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Rob Gronkowski Erotica #1
A Gronking to Remember
Leigh has a serious problem. And it’s driving a “spike” between her and her husband Dan. When Leigh wanders into the room where her husband and his friends are watching a football game, her life changes forever, because at that exact moment, NFL’s one-man wrecking ball, Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots, scores a touchdown and does his patented “Gronk Spike”—his notorious monster smashing of a football. When the ball shoots into the stratosphere, Leigh’s heart goes apitter-patter and she becomes seriously turned on. Now normally-sheepish Leigh can’t stop thinking about it. She’d never given a second thought to football, but now the primal power of the Gronk Spike, and this raw monster of a man, Rob Gronkowski, is all that she wants, and she’ll stop at nothing until the romance of a lifetime is hers! Find out the lengths people will go to fulfill their fantasies in this super-sexy, sex-filled story of wanton lust with a super-sexy, sex-filled happy ending. If you read one book about Rob Gronkowski this year, make it “Growing Up Gronk.” But if you read two books about Rob Gronkowski this year, make the second one “A Gronking to Remember!” Contains some sexually graphic scenes as well as the misuse of American footballs that will leave you wet, hard and everything in between. Sports!
80 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 24, 2014
16 people are currently reading
87 people want to read
About the author
Lacey Noonan
20 books27 followersWell, let me tell you about good ol’ Lacey Noonan.
She lives on the East Coast with her husband and crazy, cuddly dog. When not sailing, sampling fine whiskeys or making veggie tacos, she loves to read and write steamy, strange, silly, psychological and sexy stories. She revels in a good turn of phrase and a good crack of the whip.
In her vanilla life, she is a web designer and developer.
She lives on the East Coast with her husband and crazy, cuddly dog. When not sailing, sampling fine whiskeys or making veggie tacos, she loves to read and write steamy, strange, silly, psychological and sexy stories. She revels in a good turn of phrase and a good crack of the whip.
In her vanilla life, she is a web designer and developer.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
December 7, 2022
I only read this because my friends threatened to kick me out of the circle if I didn’t read it. This is the most ridiculous book ever
February 13, 2015
There are no words for how bad this book is. Goodreads should allow a 0 star rating. Leaving it unrated is not enough, I want to acknowledge that I read it and gave it 0 out of 5 stars. I am glad a friend purchased this for all of us to enjoy, but as I say at the end of the post the ONLY way I would recommend it is if you can get it for free and to read it as an example of what not to do in any sort of writing situation.
From the premise to the writing there is little, if anything, redeeming about the book.* I knew going into it that it would have no literary merit, but I hoped it would be written well and if not at least contain decent erotica. It was not and it did not. And this has nothing to do with the lack of gay subject matter, because that already exists.
Click here to continue reading, and find out what the pesky * refers to, on my blog The Oddness of Moving Things.
From the premise to the writing there is little, if anything, redeeming about the book.* I knew going into it that it would have no literary merit, but I hoped it would be written well and if not at least contain decent erotica. It was not and it did not. And this has nothing to do with the lack of gay subject matter, because that already exists.
Click here to continue reading, and find out what the pesky * refers to, on my blog The Oddness of Moving Things.
July 30, 2017
The greatest work of fiction every committed to paper. Once you go Gronky, you're bound to walk wonky. I would recommend this to everyone with an appreciation for the written word, but especially your grandmother.
youre-on-my-shit-list
June 15, 2017http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/e...
Keep it classy y'all.
Keep it classy y'all.
July 21, 2015
I dare anyone to get through the first page of this book without laughing. Seriously, this was hilarious.
January 27, 2019
Sweet Mary Mother of God! What in the hell did I just read?!?! In all honesty, I did this to myself. No one made me read this. With the Superbowl looming next weekend I though I would read some NFL erotica. I'm no Patriots fan, but despite my best searching, I could not find any Rams erotica, so I settled on this...
Despite the title, this is not a book that focuses on hot, sweaty Gronk sex. Disappointing... This short little erotica instead focuses on one lonely housewife's intense turn-on for all things Gronk. Unable to control herself she flies into masturbation at the first hint of a Gronk pass. When he spikes the ball, climax central. Her marriage is just meh so she focuses on the pleasures of watching Gronk and getting horny. She quickly spirals out of control causing her husband to leave after she tries forcing herself on him when he's drunk, telling him to "fuck her like's he's Gronk." He drunkenly runs away and immediately crashes his car. They later decide to try and save their marriage. He takes her to a Patriots game and the book ends on a truly fucking weird note. Like, you need to read it. I can't relive that last scene. Fucking bizarre. Pardon my language, but my god. This book is something else. Read at your own peril.
Despite the title, this is not a book that focuses on hot, sweaty Gronk sex. Disappointing... This short little erotica instead focuses on one lonely housewife's intense turn-on for all things Gronk. Unable to control herself she flies into masturbation at the first hint of a Gronk pass. When he spikes the ball, climax central. Her marriage is just meh so she focuses on the pleasures of watching Gronk and getting horny. She quickly spirals out of control causing her husband to leave after she tries forcing herself on him when he's drunk, telling him to "fuck her like's he's Gronk." He drunkenly runs away and immediately crashes his car. They later decide to try and save their marriage. He takes her to a Patriots game and the book ends on a truly fucking weird note. Like, you need to read it. I can't relive that last scene. Fucking bizarre. Pardon my language, but my god. This book is something else. Read at your own peril.
April 5, 2023
My daughters gave me this for a laugh because I am a lifelong Patriots fam. Unfortunately, the main character of this book is a horrible stereotype of women not watching, understanding, or caring about the sport. It was just weird.
Read
December 5, 2022Good lord… but I laughed the whole time 😂. This is un-ratable.
March 30, 2015
Okay I had to read this once I read about it. And I knew it was going to be bad. But I just had to.
And it was sexist drivel. Leigh starts questioning women who like sports on page 2, so I hated her from the beginning. She has this fixation on the idea that women don't actually like or know anything about sports, and that makes me so mad. Especially coming from a woman. (Semi-irrelevant, but I have encountered way more men that fake sports knowledge than women that fake sports knowledge). Leigh was like a self-insert Mary Sue, but a really awful one. Dan was also the worst. They were both just the worst, and their relationship was so unhealthy.
Also just everything about the writing and the plot (or what semblance of a plot there was) was ridiculous.
I expected this to be funny, but there's just no way I could get past Leigh being such a brat about women who watch sports. And I don't even feel that bad about writing a mean review because of that.
And it was sexist drivel. Leigh starts questioning women who like sports on page 2, so I hated her from the beginning. She has this fixation on the idea that women don't actually like or know anything about sports, and that makes me so mad. Especially coming from a woman. (Semi-irrelevant, but I have encountered way more men that fake sports knowledge than women that fake sports knowledge). Leigh was like a self-insert Mary Sue, but a really awful one. Dan was also the worst. They were both just the worst, and their relationship was so unhealthy.
Also just everything about the writing and the plot (or what semblance of a plot there was) was ridiculous.
I expected this to be funny, but there's just no way I could get past Leigh being such a brat about women who watch sports. And I don't even feel that bad about writing a mean review because of that.
October 15, 2024
I could think of no better way to kick off Garbaugust. There is also no possible way to review this. It’s erotica about Gronk. I admit it was way funnier than I expected. But at the end of the day, it’s 70 pages of a woman fantasizing about Gronk. And graphic. So if that sounds like a fun diversion, enjoy.
I’m tempted to give this five stars because honestly, what exactly were you expecting from Gronk erotica?
Here’s a dramatic reading from Gronk himself:
https://youtu.be/TnXAkEnt5fA
I’m tempted to give this five stars because honestly, what exactly were you expecting from Gronk erotica?
Here’s a dramatic reading from Gronk himself:
https://youtu.be/TnXAkEnt5fA
January 19, 2015
Quite the interesting premise, just wasn't executed well. The three stars is because it's worth reading for the conversations that you'll have with your friends; don't expect Shakespeare (or even 50 Shades).
January 19, 2015
I love Rob Gronkowski and had so much hope for this book. who wouldn't want this t be good? Unfortunately the author is nearly illiterate. I could feel myself getting stupider as I read... Even so, there were a few HILARIOUS lines!
January 26, 2015
I'm a lady and a fancy lady at that! But I really enjoyed this book. Did it make me masturbate? A lady doesn't discuss such things!
I will say that I found it good fun. And I read it in the bathtub in a sensual manner.
I will say that I found it good fun. And I read it in the bathtub in a sensual manner.
January 7, 2015
An inspiringly bizarre premise and the occasional line of magnificently bonkers prose suggest promise for the author. But the book itself fails to really take off into every line insanity.
January 17, 2015
All I will say is I laughed my ass off!!
January 20, 2015
A quick, very strange read. If she was trying to be taken seriously, epic fail. If she was going for satire, spot on.
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January 21, 2015LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL WTAF
IT'S A LADY'S LOLZY KINDLE PORN.
IT'S A LADY'S LOLZY KINDLE PORN.
March 7, 2015
the best $2.50 i've ever spent
August 16, 2015
Just a mess. I know.....very expected, but as a football fan (and a Gronk fan) I thought it would be good for a yuck. Embarassing!
December 24, 2017
Lol thanks to my secret Santa I really will have a gronking to remember
February 18, 2015
This was so bad and so ridiculous, and it made for the best lunch break I've ever had.
Read
December 20, 2018Hilarious. Not sure whether it deserves one star or five stars. Look at the Goodreads ratings; they are a perfect inverse bell curve.
Is it well-written? No.
Is it compelling? No.
Are the characters realistic? No.
Does the author seem to like or respect women? No.
Is it fun to read? Absolutely.
I didn’t find any solid evidence to convince me that the author is a woman. Didn’t find any telltale evidence that the author is a man, either. My theory is that is book is the product of feeding other fanfic and romance into a computer and asking it to write its own novel. Then somebody cleaned up the grammar a little (but not too much, averaging two completely unintelligible sentences per chapter) and did a “find and replace” to add in references to Gronk.
Not recommended for those under 18... or for anyone, really.
Is it well-written? No.
Is it compelling? No.
Are the characters realistic? No.
Does the author seem to like or respect women? No.
Is it fun to read? Absolutely.
I didn’t find any solid evidence to convince me that the author is a woman. Didn’t find any telltale evidence that the author is a man, either. My theory is that is book is the product of feeding other fanfic and romance into a computer and asking it to write its own novel. Then somebody cleaned up the grammar a little (but not too much, averaging two completely unintelligible sentences per chapter) and did a “find and replace” to add in references to Gronk.
Not recommended for those under 18... or for anyone, really.
April 18, 2023
Upon research this novel is written by a man using a female pen name. I do not believe the author has any experience with the female form and how it works sexually. While this book is supposed to be erotica, a quote from the show The Great comes to mind: “When I look at you, I go dry. Like sand.” The one redeeming quality is that the descriptions were so bad they were absolutely hilarious.
March 16, 2019
ohmybuddha!!! I freaking loved this short read. It was hilarious. The gems like: "brushes aside his loincloth and then out comes his stone pillar of a cock" "yarnia" "i have my royal orgasm". I especially loved it when the author inserted herself in the book.
September 4, 2017
Ha! Hysterical quick read.
January 2, 2019
If you love masterbation and football, this book is for you!
September 6, 2019
Hot...Real Hot!!!
June 2, 2020
I did not enjoy this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 13, 2023
Pathetic book. Terrible writing.
March 28, 2023
57 pages of something I thought was going to be funny turned entirely too serious, which then ended on the most bizarre note.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews