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Until I Die: A Dark Dystopian Romance
In the ruins of a nation, two enemies risk everything for a chance at justice... and each other.
After the Fracture, nothing is safe—not love, not truth, and certainly not women. In the ashes of the fallen United States, the New American Order has seized power, silencing dissent and enslaving the vulnerable. To stop the spread of their evil, Sophia Reeves has given everything to the Defiance, a resistance force battling the NAO, but now, her general has another command: become a contact for an enemy officer-turned-spy. She understands the sacrifice this order requires. Association with a Blood Colonel is a death sentence—especially for a woman.
He's just a name at first. A whisper in the dark. But week by week, Lucas Scott becomes something more—dangerously unreadable, brutally efficient, and far too human for a man embedded in a regime that breaks people like her. Sophia expects cruelty. She prepares for betrayal. What she finds is a man haunted by secrets, driven by grief, and willing to burn the whole world down for a hope he's barely clinging to.
Their alliance is a fragile one, forged in shadow and drenched in danger. But as the Defiance grows closer to victory, their missions become deadlier, and the line between duty and desire blurs. Beneath the shadow of escalating war, Sophia and Lucas must decide what they're willing to sacrifice for a cause that might already be lost—and for a love they were never meant to find.
Hauntingly raw and achingly romantic, UNTIL I DIE is a story of rebellion, redemption, and the unbreakable will to love in a world that has forgotten how.
After the Fracture, nothing is safe—not love, not truth, and certainly not women. In the ashes of the fallen United States, the New American Order has seized power, silencing dissent and enslaving the vulnerable. To stop the spread of their evil, Sophia Reeves has given everything to the Defiance, a resistance force battling the NAO, but now, her general has another command: become a contact for an enemy officer-turned-spy. She understands the sacrifice this order requires. Association with a Blood Colonel is a death sentence—especially for a woman.
He's just a name at first. A whisper in the dark. But week by week, Lucas Scott becomes something more—dangerously unreadable, brutally efficient, and far too human for a man embedded in a regime that breaks people like her. Sophia expects cruelty. She prepares for betrayal. What she finds is a man haunted by secrets, driven by grief, and willing to burn the whole world down for a hope he's barely clinging to.
Their alliance is a fragile one, forged in shadow and drenched in danger. But as the Defiance grows closer to victory, their missions become deadlier, and the line between duty and desire blurs. Beneath the shadow of escalating war, Sophia and Lucas must decide what they're willing to sacrifice for a cause that might already be lost—and for a love they were never meant to find.
Hauntingly raw and achingly romantic, UNTIL I DIE is a story of rebellion, redemption, and the unbreakable will to love in a world that has forgotten how.
517 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 6, 2026
93 people are currently reading
1369 people want to read
About the author
Deidra Duncan
3 books206 followersDeidra Duncan spends her days (and some nights) living the dream as a board-certified OB/GYN, where every minute is either routine monotony or sheer terror. She lives in Florida with two human tornadoes and the wonderful man who helped make them. She’s usually dressed in either scrubs or glitter, and would love for someone to magically combine them. She devotes every rare moment of free time to writing or reading.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 224 reviews
January 6, 2026
“We’d both arrived at this house prepared to relinquish our lives, perhaps even hoping for the end. Instead, we’d found sanctuary.”
this book left me completely speechless.. what a brutal, poignant love story. Sophia is a part of the resistance, where women have little to no agency. Lucas is a blood colonel, a solider on the opposing side of the war. he’s been sneaking Sophia information, which will lead to his death if he’s caught. he specifically asks for Sophia, so when they start up this arrangement she expects the worse from Lucas due to his reputation and rank.
“We existed in a desperate place, a dangerous place, one we likely wouldn’t survive. But Lucas Scott held out his hand, and instead of running, I took it. I gripped tight and let him pull me right to the edge of his knife.”
as they kept meeting though, they become so much more to each other— the only happiness they can find in their world, lies within one another. i loved how layered Lucas’ character was, he would never stop fighting for Sophia, teaching her how to fight for herself and risking everything if he believed it’ll give her a chance to come out of it all alive. Sophia clung so desperately to Lucas, unwilling to give up on him.. even when he gave up on himself. the meaning behind the title was Lucas’ promise to her, i will never shut up about this book.
“Say you love me,” I whispered. “Love is too soft. Im obsessed with you.”
so many aspects of this book can be directly compared to our world now, making this a very hard read at certain points. Sophia goes through a lot, both her and Lucas have lost so much and it makes perfect sense that they’d refuse to sacrifice the one thing that makes life worth living for them. i also loved Adam, and the way her friends were integrated into the latter half of the story. my heart was RACING non stop leading up to the ending, i seriously cannot recommend this book enough for anyone who enjoys a dark, dystopian romance.
“You’ll stay with me?” He found a place beside me, enfolding me in his arms while his fingers traced shapes on my bare skin. “I’ll stay with you, Sophia. Until I die.”
➛ many thanks to NetGalley, the author and Xpresso Book Tours for the arc, all opinions are my own.
this book left me completely speechless.. what a brutal, poignant love story. Sophia is a part of the resistance, where women have little to no agency. Lucas is a blood colonel, a solider on the opposing side of the war. he’s been sneaking Sophia information, which will lead to his death if he’s caught. he specifically asks for Sophia, so when they start up this arrangement she expects the worse from Lucas due to his reputation and rank.
“We existed in a desperate place, a dangerous place, one we likely wouldn’t survive. But Lucas Scott held out his hand, and instead of running, I took it. I gripped tight and let him pull me right to the edge of his knife.”
as they kept meeting though, they become so much more to each other— the only happiness they can find in their world, lies within one another. i loved how layered Lucas’ character was, he would never stop fighting for Sophia, teaching her how to fight for herself and risking everything if he believed it’ll give her a chance to come out of it all alive. Sophia clung so desperately to Lucas, unwilling to give up on him.. even when he gave up on himself. the meaning behind the title was Lucas’ promise to her, i will never shut up about this book.
“Say you love me,” I whispered. “Love is too soft. Im obsessed with you.”
so many aspects of this book can be directly compared to our world now, making this a very hard read at certain points. Sophia goes through a lot, both her and Lucas have lost so much and it makes perfect sense that they’d refuse to sacrifice the one thing that makes life worth living for them. i also loved Adam, and the way her friends were integrated into the latter half of the story. my heart was RACING non stop leading up to the ending, i seriously cannot recommend this book enough for anyone who enjoys a dark, dystopian romance.
“You’ll stay with me?” He found a place beside me, enfolding me in his arms while his fingers traced shapes on my bare skin. “I’ll stay with you, Sophia. Until I die.”
➛ many thanks to NetGalley, the author and Xpresso Book Tours for the arc, all opinions are my own.
January 6, 2026
🎊Happy Publication Day!🎊
Loved this!
I don’t usually read dystopian. I’m more of a happy vibes kinda girl, but as it turns out, a change of scenery was exactly what I needed.
Sophia is a member of the Defiance, a resistance group. Lucas is a “Blood Colonel,” an enemy commander known for his brutality, who, for some reason, offers to provide information to the Defiance in exchange for a woman.
Initially, they don’t even expect to like each other. Sophia doesn’t try to hide her loathing, despite being terrified of Lucas. But as she gets to know him and his motives, she starts seeing the man hiding behind the ruthless killer’s mask.
This story put me through so many emotions! It’s such an intense, addictive experience that I stayed up until 1 a.m. reading it, and now I’m struggling to form coherent thoughts.
I loved the worldbuilding, The Handmaid’s Tale vibes, and the way the lines between right and wrong were blurred. There was violence, grief, and fear, and every character was morally grey.
The love story in the middle of it was so achingly beautiful and powerful that I can’t stop rereading my highlights. The dystopian background made it stand out in a perfect way—the single bright spot in a world of darkness.
My only complaint is that the book is very long. However, since that didn’t stop me from reading the bonus chapters, I’m not sure how bothered I really am.
This book comes out on January 6, and I have it on good authority that it’s not a coincidence. So, read on, people!
TW: on-page violence (including rape), loss of loved ones, grief, near-death experiences, panic attacks
Thanks to the author for the arc, all opinions are my own.
Loved this!
I don’t usually read dystopian. I’m more of a happy vibes kinda girl, but as it turns out, a change of scenery was exactly what I needed.
Sophia is a member of the Defiance, a resistance group. Lucas is a “Blood Colonel,” an enemy commander known for his brutality, who, for some reason, offers to provide information to the Defiance in exchange for a woman.
Initially, they don’t even expect to like each other. Sophia doesn’t try to hide her loathing, despite being terrified of Lucas. But as she gets to know him and his motives, she starts seeing the man hiding behind the ruthless killer’s mask.
This story put me through so many emotions! It’s such an intense, addictive experience that I stayed up until 1 a.m. reading it, and now I’m struggling to form coherent thoughts.
I loved the worldbuilding, The Handmaid’s Tale vibes, and the way the lines between right and wrong were blurred. There was violence, grief, and fear, and every character was morally grey.
The love story in the middle of it was so achingly beautiful and powerful that I can’t stop rereading my highlights. The dystopian background made it stand out in a perfect way—the single bright spot in a world of darkness.
My only complaint is that the book is very long. However, since that didn’t stop me from reading the bonus chapters, I’m not sure how bothered I really am.
This book comes out on January 6, and I have it on good authority that it’s not a coincidence. So, read on, people!
TW: on-page violence (including rape), loss of loved ones, grief, near-death experiences, panic attacks
Thanks to the author for the arc, all opinions are my own.
January 15, 2026
I never write reviews. I love to read, but the book report after? Not so much. However, the sheer AUDACITY of this author to plagiarize SenLinYu's work Alchemised is so astounding that I can't just say nothing and continue about my day. Like, this has to be intellectual property theft at this point.
Sophia Elena Reeves (as in Helena? As in The High Reeve?) is a medic (better known as a Healer) in a dystopian American world where she is on the side of the Defiance (better known as the Resistance) and Lucas Scott is a Blood Colonel (better knows as High Reeve) on the side of the New American Order (better known as The Guilds).
The opening scene in Until I Die (see pages 8-17) is an exact replica of a scene in Part II of Alchemised (see pages 302-307). Sophia sits in the office of General Theodore Harrison (better known as Jan Crowther) with Prime Delegate Nia Williams (better known as Ilva Holdfast). In this meeting they inform Sophia/Helena that Lucas Scott (better known as Kaine Ferron) is willing to spy for the Defiance/Resistance. And that they want her to act as a liaison between them, meeting weekly (as opposed to every 4 days) in a safe house. When asked why a Blood Colonel/High Reeve would turn against his side:
UID pg. 13 "What's in it for him?"..."He said they hurt his sister. I've tried to verify his story, but I can't find her."
Alch. pg. 304 "He said to avenge his mother."
UID continues to basically follow the blueprint of Part II of Alchemised, straying VERY little from the source material.
First meting UID pg. 38 "I'll have your word, please?"..."I placed my hand over my heart...'You have my word.'"
First meeting Alch. pg. 325 "'Swear it, then. I want to hear you say it as a vow.' She didn't let herself pause or think, just pressed a hand over her heart. 'I swear it.'"
At the safehouse UID pgs. 84-85 "'I have something for you.'...He tossed me a plastic square...'A pager?'...'If I need you it'll vibrate.'"
Alch. pg. 329 "'I have something for you.' He reached into his pocked and tossed an object to her...It was a tarnished silver ring...'I'll transmute it to warm briefly if I need to meet.'"
UID pg. 180 "'I hate you.' 'I'm aware.'"
Alch. pg. 431 "'I hate you.' He gave a strained laugh. 'I am aware.'"
UID pg. 287 "'Stay with me.' He kissed my forehead and let long seconds pass in thick silence. Finally he said 'I will. Until I die.'"
Alch. pg. 518 "'Don't die, Kaine'...He gave a bitter laugh. 'All right, then, but only because you asked.'"
UID pg. 284 "'You are mine. If they take you from me, I'll kill them all.'"
Alch. pg. 744 "I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the Eternal Flame. That isn't a threat. It is a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast's. If you die, I will kill every single one of them.”
UID pg. 352 "He'll come for you. He'll always come for you."
Alch. pg. 701 "'You're mine. I'll always come for you.' He always did."
UID pg. 360 "'Sophia.' His lips dropped to my ear, his voice barely a whisper. "Do you know how much I love you? You disappeared, and I never even said the fucking words. I love you.'"
Alch. pg. 888 “I’m sorry—I’m sorry—I’m so sorry for everything I did to you,” he said, his voice hoarse and broken. “I love you. You left, and I’d never told you.”
I could go on. And on. And on. This is not a book inspired by Alchemised. This is blatant plagiarism. Save yourself the time and read the original - Alchemised by SenLinYu - it's lightyears better anyway.
Sophia Elena Reeves (as in Helena? As in The High Reeve?) is a medic (better known as a Healer) in a dystopian American world where she is on the side of the Defiance (better known as the Resistance) and Lucas Scott is a Blood Colonel (better knows as High Reeve) on the side of the New American Order (better known as The Guilds).
The opening scene in Until I Die (see pages 8-17) is an exact replica of a scene in Part II of Alchemised (see pages 302-307). Sophia sits in the office of General Theodore Harrison (better known as Jan Crowther) with Prime Delegate Nia Williams (better known as Ilva Holdfast). In this meeting they inform Sophia/Helena that Lucas Scott (better known as Kaine Ferron) is willing to spy for the Defiance/Resistance. And that they want her to act as a liaison between them, meeting weekly (as opposed to every 4 days) in a safe house. When asked why a Blood Colonel/High Reeve would turn against his side:
UID pg. 13 "What's in it for him?"..."He said they hurt his sister. I've tried to verify his story, but I can't find her."
Alch. pg. 304 "He said to avenge his mother."
UID continues to basically follow the blueprint of Part II of Alchemised, straying VERY little from the source material.
First meting UID pg. 38 "I'll have your word, please?"..."I placed my hand over my heart...'You have my word.'"
First meeting Alch. pg. 325 "'Swear it, then. I want to hear you say it as a vow.' She didn't let herself pause or think, just pressed a hand over her heart. 'I swear it.'"
At the safehouse UID pgs. 84-85 "'I have something for you.'...He tossed me a plastic square...'A pager?'...'If I need you it'll vibrate.'"
Alch. pg. 329 "'I have something for you.' He reached into his pocked and tossed an object to her...It was a tarnished silver ring...'I'll transmute it to warm briefly if I need to meet.'"
UID pg. 180 "'I hate you.' 'I'm aware.'"
Alch. pg. 431 "'I hate you.' He gave a strained laugh. 'I am aware.'"
UID pg. 287 "'Stay with me.' He kissed my forehead and let long seconds pass in thick silence. Finally he said 'I will. Until I die.'"
Alch. pg. 518 "'Don't die, Kaine'...He gave a bitter laugh. 'All right, then, but only because you asked.'"
UID pg. 284 "'You are mine. If they take you from me, I'll kill them all.'"
Alch. pg. 744 "I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the Eternal Flame. That isn't a threat. It is a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast's. If you die, I will kill every single one of them.”
UID pg. 352 "He'll come for you. He'll always come for you."
Alch. pg. 701 "'You're mine. I'll always come for you.' He always did."
UID pg. 360 "'Sophia.' His lips dropped to my ear, his voice barely a whisper. "Do you know how much I love you? You disappeared, and I never even said the fucking words. I love you.'"
Alch. pg. 888 “I’m sorry—I’m sorry—I’m so sorry for everything I did to you,” he said, his voice hoarse and broken. “I love you. You left, and I’d never told you.”
I could go on. And on. And on. This is not a book inspired by Alchemised. This is blatant plagiarism. Save yourself the time and read the original - Alchemised by SenLinYu - it's lightyears better anyway.
January 19, 2026
6 ⭐️ no questions asked
This book broke me... It put me back together by the end, but I think I've cried at least 5 times before that.
Absolute perfection!!!
This book broke me... It put me back together by the end, but I think I've cried at least 5 times before that.
Absolute perfection!!!
January 10, 2026
5⭐️ do yourself a favor and read this book if you love dystopian romance or dark romance (plus it’s a standalone)!!
This book was everything 😭 The dystopian elements are very reflective of what we are currently experiencing today. There was some very dark and heavy moments in this so definitely check trigger warnings.
The romance!! The sheer love between these two characters developed in such an amazing way! Two people on the opposite sides of a war. A medic turned messenger and an enemy officer turned spy, both knowing at any moment one or both could die.
My blood pressure was definitely elevated for the last 40% of this book. I was so beyond stressed for these characters! Just phenomenal and I will be screaming about this book nonstop.
• Dark dystopian romance
• standalone
• Forbidden love
• An mmc who would do anything for the fmc and vice versa
This book was everything 😭 The dystopian elements are very reflective of what we are currently experiencing today. There was some very dark and heavy moments in this so definitely check trigger warnings.
The romance!! The sheer love between these two characters developed in such an amazing way! Two people on the opposite sides of a war. A medic turned messenger and an enemy officer turned spy, both knowing at any moment one or both could die.
My blood pressure was definitely elevated for the last 40% of this book. I was so beyond stressed for these characters! Just phenomenal and I will be screaming about this book nonstop.
• Dark dystopian romance
• standalone
• Forbidden love
• An mmc who would do anything for the fmc and vice versa
November 9, 2025
"Ask me for anything, Sophia. Never be afraid to ask me for anything.” “Even death?” “Even death. I won’t give you that, but you can ask me for anything you want.”
I'm not going to lie. This author had me in the last quarter.
I sobbed. Big, fated, ugly tears.
I loved it.
I finished this a few days ago, and I am a shell of a woman.
It's everything you could want from a dark dystopian romance. Beautifully deep writing, layered, tortured characters, and a world that could easily be our downfall.
I'm not going to lie. This author had me in the last quarter.
I sobbed. Big, fated, ugly tears.
I loved it.
I finished this a few days ago, and I am a shell of a woman.
It's everything you could want from a dark dystopian romance. Beautifully deep writing, layered, tortured characters, and a world that could easily be our downfall.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Until I Die is a heavy, unsettling dystopian romance that definitely isn’t an easy or comfortable read but the romantic arc is what ultimately carried this one for me.
The world is bleak and disturbing, with war, oppression, and violence front and center. At times, it felt almost too real, and the subject matter can be emotionally exhausting. This is very much a story that leans into discomfort, trauma, and moral gray areas, so it won’t be for everyone.
That said, the romance between Sophia and Lucas was genuinely compelling. Their connection develops under impossible circumstances, and I liked the tension, the forced proximity, and the way their relationship slowly unfolds despite everything working against them. The chemistry felt earned, and their bond gave the story an emotional anchor when the plot became overwhelming.
The pacing was a bit uneven for me some sections dragged, while the ending felt more rushed than expected but I appreciated that this is a standalone and that the focus stayed on the characters rather than stretching things out unnecessarily.
Overall, this was a disturbing but thought-provoking read with a strong romantic thread. If you’re in the mood for a dark dystopian story where the romance provides the emotional payoff, this one may be worth picking up, just be prepared for very heavy themes going in. Thanks to the Nerd Fam for the gifted arc.
The world is bleak and disturbing, with war, oppression, and violence front and center. At times, it felt almost too real, and the subject matter can be emotionally exhausting. This is very much a story that leans into discomfort, trauma, and moral gray areas, so it won’t be for everyone.
That said, the romance between Sophia and Lucas was genuinely compelling. Their connection develops under impossible circumstances, and I liked the tension, the forced proximity, and the way their relationship slowly unfolds despite everything working against them. The chemistry felt earned, and their bond gave the story an emotional anchor when the plot became overwhelming.
The pacing was a bit uneven for me some sections dragged, while the ending felt more rushed than expected but I appreciated that this is a standalone and that the focus stayed on the characters rather than stretching things out unnecessarily.
Overall, this was a disturbing but thought-provoking read with a strong romantic thread. If you’re in the mood for a dark dystopian story where the romance provides the emotional payoff, this one may be worth picking up, just be prepared for very heavy themes going in. Thanks to the Nerd Fam for the gifted arc.
December 21, 2025
I remember when Deidra and I first began talking about Until I Die, and I was instantly rapt. The legacy of The Handmaid’s Tale and The Hunger Games clearly reverberates through this story and it feels hauntingly relevant in a world where dystopian fiction no longer feels so fictional.
Deidra’s novel slips deftly into the nooks and cracks these beloved works have exposed: systemic patriarchal rule, the tightening restrictions on reproductive rights, the horror and erasure of resistance under mounting pressure to silence and diminish. Beneath it all runs a current of espionage faceless individuals (but in this novel we meet Sophia and Luke) fighting tooth and nail against a churning system. The echoes of Kit Rocha’s The Beyond series are unmistakable, and the world Deidra builds is just as gritty and emotionally charged.
One thing that struck me deeply as in so many dystopian tales is the way Canada remains a land of hope and freedom. That unwavering portrayal fills me with pride; even in fiction, authors know Canadians wouldn’t falter.
At the heart of Until I Die are Lucas and Sophie, opposed foes bound by necessity, forced to rely on one another to bring down the very system that divides them. They become resistant allies, their relationship layered with tension, trust, and fragile humanity. I couldn’t help but think of Suite Française as I read (a movie that mirrors this story very well) the same slow-building suspense, the quiet intimacy of survival, and the devastating beauty of loyalty in impossible circumstances.
Until I Die story is a reminder of why dystopian fiction matters: because even at its darkest, it shows us how fiercely people can love, fight, and hope.
Thank you so much Deidra for inviting me to read this early. If a book can hold my attention for hours on end it leaves an impact.
Deidra’s novel slips deftly into the nooks and cracks these beloved works have exposed: systemic patriarchal rule, the tightening restrictions on reproductive rights, the horror and erasure of resistance under mounting pressure to silence and diminish. Beneath it all runs a current of espionage faceless individuals (but in this novel we meet Sophia and Luke) fighting tooth and nail against a churning system. The echoes of Kit Rocha’s The Beyond series are unmistakable, and the world Deidra builds is just as gritty and emotionally charged.
One thing that struck me deeply as in so many dystopian tales is the way Canada remains a land of hope and freedom. That unwavering portrayal fills me with pride; even in fiction, authors know Canadians wouldn’t falter.
At the heart of Until I Die are Lucas and Sophie, opposed foes bound by necessity, forced to rely on one another to bring down the very system that divides them. They become resistant allies, their relationship layered with tension, trust, and fragile humanity. I couldn’t help but think of Suite Française as I read (a movie that mirrors this story very well) the same slow-building suspense, the quiet intimacy of survival, and the devastating beauty of loyalty in impossible circumstances.
Until I Die story is a reminder of why dystopian fiction matters: because even at its darkest, it shows us how fiercely people can love, fight, and hope.
Thank you so much Deidra for inviting me to read this early. If a book can hold my attention for hours on end it leaves an impact.
January 7, 2026
4.5 STARS!!
What a way to start the new year! Honestly this ticked all the right boxes for me and I was genuinely excited to get back to this book every time I had to put it down. There are some insane similarities and connections with what is going on in my country and some other well known works of fiction, but it also had many unique elements which kept me hooked.
The relationships, the dialogue, the trauma, and the FEELINGS.... First, how dare you name the MMC Lucas Scott when I was obsessed with OTH growing up. Ok I get it though. I don't want to give away too much, but I do highly recommend reading this if you dig some of these tropes!
- ENEMIES to lovers
- Slow burn
- Touch Her and Die
- Dystopian
- Tragic Love Stories
- Swoonworthy Quotes
Forever grateful to Deidra Duncan for gifting me and eARC for my honest review.. <3
What a way to start the new year! Honestly this ticked all the right boxes for me and I was genuinely excited to get back to this book every time I had to put it down. There are some insane similarities and connections with what is going on in my country and some other well known works of fiction, but it also had many unique elements which kept me hooked.
The relationships, the dialogue, the trauma, and the FEELINGS.... First, how dare you name the MMC Lucas Scott when I was obsessed with OTH growing up. Ok I get it though. I don't want to give away too much, but I do highly recommend reading this if you dig some of these tropes!
- ENEMIES to lovers
- Slow burn
- Touch Her and Die
- Dystopian
- Tragic Love Stories
- Swoonworthy Quotes
Forever grateful to Deidra Duncan for gifting me and eARC for my honest review.. <3
January 8, 2026
This was such an intense story. It felt especially poignant considering the current American political climate. I definitely got “The Handmaid’s Tale” and “Hunger Games” vibes. It’s a modern day civil war Romeo and Juliet style tale.
Looooooved the antihero bad guy! Seriously Lucas has my heart and I don’t care if he kills people! 🔪 🥰
Sophia- sorry girl but I was rooting for you to get smoked. She’s sooo over the top weak and useless. Also seems to stomp her foot A LOT.
Hated Theo and Nia- they are just awful. Just goes to show that no matter who is trying to be in power, they are willing to do some heinous things to get there.
Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and Xpresso Book Tours for a copy!
Looooooved the antihero bad guy! Seriously Lucas has my heart and I don’t care if he kills people! 🔪 🥰
Sophia- sorry girl but I was rooting for you to get smoked. She’s sooo over the top weak and useless. Also seems to stomp her foot A LOT.
Hated Theo and Nia- they are just awful. Just goes to show that no matter who is trying to be in power, they are willing to do some heinous things to get there.
Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and Xpresso Book Tours for a copy!
January 15, 2026
While I really enjoyed the premise and the setup for the story it’s sadly way to similar to Alchemised and it sure tried to have the same emotional depth but it didn’t really hit for me. I think I would have like this a lot better if the characters and romance had a different setup.
January 11, 2026
DNF at 30%
I’m convinced that this book is just a horrible rewrite of both Alchemised and Manacled merged into one. Come on - she couldn’t even change the names?? Reeves? Theo?
The plot was entirely unoriginal and I wasn’t about to sit through 500 pages of a Great Value version of Alchemised. Before you pick this up, do yourself a favor and just re read either Manacled or Alchemised. It would be a much better use of your time.
I will say, if you haven’t read either book then you will enjoy this one. I guess. Lol.
I’m convinced that this book is just a horrible rewrite of both Alchemised and Manacled merged into one. Come on - she couldn’t even change the names?? Reeves? Theo?
The plot was entirely unoriginal and I wasn’t about to sit through 500 pages of a Great Value version of Alchemised. Before you pick this up, do yourself a favor and just re read either Manacled or Alchemised. It would be a much better use of your time.
I will say, if you haven’t read either book then you will enjoy this one. I guess. Lol.
December 29, 2025
Ok.. now that I've had some time to pick up the pieces and try to pull myself back together.. I'm going to attempt to write a cohesive review.
This book blew me away. From the very first page it grabs hold of you and does not let go until the very end. The story is raw, it's gritty, it's exactly what you'd expect from a book set in the middle of a war in a dystopian-era America. *CHECK YOUR TRIGGER WARNINGS PEOPLE*
The storytelling was reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale in the way that we start out in present day, viewing things through our main character's POV, but a lot of the story is told through flashbacks. This helped keep the pacing going at a good speed, in my opinion. Our FMC, Sophia, clearly has PTSD and it's represented in the book.
This book does not romanticize war in any way, it's definitely hard to read at times. The author does a phenomenal job of showing the best and worst of politics and patriotism. In my humble opinion, there were quite a few elements that seemed to (very accurately) point at the current administration as well.
This was a heavy story, with a romantic sub-plot built in. It will scramble your emotions in the best AND worst ways... and it will definitely leave you with plenty to think about.
This book blew me away. From the very first page it grabs hold of you and does not let go until the very end. The story is raw, it's gritty, it's exactly what you'd expect from a book set in the middle of a war in a dystopian-era America. *CHECK YOUR TRIGGER WARNINGS PEOPLE*
The storytelling was reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale in the way that we start out in present day, viewing things through our main character's POV, but a lot of the story is told through flashbacks. This helped keep the pacing going at a good speed, in my opinion. Our FMC, Sophia, clearly has PTSD and it's represented in the book.
This book does not romanticize war in any way, it's definitely hard to read at times. The author does a phenomenal job of showing the best and worst of politics and patriotism. In my humble opinion, there were quite a few elements that seemed to (very accurately) point at the current administration as well.
This was a heavy story, with a romantic sub-plot built in. It will scramble your emotions in the best AND worst ways... and it will definitely leave you with plenty to think about.
January 9, 2026
4.5 ⭐️
Thank you to Deidra Duncan for the opportunity to read this ARC! All opinions are my own.
Dark, tragic, and hauntingly romantic, Until I Die tells the story of the United States under a totalitarian regime. The New American Order has taken over, and women have lost all autonomy. Sophia Reeves, a medic in the Defiance that is fighting against the NAO, is tasked with becoming a contact with one of the deadliest colonels in the NAO - Lucas Scott. As war wages on and their sacrifices grow, can Sophia and Lucas get everything they desire - and survive along the way?
Before reading, I just wanted to put a quick warning! please, please, PLEASE understand that this story is dark and contains violent acts of war and mentions of sexual assault. While this is a romance, the central plot of the book is very dark. If you’ve watched or read The Handmaids Tale, the world is very similar and the story follows a lot of similar themes, so please take that to heart!
What a devastating and timely story. The beginning of this book genuinely unsettled me to the point that I didn’t know if I could keep reading, but it is such and important story to tell in a time where an “ideology” with a very popular acronym threatens to overtake our society (if you catch my drift). The events that led to the Fracture and the takeover by the NAO are things that I could easily see happening in reality, which made the story extremely emotionally impactful.
Lucas and Sophia’s relationship starts off rocky, as (with good reason) Sophia doesn’t trust him at all. Lucas is seen as one of the most cold-hearted killers in the NAO, but as his weekly meeting with Sophia continued, I really enjoyed seeing him open up and being able to understand his motives. He sacrificed so much of himself to the NAO, and it felt like Sophia was a light in his life that helped him slowly piece himself back together.
I also really enjoyed the found family aspects in the Defiance! Sophia’s friends were such great characters, and they took care of each other after years of devastating losses while fighting the NAO. I especially loved Adam! He was so protective over Sophia and always stepped up to help.
My one qualm is that the ending felt super rushed and gave me a little emotional whiplash. But overall the story that Deidra Duncan has created is one that I would absolutely recommend!
Thank you to Deidra Duncan for the opportunity to read this ARC! All opinions are my own.
Dark, tragic, and hauntingly romantic, Until I Die tells the story of the United States under a totalitarian regime. The New American Order has taken over, and women have lost all autonomy. Sophia Reeves, a medic in the Defiance that is fighting against the NAO, is tasked with becoming a contact with one of the deadliest colonels in the NAO - Lucas Scott. As war wages on and their sacrifices grow, can Sophia and Lucas get everything they desire - and survive along the way?
Before reading, I just wanted to put a quick warning! please, please, PLEASE understand that this story is dark and contains violent acts of war and mentions of sexual assault. While this is a romance, the central plot of the book is very dark. If you’ve watched or read The Handmaids Tale, the world is very similar and the story follows a lot of similar themes, so please take that to heart!
What a devastating and timely story. The beginning of this book genuinely unsettled me to the point that I didn’t know if I could keep reading, but it is such and important story to tell in a time where an “ideology” with a very popular acronym threatens to overtake our society (if you catch my drift). The events that led to the Fracture and the takeover by the NAO are things that I could easily see happening in reality, which made the story extremely emotionally impactful.
Lucas and Sophia’s relationship starts off rocky, as (with good reason) Sophia doesn’t trust him at all. Lucas is seen as one of the most cold-hearted killers in the NAO, but as his weekly meeting with Sophia continued, I really enjoyed seeing him open up and being able to understand his motives. He sacrificed so much of himself to the NAO, and it felt like Sophia was a light in his life that helped him slowly piece himself back together.
I also really enjoyed the found family aspects in the Defiance! Sophia’s friends were such great characters, and they took care of each other after years of devastating losses while fighting the NAO. I especially loved Adam! He was so protective over Sophia and always stepped up to help.
My one qualm is that the ending felt super rushed and gave me a little emotional whiplash. But overall the story that Deidra Duncan has created is one that I would absolutely recommend!
December 11, 2025
Thank you to Deidra for letting me read this early!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 I feel like this year has brought some fantastic dystopian stories and this one didn’t disappoint! I was skeptical at first because dang it hits close to home but I really enjoyed Sophia and Lucas’s story. Sophia was apart of the ‘defiance’ trying to fight the NAO who had aggressively taken over. It was dark, heavy and had my heart racing for her. She is placed in a position that could help or get her killed. Lucas who is apart of the NAO as a ‘blood colonel’ decided to flip and helped the defiance. It was full of twists and turns. Lucas was so protective of Sophia and I loved how they helped each other through their struggles they faced.
The black and white this story starts out at was heavy and then as time went on the gray that started to appear shows that there is good on either side it just takes time to really listen to find it. It was handled really well! If you enjoy Handmaids tail, dystopian, enemies to lovers, and forced proximity then I highly recommend this one! Definitely check your triggers and this one is 🌶️🌶️.5 for spice level.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 I feel like this year has brought some fantastic dystopian stories and this one didn’t disappoint! I was skeptical at first because dang it hits close to home but I really enjoyed Sophia and Lucas’s story. Sophia was apart of the ‘defiance’ trying to fight the NAO who had aggressively taken over. It was dark, heavy and had my heart racing for her. She is placed in a position that could help or get her killed. Lucas who is apart of the NAO as a ‘blood colonel’ decided to flip and helped the defiance. It was full of twists and turns. Lucas was so protective of Sophia and I loved how they helped each other through their struggles they faced.
The black and white this story starts out at was heavy and then as time went on the gray that started to appear shows that there is good on either side it just takes time to really listen to find it. It was handled really well! If you enjoy Handmaids tail, dystopian, enemies to lovers, and forced proximity then I highly recommend this one! Definitely check your triggers and this one is 🌶️🌶️.5 for spice level.
January 6, 2026
5 STARS. 100 STARS. INFINITY STARS!!!!! Oh my god, this book. I read it in less than 24 hours. The dystopian setting was SCARY REALISTIC, which worried me at first, but the story was so well-written. The desperate, flawed, grieving FMC? Perfection. The morally grey, would-burn-the-world-for-her MMC? Obsessed. Some parts of the story were hard to read, but worth it. I am recommending it to all my friends, and am already planning a re-read.
December 4, 2025
✨Dystopian dark romance
✨Slow burn
✨Forced proximity
✨Enemies to star-crossed lovers
✨🌶️🌶️
I don't think I even have words for how incredible this book is. Such a stark and poignant reminder of what could absolutely happen if we continue the way we are as a country. The story of Lucas & Sophia was so beautiful & heartbreaking. People who have lost everything coming together to create a better world & finding their soulmate along the way. Deidra Duncan is such an incredible author. She wrote TWO of my favorite books this year, each one so vastly different and beautiful in their own way. I am so blown away and cannot recommend this book enough. PLEASE read it when it comes out in January, it is like nothing else I've ever read.
I cannot thank Deidra Duncan enough for letting me be a part of the street team for this incredible story. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity 💕
✨Slow burn
✨Forced proximity
✨Enemies to star-crossed lovers
✨🌶️🌶️
I don't think I even have words for how incredible this book is. Such a stark and poignant reminder of what could absolutely happen if we continue the way we are as a country. The story of Lucas & Sophia was so beautiful & heartbreaking. People who have lost everything coming together to create a better world & finding their soulmate along the way. Deidra Duncan is such an incredible author. She wrote TWO of my favorite books this year, each one so vastly different and beautiful in their own way. I am so blown away and cannot recommend this book enough. PLEASE read it when it comes out in January, it is like nothing else I've ever read.
I cannot thank Deidra Duncan enough for letting me be a part of the street team for this incredible story. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity 💕
January 3, 2026
My heart is still racing. My heart is still healing. This book is not for those seeking something cozy. This book is prophetic of a future that could happen if the world continues on its current path. It is dystopian, but a future so close, and that’s why this book is painful. You can’t avoid the reality that this world is possible. Women are owned by men, “true Americans” want the country to be an ideal they imagine, and due process is no longer a thing. The story cannot be more forbidden romance themed with Sophia our FMC working for the resistance and sent to be a contact with a turncoat who works for the evil new US Government. Lucas is a “Blood Colonel” and he is called that because he leads the executions that air on TV. He wants it all to end and he uses Sophia as a messenger to send secrets. His sins are not diminished and we see that war is truly hell. They meet weekly and they grow closer and it just feels like a love that will not succeed. I had to message the author begging her for a happy ending and she told me to “hold on!” So much bad happens. The trauma is horrifying and realistic. I’m grateful to the author for not falling for predictable plot moves and I’m mad at her for traumatizing me so much. (Not really) I loved how this story had quotes at the beginning of each chapter that were perfect and had me on edge for what was to come. I have so many parts highlighted and this book may haunt me for a while. “Until I die” is an important line in this book and I am obsessed with it. Please make sure to read the trigger warnings. This book has a lot of them. It was a necessary evil to show a world that is here and soon to be. Reading is political and I hope that people who read this see the truth in it. I highly recommend this book only for adults who are looking for a dystopian story inspired by “The Handmaid’s Tale.”
January 6, 2026
I Received Until I Die in return for an honest review from the author
First off it's been a long time since I've read a dystopian novel much less one that pulled at my heartstrings as much as this one did. I adore Sophia because in her position I wouldn't have survived much less as long as she has in war torn world. Lucas was perfect he was everything I wanted as a enemy officer who's changed alliances. They find what they needed in each other as they are stuck in a world of war.
I devoured this one in just one day it was impossible to put down I was drawn into Sophia's and Lucas story right from the start. I forgot how much I love a dark gritty dystopian novel because this one reignited my love for them and I might be a tad obsessed with Until I die. The characters are easy to connect with and the story is stunningly done.
This is my first book by the author but I'm addicted and need more. The author has done a beautiful job creating a captivating story that keeps the reader hooked till the very tend. I'm living the book hangover life after this one. It's a dark emotional romance that stole a place in my heart. This book had me in all the feels and even made me cry but totally worth it. I loved it and it's a book I had no idea I needed.
First off it's been a long time since I've read a dystopian novel much less one that pulled at my heartstrings as much as this one did. I adore Sophia because in her position I wouldn't have survived much less as long as she has in war torn world. Lucas was perfect he was everything I wanted as a enemy officer who's changed alliances. They find what they needed in each other as they are stuck in a world of war.
I devoured this one in just one day it was impossible to put down I was drawn into Sophia's and Lucas story right from the start. I forgot how much I love a dark gritty dystopian novel because this one reignited my love for them and I might be a tad obsessed with Until I die. The characters are easy to connect with and the story is stunningly done.
This is my first book by the author but I'm addicted and need more. The author has done a beautiful job creating a captivating story that keeps the reader hooked till the very tend. I'm living the book hangover life after this one. It's a dark emotional romance that stole a place in my heart. This book had me in all the feels and even made me cry but totally worth it. I loved it and it's a book I had no idea I needed.
January 3, 2026
Dystopian dark romance…sign me up now!
Deidra, I can’t thank you enough for writing this book! This was simply perfect in my eyes, the way this book touches on pretty much what are political climate is moving towards really made this book feel even more emotional and raw.
I was hooked from the first chapter and just so absorbed into this story, it really is a roller coaster of a book, it shows both sides being corrupt and makes sure you understand just how hard Sophia and Lucas struggled before finding each other but the love they find is just so heart wrenchingly beautiful.
Lots of mental health struggles and PTSD flashbacks, war is brutal and Deidra did not sugarcoat any of it. I definitely had to put the book down a couple of times and just decompress. That being said this was such an amazing book, so well done! I will be recommending this to everyone!
Ps. Maybe not so ironic the date this book is going to be published?
Thank you NetGalley and Deidra Duncan for the amazing eARC!
Deidra, I can’t thank you enough for writing this book! This was simply perfect in my eyes, the way this book touches on pretty much what are political climate is moving towards really made this book feel even more emotional and raw.
I was hooked from the first chapter and just so absorbed into this story, it really is a roller coaster of a book, it shows both sides being corrupt and makes sure you understand just how hard Sophia and Lucas struggled before finding each other but the love they find is just so heart wrenchingly beautiful.
Lots of mental health struggles and PTSD flashbacks, war is brutal and Deidra did not sugarcoat any of it. I definitely had to put the book down a couple of times and just decompress. That being said this was such an amazing book, so well done! I will be recommending this to everyone!
Ps. Maybe not so ironic the date this book is going to be published?
Thank you NetGalley and Deidra Duncan for the amazing eARC!
December 17, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨(4.5/5) Until I die by Deidra Duncan
When Deidra reached out asking if I wanted to read her new darker romance, akin to The Handmaids Tale and The Hunger Games I was immediately sold!
Until I Die delivered everything I didn’t know I needed and more. It was disturbing, scarily reminiscent of the current state of American politics, and truly kept me so captivated. It very much gave me The Handmaids Tale x Alchemised vibes. And I truly believe will deserve all the hype it gets when it releases!
Everything about this book was phenomenal, from the setting, plot, action, and characters. It pulls you in, and eats got alive. Seriously, I’m not sure if I’ll heal from this one for a while.
Side note: the second the title makes sense, I truly broke a little inside, just FYI.
Highly recommend reading this one ASAP and preordering it now!
When Deidra reached out asking if I wanted to read her new darker romance, akin to The Handmaids Tale and The Hunger Games I was immediately sold!
Until I Die delivered everything I didn’t know I needed and more. It was disturbing, scarily reminiscent of the current state of American politics, and truly kept me so captivated. It very much gave me The Handmaids Tale x Alchemised vibes. And I truly believe will deserve all the hype it gets when it releases!
Everything about this book was phenomenal, from the setting, plot, action, and characters. It pulls you in, and eats got alive. Seriously, I’m not sure if I’ll heal from this one for a while.
Side note: the second the title makes sense, I truly broke a little inside, just FYI.
Highly recommend reading this one ASAP and preordering it now!
January 11, 2026
“What now, Juliet? These violent delights have violent ends.”
AGONY. SO MUCH AGONY.
Sometimes I wonder what the limits of human endurance are. How far can a character go for love?
In this case, LUCAS SCOTT will go as far as he can, without looking back even once, because he gets what he wants.
“Grief is like snow.”
— LUCAS SCOTT
Being so well acquainted with grief myself, I absolutely understood the meaning behind those beautiful yet painful words.
The author, Deidra Duncan, did a stunning job bringing every character to life, even through heart-wrenching pain, angst, trauma and anguish. It might get too much at times, but it’s worth the ending.
And I solemnly state that this story, the characters and the emotions are etched into my memory, UNTIL I DIE.
AGONY. SO MUCH AGONY.
Sometimes I wonder what the limits of human endurance are. How far can a character go for love?
In this case, LUCAS SCOTT will go as far as he can, without looking back even once, because he gets what he wants.
“Grief is like snow.”
— LUCAS SCOTT
Being so well acquainted with grief myself, I absolutely understood the meaning behind those beautiful yet painful words.
The author, Deidra Duncan, did a stunning job bringing every character to life, even through heart-wrenching pain, angst, trauma and anguish. It might get too much at times, but it’s worth the ending.
And I solemnly state that this story, the characters and the emotions are etched into my memory, UNTIL I DIE.
January 20, 2026
I am so frustrated with romantasy/dystopian/fantasy etc books as a whole lately. And this one? This one is a laughable modernish day, less well written, less emotionally impactful version of Alchemised. That’s exactly how it read. I got to page 78 and I called time of death because I simply couldn’t deal with how much it’s trying to be something that’s already been done. And I understand that tropes are going to trope and seem similar, but this is just… Too much.
That, along with the painfully stilted prose, horribly cliche dialogue and way too many flashbacks, and I’m done. 🫠
That, along with the painfully stilted prose, horribly cliche dialogue and way too many flashbacks, and I’m done. 🫠
October 30, 2025
Wow. Just WOW WOW WOW. 4.5 /5 stars.
This drops you head first into the middle of a war between a handmaid tale-esque North America, where women are considered second rate and war crimes are celebrated, and a group called the Defiance. We learn quickly that the lead, Sophia, will be used as a bargaining chip with one of the NAO military leaders, Lucas, who has turned into a spy.
This is really balanced between two things: a brutal portrayal of war and a Romeo and Juliet star-crossed lovers romance story. The war portrayal is truly brilliant. There are about a thousand trigger warnings but it's so REAL: there's death, depression, hopelessness, rape, war crimes, executions...this is war on a page, and Duncan doesn't shy away from it. It makes you really engrossed in the loss and politics of war and it really works. There are stakes here and they're INTENSE: I loved it.
The romance between these two is so well done. The tension builds in a way that's completely believable: you get that layer peel-back between the two of them as they drop their pretenses. They are both DEEPLY flawed characters and that attraction just bubbles up and works between them. How Duncan managed to create a HEA in such a deeply dark world is really impressive, and you root for these two from beginning to end.
I think this is a book people will be talking about a TON as we get into the new year.
This drops you head first into the middle of a war between a handmaid tale-esque North America, where women are considered second rate and war crimes are celebrated, and a group called the Defiance. We learn quickly that the lead, Sophia, will be used as a bargaining chip with one of the NAO military leaders, Lucas, who has turned into a spy.
This is really balanced between two things: a brutal portrayal of war and a Romeo and Juliet star-crossed lovers romance story. The war portrayal is truly brilliant. There are about a thousand trigger warnings but it's so REAL: there's death, depression, hopelessness, rape, war crimes, executions...this is war on a page, and Duncan doesn't shy away from it. It makes you really engrossed in the loss and politics of war and it really works. There are stakes here and they're INTENSE: I loved it.
The romance between these two is so well done. The tension builds in a way that's completely believable: you get that layer peel-back between the two of them as they drop their pretenses. They are both DEEPLY flawed characters and that attraction just bubbles up and works between them. How Duncan managed to create a HEA in such a deeply dark world is really impressive, and you root for these two from beginning to end.
I think this is a book people will be talking about a TON as we get into the new year.
December 20, 2025
Okay, I had to sit with this one for a minute before writing my review-mostly to wipe my tears and recover from the emotional trauma this book put me through.
But seriously… this book was incredible. An easy five stars. I was completely hooked from the very first page and could not put it down.
Set in a (hopefully) fictional dystopian future, the story follows a United States that has been slowly and deliberately transformed from a democracy into a brutal authoritarian regime. Women have been stripped of all rights and are treated as property—traded, controlled, and abused. And the citizens have been denied access to all basic human rights, medical care, education, and media. The country is fractured, and the American people are locked in a vicious and devastating civil war.
In a desperate attempt to turn the tide, a member of the Defiance agrees to meet with an informant from the opposing side in exchange for critical information. She goes in expecting to face a monster, someone who will hurt and abuse her, but instead finds unexpected comfort in the man who is meant to be the enemy.
The writing itself is beautifully done. One thing I noted while reading, and even pointed out to my husband, was how much I loved the way the spicy scenes were written. Unlike some books where those moments feel almost pornographic, Deidra writes them in a more poetic, emotional style that fits the tone of the story perfectly and makes them feel meaningful rather than gratuitous. It really worked for me.
This story is devastating, powerful, and emotionally brutal in the best way. It left me shaken, heartbroken, and thinking about it long after I turned the final page. If you’re a fan of dark dystopian fiction that doesn’t pull its punches and still manages moments of beauty and connection, this one is an absolute must-read.
Huge thank you to The Nerd Fam and Deidra Duncan for allowing me this ARC, definitely grabbing a copy when they hit shelves on January 6th!!
But seriously… this book was incredible. An easy five stars. I was completely hooked from the very first page and could not put it down.
Set in a (hopefully) fictional dystopian future, the story follows a United States that has been slowly and deliberately transformed from a democracy into a brutal authoritarian regime. Women have been stripped of all rights and are treated as property—traded, controlled, and abused. And the citizens have been denied access to all basic human rights, medical care, education, and media. The country is fractured, and the American people are locked in a vicious and devastating civil war.
In a desperate attempt to turn the tide, a member of the Defiance agrees to meet with an informant from the opposing side in exchange for critical information. She goes in expecting to face a monster, someone who will hurt and abuse her, but instead finds unexpected comfort in the man who is meant to be the enemy.
The writing itself is beautifully done. One thing I noted while reading, and even pointed out to my husband, was how much I loved the way the spicy scenes were written. Unlike some books where those moments feel almost pornographic, Deidra writes them in a more poetic, emotional style that fits the tone of the story perfectly and makes them feel meaningful rather than gratuitous. It really worked for me.
This story is devastating, powerful, and emotionally brutal in the best way. It left me shaken, heartbroken, and thinking about it long after I turned the final page. If you’re a fan of dark dystopian fiction that doesn’t pull its punches and still manages moments of beauty and connection, this one is an absolute must-read.
Huge thank you to The Nerd Fam and Deidra Duncan for allowing me this ARC, definitely grabbing a copy when they hit shelves on January 6th!!
December 30, 2025
Thanks to Deidra Duncan for the eARC of "Until I Die"- this book will be published as an ebook on January 6, 2026, but is available now on Amazon as a paperback.
WOWOWOWOWOW 5 STARS!! I haven't been on the edge of my seat like that for a book in SO long! I'm gonna say this is likely in my top 3 reads of the year for 2025. I'll be thinking about this book for a LONG time to come.
In a dystopian USA, after the fracture (basically a civil war within the US), everything is a disaster. The New American Order (NAO) has taken over and the Defiance is the force battling them. (Think Handmaid's Tale meets Hunger Games / Alchemized)
This book follows Sophia (FMC) - she's a member of the defiance and is asked to exchange information with the enemy or as the defiance calls them - a blood colonel. Enter Lucas Scott (MMC), a blood colonel for the NAO/NSF, who agrees to trade information with Sophia. In the beginning, Sophia is terrified he will kill her, but as things develop, she realizes there's more to him than meets the eye and that he has a good reason to betray his own. What will unfold when their secrets are out in the open?
THIS BOOK IS DARK AND POLITICAL, but holy cow you won't be able to put it down - I fear this is Deidra's best book to date. It would make SUCH A GOOD MOVIE too.
Tropes:
- First Person POV from FMC perspective
- Enemies to Lovers
- Slow Burn
- Forced Proximity
- Touch Her and Die
- Forbidden Romance
- Dark & Tragic & so amazing that you must read it ASAP!!!!
I think Deidra did such a good job of showing how all leaders, no matter what side, all become a corrupt version of themselves in some way. I typically don't read dystopian books, but I'm SO GLAD I read this one! This book will destroy you in the best possible way.
Pick this book up, I promise you won't be disappointed!!
WOWOWOWOWOW 5 STARS!! I haven't been on the edge of my seat like that for a book in SO long! I'm gonna say this is likely in my top 3 reads of the year for 2025. I'll be thinking about this book for a LONG time to come.
In a dystopian USA, after the fracture (basically a civil war within the US), everything is a disaster. The New American Order (NAO) has taken over and the Defiance is the force battling them. (Think Handmaid's Tale meets Hunger Games / Alchemized)
This book follows Sophia (FMC) - she's a member of the defiance and is asked to exchange information with the enemy or as the defiance calls them - a blood colonel. Enter Lucas Scott (MMC), a blood colonel for the NAO/NSF, who agrees to trade information with Sophia. In the beginning, Sophia is terrified he will kill her, but as things develop, she realizes there's more to him than meets the eye and that he has a good reason to betray his own. What will unfold when their secrets are out in the open?
THIS BOOK IS DARK AND POLITICAL, but holy cow you won't be able to put it down - I fear this is Deidra's best book to date. It would make SUCH A GOOD MOVIE too.
Tropes:
- First Person POV from FMC perspective
- Enemies to Lovers
- Slow Burn
- Forced Proximity
- Touch Her and Die
- Forbidden Romance
- Dark & Tragic & so amazing that you must read it ASAP!!!!
I think Deidra did such a good job of showing how all leaders, no matter what side, all become a corrupt version of themselves in some way. I typically don't read dystopian books, but I'm SO GLAD I read this one! This book will destroy you in the best possible way.
Pick this book up, I promise you won't be disappointed!!
December 11, 2025
“You saved my life again. You save mine everyday.”
This book was everything I wanted and more. It’s dark, gritty, emotional, intense, it’s just so good. This is a dark dystopian and it definitely lives up to that and reading some of it really made me question if it was dystopian based on the current climate (we don’t have time to unpack this). I loved Sophia and Lucas so much. They’re just two broken people who have lost everything then found everything in each other. 🥹 & I loved the side characters as well who were there to support every step of the way.
Not only does it have romance, but it makes you think of what the world could turn into (Handmaids Tale inspired), war propaganda and what you can really trust from the “good” and bad sides.
Read for:
✨ enemies to lovers
✨ forced proximity
✨ slow burn
✨ dark dystopian (check your triggers. I mean dark)
✨ touch her/him and ☠️
✨ open door 🌶️
I just have nothing bad to say about this. It is an instant favorite. Thank you to the author for the ARC! ✨ Out January 6th! (Maybe the date has meaning too? Who knows)
This book was everything I wanted and more. It’s dark, gritty, emotional, intense, it’s just so good. This is a dark dystopian and it definitely lives up to that and reading some of it really made me question if it was dystopian based on the current climate (we don’t have time to unpack this). I loved Sophia and Lucas so much. They’re just two broken people who have lost everything then found everything in each other. 🥹 & I loved the side characters as well who were there to support every step of the way.
Not only does it have romance, but it makes you think of what the world could turn into (Handmaids Tale inspired), war propaganda and what you can really trust from the “good” and bad sides.
Read for:
✨ enemies to lovers
✨ forced proximity
✨ slow burn
✨ dark dystopian (check your triggers. I mean dark)
✨ touch her/him and ☠️
✨ open door 🌶️
I just have nothing bad to say about this. It is an instant favorite. Thank you to the author for the ARC! ✨ Out January 6th! (Maybe the date has meaning too? Who knows)
Review of advance copy received from Author
THIS BOOK HAD ME IN A C H O K E H O L D!!!!!!!!!
Thank you & happy pub day to @deidraduncanwrites for the #gifted copy of "Until I Die" [Pub Date: OUT NOW]
I was not ready to read a five-star book so early in the year. I was especially not read to be absolutely enveloped in a story with the d a r k e s t plot.
I was h o o k e d into this from page one. Deidra really created the scariest & most gripping dystopian world. She opened my eyes to how scary the world could be in the hands of the wrong leader. And trust me, this book isn't for the faint of heart. There's some scenes that will give you nightmares.
But my goodness, the love story was the most devastatingly beautiful thing I have ever read. This is literally the enemies to lovers' story.
My heart head and soul have been taken by Until I Die.
❤️ DARK Dystopian
🖤 Enemies to Lovers
❤️ Forbidden Romance
🖤 Will tear your heart right our of your chest
❤️ Secret Alliance
🖤 Touch Her & ☠️
Thank you & happy pub day to @deidraduncanwrites for the #gifted copy of "Until I Die" [Pub Date: OUT NOW]
I was not ready to read a five-star book so early in the year. I was especially not read to be absolutely enveloped in a story with the d a r k e s t plot.
I was h o o k e d into this from page one. Deidra really created the scariest & most gripping dystopian world. She opened my eyes to how scary the world could be in the hands of the wrong leader. And trust me, this book isn't for the faint of heart. There's some scenes that will give you nightmares.
But my goodness, the love story was the most devastatingly beautiful thing I have ever read. This is literally the enemies to lovers' story.
My heart head and soul have been taken by Until I Die.
❤️ DARK Dystopian
🖤 Enemies to Lovers
❤️ Forbidden Romance
🖤 Will tear your heart right our of your chest
❤️ Secret Alliance
🖤 Touch Her & ☠️
January 26, 2026
(Audible) 4.25 stars!! A dystopian drama with a Romeo and Juliette style romance. A little steam. Limited cursing. Lots of violence, but not much gorey detail. There are lots of trigger warnings at the beginning, but as I mentioned, there isn't any detail in the terrible stuff, so I didn't find it to be thar bad at all. The world building and story are really great, the characters are so relatable. Admittedly, I couldn't help but picture a certain "Lucas Scott" from the old show "One Tree Hill" everytime his name was mentioned. 😁 Anyway, really enjoyable story. And I'm grateful it is a stand alone because I was starting to worry that I'd be left hanging for a book that wasn't available for a long time to come.
January 17, 2026
Huge thanks to Deidra Duncan for the ARC!
This was a dark, hauntingly romantic story that really stayed with me. It’s set in a totalitarian America where women have lost all autonomy, and the setting feels terrifyingly timely and realistic. I definitely got heavy The Handmaid’s Tale vibes from this one, and it kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time!
As a medic for the Defiance, Sophia Reeves is tasked with contacting the cold-hearted Colonel Lucas Scott. Their relationship serves as a tiny flicker of light in such a devastating, high-stakes world. Between the constant danger and the wonderful found family characters like Adam, this was such an emotionally impactful and important read.
⚠️ Please be aware: This is a very dark read that involves war violence and mentions of sexual assault.
I really appreciated how the author handled such heavy themes while still giving us a connection worth rooting for. It was intense, high stakes, and left me with a lot to think about! All opinions are my own.
🌑 Dystopian/Totalitarian America
🩺 Medic x Colonel
⚔️ High Stakes Rebellion
🔥 Forbidden & Dark
🏚️ Post-Apocalyptic Vibes
🫶🏻 Found Family
📈 High Tension
💔 Emotional & Impactful
This was a dark, hauntingly romantic story that really stayed with me. It’s set in a totalitarian America where women have lost all autonomy, and the setting feels terrifyingly timely and realistic. I definitely got heavy The Handmaid’s Tale vibes from this one, and it kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time!
As a medic for the Defiance, Sophia Reeves is tasked with contacting the cold-hearted Colonel Lucas Scott. Their relationship serves as a tiny flicker of light in such a devastating, high-stakes world. Between the constant danger and the wonderful found family characters like Adam, this was such an emotionally impactful and important read.
⚠️ Please be aware: This is a very dark read that involves war violence and mentions of sexual assault.
I really appreciated how the author handled such heavy themes while still giving us a connection worth rooting for. It was intense, high stakes, and left me with a lot to think about! All opinions are my own.
🌑 Dystopian/Totalitarian America
🩺 Medic x Colonel
⚔️ High Stakes Rebellion
🔥 Forbidden & Dark
🏚️ Post-Apocalyptic Vibes
🫶🏻 Found Family
📈 High Tension
💔 Emotional & Impactful
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