What do you think?
Rate this book
My Brother Oliver
A beautiful and unforgettable novel in verse by about a boy struggling with guilt as his family reels from the fallout of his older brother’s extreme depression and tries to hold onto hope.
My brother’s not here.
My brother’s not here.
My brother’s not here.
And it’s all
because of
me.
Brooks loves and adores his older brother, Oliver. That’s why it was so hard—practically impossible, really—for him to have done what he did and told his parents about what Oliver wanted to do.
Now Oliver has been sent away. He’s miserable, and Brooks’s family is falling apart. His mom and dad are sad and scared, and it seems like nothing will ever be okay again. Maybe things would be better if Brooks had just kept his mouth shut. Can he and his family find the hope they need to keep going?
My brother’s not here.
My brother’s not here.
My brother’s not here.
And it’s all
because of
me.
Brooks loves and adores his older brother, Oliver. That’s why it was so hard—practically impossible, really—for him to have done what he did and told his parents about what Oliver wanted to do.
Now Oliver has been sent away. He’s miserable, and Brooks’s family is falling apart. His mom and dad are sad and scared, and it seems like nothing will ever be okay again. Maybe things would be better if Brooks had just kept his mouth shut. Can he and his family find the hope they need to keep going?
464 pages, Hardcover
Published May 19, 2026
About the author
R.L. Toalson
13 books66 followersArnold Adoff Poetry Honor award-winning MG author, poet | THE COLORS OF THE RAIN | THE WOODS | wife, mom of 6 (boys), long-distance runner, tea drinker
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
May 24, 2026
Such a beautifully written novel in verse. The poetry is fantastic, the emotional thoughts of the main character are very realistic and nuanced. I just loved everything about it. It felt very realistic and true.
May 2, 2026
Once in a blue moon you come across a story that makes you feel less alone, because it somehow describes everything you thought was only felt by you and you alone. This is one of those stories.
Review of advance copy
Tired of living in the shadow of his brother, Oliver--a talented violinist who is cued autistic--sixth grader Brooks Rutley stops protecting Oliver from his bullies, and then must reconcile his own role in Oliver's subsequent suicide attempt.
This is one of those books that is so hard to read, especially as a parent—but it also felt so incredibly necessary and important, because Toalson does such a fine job of showing who her characters are and really getting into the heads of middle schoolers.
While some plot points felt underdeveloped to me (singular mentions of Pawpaw and a family cat in the last third of the book serve to create tension that, in my opinion, could have been expressed using the world Toalson had already spent hundreds of pages developing), this is nevertheless a brave and powerful conversation starter of a book that gently and carefully explores the family dynamics of autism—and does so in a compelling, easy-to-read verse novel format. This book tore me apart and made me cry, and then put me back together and gave me hope. It’s one of those stories that will stay with me, and one that I’ll be recommending to fellow parents and teachers.
Particularly noteworthy is that Toalson points out that the standards of psychiatric care are designed for neurotypical brains. This adds an extra layer of challenge for people with autism, as hospitalization causes extra stress by interrupting routines, which they may interpret as trauma. That isn’t something that gets talked about enough, and it needs to be part of the conversation.
This is one of those books that is so hard to read, especially as a parent—but it also felt so incredibly necessary and important, because Toalson does such a fine job of showing who her characters are and really getting into the heads of middle schoolers.
While some plot points felt underdeveloped to me (singular mentions of Pawpaw and a family cat in the last third of the book serve to create tension that, in my opinion, could have been expressed using the world Toalson had already spent hundreds of pages developing), this is nevertheless a brave and powerful conversation starter of a book that gently and carefully explores the family dynamics of autism—and does so in a compelling, easy-to-read verse novel format. This book tore me apart and made me cry, and then put me back together and gave me hope. It’s one of those stories that will stay with me, and one that I’ll be recommending to fellow parents and teachers.
Particularly noteworthy is that Toalson points out that the standards of psychiatric care are designed for neurotypical brains. This adds an extra layer of challenge for people with autism, as hospitalization causes extra stress by interrupting routines, which they may interpret as trauma. That isn’t something that gets talked about enough, and it needs to be part of the conversation.
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
"The best thing we can do is / take it one day at a time / and love each other / as hard as we can / for as long as we have."
I loved this! It was so moving and such a beautiful, accessible story of mental health, inpatient psychiatric care, and the weight of mental crisis not just on the person directly experiencing it but on their loved ones and wider community. As someone who's struggled a lot with mental illness and needed inpatient care, this was really affirming and made me even more grateful for the loved ones who showed up for me in those times. I really appreciated the nuance of Brooks's complicated feelings about his brother, as well as the author's note about her family's own experiences and the complexity of mental healthcare for people with autism or other neurodivergence. And as heavy as the subject matter is, the book never felt dreary or tedious. Brooks worries about (and loves, and resents, and supports) his brother, but that's not the only thing in his life. Thank you Edelweiss for the ARC! This is going to make so many kids feel seen and help others expand their perception of the world!
I loved this! It was so moving and such a beautiful, accessible story of mental health, inpatient psychiatric care, and the weight of mental crisis not just on the person directly experiencing it but on their loved ones and wider community. As someone who's struggled a lot with mental illness and needed inpatient care, this was really affirming and made me even more grateful for the loved ones who showed up for me in those times. I really appreciated the nuance of Brooks's complicated feelings about his brother, as well as the author's note about her family's own experiences and the complexity of mental healthcare for people with autism or other neurodivergence. And as heavy as the subject matter is, the book never felt dreary or tedious. Brooks worries about (and loves, and resents, and supports) his brother, but that's not the only thing in his life. Thank you Edelweiss for the ARC! This is going to make so many kids feel seen and help others expand their perception of the world!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Writing My Brother Oliver in verse was a terrific choice to exhibit the raw emotions of Brooks' experience, clearing away unnecessary detail and narrative elements. We are in Brooks' head and heart for the duration, slowly finding out what led to Oliver's crisis and what the aftermath looks and feels like. The story shifts back and forth between present day and the days leading up to "the incident," which helps build tension.
With books like this, there's always one question for me - what might the story have been like told from Oliver's POV? Siblings of disabled and neurodivergent kids will always need great books that reflect their experiences accurately. But there seem to be many more of them than there are books that center disabled and neurodiverse kids. That wasn't this story, of course, and that's fine. But I do think there's an incredible story to be told about this type of experience from a kid like Oliver's perspective as well.
With books like this, there's always one question for me - what might the story have been like told from Oliver's POV? Siblings of disabled and neurodivergent kids will always need great books that reflect their experiences accurately. But there seem to be many more of them than there are books that center disabled and neurodiverse kids. That wasn't this story, of course, and that's fine. But I do think there's an incredible story to be told about this type of experience from a kid like Oliver's perspective as well.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
My Brother Oliver is a novel in verse about a thirteen year old boy who attempts suicide and how his twelve year old brother copes with having been the one to tell, the one who set off the incident, who feels that he has to be perfect to make up for his "on the spectrum" brother who takes most of the energy of his parents without realizing. It is an highly emotional book, written from the author's own experience. It is a hopeful book with a happy ending, but there are a lot of feels along the way. It is completely appropriate for older elementary grades on up.
I received a free advance reader copy.. All opinions are my own.
I received a free advance reader copy.. All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Brooks has always had to be the perfect son. There's no room for him to make demands, or get upset, or cause any sort of problem. Because his older brother Oliver sucks all the energy. Oliver is volatile, on the spectrum, but also clearly dealing with depression. Brooks feels guilty for letting adults know when Oliver contemplates suicide, but what Brooks really needs to understand is that it's really not his fault. A haunting novel in verse for middle grade readers.
May 22, 2026
Wow! This is perfect for bookapalooza. Covers a REALLY hard topic in the most beautiful and age appropriate way. And covers the topic of mental health with a new lens - what options are there for someone on the autism spectrum who can't tolerate a change in routine. Excited to get this into the hands of kids!
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
This was such a beautiful, heartbreaking, and important read. I’m so glad a story like this is going to exist for people of all ages to read, but especially for kids the sage age as Brooks who are going through similar situations and feeling similar things.
Review of advance copy
I received an ARC copy of this book from an indie book store. This book pulls on your heart strings like no other. It's relatable and teaches many lessons you didn't know you needed to hear. I think everyone, all ages, should read the story of Oliver and Brooks.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
A compelling exploration of the before and after of an attempted suicide and the guilt those around the person experience.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 20, 2026
Wow. A wonderful novel in verse about two middle school age brothers. Involves bullying, autism, depression and brotherly love.
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
E ARC provided by Edelweiss Plus
In this novel in verse, Brooks is very upset that he ruined his brother Oliver's birthday. After weeks of worsening depression, bullying at school, and more frequent outbursts at home, Oliver comes across a note his brother has written listing why he should die, with a sketch of how he would make this happen. Brooks has taken the information directly to people at school, who contact his parents in time to avert a tragedy. Brooks is feeling guilty that his brother is in treatment at Clearview instead of being at home, and even blames himself for his brother's suicidal ideation. Oliver's friends have grown apart from him, and are rather mean about turning down his birthday party invitation, and one student, Noel, bullies Oliver relentlessly. Brooks has always been the "good kid", since his older brother is very talented but also frequently has meltdowns, so keeps all of his fear and grief to himself as the family visits Oliver at Clearview in the evenings. Brooks does join choir and drops out of orchestra, which he didn't enjoy, and has some success there. He's struggling a bit himself with friendships. Rocco is still there for him, but their friend Jill has distanced herself because of the mean things middle schoolers say. The book goes back and forth between the events leading up to Oliver's crisis, and following the progress that he makes in treatment while Brooks is blaming himself. Eventually, Brooks is able to talk to his parents about why he feels guilty. Oliver is able to come home to a supportive network of friends and family, and the family starts to heal.
Strengths: There was a very helpful note at the end of the book explaining that this story was based on the author's own experience with her son's suicide attempt, and there is a trigger warning at the beginning, so readers know what to expect. Brooks is an engaging character who is frustrated by his brother's behavior, but still loves him very much. While it is hinted that Oliver is on the autism spectrum and his actions seem to clearly indicate that, it is not stated. It was fantastic to see that everyone who came in contact with Oliver and either heard him mention that he wanted to die (a bus driver), or saw the list (a friend who showed Brooks), did what they were supposed to do and contacted someone. Brooks even runs to the office to talk to an adult; it surprised me the parents weren't contacted immediately. Seeing Oliver in Clearview wasn't easy, but it was good that he was getting help. People do step up to help Brooks, but it is somewhat realistic that his parents don't pay as much attention to him while they are navigating Oliver's treatment, but they do eventually talk and unravel why he feels so guilty.
Weaknesses: We have a well developed program of "suicide prevention" lessons for the students in my school; the state of Ohio mandates that we deliver these. Students are told again and again that if they have ANY thoughts that another student might hurt themselves, they should immediately tell someone, so Brook's all encompassing guilt that he told on his brother and his birthday was ruined seemed odd to me. This hit a bit close to home for me; not all people with suicidal ideation exhibit noticeable clues in the same way that Oliver does.
What I really think: This is a good choice for students who benefitted from reading Bishops' Things You Can't Say or Morrison's Coming Up Short.
In this novel in verse, Brooks is very upset that he ruined his brother Oliver's birthday. After weeks of worsening depression, bullying at school, and more frequent outbursts at home, Oliver comes across a note his brother has written listing why he should die, with a sketch of how he would make this happen. Brooks has taken the information directly to people at school, who contact his parents in time to avert a tragedy. Brooks is feeling guilty that his brother is in treatment at Clearview instead of being at home, and even blames himself for his brother's suicidal ideation. Oliver's friends have grown apart from him, and are rather mean about turning down his birthday party invitation, and one student, Noel, bullies Oliver relentlessly. Brooks has always been the "good kid", since his older brother is very talented but also frequently has meltdowns, so keeps all of his fear and grief to himself as the family visits Oliver at Clearview in the evenings. Brooks does join choir and drops out of orchestra, which he didn't enjoy, and has some success there. He's struggling a bit himself with friendships. Rocco is still there for him, but their friend Jill has distanced herself because of the mean things middle schoolers say. The book goes back and forth between the events leading up to Oliver's crisis, and following the progress that he makes in treatment while Brooks is blaming himself. Eventually, Brooks is able to talk to his parents about why he feels guilty. Oliver is able to come home to a supportive network of friends and family, and the family starts to heal.
Strengths: There was a very helpful note at the end of the book explaining that this story was based on the author's own experience with her son's suicide attempt, and there is a trigger warning at the beginning, so readers know what to expect. Brooks is an engaging character who is frustrated by his brother's behavior, but still loves him very much. While it is hinted that Oliver is on the autism spectrum and his actions seem to clearly indicate that, it is not stated. It was fantastic to see that everyone who came in contact with Oliver and either heard him mention that he wanted to die (a bus driver), or saw the list (a friend who showed Brooks), did what they were supposed to do and contacted someone. Brooks even runs to the office to talk to an adult; it surprised me the parents weren't contacted immediately. Seeing Oliver in Clearview wasn't easy, but it was good that he was getting help. People do step up to help Brooks, but it is somewhat realistic that his parents don't pay as much attention to him while they are navigating Oliver's treatment, but they do eventually talk and unravel why he feels so guilty.
Weaknesses: We have a well developed program of "suicide prevention" lessons for the students in my school; the state of Ohio mandates that we deliver these. Students are told again and again that if they have ANY thoughts that another student might hurt themselves, they should immediately tell someone, so Brook's all encompassing guilt that he told on his brother and his birthday was ruined seemed odd to me. This hit a bit close to home for me; not all people with suicidal ideation exhibit noticeable clues in the same way that Oliver does.
What I really think: This is a good choice for students who benefitted from reading Bishops' Things You Can't Say or Morrison's Coming Up Short.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews