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Bachelorx: a Nonbinary Memoir
Not yet published
Expected 1 Apr 26A daringly original memoir that blends humor, heartbreak, and healing, exploring the intersections of queer identity, dating, trauma, and the mythopoetic. With a narrative voice that’s both poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, this is a story for anyone who’s ever sought to reconcile the many parts of themselves while navigating the complexities of looking for love and sex.
Pre-Publication Reviews
:
"Some memoirs are compelling because of the writer’s absorbing story and unique writing style. In others you learn intriguing things about a life that is quite different from yours. With still others, the writer offers a courageous and uncensored window into the way their internal family members interact and how those parts interface with their external world. In Kaye’s funny and poignant book, you get all those things and more!"
Dr. Richard Schwartz, PhD
Author of You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For and Internal Family Systems Therapy
"Eloquently written Bachelorx offers a desperately needed alternative to society’s pathology-focused view of the remarkable human ability to survive and heal. Funny, insightful, inclusive, heartbreaking and hopeful, Bachelorx is easily the most important book I’ve read this year."
Charity Feb
Creator of The Disappeared, a photo essay
"Bachelorx is a remarkable and beautiful book. The protagonist, Orpheus — nonbinary, plural, fiercely loyal to their friends, their integrity, and most of all, to their inner community — is newly single and hitting the apps for the first time, navigating the contemporary queer dating landscape with humor, intelligence, a keen eye for irony. When they inevitably meet their Eurydice, Orpheus charts a path back from the underworld of obsessive love. Groundbreaking and relatable, funny and sexy, compassionate and wise, this memoir has rare power and the kind of narrative momentum that keeps you up reading into the night.”
Rachel Swift
Freelance journalist at The Providence Eye and Chicago’s Newcity Magazine, author of naked and stunned at the end of the world, a newsletter exploring chronic illness and culture.
A sixty-something sober nonbinary social justice artist goes online dating, after leaving a 35-year nearly sexless marriage? And recounts it as a story told by the different parts of the self? Skylar Lyralen Kaye, an award-winning writer, weaves tangled tales of attraction, disappointment - and, of course sexual desire. We get to meet the protagonist’s sub-personalities as well as a hilarious set of unsuitable dates. A theme that will chime for many is how the generation gap between older lesbians (“don’t call me queer!”) and younger gender-fluid folk makes for a difficult later-life dating life for those of us who feel more at home with the language and inclusivity (trans-, neurodiversity). When “stigma and shame, pathology and masking” are the sea many older queers swim in, what can a nonbinary paddleboarder like Skye (Orpheus) do to find a healthy erotic love and affection? This books tells the stories - Hot stuff, tough stuff, fun it’s all here.
Dr Caroline Osella
The Rewilded Anthropologist,
on the run after 25 years at University of London
"Some memoirs are compelling because of the writer’s absorbing story and unique writing style. In others you learn intriguing things about a life that is quite different from yours. With still others, the writer offers a courageous and uncensored window into the way their internal family members interact and how those parts interface with their external world. In Kaye’s funny and poignant book, you get all those things and more!"
Dr. Richard Schwartz, PhD
Author of You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For and Internal Family Systems Therapy
"Eloquently written Bachelorx offers a desperately needed alternative to society’s pathology-focused view of the remarkable human ability to survive and heal. Funny, insightful, inclusive, heartbreaking and hopeful, Bachelorx is easily the most important book I’ve read this year."
Charity Feb
Creator of The Disappeared, a photo essay
"Bachelorx is a remarkable and beautiful book. The protagonist, Orpheus — nonbinary, plural, fiercely loyal to their friends, their integrity, and most of all, to their inner community — is newly single and hitting the apps for the first time, navigating the contemporary queer dating landscape with humor, intelligence, a keen eye for irony. When they inevitably meet their Eurydice, Orpheus charts a path back from the underworld of obsessive love. Groundbreaking and relatable, funny and sexy, compassionate and wise, this memoir has rare power and the kind of narrative momentum that keeps you up reading into the night.”
Rachel Swift
Freelance journalist at The Providence Eye and Chicago’s Newcity Magazine, author of naked and stunned at the end of the world, a newsletter exploring chronic illness and culture.
A sixty-something sober nonbinary social justice artist goes online dating, after leaving a 35-year nearly sexless marriage? And recounts it as a story told by the different parts of the self? Skylar Lyralen Kaye, an award-winning writer, weaves tangled tales of attraction, disappointment - and, of course sexual desire. We get to meet the protagonist’s sub-personalities as well as a hilarious set of unsuitable dates. A theme that will chime for many is how the generation gap between older lesbians (“don’t call me queer!”) and younger gender-fluid folk makes for a difficult later-life dating life for those of us who feel more at home with the language and inclusivity (trans-, neurodiversity). When “stigma and shame, pathology and masking” are the sea many older queers swim in, what can a nonbinary paddleboarder like Skye (Orpheus) do to find a healthy erotic love and affection? This books tells the stories - Hot stuff, tough stuff, fun it’s all here.
Dr Caroline Osella
The Rewilded Anthropologist,
on the run after 25 years at University of London
- GenresLGBT
317 pages, Kindle Edition
Expected publication April 1, 2026
3 people are currently reading
7 people want to read
About the author
Skylar Lyralen Kaye
3 books7 followersSkylar Lyralen Kaye, fae/they is a queer social
justice and award-winning writer as well as
a lifelong activist. They have a BA in English
from the University of Arizona and an MFA
in Theater from Sarah Lawrence College.
Kaye was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in
Fiction in 1997 and was a finalist for the 2005
Massachusetts Cultural Council of the Arts
Awards in Playwriting. They have published in
literary journals such as Calyx, Persona, Phoebe,
Girlfriends, Happy Magazine and the anthology
Out of the Ordinary, Children of LGT Parents, as well has having multiple theatrical productions of their plays. They are best known for their web series
Assigned Female at Birth, all three seasons now on YouTube. Their most recent awards include the 2021 NE Film Star Award as well as 13 film festival awards for Assigned Female at Birth.
In 2018 they won Best in Fringe at the San Francisco Fringe for the one person show My Preferred Pronoun Is We (AKA Many Trump Refugees in One Body); in
2017 they won the Moth Story Slam and in 2018 the Boston Story Slam. Some other awards include: the 2015 Meryl Streep Writers Lab for Screenwriters and
the 2002 Stanley and Eleanor Lipkin Prize in Playwriting.
For more information or to book a performance or talk, visit http://www.lyralenkaye.com
justice and award-winning writer as well as
a lifelong activist. They have a BA in English
from the University of Arizona and an MFA
in Theater from Sarah Lawrence College.
Kaye was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in
Fiction in 1997 and was a finalist for the 2005
Massachusetts Cultural Council of the Arts
Awards in Playwriting. They have published in
literary journals such as Calyx, Persona, Phoebe,
Girlfriends, Happy Magazine and the anthology
Out of the Ordinary, Children of LGT Parents, as well has having multiple theatrical productions of their plays. They are best known for their web series
Assigned Female at Birth, all three seasons now on YouTube. Their most recent awards include the 2021 NE Film Star Award as well as 13 film festival awards for Assigned Female at Birth.
In 2018 they won Best in Fringe at the San Francisco Fringe for the one person show My Preferred Pronoun Is We (AKA Many Trump Refugees in One Body); in
2017 they won the Moth Story Slam and in 2018 the Boston Story Slam. Some other awards include: the 2015 Meryl Streep Writers Lab for Screenwriters and
the 2002 Stanley and Eleanor Lipkin Prize in Playwriting.
For more information or to book a performance or talk, visit http://www.lyralenkaye.com
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
Review of advance copy
🥺 ARC Review 💛 💙🩵
In this captivating memoir, Skylar initiates us into the world of a plural non-binary artist activist looking for love and healing who has quite the way with words.
Skylar, they/fae, recounts their life, the good, the bad, and everything in between. With laughs and a search for love that I think a lot of people can resonate with, you're pulled into the narrative right away.
Skylar is such a strong, brave, discerning, and spellbinding writer. They are very open with their struggles and how they continually work to better themself and those around them even in the face of a traumatizing childhood as an activist and actor/producer (their web series) Instead of collapsing, they're striving to better the world day by day.
Bachelorx is filled with humor and trauma, healing and pain, love and loss. As someone who knows someone who has gone through the horrifying reality of childhood abuse in all forms, this book was able to open my eyes in ways they haven't been opened before (even having read psychology books to understand the mechanics and impacts of this abuse).
I've watched YouTube videos to help me understand plurality, but Bachelorx brought my understanding to a new level. This way of dealing with the after effects of an especially brutal childhood is very impactful for the individual. It affects them for the rest of their life and it seems to make it more difficult to maintain relationships and know how to feel safe in the world.
My heart breaks for Skylar. At the same time, I'm incredibly moved by their ability to soldier on and how they really try to move through life with strong emotional intelligence. This was a memoir I'm really glad to have been able to read.
This memoir gives 😭🥺😶🌫️🤬 & 🥹☺️😆😘🙌. It's thought-provoking, emotional, and a fairly quick read.
Who should read this book?
• Survivors of childhood abuse of all forms
• Family members or friends of ⬆️ these folks
• People who want to understand more about multiplicity/plurality (i.e. multiple personality/dissociative identity disorder)
• You're looking for a moving, pensive memoir
• You're looking for love on the dating apps and want to laugh along with someone else's journey ☺️
Triggers: R@pe, Child SA, Psychological/Mental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Addiction, Grief
In this captivating memoir, Skylar initiates us into the world of a plural non-binary artist activist looking for love and healing who has quite the way with words.
Skylar, they/fae, recounts their life, the good, the bad, and everything in between. With laughs and a search for love that I think a lot of people can resonate with, you're pulled into the narrative right away.
Skylar is such a strong, brave, discerning, and spellbinding writer. They are very open with their struggles and how they continually work to better themself and those around them even in the face of a traumatizing childhood as an activist and actor/producer (their web series) Instead of collapsing, they're striving to better the world day by day.
Bachelorx is filled with humor and trauma, healing and pain, love and loss. As someone who knows someone who has gone through the horrifying reality of childhood abuse in all forms, this book was able to open my eyes in ways they haven't been opened before (even having read psychology books to understand the mechanics and impacts of this abuse).
I've watched YouTube videos to help me understand plurality, but Bachelorx brought my understanding to a new level. This way of dealing with the after effects of an especially brutal childhood is very impactful for the individual. It affects them for the rest of their life and it seems to make it more difficult to maintain relationships and know how to feel safe in the world.
My heart breaks for Skylar. At the same time, I'm incredibly moved by their ability to soldier on and how they really try to move through life with strong emotional intelligence. This was a memoir I'm really glad to have been able to read.
This memoir gives 😭🥺😶🌫️🤬 & 🥹☺️😆😘🙌. It's thought-provoking, emotional, and a fairly quick read.
Who should read this book?
• Survivors of childhood abuse of all forms
• Family members or friends of ⬆️ these folks
• People who want to understand more about multiplicity/plurality (i.e. multiple personality/dissociative identity disorder)
• You're looking for a moving, pensive memoir
• You're looking for love on the dating apps and want to laugh along with someone else's journey ☺️
Triggers: R@pe, Child SA, Psychological/Mental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Addiction, Grief
Review of advance copy received from Author
I read an Advanced Reader Copy before publication.
I picked up Bachelorx because the premise intrigued me. A sixty-something nonbinary plural person hitting the dating apps after a long sexless marriage. I stayed for the writing, which is sharp and funny and refuses to let you look away.
Reading this as someone in a deeply loving relationship with a nonbinary partner, so much of this book hit close to home. The way Kaye writes about the complexity of queer intimacy, about the gap between older lesbian identity and younger nonbinary/genderqueer experience, about the exhaustion of explaining yourself to people who think your life is a phase. All of it lands with real accuracy. I recognized things I'd never seen named on a page before.
The inner people (MICAH, Kara, Girlchild, The Protector) could have felt gimmicky. They don't. They feel true, and often hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking. The scene on the beach with "the Russian" had me laughing out loud and then sitting quietly for a minute.
What I admire most is that Kaye doesn't ask for your sympathy. Orpheus is flawed, self-aware about being flawed, occasionally their own worst obstacle, and completely compelling throughout. The Eurydice section in Book II hit me harder than I expected. The way obsessive love and old trauma intertwine is rendered with real precision.
If you're queer, plural, in recovery, loving someone nonbinary, or just alive and confused about intimacy, this book sees you.
I picked up Bachelorx because the premise intrigued me. A sixty-something nonbinary plural person hitting the dating apps after a long sexless marriage. I stayed for the writing, which is sharp and funny and refuses to let you look away.
Reading this as someone in a deeply loving relationship with a nonbinary partner, so much of this book hit close to home. The way Kaye writes about the complexity of queer intimacy, about the gap between older lesbian identity and younger nonbinary/genderqueer experience, about the exhaustion of explaining yourself to people who think your life is a phase. All of it lands with real accuracy. I recognized things I'd never seen named on a page before.
The inner people (MICAH, Kara, Girlchild, The Protector) could have felt gimmicky. They don't. They feel true, and often hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking. The scene on the beach with "the Russian" had me laughing out loud and then sitting quietly for a minute.
What I admire most is that Kaye doesn't ask for your sympathy. Orpheus is flawed, self-aware about being flawed, occasionally their own worst obstacle, and completely compelling throughout. The Eurydice section in Book II hit me harder than I expected. The way obsessive love and old trauma intertwine is rendered with real precision.
If you're queer, plural, in recovery, loving someone nonbinary, or just alive and confused about intimacy, this book sees you.
Review of advance copy
I didn't know what to expect when I picked up BachelorX, mostly excited to read a memoir by a fellow nonbinary person. Well, what a surprise! The book is exceptional: the writing, originality, and authenticity of it hit me straight in the feels. All authors write and publish. The good ones have their own voice, but never had I read a novel with such a plurality of voices so well distinct and depicted...which makes sense with the story (no spoilers).
Despite dealing with horrific abuse and trauma, the story is almost completely centered on healing. Rather than triggering, I found it inspiring and full of hope. The voices weaving the narrative created a profound sense of kinship with the reader, or at least with me, and I felt encouraged and seen in my own struggles.
Regardless of the nonbinary or trauma aspects, I found the memoir's dating and relationship angles incredibly insightful and relatable, likely to most people.
A wonderful read full of hope and certainly one of my top five this year.
Despite dealing with horrific abuse and trauma, the story is almost completely centered on healing. Rather than triggering, I found it inspiring and full of hope. The voices weaving the narrative created a profound sense of kinship with the reader, or at least with me, and I felt encouraged and seen in my own struggles.
Regardless of the nonbinary or trauma aspects, I found the memoir's dating and relationship angles incredibly insightful and relatable, likely to most people.
A wonderful read full of hope and certainly one of my top five this year.
Review of advance copy received from Author
BachelorX is a testament of strength, courage, vulnerability, and resilience. Skylar Lyralen Kaye offers us a rare and unique, yet relatable, glimpse into multiple layers of intersections. An intersection of being non-binary and plural intersecting with being an older adult who's waaaay out of practice returning to the dating world via apps, intersecting with being in recovery, all woven together with Greek mythology.
It’s an intense, emotional, and sometimes hilarious journey that’s honest, heart-breaking, refreshing, and inspiring. In short, it’s brilliant. I saw so many parts of myself and others in my life reflected back at me. I laughed. I cried. And sometimes, I literally cheered them on out loud.
I devoured this book. Could not put it down, rushing through what I needed to get done to get right back to it. The writing is tight and evocative. I felt like I was right there with them. Even though there’s a lot of tragedy between those covers, it left me feeling hope and a sense of what’s possible, for me, for faer, and for all of us. A++, no notes.
It’s an intense, emotional, and sometimes hilarious journey that’s honest, heart-breaking, refreshing, and inspiring. In short, it’s brilliant. I saw so many parts of myself and others in my life reflected back at me. I laughed. I cried. And sometimes, I literally cheered them on out loud.
I devoured this book. Could not put it down, rushing through what I needed to get done to get right back to it. The writing is tight and evocative. I felt like I was right there with them. Even though there’s a lot of tragedy between those covers, it left me feeling hope and a sense of what’s possible, for me, for faer, and for all of us. A++, no notes.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews