Sex Diaries: Real-life Stories of Non-Monogamy and Polyamory

by Alyssa Shelasky

Intimate, captivating, never-before-seen true stories from the edge of modern sex and dating, compiled by Alyssa Shelasky, in the style of her wildly popular New York Magazine column—with an introduction from Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist and NYT bestselling author of Mating in Captivity

Polyamory is hardly a new cultural touchstone, yet as it continues to enter the mainstream dating world, its realities often remain opaque. What does the everyday life of someone with multiple partners actually look like? How do you navigate the daily logistics and the competing schedules? How do you deal with jealousy? In this candid, groundbreaking compilation of anonymous accounts, told by real people navigating sex and dating outside the bounds of traditional monogamy, Alyssa Shelasky pulls back the curtain.

A 67-year-old woman keeps a collection of well-endowed lovers in various corners of the world; a restaurant owner is jolted back to life when she gets illicit messages from a married man; a Brooklynite plans a porn brunch for her birthday, reveling in the fact that she finally feels at ease in her body.

Some diarists are just beginning to question their relationship with monogamy, others have been polyamorous for a long-time. Some accounts are graphic and dishy, while others focus on the search for lasting connections that feel genuinely liberatory. Every single one is strikingly honest and authentic, revealing expansive tales of love, lust, longing and desire.

Genres: Nonfiction

272 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication July 14, 2026

Reviews

[Patty Ramirez · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very intimate look at non-monogamy and polyamory told in 7-day diaries by anonymous contributors. This was an educational and eye-opening book for me as someone who is interested in the dynamics of polyamory.

Loved how open and vulnerable the diarists were and I'm now interested in following this series on New York Magazine.

Read this!

Thank you to Random House and the author for providing a free copy of this book through NetGalley.

[Allison Pace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a surprisingly hard time settling on a rating for Sex Diaries, which feels appropriate given how mixed my reaction was. In a lot of ways, I liked it but I also felt like something was missing.

The diary-style format was both a strength and a limitation for me. I appreciated how immediate and personal it felt, like getting unfiltered access to people’s daily lives. It kept me engaged and made the book easy to read in short bursts. At the same time, that format often left me unsatisfied. I kept wanting more context; more about each person’s background, how they came to practice ENM, and especially what happened beyond the seven days we’re given.

Each entry was interesting, and I was consistently curious about the people featured, but I never quite felt like I got the full picture. Just as I started to feel invested in someone’s story, it would end. That sense of incompleteness stayed with me throughout.

Overall, this was an engaging and thought-provoking read, even if it didn’t fully deliver on the depth I was hoping for. I don’t have any strong negatives, but I also don’t have anything overwhelmingly positive to point to either. It just sits somewhere in the middle for me.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC for my opinion!

[Sandrine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not the type of book I usually read but I was definitely very intrigued by this concept. 21 people are sharing a week in their lives as polyamorous or non monogamous. It was very interesting to get a glimpse of their life and lifestyle. As this is so different from my own life, it brought me a lot of questions. I also discussed some of the stories with my friends and it led to some very interesting and animated conversations.
I think it’s best to go into this book with an open mind and just appreciate the vulnerability and openness that these 21 people shared with the readers. All of them have different reasons and perspectives on polyamory or non monogamy which is what makes it so fascinating.
Overall, it’s a thought provoking book for people who are not familiar with this type of relationships. As a very curious person, I quite enjoyed being in the intimacy of these people’s lives and seeing the pros and cons of this relationship choice !

Thank you to the publisher for an arc of this book, opinions are my own.

[Lindsey Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very unique, fun, and spicy read. The combination of personal information, monotonous pieces of life, and sexual escapades was like nothing I've ever seen in non-fiction before. As a true monogamous woman, the exploration of ethical non-monogamy was interesting. Some stories were more scandalous than others but the variety was intriguing and kept me coming back excited to meet each new narrator. I wish we would have defined the narrator a bit more at the beginning of each chapter. We get age and relationship status but gender identity may have been helpful because I was guessing a couple pages in for most chapters.

Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC!

[Cindi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although this book isn’t my usual choice, its concept intrigued me. Twenty-one people share a week from their lives as polyamorous or non-monogamous, offering insight into lifestyles that are quite different from mine. The stories spurred thoughtful discussions and raised many questions for me and my friends. Approaching the book with an open mind helps to appreciate the honesty and diverse reasons behind these relationship choices. Overall, it’s a thought-provoking read for those unfamiliar with polyamory. The 7-day diaries provide an intimate perspective on non-monogamy and polyamory.

[Ashleyt · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting and raw look at ENM and other forms of polyamory. Through several individual diarist you read about their experiences, emotions and relationships in all forms. The collection focuses more on communication and how polyamory works in everyday life for all participants in the relationships.

It was beautiful to see people living the life they wanted at all ages.

Thank you Netgallery for the ARC.

[Sonee Singh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was curious about this book because a friend of mine became polyamorous recently and I wanted to understand in a nonjudgmental way, or at least try. I skimmed through many portions but appreciate that each chapter is a 7-day diary from a different person, so it offers a range of perspectives and experiences. It did help me better understand.
Thank you to the publisher for an ARC.

[Olya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sex Diaries was easy to read, but I often wanted more context about the people and their relationships. Just as I started to connect with a story, it would end, which left it feeling incomplete for me.

I received this book from NetGalley. All opinions are my own.