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The Shattered Mosaic: A father's search for proof in a world of faith
503 pages, Paperback
Published October 16, 2025
About the author
A.W. Schade
3 books11 followers Marine and Vietnam Combat Veteran, former Bank Manager, twenty-eight years in corporate management, and author of Jacob’s inspirational journey; “Looking for God within the Kingdom of Religious Confusion.”
In addition, he wrote two personal stories on PTSD, ‘‘The demons of war are persistent" and "Not alone" — Both are FREE stories to help veterans and families recognize and break the stigma of PTSD. Also, “If I fail, what doom awaits the children,” Suspense, and “The Greatest Father” Satire.
All five stories are included in Schade’s new anthology “anthologyPERCEPTION.”
Schade is married, father of three young men, and received his Business Management degree from Syracuse University. Schade’s stories can be found at my website or Amazon, B&N, Audible.com and more.
In addition, he wrote two personal stories on PTSD, ‘‘The demons of war are persistent" and "Not alone" — Both are FREE stories to help veterans and families recognize and break the stigma of PTSD. Also, “If I fail, what doom awaits the children,” Suspense, and “The Greatest Father” Satire.
All five stories are included in Schade’s new anthology “anthologyPERCEPTION.”
Schade is married, father of three young men, and received his Business Management degree from Syracuse University. Schade’s stories can be found at my website or Amazon, B&N, Audible.com and more.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
February 28, 2026
“Good morning, Sister,” he said. “I’ve been asking questions everywhere I go, and I keep finding more confusion.”
She opened her eyes, calm and luminous. “The answers are not in the questions, my son. They are in silence. God is not argued into existence. He is found when you stop demanding proof.”
—The Shattered Mosaic
For any soul who has lost something precious, those answers rarely feel like enough. At least not for a long, long time. Even to absorb words that are wise and true, the mind must be still… and grief does not offer stillness easily.
True to its title, “The Shattered Mosaic” shatters your thoughts/emotions as it wrestles with faith and the relentless question: ‘Where is God?’ Especially when you truly, desperately need Him. Not for miracles. Not for demands. Only for the smallest mercy: a sign that He exists.
This is a story of Jacob, a father, who searches for God’s presence simply to believe that his nine-year-old daughter, Jessica, is safe after accidental death—somewhere beyond this world, in what we call Heaven. He isn’t trying to bring her back. He isn’t bargaining for the impossible. He just wants assurance that she is okay—held in God’s Kingdom. While everyone processes grief differently (some deeper and longer than others), it’s also true that the living still carry responsibilities that don’t pause for sorrow. Long before Jacob begins looking for answers, Margaret, Jessica’s grandmother, remains the anchor keeping everything from falling apart. In his grief, Jacob steps away from the firm he built, leaving his partner, Tom, to hold everything together alone. Then, slowly, the business begins to fracture under the weight of absence because grief doesn’t only hollow out a heart; it can unravel a life’s work too, and the people left behind.
Across these 303 pages, Jacob leads us through what he discovers, what he can’t, and what faith becomes when it’s scraped down to the bone. For me, this was a story of familiar questions, desperation, and destruction—and the first fragile steps toward self-peace. Anyone who has experienced grief, or stood near it, will recognize themselves here. Maybe even finding their own answers… or at least a measure of peace.
She opened her eyes, calm and luminous. “The answers are not in the questions, my son. They are in silence. God is not argued into existence. He is found when you stop demanding proof.”
—The Shattered Mosaic
For any soul who has lost something precious, those answers rarely feel like enough. At least not for a long, long time. Even to absorb words that are wise and true, the mind must be still… and grief does not offer stillness easily.
True to its title, “The Shattered Mosaic” shatters your thoughts/emotions as it wrestles with faith and the relentless question: ‘Where is God?’ Especially when you truly, desperately need Him. Not for miracles. Not for demands. Only for the smallest mercy: a sign that He exists.
This is a story of Jacob, a father, who searches for God’s presence simply to believe that his nine-year-old daughter, Jessica, is safe after accidental death—somewhere beyond this world, in what we call Heaven. He isn’t trying to bring her back. He isn’t bargaining for the impossible. He just wants assurance that she is okay—held in God’s Kingdom. While everyone processes grief differently (some deeper and longer than others), it’s also true that the living still carry responsibilities that don’t pause for sorrow. Long before Jacob begins looking for answers, Margaret, Jessica’s grandmother, remains the anchor keeping everything from falling apart. In his grief, Jacob steps away from the firm he built, leaving his partner, Tom, to hold everything together alone. Then, slowly, the business begins to fracture under the weight of absence because grief doesn’t only hollow out a heart; it can unravel a life’s work too, and the people left behind.
Across these 303 pages, Jacob leads us through what he discovers, what he can’t, and what faith becomes when it’s scraped down to the bone. For me, this was a story of familiar questions, desperation, and destruction—and the first fragile steps toward self-peace. Anyone who has experienced grief, or stood near it, will recognize themselves here. Maybe even finding their own answers… or at least a measure of peace.
Read
February 22, 2026When we look up at the night sky, so many of those stars have long ago perished. Yet, those illuminations still shine to us thousands or even millions of years later... Jacob Hinsen's quest parallels that of Gilgamesh, five thousand years ago in "The Epic of Gilgamesh"... Why? Where do we go after we seemingly expire on Earth?
Anything worth achieving, there must be a cost. In Jacob's case, that comes in the form of losing his best friend Tom, his business (that he built with Tom), and most importantly the knowledge that his actions were causing others' pain.
Therefore, just as Gilgamesh, Jacob's quest into why his daughter must die, and is there definitive proof of the afterlife that he promised to her, ends just as it began: no human has such divine knowledge. Yet, it's the realization that his daughter does remain with him, through his actions, as she still influences those decisions, as a deceased star still shines to us. Was that realization worth the cost to Jacob?... Perhaps, there's a sequel?
Regardless of what one may think of Jacob and Tom (are they both in their own selfish pursuits?), Margaret shines through. Margaret, Jacob's mother-in-law, Jessica's grandmother, obviously in mourning herself, holds this ship together from sinking: Jacob and his quest, Tom's pursuit to save the business, all the while in her own grieving process.
Anything worth achieving, there must be a cost. In Jacob's case, that comes in the form of losing his best friend Tom, his business (that he built with Tom), and most importantly the knowledge that his actions were causing others' pain.
Therefore, just as Gilgamesh, Jacob's quest into why his daughter must die, and is there definitive proof of the afterlife that he promised to her, ends just as it began: no human has such divine knowledge. Yet, it's the realization that his daughter does remain with him, through his actions, as she still influences those decisions, as a deceased star still shines to us. Was that realization worth the cost to Jacob?... Perhaps, there's a sequel?
Regardless of what one may think of Jacob and Tom (are they both in their own selfish pursuits?), Margaret shines through. Margaret, Jacob's mother-in-law, Jessica's grandmother, obviously in mourning herself, holds this ship together from sinking: Jacob and his quest, Tom's pursuit to save the business, all the while in her own grieving process.
December 14, 2025
A grieving dad embarks on a journey in AW Shade’s novel, The Shattered Mosaic: A father’s search for proof in a world of faith. Behind, he leaves the people he loves, the job, and everything else. Of course, life doesn’t wait for any man, as he immediately realizes. Even so, this man has questions for which he needs fact-based answers. He trots the globe, interviewing and writing in his journals, all the time disappointed because the answers he gets can’t pass his scrutiny. Is he framing his questions wrong? Or some questions don’t have answers, mysteries and are subject to one’s interpretation?
The question of what fate awaits man after death and whether God truly exists are approached from every angle in this book, be it religiously or scientifically. Religiously, Jacob goes to churches and mosques, where he’s assured his dead loved one awaits him in Heaven and that God watches over His creation, knows His people’s pain, such as Jacob’s. Scientifically, Jacob encounters a man on the train, who sits him down and explains death and God in straight, clear terms.
First, as a reader, I’m compelled to appreciate Schade’s work. This book is philosophically, religiously and scientifically rich. Earlier, I had wondered why take readers through 420 pages on a topic that could be answered in a mere page. However, as I read along, I began to see the light: to realize the book I’m holding in my hands is a convergence of ideas, an encyclopedia.
Grief affects us all, at some darkest moments in our lives, and while we’d get back to living at some point, Jacob doesn’t. I followed Jacob’s journey, knowing he’d give up at some point, especially after he received bad news from home and no tangible answers came his way, but Jacob defied the odds. His years as a lawyer make him the ideal person to engage men of the cloth and of science in constructive debate. And there are times when he annoys, because he wants faith to be explained to him as a lawyer would explain a crime in the courtroom, though his hosts are gentle and understanding people. As our protagonist here, I give Jacob a thumbs up.
Still on characters, Father Doyle impressed me. He’s patient, and above all, his friendship with Jacob remains true. I also like Arnold Kellner, a philosophy professor who briefly comes into Jacob’s life but leaves a great impression.
The words of Yasmin al-Khafaji still echo in my head: "You came seeking answers about God and your daughter. I gave you theology. But this hour, this laughter, this connection, perhaps this is the only proof we have that something transcends death. Love creating meaning between strangers."
Sarah’s story is illuminating as it explains why it’s important to hold onto hope even in the face of adversities.
To readers out there, read this book. It doesn’t matter your religion.
The question of what fate awaits man after death and whether God truly exists are approached from every angle in this book, be it religiously or scientifically. Religiously, Jacob goes to churches and mosques, where he’s assured his dead loved one awaits him in Heaven and that God watches over His creation, knows His people’s pain, such as Jacob’s. Scientifically, Jacob encounters a man on the train, who sits him down and explains death and God in straight, clear terms.
First, as a reader, I’m compelled to appreciate Schade’s work. This book is philosophically, religiously and scientifically rich. Earlier, I had wondered why take readers through 420 pages on a topic that could be answered in a mere page. However, as I read along, I began to see the light: to realize the book I’m holding in my hands is a convergence of ideas, an encyclopedia.
Grief affects us all, at some darkest moments in our lives, and while we’d get back to living at some point, Jacob doesn’t. I followed Jacob’s journey, knowing he’d give up at some point, especially after he received bad news from home and no tangible answers came his way, but Jacob defied the odds. His years as a lawyer make him the ideal person to engage men of the cloth and of science in constructive debate. And there are times when he annoys, because he wants faith to be explained to him as a lawyer would explain a crime in the courtroom, though his hosts are gentle and understanding people. As our protagonist here, I give Jacob a thumbs up.
Still on characters, Father Doyle impressed me. He’s patient, and above all, his friendship with Jacob remains true. I also like Arnold Kellner, a philosophy professor who briefly comes into Jacob’s life but leaves a great impression.
The words of Yasmin al-Khafaji still echo in my head: "You came seeking answers about God and your daughter. I gave you theology. But this hour, this laughter, this connection, perhaps this is the only proof we have that something transcends death. Love creating meaning between strangers."
Sarah’s story is illuminating as it explains why it’s important to hold onto hope even in the face of adversities.
To readers out there, read this book. It doesn’t matter your religion.
October 24, 2025
For anyone who has ever truly loved and lost, this book is for you. When your soul needs answers you can't rest. What do we really know for absolute certainty about our belief system? When you no longer except faith without proof. What makes us right and everyone else wrong? Gripping and Thought provoking.
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January 11, 2026Woke up to a #1 Bestseller in Literary Fiction & Agnosticism. Free until tomorrow! I applied 28 years of IBM systems logic to the "mosaic" of my life. Within 24 hours Over 1,400+ people downloaded the story joined the journey this weekend.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews