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Pancakes and Poor Life Choices
If the universe had a “least likely to save existence” award, Liam would win by a landslide. He’s broke, depressed, and barely holding it together when his small-town life implodes into cosmic horror and government incompetence. Overnight, reality starts glitching like a cursed VHS tape, the fabric of existence starts tearing at the seams, and his dead-end town becomes ground zero for nightmares with too many teeth and agents who shoot first and redact later. Survival means battling wizards, mascots, and demons (both literal and personal), all while trying not to lose the only people he cares about. The multiverse is collapsing, but Liam’s biggest challenge might just be figuring out whether he actually wants to keep living in it.
Chaotic, unhinged, and unexpectedly heartfelt, Pancakes and Poor Life Choices is what happens when cosmic horror gets blackout drunk with absurdist comedy. It’s about friendship, trauma, and laughing in the face of oblivion, because sometimes the only way to fight the darkness is to be louder, weirder, and dumber than it is.
Fans of Douglas Adams, Jason Pargin, Jack Townsend and Everything Everywhere All at Once will feel right at home—if “home” is on fire, haunted, and somehow still funny.
Chaotic, unhinged, and unexpectedly heartfelt, Pancakes and Poor Life Choices is what happens when cosmic horror gets blackout drunk with absurdist comedy. It’s about friendship, trauma, and laughing in the face of oblivion, because sometimes the only way to fight the darkness is to be louder, weirder, and dumber than it is.
Fans of Douglas Adams, Jason Pargin, Jack Townsend and Everything Everywhere All at Once will feel right at home—if “home” is on fire, haunted, and somehow still funny.
252 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 17, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
December 17, 2025
Astonishing. Unlike anything I’ve ever read before.
I came across Parker through a comment on Reddit, found his book on Amazon and took a chance. I’m utterly blown away by what I found.
It’s eccentrically printed and starts with one of the most absurd and comically strange characters I’ve ever witnessed. I had no idea what I’d stumbled into. If it weren’t for the wit and literate writing style, I would’ve thought it was written by someone in an institution.
Then I laughed. And I laughed again. I laughed out loud, by myself, often. That’s rare when reading a novel, at least for me.
The wit, the absurdity, the creativity, the confidence. I loved it all.
Parker James also writes with a verve and splendour that you don’t see very often. It’s beautiful and strange and baffling. There are scenes of dread and horror that stayed with me. Such madness could have become repetitive, but he found ways to progress the story, develop his characters, and lead to a satisfying conclusion.
I loved it, and I’ll look out for more by Parker James over the years to come.
I came across Parker through a comment on Reddit, found his book on Amazon and took a chance. I’m utterly blown away by what I found.
It’s eccentrically printed and starts with one of the most absurd and comically strange characters I’ve ever witnessed. I had no idea what I’d stumbled into. If it weren’t for the wit and literate writing style, I would’ve thought it was written by someone in an institution.
Then I laughed. And I laughed again. I laughed out loud, by myself, often. That’s rare when reading a novel, at least for me.
The wit, the absurdity, the creativity, the confidence. I loved it all.
Parker James also writes with a verve and splendour that you don’t see very often. It’s beautiful and strange and baffling. There are scenes of dread and horror that stayed with me. Such madness could have become repetitive, but he found ways to progress the story, develop his characters, and lead to a satisfying conclusion.
I loved it, and I’ll look out for more by Parker James over the years to come.
November 27, 2025
insert weird review here
It’s about time somebody was brave enough to write what they were thinking about. It’s rather light hearted in a world that t takes itself way too serious.
I can’t say much about my favorite parts, but there was an undeserved death I enjoyed, and one deserved death I felt bad about- wait. Did he die? I have a shot memory. I’ll have to reread that.
I’m not a fan of endings like that, but I’ll let it go. Some people deserve it.
Can’t wait to see more from this author, I believe he has something deeper and bigger waiting to come out.
It’s about time somebody was brave enough to write what they were thinking about. It’s rather light hearted in a world that t takes itself way too serious.
I can’t say much about my favorite parts, but there was an undeserved death I enjoyed, and one deserved death I felt bad about- wait. Did he die? I have a shot memory. I’ll have to reread that.
I’m not a fan of endings like that, but I’ll let it go. Some people deserve it.
Can’t wait to see more from this author, I believe he has something deeper and bigger waiting to come out.
March 16, 2026
This. Fucking. Day.
3 ⅔ stars. What would happen if you got the original casts from "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure", "Dude, Where's My Car?", "Beaves & Butthole" (uh, what?) and maybe Ryan Reynolds - which would be a shame because I really like him but we need the support for writing the "This is like Deadpool breaking the fourth wall" bits - and put them in all in a big blender? Well, first of all, you'd be arrested and probably get the chair even without a trial because that's gross, inhumane, and just gosh darn illegal, even in today's day and age (where would you even get a big enough blender?). But otherwise, it might give you some insight into just what all goes on in Parker James' "Pancakes and Poor Life Choices", a delightfully (mostly) and often poorly punctuated yet utterly bizarro tale about multiverses. Or Mario Cart, I'm just no longer sure.
If this was a novel those clues would have been so anticlimactic.
Our tale (I read it, so it's now officially an "our" situation!) begins meeting this reality's Liam (trust me on this) on his way to work in the town of Rosedale, which is lovingly described as "a hollow husk of a community which died before it was given the chance to live." Then he stumbles upon (or is stumbled upon himself by) a magician making his own hand - sorry - "the almighty butt hand!" disappear into a top hat only to reappear bursting forth from his own rectum (wrecked 'em? 'Bout damn near killed him!). But alas that's not the worst thing to happen in the next few minutes as "supernatural tentacle monsters (begin) slaughtering the innocent". This includes a demonic version of Danny DeVito (or Demi Lovato, I'm still not sure), whose mostly naked (no surprise there) body is covered in various nut butters. Mayhem does what mayhem likes to do and ensues… stupid mayhem…
It’s at this point you should question if this book is for you.
Come on, you know who I'm talking about, "the squat actor from that sitcom It Often Drizzles in Weehawken…", who then lays waste to among other people one Dio who is "naturally" (or unnaturally) named after Ronnie James Dio owing to "his parents using his [Ronnie's] bat-like screeches as an aphrodisiac, conceiving Dio and each of his siblings to his music." Whatever works, right? In fact, throughout this book we'll meet a LOT of people with odd names that's not even including the 5 pun-laden Dicks that Liam can name (just nod and keep going) off the top of his head. No, we'll also meet Big Dick Balczak, Mike Hunt, Tess Teckel, and Jack Inghoff . Oh and don't forget Molly the donut shop manager/sexual performance mime or Lester the Molester, who despite his nickname, is not necessarily harmful to anyone ("Lester likes to pee in odd places."). Don't lose hope though, as Liam's neighbor and long-time crush target, Clare, is pretty darn cool and relatively normal it seems!
We’re shitty, but maybe we’re just the shit the world needs.
Anyway, Liam and his best friend Will start to believe that all of what is happening in Rosedale is just a big ol' bunch of hallucinations, possibly caused by their carefree attitude towards taking illegal drugs. And yes, with their sense of humor, you could accept that as a simplistic or even juvenile explanation. Alas, we find out that "It is not simplistic! It is not juvenile. It is all-encompassing and profound." Granted, I may be taking that quote totally out of context - hang on: no, it should be okay. But soon we find ourselves fighting for the very future of reality, across all of space, time, and, naturally, like I said before, multiverses. You can't check out a simple gardening pamphlet at the library these days without running into someone going on about multiverses ("The main principle at hand is, all things that are possible actually do occur.") and/or quantum, a word I, for one, was glad not to see at all in this book. Just please, please, PLEASE do not look up what "blumpkin" means!
I just don’t know how many more stupid dick jokes I can take.
Now, getting back to my point above (one of), I don't do a lot of illegal drugs - heck, at my age and with our socalized medical system, I don't do any illegal drugs - but I sure as hell don't digest onions very well in a total "that's gonna give me stomach problems and nightmares tonight" kind of way. So some of the "visions" our two heroes "enjoy" (I'll quit using quotation marks "in a minute") didn't strike me as being completely out of the realm of reason and possibility. And finding out that Liam's imagination in fact had the ability to not only create but also interact with alternate realities was very very cool. Plus, let's be honest: his ability to just put up with Will at all was heroic enough. I think I'd have taken Will pretty much from the get-go out to an empty field and ended my suffering with one of his own unique armaments. Then again whereas Liam at least had one good friend, I tend to consider that too much of a crowd and avoid it at all costs.
A booger goblin asshole just jizzed in my mailbox…
So we have the full battle royale stuff happening - against ultimately an "evil interdimensional god asshole" (no spoilers! Even if he is an "iguana–eyed fucking maniac.") - that naturally also includes some government, MIB types (sans slap happy Will Smith) and more weird but oddly necessary ethereal beings doing what ethereal beings tend to do. Especially if they're sexually attracted to cats and/or mailboxes. At this point, honestly, we go through some pretty deep preachy stuff, with a lot of philosophizing ("I spent last night learning philosophy from a cat rapist."), sentimentality, and even miscellaneous deep-thinking about the general state of life and how positive thinking is a good thing, which just goes on and on. A lot of this comes from "Billy the purple time stopping wizard" who, no, is not purple, it's just the color of his robe but, yes, is of vital importance to the outcome of this tale … but good gods he does like to go on a bit when given the chance. I wish I could have temporally, oops, temporarily turned off my cynicsm throughout but I'm old, dammit! Heck, I 'member watchin' that there boy when he was at Tennessee and even a bit of when his Pappy played at New Orleans!
I don’t believe in you. I believe in Peyton Manning. He is a symbol. Of purity. Of hope.
The bottom line is that we all have to get undressed, embrace, and sing Kumbaya together… no, wait, sorry that was group therapy this morning. What I meant to say was that it becomes increasingly clear that everyone needs to focus on the whole love thing and realize that darkness cannot drive out darkness. Unfortunately, this would have gone over even better for me if there hadn't been some real displacement hiccups and no, these weren't related to any kind of portal. For example, there's a point (deep underground, the announcer, um, announces) where our trio of heroes (cool band name!) do all kinds of things with their hands which shouldn't have been possible while wearing handcuffs (noting we are told later that they are uncuffed). Plus the whole qualitative standard (or lack thereof) of using of quotation marks when a statement ends or when or when not to capitalize said statements really began to stand out. No, not necessarily like someone "pissing freely like a sasquatch with a bladder problem" but still.
Seriously, like what the fuck? This is equal parts stupid and horrifying.
Look, this isn't Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination ("Are you just pulling this out of your ass?"). It is, however, a fun read that provides a really healthy stretch of the imagination (coincidence? I think not…) with some feel good, huggie (no, not the diapers) parts included as well. I'd even go so far to say that if you're trying to get your pimply-faced teenage sons interested in reading, this might be a rough approximation of where you might want to start. Sure, there's some gross bits and for some reason travelling throughout the multiverse includes a lot of exposed testes - which also tend to fly around some - and unnaturally large and thoroughly erect penises, but around here we just call that a normal Thursday. So enjoy your pancakes and poor life choices. Or ice cream and debauchery if you prefer. No, I won't mention the cigars because they are truly gross.
Haha, what a funny adventure you’ve all had. Look how silly and random existence is.
3 ⅔ stars. What would happen if you got the original casts from "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure", "Dude, Where's My Car?", "Beaves & Butthole" (uh, what?) and maybe Ryan Reynolds - which would be a shame because I really like him but we need the support for writing the "This is like Deadpool breaking the fourth wall" bits - and put them in all in a big blender? Well, first of all, you'd be arrested and probably get the chair even without a trial because that's gross, inhumane, and just gosh darn illegal, even in today's day and age (where would you even get a big enough blender?). But otherwise, it might give you some insight into just what all goes on in Parker James' "Pancakes and Poor Life Choices", a delightfully (mostly) and often poorly punctuated yet utterly bizarro tale about multiverses. Or Mario Cart, I'm just no longer sure.
If this was a novel those clues would have been so anticlimactic.
Our tale (I read it, so it's now officially an "our" situation!) begins meeting this reality's Liam (trust me on this) on his way to work in the town of Rosedale, which is lovingly described as "a hollow husk of a community which died before it was given the chance to live." Then he stumbles upon (or is stumbled upon himself by) a magician making his own hand - sorry - "the almighty butt hand!" disappear into a top hat only to reappear bursting forth from his own rectum (wrecked 'em? 'Bout damn near killed him!). But alas that's not the worst thing to happen in the next few minutes as "supernatural tentacle monsters (begin) slaughtering the innocent". This includes a demonic version of Danny DeVito (or Demi Lovato, I'm still not sure), whose mostly naked (no surprise there) body is covered in various nut butters. Mayhem does what mayhem likes to do and ensues… stupid mayhem…
It’s at this point you should question if this book is for you.
Come on, you know who I'm talking about, "the squat actor from that sitcom It Often Drizzles in Weehawken…", who then lays waste to among other people one Dio who is "naturally" (or unnaturally) named after Ronnie James Dio owing to "his parents using his [Ronnie's] bat-like screeches as an aphrodisiac, conceiving Dio and each of his siblings to his music." Whatever works, right? In fact, throughout this book we'll meet a LOT of people with odd names that's not even including the 5 pun-laden Dicks that Liam can name (just nod and keep going) off the top of his head. No, we'll also meet Big Dick Balczak, Mike Hunt, Tess Teckel, and Jack Inghoff . Oh and don't forget Molly the donut shop manager/sexual performance mime or Lester the Molester, who despite his nickname, is not necessarily harmful to anyone ("Lester likes to pee in odd places."). Don't lose hope though, as Liam's neighbor and long-time crush target, Clare, is pretty darn cool and relatively normal it seems!
We’re shitty, but maybe we’re just the shit the world needs.
Anyway, Liam and his best friend Will start to believe that all of what is happening in Rosedale is just a big ol' bunch of hallucinations, possibly caused by their carefree attitude towards taking illegal drugs. And yes, with their sense of humor, you could accept that as a simplistic or even juvenile explanation. Alas, we find out that "It is not simplistic! It is not juvenile. It is all-encompassing and profound." Granted, I may be taking that quote totally out of context - hang on: no, it should be okay. But soon we find ourselves fighting for the very future of reality, across all of space, time, and, naturally, like I said before, multiverses. You can't check out a simple gardening pamphlet at the library these days without running into someone going on about multiverses ("The main principle at hand is, all things that are possible actually do occur.") and/or quantum, a word I, for one, was glad not to see at all in this book. Just please, please, PLEASE do not look up what "blumpkin" means!
I just don’t know how many more stupid dick jokes I can take.
Now, getting back to my point above (one of), I don't do a lot of illegal drugs - heck, at my age and with our socalized medical system, I don't do any illegal drugs - but I sure as hell don't digest onions very well in a total "that's gonna give me stomach problems and nightmares tonight" kind of way. So some of the "visions" our two heroes "enjoy" (I'll quit using quotation marks "in a minute") didn't strike me as being completely out of the realm of reason and possibility. And finding out that Liam's imagination in fact had the ability to not only create but also interact with alternate realities was very very cool. Plus, let's be honest: his ability to just put up with Will at all was heroic enough. I think I'd have taken Will pretty much from the get-go out to an empty field and ended my suffering with one of his own unique armaments. Then again whereas Liam at least had one good friend, I tend to consider that too much of a crowd and avoid it at all costs.
A booger goblin asshole just jizzed in my mailbox…
So we have the full battle royale stuff happening - against ultimately an "evil interdimensional god asshole" (no spoilers! Even if he is an "iguana–eyed fucking maniac.") - that naturally also includes some government, MIB types (sans slap happy Will Smith) and more weird but oddly necessary ethereal beings doing what ethereal beings tend to do. Especially if they're sexually attracted to cats and/or mailboxes. At this point, honestly, we go through some pretty deep preachy stuff, with a lot of philosophizing ("I spent last night learning philosophy from a cat rapist."), sentimentality, and even miscellaneous deep-thinking about the general state of life and how positive thinking is a good thing, which just goes on and on. A lot of this comes from "Billy the purple time stopping wizard" who, no, is not purple, it's just the color of his robe but, yes, is of vital importance to the outcome of this tale … but good gods he does like to go on a bit when given the chance. I wish I could have temporally, oops, temporarily turned off my cynicsm throughout but I'm old, dammit! Heck, I 'member watchin' that there boy when he was at Tennessee and even a bit of when his Pappy played at New Orleans!
I don’t believe in you. I believe in Peyton Manning. He is a symbol. Of purity. Of hope.
The bottom line is that we all have to get undressed, embrace, and sing Kumbaya together… no, wait, sorry that was group therapy this morning. What I meant to say was that it becomes increasingly clear that everyone needs to focus on the whole love thing and realize that darkness cannot drive out darkness. Unfortunately, this would have gone over even better for me if there hadn't been some real displacement hiccups and no, these weren't related to any kind of portal. For example, there's a point (deep underground, the announcer, um, announces) where our trio of heroes (cool band name!) do all kinds of things with their hands which shouldn't have been possible while wearing handcuffs (noting we are told later that they are uncuffed). Plus the whole qualitative standard (or lack thereof) of using of quotation marks when a statement ends or when or when not to capitalize said statements really began to stand out. No, not necessarily like someone "pissing freely like a sasquatch with a bladder problem" but still.
Seriously, like what the fuck? This is equal parts stupid and horrifying.
Look, this isn't Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination ("Are you just pulling this out of your ass?"). It is, however, a fun read that provides a really healthy stretch of the imagination (coincidence? I think not…) with some feel good, huggie (no, not the diapers) parts included as well. I'd even go so far to say that if you're trying to get your pimply-faced teenage sons interested in reading, this might be a rough approximation of where you might want to start. Sure, there's some gross bits and for some reason travelling throughout the multiverse includes a lot of exposed testes - which also tend to fly around some - and unnaturally large and thoroughly erect penises, but around here we just call that a normal Thursday. So enjoy your pancakes and poor life choices. Or ice cream and debauchery if you prefer. No, I won't mention the cigars because they are truly gross.
Haha, what a funny adventure you’ve all had. Look how silly and random existence is.
February 24, 2026
Supremely Entertaining
This is a fun read as long as you aren’t bothered with ridiculous and obscene things. Following along the lines of books like “John Dies at the End” using satirical humor to comment on the current state of societal decay, but taken to absolute worst of bathroom humor. I enjoyed every minute!
This is a fun read as long as you aren’t bothered with ridiculous and obscene things. Following along the lines of books like “John Dies at the End” using satirical humor to comment on the current state of societal decay, but taken to absolute worst of bathroom humor. I enjoyed every minute!
May 18, 2026
3.5/5 (rounded up).
For a debut novel, this was genuinely entertaining. As a huge fan of Jason Pargin, I could easily feel his influence throughout the book. James captured much of the same chaotic, self-aware, nonsensical energy that made John Dies at the End so memorable.
My biggest gripe, grammar and punctuation issues aside, was that many of the jokes tended to overstay their welcome. Quite a few of them landed well, but the humor could become repetitive after a while, to the point where it occasionally felt a bit too Deadpool-esque. That style is not inherently a bad thing, but it is not always my preferred approach to comedy. Some jokes were stretched so far that they started to undercut moments that otherwise could have had more impact.
I also noticed an entire chapter mislabeled in my copy, jumping from Chapter 15 straight to Chapter 17, which was a little distracting. I am sure it has been fixed in later editions (I have the first print with the hideous AI cover).
Still, despite those issues, I had a good time with it overall. The book has a strong personality, a fun sense of absurdity, and enough charm to make me interested in seeing what James writes next.
For a debut novel, this was genuinely entertaining. As a huge fan of Jason Pargin, I could easily feel his influence throughout the book. James captured much of the same chaotic, self-aware, nonsensical energy that made John Dies at the End so memorable.
My biggest gripe, grammar and punctuation issues aside, was that many of the jokes tended to overstay their welcome. Quite a few of them landed well, but the humor could become repetitive after a while, to the point where it occasionally felt a bit too Deadpool-esque. That style is not inherently a bad thing, but it is not always my preferred approach to comedy. Some jokes were stretched so far that they started to undercut moments that otherwise could have had more impact.
I also noticed an entire chapter mislabeled in my copy, jumping from Chapter 15 straight to Chapter 17, which was a little distracting. I am sure it has been fixed in later editions (I have the first print with the hideous AI cover).
Still, despite those issues, I had a good time with it overall. The book has a strong personality, a fun sense of absurdity, and enough charm to make me interested in seeing what James writes next.
December 23, 2025
A very fun debut!
I can easily see the Jason Pargin influence throughout the novel in the character dynamics, themes, comedy, and absurdity. Starting it, I thought it would be silly and immature throughout (and it was), but it surprised me with a lot of emotional depth and self reflection. I really enjoyed the story and the humour, but ultimately gave it under a 4 because of the rushed pacing and at times rudimentary writing style. Additionally, there were occasional typos and grammatical errors. Honestly, if it were able to get a pass with an editor, it’d probably be an easy 4.
Overall, if you want a very quick read that will keep you engaged, but also has a lot of heart, I’d recommend it. Looking forward to the next one!
I can easily see the Jason Pargin influence throughout the novel in the character dynamics, themes, comedy, and absurdity. Starting it, I thought it would be silly and immature throughout (and it was), but it surprised me with a lot of emotional depth and self reflection. I really enjoyed the story and the humour, but ultimately gave it under a 4 because of the rushed pacing and at times rudimentary writing style. Additionally, there were occasional typos and grammatical errors. Honestly, if it were able to get a pass with an editor, it’d probably be an easy 4.
Overall, if you want a very quick read that will keep you engaged, but also has a lot of heart, I’d recommend it. Looking forward to the next one!
December 27, 2025
A wacky reddit find. Diamond in the rough honestly. Immature middle school humor meets deep trauma philosophy in a fast-paced horror comedy adventure. Had me crying with laughter and whipping through every page. Metaphors and jokes are deep cuts and I was there for all of it. Got turned onto it due to its similarity to the works of Jason Pargin and I think that's the best comp. 5/5 and will be re-reading.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews