Some Days I Wish I Was A Cat

by Mica De Leon

It’s a confusing time to be a woman in the Philippines.
On the one hand, Filipino women have been put into positions of power. On the other hand, the expectations are still the same, raised to want and pursue the ultimate Filipina millennial monomyth: marry a man, give birth, buy a 2-bedroom house, and start a family. Any other way invites ridicule or worse, pity.
What’s dating like for a millennial Filipina? Why is Romance such a maligned and antagonistic Literary genre? Why is the power dynamics between men and women during sex never in favor of women?
There are no answers to these questions in this collection of personal essays, only accusations and confessions and a guileless, lingering hope that maybe it can get better for women if they keep fighting for their right to be here—and
be whatever the fuck they want

Genres: Essays, Nonfiction

252 pages, Paperback

First published October 24, 2025

About the author

Mica De Leon is the author of six books published by Penguin Random House SEA. Her first novel, Love on the Second Read, is a rom-com set in the Philippines about two Filipino book editors. She is also the author of the Seedmage Cycle Trilogy books—Winds Of War, Veins Of Power, and Seeds Of Conquest—which is an epic, high fantasy trilogy inspired by Philippine myths and folklore.
She is a Filipino author of swoony romance comedy novels and epic fantasy novels, and she has won the Don Carlos Palanca Awards for Literature in 2019 and 2022 for her essays on romance, feminism, history, fantasy, and the Filipino identity. She is also the Executive Editor of one of the leading publishing houses in the Philippines and has produced over 200 books in her ten years there.
She likes walking on the beach, dogs, cats, swoony and spicy romance novels, epic, sci-fi-fantasy novels, Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere books, Pierce Brown’s Red Rising, and Taylor Swift. She is still trying (and failing) to meet all the impossible deadlines she gave herself five years ago.
Connect with her on Instagram and Tiktok at @micadeleonwrites and on Threads and X at @micadlwrites.

Reviews

[Diane RB (booksandthensome) · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I write this, I have just finished this collection of essays. It is the kind of read you don’t rush and the insights invite contemplation. The timing of this book is perfect for my "reflective era." I am definitely letting these themes simmer so I can reflect on them more deeply later.

As a glimpse, I am sharing a few of the many interesting topics Mica discusses in these essays. The book also reads like a memoir— honest, raw, and vulnerable. It tackles serious and heavy topics, and yet it remains reassuring and empowering throughout.

Mica has navigated pain, hardship, injustice, and trauma. And now, they are living the life they have dreamed of, a life 30 years in the making. And they are just getting started.

Thank you, Mica, for sharing your story and your light. I have noted several inspirations from your words here, and I am taking them to heart. I may be in my 40s, but I am also just getting started. The best is yet to come.

1. On Leaving a Legacy
The author’s dedication to following through on their desire to leave a legacy is truly admirable. You can strongly feel the heart, soul, and immense effort Mica pours into their work. It made me look back at my own thoughts on legacy from my 20s. Now in my 40s, I’m reflecting on how far I have come and how my perspective has shifted.

2. Redefining the "Monomyth"
Mica’s journey of coming to terms with not following the "Filipino Millennial Monomyth" or the traditional path of marriage and parenthood, is so reassuring. While they occasionally reflect on the "what ifs," their pride in their independence is empowering. Having followed that traditional path myself, I found it fascinating to dwell on these reflections from a different perspective.

3. National and personal Identity
Mica explores our shared identity as Filipinos, with frequent reference to National Artist Nick Joaquin. I "hard agree" with their takes on our colonial history and the collective choices we’ve made as a people. Mica uses this national context to better understand their personal identity and this is a discussion I want to sit with longer. After all, I want to leave behind a better country for my child❤️

4. Their writing process
As an avid consumer of romance and fantasy, I loved Mica’s deep dives into their writing process. They introduced me to thought-provoking quotes from authors I know little about. I loved how they called out "literary snobs" and their piece about "trashy" books was on point and so refreshing to read.

5. Living Unapologetically
There is something freeing and cathartic about how Mica shares their life story. Despite the trauma and hardships they have endured (be aware of content warnings), they speak their truth without apology. It is inspiring to see Mica boldly reclaim their narrative.

[Shiandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all, if you want to or will be reading this book, please PLEASE read the trigger warnings on the copyright page.

A book that opened my eyes to the truth about adulthood. It was also a big and loud reminder about how hard it is to be a woman in the Philippines. It is definitely worth reading especially if you have ever felt disrespected and hurt by men and society itself. A book that highlighted so many highs and lows of the author while also giving a peek into the world of publishing she is part of! Worth reading and annotating!

[Hy · Rating 2 out of 5]

A mixed review. Hear me out.

This was my introduction to Mica De Leon’s work. Through reading their essays, I learned that they write romance and modern epic fantasy. As someone who enjoys reading and watching works in these genres, I was interested in what they had to say.

I was immediately hooked by the first two essays. I especially liked the Filipino Millennial Monomyth, which compellingly weaves together insights from their personal experiences as a Filipina millennial and their expertise as an author and book editor in the publishing world. Their arguments were well grounded, branching from lived experience to citations and reflections on other authors’ work. It carried an academic tone that I quite enjoyed, largely because the thesis is clear.

Unfortunately, everything that followed after the first two essays lost me. I recognize that sharing personal experiences, especially intimate details about relationships and romance, can be cathartic. I do not want to sound dismissive of the author’s experience of womanhood. However, many sections are dedicated to these personal ruminations without offering much room for synthesis or redemption.

I understand that these essays have gone through several rounds of rewriting and editing, as is standard in publishing, yet I struggled to grasp the point they were ultimately trying to make. Many of the arguments seem to stem from incomplete thoughts, leaving you without a clear throughline.

The Audacity of Romance, in particular, leads you into repetitive and circular reasoning. While personal experiences are shared, they fail to connect meaningfully to a broader social reality. Again, these reflections may be cathartic to write, but my concern lies with the form. At several points, I felt only discomfort, with no clear culmination or takeaway. Is it about female victimhood? The complexity of female desire? I genuinely cannot tell.

I am not suggesting that authors should be constrained in how they share or make sense of their perspectives. However, essays demand more and require a higher level of discourse that should push beyond the personal.

I also recognize my positionality as a Gen Z Filipina reader, and at times I caught myself thinking, “Girl, you’re too old to be saying all that.” For example, the author critiques how women’s language is used against them, particularly in the author’s intimacies with men. I did not resonate with this perspective. Perhaps this reflects a generational difference in how millennial women exercise agency within their relationships.

I was completely lost when it came to the author’s statements about feminism in a series of what felt like poorly reasoned takes.

I understand the author’s anger at the patriarchy and their rejection of girlboss feminism. However, statements such as “Feminism is just a gender-specific version of equality of human beings” significantly diminish what the feminist movement has historically accomplished. What does it mean to ask, “What can feminism do if survival is the problem?” This strikes as a very reactionary belief. Are we also forgetting that feminist movements in the Philippines have long centered on issues such as proper compensation for the informal labor of women? The very reason you occupy your current salary grade is because of feminist struggle.

The author may possibly share sentiments with radical feminists, yet they choose not to engage with genuine feminist texts. Instead, they cite figures like Ali Wong and Emma Watson. At that point, it feels as though the argument needs to return to the drawing board.

The author also states that they do not identify as a feminist but does identify as queer. Yet earlier in the book, they argue that queer voices need to take up space. The contradiction in their positions is never meaningfully addressed.

These takes really saddened me. I had so much hope for this book and the lack of well-founded critical thought disappointed me, setting the tone for how I interpreted the essays that followed.

This was a difficult read.

[Pamela · Rating 4 out of 5]

this felt like reading ms. mica's diary and can served as her love letters as being a grown up sister we never had

i did struggled a bit reading this one bc (1) it resonates so much i had to process something deep—it just interrupt my peace (2) there was a lot of mentioning how PH sucks—which are the least i want to read as of the moment (maybe the right time will come soon and pick up this book again!)

[Paula M · Rating 4 out of 5]

you can also read my review here!

I Wish I Was a Cat by Mica De Leon is a book that speaks from a place many women know all too well.

In a world where women, especially Asian women, are expected to be quiet, agreeable, and endlessly available for consumption, this collection refuses silence. The essays push back against the constant questioning about marriage, dating, and worth, questions that have followed women for generations.

There is deep appreciation for how this book opens conversations that are often brushed aside. Owning female sexuality is explored with honesty rather than apology. The complicated relationship between daughter and mother is written with tenderness and truth.

Some readers may find certain essays repetitive in theme or tone, but that repetition feels intentional rather than careless. When experiences continue to repeat in real life, storytelling is allowed to echo.

One of the strongest parts of this book is the insight into publishing and storytelling, especially stories born from spaces many are quick to dismiss. The conversation around Wattpad books feels affirming and necessary.

“In fact, we should stop calling them “trash books.” A book is a book is a book is a book. Just as every book is different, every person is different, too. And books will always find readers who would appreciate the stories it holds within.”

That passage alone carries so much respect for readers and writers alike, especially those who found comfort in stories others were quick to judge.

The thoughts shared here feel unfiltered and intentional, even when uncomfortable. There are moments that feel heavy, moments that feel validating, and moments that invite pause rather than agreement. That balance gives the book its weight.

With all the hardships women continue to face, there are days when the wish is simple. Some days, the wish is to just be a cat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is Mica De Leon in the rawest form. As a woman, if anger has not arrived yet, maybe Mica De Leon will convince you to be. I said this before, but I’ll say it again: To read this book is get to know Mica De Leon, and trust me, Mica is worth knowing.

[Content warning for domestic violence, verbal abuse, and sexual abuse.]

[Joalan Loraine · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5
* Unapologetically real
* At times it’s full of angst but most of the time it’s truly heartfelt
These are my two thoughts as I was reading the book. I found myself closing the book, taking a pause for a couple of days since some parts are heavy but then again picking it up and reading it again. The type of story telling that keeps you hooked, it’s raw and it’s 100% real.

Some days I wish I was a cat is a compilation of essays from Mica De Leon’s experience, struggles and at times felt like a love letter to her readers and herself. It’s takes a lot of courage to be this vulnerable, it showed us how women in our society suffered so much & how as a woman in this country we are still struggling and finding our voices. Some chapters made me realize how brutally painful what Mica has gone through and wish I could hug her as a thank you for being here, for bringing all these stories and sharing them to us.

It’s not the type of non fiction you would expect, I myself didn’t expect anything like this but at the end of the day, all that was written or said in the book is true, I didn’t experience most of it but I know some woman had, no judgement in that. Mica’s age is not far with me, I’m older than her and her worries are some of my worries too.

Here are some of the lines I highlighted that struck me the most:

“I am trophy all right. I’m my own trophy”

“Just as every book is different, every person is different, too. And books will always find readers who would appreciate the stories it holds within”

“Time is relative whether you’re waiting or moving, but life isn’t. It moves and moves and moves until there’s no more moving left”

[kyra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mica’s newest release is a collection of essays unfolding and baring the real and unfiltered experiences of women. It’s a cruel world out there for a “strong, independent woman”, especially when viewed through society’s expectations — the ‘Filipina Millennial Monomyth.’

Still single in your 30s? Getting ridiculed for reading romance & Wattpad books? Questioned because of your life choices? Always in the losing end of power dynamics? Working to the bone and yet still not secure financially? — she sees you. In this nonfic, feel the anger and frustration seep through the pages. Mica ensures and assures you that she knows what you’re going through and that you aren’t alone in feeling them.

Thinking about it more deeply, cats are more often independent, prefers solitude, and explores the world freely (only to come back home when it’s eating or sleeping time) — a total opposite to what a woman “should” be.

It’s a tiring life to be constantly thinking and overthinking. If you know me personally, you’d know I’m not fond of cats. Most days I’d wish I was a dog. But just this once, If being a cat means independence, while also getting spoiled with treats, toys, cuddles, and life insurance… then let me raise a white flag, I’ll be swayed from my stance and wish I was a cat instead.

[Bana AZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Why are we so used to the idea that women's joy is less valuable than men's?"

Synopsis:
This is a collection of essays about being a millennial Filipina. It covers topics on writing, dating, sex and expectations. Content warning for domestic violence, verbal and sexual abuse.

Thoughts:
Woah.

This book is so honest and raw. I can feel the emotions poured into every word. The anger, the fear, the insecurities, the lust, the rage! But also glimpses of hope here and there. This felt like reading a private journal and I am in awe of the author for baring their soul on the page.

I found myself nodding along to the many points about the unfair expectations set on women, especially Filipinas. I felt less alone knowing that badass women are out there paving their own way.

There are so many things to like about this book, and very few dislikes. For me, there were some statements or phrases that were repetitive. Though this could be less noticeable if readers didn't binge-read the book and just read a few essays at a time instead. Another was one page ranting about a goodreads review someone had of another of their books. It's just a no-no for me.

Overall, this was such a powerful read, and I am so looking forward to reading more from this author. So far I've only read Love on the Second Read. I'm picking up Winds of War next.

How I found out about this:
I am part of the street team for this book. I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

--
Other quotes I like:
"At the end of the day, I do not write for attention. I write to create the legacy that I would miss out on by choosing not to have children." -- I heard somewhere that to have a legacy, either have a child, plant a tree, or write a book. I think writing a book really will let you leave something of yourself after you're gone that's way different from having a child or planting a tree. Writing a book lets you talk to those in the future, even if it is one-sided.

"Because that is what fantasy is. That is what fiction is. A lie you're willing to believe." -- About the importance of fiction. Genre fiction.

"Privilege blinds us to the ways we oppress others." -- About unfairness and not even being aware of it.

[Redg · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mica de Leon bares it all in this collection of essays. Not to take away from her vulnerability and honesty in this book, I found this a very difficult and sometimes frustrating read.

The essays were written at different points of the author’s life, which was obvious from the repetitive references she makes about her life: the marriage proposals she rejected, her frustration and regret with not having children, her dating life, and the xx number of books she wrote or would have written by 2025. It doesn’t work as a collection of essays because of how redundant it all reads. By the third time of her dating misadventures, you already kind of get the point she’s trying to make.

Despite repeated references to the same things, the thesis statement in some essays was still not clear enough. I was especially confused with the point she was trying to make with The Audacity of Romance. Is it a defense of the genre? A cry of frustration against society? The arguments she presented about feminism were so shallow and I expected a better take from a millennial. There is so much more to feminism as depicted in the Barbie monologue. Whatever happened to intersectional feminism? I finished that essay feeling so confused, frustrated, and disappointed.

In a way, the book delivered on its promise. The blurb reads: “There are no answers to these questions […], only accusations and confessions […]” It’s like reading someone’s journal or disjointed, emotional tirades. I guess I can see how someone young would benefit from reading this book, but this book isn’t for me. What it did succeed in doing, though, is making me curious about her fictional novels. Maybe that will be more to my taste.

[Tess Blanch · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a collection of personal essays about the author’s experiences throughout their young life - the triumphs, the successes, the injustices, the advances, the violations. It talks about identity, as an author, aspect of being a woman and the supposedly Filipino monolith, datings and relationships. I applaud Mica for baring their all. It is not an easy thing to do, I might not even be able to do half of what they said in their book. And I love them for being brutally honest, for the unfiltered truth, the rawness and the vulnerability all for everybody to see.

This is not an easy read, nor something you binge read. I took my time in reading this and take lots of breaks in between. There are happy, proud moments but there are also uncomfortable moments. You can feel the anger, rage, hurt, betrayal, despite the proud and shining moments of Mica’s life as an author and as a woman.

So many things are going in my mind while reading this and even after. I even think of my current life, of how I get to where I am right now. Life is definitely not fair and I empathize with Mica with everything that has happened to them. There are no set guidelines on how and when to grieve, when to move on and not look back. The men in our society and in the world in general had an easy time compared to women since time immemorial, but who says men should have all the fun. We women just know how to adapt well, multi-task better, listened honestly, be invisible and invincible, we are already half of the world’s population. When life is defined by sets of rules and traditions one must follow and abide or forever be shunned away, it will be hard to break. But when you do, it will so damn worth it. And that what’s Mica does!


Rating 3.5

[neatenslovebooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some Days I Wish I Was a Cat is a reflective and often intimate collection of essays that explores rest, longing, identity, and the quiet exhaustion of modern life. Mica’s writing feels conversational and accessible, making many of the pieces easy to relate to especially for readers who find themselves yearning for simplicity, softness, or a pause from constant striving.

The book is undeniably thought-provoking. It invites readers to sit with discomfort, question productivity culture, and examine personal desires in a gentle, almost confessional way. Some essays linger long after reading, prompting self-reflection rather than offering neat conclusions.

However, one aspect that felt distracting was the author’s tendency to name-drop other writers in a way that comes across as subtly diminishing them. As a fellow author herself, this choice felt unnecessary. The essays would have been stronger had they focused solely on her own perspective and lived experience, without placing others in an unfavorable light to make a point. I would have appreciated a deeper exploration of her ideas on their own merit, without comparison or critique of specific individuals.

Overall, the book succeeds in sparking reflection and emotional resonance, even if some stylistic choices may not sit well with all readers. It’s a meaningful read for those drawn to quiet introspection, but it also leaves room to wish for a more gracious and self-contained approach to personal storytelling.

[Wilfred Sy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my first time ever reading a non-fiction book and IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. It really hit the spots where it should.

I never felt this relatable while reading a book before. This book shows how being a Filipina has been treated over the past few years. It shows vulnerability, which at some point defies norms, especially in writing a commentary on how the Philippines is socio-politically. Reading it felt very personal, like I was listening to someone think out loud, yet it still reflected what many of us experience.

Even though the book is purely from Ms. Mica’s thoughts, their story is still very relatable. Even as a man (how ironic of that), I found myself relating to most of their essays in this book (and yes, I also love Jolly Spaghetti!). It made me realize that feelings, struggles, and small joys are shared, regardless of gender.

I hope there are more Filipino non-fiction books like this—raw, relatable, and engaging, especially for us Gen Zs who are still trying to grasp this world. It may be Ms. Mica’s thoughts that were unearthed and compiled into one book, but while reading it, it felt like some of those thoughts were mine too.

[Aly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book. It's a non fic story which involves the life and experiences of the author, which btw, really shocked me a lot.

I would have to say that whatever she experienced in this book, is how society really views and treats women. It's very relatable if you think about it. I mean, I relate to some extent of her experience, but it is the reality that we cannot conceal and deny.

It felt like even though the society is evolving, the way they think or their perspective of a woman, didn't evolve much as the way society thinks of women before. I mean yes, women now has some rights as compared to the old times, but still the picture of a woman in a man's or society's eyes is that they should be behave and must act the way their man should dictate them to be.

"The stuff Jane Austen put on paper about what women wanted spoke just as much as the ones she didn't." - Mica De Leon.

"It's dehumanizing to be a woman. Period." - Mica De Leon.

[hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was like reading an ate (elder sister)’s journal about life, love, friendship, family, and being Filipina. There’s so many things I can relate to and so many experiences that felt shared. Some days, like the author, I think about the choices I’m making as a woman and as an eldest daughter in a Filipino household. Some days I wish I was a cat, too.

[Glenda]

DNF @155/234