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The muggle death eater and his daughter
The muggle man was browsing the stacks at Flourish and Blotts when Lucius spotted something that would change the course of history.
The muggle had a Dark Mark.
Surely this man– the father of a mudblood, Lucius reminded himself– hadn't been a Death Eater?
Lucius didn't know how it was possible, but he vowed there and then that he and his family would do everything in their power to protect this man's daughter-- their very lives could depend upon it.
The muggle had a Dark Mark.
Surely this man– the father of a mudblood, Lucius reminded himself– hadn't been a Death Eater?
Lucius didn't know how it was possible, but he vowed there and then that he and his family would do everything in their power to protect this man's daughter-- their very lives could depend upon it.
439 pages, AO3 story
Published January 5, 2025
4 people are currently reading
13 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
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January 24, 2026DNF at 25%.
This was actually a really good read. The writing is incredible and genuinely funny, it just wasn’t the vibe I was looking for at the moment. The first part focuses heavily on Richard (Hermione’s dad with the tattoo) and Linda (her mom), and I realized I didn’t really want to read about them right now. I know they’re important to the plot, so I couldn’t really skip ahead to get to the Dramione parts. I’ll probably revisit this one later when I’m more in the mood for it.
Things that have changed (up to 25%)
*Draco is the one who alerts Hermione about the troll in the girls’ bathroom in year one.
* Tom Riddle’s diary wasn’t given by Lucius. Ginny found it in a thrift shop.
* Hermione never hits Draco during her time-turner journey, because they’re already friends.
*Crookshanks is not part of the story.
* Hermione stays in the Malfoy tent during the Quidditch World Cup.
* Hermione is adopted.
* Cedric doesn’t die. Voldemort is resurrected using Aberforth’s blood, so Harry’s blood isn’t needed. The Tournament still happens, Harry is entered by Moody “to protect him,” and Cedric wins the Cup.
* When Voldemort fully returns and summons the Death Eaters, Lucius goes to fetch Richard. Voldemort doesn’t recognize him but lets him stay after realizing they share someone in common.
* Richard goes back to his house, opens a full James Bond–style room, calls in MI6 support, and that’s where I stopped reading.
This was actually a really good read. The writing is incredible and genuinely funny, it just wasn’t the vibe I was looking for at the moment. The first part focuses heavily on Richard (Hermione’s dad with the tattoo) and Linda (her mom), and I realized I didn’t really want to read about them right now. I know they’re important to the plot, so I couldn’t really skip ahead to get to the Dramione parts. I’ll probably revisit this one later when I’m more in the mood for it.
Things that have changed (up to 25%)
*Draco is the one who alerts Hermione about the troll in the girls’ bathroom in year one.
* Tom Riddle’s diary wasn’t given by Lucius. Ginny found it in a thrift shop.
* Hermione never hits Draco during her time-turner journey, because they’re already friends.
*Crookshanks is not part of the story.
* Hermione stays in the Malfoy tent during the Quidditch World Cup.
* Hermione is adopted.
* Cedric doesn’t die. Voldemort is resurrected using Aberforth’s blood, so Harry’s blood isn’t needed. The Tournament still happens, Harry is entered by Moody “to protect him,” and Cedric wins the Cup.
* When Voldemort fully returns and summons the Death Eaters, Lucius goes to fetch Richard. Voldemort doesn’t recognize him but lets him stay after realizing they share someone in common.
* Richard goes back to his house, opens a full James Bond–style room, calls in MI6 support, and that’s where I stopped reading.
November 24, 2025
Yes I am in my dramione era, sue me.
This fic made me giggle throughout and was just what I needed after a long day!!
Highly recommend it if you’re looking for something light and easy with a great story and a touch of comedy.
This fic made me giggle throughout and was just what I needed after a long day!!
Highly recommend it if you’re looking for something light and easy with a great story and a touch of comedy.
December 4, 2025
two words: mcdonalds straw
January 9, 2026
Hilarious take on Harry Potter canon! One of my favorites.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews