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Patients I Will Never Forget
In her twenty-five years as a primary care internist, Dr. Sally Burbank has seen everything---lunatics, criminals, hypochondriacs, and even a Cocker spaniel!By popular demand, she has penned a collection of humorous and inspiring true stories to forever capture these memorable encounters. The antics of a demented octogenarian and a dimwitted patient named "Bob" will leave you laughing out loud. Her disastrous attempts to combine medicine with motherhood will reveal a new side to ladies in lab coats. The inane ICD-10 codes and decisions of insurance companies will leave you shaking your head in disgust. Stir in a wheelchair-bound, legally blind dialysis patient who insists on serving others until her last dying breath, a comatose leukemia patient miraculously healed, and an unfortunate soul doomed to chopping onions forty-hours a week, and you are guaranteed to laugh, cry, and tell your friends about this amazing new book.Hilarious cartoons and quotations relevant to each story add icing to the cake, and make Patients I Will Never Forget a must-read for anyone who enjoyed All Creatures Great and Small.
360 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 4, 2014
612 people are currently reading
267 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
July 15, 2016
I usually really like books like this, with anecdotes of medical training or practice. I've read several, both fiction and non, and possibly because I have a medical background myself, I enjoy the genre.
I did not enjoy this.
In fact, though it flew by quickly and was reasonably well-edited (though there were a couple of comma train wrecks) and conversational, I nearly abandoned it about a dozen times. Honestly, I think the only thing that kept me going was my desire to rate the book and still be able to say I read the whole thing. (I'll rate DNFed books too, but only if I've read a good-sized chunk...and even then I feel like my credibility is taking a hit when I do it.)
[Note: I'm not tagging anything — it's not a spoiler if there's no plot, right? — but I do quote from the book.]
I have two major issues with this one. Either would've resulted in a negative score, but together? Dr. Burbank is lucky I can't go lower than one.
The first problem is the humor. PIWNF was written with the intent of being funny...and the fact that Burbank isn't particularly funny shines through full force. The whole thing screams “I'm trying too hard!” Some of the stories were mildly amusing. Nothing was laugh-out-loud funny, but I think a good delivery might've helped. But...Burbank's delivery isn't good. She just doesn't have the cadence or sense of timing or facility with words or punctuation that the great humor writers employ.
In what I can only assume was an effort to pad her word count, Burbank also wastes great swaths of book on dumb single-pane comics and there's a whole chapter, albeit a short one, of bad jokes a la Jeff Foxworthy: “you might be married to a doctor if...” (I didn't find him especially funny, either, if you're wondering.) I'm not impressed by authors who fill pages with an unskilled google search of lame jokes they didn't even write themselves. (OK, I can't swear she didn't write them herself...but if she did, she should be embarrassed.) There's another chapter or two of mocking some of the ridiculous medical codes doctors use for billing patients, but there again, she ruins what might be worth a grin or a snort with inept delivery.
If she were only unfunny, the book might have still been worth two stars — there wasn't enough depth in any of the anecdotes to elevate it to three — except for the second problem: I didn't like her.
Actually, it goes deeper than that. I not only don't like Dr. Burbank, I actively dislike her. In fact, I'm more than a little horrified by her. It's a combination, I think, of her gross unprofessionalism — which she blithely shares as though she doesn't realize her behavior is awful rather than funny — and her sanctimonious preaching.
I will never be a person who dislikes someone just because they're religious. Go ahead and believe in anything you want, it's no skin off my nose. No, the religious people I dislike are the ones who wave their piety like a flag, who can't accept that it's alright that others don't believe the same things they do. Burbank, feeling secure on the moral high ground she's staked out, oversteps the bounds of a professional physician over and over, using the power imbalance inherent in the doctor-patient relationship to bludgeon her patients (and probably everyone else she meets) with her faith. She tells her patients to stay virgins until marriage. She talks about how she regrets not preaching the gospel to a patient before she died...as though THAT was her big failure. Her trans patients are “surprisingly normal.” She shoves “promising” scripture verses into her patients' hands. She encourages them to read the Bible and pray daily.
And then there's my favorite: the mentally ill patient who Burbank, after stopping immediately inside the patient's room to pray, diagnosed as demon-possessed. Naturally, the exorcism that Burbank performed was completely successful and the patient's life was changed forever.
I am not making that up.
