☆ 𝟧 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗌
“𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙩.”
this review is gonna be so hard for me to write because this book truly shattered my heart into pieces, i love this book with my whole heart. everything about this book isn’t fair, but that’s life. 💔
“𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙝, 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙝. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩-𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙡𝙡. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙞𝙩. 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣’𝙩.”
summary;
𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘁𝘁 met his best friend 𝗿𝘆𝗮𝗻 in the army. ryan is the closest thing to a family beckett has ever had, well except for beckett’s work dog 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗰. one day beckett gets a letter from ryan’s little sister 𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮, and ryan insists on beckett answering back, so he does. beckett and ella have never met, but they fall in love through each other's words. until one day when ryan gets killed in the field, and everything changes. ryan’s last letter is also his last wish, and he wishes for beckett to go back and take care of ella and her kids for him, now that he can’t. problem is just that for beckett to make ryan’s last wish come true, he can’t go back as the man ella knows him as “𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗼𝘀”, he has to go back as 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘁𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆 a complete stranger to ella.
𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮 became a mother at the age of 19, her so-called “fiancé” left her during pregnancy. ella was pregnant with two angles 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝘁 and 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗲, god bless those kids. when ella’s fiancé 𝗷𝗲𝗳𝗳 left her, he didn’t just leave her with two kids to raise on her own, he also left her with major trust issues. so all of a sudden when this “stranger” stands at ella’s workplace and reserves a hotel room for 7 months, and tells her he’s in town to help her, because that was her brother's last wish, she doesn’t know what to do.
characters;
𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘁𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆 / 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗼𝘀 ❤️🩹
my sweet man. god, i love beckett with my whole heart. he deserves to finally be happy and have a family. this man would do anything and everything for ella, maisie and colt. this man used to say he wasn’t sure he’d want kids because he didn’t have a dad, he had a father but not a dad. but the way he was with maisie and colt was incredibly humbling, so many men / fathers could learn from this man. he loved maisie and colt so effortlessly, and he loved them as if they were his own. don’t even get me started on ella and beckett, because gosh this man would do anything to see ella smile.
“𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚. 𝙄𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙬 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧.”
𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗻𝘇𝗶𝗲 🫂
this woman is living every mother’s worst nightmare. and my heart goes out to every mother who has experienced anything like ella, because idk how ella made it through all that, i don’t think i would’ve tbh. ella’s daughter maisie was diagnosed with cancer, they found a tumor in her hip i think (correct me if i’m wrong) the way ella made sure to always be there for both maisie and colt was amazing, she’s such a great, loving mother. not only was there a big chance for her daughter maisie to die, but she also received a letter from the army telling her that her brother / best friend had died in the field. everything ella went through was so unfair because she truly couldn’t do anything about it.
“𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙚, 𝙄’𝙢 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙮.”
𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗻𝘇𝗶𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆 / 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗲 ❤️🔥
my precious little girl, gosh girl is so fucking strong. she fought cancer like it was her bitch, and i love her for it. while I read about maisie fighting cancer i thought to myself “she’s somebody’s little girl” and that thought had me bawling my eyes out at 3am. because life can be so unfair. maisie went through so much in just a year or two, she fought for her life every second of the day. i prayed for this little girl in every page of the book. maisie’s journey made me so fucking emotional, especially because i myself lost someone to cancer, and i know many others have too. and i’m so proud of this little fighter.
“𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄’𝙢 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙨. 𝙈𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙨 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮’𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮’𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙪𝙥.”
𝗰𝗼𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗻𝘇𝗶𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆 / 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝘁 👼🏼
my little angel boy. every time i think about colt i cry. this little man deserves everything and more. seeing this little man watching his twin sister fight for her life every day was so unfair. colt is probably the sweetest and most humble kid I’ve ever read about. colt’s relationship with havoc (beckett’s dog) was so touching to me (i’m a dog human through and through) dogs are truly the human's best friend, and this book really showed a perfect picture of the friendship between a good human and a dog. colt was such a clever boy, some of the things he said, god you’d think he was 60 years old or something. i feel robbed after the ending of this book, colt deserved so much better ! 💔
“𝙄𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚?”
“𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚?”
“𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙙𝙖𝙙?”
you know how i said i wanted a book to break my heart ? well, you best believe i got what i wanted. i can’t stop looking at the book, and every time i look at the book i just feel so empty. i feel like everything is so unfair because this book isn’t just fiction, it’s real life for some people. and my heart goes out to everyone who’s either a beckett, ella, maisie, or colt in real life <3
“𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚.”
now i need to know who thought the ending was a good idea / plot twist ?! because i hope your pillow is warm on each side ! the ending broke my heart like it’s never been broken before. i’d do anything for a different ending of this book, but at the same time, i see why they decided to go with this ending. the ending made this book real because everything in life isn’t always as you think it’s gonna be, sometimes unfair things happen to people who don’t deserve it.
“𝙄 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙄 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙨, 𝘾𝙤𝙡𝙩. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬, 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚.”
i’m not gonna list the tropes in this book, because that would be a spoiler. but if you’re a mother i’d recommend you look the tropes up before reading this book, because it will most definitely break your heart.
romantic moments between beckett and ella;
“𝙂𝙤𝙙, 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧.”
“𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙙 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚?”
“𝙄’𝙙 𝙙𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪.”
“𝙄’𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙀𝙡𝙡𝙖 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚.”
“𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧.”
songs / lyrics;
𝘂𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗯𝘆 𝘅 𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗱𝗼𝗿𝘀
♪ 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥, 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯, 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦
‘𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪’𝘮 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺
𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 ♪
𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝗺 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗵
♪ ‘𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 ♪
𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗯𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗻𝗲
♪ 𝘪’𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯’ 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦
𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦, ‘𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘹-𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳
𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪 𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 ♪