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Opened
Vulnerable, provocative, and laugh-out-loud honest, OPENED is more than a story about non-monogamy—it’s about what happens when a woman stops asking for permission to want more.
Courtney Boyer was a therapist and relationship coach who spent years teaching others how to communicate, connect, and love. But behind closed doors, her own marriage was suffocating. After years of rejection, loneliness, and shrinking herself to fit the mold of “perfect wife and mother,” she makes a bold, terrifying proposal at her seventeenth wedding What if we opened the marriage?
What begins as a desperate bid to save her relationship becomes a raw, unflinching journey of self-discovery. From deconstructing purity culture to navigating desire, body image, and patriarchy, Courtney’s memoir peels back every layer of conditioning to reveal the woman she was always meant to be.
This isn’t a guidebook. It’s an intimate reckoning with marriage, motherhood, shame, and the price of finally choosing yourself. Courtney’s journey is messy, sexy, and most of all, real. And it just might make you question everything you’ve been taught about what women are allowed to want.
If you’ve ever wondered what it costs to silence your own needs—or what it takes to finally claim them—this book will meet you there. Honest, sensual, and deeply human, this memoir is a rallying cry for anyone who’s ever Is this all there is?
Courtney Boyer was a therapist and relationship coach who spent years teaching others how to communicate, connect, and love. But behind closed doors, her own marriage was suffocating. After years of rejection, loneliness, and shrinking herself to fit the mold of “perfect wife and mother,” she makes a bold, terrifying proposal at her seventeenth wedding What if we opened the marriage?
What begins as a desperate bid to save her relationship becomes a raw, unflinching journey of self-discovery. From deconstructing purity culture to navigating desire, body image, and patriarchy, Courtney’s memoir peels back every layer of conditioning to reveal the woman she was always meant to be.
This isn’t a guidebook. It’s an intimate reckoning with marriage, motherhood, shame, and the price of finally choosing yourself. Courtney’s journey is messy, sexy, and most of all, real. And it just might make you question everything you’ve been taught about what women are allowed to want.
If you’ve ever wondered what it costs to silence your own needs—or what it takes to finally claim them—this book will meet you there. Honest, sensual, and deeply human, this memoir is a rallying cry for anyone who’s ever Is this all there is?
373 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 17, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
March 10, 2026
Real life is messy. Relationships are complicated. We can be who we are meant to be. These are just three of the important points I took from Courtney Boyer's Memoir, "Opened." By laying out her life for all of us to see, she showed us that there is no such thing as a mold for creating the perfect marriage, family or relatioinship.
First, and foremost, I have to commend the writers bravery in even opening her life to us. Polyamory, open relationships and having the desire to find a romantic and intimate connection with others who are not our partners is controversial at best and can brew hatred and condescension at worst. Courtney does this with grace as she gives us her view of a marriage in tatters while helping us see her husband and all the feelings he goes through as well. The importance of a memoir of opening the marriage is remembering to keep the marriage as a central character and Courtney does this admirably.
Second, Courtney is so vulnerable. She is imperfect, and it shows. She loves fast and hard. She expects certain actions and words from the men she is dating, and when they can't provide that for her, she can be hard on them and on herself. She values herself and knows her worth, but the conditioning that created most of her inner dialogue flooded her with doubts not just about herself but about the relationships. By telling us about these doubts, she opened herself up to criticism beyond the controversy of being polyamorous. That's brave!!!
Finally, any memoir about polyamory and opening a marriage will contain a fair amount of sexual content, but Courtney does this better than most others I've read. She tells about the struggles and excitement that comes when making love with new men, but she doesn't go into so much detail that readers are left wondering if they are reading a memoir or the latest smut novel. The sexual content in this book helps move the story forward in a way that shows us the struggles Courtney had, and the elation that could be achieved when communication and desire came into focus.
Overall, I enjoyed Courtney's memoir and recommend it to anyone. Specifically, if you are thinking about opening your marriage or finding out who you are after realizing the systems of the past no longer serve you then give this a try. You might not agree with everything, but I don't think you will walk away saying that it wasn't worth it. If nothing else you will have a lot to think about and a topic of conversation to chat about with your friends.
First, and foremost, I have to commend the writers bravery in even opening her life to us. Polyamory, open relationships and having the desire to find a romantic and intimate connection with others who are not our partners is controversial at best and can brew hatred and condescension at worst. Courtney does this with grace as she gives us her view of a marriage in tatters while helping us see her husband and all the feelings he goes through as well. The importance of a memoir of opening the marriage is remembering to keep the marriage as a central character and Courtney does this admirably.
Second, Courtney is so vulnerable. She is imperfect, and it shows. She loves fast and hard. She expects certain actions and words from the men she is dating, and when they can't provide that for her, she can be hard on them and on herself. She values herself and knows her worth, but the conditioning that created most of her inner dialogue flooded her with doubts not just about herself but about the relationships. By telling us about these doubts, she opened herself up to criticism beyond the controversy of being polyamorous. That's brave!!!
Finally, any memoir about polyamory and opening a marriage will contain a fair amount of sexual content, but Courtney does this better than most others I've read. She tells about the struggles and excitement that comes when making love with new men, but she doesn't go into so much detail that readers are left wondering if they are reading a memoir or the latest smut novel. The sexual content in this book helps move the story forward in a way that shows us the struggles Courtney had, and the elation that could be achieved when communication and desire came into focus.
Overall, I enjoyed Courtney's memoir and recommend it to anyone. Specifically, if you are thinking about opening your marriage or finding out who you are after realizing the systems of the past no longer serve you then give this a try. You might not agree with everything, but I don't think you will walk away saying that it wasn't worth it. If nothing else you will have a lot to think about and a topic of conversation to chat about with your friends.
November 6, 2025
Thank you to the author, Courtney Boyer, for sending me an ARC of her new book.
As someone who grew up in the trenches of purity culture, this book was such an interesting look on how that ideology continues to impact us no matter how much we’ve processed and healed. The constant pressure women are put under to not only be submissive and supportive but to also responsible for men’s stumbling blocks and risks of temptations is astounding. Breaking out from that lie, that culture isn’t easy. And then finding what you truly want for yourself in the world can be doubly as hard.
What this book shows more than anything is that there isn’t one perfect type of relationship. What makes one person happy (such as through monogamy) isn’t what works for someone else (such as polyamory). And that’s okay. The best part of life is that you get to make the rules yourself. As long as the adults in the relationship are consenting and communicating, you find what works for you.
This book is by no means a “how to” guide on opening your marriage. It’s one person’s experience as they share the trials, the tears and the joys of going against the grain and being who they truly are.
There are some hard universal truths throughout the book. How we as women are forced to make ourselves small. How we are told to never put our desires or pleasures first let alone ask for what we want. That we accept the love we think we deserve because good enough is better than being alone.
I thought the book was well done and it leaves you rooting for her in the end. Hoping she finds whatever it is that her happy looks like and reminding you that you get to make your own rules when it comes to finding your happiness.
As someone who grew up in the trenches of purity culture, this book was such an interesting look on how that ideology continues to impact us no matter how much we’ve processed and healed. The constant pressure women are put under to not only be submissive and supportive but to also responsible for men’s stumbling blocks and risks of temptations is astounding. Breaking out from that lie, that culture isn’t easy. And then finding what you truly want for yourself in the world can be doubly as hard.
What this book shows more than anything is that there isn’t one perfect type of relationship. What makes one person happy (such as through monogamy) isn’t what works for someone else (such as polyamory). And that’s okay. The best part of life is that you get to make the rules yourself. As long as the adults in the relationship are consenting and communicating, you find what works for you.
This book is by no means a “how to” guide on opening your marriage. It’s one person’s experience as they share the trials, the tears and the joys of going against the grain and being who they truly are.
There are some hard universal truths throughout the book. How we as women are forced to make ourselves small. How we are told to never put our desires or pleasures first let alone ask for what we want. That we accept the love we think we deserve because good enough is better than being alone.
I thought the book was well done and it leaves you rooting for her in the end. Hoping she finds whatever it is that her happy looks like and reminding you that you get to make your own rules when it comes to finding your happiness.
February 28, 2026
After being raised in purity culture, Courtney Boyer broke free from those limiting beliefs. In her book, she shares intimate details of how she told her truth of being polyamorous to her husband, searched for another partner, and navigated family dynamics. Her book is all about honoring who you are as a person. I enjoyed seeing how she figured out how to make her life work and how she made new rules for herself along the way. Great story!
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews