Shoebox

by Sean Paul Bedell

In this gritty and emotional exploration of the human condition, Steve Lewis, a dedicated paramedic, faces the devastating aftermath of a fatal accident that casts a dark shadow over his once-passionate commitment to saving lives. Plagued by guilt and grief, he finds his career, family, and very existence hanging in the balance as he navigates the complexities of trauma both personal and professional. As Steve grapples with the high stakes of his job amidst the scrutiny of a community that admires yet questions him, each life he saves rekindles his passion for his work, reminding him of the profound connections he can forge through compassion and care. A compelling and visceral journey of personal redemption and triumph over adversity, Shoebox explores the human spirit's capacity for healing.

319 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 5, 2025

Reviews

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Steve Lewis does nothing by half measures. A dedicated family man and devoted husband to Annie, Steve is also a paramedic who gives his all to every shift, to every call out, to every accident and medical emergency victim. He prides himself on his abilities as a first responder and the quality of care he provides. Indeed, his commitment to the job is such that, in his mind, his worth as a human being is inextricably linked to his ability to save lives. This is commendable, to a point. But Steve has taken this commitment a step further and has begun to perceive a failure of care as not just a professional failure, but a personal failure, even though his more rational self is perfectly capable of understanding (without necessarily accepting) that people die, unexpectedly and for any number of reasons, many of them beyond anyone’s control. Sean Bedell’s tightly wound second novel, Shoebox, draws on the author’s long career as a first responder, with the result that the drama depicted in these pages is vivid, sincere, and poignantly, achingly human. Steve’s problems begin with money. Because he loathed the work, he quit a secure position as an insurance salesman and trained to become a paramedic, even though it meant leaving behind predictable hours and a salary that met many of the family’s needs. Now, with shift work and money pressures compelling him to volunteer for “extras,” Steve is absent from home for long stretches. With two school-age children and a baby, Annie needs him to pitch in. But working himself into a state of exhaustion means that even when he’s home, he’s hardly present. This provokes tension between the adults, which finds expression in Annie’s snarky comments and Steve’s seething silences. Then the very worst happens, a family tragedy that hits Steve and Annie where it hurts the most. But was it preventable? Grief-stricken, Steve is certain that if he’d only been more attentive, more prepared, less selfish, more willing to sacrifice his own well-being for that of his family, it would never have happened. Seeking redemption, he returns to work. But the pressures continue to mount. Relentless calls from creditors, a looming strike, a fatal traffic collision with Steve at the wheel of the ambulance. The accumulation of grief and guilt sends Steve spiralling into an existential crisis. Shoebox (the title refers explicitly to the tiny, cramped structure in Sheet Harbour where Steve’s paramedic team is stationed, but also seems a fitting metaphor for Steve’s own life) is the story of a man who takes everything upon his shoulders, who never gives himself a break, and who loses sight of what’s most important when his sense of self-worth begins to break down. Steve Lewis is an intense guy, an emotional powder-keg, who can become lost in the moment, whose responses to events are often extreme. Without a doubt our hearts break for him when everything goes off the rails, though the reader can be forgiven for thinking that at times Steve is his own worst enemy. Much like his debut novel, Somewhere There’s Music (which this writer described as a “searing gut-punch”), the emotions we encounter in Sean Bedell’s follow-up come to us raw, unfiltered. All of it is real and deeply felt. It can be hard to take, but Bedell’s artistry draws us in and, much like the proverbial train wreck, we can’t turn away.

[Eva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sean Paul Bedell, a former Nova Scotia paramedic has written a fictional story of the traumas associated with the job—both the emotional/psychological effects as well as the financial ones in Shoebox. Steve is trying to keep payments up on the house and bills, be a good father and husband, and just as important to him is being a good paramedic. So when a few calls go south, the bank turns down a loan request, marital woes, and some colleagues stretch his patience thin, he responds in ways that have his boss worried about him. Add onto that a particularly traumatic series of events and Steve is ready to call it in.

Told in a linear way, introducing the reader to family, colleagues, the community, and the system, Bedell has written a powerful and often gripping tribute to the many out there doing the work, giving of themselves in many ways, and often not being appreciated for their efforts and hardships.

The last bit of this story may very likely be a trigger for many. Check StoryGraph if you wish to know the very graphic warning and suggest only picking up this book if you are in a good place. The depression felt by the main character and the circumstances under which those feelings were exacerbated will, I suspect, be common to many of the potential readers.

Having a son who is currently an emergency medical responder working towards becoming a paramedic and potentially a search and rescue volunteer, and having another son who is a pilot working through his different licenses, already gives me enough stress. I can’t imagine it from the perspective of the people doing these jobs.

Thank you to @river_street_writes and @seanpaulbedell for a copy of Shoebox in exchange for my honest opinions. This book is available now and is published by Now Or Never Publishing.

[Whatithinkaboutthisbook · Rating 3 out of 5]

Shoebox by Sean Paul Bedell

This novel shines a light on the stoicism and “I’m fine” mentality that continues to prevent people from accessing mental health support. It explores both the professional and personal trauma of a paramedic, Steve and his subsequent downward spiral as he refuses to address his PTSD, grief and overall mental health. The novel vividly immerses the reader in the daily realities of a paramedic’s life, realistically examining work place culture with the pressure to do extra shifts, and the subtle, and not so subtle, expectations to work hard, keep your head down, and avoid acknowledging emotions or discussing difficult calls. It strongly highlights the need for cultural change so workers in high stress professions can access supportive services to address work place trauma.

While the workplace place was vividly depicted, I did not feel a strong connection to the MC, Steve which reduced my overall enjoyment of the book. Despite this, it is a great choice for readers interested in the role of paramedic services and the challenges faced in providing emergency services.

[Steve Boyko · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shoebox is told from a first responder’s point of view. Steve Lewis is struggling in many ways - his marriage is shaky, money is tight, and he is plagued with self doubt. I liked the book, but it was hard to like the main character. Without giving spoilers, I didn’t agree with some of his actions and intentions.

That being said, Shoebox is a good and gritty look into the challenges of being a paramedic in a rural area. Bonus points for setting the story in Nova Scotia!

Thank you to River Street Writing for the final draft copy.

[Christiane Scanlan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this book down! It’s gripping from the very first few pages. A gritty glimpse into the paramedic world that is raw and unfiltered. A gut wrenching tale that will leave you with such immense respect for the men and women who wear the six pointed star of life crest. Set in Nova Scotia and highlighting the beautiful eastern shore. Highly recommend!

[Shar · Rating 5 out of 5]

An insightful glimpse into the life of a first responder. We often see paramedics as our rescuers, but this book reminds us that sometimes they’re the ones who need saving. Mental health matters for everyone, and it’s time to break the stigma surrounding it. Creating space for these life-saving conversations is essential.

[Allan Hudson · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exceptional story told by someone who has been there. Bedell takes us behind the scenes of the paramedics doing their jobs. The ups and downs. While the main character has much to deal with, the novel draws you in until the very end. Well done.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book I wanted to quit, but I had to finish, and I mean that in the best possible way. This story is enlightening, intense, and, for me, heart-wrenching. I will see this aspect of the world through clearer eyes now. I definitely recommend reading this book.