Burbank actually believes the strength of her prayers drove a demon from the soul of a patient the doctor described as a “terrifying demonized freak.”
I don't even have words.
If that's not enough to convince you of her ginormous ego, there's more. When a patient's disease went into remission, her exact words were “God's timing — to the very hour — was God's special blessing to me; it was God's reminder that He listens to the prayers of those who pray without ceasing if the prayers are in line with His purposes.” In other words, she's such a good Christian, she can even cure cancer...and when God comes through, it's not a blessing for the patient, it's a special favor for HER.
Gah.
But, OK. Perhaps you also believe in demons and the healing power of prayer, and you think I'm being unfair. I'll tell you, I would have disliked the doctor even if she was a model atheist. Some quotes to illustrate:
“Trashy and cheap — the words flashed through my mind the minute Joanna...ambled her way into my exam room.”
“Why did I even bother trying to help her? Talk about a waste of time.”
“I had spent hours over the years...attempting to motivate the butterball to lose weight.”
(On spotting a wheelchair-bound patient when evacuating for a tornado) “My first...thought was just to leave her there. She'd already lived a long life, while I still had two little kids at home who needed their mother.”
“Ever known someone with the IQ of a bathroom plunger? Well, that pretty much sums up Bob's mental acuity.”
“I wanted to tell her, 'Look lady, he's dumb. Trust me, you don't want him.' I wanted to tell Bob, 'She doesn't care two cents about you. She's nothing but a sleaze bucket. Be grateful you couldn't perform, or she'd likely have landed you in an STD clinic.”
“God forbid he pass his genes on to another generation.”
In short, Dr. Burbank is mean. She's uncharitable. She disdains fat people, even as she admits she herself is overweight. She tells a story in the chapter about stories that made her laugh that ended with a dementia patient being put on long-term tranquilizers to chemically restrain him (finally “compliant”). She mocks her patients' looks, intelligence, lack of sense, and choices. She mocks her staff, too, when she isn't assuming they're trying to weasel out of work or giving them undesirable chores because she can or managing them with passive aggression rather than dialogue. She blows off patient complaints about drug side effects. She tells her family — her children! — all about her patients' medical problems.
Dr. Burbank is a preachy, judgmental, holier-than-thou, unkind, ungenerous, insincere, egotistical, smug, hateful woman without an iota of self-awareness. I'm actually upset that the $0.99 I paid for this garbage put even a few pennies in this monster's pocket. Part of me hopes her patients never find out how low the regard in which she holds them is, and part of me hopes they do — maybe then they'd be free to find a doctor who isn't so awful.
I did not enjoy this.
In fact, though it flew by quickly and was reasonably well-edited (though there were a couple of comma train wrecks) and conversational, I nearly abandoned it about a dozen times. Honestly, I think the only thing that kept me going was my desire to rate the book and still be able to say I read the whole thing. (I'll rate DNFed books too, but only if I've read a good-sized chunk...and even then I feel like my credibility is taking a hit when I do it.)
[Note: I'm not tagging anything — it's not a spoiler if there's no plot, right? — but I do quote from the book.]
I have two major issues with this one. Either would've resulted in a negative score, but together? Dr. Burbank is lucky I can't go lower than one.
The first problem is the humor. PIWNF was written with the intent of being funny...and the fact that Burbank isn't particularly funny shines through full force. The whole thing screams “I'm trying too hard!” Some of the stories were mildly amusing. Nothing was laugh-out-loud funny, but I think a good delivery might've helped. But...Burbank's delivery isn't good. She just doesn't have the cadence or sense of timing or facility with words or punctuation that the great humor writers employ.
In what I can only assume was an effort to pad her word count, Burbank also wastes great swaths of book on dumb single-pane comics and there's a whole chapter, albeit a short one, of bad jokes a la Jeff Foxworthy: “you might be married to a doctor if...” (I didn't find him especially funny, either, if you're wondering.) I'm not impressed by authors who fill pages with an unskilled google search of lame jokes they didn't even write themselves. (OK, I can't swear she didn't write them herself...but if she did, she should be embarrassed.) There's another chapter or two of mocking some of the ridiculous medical codes doctors use for billing patients, but there again, she ruins what might be worth a grin or a snort with inept delivery.
If she were only unfunny, the book might have still been worth two stars — there wasn't enough depth in any of the anecdotes to elevate it to three — except for the second problem: I didn't like her.
Actually, it goes deeper than that. I not only don't like Dr. Burbank, I actively dislike her. In fact, I'm more than a little horrified by her. It's a combination, I think, of her gross unprofessionalism — which she blithely shares as though she doesn't realize her behavior is awful rather than funny — and her sanctimonious preaching.
I will never be a person who dislikes someone just because they're religious. Go ahead and believe in anything you want, it's no skin off my nose. No, the religious people I dislike are the ones who wave their piety like a flag, who can't accept that it's alright that others don't believe the same things they do. Burbank, feeling secure on the moral high ground she's staked out, oversteps the bounds of a professional physician over and over, using the power imbalance inherent in the doctor-patient relationship to bludgeon her patients (and probably everyone else she meets) with her faith. She tells her patients to stay virgins until marriage. She talks about how she regrets not preaching the gospel to a patient before she died...as though THAT was her big failure. Her trans patients are “surprisingly normal.” She shoves “promising” scripture verses into her patients' hands. She encourages them to read the Bible and pray daily.
And then there's my favorite: the mentally ill patient who Burbank, after stopping immediately inside the patient's room to pray, diagnosed as demon-possessed. Naturally, the exorcism that Burbank performed was completely successful and the patient's life was changed forever.
I am not making that up.
Burbank actually believes the strength of her prayers drove a demon from the soul of a patient the doctor described as a “terrifying demonized freak.”
I don't even have words.
If that's not enough to convince you of her ginormous ego, there's more. When a patient's disease went into remission, her exact words were “God's timing — to the very hour — was God's special blessing to me; it was God's reminder that He listens to the prayers of those who pray without ceasing if the prayers are in line with His purposes.” In other words, she's such a good Christian, she can even cure cancer...and when God comes through, it's not a blessing for the patient, it's a special favor for HER.
Gah.
But, OK. Perhaps you also believe in demons and the healing power of prayer, and you think I'm being unfair. I'll tell you, I would have disliked the doctor even if she was a model atheist. Some quotes to illustrate:
“Trashy and cheap — the words flashed through my mind the minute Joanna...ambled her way into my exam room.”
“Why did I even bother trying to help her? Talk about a waste of time.”
“I had spent hours over the years...attempting to motivate the butterball to lose weight.”
(On spotting a wheelchair-bound patient when evacuating for a tornado) “My first...thought was just to leave her there. She'd already lived a long life, while I still had two little kids at home who needed their mother.”
“Ever known someone with the IQ of a bathroom plunger? Well, that pretty much sums up Bob's mental acuity.”
“I wanted to tell her, 'Look lady, he's dumb. Trust me, you don't want him.' I wanted to tell Bob, 'She doesn't care two cents about you. She's nothing but a sleaze bucket. Be grateful you couldn't perform, or she'd likely have landed you in an STD clinic.”
“God forbid he pass his genes on to another generation.”
In short, Dr. Burbank is mean. She's uncharitable. She disdains fat people, even as she admits she herself is overweight. She tells a story in the chapter about stories that made her laugh that ended with a dementia patient being put on long-term tranquilizers to chemically restrain him (finally “compliant”). She mocks her patients' looks, intelligence, lack of sense, and choices. She mocks her staff, too, when she isn't assuming they're trying to weasel out of work or giving them undesirable chores because she can or managing them with passive aggression rather than dialogue. She blows off patient complaints about drug side effects. She tells her family — her children! — all about her patients' medical problems.
Dr. Burbank is a preachy, judgmental, holier-than-thou, unkind, ungenerous, insincere, egotistical, smug, hateful woman without an iota of self-awareness. I'm actually upset that the $0.99 I paid for this garbage put even a few pennies in this monster's pocket. Part of me hopes her patients never find out how low the regard in which she holds them is, and part of me hopes they do — maybe then they'd be free to find a doctor who isn't so awful.
March 26, 2015
Although I was in the middle of another gripping book, I couldn't resist picking this one up to read while in the middle of an exhausting holiday. I needed something to pick-me-up-and-perk-me-up and this book was definitely in that category. Hilariously laugh out loud funny, I couldn't put this one down until it was finished. For anyone who needs a good laugh, enjoys medical humour that is sometimes dark, humerous writing, or has any sort of funny bone in their body, I prescribe this book. There are also quite a few inspiring stories that are heartwarming and of course sad ones too. Far too many good bits to quote from - it's all good. Seriously. Read it now. Highly recommended and I do hope that there will be more books from this author.
January 7, 2016
unimpressed. stuck with it but found the author quite unlikeable. Too preachy for my liking with too many prayer references. As a medical practictioner I would have expected a more sympathetic tone. she was downright mean about some patients!
June 25, 2015
Patients I will Never Forget by Sally Willard Burbank, M.D., was absolutely delightful. Dr. Burbank shared some of her experiences as she went through medical school and set up her own practice. Then she kindly shared some of her patients with the reader. The book is more than a description of memorable patients. It is both inspiring and funny. There are cartoons and wonderful quotes in every chapter of the book. Her patients range from so difficult to handle that they were humorous, such as Bob, to the one who graciously lived to 105. Another patient, Barbara, is an example of how we all should live our lives— with kindness and respect toward others no matter how difficult our own circumstances. It was very special of Dr. Burbank to share her hectic life with us and, as a result, leave the reader with a smile on her face as well a will to appreciate the life with which God has blessed her.
December 19, 2015
Insulting
I don't understand all the five star ratings for this book. One or two chapters made me smile, but mostly I was cringing for her patients. I've had similar thoughts and feelings about patrons where I work, but I'd never put it in writing. If you can't ask your doctor, who can you ask? The references to religion, prayer and God bothered me coming from a person with a less-than-charitable opinion of her patients. And the entire thing made me wonder what my PCP thinks about me!
I don't understand all the five star ratings for this book. One or two chapters made me smile, but mostly I was cringing for her patients. I've had similar thoughts and feelings about patrons where I work, but I'd never put it in writing. If you can't ask your doctor, who can you ask? The references to religion, prayer and God bothered me coming from a person with a less-than-charitable opinion of her patients. And the entire thing made me wonder what my PCP thinks about me!
June 13, 2015
I really enjoyed this book! After reading what I thought was going to be a fun summer read, only to be sorely disappointed, I downloaded this book and couldn't put it down! Dr. Burbank' s stories are wonderful! You'll cry, you'll laugh and you will be happy reading this wonderful book!
February 14, 2018
Some of these stories are laugh-out-loud funny. Some of them made me intensely grateful I’m not a doctor. Overall, a good book.
The author is a a Christian physician, and her faith features prominently in the book. If this bothers you, this is not the book for you.
The author is a a Christian physician, and her faith features prominently in the book. If this bothers you, this is not the book for you.
February 19, 2020
Great inspiration
A 'can't out down' read! Joyous and thoughtful, I will be looking for more by Dr. Burbank. Your patients are truly blessed to have found you for their care. Wishing you the best in your future.
A 'can't out down' read! Joyous and thoughtful, I will be looking for more by Dr. Burbank. Your patients are truly blessed to have found you for their care. Wishing you the best in your future.
January 11, 2017
I love humorous books and this one did just the job. Doctor Burbank relates her religion, life obstacles and profession all in one by retelling some of the stories from her most memorable patients.
There were a few times when I felt like there was no way she knew all the information about some of the happenings if her story. They were just way too detailed. Also, I felt she was kind of judgmental to be a physician. She talked badly about a lot of her patients, even though she never said the things out loud. It makes me wonder what my doctor really thinks of me. What I did like was her infusion of religion. Sometimes people in the medical field become so heartless after they've seen so many of the same cases. Things start not to affect them anymore. So it was nice to read about a doctor that actively relied on spiritual guidance and prayer to get to the nitty gritty of what her patients needed.
There were a few times when I felt like there was no way she knew all the information about some of the happenings if her story. They were just way too detailed. Also, I felt she was kind of judgmental to be a physician. She talked badly about a lot of her patients, even though she never said the things out loud. It makes me wonder what my doctor really thinks of me. What I did like was her infusion of religion. Sometimes people in the medical field become so heartless after they've seen so many of the same cases. Things start not to affect them anymore. So it was nice to read about a doctor that actively relied on spiritual guidance and prayer to get to the nitty gritty of what her patients needed.
January 11, 2016
I really hope that this author used a faux name because I would be mortified if I was one of the patients mentioned. Even if real names were not used, I'm sure people are able to put two and two together.
I feel a bit jaded after reading this book. I've always just assumed that physicians are the most professional and respectful people. Perhaps that is just not true, because clearly this doctor does not hold back judgement.
I feel a bit jaded after reading this book. I've always just assumed that physicians are the most professional and respectful people. Perhaps that is just not true, because clearly this doctor does not hold back judgement.
December 29, 2015
I made it halfway through the book when I had to put it down. Spending an entire section belittling a patient, especially one who seemed to be socioeconomically disadvantaged, is not what I expect from a medical professional commiting their life to caring for people. Particularly one referencing scripture throughout the book. Very disappointed.
January 3, 2016
This might be a good present for a newly graduated medical student. A few of the stories are gems, but some of the humor is weak and the insights aren't particularly interesting. The accompanying humorous cartoons and quotes are what carries the book forward.
I suspect Burbank could have written a much stronger book if she had aimed for a more straightforward memoir instead of vignettes.
I suspect Burbank could have written a much stronger book if she had aimed for a more straightforward memoir instead of vignettes.
January 16, 2016
Great book
Anyone that has been in the medical profession in anyway will really understand and could add enough for another book. The rest of you can have a few laughs and maybe some understanding.
Anyone that has been in the medical profession in anyway will really understand and could add enough for another book. The rest of you can have a few laughs and maybe some understanding.
August 3, 2016
Very nice
It was a great read. Very funny, sad and informative. There are some truly crazy people in this world and she seems to have met them all! Loved this book. My only complaint is that it had to end.
It was a great read. Very funny, sad and informative. There are some truly crazy people in this world and she seems to have met them all! Loved this book. My only complaint is that it had to end.
October 25, 2019
Wish she was my doctor
Loved her stories, her warm humor and the love she had for all. Loved how she showed Christian values, prayers and hope. Looking forward to more of her books!
Loved her stories, her warm humor and the love she had for all. Loved how she showed Christian values, prayers and hope. Looking forward to more of her books!
January 8, 2020
Fascinating
While one or two chapters aren't spectacular, they are important for patients to know.
I have a wonderful doctor, much like Dr. Burbank. Sometimes a prayer while he's doing topical surgery is exactly what is needed!
It's well worth the read!
While one or two chapters aren't spectacular, they are important for patients to know.
I have a wonderful doctor, much like Dr. Burbank. Sometimes a prayer while he's doing topical surgery is exactly what is needed!
It's well worth the read!
January 20, 2020
Skills, Thrills, and Life of a Doctor
One thing most certain is we will need the skill of a doctor sometimes in our life. You will be thrilled as you read through this wonderful book.
One thing most certain is we will need the skill of a doctor sometimes in our life. You will be thrilled as you read through this wonderful book.
December 31, 2015
I really did not think this book was funny. I was really disappointed. The author did not seem to respect her patients.
December 14, 2015
Really dry.
December 16, 2015
Cute
Cute book, some cute stories and some heartfelt. She is religious so some of her religion comes in but overall cute
Cute book, some cute stories and some heartfelt. She is religious so some of her religion comes in but overall cute
December 17, 2015
Funny, sad, eye-opening. A great read, but with so many typos, I couldn't get the full enjoyment of it.
Read
December 28, 2015Absolutely Hysterical.
December 23, 2015
I really enjoyed reading these stories about people. it was very entertaining and enjoyable.
December 23, 2015
Bawdy
The author is an MD, so I was expecting explicit, but I was not prepared for her to revel in it!!!
The author is an MD, so I was expecting explicit, but I was not prepared for her to revel in it!!!
December 27, 2015
Funny
Funny stories from a talented writer-doctor who knows how to make you laugh while she laughs with you. Medical personnel will love this.
Funny stories from a talented writer-doctor who knows how to make you laugh while she laughs with you. Medical personnel will love this.
January 3, 2016
A nice easy read. Funny in parts, other parts make you think a bit. Enjoyed it.
January 17, 2016
set in the usa told done funny stories of patients and staff over time. ...worth a read. ..
January 25, 2016
Very funny
As a health care provider I found this book very funny and a real life example of the world we live in! I will recommend this to others in my field!!
As a health care provider I found this book very funny and a real life example of the world we live in! I will recommend this to others in my field!!
January 31, 2016
This was book that just read in between others when there wasn't much time ... It was interesting and funny at times while making you wonder about the medical profession.
March 16, 2016
Much appreciated!
As a nurse, I appreciate hearing about medicine from a doctor's perspective! Good stories told humorously and accurately! Well done?
As a nurse, I appreciate hearing about medicine from a doctor's perspective! Good stories told humorously and accurately! Well done?
Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews