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An Inconvenient Widow: The Torment, Trial, and Triumph of Mary Todd Lincoln
A revelatory new biography of one of the most misunderstood and vilified First Ladies in American history: Mary Todd Lincoln.
Mary Lincoln was at the center of politics at a time when society’s expectations for women were rigid and circumscribed. The product of Southern aristocracy, she grew up among an influential clan of politicians and elites who founded Lexington, Kentucky. Mary’s early exposure to the male-dominated world of politics instilled in her a keen political acumen and a fierce ambition. Proclaiming as a child that she was destined to become the wife of a president, she played a crucial role in boosting her husband to greatness.
But her hopes for a triumphant experience at the pinnacle of power were lost to the Civil War and unfathomable family tragedies. Still, Mary persevered. She steadfastly supported the Union war effort, visited encampments, tended to wounded soldiers, and generously donated money and gifts to refugees from slavery. She was an unconventional, larger-than-life character who dressed too ostentatiously, grieved too publicly, suffered a shopping addiction, and seemed unable or unwilling to corral her emotions, her temper, and her opinions. She made enemies—influential men who wrote her story for her, often unfairly. After Lincoln was assassinated, she was all but abandoned by the nation he had given his life to defend and preserve.
Former Washington Post writer and columnist Lois Romano rectifies the tortured legacy of Mary Todd Lincoln, who was failed at nearly every turn in her widowhood—by her family, by her government, by medical professionals ill-equipped to diagnose her mental illness, and finally, by history. Romano draws on hundreds of archives, letters, and memoirs to provide the most complete portrait—of not simply of an inconvenient widow, but of a brilliant and flawed woman, who possessed uncommon tenacity in the face of extraordinary adversity and personal torment, and helped launch one of America’s greatest presidents.
Mary Lincoln was at the center of politics at a time when society’s expectations for women were rigid and circumscribed. The product of Southern aristocracy, she grew up among an influential clan of politicians and elites who founded Lexington, Kentucky. Mary’s early exposure to the male-dominated world of politics instilled in her a keen political acumen and a fierce ambition. Proclaiming as a child that she was destined to become the wife of a president, she played a crucial role in boosting her husband to greatness.
But her hopes for a triumphant experience at the pinnacle of power were lost to the Civil War and unfathomable family tragedies. Still, Mary persevered. She steadfastly supported the Union war effort, visited encampments, tended to wounded soldiers, and generously donated money and gifts to refugees from slavery. She was an unconventional, larger-than-life character who dressed too ostentatiously, grieved too publicly, suffered a shopping addiction, and seemed unable or unwilling to corral her emotions, her temper, and her opinions. She made enemies—influential men who wrote her story for her, often unfairly. After Lincoln was assassinated, she was all but abandoned by the nation he had given his life to defend and preserve.
Former Washington Post writer and columnist Lois Romano rectifies the tortured legacy of Mary Todd Lincoln, who was failed at nearly every turn in her widowhood—by her family, by her government, by medical professionals ill-equipped to diagnose her mental illness, and finally, by history. Romano draws on hundreds of archives, letters, and memoirs to provide the most complete portrait—of not simply of an inconvenient widow, but of a brilliant and flawed woman, who possessed uncommon tenacity in the face of extraordinary adversity and personal torment, and helped launch one of America’s greatest presidents.
480 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication May 19, 2026
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March 1, 2026
You know, she got a raw deal. - Bill Clinton
With that one comment Clinton sums up the life of Mary Todd Lincoln. Her life was one long story of grief and loss. Yet, without looking at the whole story everyone looking in decided she was insane.
Nowadays, she would have had therapy and medication that actually helped her. Back then all she had was mediums claiming that she can talk to her lost loved ones more time and more money than she knew what to do with.
She was a First Lady who was ahead of her time. She tried to keep spirits up during one of the worst times in our nation’s history. Yet she was judged because she spent money and had family on the wrong side of the war.
While people ridiculed her and made her out to be crazy, she buried three YOUNG sons and was sitting right next to her husband when he got shot.
We praised Jackie Kennedy who had similar circumstances. Yet, history has made Mary Lincoln out to be insane. Where’s the fairness?
This book is a must read for history buffs and is especially important during Women’s History Month.
Thank you to Netgalley for the chance to read an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
With that one comment Clinton sums up the life of Mary Todd Lincoln. Her life was one long story of grief and loss. Yet, without looking at the whole story everyone looking in decided she was insane.
Nowadays, she would have had therapy and medication that actually helped her. Back then all she had was mediums claiming that she can talk to her lost loved ones more time and more money than she knew what to do with.
She was a First Lady who was ahead of her time. She tried to keep spirits up during one of the worst times in our nation’s history. Yet she was judged because she spent money and had family on the wrong side of the war.
While people ridiculed her and made her out to be crazy, she buried three YOUNG sons and was sitting right next to her husband when he got shot.
We praised Jackie Kennedy who had similar circumstances. Yet, history has made Mary Lincoln out to be insane. Where’s the fairness?
This book is a must read for history buffs and is especially important during Women’s History Month.
Thank you to Netgalley for the chance to read an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
February 19, 2026
An Inconvenient Widow: The Torment, Trial, and Triumph of Mary Todd Lincoln by Lois Romano is a fascinating look at a traditionally misunderstood figure in American history.
This is a fabulous, engaging, fascinating, and illuminating biography on a complex and misunderstood woman that has been traditionally villainized and dismissed. Far from being a hurdle and inconvenience, she contributed far more to our nation’s history than we ever realized.
This book was well-researched, engaging, and easy to read. I truly learned so much about Mrs. Lincoln and I highly recommend.
5/5 stars
Thank you NG and Simon & Schuster for this wonderful arc and in return I am submitting my unbiased and voluntary review and opinion.
I am posting this review to my GR and Bookbub accounts immediately and will post it to my Amazon, Instagram, and B&N accounts upon publication on 5/19/26.
This is a fabulous, engaging, fascinating, and illuminating biography on a complex and misunderstood woman that has been traditionally villainized and dismissed. Far from being a hurdle and inconvenience, she contributed far more to our nation’s history than we ever realized.
This book was well-researched, engaging, and easy to read. I truly learned so much about Mrs. Lincoln and I highly recommend.
5/5 stars
Thank you NG and Simon & Schuster for this wonderful arc and in return I am submitting my unbiased and voluntary review and opinion.
I am posting this review to my GR and Bookbub accounts immediately and will post it to my Amazon, Instagram, and B&N accounts upon publication on 5/19/26.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Does the world need another sympathetic biography of Mary Lincoln? There’s very little middle ground when it comes to one of our most vilified First Ladies, so anyone writing about her typically does so with a point of view firmly in place. Some biographers despise her so much that their books read like diatribes. Others are so compassionate toward her that their books read like whitewashes.
Romano clearly went into this project with the aim of rehabilitating Mary Lincoln’s reputation. So it’s already apparent up front, on which end of the love-her-or-hate-her divide this book is going to plant its flag. What differentiates this effort from earlier, “definitive” sympathetic biographies from the likes of Ruth Painter Randall and Jean Baker, is that Romano moves ever-so-slightly closer to that elusive middle ground. She looks for ways to praise Mary Lincoln, but doesn’t shy away from acknowledging her faults - to an extent.
Romano gives Mary credit for being politically savvy, and for supporting and encouraging her husband during his rise to the presidency. Some of it is a little over the top, as in “Mary was the consummate cheerleader, often shaking him free of his melancholy” (I’ve never heard “Mary Lincoln” and “consummate cheerleader” in the same sentence before.) Parts of the soaring introduction can be a bit much, too: “This is the story of a woman who would not be defeated,” Romano gushes. And aside from it being a nice alliterative word choice, I’m not sure what the “triumph” in the book’s subtitle “The Torment, Trial and Triumph of Mary Lincoln” refers to exactly, other than to imply that this is a happy-ending, victory-over-tragedy story, which it’s not really.
Mostly, Romano wrestles with how to explain Mary’s worst traits - how much is she to blame for her own bad decisions, actions and judgments, and how much of that was due to mental illness and therefore out of her control? “My purpose is not to excuse or whitewash Mary's behavior,” Romano explains. “Her actions were, at many times, egregious. She could be self-centered, dishonest, and tone deaf.” But, more often than not, there is something else to blame.
I don’t doubt that Mary Lincoln suffered from some undiagnosed mental issues. But her every fault here seems chalked up to a disorder. Her volatile mood swings? Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Her avariciousness? Peniaphobia. Her spendthrift ways? Compulsive Shopping Disorder. Her penchant for cozying up to shady characters? A childhood bereft of love and attention. Just about anything else following the deaths of her husband and three of her four sons? PTSD.
There may well be some truth to some of this, but together, it reads as if Mary only had agency for her positive actions and attributes but was blameless for her negative ones. For example, she’s portrayed as an active political partner to her husband, but when it comes to her association with “opportunists and rogues” during his presidency, she suddenly becomes passive, as they’re portrayed as the ones who were seeking to take advantage of her and not the other way around.
Other times, Romano dismisses criticism by blaming the critics, particularly those she deems sexist. “Many male chroniclers of history would refuse to accept that Lincoln was unruffled by his spouse’s mercurial temperament,” she observes. She dismisses other criticism of Mary as “a jumble of hearsay and gossip, almost all of it posited by men.” And “when influential men didn’t get what they wanted, it was far easier for them to crucify Mary than take on the president.”
Was all of the criticism directed toward Mary simply sexist and without merit though? “The nastiness toward Mary seemed never-ending, often from those who never met her,” Romano writes, before continuing with “Unfortunately, at times she helped feed the accepted view of her with some indiscretions and missteps.” So here, Mary is portrayed as more deserving of the very criticism that Romano had just suggested was unwarranted. Which is it then?
It’s this balance between acknowledging Mary’s faults and explaining them away that the book can struggle to maintain. It’s not too harsh, and not too forgiving, but in trying to find a middle ground, it can come across as trying to have it both ways.
The Lincolns’ visit to City Point late in the war is typically a true test of a sympathetic Mary Lincoln biographer. Mary’s outrageous outbursts are so well-documented, they can’t be waved away - though some try. While attempting to be sympathetic, even Randall acknowledged that “Mrs. Lincoln went berserk,” and Baker more circumspectly wrote of her “high dudgeon.” Romano, too, acknowledges Mary’s bad behavior but, barring any better explanation, again concludes that her mental illness was likely to blame: “There was little else to conclude other than Mary was deteriorating mentally.”
The book’s title of “Inconvenient Widow,” and its subtitle referencing her post-assassination torment and trial, suggests that the main focus is going to be on Mary’s life after her husband’s death. Only roughly the last quarter of the book is about this period of her life, though. And events like her pleas for money, her insanity trial and commitment, and her nomadic widowhood are described rather swiftly and matter-of-factly. Romano doesn’t quite vilify Robert Lincoln for engineering Mary’s insanity trial, but does suggest that he was motivated more by wanting to avoid the public embarrassment she caused him, than he was about actual concern for his mother. Then she oddly-sympathetically speculates that maybe stress and pressure and trauma affected his judgment, too.
It’s difficult to know whether to condemn Mary Lincoln for her worst behaviors, or to feel sorry for her if they were indeed out of her control. She’s probably deserving of a good mix of both. Romano is forced to concede that “she was a difficult woman. She was histrionic, self-focused, strong-willed, and impulsive, sometimes irrational, even dishonest at times.” But “she was also kind and generous to many, loved her children and husband unconditionally, and was loyal to her country.” She suffered losses most of us can’t imagine, and suffered mental illnesses that will never be adequately diagnosed and certainly were never treated. But she also had plenty of faults, as do we all, for which she should not be held entirely blameless.
This is not a bad book by any means. It’s more honest than some that have come before, but it doesn’t actually add a whole lot aside from some new ways to explain Mary’s behavior. Those who have never read about her before, or are inclined to feel sympathy for her, will very likely enjoy this book a great deal. Those who despise her, or are hoping for something new to justify another Mary Lincoln biography, will not find what they’re looking for here.
As a work of popular history, this does the job. As a work of new scholarship, it falls short. And as an attempt to tell the definitive story of perhaps our most maligned and misunderstood First Lady, it’s a step in the right direction. But we haven’t quite gotten there yet.
Thanks to NetGalley and publisher Simon & Schuster for providing an advance copy of this book for review, ahead of its May 19th release.
Romano clearly went into this project with the aim of rehabilitating Mary Lincoln’s reputation. So it’s already apparent up front, on which end of the love-her-or-hate-her divide this book is going to plant its flag. What differentiates this effort from earlier, “definitive” sympathetic biographies from the likes of Ruth Painter Randall and Jean Baker, is that Romano moves ever-so-slightly closer to that elusive middle ground. She looks for ways to praise Mary Lincoln, but doesn’t shy away from acknowledging her faults - to an extent.
Romano gives Mary credit for being politically savvy, and for supporting and encouraging her husband during his rise to the presidency. Some of it is a little over the top, as in “Mary was the consummate cheerleader, often shaking him free of his melancholy” (I’ve never heard “Mary Lincoln” and “consummate cheerleader” in the same sentence before.) Parts of the soaring introduction can be a bit much, too: “This is the story of a woman who would not be defeated,” Romano gushes. And aside from it being a nice alliterative word choice, I’m not sure what the “triumph” in the book’s subtitle “The Torment, Trial and Triumph of Mary Lincoln” refers to exactly, other than to imply that this is a happy-ending, victory-over-tragedy story, which it’s not really.
Mostly, Romano wrestles with how to explain Mary’s worst traits - how much is she to blame for her own bad decisions, actions and judgments, and how much of that was due to mental illness and therefore out of her control? “My purpose is not to excuse or whitewash Mary's behavior,” Romano explains. “Her actions were, at many times, egregious. She could be self-centered, dishonest, and tone deaf.” But, more often than not, there is something else to blame.
I don’t doubt that Mary Lincoln suffered from some undiagnosed mental issues. But her every fault here seems chalked up to a disorder. Her volatile mood swings? Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Her avariciousness? Peniaphobia. Her spendthrift ways? Compulsive Shopping Disorder. Her penchant for cozying up to shady characters? A childhood bereft of love and attention. Just about anything else following the deaths of her husband and three of her four sons? PTSD.
There may well be some truth to some of this, but together, it reads as if Mary only had agency for her positive actions and attributes but was blameless for her negative ones. For example, she’s portrayed as an active political partner to her husband, but when it comes to her association with “opportunists and rogues” during his presidency, she suddenly becomes passive, as they’re portrayed as the ones who were seeking to take advantage of her and not the other way around.
Other times, Romano dismisses criticism by blaming the critics, particularly those she deems sexist. “Many male chroniclers of history would refuse to accept that Lincoln was unruffled by his spouse’s mercurial temperament,” she observes. She dismisses other criticism of Mary as “a jumble of hearsay and gossip, almost all of it posited by men.” And “when influential men didn’t get what they wanted, it was far easier for them to crucify Mary than take on the president.”
Was all of the criticism directed toward Mary simply sexist and without merit though? “The nastiness toward Mary seemed never-ending, often from those who never met her,” Romano writes, before continuing with “Unfortunately, at times she helped feed the accepted view of her with some indiscretions and missteps.” So here, Mary is portrayed as more deserving of the very criticism that Romano had just suggested was unwarranted. Which is it then?
It’s this balance between acknowledging Mary’s faults and explaining them away that the book can struggle to maintain. It’s not too harsh, and not too forgiving, but in trying to find a middle ground, it can come across as trying to have it both ways.
The Lincolns’ visit to City Point late in the war is typically a true test of a sympathetic Mary Lincoln biographer. Mary’s outrageous outbursts are so well-documented, they can’t be waved away - though some try. While attempting to be sympathetic, even Randall acknowledged that “Mrs. Lincoln went berserk,” and Baker more circumspectly wrote of her “high dudgeon.” Romano, too, acknowledges Mary’s bad behavior but, barring any better explanation, again concludes that her mental illness was likely to blame: “There was little else to conclude other than Mary was deteriorating mentally.”
The book’s title of “Inconvenient Widow,” and its subtitle referencing her post-assassination torment and trial, suggests that the main focus is going to be on Mary’s life after her husband’s death. Only roughly the last quarter of the book is about this period of her life, though. And events like her pleas for money, her insanity trial and commitment, and her nomadic widowhood are described rather swiftly and matter-of-factly. Romano doesn’t quite vilify Robert Lincoln for engineering Mary’s insanity trial, but does suggest that he was motivated more by wanting to avoid the public embarrassment she caused him, than he was about actual concern for his mother. Then she oddly-sympathetically speculates that maybe stress and pressure and trauma affected his judgment, too.
It’s difficult to know whether to condemn Mary Lincoln for her worst behaviors, or to feel sorry for her if they were indeed out of her control. She’s probably deserving of a good mix of both. Romano is forced to concede that “she was a difficult woman. She was histrionic, self-focused, strong-willed, and impulsive, sometimes irrational, even dishonest at times.” But “she was also kind and generous to many, loved her children and husband unconditionally, and was loyal to her country.” She suffered losses most of us can’t imagine, and suffered mental illnesses that will never be adequately diagnosed and certainly were never treated. But she also had plenty of faults, as do we all, for which she should not be held entirely blameless.
This is not a bad book by any means. It’s more honest than some that have come before, but it doesn’t actually add a whole lot aside from some new ways to explain Mary’s behavior. Those who have never read about her before, or are inclined to feel sympathy for her, will very likely enjoy this book a great deal. Those who despise her, or are hoping for something new to justify another Mary Lincoln biography, will not find what they’re looking for here.
As a work of popular history, this does the job. As a work of new scholarship, it falls short. And as an attempt to tell the definitive story of perhaps our most maligned and misunderstood First Lady, it’s a step in the right direction. But we haven’t quite gotten there yet.
Thanks to NetGalley and publisher Simon & Schuster for providing an advance copy of this book for review, ahead of its May 19th release.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
An Inconvenient Widow: The Torment, Trial, and Triumph of Mary Todd Lincoln by Lois Romano is a look at the lady beside one of if not the most admired Presidents. It’s well-researched, too: nearly a full half of the book’s length is due to footnotes and bibliography, which is a good sign.
Here’s the thing with books about Mary: there’s very little grey. She was either a crazy, evil woman who did every terrible thing you can conceive of (and many you can’t!) and Lincoln excelled despite her, OR she is a saint, maligned by people who hated her simply because She Was A Woman, and Lincoln excelled solely because of her. So which is this one?
It is probably the most balanced account of her that I’ve come across, but when it comes down to one or the other, Mary is always treated more gently. After years of unfair maligning, I suppose a tendency to protect her can be forgiven.
Negative thoughts:
-There are two different men described as being fat which really doesn’t add anything to the text. Their weight has no bearing—what does it matter that Davis is “corpulent”—and it’s strange the author felt the need to include it while simultaneously being frustrated that men would comment on Mary’s weight.
-As I said above, I think in some instances the author might have extended Mary more grace than she afforded others who were her contemporaries or more grace than was warranted. For example: Robert freaking out about his mom making scandal by selling her clothes. Sure, she should have been able to do that, but of course she wasn’t and she knew it would be troublesome. The author thinks his distress was overblown even if he was setting up a business and under stress; I think if Mary was under stress and worrying about Robert, allowances would have been given her. Another is the fact that Robert couldn’t keep her in his house and said it was due to her bad treatment of servants and interfering with his wife’s household management. We’re asked to think how abandoned she would feel, but—that’s consequences of her own actions, and I’m inclined to believe it because even when she first married Lincoln, there are passages in this book where she struggled to keep help. In this SAME paragraph, the son of her nurse/guard/companion said his mother tried to quit numerous times, and I don’t doubt for a second that Mary wouldn’t try to influence at least a portion of running the household.
In the epilogue, there’s musing about how Robert didn’t do enough to protect her. I can’t imagine how the author or anyone else for that matter would handle a situation in which their mother is writing hundreds of letters to various people consistently asking for money and insulting and railing against them when they don’t do as she wished. The author also makes allowances for her, claiming that the voices she heard at the hotel might merely have been loud guests and not actually imaginary voices coming from the walls, and the description of an “Indian” pulling bones from her face and wires from her eyes might just be a description of migraines. We can acknowledge that she had more than her fair share of vitriol while simultaneously realising that some of the negative press could have been well earned. She publicly screamed at women for riding near her husband or speaking to him and demanded Lincoln fire the husband of one of these women at a dinner attended by others. Her servants quit and struggled to work for her. Her friends dwindled after the assassination as the years went on. This can’t ALL be due solely to negative, fabricated articles. And dismissal of Robert’s concern over finances? If my mother spent thousands and thousands of dollars and had dozens of trunks—64 at one count—and didn’t wear or use most of the things within them WHILE ALSO begging publicly and privately for money, I, too, would be VERY concerned.
Positive thoughts:
+The overview of Mary’s life (often obviously in context with what is happening to Abraham Lincoln at the time) I knew, but it was nice to touch on incidents deeper, such as with this biography. Much to do has been made over Mary being “crazy”, but if I can speak candidly, I would be acting crazy too if people kept me from my husband as he was dying, tried to dictate where he would be buried and not want to allow a space for my children and me to be alongside him, said that I had no claim to his body as he belonged to the people, stated I was a thief, and openly claimed that he never loved me at all. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! That’s not even factoring in the people who falsely flattered her for positions or her family who blamed her for their decisions to join the Confederacy or engage in corrupt business practices, or the friends and loved ones who found her grief unmanageable DIRECTLY after her husband was killed IN FRONT OF HER. And appointing the guard who was derelict in his duties the night Lincoln was killed to then watch over her?? How would ANYONE be composed, much less someone who had a history of mental illness?
+Sometimes history books are immensely dry, and other times they read almost like a novel. This is the latter, which always makes for a more enjoyable experience.
All in all, I think I came away with a better understanding of Mary as a person. This won’t be new ground for people who know the ins-and-outs of Lincoln, perhaps, but it will undoubtedly be a more sympathetic look at his partner. Recommended for those who might wish to know more about Mary Todd Lincoln from birth to death, or those looking to get a better grasp on Lincoln from the context of his relationship with his wife.
I received a copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Here’s the thing with books about Mary: there’s very little grey. She was either a crazy, evil woman who did every terrible thing you can conceive of (and many you can’t!) and Lincoln excelled despite her, OR she is a saint, maligned by people who hated her simply because She Was A Woman, and Lincoln excelled solely because of her. So which is this one?
It is probably the most balanced account of her that I’ve come across, but when it comes down to one or the other, Mary is always treated more gently. After years of unfair maligning, I suppose a tendency to protect her can be forgiven.
Negative thoughts:
-There are two different men described as being fat which really doesn’t add anything to the text. Their weight has no bearing—what does it matter that Davis is “corpulent”—and it’s strange the author felt the need to include it while simultaneously being frustrated that men would comment on Mary’s weight.
-As I said above, I think in some instances the author might have extended Mary more grace than she afforded others who were her contemporaries or more grace than was warranted. For example: Robert freaking out about his mom making scandal by selling her clothes. Sure, she should have been able to do that, but of course she wasn’t and she knew it would be troublesome. The author thinks his distress was overblown even if he was setting up a business and under stress; I think if Mary was under stress and worrying about Robert, allowances would have been given her. Another is the fact that Robert couldn’t keep her in his house and said it was due to her bad treatment of servants and interfering with his wife’s household management. We’re asked to think how abandoned she would feel, but—that’s consequences of her own actions, and I’m inclined to believe it because even when she first married Lincoln, there are passages in this book where she struggled to keep help. In this SAME paragraph, the son of her nurse/guard/companion said his mother tried to quit numerous times, and I don’t doubt for a second that Mary wouldn’t try to influence at least a portion of running the household.
In the epilogue, there’s musing about how Robert didn’t do enough to protect her. I can’t imagine how the author or anyone else for that matter would handle a situation in which their mother is writing hundreds of letters to various people consistently asking for money and insulting and railing against them when they don’t do as she wished. The author also makes allowances for her, claiming that the voices she heard at the hotel might merely have been loud guests and not actually imaginary voices coming from the walls, and the description of an “Indian” pulling bones from her face and wires from her eyes might just be a description of migraines. We can acknowledge that she had more than her fair share of vitriol while simultaneously realising that some of the negative press could have been well earned. She publicly screamed at women for riding near her husband or speaking to him and demanded Lincoln fire the husband of one of these women at a dinner attended by others. Her servants quit and struggled to work for her. Her friends dwindled after the assassination as the years went on. This can’t ALL be due solely to negative, fabricated articles. And dismissal of Robert’s concern over finances? If my mother spent thousands and thousands of dollars and had dozens of trunks—64 at one count—and didn’t wear or use most of the things within them WHILE ALSO begging publicly and privately for money, I, too, would be VERY concerned.
Positive thoughts:
+The overview of Mary’s life (often obviously in context with what is happening to Abraham Lincoln at the time) I knew, but it was nice to touch on incidents deeper, such as with this biography. Much to do has been made over Mary being “crazy”, but if I can speak candidly, I would be acting crazy too if people kept me from my husband as he was dying, tried to dictate where he would be buried and not want to allow a space for my children and me to be alongside him, said that I had no claim to his body as he belonged to the people, stated I was a thief, and openly claimed that he never loved me at all. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! That’s not even factoring in the people who falsely flattered her for positions or her family who blamed her for their decisions to join the Confederacy or engage in corrupt business practices, or the friends and loved ones who found her grief unmanageable DIRECTLY after her husband was killed IN FRONT OF HER. And appointing the guard who was derelict in his duties the night Lincoln was killed to then watch over her?? How would ANYONE be composed, much less someone who had a history of mental illness?
+Sometimes history books are immensely dry, and other times they read almost like a novel. This is the latter, which always makes for a more enjoyable experience.
All in all, I think I came away with a better understanding of Mary as a person. This won’t be new ground for people who know the ins-and-outs of Lincoln, perhaps, but it will undoubtedly be a more sympathetic look at his partner. Recommended for those who might wish to know more about Mary Todd Lincoln from birth to death, or those looking to get a better grasp on Lincoln from the context of his relationship with his wife.
I received a copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I’ve read books about Mary Todd Lincoln over the years and knew she was seen as mentally ill, difficult, reckless with money and so on. But, through Romano’s book, I came to realize much of Mary’s legacy was shaped by men of her era.
Mary Lincoln had a difficult personality. She was outspoken and had an interest in politics. She lost her mother when she was a child and had a rocky relationship (at best) with her stepmother. As the daughter of a slave-holding family from Kentucky, her loyalties were questioned during the Civil War. She was assumed by Washington society to be a country bumpkin because she was moving to DC from the then-frontier of Illinois. As a mother, she buried three children. As a wife, she was splattered with her husband’s blood at his assassination. Her oldest son had her committed to an insane asylum with the help of doctors who had never examined Mary.
And that’s where her legacy ends. But it was a legacy shaped mainly by men who didn’t know or like Mary. Who didn’t take into account how tragedy shaped her responses to the world. And didn’t care. She ran counter to societal expectations for women and was punished for it. As the widow of the first assassinated President, the government didn’t know what to do with her, and as a result treated belittled and dismissed her.
Romano’s book, An Inconvenient Widow The Torment, Trial, and Triumph of Mary Todd Lincoln, sees Mary as a complicated person, and not just a one-dimensional caricature. In her well-researched biography Mary’s legacy is re-written by looking at how trauma shaped Mary, starting with the death of her mother when Mary was a child. Romano also addresses the failure of the medical community in treating Mary’s mental health. Mental illness was poorly understood at the time, and treatment was abysmal.
After reading this book, I have a better understanding of how societal perceptions, trauma, and the power of others around Mary shaped her legacy, giving us a warped perception of complicated woman.
Mary Lincoln was a woman with a difficult personality, and Romano acknowledges that. But she also gives Mary a voice in shaping her own legacy, one that takes into account the multiple crushing personal tragedies she was forced to deal with on her own, the horrible way the government dismissed her after the murder of her husband, and the power of the men in her life to try to control her in ways they saw fit.
Don’t let the length of the book put you off. A significant part of the book is notes, bibliographies, acknowledgements, and an index. In such a well-researched book as this, notes and bibliographies consume a lot of pages.
I now have a new appreciation of Mary Lincoln after reading this book. 4/5 stars.
Thanks to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for an e-copy of the book. All opinions are my own.
Mary Lincoln had a difficult personality. She was outspoken and had an interest in politics. She lost her mother when she was a child and had a rocky relationship (at best) with her stepmother. As the daughter of a slave-holding family from Kentucky, her loyalties were questioned during the Civil War. She was assumed by Washington society to be a country bumpkin because she was moving to DC from the then-frontier of Illinois. As a mother, she buried three children. As a wife, she was splattered with her husband’s blood at his assassination. Her oldest son had her committed to an insane asylum with the help of doctors who had never examined Mary.
And that’s where her legacy ends. But it was a legacy shaped mainly by men who didn’t know or like Mary. Who didn’t take into account how tragedy shaped her responses to the world. And didn’t care. She ran counter to societal expectations for women and was punished for it. As the widow of the first assassinated President, the government didn’t know what to do with her, and as a result treated belittled and dismissed her.
Romano’s book, An Inconvenient Widow The Torment, Trial, and Triumph of Mary Todd Lincoln, sees Mary as a complicated person, and not just a one-dimensional caricature. In her well-researched biography Mary’s legacy is re-written by looking at how trauma shaped Mary, starting with the death of her mother when Mary was a child. Romano also addresses the failure of the medical community in treating Mary’s mental health. Mental illness was poorly understood at the time, and treatment was abysmal.
After reading this book, I have a better understanding of how societal perceptions, trauma, and the power of others around Mary shaped her legacy, giving us a warped perception of complicated woman.
Mary Lincoln was a woman with a difficult personality, and Romano acknowledges that. But she also gives Mary a voice in shaping her own legacy, one that takes into account the multiple crushing personal tragedies she was forced to deal with on her own, the horrible way the government dismissed her after the murder of her husband, and the power of the men in her life to try to control her in ways they saw fit.
Don’t let the length of the book put you off. A significant part of the book is notes, bibliographies, acknowledgements, and an index. In such a well-researched book as this, notes and bibliographies consume a lot of pages.
I now have a new appreciation of Mary Lincoln after reading this book. 4/5 stars.
Thanks to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for an e-copy of the book. All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Apt title for an engrossing read.
At times, she was just that for Lincoln's allies, enemies and her family. This appears to be a seemingly negative trait. However, readers learn that the flip side is that same 'inconvenience' masks some pretty remarkable positive traits (her belief in her husband's political trajectory, navigating the role others created for her as Confederate spy or Northern sympathizer, and surviving the loss of her beloved sons).
Prior to this read, had read a number of biographies about this fascinating First Lady; to name a few "The Emancipator's Wife", "An American Marriage", "Mary: Mrs. A. Lincoln", "The Madness of Mary Lincoln", and " Mrs. Lincoln's Dressmaker". Each Author seemed to explore a separate facet of her character. Found this book, "An Inconvenient Widow", to be the most balanced of the lot.
To launch the book, the Author starts with Mary Todd Lincoln's 1875 insanity trial. For most readers of history, this scandal was akin to a modern day Netflix drama. It was the remaining son and Lincoln legacy pitted against the tragic widow easily swayed by charlatans with a unhealthy shopping obsession. The Author teases the reader without fully sharing the outcome segueing into her childhood. It's not just facts and events but rather a look into how Mary Todd Lincoln might have felt with the death of her mother, the relatively quick remarriage of her father and the advent of additional siblings.
From there the Author traces how fervent Mary Todd felt about her politics. Her girlhood crush on Henry Clay, the Great Orator, would probably be akin to how modern day fans feel about their favorite pop star. It makes sense from a 21st century perspective that she would hitch her wagon so to speak to Abe Lincoln, a gangly country boy (albeit lawyer) with no political connections. Their quick engagement, abrupt decision to break up and to reunite is explored. No one will truly know the reason why and the Author acknowledges this.
Where this read excels is not excusing her behavior at times (spiteful, deaf to reality) but explains it within the context of her childhood, her mental health and her reality (who is supporting her). Despite this being a biography, this Author successfully manages to draw frustration, empathy, and understanding from this Reader. One example is seeing the motivation for Lincoln's former law partner, Herndon's, vile depiction of Mary. Another is viewing Robert Todd Lincoln's embarrassment takes precedence over the treatment of his mother.
Had Mary Todd Lincoln been alive at this time, believe she would be a force of nature in politics despite all that she experienced.
Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own
At times, she was just that for Lincoln's allies, enemies and her family. This appears to be a seemingly negative trait. However, readers learn that the flip side is that same 'inconvenience' masks some pretty remarkable positive traits (her belief in her husband's political trajectory, navigating the role others created for her as Confederate spy or Northern sympathizer, and surviving the loss of her beloved sons).
Prior to this read, had read a number of biographies about this fascinating First Lady; to name a few "The Emancipator's Wife", "An American Marriage", "Mary: Mrs. A. Lincoln", "The Madness of Mary Lincoln", and " Mrs. Lincoln's Dressmaker". Each Author seemed to explore a separate facet of her character. Found this book, "An Inconvenient Widow", to be the most balanced of the lot.
To launch the book, the Author starts with Mary Todd Lincoln's 1875 insanity trial. For most readers of history, this scandal was akin to a modern day Netflix drama. It was the remaining son and Lincoln legacy pitted against the tragic widow easily swayed by charlatans with a unhealthy shopping obsession. The Author teases the reader without fully sharing the outcome segueing into her childhood. It's not just facts and events but rather a look into how Mary Todd Lincoln might have felt with the death of her mother, the relatively quick remarriage of her father and the advent of additional siblings.
From there the Author traces how fervent Mary Todd felt about her politics. Her girlhood crush on Henry Clay, the Great Orator, would probably be akin to how modern day fans feel about their favorite pop star. It makes sense from a 21st century perspective that she would hitch her wagon so to speak to Abe Lincoln, a gangly country boy (albeit lawyer) with no political connections. Their quick engagement, abrupt decision to break up and to reunite is explored. No one will truly know the reason why and the Author acknowledges this.
Where this read excels is not excusing her behavior at times (spiteful, deaf to reality) but explains it within the context of her childhood, her mental health and her reality (who is supporting her). Despite this being a biography, this Author successfully manages to draw frustration, empathy, and understanding from this Reader. One example is seeing the motivation for Lincoln's former law partner, Herndon's, vile depiction of Mary. Another is viewing Robert Todd Lincoln's embarrassment takes precedence over the treatment of his mother.
Had Mary Todd Lincoln been alive at this time, believe she would be a force of nature in politics despite all that she experienced.
Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I rated this book 4.5 out of 5.
I truly am not sure what I learned in AP US History in high school or US History in college. I started reading this book and truly felt like 95% of the information in this book was entirely new to me. I had no idea that Mary Lincoln was institutionalized by her son, let alone that she and Abraham Lincoln had children. Needless to say, I was hooked from the introduction and devoured this book. Romano's writing was so engrossing that it brought Mary to life from page one.
I particularly enjoyed how this book followed the entire trajectory of Mary's life. As a person with barely any background knowledge on Mary's life, this book was a comprehensive and well-researched portrait. I found details of Mary's life interesting and her turbulent courtship with Abraham fascinating.
The most interesting part of the book for me, though, was Mary's behavior while Abraham was President. How she just went about buying things, and that she was attempting to revamp the White House, and found roadblocks at every turn. Romano's use of primary sources to fill in the picture of other people who viewed Mary as First Lady provided depth to her as a historical figure.
I do think that this book did focus a bit too much on the psychiatric assessment of both Mary and Abraham. While I think that there can be a measured evaluation of individuals even with the distance of time, it did feel a bit like there was a bit too much reliance on potential psychiatric diagnoses for explanations of events in the sources.
Learning about Mary's life after Abraham's death was tragic to learn about. Obviously, witnessing the events and then being told that he might recover could only have been a harrowing experience. I do wish that the dynamics of her son had been delved into a little more. It's possible that there is not enough in the sources, but I was interested in understanding her son's motivations more for having her institutionalized.
If you are a history lover and want to learn more about an important female figure in US history, I would recommend this book. Although Mary is not an entirely sympathetic figure, Romano does an excellent job of bringing a complex woman to life on the page.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
CONTENT WARNINGS
Graphic: Animal death, Bullying, Child death, Death, Gun violence, Mental illness, Racism, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Grief, Murder, Pregnancy, Alcohol, War, Injury/Injury detail, Classi
I truly am not sure what I learned in AP US History in high school or US History in college. I started reading this book and truly felt like 95% of the information in this book was entirely new to me. I had no idea that Mary Lincoln was institutionalized by her son, let alone that she and Abraham Lincoln had children. Needless to say, I was hooked from the introduction and devoured this book. Romano's writing was so engrossing that it brought Mary to life from page one.
I particularly enjoyed how this book followed the entire trajectory of Mary's life. As a person with barely any background knowledge on Mary's life, this book was a comprehensive and well-researched portrait. I found details of Mary's life interesting and her turbulent courtship with Abraham fascinating.
The most interesting part of the book for me, though, was Mary's behavior while Abraham was President. How she just went about buying things, and that she was attempting to revamp the White House, and found roadblocks at every turn. Romano's use of primary sources to fill in the picture of other people who viewed Mary as First Lady provided depth to her as a historical figure.
I do think that this book did focus a bit too much on the psychiatric assessment of both Mary and Abraham. While I think that there can be a measured evaluation of individuals even with the distance of time, it did feel a bit like there was a bit too much reliance on potential psychiatric diagnoses for explanations of events in the sources.
Learning about Mary's life after Abraham's death was tragic to learn about. Obviously, witnessing the events and then being told that he might recover could only have been a harrowing experience. I do wish that the dynamics of her son had been delved into a little more. It's possible that there is not enough in the sources, but I was interested in understanding her son's motivations more for having her institutionalized.
If you are a history lover and want to learn more about an important female figure in US history, I would recommend this book. Although Mary is not an entirely sympathetic figure, Romano does an excellent job of bringing a complex woman to life on the page.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
CONTENT WARNINGS
Graphic: Animal death, Bullying, Child death, Death, Gun violence, Mental illness, Racism, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Grief, Murder, Pregnancy, Alcohol, War, Injury/Injury detail, Classi
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
An authentic read – I felt that as I finished the last page.
Its strongest sections include the detail & examination that was created for The Duke & Duchess of Windsor’s (TDDoW) spiteful aligning along Germany & specifically, Hitler. I am not only recalling their self-named 1937 state visit that was not authorized. Historical facts agree with this author & do not paint a pretty picture of TDDoW in the years prior & during World War 2.
It is only my opinion that this previously mentioned section plus the arduous years spent as Governor of The Bahamas set this book apart from all the others who have tried. Here is when a 4 Star Read became a 5 Star.
Despite being a historical fiction book, the nipping at one another’s heels remains spot-on because don’t nearly all self-centered individuals tend to reflect in The Final Act? These two wouldn’t admit to regrets, but finding fault elsewhere? They had a steady & distorted sense of responsibility leading up to The Duke’s passing in 1972 . I don’t doubt these written exchanges. They just ring true.
Perhaps because I had recently finished the book, The Lotus Year, I didn’t fully agree with how The Duchess was portrayed in 1924-25. Still, it is 100+ years ago & who truly knows? I just find that too many both then & now didn’t understand the chemistry between the TDDoW.
My take is too many historians had to write sordid debaucherous acts into being able to swallow The Duke’s obsession & pursuit of Wallis. Spicy legends sell & fueled the hatred for TDDoW on both sides of the pond. Boudoir tips by geishas in China & opium dens in an exotic destination that few will ever see still captures attention. I tend to lean towards these being early smear campaigns created by greedy and/or jealous men & women.
As mentioned, I enjoy & am drawn to a books about TDDoW. I will add in the publisher’s notes a small connection I have. In addition to this recent connection, I was an exchange student for a semester in college in 1979 in England & France while Wallis was still hanging on. There was no shortage of distain for her even then in periodicals & in tv shows.
I have read most of the author’s other books & I would add this to the top of her works. The amount of research is impressive plus the credible sources. It is overall an open-minded portrayal of two reluctant & ill-prepared players in world history.
I thank NetGalley, Ballantine Publishing & the author, Melanie Benjamin for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for a fair & honest review.
Its strongest sections include the detail & examination that was created for The Duke & Duchess of Windsor’s (TDDoW) spiteful aligning along Germany & specifically, Hitler. I am not only recalling their self-named 1937 state visit that was not authorized. Historical facts agree with this author & do not paint a pretty picture of TDDoW in the years prior & during World War 2.
It is only my opinion that this previously mentioned section plus the arduous years spent as Governor of The Bahamas set this book apart from all the others who have tried. Here is when a 4 Star Read became a 5 Star.
Despite being a historical fiction book, the nipping at one another’s heels remains spot-on because don’t nearly all self-centered individuals tend to reflect in The Final Act? These two wouldn’t admit to regrets, but finding fault elsewhere? They had a steady & distorted sense of responsibility leading up to The Duke’s passing in 1972 . I don’t doubt these written exchanges. They just ring true.
Perhaps because I had recently finished the book, The Lotus Year, I didn’t fully agree with how The Duchess was portrayed in 1924-25. Still, it is 100+ years ago & who truly knows? I just find that too many both then & now didn’t understand the chemistry between the TDDoW.
My take is too many historians had to write sordid debaucherous acts into being able to swallow The Duke’s obsession & pursuit of Wallis. Spicy legends sell & fueled the hatred for TDDoW on both sides of the pond. Boudoir tips by geishas in China & opium dens in an exotic destination that few will ever see still captures attention. I tend to lean towards these being early smear campaigns created by greedy and/or jealous men & women.
As mentioned, I enjoy & am drawn to a books about TDDoW. I will add in the publisher’s notes a small connection I have. In addition to this recent connection, I was an exchange student for a semester in college in 1979 in England & France while Wallis was still hanging on. There was no shortage of distain for her even then in periodicals & in tv shows.
I have read most of the author’s other books & I would add this to the top of her works. The amount of research is impressive plus the credible sources. It is overall an open-minded portrayal of two reluctant & ill-prepared players in world history.
I thank NetGalley, Ballantine Publishing & the author, Melanie Benjamin for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for a fair & honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Oddly enough, I came away from this one wishing someone would do a serious look into the life of Robert Lincoln. While the idea of the son of Lincoln putting his mother into an asylum, Bellevue, gives me pause, as one who has dealt with a family member's increasingly erratic and even dangerous actions as dementia grew, I can also understand his sense of frustration and feelings of helpless. Not to say that Mary Todd Lincoln had dementia but many have theorized that she was bi-polar and that can be a difficult mental situation, too, so I can away with not only more empathy for Mary but her son, too. I was already aware of many of the big points of the book but this one, despite the title, provides a solid look at her life before Lincoln as well as after, too. Raised in a politically savvy, Southern leaning family that seemed to be torn apart by the Civil War, the multiple tragedies she endured certainly had an impact. That said, her frequently explosive, difficult personality, not to mention overspending in the public eye and her wandering about rootless after her days in the White House while dealing with financial issues, gained her few supporters.
I note there are several lengthy reviews already, so see no need to summarize the book. I knew enough about her going into the book to be intrigued but wasn't particularly sympathetic. Given her probably real medical/mental health issues, I did come away with more of an understanding of not just Mary but the times. My hunch is that most of you who read this one, probably history, Civil War, or Lincoln buffs, will come away the same. I honestly don't believe I'd have liked her much in real life, sadly, but at least I know some of the inner drive of what made her the woman she was. You'll learn some of the history of what and who shaped her, yes, as well as who/what shaped/drove those who, to paraphrase, told her story through their own eyes.
Bottom line, an intriguing, if sad read. I'm not sure she ever really did triumph as the title indicates, but she did persevere and, as I was happy to read, actually was able to reconcile with son Robert not long before her death in 1882. Thanks #SimonBSchuster for allowing me this early peek at a complicated woman who lived in complicated times. As we all do, she had issues, some medical, some surely just the way she was, and was misunderstood and given little sympathy. What a contrast to the way the world embraced Jacqueline Kennedy after her husband's assassination by her side. Two very different women in very different times, that's for sure.
I note there are several lengthy reviews already, so see no need to summarize the book. I knew enough about her going into the book to be intrigued but wasn't particularly sympathetic. Given her probably real medical/mental health issues, I did come away with more of an understanding of not just Mary but the times. My hunch is that most of you who read this one, probably history, Civil War, or Lincoln buffs, will come away the same. I honestly don't believe I'd have liked her much in real life, sadly, but at least I know some of the inner drive of what made her the woman she was. You'll learn some of the history of what and who shaped her, yes, as well as who/what shaped/drove those who, to paraphrase, told her story through their own eyes.
Bottom line, an intriguing, if sad read. I'm not sure she ever really did triumph as the title indicates, but she did persevere and, as I was happy to read, actually was able to reconcile with son Robert not long before her death in 1882. Thanks #SimonBSchuster for allowing me this early peek at a complicated woman who lived in complicated times. As we all do, she had issues, some medical, some surely just the way she was, and was misunderstood and given little sympathy. What a contrast to the way the world embraced Jacqueline Kennedy after her husband's assassination by her side. Two very different women in very different times, that's for sure.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Well written, this book explores the life of Mary Lincoln in depth. Like many others, I had the preconceived notion that she was emotionally unstable, moody and not an easy person to associate with in the White House.
Yet, I learned that there were two sides of Mary. She was diagnosed as mentally ill with paranoia and depression. However, she was also very educated especially for a woman in the 1800s.
This book starts with a timeline from 1818 to 1882 highlighting pertinent dates with events giving readers a glimpse of her life. Then there was the plunge revealing what exactly happened.
While thousands of books have been written about Abraham Lincoln, only a few hundred have explored the life of Mary Todd Lincoln. The author notes that she was a strong political partner helping her husband significantly which was later followed by other influential wives such as Rosalynn Carter, Nancy Reagan, Hilary Clinton and Michele Obama. When women were told to look up to men as powerful and righteous, Mary viewed that her marriage was on equal grounds.
However, Mary made some enemies along the way strategizing and manipulating key players with important outcomes. She also suffered from intense grief while living in the White House when her young son died. Then then when her beloved husband died, her world nearly stopped.
Mary’s only living son, Robert, was convinced that his mother needed to be confined to an asylum. He was concerned about her emotional instability and financial situation. She had tried to comfort herself by excessive spending. It also bothered Robert that she was obsessed with spiritualist -- someone who could perhaps connect her in the afterlife with Abraham Lincoln.
At the end, there are several lists of books, periodicals, newspapers, letters and documents used to write about Mary Lincoln. Lois Romano took highlights and skillfully represented the significance of Mary Todd Lincoln as a mother, wife and courageous woman. It’s impossible to close this book without thinking about her afterwards.
My thanks to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for this ARC with an expected release date of May 19, 2026. The views I share are my own.
Yet, I learned that there were two sides of Mary. She was diagnosed as mentally ill with paranoia and depression. However, she was also very educated especially for a woman in the 1800s.
This book starts with a timeline from 1818 to 1882 highlighting pertinent dates with events giving readers a glimpse of her life. Then there was the plunge revealing what exactly happened.
While thousands of books have been written about Abraham Lincoln, only a few hundred have explored the life of Mary Todd Lincoln. The author notes that she was a strong political partner helping her husband significantly which was later followed by other influential wives such as Rosalynn Carter, Nancy Reagan, Hilary Clinton and Michele Obama. When women were told to look up to men as powerful and righteous, Mary viewed that her marriage was on equal grounds.
However, Mary made some enemies along the way strategizing and manipulating key players with important outcomes. She also suffered from intense grief while living in the White House when her young son died. Then then when her beloved husband died, her world nearly stopped.
Mary’s only living son, Robert, was convinced that his mother needed to be confined to an asylum. He was concerned about her emotional instability and financial situation. She had tried to comfort herself by excessive spending. It also bothered Robert that she was obsessed with spiritualist -- someone who could perhaps connect her in the afterlife with Abraham Lincoln.
At the end, there are several lists of books, periodicals, newspapers, letters and documents used to write about Mary Lincoln. Lois Romano took highlights and skillfully represented the significance of Mary Todd Lincoln as a mother, wife and courageous woman. It’s impossible to close this book without thinking about her afterwards.
My thanks to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for this ARC with an expected release date of May 19, 2026. The views I share are my own.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Lincoln knew who he had married. from An Inconvenient Widow by Lois Romano
For several decades I have been reading about the First Ladies. Some propelled their husbands into office while others hated being in the public eye. Many moved into a White House that desperately needed upgrades. They have no official role, no salary, and no job description. They are vilified, glorified, and scrutinized.
No First Lady was given a worse treatment than Mary Lincoln. And none faced so many tragic losses. A beloved mother. Three sons. Her husband assassinated before her eyes. Her surviving son orchestrated her commitment to an asylum. The press and political enemies circulated vicious stories about her, and the country her husband gave his life to sidelined her.
Anyone who had suffered what Mary did would have suffered mental instability. And Mary was already high strung, perhaps bipolar and an undiagnosed diabetic. She was intelligent but easily manipulated by flatterers. Her PTSD fueled depression. Retail therapy landed her in debt. Like so many in the later 19th c, she turned to spiritualists hoping to contact her dead. Like her depressive husband, she was treated with toxic and addictive medications.
This biography does not cover up Mary’s flaws, but it redeems her gppd qualities. Mary was a quiet supporter of the wounded troops, an angel of mercy. She bolstered her husband’s flagging confidence and many knew he would never have achieved his greatness without her. Raised on a Southern plantation with slaves, she supported Emancipation before her husband. The biography shows how ‘fake news’ became accepted truths.
Lincoln truly loved Mary. He loved her social ease, her intelligence, her refinement, and found her attractive. Yet, they were opposites in temperament.
I recalled my own in-laws: he was phlegmatic and unemotional, she was volatile without self control. She once told me, tears in her eyes, that she didn’t know what would have become of her if she hadn’t married him. I think that is how Abe and Mary fit together.
Thanks to Simon & Schuster for a free book through NetGalley.
For several decades I have been reading about the First Ladies. Some propelled their husbands into office while others hated being in the public eye. Many moved into a White House that desperately needed upgrades. They have no official role, no salary, and no job description. They are vilified, glorified, and scrutinized.
No First Lady was given a worse treatment than Mary Lincoln. And none faced so many tragic losses. A beloved mother. Three sons. Her husband assassinated before her eyes. Her surviving son orchestrated her commitment to an asylum. The press and political enemies circulated vicious stories about her, and the country her husband gave his life to sidelined her.
Anyone who had suffered what Mary did would have suffered mental instability. And Mary was already high strung, perhaps bipolar and an undiagnosed diabetic. She was intelligent but easily manipulated by flatterers. Her PTSD fueled depression. Retail therapy landed her in debt. Like so many in the later 19th c, she turned to spiritualists hoping to contact her dead. Like her depressive husband, she was treated with toxic and addictive medications.
This biography does not cover up Mary’s flaws, but it redeems her gppd qualities. Mary was a quiet supporter of the wounded troops, an angel of mercy. She bolstered her husband’s flagging confidence and many knew he would never have achieved his greatness without her. Raised on a Southern plantation with slaves, she supported Emancipation before her husband. The biography shows how ‘fake news’ became accepted truths.
Lincoln truly loved Mary. He loved her social ease, her intelligence, her refinement, and found her attractive. Yet, they were opposites in temperament.
I recalled my own in-laws: he was phlegmatic and unemotional, she was volatile without self control. She once told me, tears in her eyes, that she didn’t know what would have become of her if she hadn’t married him. I think that is how Abe and Mary fit together.
Thanks to Simon & Schuster for a free book through NetGalley.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Mary Todd Lincoln was a woman thrust into the spotlight as America’s First Lady, only to have her world shatter with an assassin’s bullet. An Inconvenient Widow blows the lid off the myths surrounding one of history’s most misunderstood powerhouses.
The chaos after Abraham Lincoln’s shocking assassination, Mary drowns in grief, already scarred by the gut-wrenching losses of three young sons. Then come the betrayals: her own family turning against her, with her eldest son locking her away in an insane asylum. In an age where mental health care was a joke or worse, nonexistent, she battled financial ruin, fought tooth and nail for a widow’s pension and endured 17 years of brutal public backlash.
Mary wasn’t just a victim. This book paints her as a brilliant, sharp as a tack political mind, a resilient fighter who smashed through society’s ironclad rules for women. She was President Lincoln’s unbreakable partner on his path to the presidency, facing unimaginable torment with sheer, jaw-dropping strength. Flawed? Absolutely. Fierce? Indeed.
Veteran journalist Lois Romano dives deep into a treasure trove of letters, dusty archives, and raw memoirs to deliver the ultimate, no holds barred portrait. She shatters outdated stereotypes, calls out the epic fails of those who should’ve had her back (family, officials, doctors - everyone) and brings Mary’s full, fiery humanity roaring to life.
**I would like to express my gratitude to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with the opportunity to read this gifted ebook in exchange for an honest review. #ARC #NetGalley
#AnInconvenientWidow
The chaos after Abraham Lincoln’s shocking assassination, Mary drowns in grief, already scarred by the gut-wrenching losses of three young sons. Then come the betrayals: her own family turning against her, with her eldest son locking her away in an insane asylum. In an age where mental health care was a joke or worse, nonexistent, she battled financial ruin, fought tooth and nail for a widow’s pension and endured 17 years of brutal public backlash.
Mary wasn’t just a victim. This book paints her as a brilliant, sharp as a tack political mind, a resilient fighter who smashed through society’s ironclad rules for women. She was President Lincoln’s unbreakable partner on his path to the presidency, facing unimaginable torment with sheer, jaw-dropping strength. Flawed? Absolutely. Fierce? Indeed.
Veteran journalist Lois Romano dives deep into a treasure trove of letters, dusty archives, and raw memoirs to deliver the ultimate, no holds barred portrait. She shatters outdated stereotypes, calls out the epic fails of those who should’ve had her back (family, officials, doctors - everyone) and brings Mary’s full, fiery humanity roaring to life.
**I would like to express my gratitude to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with the opportunity to read this gifted ebook in exchange for an honest review. #ARC #NetGalley
#AnInconvenientWidow
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the ARC of Lois Romano's "An Inconvenient Widow."
In "An Inconvenient Widow," Lois Romano has presented a fascinating biography of Mary Todd Lincoln. Romano is entirely unbiased in this book and sought to present Mary Lincoln as the person she was rather than as the much-hated wife and crazy widow of Abraham Lincoln. Romano looks at Mary Lincoln's childhood and the early losses that shaped her personality as well as noting that there is evidence of mental illness within the Todd family, likely inherited by Mary. Romano stresses that while we cannot accurately look back and diagnose mental illness, historical records suggests that Mary Lincoln may have had what is now known as bipolar disorder. We will never know for sure. But what is apparent is her absolute devotion to her husband and her deep love of her children, two of whom died in childhood, and one at eighteen. Vilified by the press and public, sometimes for things entirely fabricated, and the horror of seeing her husband shot by her side, her already outrageous behavior spun into a cycle of grief and erratic behavior, culminating in her only surviving child committing her to an asylum.
Much of what we are taught about Mary Lincoln was written by people who detested her for one reason or another. Some of it was justified, and her feelings were entirely mutual. Much of it, however, was written by people who had never met her, and wrote their own accounts based on others', resulting in a history written like a game of telephone. Lois Romano sorted the truth from the many deceptions, creating a picture of Mary Lincoln that is human, flawed, and relatable.
In "An Inconvenient Widow," Lois Romano has presented a fascinating biography of Mary Todd Lincoln. Romano is entirely unbiased in this book and sought to present Mary Lincoln as the person she was rather than as the much-hated wife and crazy widow of Abraham Lincoln. Romano looks at Mary Lincoln's childhood and the early losses that shaped her personality as well as noting that there is evidence of mental illness within the Todd family, likely inherited by Mary. Romano stresses that while we cannot accurately look back and diagnose mental illness, historical records suggests that Mary Lincoln may have had what is now known as bipolar disorder. We will never know for sure. But what is apparent is her absolute devotion to her husband and her deep love of her children, two of whom died in childhood, and one at eighteen. Vilified by the press and public, sometimes for things entirely fabricated, and the horror of seeing her husband shot by her side, her already outrageous behavior spun into a cycle of grief and erratic behavior, culminating in her only surviving child committing her to an asylum.
Much of what we are taught about Mary Lincoln was written by people who detested her for one reason or another. Some of it was justified, and her feelings were entirely mutual. Much of it, however, was written by people who had never met her, and wrote their own accounts based on others', resulting in a history written like a game of telephone. Lois Romano sorted the truth from the many deceptions, creating a picture of Mary Lincoln that is human, flawed, and relatable.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I received an advance reader copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review on my Goodreads page. The biography will be released on May 19, 2026.
Before reading this, I had never explored a standalone biography of Mary Todd Lincoln, and I came away realizing just how much of her story exists in the shadows of her husband’s legacy. Like many, I was generally aware of her lifelong struggles with mental health, but I had little understanding of the profound and often tragic circumstances she endured following Abraham Lincoln’s assassination—including the startling and heartbreaking fact that she was later committed to an asylum at the urging of her own son.
This book is deeply researched and thoughtfully written, offering a nuanced and, at times, compassionate reassessment of a woman too often reduced to caricature. Rather than sensationalizing her hardships, the author presents Mary Todd Lincoln as a complex figure shaped by grief, societal pressures, and personal loss. The result feels, in many ways, like a rehabilitative effort—one that challenges long-held perceptions and invites the reader to reconsider her place in history.
Engaging, illuminating, and at times deeply moving, this biography is a worthwhile read for anyone interested in American history or in better understanding the human dimensions behind iconic figures. I highly recommend picking it up when it releases next month.
Before reading this, I had never explored a standalone biography of Mary Todd Lincoln, and I came away realizing just how much of her story exists in the shadows of her husband’s legacy. Like many, I was generally aware of her lifelong struggles with mental health, but I had little understanding of the profound and often tragic circumstances she endured following Abraham Lincoln’s assassination—including the startling and heartbreaking fact that she was later committed to an asylum at the urging of her own son.
This book is deeply researched and thoughtfully written, offering a nuanced and, at times, compassionate reassessment of a woman too often reduced to caricature. Rather than sensationalizing her hardships, the author presents Mary Todd Lincoln as a complex figure shaped by grief, societal pressures, and personal loss. The result feels, in many ways, like a rehabilitative effort—one that challenges long-held perceptions and invites the reader to reconsider her place in history.
Engaging, illuminating, and at times deeply moving, this biography is a worthwhile read for anyone interested in American history or in better understanding the human dimensions behind iconic figures. I highly recommend picking it up when it releases next month.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This was an advanced copy from NetGalley
This wasn't my favorite, and it took me until the end of the book to really put my finger on why. Mary Todd Lincoln is absolutely fascinating, both in who she was as a person and First Lady and also in how she was treated and portrayed as a Victorian era woman. She was incredibly polarizing, and my guess is she was not very well liked because of it, but she also suffered unimaginable loss and did not have the tools to heal from that. Robert, her oldest son became the villain in her story, but I think even that is complicated. When you watch your father die, and your 3 younger brothers die, and have to also cope with your mother's grief too...my guess is he didn't have a lot of healing either. Hurt people hurt people.
The main issue I had with the book was that it didn't feel objective at all. I believe the author was fully pleading Mary's case, asking for understanding for all she had lost, without demanding the same nuance for the times she lived in. Was the way she was treated right? No. Was a lot of it due to her own actions? Quite probably.
I felt the author was using the lens of today to judge how Mary was treated 150 years ago, without context that that was how most of society was at the time, and it wasn't just a personal attack on Mary Lincoln.
This wasn't my favorite, and it took me until the end of the book to really put my finger on why. Mary Todd Lincoln is absolutely fascinating, both in who she was as a person and First Lady and also in how she was treated and portrayed as a Victorian era woman. She was incredibly polarizing, and my guess is she was not very well liked because of it, but she also suffered unimaginable loss and did not have the tools to heal from that. Robert, her oldest son became the villain in her story, but I think even that is complicated. When you watch your father die, and your 3 younger brothers die, and have to also cope with your mother's grief too...my guess is he didn't have a lot of healing either. Hurt people hurt people.
The main issue I had with the book was that it didn't feel objective at all. I believe the author was fully pleading Mary's case, asking for understanding for all she had lost, without demanding the same nuance for the times she lived in. Was the way she was treated right? No. Was a lot of it due to her own actions? Quite probably.
I felt the author was using the lens of today to judge how Mary was treated 150 years ago, without context that that was how most of society was at the time, and it wasn't just a personal attack on Mary Lincoln.
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
For years Mary Todd Lincoln has been villainized by those who write history books, and by those who simply repeated rumors that they were thought true about her. We've all seen the articles written about how *crazy* and difficult MTL was during her lifetime, and thankfully author Lois Romano sets the record straight. Romano, a former Washington Post writer and columnist, writes that one factor contributing to her being misunderstood was the fact that women's role in politics was highly restricted which was unfortunate for MLT as she was politically astute and spoke what she thought. (which just wasn't done and seen as odd) So many traumatic life events happened to MLT that we would recognize as PTSD including the death of her mother at age six, three of her 4 children died, her husband was assassinated practically in her arms and several of her siblings died in the Civil War. Yes, Mary Todd Lincoln was a flawed woman who was larger than life but was she suffering from a mental disorder? Readers will have to decide for themselves after reading this
highly researched book. Spectacular example of a non-fiction book that reads like fiction!
* I read an advance copy and was not compensated.
highly researched book. Spectacular example of a non-fiction book that reads like fiction!
* I read an advance copy and was not compensated.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I received an eARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher, for which I thank them.
“An Inconvenient Widow” is by Lois Romano. This non-fiction book takes a look at the life of Mary Todd Lincoln. It delves into the story of her life and, of course, her life as Mrs. Abraham Lincoln, and after his assassination. I’ve always found Mary Todd Lincoln to be an interesting person - because it seemed that either people liked her or they really disliked her. There never seemed to be anyone who was in the middle. She wasn’t the easiest person to get along with - she held grudges - but at the same time, she also went through a lot - the death of three of her four children and, of course, seeing your husband killed in front of you does some major damage to your psyche and well-being. I found this book to, sometimes, be a bit dry but in any non-fiction book there are going to be some points of a narrative when that happens. This book is about 50% footnotes, sources, and references - so it’s a bit shorter than I thought it would be. Overall, if you’re interested in reading/learning more about Mrs. Lincoln, done in a thoughtful and well-researched manner, I’d suggest picking thing book up.
“An Inconvenient Widow” is by Lois Romano. This non-fiction book takes a look at the life of Mary Todd Lincoln. It delves into the story of her life and, of course, her life as Mrs. Abraham Lincoln, and after his assassination. I’ve always found Mary Todd Lincoln to be an interesting person - because it seemed that either people liked her or they really disliked her. There never seemed to be anyone who was in the middle. She wasn’t the easiest person to get along with - she held grudges - but at the same time, she also went through a lot - the death of three of her four children and, of course, seeing your husband killed in front of you does some major damage to your psyche and well-being. I found this book to, sometimes, be a bit dry but in any non-fiction book there are going to be some points of a narrative when that happens. This book is about 50% footnotes, sources, and references - so it’s a bit shorter than I thought it would be. Overall, if you’re interested in reading/learning more about Mrs. Lincoln, done in a thoughtful and well-researched manner, I’d suggest picking thing book up.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I received a free ebook from Netgalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review. I give the book 4.25 stars. I really knew so little about Mary Lincoln before reading this book. I was happy to learn a lot about her.
I have heard quite a bit about Abe Lincoln most of my life. However, after reading this book, I realized I didn't know much. I had never heard much about Mary Lincoln. About 98 percent of what I read, was new to me.
The book is fairly long. There was no way to make this book any shorter. The chapters aren't too long. There are sub chapters in the chapters.
For such a long book, I finished it in about 2 weeks. The book is very interesting.
The book is tragic. It, is also, a story about resilience. The book isn't uplifting. It is such a good story. A story more people need to learn. A story about how women were treated in the 1800s.
Thank you to the author and Netgalley for allowing me to read this book. I am thankful to have learned more about Mary Lincoln. Thank you for educating the nation on her history.
I have heard quite a bit about Abe Lincoln most of my life. However, after reading this book, I realized I didn't know much. I had never heard much about Mary Lincoln. About 98 percent of what I read, was new to me.
The book is fairly long. There was no way to make this book any shorter. The chapters aren't too long. There are sub chapters in the chapters.
For such a long book, I finished it in about 2 weeks. The book is very interesting.
The book is tragic. It, is also, a story about resilience. The book isn't uplifting. It is such a good story. A story more people need to learn. A story about how women were treated in the 1800s.
Thank you to the author and Netgalley for allowing me to read this book. I am thankful to have learned more about Mary Lincoln. Thank you for educating the nation on her history.
April 5, 2026
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the chance to read and review this book!
A very thoroughly researched biography of Mary Todd Lincoln who played an integral role in launching Abraham Lincoln to the White House while suffering the tragic loss of her children, the denigration of her character by the press, the traumatic assassination of her husband, and her own insanity trial instigated by her only living son.
Justice for Mary Lincoln is found in the pages of An Inconvenient Widow. Here you see her passion and determination as well as her adoration for her husband… an adoration that was mutual. The Lincolns both suffered from mental illness in a time before mood disorders were understood. In their shared mental health struggle, they build their life and rise to the most powerful office at the most tumultuous time. I found every page of this book to be compelling and have a new compassion for Mrs. Lincoln
A very thoroughly researched biography of Mary Todd Lincoln who played an integral role in launching Abraham Lincoln to the White House while suffering the tragic loss of her children, the denigration of her character by the press, the traumatic assassination of her husband, and her own insanity trial instigated by her only living son.
Justice for Mary Lincoln is found in the pages of An Inconvenient Widow. Here you see her passion and determination as well as her adoration for her husband… an adoration that was mutual. The Lincolns both suffered from mental illness in a time before mood disorders were understood. In their shared mental health struggle, they build their life and rise to the most powerful office at the most tumultuous time. I found every page of this book to be compelling and have a new compassion for Mrs. Lincoln
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This one was a hard read. Mary Lincoln definitely had mental health issues, but that isn’t a catchall answer to her life. This book leans strongly to the mental illness was the reason she ever did anything.
This book spends more time looking at Mary’s life through a 2020’s lens than it should. She’s sort of Courtney Loved in it. Everything she said or did was blamed on her “issues” to the point where she didn’t seem to have any agency over her life. That isn’t true. Mary was more than the sum of her problems.
If you were looking to mainly hear about her life after the assassination, like I was, you’ll be disappointed. There is stuff on it, but it’s not the focus.
It’s a well written book, and I recommend it, but just be aware that it’s not completely unbiased.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC, all opinions are my own.
This book spends more time looking at Mary’s life through a 2020’s lens than it should. She’s sort of Courtney Loved in it. Everything she said or did was blamed on her “issues” to the point where she didn’t seem to have any agency over her life. That isn’t true. Mary was more than the sum of her problems.
If you were looking to mainly hear about her life after the assassination, like I was, you’ll be disappointed. There is stuff on it, but it’s not the focus.
It’s a well written book, and I recommend it, but just be aware that it’s not completely unbiased.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC, all opinions are my own.
May 1, 2026
This book is not as long as it seems. It’s over 500 pages but 200 of them are the author’s notes and references. Sometimes biographies can be a slog, but this was written in short, digestible chapters that kept me engaged. While keeping all the names of men from history straight was a challenge for me, I enjoyed the opportunity to learn more about Mary Lincoln. As the author points out, a complicated woman but one worth knowing fully and not only letting the men of her era tell us who she was. One quote in there says she was more than her foibles, and that’s what I’ve come to believe. She endured a tragic life with much loss and public scrutiny as well as health challenges. This author alluded to what would now be a mental health diagnoses. Thanks to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for the advanced read in lieu of my honest opinion
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I voluntarily read and reviewed this advanced copy via NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Mary Todd Lincoln has been on my mind lately due to the popular satire play Oh Mary! that's been sweeping Broadway. I saw it won big at the Tony Awards last summer and the creator seemed so interesting. I transferred that curiosity to this biography, although it was far bigger than I anticipated. Despite the page length, this was a well researched and crafted nonfiction book. The author recognized the peculiarity of Mary Todd Lincoln but managed to show sympathy towards her character. To lose 3 sons and a public assassination of her husband before her own demise must have been horrific, and that's even without adding in her struggles with bipolar disorder. I learned so much while reading this book, although I would have been happier with 50 pages or so shaved off. This author was a master of her craft. I also loved that she referenced the Oh Mary! play and its impact on the current theater atmosphere. Whenever I see some bratty babydoll curls, I'll always think of Mary Todd Lincoln.
Mary Todd Lincoln has been on my mind lately due to the popular satire play Oh Mary! that's been sweeping Broadway. I saw it won big at the Tony Awards last summer and the creator seemed so interesting. I transferred that curiosity to this biography, although it was far bigger than I anticipated. Despite the page length, this was a well researched and crafted nonfiction book. The author recognized the peculiarity of Mary Todd Lincoln but managed to show sympathy towards her character. To lose 3 sons and a public assassination of her husband before her own demise must have been horrific, and that's even without adding in her struggles with bipolar disorder. I learned so much while reading this book, although I would have been happier with 50 pages or so shaved off. This author was a master of her craft. I also loved that she referenced the Oh Mary! play and its impact on the current theater atmosphere. Whenever I see some bratty babydoll curls, I'll always think of Mary Todd Lincoln.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This is a well researched and written book the live of Mary Todd Lincoln. She is one of the most misunderstood individuals in the history of our country. Myths and misinformation about her has followed her through time. She was a stalwart defender of her husband and took the deaths of her children and husband very hard. The challenge of defending herself in court against her remaining son charging her with being not of sound mind. A good deal of the misunderstanding about her was the lack of medical knowledge available at that time. Overall, a very worthwhile read.
I received a free Kindle copy of this book courtesy of Net Galley and the publisher with the understanding that I would post a review on Net Galley, Goodreads, Amazon and my nonfiction book review blog..
I received a free Kindle copy of this book courtesy of Net Galley and the publisher with the understanding that I would post a review on Net Galley, Goodreads, Amazon and my nonfiction book review blog..
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Political writer/journalist Lois Romano has written an informative biography of one of the country’s most famous and controversial First Ladies. Conventional wisdom about Mary Todd Lincoln is that she was unbalanced and difficult. While serving as First Lady her every move was scrutinized and criticized. Romano’s book seeks to dig a bit deeper into Mrs. Lincoln and her behavior. While not excusing her sometimes rude and overwrought actions, readers learn more about her life and tribulations. Beyond being an eyewitness to her husband’s brutal death, she suffered from many health problems and was victimized by the actions of her surviving son.
“An Inconvenient Widow” is extremely readable and informative. Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for an advance copy for review.
“An Inconvenient Widow” is extremely readable and informative. Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for an advance copy for review.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Having read many biographies of Mrs. Lincoln, I was excited to see this new one offered on Netgalley. It did not disappoint; I learned things about this incredible woman and her family that I had not heard before!
Reading this brought back sweet memories of visiting many “Lincoln sites” with my husband and two young sons, such as the Springfield home and law office, the Presidential Library, numerous trips to Ford’s Theater, etc. Someday I hope to visit the Mary Todd Lincoln Home in Kentucky, especially after reading this biography.
*I received a digital copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are strictly my own.*
Reading this brought back sweet memories of visiting many “Lincoln sites” with my husband and two young sons, such as the Springfield home and law office, the Presidential Library, numerous trips to Ford’s Theater, etc. Someday I hope to visit the Mary Todd Lincoln Home in Kentucky, especially after reading this biography.
*I received a digital copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are strictly my own.*
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Thank you to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC and provide my honest review!
I have always been interested in the dynamic of a First Lady, and this new biography of Mary Todd Lincoln really dives into that in so much detail. I thought this was great; it has a really balanced approach to showcasing Mary's loving qualities and her flaws. It was heartbreaking to read about her children and husband's death, and the ultimate unfair scrutiny of her by the government and her own son. She was a badass and doesn't get enough credit for the praise we have for one of our most beloved presidents. Like they say, behind every man....
I have always been interested in the dynamic of a First Lady, and this new biography of Mary Todd Lincoln really dives into that in so much detail. I thought this was great; it has a really balanced approach to showcasing Mary's loving qualities and her flaws. It was heartbreaking to read about her children and husband's death, and the ultimate unfair scrutiny of her by the government and her own son. She was a badass and doesn't get enough credit for the praise we have for one of our most beloved presidents. Like they say, behind every man....
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
First, I’d like to thank Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for this advanced copy. Having read several fictional accounts already, I was interested in the trials and tribulations of Mary Todd Lincoln. The accuracy, I believe, as well as the impartiality of the author, allowed for a renewed retelling of her tragic life. She had to endure the utmost loss and suffered because of it. Lois Romano wrote both an engaging and informative book that, I hope, sheds new light into the many gifts Mary Lincoln possessed. It’s thought provoking to wonder how her life and treatment, both physically and personally, would be today.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thanks to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the eARC; all opinions are my own!
Romano has written a fascinating look at Mary Todd Lincoln. This book is extremely well researched and will really make you take a deeper look at someone I think we've all, even just tangentially, been taught to look down on. I love Romano's take on Lincoln and how she really shows how multi-faceted Lincoln was.
I'm not sure I'll ever understand the strength Lincoln had to keep dealing with all of the trauma and sadness in her life. Romano showcases Lincoln without coddling her and without infantilizing her. But also, without villainizing her. Romano's Lincoln is brave and strong and smart - a much more real-life portrait than has ever existed before.
Romano has written a fascinating look at Mary Todd Lincoln. This book is extremely well researched and will really make you take a deeper look at someone I think we've all, even just tangentially, been taught to look down on. I love Romano's take on Lincoln and how she really shows how multi-faceted Lincoln was.
I'm not sure I'll ever understand the strength Lincoln had to keep dealing with all of the trauma and sadness in her life. Romano showcases Lincoln without coddling her and without infantilizing her. But also, without villainizing her. Romano's Lincoln is brave and strong and smart - a much more real-life portrait than has ever existed before.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This is a fascinating biography about a woman that I knew little about.
This is the story of Mary Lincoln and her life.
I am sure that Mrs. Lincoln was bipolar and filled with anxiety as well as paranoia through her life.
However, after experiencing all the horrid family losses and mental abuse, Mary did survive.
It certainly was not an easy time or life!
I truly learned so much while reading this book and I encourage anyone who is interested in history to pick it up and engage with this woman.
Thank you to @NetGalley and to @Simon &Schuster for this ARC and allowing me to provide my own review.
Com
This is the story of Mary Lincoln and her life.
I am sure that Mrs. Lincoln was bipolar and filled with anxiety as well as paranoia through her life.
However, after experiencing all the horrid family losses and mental abuse, Mary did survive.
It certainly was not an easy time or life!
I truly learned so much while reading this book and I encourage anyone who is interested in history to pick it up and engage with this woman.
Thank you to @NetGalley and to @Simon &Schuster for this ARC and allowing me to provide my own review.
Com
May 4, 2026
I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley because I wanted to learn more about Mary Todd Lincoln. While the book is very well-researched and gives a great look at her life, the constant footnotes made it hard to stay focused on the story. About 34% of the book is actually research notes, which makes the reading feel very interrupted. It is a great resource if you want a deep dive into history, but the academic style might be a bit much for a casual reader. Overall, it is a solid biography that is just a little difficult to get through because of the formatting.
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