Likeable: How I Broke Free From The Need To Please

by Fearne Cotton

Brought to you by Penguin.

Do you worry about what other people think of you? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why?

For too long, our value and self-worth has been tied to pleasing others. We've dimmed our true selves to fit in – no matter the cost. But there's always a cost. People-pleasing and staying likeable means suppressing our feelings, words, actions, and desires, and there's only so much we can conceal before it all unravels.

Throughout my life, I've morphed into who others needed me to be, taken on too much responsibility for other people’s sh*t, put myself down, and stayed quiet – all in the hope of being liked. But no more. Now, I'm What do I want? … And do I even like myself?

This book holds a light up to all the times I wish I’d broken free of the worry cycle, said goodbye to the ‘good girl’ attitude, and put happiness first. I wrote it so you can do the same. You can't please everyone. So let's stop trying.

Fearne x

© Fearne Cotton 2026 (P) Penguin Audio 2026

Genres: Nonfiction

Audible Audio

Published March 12, 2026

About the author

Fearne has been presenting live TV since the age of 15 when she was spotted by ITV’s ‘Disney Club’.

Her warmth, natural interview skills and ability to make presenting live TV seem effortless and has given her the opportunity to present a variety of shows over the years.

Fearne is currently back in her role as team captain on the 16th series of Celebrity Juice, a show that continues to be a ratings winner for ITV2. Other shows include Children in Need Rocks, The Happiness Project, Fearne & Gok: Off The Rails, The BBC Music Awards, Top of the Pops with Reggie Yates, ‘Fearne and McBusted’ and a Coldplay special for Sky Arts amongst many others.

In addition to TV Fearne is hugely credible in the music genre. In 2005 she joined Radio 1 where she spent 10 incredible years, initially co-hosting morning shows with Reggie Yates and then moving onto the UK Top 40 show before taking over the prestigious weekday morning slot in 2009; here she mixed big celebrity interviews with exclusive acoustic performances in the Live Lounge. The show attracted over 4 million listeners and in 2012 she won a Sony Gold Award for the show.

Alongside TV & Radio Fearne is incredibly creative and has designed several seasons of a home wear range for very.co.uk, curated 13 seasons of her own very.co.uk clothing range and previously released her own make-up and toiletry ranges for Boots. Fearne currently enjoys working alongside Cath Kidston and Garnier Olia and is also a brand ambassador for BaByliss, where she creates a series of ‘Get the Look’ videos and tutorials, recreating her go-to styles using BaByliss tools.

In social media, Fearne has over 7 million Twitter followers and a combined Facebook and Instagram following of over 2.2 million with live, innovative content around her programming and off-air projects, ranking her amongst the world’s top 250 most influential Tweeters.

An enthusiastic cook, Fearne released her first cookbook in June 2016: Cook Happy, Cook Health. Her next book, Happy, talks about her own experiences of happiness (including some of the not-so-happy ones), and was published February 2017. Fearne's third book, Cook. Eat. Love, was published in June 2017.

Work aside, Fearne is a mother of 2 and continues to find time to support a range of charities with seemingly no challenge too big for her, whether it be climbing Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief, or trekking the Inca Trail for Breast Cancer Care. Fearne is an ambassador for The Prince’s Trust and also a patron for Post Pals, Tyler’s Trust and Coppafeel!, the latter of which she curates the charity’s music festival, FESTIFEEL.

Reviews

[Lisa Yiasemides · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️ 4.5 rounded up

This was a really interesting read, sitting somewhere between a self-help book and a memoir.

Fearne Cotton has spent all of her adult life in the public eye and has had more experience of being watched, judged, and analysed than most of us.

The result of years of therapy and reflection have culminated in what I found to be an honest, open account of some of the toughest parts of her life, combined with what she has learned along the way.

The chapter titles are inspired, including 'Would you like me if...I behave' and 'Would you like me if... I'm perfect.'

The book highlights how often we squash ourselves down to please others, and includes some tangible ways we can challenge long-established thought processes.

I really appreciated the tone, which felt like an encouraging big sister come mentor, and I could practically hear Fearne egging me on to be happier and more fulfilled.

Yes, I am the target market for this book, and this will definitely hit the mark more for women who grew up in the 90s and 2000s, but there's a lot of really positive takeaways that will resonate more widely.

Thank you to NetGalley, Fearne Cotton, and Ebury Publishing for this advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Jennifer Mary Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Utterly brilliant!!

[the love of books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fearne Cottons “Likeable” has impacted me more than I ever thought it would. Let’s get it clear, this is not a typical “self help” book. This is a book that never crosses the line into preaching and guides you into discovering things about yourself, Cotton does this by presenting the reader with questions she has clearly asked herself. Fearne Cotton in no way claims to be a therapist, in fact she explicitly refutes this, but after reading “Likeable” I felt as if I had a gruelling (yet highly effective) course of therapy.

It was during the introduction that I knew this book was going to change me. As a serial people pleaser (my NY resolution this year is to change that!) I connected with EVERYTHING she wrote within that introduction. I went into the rest of the book filled with gentle curiosity and a little fearful for the hard hitting truths I was going to have to face. I feel like the journey this book takes you on perfectly balances the firm hand you need for a push, and the gentle coaxing needed to get through the difficult realisations about yourself.

This will 100% be a reread for me on my journey to stop people pleasing, whether that’s certain chapters or the entire book. I strongly recommend this book to all women, especially those who can’t seem to stop sacrificing themselves for other people’s happiness.

I received this E-book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. In this memoir, Fearne shares candidly how she worked on herself to stop pleasing others and start putting herself first. Something that is counter-intuitive to most women of our generation.

It was an enjoyable read, with Fearne sharing examples of how she had been a people pleaser in the past, and how she tackles similar issues now, with the moments that changed her. In her books and podcast, she is very open about how she was not living congruently with her values earlier in her career and how that impacted her mental and physical health.

I'm a big fan of Fearne's. I've loved her previous books and this one didn't disappoint. It was very readable and relatable. I was expecting more of a self-help book but I actually think this memoir format was much more impactful.

Thanks to Fearne Cotton, Ebury / Penguin Random House and NetGalley for this ARC in return for an honest review.

[Kate Henderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

**Listened to the audio book**

Pre-ordered this book and was super excited to listen to it - I really enjoy Fearne Cotton's non-fiction (much more than her fiction) and I especially enjoy listening to her books on audio as she narrates them, so feels like an extended version of her podcasts.
This is a topic I really struggle with, and am constantly talking about external validation with my own therapist. I found Cotton's own anecdotes and personal situations really informative. I liked how she mixed facts, stats, and life stories together.
I'm not sure how informative it really was for me personally, as I am working through my own issues around this - but there were certainly some interesting points that really made me think.
Like with a lot of Fearne Cottons non fiction - I just wanted this book to be longer - I would have loved some more info on the science/psychology of it all.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 ⭐️

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC copy.

Likeable had a really nostalgic feel to it and, at times, almost read like a light autobiography. Fearne reflects a lot on growing up, friendships, confidence, and the pressures of trying to fit in. It definitely leans into that warm, reflective “looking back” tone, which at times I enjoyed.

That said, it did feel a bit repetitive in places and I wasn’t always sure what the book wanted to be. It’s not quite self-help, but it sits very close to that space, so at times it felt like it circled the same ideas about likability and people-pleasing without adding much new. Overall it was an easy, comforting read with some thoughtful moments, but it didn’t fully stick with me once I’d finished.

[Alexandra Joy Lloyd · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book by Fearne Cotton. I think Likeable is a very important book to read as a woman in today's age of social media, misogyny and just the general messages we tell ourselves and hear in the media. I want all my female friends to read it and everyone I know,  I saw so much of myself and people I know in these pages. I love the positive message of the book and think there's some really useful things in here. I think Fearne was incredibly brave writing this book and it was one with a message we needed to hear now more than ever. It brings me back to that old saying how can you love someone else,  if you cannot first love yourself?

[Aoife · Rating 3 out of 5]

After removing benign tumours from her face in Dec 2024, Fearne realised this was the accumulation of years of stress, people pleasing and staying on the right side of the media/critics/haters.

Fearne’s career started when she won a voting competition when she was 15. She had to be likeable and ever since then, she made herself smaller through disordered eating and bulimia for over a decade, coping with insecurity and imposter syndrome. She actively silenced herself to save herself, by changing radio stations and reducing her airtime so to be subject to less ridicule and criticism and became almost reclusive by staying home, surrendering a social life and social circle.

I recently read another book about people pleasing book by Jinger Duggar, which was more focused on the deeply religious world she lived in, both books are on the opposite end of the spectrum but this book definitely was more relatable, relative and recognisable. Definitely recommend even if like me you aren’t the biggest fan of Fearne.

[Nicola Southall-Lowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like Ferne but haven’t read her previous happy place books.
This one sounded like something I may enjoy…I was right by
It’s like Ferne is just telling her story, what’s she’s been through and how she needs to make things better and what she can do to achieve this, and she’s sharing it with us.
It’s not a self help book you must do this and that to be happy etc (I can’t stand those sort of books)
This just made me think
Yes I’m like that, good point maybe I should try change my perspective etc
Loved it
And thank you for writing it
(I will now go read the others)

[Lucy Melton · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t think I’ve learned or gleaned anything that I haven’t worked out myself, but given Fearne and I are the same age this is to be expected, an only a criticism of my choice of book, not her book contents.

There was talk of how looking at herself in tv monitors made life even harder than for the average Joe… well the average Joe is on Teams calls 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, staring back at their increasing grey hairs and crows feet so let’s agree we all have it rough and we’re just doing our best.

[mel jigs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you netgalley and the publisher for an arc copy of this book. I enjoyed this I feel this book spoke to me at the perfect time I like fearne would describe myself as a people pleaser but I am working on myself not to be and this book is great for validating that. I enjoyed hearing fearne’s life experiences and the fact that celebrities are as anxious as we are a lot
Of the time. Recommend this to anyone wanting to take back their power and learn to love themself for who they are.