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Ghost Girl: Surviving the Black Swan Murder―A Memoir
Eva Benefield, the daughter of the victim of the viral ‘Black Swan Murder’, tells her story about coming of age amid grief, violence and a true-crime spectacle, in a poignant memoir brimming with dark humor and wisdom beyond her years.
Eva was still in high school when her mother died suddenly of a heart attack. Within a year, her father marries Ashley Byers, a twenty-four-year-old former bikini model he has only known for a few weeks. ‘She looked sharp’, Eva says of her strange new stepmother, ‘like if you touched her you might bleed’.
After a few months, Ashley convinces her new husband to open an international ballet company in Charleston, SC. But soon the money runs out and Ashley shoots and kills Eva’s father. The crime was dubbed in the news media as ‘The Black Swan Murder’. Eva, now orphaned and in college, is suddenly ‘awash in tabloid gore’ and must figure out how to make rent and survive.
Reeling from the sudden loss of both her parents and the looming criminal trial of her stepmother, Eva begins to navigate the confusing world of adulthood all alone. ‘You don’t have a choice about a lot of stuff, especially when you’re a girl,’ Eva says. ‘The things that changed my life were not my choices. They were other people’s decisions, people who really should have known better.’
From losing friends who can't understand the nature of her new reality, to processing her grief and anger as she slowly pulls herself together and begins to chart a new path forward, Eva confronts the triumphs and challenges of a truly incredible situation head on in this unforgettable memoir.
Eva was still in high school when her mother died suddenly of a heart attack. Within a year, her father marries Ashley Byers, a twenty-four-year-old former bikini model he has only known for a few weeks. ‘She looked sharp’, Eva says of her strange new stepmother, ‘like if you touched her you might bleed’.
After a few months, Ashley convinces her new husband to open an international ballet company in Charleston, SC. But soon the money runs out and Ashley shoots and kills Eva’s father. The crime was dubbed in the news media as ‘The Black Swan Murder’. Eva, now orphaned and in college, is suddenly ‘awash in tabloid gore’ and must figure out how to make rent and survive.
Reeling from the sudden loss of both her parents and the looming criminal trial of her stepmother, Eva begins to navigate the confusing world of adulthood all alone. ‘You don’t have a choice about a lot of stuff, especially when you’re a girl,’ Eva says. ‘The things that changed my life were not my choices. They were other people’s decisions, people who really should have known better.’
From losing friends who can't understand the nature of her new reality, to processing her grief and anger as she slowly pulls herself together and begins to chart a new path forward, Eva confronts the triumphs and challenges of a truly incredible situation head on in this unforgettable memoir.
272 pages, Hardcover
Published July 21, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 136 reviews
July 23, 2026
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Ghost Girl: Surviving the Black Swan Murder―A Memoir by Eva Benefield
I ran across Eva Benefield on TikTok when she was discussing the murder of her father and the upcoming publication of this book. I immediately marked it as one to read when it was published, as I was invested in her story after the brief description in her video.
Eva has had a hard life, losing her mom at 14 and her dad just a few years later she has grown up without the two people who helped shape you as a person. I think her own quote from the book says it best; "One of the things you don't think about when you lose your parents when you are young; is that your mom and dad are gone before you are old enough to get to know them as people". This is such a strong backdrop to the pain she is living right now.
At the time of publication, Eva is only 24-25 years old. This shows in some of the words and phrasing she uses. Another review referenced she "needed an editor"; but it is my opinion this book was wonderfully written in her own words. It feels very authentic and real, and listening to the audiobook that she narrated herself makes it even more personal. Using words like "sus" or phrases that you hear teens and young adults use right now are not things that need edited out but instead creates her voice as true and authentic in her book.
This was a very quick and easy read, and it walks you through her life from right before losing her mom up until the murderer was convicted for killing her father. She is very open, does a great job at sharing her feelings with you (even if it makes you uncomfortable) and it's written in a way that is easy to follow along and understand her journey.
Eva, if you see this review, I hope you know I'm praying for you and I hope you heal. All throughout the book I can hear your pain, the pieces of you that have fallen apart, and the pieces that still haven't been put back together. Just know that someday you will feel whole again, not the same whole you used to feel but you will feel it again someday.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story.
I ran across Eva Benefield on TikTok when she was discussing the murder of her father and the upcoming publication of this book. I immediately marked it as one to read when it was published, as I was invested in her story after the brief description in her video.
Eva has had a hard life, losing her mom at 14 and her dad just a few years later she has grown up without the two people who helped shape you as a person. I think her own quote from the book says it best; "One of the things you don't think about when you lose your parents when you are young; is that your mom and dad are gone before you are old enough to get to know them as people". This is such a strong backdrop to the pain she is living right now.
At the time of publication, Eva is only 24-25 years old. This shows in some of the words and phrasing she uses. Another review referenced she "needed an editor"; but it is my opinion this book was wonderfully written in her own words. It feels very authentic and real, and listening to the audiobook that she narrated herself makes it even more personal. Using words like "sus" or phrases that you hear teens and young adults use right now are not things that need edited out but instead creates her voice as true and authentic in her book.
This was a very quick and easy read, and it walks you through her life from right before losing her mom up until the murderer was convicted for killing her father. She is very open, does a great job at sharing her feelings with you (even if it makes you uncomfortable) and it's written in a way that is easy to follow along and understand her journey.
Eva, if you see this review, I hope you know I'm praying for you and I hope you heal. All throughout the book I can hear your pain, the pieces of you that have fallen apart, and the pieces that still haven't been put back together. Just know that someday you will feel whole again, not the same whole you used to feel but you will feel it again someday.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story.
July 25, 2026
3.75💫 Sad, crazy, tragic story. But all of the slang took me out a bit.
July 23, 2026
This book lacked nuance, plain and simple. The actual story the author, Eva Benefield, is telling is what keeps the reader interested. I cannot deny her perspective IS fascinating.
However, she paints a picture of a perfect father and an insane stepmom. While I absolutely believe Ashley was a cold blooded murderer, there’s plenty of questionable aspects of Doug Benefield’s behavior and character that are glossed over and not analyzed at all. These two people met at Ben Carson’s house! Eva only consistently describes Ashley as MAGA, but in my opinion, anybody who’s been to Ben Carson’s house for funsies falls under the same umbrella. I also think that her father displayed extremely poor judgement in his decisions, for starters, marrying somebody after thirteen days of knowing them without telling his teenage daughter. Especially with an age gap that many would consider to be creepy/weird. He even fired a gun in the house due to his agitation with Ashley! Doug Benefield is a victim, but under no circumstances is he a perfect victim. I understand Eva’s bias towards her father is natural, but it becomes aggravating.
Speaking of aggravation, Eva writes in Gen Z slang, which has its place-social media. Not books. She makes herself look like an idiot by doing this and I had to take a break from the book a few times because of this.
All in all, this book was okay. If you’re interested in true crime, it’s worth suffering through the poor writing.
However, she paints a picture of a perfect father and an insane stepmom. While I absolutely believe Ashley was a cold blooded murderer, there’s plenty of questionable aspects of Doug Benefield’s behavior and character that are glossed over and not analyzed at all. These two people met at Ben Carson’s house! Eva only consistently describes Ashley as MAGA, but in my opinion, anybody who’s been to Ben Carson’s house for funsies falls under the same umbrella. I also think that her father displayed extremely poor judgement in his decisions, for starters, marrying somebody after thirteen days of knowing them without telling his teenage daughter. Especially with an age gap that many would consider to be creepy/weird. He even fired a gun in the house due to his agitation with Ashley! Doug Benefield is a victim, but under no circumstances is he a perfect victim. I understand Eva’s bias towards her father is natural, but it becomes aggravating.
Speaking of aggravation, Eva writes in Gen Z slang, which has its place-social media. Not books. She makes herself look like an idiot by doing this and I had to take a break from the book a few times because of this.
All in all, this book was okay. If you’re interested in true crime, it’s worth suffering through the poor writing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 24, 2026
Ate 👏🏼 this 👏🏼 UP! I have followed Eva for years and this was one of my most anticipated reads for 2026. The entire book felt like a conversation with her which I loved. A memoir is supposed to feel that way and this was just that. Bravo gf, nailed it.
July 29, 2026
I remember when Eva’s story was all over the news, and years later she started showing up on my TikTok For You page. That made me even more curious to read her memoir.
There’s no question that Eva endured unimaginable trauma, losing both her mother and later her father under heartbreaking circumstances. My feelings about the book, however, were a bit mixed.
For me, the writing felt quite matter-of-fact, and I struggled to connect emotionally with the narrative. Given everything she experienced, I expected to feel more immersed in her grief, fear, and resilience, but I found the storytelling surprisingly detached. I completely respect that everyone processes trauma differently, and this may simply reflect Eva’s way of telling her story.
I also finished the book with a lingering sense of discomfort that I can’t quite put my finger on. It wasn’t the tragic events themselves—it was something about the overall tone and delivery that left me feeling emotionally distant rather than deeply moved.
I’m glad I read it because her story is remarkable and deserves to be heard, but it wasn’t a memoir that resonated with me as deeply as I’d hoped.
There’s no question that Eva endured unimaginable trauma, losing both her mother and later her father under heartbreaking circumstances. My feelings about the book, however, were a bit mixed.
For me, the writing felt quite matter-of-fact, and I struggled to connect emotionally with the narrative. Given everything she experienced, I expected to feel more immersed in her grief, fear, and resilience, but I found the storytelling surprisingly detached. I completely respect that everyone processes trauma differently, and this may simply reflect Eva’s way of telling her story.
I also finished the book with a lingering sense of discomfort that I can’t quite put my finger on. It wasn’t the tragic events themselves—it was something about the overall tone and delivery that left me feeling emotionally distant rather than deeply moved.
I’m glad I read it because her story is remarkable and deserves to be heard, but it wasn’t a memoir that resonated with me as deeply as I’d hoped.
July 23, 2026
I’ve been following Eva on TikTok for a longtime. Actually because of her clothing brand Ghost Cowboy, which then led me down the rabbit hole of Orphan TikTok. I followed as she shared her art, her stories of loss, and then going through her father’s murder trial. I felt like I was actually having a conversation with her while reading, like when your friend FaceTimes you to tell you the most wild story. If you haven’t heard of Eva’s story, give it a read. It’s a coming of age memoir through some horrific events, and her survival of them.
July 29, 2026
I found Eva on tiktok like the rest of the world. Eva girl, your parents are so proud of you! Some reviews mention the slang being annoying, but tbh it was just like someone was telling me a story. Didn’t bother me. Guess i’m hip.
Read
July 29, 2026I have a lot of trouble when I think about rating this book. It’s almost like “how entertaining do you find this girl‘s trauma?” which is a horrible thing to even consider. She was very young when this happened to her and she’s still young now, so it makes sense that the way that she interprets and processes things feels … young.
I will say that I’m extremely impressed with Eva. Ever since her mom passed, her dad had a very hands-off, negligent style of parenting. I hope that this book gives her the financial stability to create the home for herself that she has been craving for years. <3
I will say that I’m extremely impressed with Eva. Ever since her mom passed, her dad had a very hands-off, negligent style of parenting. I hope that this book gives her the financial stability to create the home for herself that she has been craving for years. <3
September 18, 2026
Eva Benefield (born 2001) is an American artist, apparel-company owner, and social media creator whose 2026 memoir, Ghost Girl: Surviving the Black Swan Murder, recounts losing both of her parents while she was still very young. At 14, Benefield's mother, Renee, died suddenly from an undiagnosed heart condition. Nine months later, her father, Doug, met 24-year-old Ashley Byers at a political event and married her only 13 days later. The marriage was troubled almost from the beginning, and in 2020 Ashley fatally shot Doug during their separation. She maintained that she acted in self-defense; prosecutors disputed that account, and a jury ultimately convicted her of manslaughter rather than the second-degree murder charge she originally faced. She was later sentenced to 20 years in prison.
Ghost Girl is certainly a remarkable story, but I found it a much less compelling memoir. Benefield is still only 25, and the book very much reads like it was written by someone who is still living inside the aftermath of these events rather than looking back on them with much distance or perspective. The prose is full of Gen Z slang, and she tends to divide the people in her story very cleanly into heroes and villains. Ashley is presented as almost preternaturally awful from the moment she appears, while Doug is remembered as an essentially wonderful father. Yet even within Benefield's own account, the family dynamics seem considerably more complicated than that: her father married a woman 30 years younger than he was less than two weeks after meeting her, poured enormous sums of money into their failed ballet venture, and remained in an extraordinarily dysfunctional relationship for years. Ashley's own allegations of abuse and her self-defense claim were contested at trial, but even the sentencing judge said he believed she had acted under duress. That does not negate Eva's experience or Ashley's manslaughter conviction; it does make the reality considerably messier than the memoir generally allows.
That lack of perspective also shows up in smaller stories. Benefield devotes considerable indignation to episodes such as Ashley supposedly "murdering" her goldfish, when the actual story is that Eva herself flushed the goldfish down the toilet because she did not want to clean the bowl. Likewise, she describes an adolescence filled with expensive gifts, a new truck, readily available spending money, and a father willing to invest huge amounts in Ashley's ambitions, followed by an early adulthood in which Eva had virtually no financial cushion, left college after one semester, and regularly struggled to make ends meet. Those contradictions are actually some of the most interesting material in the book, but Benefield rarely steps back to examine what they suggest about the family she grew up in or the adults who raised her.
I listened to the audiobook, which Benefield narrates herself, and it moves quickly. But I would not recommend Ghost Girl as a particularly reflective book about grief, family dysfunction, or surviving trauma. It is more accurately the account of a very young woman who has experienced an extraordinary amount of loss and is still figuring out what happened to her and what it means. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but the immediacy that presumably helped make Benefield successful on TikTok does not necessarily translate into the depth I look for in memoir.
My statistics:
Book 180 for 2026
Book 2486 cumulatively
Ghost Girl is certainly a remarkable story, but I found it a much less compelling memoir. Benefield is still only 25, and the book very much reads like it was written by someone who is still living inside the aftermath of these events rather than looking back on them with much distance or perspective. The prose is full of Gen Z slang, and she tends to divide the people in her story very cleanly into heroes and villains. Ashley is presented as almost preternaturally awful from the moment she appears, while Doug is remembered as an essentially wonderful father. Yet even within Benefield's own account, the family dynamics seem considerably more complicated than that: her father married a woman 30 years younger than he was less than two weeks after meeting her, poured enormous sums of money into their failed ballet venture, and remained in an extraordinarily dysfunctional relationship for years. Ashley's own allegations of abuse and her self-defense claim were contested at trial, but even the sentencing judge said he believed she had acted under duress. That does not negate Eva's experience or Ashley's manslaughter conviction; it does make the reality considerably messier than the memoir generally allows.
That lack of perspective also shows up in smaller stories. Benefield devotes considerable indignation to episodes such as Ashley supposedly "murdering" her goldfish, when the actual story is that Eva herself flushed the goldfish down the toilet because she did not want to clean the bowl. Likewise, she describes an adolescence filled with expensive gifts, a new truck, readily available spending money, and a father willing to invest huge amounts in Ashley's ambitions, followed by an early adulthood in which Eva had virtually no financial cushion, left college after one semester, and regularly struggled to make ends meet. Those contradictions are actually some of the most interesting material in the book, but Benefield rarely steps back to examine what they suggest about the family she grew up in or the adults who raised her.
I listened to the audiobook, which Benefield narrates herself, and it moves quickly. But I would not recommend Ghost Girl as a particularly reflective book about grief, family dysfunction, or surviving trauma. It is more accurately the account of a very young woman who has experienced an extraordinary amount of loss and is still figuring out what happened to her and what it means. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, but the immediacy that presumably helped make Benefield successful on TikTok does not necessarily translate into the depth I look for in memoir.
My statistics:
Book 180 for 2026
Book 2486 cumulatively
September 11, 2026
Title: Ghost Girl: Surviving the Black Swan Murder
Author: Eva Benefield
Rating: ⭐⭐💫
Man. Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some true crime. I don't remember how I heard about this book, but I'm pretty sure I came across a reel on social media somewhere. However, I do not follow the author, nor did I look up a "deep dive" of any kind of the case; I saw something, looked up the basics, and put this memoir on hold. And the results left me underwhelmed.
I kind of feel like a monster rating a memoir about a family member's murder 2.5 stars - but I genuinely think the book warrants that. Firstly, the slang. She refers to her vehicle as her "whip" 3-4 separate times, and in 20 years who is going to know what the hell that means?! She also uses other shorthand and abbreviations ("AF" and the like, which I am very guilty of also...but not in a freaking published book!), and it's very jarring, especially when listening to the audio. Second, she is VERY VERY anti-Ashley and her dad appears to be a saint. Which, absolutely understandable - but girl, your dad is not just a victim of bad judgement and circumstance. There are two sides to every story, and it's NEVER just "my dad did a boneheaded thing and married her 13 days after meeting her, and paid for it with his life because she's crazy!". I am absolutely not blaming the victim, but I think as an outsider it's easier to acknowledge that the truth of the story is likely closer to the middle than Eva portrays it as.
My third and final note - she seems very very removed from emotion in reading the audiobook. There is no emotion in her voice; she may as well be reading a weather report...or a work of fiction. There is no emotion and also no conviction in her expression. I didn't want her sobbing in my ears, but also I truly expected...something. It was underwhelming as a whole.
I do fully expect to get a "new and improved" version of this book around 10-20-25 years from now, with a more biased look at their marriage and the murder. But until then....2.5 stars, rounded down on GR.
Author: Eva Benefield
Rating: ⭐⭐💫
Man. Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some true crime. I don't remember how I heard about this book, but I'm pretty sure I came across a reel on social media somewhere. However, I do not follow the author, nor did I look up a "deep dive" of any kind of the case; I saw something, looked up the basics, and put this memoir on hold. And the results left me underwhelmed.
I kind of feel like a monster rating a memoir about a family member's murder 2.5 stars - but I genuinely think the book warrants that. Firstly, the slang. She refers to her vehicle as her "whip" 3-4 separate times, and in 20 years who is going to know what the hell that means?! She also uses other shorthand and abbreviations ("AF" and the like, which I am very guilty of also...but not in a freaking published book!), and it's very jarring, especially when listening to the audio. Second, she is VERY VERY anti-Ashley and her dad appears to be a saint. Which, absolutely understandable - but girl, your dad is not just a victim of bad judgement and circumstance. There are two sides to every story, and it's NEVER just "my dad did a boneheaded thing and married her 13 days after meeting her, and paid for it with his life because she's crazy!". I am absolutely not blaming the victim, but I think as an outsider it's easier to acknowledge that the truth of the story is likely closer to the middle than Eva portrays it as.
My third and final note - she seems very very removed from emotion in reading the audiobook. There is no emotion in her voice; she may as well be reading a weather report...or a work of fiction. There is no emotion and also no conviction in her expression. I didn't want her sobbing in my ears, but also I truly expected...something. It was underwhelming as a whole.
I do fully expect to get a "new and improved" version of this book around 10-20-25 years from now, with a more biased look at their marriage and the murder. But until then....2.5 stars, rounded down on GR.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 9, 2026
Eva is a remarkably resilient, young woman. I hope she continues to succeed and has a peaceful, love-filled life.
August 15, 2026
This book was (super weirdly but I don’t think she would be mad) fun. Yes, the subject matter is dark and sad, and the amount of pain Benefield was handed is unimaginable, but the writing style felt like I was sitting with one of my kids having them tell me a crazy ass story. The slang threw me at first, but I ended up really loving how conversational the book was. Her personality just absolutely blasted through the drama and chaos, and when you get down to it that is like…the whole thing. I wish I could buy her a cold brew at the Fox and tell her she’s a total badass that should be incredibly proud of herself.
July 23, 2026
I originally wanted to give this book 4 stars because I wasn’t crazy about some of the wording. However, the quickest way I could get my hands on it was through the Spotify audiobook, and I’m actually so glad that’s how I experienced it.
I’ve followed Eva on TikTok since she had a very small following, back when my feed was full of small art business owners while I was getting deeper into my own craft business. Hearing Eva tell her own story in her own voice, with her own tone and wording made it feel so much more authentic— it reminded me that this isn’t meant to sound like a polished novel written by a seasoned author. It’s the story of a young woman who lost both of her parents. I’m honestly glad we got this book now, in her own voice, instead of years from now after time and experience may have changed how she told her story. That authenticity is what turned this into a 5-star read for me.
I’ve followed Eva on TikTok since she had a very small following, back when my feed was full of small art business owners while I was getting deeper into my own craft business. Hearing Eva tell her own story in her own voice, with her own tone and wording made it feel so much more authentic— it reminded me that this isn’t meant to sound like a polished novel written by a seasoned author. It’s the story of a young woman who lost both of her parents. I’m honestly glad we got this book now, in her own voice, instead of years from now after time and experience may have changed how she told her story. That authenticity is what turned this into a 5-star read for me.
September 3, 2026
If you keep in mind that the author is 23, it’s a lot more tolerable to read. Hard to get interested but 1/3 of the way in it got better. Not really much info about the crime or what went on with that, but it had a satisfactory ending.
Read
August 3, 2026This should’ve been an essay/article. Also the amount of slang🫠
July 21, 2026
During one of my rare TikTok scrolls, I came across Eva Benefield promoting her book, and preordered it on Audible right away. This is very obviously a TikTok book, but in a good way. The content is captivating but it’s written like causal dialogue with a lot of current slang. The author’s reality is heartbreaking and infuriating, but she conveys her experiences with clarity and emotional insight. I enjoyed this quick read UNTIL… she called Kanye a “crazy asshole”. Keep in mind, Eva is an indie t-shirt designer, and this Kanye jab was made in the midst of her describing how her first two viral shirt designs featured Kanye. I guarantee, if Kanye wasn’t part of those designs, her t-shirt business wouldn’t have taken off in the way it did, so really, she owes a great deal of her success to Kanye. I understand disagreeing with some of Kanye’s antics, but to completely disregard and disrespect the artist who inspired you and contributed to your success feels like mindless bandwagoning. Other than this absolutely treacherous misstep, this is a very solid and interesting book.
July 24, 2026
I was intrigued to hear Eva’s story about her life; her upbringing, her resiliency, and her determination to bring justice for her father. It’s heartbreaking the experiences she has endured and has had to overcome. The amount of slang (cringe, af, etc.) really made this difficult to listen to. It felt as though it was a TikTok story time being read to me by the author.
Did Not Finish
August 11, 2026This is a memoir-slash-true-crime-story written by the daughter of a man who was murdered by his manipulative, much-younger wife. I picked it up because the case sounded interesting, and I love both memoirs and true crime stories. And I was sticking with it through all the author's whitewashing of her bratty teenage behaviour, the probably-overly-exaggerated accounts of her stepmother's behaviour, and the many MANY uses of "like" and "literally" and "seriously" in the narrative (seriously, what is English like literally even coming to?), because I thought the first-hand account of the crime and its aftermath would be worth reading.
But then, on page 120, in a fit of pique over her "wicked stepmother" nagging at her to clean her goldfish bowl, the author recounts how she flushed her LIVE GOLDFISH down the toilet. Referring to it as the fish's "final exit." Oh, but don't worry, she does "still wince" when she thinks about it. And we're supposed to be sympathizing with the author here, who was 17 at the time this happened.
I'm sorry, but no. No. Does anyone actually understand what happens to a LIVE FISH when you flush it down the toilet? Do you think it instantly dies? It does not. In fact, some even survive their high-speed violent journey through sewage and toxicity. Some of those survivors even somehow live through whatever the heck happens in sewage treatment plants, and they are then released into open water where they become an invasive species in an already-endangered ecosystem. Those that don't miraculously survive have a pretty horrible death. But yeah, you go ahead and WINCE.
I know, most people who read this will be thinking, "It's just a fish. Who cares?" I like fish, okay? They're sentient beings, and way more intelligent than most people think. One of mine is sick right now, so maybe I'm feeling a bit delicate about it. The amount of jokes I've gotten over the years to "just flush them" ENRAGE me. For one thing, it's illegal in a lot of places, for the above "endangering the ecosystem" reasons. For another thing, go flush yourself.
/my rant.
Anyway, so maybe skip this memoir. It's really not very good.
But then, on page 120, in a fit of pique over her "wicked stepmother" nagging at her to clean her goldfish bowl, the author recounts how she flushed her LIVE GOLDFISH down the toilet. Referring to it as the fish's "final exit." Oh, but don't worry, she does "still wince" when she thinks about it. And we're supposed to be sympathizing with the author here, who was 17 at the time this happened.
I'm sorry, but no. No. Does anyone actually understand what happens to a LIVE FISH when you flush it down the toilet? Do you think it instantly dies? It does not. In fact, some even survive their high-speed violent journey through sewage and toxicity. Some of those survivors even somehow live through whatever the heck happens in sewage treatment plants, and they are then released into open water where they become an invasive species in an already-endangered ecosystem. Those that don't miraculously survive have a pretty horrible death. But yeah, you go ahead and WINCE.
I know, most people who read this will be thinking, "It's just a fish. Who cares?" I like fish, okay? They're sentient beings, and way more intelligent than most people think. One of mine is sick right now, so maybe I'm feeling a bit delicate about it. The amount of jokes I've gotten over the years to "just flush them" ENRAGE me. For one thing, it's illegal in a lot of places, for the above "endangering the ecosystem" reasons. For another thing, go flush yourself.
/my rant.
Anyway, so maybe skip this memoir. It's really not very good.
July 25, 2026
One of Eva's TikToks came up on my FYP where she briefly spoke about this book, and it immediately intrigued me. I didn't know much about the case going in, and wow - it really is a heartbreaking and tragic story.
I did find the writing style wasn't quite for me. It was very conversational and included a lot of slang.
I'm not entirely sure how to word this without it coming across the wrong way, because Eva has every right to hate Ashley for what she did to her dad. That anger is completely understandable. However, I felt like the book focused so heavily on directing that hatred towards Ashley that it sometimes painted her dad as a perfect person, when the reality seemed much more complicated than that.
I also felt like some points weren't given enough time to fully develop before the book moved on to the next chapter, which left me wanting a bit more depth and reflection.
That said, Eva narrates the audiobook herself, and I thought she did a really good job - especially considering it was her first time narrating. Hearing the story in her own voice definitely added an extra layer of emotion.
I did find the writing style wasn't quite for me. It was very conversational and included a lot of slang.
I'm not entirely sure how to word this without it coming across the wrong way, because Eva has every right to hate Ashley for what she did to her dad. That anger is completely understandable. However, I felt like the book focused so heavily on directing that hatred towards Ashley that it sometimes painted her dad as a perfect person, when the reality seemed much more complicated than that.
I also felt like some points weren't given enough time to fully develop before the book moved on to the next chapter, which left me wanting a bit more depth and reflection.
That said, Eva narrates the audiobook herself, and I thought she did a really good job - especially considering it was her first time narrating. Hearing the story in her own voice definitely added an extra layer of emotion.
August 24, 2026
This one is tough to review. There were times when reading the book. I wanted to give it five stars. I enjoyed the style of writing, dry humor, and voice of the author. Some people have criticized the author’s use of Gen Z terminology, but I found it to be authentic and as a former English teacher, endearing.
The part I found difficult to understand was her one dimensional view of the relationship between her father and stepmother. After reading the book, I dug a little deeper into the story and discovered that her father had kicked her real mother on their honeymoon and subsequently she sent a text to him telling him about how he deceived her before marrying her. His own lawyer did not dispute the validity of this text but downplayed what happened. This clearly demonstrates he had a pattern of mistreating women, including her own mother.
She paints her father as a complete saint, and literally calls Ashley Satan. It’s disturbing to read how much she defends this man who abandoned her nine months after her mother died to marry a woman 30 years his junior 13 days after meeting her. Then he pretty much leaves her to raise herself as he goes traipsing off to Florida to be with Ashley after she leaves him.
Did he deserve to be killed by Ashley? No. But at the end of the book when Ashley gets only 20 years, the reader is left angry because we have missed the nuances of their relationship. I was surprised when the author admits she was pleased with the sentence because the way she portrayed Ashley, anything less than life in prison without parole would be a miscarriage of justice. However, after looking at other news articles and shows about the incident, I can understand the verdict better and why Eva would be pleased with it.
The bottom line is that her father failed her after her mother died, and that is incredibly sad. He clearly was a selfish person who would send Bible verses to his daughter each morning from Florida instead of actually choosing to live in the same house with her and raise her after the death of her mother. The truth is, he left her long before he died.
I do hope that Eva continues to flourish and creates a meaningful and satisfying life. She certainly deserves it.
The part I found difficult to understand was her one dimensional view of the relationship between her father and stepmother. After reading the book, I dug a little deeper into the story and discovered that her father had kicked her real mother on their honeymoon and subsequently she sent a text to him telling him about how he deceived her before marrying her. His own lawyer did not dispute the validity of this text but downplayed what happened. This clearly demonstrates he had a pattern of mistreating women, including her own mother.
She paints her father as a complete saint, and literally calls Ashley Satan. It’s disturbing to read how much she defends this man who abandoned her nine months after her mother died to marry a woman 30 years his junior 13 days after meeting her. Then he pretty much leaves her to raise herself as he goes traipsing off to Florida to be with Ashley after she leaves him.
Did he deserve to be killed by Ashley? No. But at the end of the book when Ashley gets only 20 years, the reader is left angry because we have missed the nuances of their relationship. I was surprised when the author admits she was pleased with the sentence because the way she portrayed Ashley, anything less than life in prison without parole would be a miscarriage of justice. However, after looking at other news articles and shows about the incident, I can understand the verdict better and why Eva would be pleased with it.
The bottom line is that her father failed her after her mother died, and that is incredibly sad. He clearly was a selfish person who would send Bible verses to his daughter each morning from Florida instead of actually choosing to live in the same house with her and raise her after the death of her mother. The truth is, he left her long before he died.
I do hope that Eva continues to flourish and creates a meaningful and satisfying life. She certainly deserves it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 15, 2026
I feel terrible for my two star review considering that Eva Benefield has faced more trauma at her young age than most of us will in our entire life. However, the writing of this book was just awful. There were a few passages in there that suggest that Benefield can write well, but her style seems more approrpriate for captioning an Instagram post than writing an actual book. That style took away from her actual emotion, which made it seem as if she didn't really care about what happened.
July 25, 2026
It’s insane how much Eva has gone through and still come out with a positive outlook on life
August 7, 2026
4.5⭐️- couldn’t put it down I was so eager to just keep reading
August 8, 2026
Couldn’t put this one down. So sad and I remember the case but was happy to hear Eva’s side.
August 18, 2026
I binged this book. The slang was a bit much but overall a very impactful read
September 8, 2026
Horrible story I had never heard about but wish it gave more details
September 15, 2026
The story is interesting. I remember the case from a few years ago. I think this could have been better with the right right editor and perhaps more maturity.
July 27, 2026
I’ve followed this story so I was super intrigued when I saw this book come out!
I was definitely into the book and the details of Eva’s life leading up.
However, the writing is where this one gets me. The slang used is really what did it for me. It’s written like she was chatting with you on TikTok. Which works for some people.
This story is sad and tragic. I feel for this good so much!! My heart reached out to her every time she used dark humor to talk about things. I could not even imagine.
I was definitely into the book and the details of Eva’s life leading up.
However, the writing is where this one gets me. The slang used is really what did it for me. It’s written like she was chatting with you on TikTok. Which works for some people.
This story is sad and tragic. I feel for this good so much!! My heart reached out to her every time she used dark humor to talk about things. I could not even imagine.
September 9, 2026
I really hate rating memoirs. Mostly because this is someone's reality. However, I had a hard time with this book. The author actually lost me with the statement "the summer after my mom died was one of the happiest times in my life so far". I get that everyone grieves differently but those kinds of statements (there were other similar quotes) coupled with the endless slang, just did me in. I wish Eva all the best and can't imagine her pain. I just couldn't get invested in this memoir.
July 31, 2026
My first audio book!! Kinda feels like cheating, marking this as “read”
Such an insane story. Eva is so resilient for so young a person! (I mean she had to be but wow)
Such an insane story. Eva is so resilient for so young a person! (I mean she had to be but wow)
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