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Writers Who Can't Write: Healing the Pain of Procrastination and Perfectionism
Procrastination and perfectionism are two of the most painful obstacles a writer can face, and both are even more difficult to overcome if the writer is highly sensitive and intuitive. This is because, for many sensitive writers, procrastination and perfectionism are not just bad habits to be conquered, but symptoms of deep emotional wounding from childhood.
Sensitive creative people who were raised by narcissistic parents, or who experienced codependent enmeshment with a parent in childhood, often have trauma around self-expression. Any effort toward creative expression of the self can trigger the nervous system and send the writer into a flight-or-freeze state, which routinely manifests in procrastination behaviors and perfectionistic tendencies.
Lauren Sapala calls this “toxic procrastination” and “severe perfectionism,” and explains how these behaviors and tendencies can insidiously undermine writers, keeping them frustrated for years on end, if they don’t understand the root causes of why they feel so stuck. Writers don’t need to “conquer” toxic procrastination and severe perfectionism to get past it, but instead focus on healing it. Only then can they finally begin to move forward.
Sensitive creative people who were raised by narcissistic parents, or who experienced codependent enmeshment with a parent in childhood, often have trauma around self-expression. Any effort toward creative expression of the self can trigger the nervous system and send the writer into a flight-or-freeze state, which routinely manifests in procrastination behaviors and perfectionistic tendencies.
Lauren Sapala calls this “toxic procrastination” and “severe perfectionism,” and explains how these behaviors and tendencies can insidiously undermine writers, keeping them frustrated for years on end, if they don’t understand the root causes of why they feel so stuck. Writers don’t need to “conquer” toxic procrastination and severe perfectionism to get past it, but instead focus on healing it. Only then can they finally begin to move forward.
213 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 9, 2025
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About the author
Lauren Sapala
14 books377 followersLauren Sapala is a writing coach who specializes in coaching introverted, intuitive writers. She founded the WriteCity writing groups in Seattle and San Francisco and currently blogs about writing and creativity at www.laurensapala.com.
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
November 30, 2025
I LOVED this book! I’ve read most of Lauren’s books now. I can’t remember how I found her – if I was looking for answers about INFJ types or silent writing. I wish I had known about her rule of allowing herself only one of two things – either write or stare at the screen in every session. I ended up using sessions to do anything BUT write! I got things done - like cleaning the shower, but....
The chapter on self-sabotage? I didn't even connect those dots, but oh my.
When she suggested practicing with the messiness of first drafts by going to the store with no list and no plan and then seeing how we feel about picking things, I panicked. But then I came back to it a few hours later, and it sounded kind of fun.
Obviously, we’re all forever works in progress.
I wonder if I’ll sign up for more Silent Writing sessions in January after reading this book. I like thinking that I might - almost like going to the store with no list! Do people actually do this? lol.
Regardless, so many gentle gems in this book. I recommend it to anyone who might be highly sensitive or possibly experienced trauma around self-expression.
Thank you for writing, Miss Lauren!!
The chapter on self-sabotage? I didn't even connect those dots, but oh my.
When she suggested practicing with the messiness of first drafts by going to the store with no list and no plan and then seeing how we feel about picking things, I panicked. But then I came back to it a few hours later, and it sounded kind of fun.
Obviously, we’re all forever works in progress.
I wonder if I’ll sign up for more Silent Writing sessions in January after reading this book. I like thinking that I might - almost like going to the store with no list! Do people actually do this? lol.
Regardless, so many gentle gems in this book. I recommend it to anyone who might be highly sensitive or possibly experienced trauma around self-expression.
Thank you for writing, Miss Lauren!!
Displaying 1 of 1 review