A collection of reported stories that explore the relationship between mothers and daughters by the award-winning author of Strangers to Ourselves.
You Won't Get Free of It tells the stories of mothers and daughters searching for each other (and for themselves), of bonds broken and renewed. With uncanny depth of perception, Aviv explores the complexity of this relationship in six essays, five originally published in The New Yorker and reconceived for this intimate, revelatory book. “I wrote some of these stories feeling, existentially, like a daughter, and now I have returned to them with a different identification,” Aviv writes. “It was as if I had failed to see the drama that was on the mother’s side, too—her particular longings and humiliations and needs.”
Aviv renders one mother searching for her vanished daughter; another who sacrifices herself for her daughters by working as a nanny for other people’s children. In the final story, about the writer Alice Munro’s family, a daughter’s abuse is erased by her family, only to be recast by her mother in stories celebrated around the world. You Won't Get Free of It is an astonishing exploration of the competing dynamics of knowing and unknowing, recognition and refusal, that shape this foundational relationship. Illuminating ineffable registers of human experience, Aviv asks piercing questions about how disowned knowledge can form and deform a family and a life.
Rachel Aviv joined The New Yorker as a staff writer in 2013. She has written for the magazine about a range of subjects including medical ethics, criminal justice, education, and homelessness. She was a finalist for the 2018 National Magazine Award for Public Interest for “The Takeover,” a story about elderly people being stripped of their legal rights, and she won the 2015 Scripps Howard Award for “Your Son Is Deceased,” a story on police shootings in Albuquerque. Her writing on mental health was awarded a Rosalynn Carter Fellowship, an Erikson Institute Prize for Excellence in Mental Health Media, and an American Psychoanalytic Association Award for Excellence in Journalism. She has taught courses in narrative medicine at Columbia University Medical Center and the City College of New York. In 2010, she received a Rona Jaffe Foundation Writers’ Award. She was a 2019 national fellow at New America.
Thanks to Netgalley and Knopf for the ebook. Recently the author wrote a devastating, and complicated, portrayal of the Nobel Prize winning author Alice Munro and the sexual abuse of her youngest daughter by her new husband. This is hidden from Alice for years, but when she is finally told about the abuse, she instantly leaves her husband, only to shortly return. The return causes a giant rift between her three daughters. It’s fascinating to see the arguments and wild justifications that evolve over the years, as Alice even writes versions of the story into her celebrated short stories. That New Yorker profile is paired with six others that deal with complicated mother/daughter issues that devastate in their own ways.
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for this arc!
aptly named, You Won’t Get Free Of It is a complex narrative of mothers and daughters. as having not read the stories in their original format, this book surprised me. I did not anticipate it reading as a mini case-study in an array psychological disorders. some stories do not seem as outright mother/daughter relationship, and more hinge on the mental health aspect overall. however, this is a book that will sit with you and make you consider your own mothers motives and feelings.