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First published June 30, 2026
She bristles when he(Seb) tests the water, asks what names she likes, wonders if she’d ever raise kids in London. Skirts around the actual question, the big question he doesn’t want to ask, because he doesn’t want to hear the answer.
She knows that Seb wants a girl. That he’d call her Eleanora, if he had one.
And she knows that she’s a monster, because she does not want the same thing. When they had their first fight about it, Clara was angry because she could tell that Seb assumed she’d change her mind eventually. They’ve fought about it again since.
There are babies everywhere. She’s drowning in babies. So how could there not be something wrong with her, some crucial part of her missing, when people say, you next, and all she wants to say is, not me, not ever.