)

this is by far the most heartbreaking out of all of the books in this world. watching magnolia attempt to live life after the death of bridget was so hard. she was dealing with not just trying to understand how to live now, but an eating disorder as well. bj was so patient with her and her healing process, which was so nice to read after hundreds and hundreds of pages reading them tear and break each other apart.

i loved this one so much because it was their healing book. their love story is flawed, but this one just fixed it. i loved finally being able to see their love story play out and see how they can be so caring towards each other.

thank goodness for therapy 🙌🏻 (& bridge) watching them both heal together through this process was so perfect to read. after every scene of them together during sessions with claire, you can see them respond to different situations they are faced with in a mature way that shows they have both really grown and have taken their given advice to heart.

i read these books so fast because i was just absolutely obsessed with these characters and this world, but now i have no idea what to do or read since its over:(

again, i love jessa’s metaphors and her writing. these books are so special to me.

i could read about these two forever🤍

“I think death brushes up against nearly everyone at some point or another, but it’s properly danced with me. Grabbed me by the hand, spun me, dipped me . . . taught me to waltz. I knew life through the prism of loss, secretly at first, but now it’s coloured my world.”

“He ducks a little so our eyes are level. “Not a day has gone by since I met you where I’ve not loved you.” I drink in those words like they’re water, let them douse the burning fear that lives inside of me that he’ll hurt me again.”

“Time can be a bit like that, don’t you think? It doesn’t hurt when you’re losing it as much as it does when you see in retrospect how much you lost.”

“How many loves do you get in a lifetime? Fuck. It’s undeniable now, isn’t it—? I’ve had too many. None of them are the same, none have felt the same, and all of them I loved incredibly differently. BJ, I love in an unquestionable way. I love BJ like he’s the sun. Blinding, bright, unbridled, unavoidable. He’s the thing that sustains the galaxy of me. He drives the currents of me, he dictates the climates and the seasons. I feel his warmth on my face, and when he’s gone, it’s colder. He is the centre of everything, and the gravity of me is loyal to him above all.”

“When you think about love, there’s an innate softness attached to it, do you know what I mean? Maybe it’s that whole “love is gentle, love is kind” thing, and it is true. There’s a tenderness to loving someone. It’s Vaseline on the screen of how you see them, rose-coloured everything, picking wildflowers, gentle fingers dragging over cheeks and butterfly kisses. But there is another kind of love. A love like ours—you drown in it, fill up your lungs with it, choke on it and cough it up as you lay there dying. There’s a violence to loving someone sometimes.”

“so if you feel lost some days and you don’t know who you are and you don’t feel like you’re theirs, like ‘Parks’ is just a name you happen to share with them, just remember that I know who you are, and you’re my sister, and that’s my name too.”

“And it’s funny how much this trek feels like the physical embodiment of my last year in a single moment. This confusing, horrible walk in the dark; I’m falling all the time, tripping over everything—BJ’s trying to help me but he’s in the dark too. A sort of floundering that I mostly hate, but that feels distinctively like living, so it’s impossible to hate it all the way through. That’s been this year for me. I’ve hated it, fiercely for the most part—but then, is this not just the human experience? Shoved into this impossibly deep lake of loss and losing, barely keeping your head above it, then drowning in it, choking on it, somehow surviving against all odds and then reemerging a little bit reborn.”

“I’ve loved this face all my life. It’s the sun I pray to, and if what we have is a temple, I built it with my bare hands—I nearly died trying to build this fucking thing. Built it til my hands were raw and bloodied. And I’ll die on the altar of loving her, happily too. That’s not a waste to me.”

“We’re what the poems are about”—give her a little poke in the ribs—“they’ll write TV shows about how much I love you.”

“There’s a new sun in the universe, and it’s hanging off my brother’s arm, walking down an aisle to me. It’s stolen all the light and all the good and all the beauty from everything else around it—if there are even things around it, I don’t know—? I can’t see them. I’m blinded.”

their wedding vows, i cant-😭🤍

“How many loves do you get in a lifetime—” She gives me a quick smile. “That is a question I’ve pondered on for a lot of years now . . . And I’ve come up with varying degrees of the same answer. That there are lots of different kinds of love that life may afford you the chance to experience over the course of one’s life—some terrible, some misguided, some well-meaning, some dangerous, some wonderful but benign, some painful, some—when you lose them—are agony.” She sniffs and swallows. “If you’re lucky, you might get a great one, and I know I’m the luckiest, because I got two.”

“There’s been so much history and space and time that has run through us over the course of our relationship, and I know there’s an air of mystery to us; to how we love each other. I know people often don’t understand it, and I’m sorry for them—” She says with a tiny shrug. “Because getting to love you has been the most wonderfully human thing I’ve ever had the privilege of doing in my life”—that makes me smile and she keeps going—“and I know that people look at us, look at what’s happened between us and with us, and wonder how we are the way we are, and sure—trauma bonds”—she flicks me a look—“but also, mostly, primarily you. We are the way we are because of you. Because you didn’t give up. Because you loved me first and you loved me better and you loved me braver, and”—fuck, she’s going to make me cry—“so I guess what I’m trying to say is, thank you?”

“if space and time and history has taught me anything, it’s you are the love of a lifetime.” She says that very decidedly. “You are the thing that the poets wrote about, you are what the choir of angels is singing about, you are the thing that clouds part above and the sun beams down upon. You’re every butterfly, in every stomach. You’re my every tender thought. “You’re a warm towel when you get out of the shower on a cold night. You’re the tea you hold to your chest when you need a minute to yourself. You’re the feeling you get when you’re inside and safe and dry and it’s dark grey outside and it’s teeming down.”

“Loving you is the thing I grab first when the house is on fire, and the house has been on fire before”—she gives me a look—“and it might even catch on fire again. I really hope not, but if it does—how much I love you will forever and ever be the first thing I reach for.”

““I was six when I fell in love with you, everyone knows that, I bang on about it all the time”—I shrug—“but no one bangs on about the math of it,” I tell her, and her face falters a bit. “That’s twenty-one years of loving you.” I nod. “252 months, 1,095 weeks, 7,665 days, 183,960 hours and 11,037,600 minutes where I have loved you and if that can translate into anything, please let it speak to the depth of my commitment to you, Parks, because it’s yours.”

“If I die, when I die—it will echo through space and through time, and it’ll brush up against the edge of this universe and press into the next one that I loved you more than anything.”

[Jaime Fok · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5
Fineeeeee I’m convinced 😭
This was really the first time I felt the humanity in both Magnolia and BJ, and I absolutely loved it.

Not perfect because the phrase “you’ve lost the plot” was used way too many times in this book lol

[carolina · Rating 5 out of 5]

"How many loves do you get in a lifetime? That's a question I've wondered before ... If you ask The Sun, I've had far too many, and in some ways that's true, I have. But actually, I've only had two great ones."

♾️★

╰┈➤ this is a spoiler-free review, but I just want to say that I do touch on a topic that’s connected to something that happens at the end of The Long Way Home. Although I don’t say exactly what it is, please tread carefully if you haven't read the previous books

Into the dark. I think in many ways this series is a journey into the dark - the darkest parts of humanity. The ugly side, the things we keep buried because they frighten us or embarrass us. But this book, more than the others, ventures deep into the darkness of the mind. It's different, heavier, it's soul-shattering and heart-breaking in a way that the other books weren't. As much as there is love staining every page, there is grief, so much grief, and it lingers until the end. Sometimes it lurks in the shadows, easy to ignore, sometimes it grabs you by the throat and squeezes the air out of you, and you can't breathe. And it hurts, so much so that I lost count of how many times I cried so hard I could barely read.

Everyone moves around me these days like I'm made of glass. Like one wrong look and I'll shatter. Little do they know that it's too late... All of me already is all shattered. A mosaic of cracks and agony.

Grief is a funny thing, although there's nothing funny about it. It comes in waves and you may think you're fine, but then one day, out of nowhere, it comes back in full force and you realise it's never gone. It'll be with you forever, like a phantom pain, and it'll pop up when you least expect it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that grief is not something that just goes away, but once you accept it, you learn to live with it. And for me, this book takes us on this journey of acceptance.

So there is grief and heartache, but there is also love and friendship and beautiful reminders throughout this book of what it means to live. That at the end of all things, nothing else matters but love.

How many loves do you get in a lifetime? Fuck. It's undeniable now, isn't it—? I've had too many. None of them are the same, none have felt the same, and all of them I loved incredibly differently.

Jessa poured her heart and soul into this book and I'm forever grateful for the beautiful ending she gave Parks and Beej. Embarking on this adventure with them has been wild, they've made me angry like no other characters, made me want to rip out my hair and punch walls, but they've shown me that love really is the most powerful force. I've never felt more connected to them and I've never loved them more, which is bittersweet since this is the end of their story. It's going to be so beautiful to revisit their books one day, because now that I have a deep understanding of these characters, it's going to be like reading their story with new eyes.

"A love like ours—? Are you joking?" I give her the magic smile. "We're what the poems are about" —give her a little poke in the ribs— "they'll write TV shows about how much I love you."

Jessa has such a beautiful understanding of humanity. That's what makes this series so raw and real, because as wild and dramatic as it can be, if you look deep enough, it's a realistic portrayal of the messy and dysfunctional side of being human. The characters aren't perfect, and it's just as easy to love them as it is to hate them. But what Jessa does well is show you all sides of their story. You don't have to love them or agree with their actions, but if you finish the book thinking these characters are one-dimensional, horrible people, it means you've failed to understand them. The character development they go through isn't linear, but isn't that what happens in real life?

That's been this year for me. I've hated it, fiercely for the most part—but then, is this not just the human experience? Shoved into this impossibly deep lake of loss and losing, barely keeping your head above it, then drowning in it, choking on it, somehow surviving against all odds and then reemerging a little bit reborn.

I think this book is the one with the best character development in the series, and what I love most about it is that by the end you can clearly see that there's still a lot of room for these characters to grow, which is just a testament to how we're always changing and evolving throughout our lives.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Magnolia Parks

It’s where I live now. All alone in my mind, just wandering further and further into the dark that is the absence of her.

I connected so deeply with Magnolia in this book. I've always loved her, even though she drives me crazy and can be quite silly and naive, but I felt like there was a barrier preventing me from really getting to know her. Magnolia has always cultivated a perfect image, and it's funny that although we feel so close to the characters, because of the way the book is written, it's as if Magnolia has been hiding parts of herself in the previous books. And here we finally get to travel into the darkest depths of her mind and bear witness to her insecurities and fears. And she never felt more human to me, so vulnerable and fragile in a way that touched a deep part of my soul. It all makes sense now, and of course her actions can't all be attributed to trauma, but it's so much easier to understand everything she's done.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ BJ Ballentine

What do I have to show for this life? Her. It's her. Loving her. That's all I've got.

His character development is amazing! He was his best self in this book, and yes, sometimes he made me angry because he kept some things from Magnolia, but I understand why, he just didn't want to burden her and make her feel worse. But I'm glad he wasn't afraid to talk about his traumas, he was very vulnerable. It broke my heart to see him feel so powerless to help Magnolia and make her feel better, but he did the best thing he could have done - he got her into therapy. I'm so proud of him, he's worked so hard and tried his best to become a better person. I'm also happy that Beej finally realised his worth and his outlook on life is so beautiful. I love him so much.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Parks & Beej 🐝

"I feel that it's important you know that even if I didn't love you in the sort of stupid, embarrassing way that I do; if I did, hypothetically, have a choice I would choose you anyway."

They are written in the stars. Every song and poem was written for them and about them. True soulmates, forever intertwined, forever fated to be together. I cried so hard when they exchanged their vows because it honestly felt surreal to see them finally reach that point in their relationship. They were lost at sea for so long, two naufrags barely hanging on to a drifting piece of wood, and it took so long and it was so hard, but they found their way back to each other. They're always going to have issues, and sometimes past mistakes will come back to haunt them, but now, more than ever, I really believe they're ready to face anything. There's a scene where their therapist says, "Are you ready to start building a new relationship?" or something like that, and it was such a pivotal moment. The past is the past, it can't be changed, but it doesn't have to define the future. I'm sad to say goodbye to them, but I'm sure if I look hard enough I'll find them in the stars.

"You are the thing that the poets wrote about, you are what the choir of angels is singing about, you are the thing that clouds part above and the sun beams down upon. You're every butterfly, in every stomach. You're my every tender thought."

I've loved this face all my life. It's the sun I pray to, and if what we have is a temple, I built it with my bare hands—I nearly died trying to build this fucking thing. Built it til my hands were raw and bloodied. And I'll die on the altar of loving her, happily too. ╰┈➤ are you kidding me?!

The found family is my favourite part of the series, so here are some thoughts about the other characters:

: ̗̀➛ Henry Ballentine
My baby Henry, I love him so much and I'm so happy for him. I think he's a wonderful friend and brother and he deserves to be happy. That's all.

: ̗̀➛ Christian&Daisy
My precious babies. There were hardly any crumbs, but I hold on to every single one. At this point I'm convinced that Jessa hates them, because even in a book that isn't theirs, she finds a way to tear them apart. My heart is in pieces, I'm devastated. I'll never know peace until I know they're endgame, and if they're not, I'm going after Jessa Hastings.

: ̗̀➛ Jonah Hemmes
Jonah was so mysterious in this book and it made me so angry because I need to know what is going on. I know Jessa said we'll never get a Jonah book, but I'd love to get some insight into his mind, I feel like it's so hard to get to know him because he's so secretive.

: ̗̀➛ Taura Sax
I didn't expect what happened, but I can't say I'm mad about it. I think it was time for her to get over the absolute insanity of being involved with two people. It was never going to work and it would have just made everyone suffer, so I'm happy for her.
Her friendship with Magnolia is so precious to me, and I adored the scenes where Daisy joined them. They have my heart.

: ̗̀➛ Julian Haites
I know a lot of people hate him, I get it. But I've always had a soft spot for Julian, and no matter how much he fucks up, I love him, I just can't hate him, I've tried, but I can't (although if he's done something to interfere with a certain relationship, which my heart tells me he's done, I'll be the first one in line to kill him). I think he's a very interesting character and there are a lot of layers to him. But I have to say that I hate that he got involved with Magnolia, I hate everything that happened because of it, and I want him to move on.

╰┈➤ All I know is that I need DH3 right now, I'm so confused, I've got an awful feeling in my stomach, something really bad is happening and I need to know what it is! Jessa has to stop doing this to me because I can't take it, it's torture!

"I am the fox and you are the flower, and you have tamed me."

As someone who struggles with the notion of mortality and cannot bear the thought of losing the people I love most, something about this book was incredibly comforting to me. It really reached into the depths of my soul and I'll hold it close to my heart forever.

It took me longer than usual to write this review and process my thoughts, and even though I've written a thesis, I'm sure I could find a million more things to say. But I'll end this by saying that this series will always be special to me, and these characters are rooted in my heart.

How many loves do you get in a lifetime? Well, I don't have a definite answer to this question yet, but this series will forever be one of the greatest loves of my life.

"How many loves do you get in a lifetime" She gives me a quick smile. "That is a question I've pondered on for a lot of years now…And I've come up with varying degrees of the same answer. That there are lots of different kinds of love that life may afford you the chance to experience over the course of one's life — some terrible, some misguided, some well-meaning, some dangerous, some wonderful but benign, some painful, some when you lose them—are agony." She sniffs and swallows. "If you're lucky, you might get a great one, and I know I'm the luckiest, because I got two."

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

This was all I wanted and more. The most perfect conclusion to Magnolia and BJ’s epic love story, even though I’m not ready at all to say goodbye 😭😭

I think it’s sort of romantic to finish this today, its February 14, it’s BJ’s birthday, and this is my fourteenth read of the year ✨