Finding Ricky

by Terrence Poppa

As Ricky's father, Cowboy had a lot going for him, but he made one fatal mistake that inflicted life-altering trauma on his son and himself. How this gets resolved is the focus of this deeply moving father-son story.

An undercover agent famed for taking out major bad guys, Cowboy now finds himself in a twilight world of shifting reality and surreal experience when he enters a special program under the direction of an unseen supervisor known only as “the Soup.” Ostensibly, the program aims at helping him deal with declining performance brought about by the disappearance of his 13-year-old son Ricky, now a runaway hiding out in the lowly streets of the south side of town. The Soup tasks Cowboy with taking out Awesome and Scorpion, two high level bad guys, but he soon suspects that the real target is the truth about the suicide of his wife eight years earlier, a horrifying event that Ricky witnessed and resulted in his troubled childhood. Cowboy hid the truth from everyone including himself, but with the mysterious Soup stripping away layer after layer of his defenses, he can no longer conceal his role in her death—nor the impact it had on his son and himself. All is revealed in an explosive ending.

Finding Ricky is not intended exclusively for an older audience, but it would be best appreciated by people who have had the experience of raising children, and also by people who have had the misfortune of growing up in a dysfunctional family. More than anything, it is a story about a spiritual intervention in Cowboy's life—the invisible and seemingly omniscient supervisor serving as a spirit guide not unlike the spirits of past, present, and potential future of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. With Cowboy, the Soup-spirit uses at time exquisite kindness and unconditional love to give him an experience of what he has never known before; at other times he sets Cowboy up for rough treatment intended to break up old patterns. The story works as a psychological thriller, but it is the spiritual interpretation that ties everything together.

296 pages, Paperback

Published August 25, 2024

About the author

Also know as Terrence E. Poppa

Reviews

[Anita Dow · Rating 4 out of 5]

The protagonist of Finding Ricky is Cowboy, an undercover agent working to bring down big money drug barons. Cowboy is not your stereotypical drug-busting cop, and a decent man who can't understand why he's a failure as a husband and father when he works hard and tries to do what's right. But his decency has not prevented his wife committing suicide and his young son being taken into care. The way we learn about this back story is quite cleverly done, mainly through Cowboy's communications with his supervisor, known only as Soup. He is someone Cowboy never sees and only hears speak through a strange phone-like device that only allows incoming calls from the supervisor. Cowboy is unable to contact Soup himself and is confined to a hotel room when not out working with his contacts. The ideas that author Terrence Poppa uses to reveal Cowboy's personal situation and state of mind are inventive, and he describes Cowboy's unusual physical symptoms in a way that makes them very believable.

Some characters in psychological plots behave erratically but as we read this story from Cowboy's perspective, he appears to be consistent, reliable and ethical in his own way – but is he, really? His backstory is unwrapped gradually through the persistent probing of Soup who reluctantly reveals clues to help Cowboy locate his thirteen-year-old son, missing from his care home and surviving on the streets. Author Poppa skilfully describes being inside a troubled mind in a way that seems credible and makes sense. I appreciated the writing style which flows well and is pleasant to read, but the book would have benefited from another proofread. Although the themes of the story naturally didn't leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling, it's an easier read than I expected and I couldn't help but feel empathy for Cowboy, which kept me turning the pages towards the satisfying conclusion. This is not an action, guns and violence story, but more of a slow-burn plot. If you enjoy psychological reads this one is worth your time.

[Tracey Morait · Rating 4 out of 5]

Terrence Poppa’s Finding Ricky is a compelling, psychological crime thriller and dual plot: Cowboy, an undercover agent, with a reputation for getting results, now works for a secret, unknown organisation run by a supervisor (whom he refers to as The Soup), to unmask a drug cartel. That part of the story Cowboy and the reader is comfortable with; he has a job to do, a job he knows he is capable of doing well, and he throws himself into his undercover character. What troubles him, and the reader, is why the Soup, the disembodied, authoritative and demanding presence known only through a phone line, also plays the part of psychologist and counsellor, trying to uncover the reasons behind Cowboy’s uneasy past and troubled marriage. For alongside his official work, Cowboy is on a personal mission: to find out what’s happened to his teenage son Ricky, who’s absconded from his foster home. The Soup wants Cowboy to submit to this intense counselling, to open up about his marriage and his son Ricky. In this way, we learn about Cowboy’s life up until he goes undercover, how, in order to do his job, he neglected his family, his wife’s mental illness, her abuse of Ricky and just why their son became so traumatised as a child.

The use of the unknown supervisor encouraging Cowboy to relate his story is a clever device. Without it, the reader wouldn’t know anything about his past life. The identity of the Soup himself and the organisation is a mystery and the reasons behind the questioning is (at a guess) to ensure Cowboy’s demons are laid to rest so he can focus on his work, but Cowboy is resistant. He has no idea why the Soup seems to care so much about his marriage. All he wants to do is to find Ricky and he believes the Soup is preventing him from doing so. There is also the problem of Cowboy’s vision suddenly starting to fail: what is causing that?

A fascinating read, Finding Ricky is a book with a lot of questions and not many answers, but with psychological thrillers, this adds to the appeal.

[Literary Titan · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Finding Ricky, author Terrence Poppa presents a gripping premise, Would you be willing to expose your innermost thoughts to a mysterious, high-ranking supervisor in order to find your missing 13-year-old son? Could you risk losing your grip on reality to save the boy taken from you after his mother’s tragic suicide? These are the haunting dilemmas Cowboy, the novel’s protagonist, must confront. Set against the backdrop of a life shattered overnight, this psychological thriller delves into Cowboy's desperate quest to locate his son. Under the watchful eye of his enigmatic supervisor, known as The Soup, Cowboy is forced to comply with increasingly difficult demands, including working with a drug dealer named Awesome. Each task completed brings him one step closer to learning more about his son’s whereabouts. However, Cowboy is also battling his own mind. Struggling with blurred vision, headaches, and unsettling hallucinations, he finds it difficult to stay grounded. These symptoms coincidentally—or perhaps not—began after his dealings with The Soup, adding an eerie layer to his unraveling psyche.

The fast-paced storyline keeps readers moving quickly through Cowboy’s journey, making for an exciting read. While the novel leans more toward action than deep psychological exploration, it still offers moments of tension and suspense that engage the reader. One of the highlights is the dynamic between Cowboy and The Soup. The relationship’s evolving complexity and the growing dependence between the two add an interesting layer to the narrative. The glimpses into Cowboy's traumatic past provide emotional depth and make the character’s motivations more relatable. The story moves at a brisk pace, and these elements show promise, suggesting there is much to build on in future works. Finding Ricky delivers an interesting mix of psychological drama and action, offering readers a quick, engaging escape into its world.

[CJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

The right amount of tension
I was grabbed almost instantly by Terrence Poppa’s ‘Finding Ricky’. This novel is rammed full of suspense while giving us a complex consideration of several themes: duty, trauma and redemption, at the very least. Our hero, only identified as “Cowboy”, is an undercover agent in a world of drug barons, navigating both the investigation and his own internal struggles. Cowboy is an incredibly complex individual—he’s not an archetype of a bad-ass cop; instead, he is thoughtful, honourable and torn between his job and its detrimental impact on his personal life. He has lost his wife to suicide and his son Ricky into foster care, leaving him feeling like a failure as a husband and father. As the title suggests, Cowboy wants to be reunited with his son.

‘Finding Ricky’ has an enigmatic second character, “the Soup”, who gives instructions via a one-way phone layer. The Soup was by far my favourite plot device (Bravo!), with probing questions and quasi-psychological manipulation persuading Cowboy to relive painful memories so that we can learn about his backstory. The pace here is spot on, with a slow reveal of the character’s essential characteristics.

Poppa reveals Cowboy’s physical decline slowly at first, demonstrating the price of his internal conflict on his body and mind. His mental distress forms a secondary plotline, which made me think about how reliable his narrative might be and wanting him to find some stability. Cowboy works in a dark underworld but endures a much worse mental landscape. It is these touches that make this novel stand out. ‘Finding Ricky’ has just the right amount of tension but not at the expense of understanding Cowboy’s emotional state. This is a neat thriller that is carefully considered by the author, but the characterisations really make it work.

[Amara Konneh · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gripping and unnerving look into the mind of a damaged undercover agent, Finding Ricky skilfully combines psychological depth, intrigue, and criminality to keep you interested. I thought this book would be a standard crime thriller, but it was actually a much deeper investigation of trauma, identity, and a father's frantic quest to find his missing son. The main character, Cowboy, is a man troubled by his past who tries to reconcile the chaos of his personal life with his perilous work. His enigmatic talks with Soup, a supervisor he can only hear but never speak to, help the story piece together his past. The novel's distinctive storytelling style is among its greatest advantages. The novel's distinctive storytelling style is among its greatest advantages. Cowboy's backstory is expertly revealed gradually, leaving you to doubt his dependability while still supporting him. The author does an excellent job of depicting Cowboy's emotional and physical toll, and the prose flows naturally. The book could have benefited from a second proofread to smooth out any tiny faults, but that does not detract from the overall enjoyment. Would I suggest it? Absolutely, particularly if you like psychological fiction that emphasises internal conflicts over fast-paced action. It is worth reading since it is thought-provoking and emotionally honest.

[Kim Brooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished Finding Ricky, and I have to say, it left a mark on my heart. The story centers on Cowboy and his son, Ricky, and how one terrible mistake tore their lives apart. The book dives deep into their struggles, showing all the pain and effort it takes to try to mend a broken relationship. It’s a touching story about forgiveness, redemption, and the love between a father and son.
I’ll admit, the pacing of the book was pretty slow, especially in the first half. It felt like it took forever for things to get moving, and at times I wanted to hurry Cowboy along. But looking back, I think that slower pace gave me a chance to really feel what the characters were going through. It made their journey more real and heartfelt.
The writing is simple but powerful, and the emotions are raw. By the end, I was completely invested in Cowboy and Ricky’s story. If you’re someone who enjoys stories about family, resilience, and healing, give this one a try. Just be patient—it’s worth sticking with it to see how their journey unfolds. It’s not a face paced thriller, but it’s definitely worth reading.

[Chris Schneider · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Finding Ricky” by Terrence Poppa is a clever and immersive detective thriller. The author is a skilled writer who has crafted a compelling world with interesting and well-developed characters. I thought that the author’s sense of humor added a lot to the narrative. Funny little moments like these helped make the characters more relatable: “I didn’t stay here last night. I don’t stay in s—t holes anymore.” “I never let common sense get in the way of paranoia.” and “Why don’t you just shoot me then if I’m your problem?” This is a good story with some interesting twists and turns! A few dark moments, but I appreciated the gritty realism. This was my favorite moment from the book: “He did not want to think about her. She was buried in the nether regions of his mind and he strove to keep her there. When something triggered memories of her, some train of thought that ending up reminding him of her, or a sound, or a touch, or a taste, he would get angry and push the threating memory away with an outburst…”

[Gill D. Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding Ricky is centred around the main character Cowboy whose role is to bring down some infamous drug lords. Cowboy is a complex character, he is fundamentally a good person, however his roles as a husband and father are compromised when his wife takes her own life, and his son enters the care system. Cowboy's work supervisor (whose code name is 'Soup') communicates with him remotely and through their interactions the reader learns more about the history of Cowboy's family. This is the strength of the author's work as he uses this relationship as a slow burn reveal to provide the back story and the related physical issues that Cowboy experiences.

Soup ends up revealing clues to help Cowboy find his teenage son, who has absconded from his care placement. This novel covers emotive subjects and as such, I'd provide a trigger warning. However it is not an in your face type of narrative, and the plot glides along nicely

[JJ Fisher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding Ricky is a psychological thriller with the soul of a redemption story. Terrence Poppa delivers a gut-punching narrative about grief, guilt, and the illusions we build to protect ourselves from the past.

Cowboy, a hardened undercover agent, isn’t just battling criminals—he’s wrestling with his own fractured mind. The mysterious “Soup” isn’t your typical shadowy handler; he’s more like a ghost dragging Cowboy through a reckoning he’s spent years avoiding. As the layers peel back, we see a man unravel, forced to face the suicide of his wife, the damage inflicted on his son Ricky, and the truth that he’s been running from.

What makes Finding Ricky stand out isn’t just the noir-tinged intrigue or the high-stakes missions—it’s the raw, emotional core. Poppa doesn’t hand out easy resolutions, but he delivers something better: a powerful, deeply human story about confronting the past before it consumes you.

[Matt Mememaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ricky by Terrence Poppa is certainly one wild ride. This is definitely a unique take, taking a deep dive into the mind of the main character, Cowboy. Cowboy is compelling as a main character to say the very least. He reads kind of like a Jack Reacher or an Alex Cross, however Cowboy is as his name suggests is someone that will head out into the wild, leaving those less capable behind.
However, throughout the course of the novel, Cowboy does realise this and in turn must help his son overcome the trauma that is associated with losing someone so close to them.
This is not a story filled with action, guns, and violence. Instead, it is a slow-burn plot that delves into the depths of human psychology. If you enjoy books that focus on the inner workings of the mind, this one is definitely worth taking your time with and being able to enjoy it.

[Kanran · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finding Ricky is first and foremost an expose on the human mind, the psychological wounds that many of us carry, and how they affect generations. What I appreciated the most about this novel is how character psychology is the focal point. It centers around Cowboy’s past and his regrets, which makes for a realistic depiction of his current motivations.

There was a bit too much repetition and I would have liked to see more subtly in the dialogue. I also feel like we missed out on a completion of the “program.” I’m left with questions like, who was the Soup after all? (loved the name for the supervisor btw) Why was the program started? And what made Cowboy special enough to deserve to go through the program in the first place?
The end had a little twist to it, which was a nice payoff but I wanted more shock value too.

[Prateek · Rating 4 out of 5]

The novel may have characters named Cowboy and Awesome, but don't let it fool you. This is far from a children's book. There are some very dark themes, like you know what happens in prison. The theme is psychological fiction and thriller and the writer mostly stays true to the course. No main character is completely devoid of some "flaw", which I like. For instance the agent may be a good person on the outside but his family relationships are complicated.
There are trigger warnings, but nothing that is overwhelming and flows with the story. Sometimes they come out of the blue though.
Overall, worth a read.

[Robin Ginther-Venneri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robin’s Review-Ron

5 Star Rating
2 Skull Dread Rating

Check Your Triggers 😊

"Finding Ricky" by Terrence Poppa is a psychological thriller about Cowboy, an undercover agent who uncovers buried secrets about his wife’s suicide and its impact on his runaway son, Ricky. As Cowboy navigates a surreal and dangerous mission, he must confront the dark truths of his past. This gripping novel is a must-read for fans of suspenseful and psychological fiction. 🔍🕵️‍♂️💔🔥

#BookReview #PsychologicalThriller #Mystery #Suspense #MustRead #PageTurner #Thriller #PsychologicalFiction #IntenseRead

[Mary Coder · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finding Ricky" by Terrence Poppa is a gripping true story of resilience and survival, exploring the desperate search for a kidnapped child across borders. While the narrative is compelling and emotionally charged, at times the pacing feels uneven, making certain sections drag. Poppa's journalistic approach lent credibility to the story, but I would have appreciated a deeper character exploration. It's a solid read for anyone interested in real-life crime and family drama, though it may not satisfy those looking for a more immersive storytelling style.

[Angeli Fitch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had a lot of stakes and surprises and very interesting storyline which was borderline thriller and melodrama. Good character development, would have wanted more vulnerability with the characters but good read overall.

[M.J. Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Finding Ricky" is a unique and compelling story that will keep you turning pages. I've never read anything quite like it. Cowboy is an undercover agent who is tasked with bringing down the world's bad guys. But, in so doing, he is neglecting his own family. His wife has a severe mental illness that is causing her to abuse their son. Cowboy had come from a difficult childhood and was only saved by the kind foster parents that brought him to the ranch and exposed him to the healing power of horses. Haunted by the death and apparent suicide of his wife, he must now save his son from the damage both she, her death, and his long absences on assignment have caused the boy.

It will take you quite a while to figure out what is going on, and some things are left unexplained, but I think you'll enjoy the read.