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About to Fall Apart
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'Poignant and tender.' FERDIA LENNON
'A dynamic voice.' IRENOSEN OKOJIE
'Lushly written and formally audacious . . . moving.' NICOLAS PADAMSEE
This is the story of one man's weekend, a weekend in which everything could change
These lines could change everything /
He sips more of his tinny /
Imagines a new life
Aidy's just punched a co-worker, but he hasn't got time to deal with the fallout. With a deadline fast looming he must get home, knuckle down and finish the story he's been working on, a story he hasn't been able to stop thinking about. It's the story of a falling plane and of a grieving mother.
Set across one weekend, About to Fall Apart is the exhilarating story of a man of mixed heritage - living on the Irish border - as he tries to stay positive, reconnect with his children and maybe, even, find his own birth mother.
'Poignant and tender.' FERDIA LENNON
'A dynamic voice.' IRENOSEN OKOJIE
'Lushly written and formally audacious . . . moving.' NICOLAS PADAMSEE
This is the story of one man's weekend, a weekend in which everything could change
These lines could change everything /
He sips more of his tinny /
Imagines a new life
Aidy's just punched a co-worker, but he hasn't got time to deal with the fallout. With a deadline fast looming he must get home, knuckle down and finish the story he's been working on, a story he hasn't been able to stop thinking about. It's the story of a falling plane and of a grieving mother.
Set across one weekend, About to Fall Apart is the exhilarating story of a man of mixed heritage - living on the Irish border - as he tries to stay positive, reconnect with his children and maybe, even, find his own birth mother.
- GenresFiction
106 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 7, 2026
About the author
Ashley Hickson-Lovence
7 books72 followersAshley Hickson-Lovence is the author of the novels The 392, Your Show and Wild East — overall winner of the East Anglian Book Awards 2024 and the YA winner of the Diverse Book Awards 2025. His poetry collection Why I Am Not a Bus Driver released with Bad Betty Press in 2025 includes the poem “Munster Road,” which was highly commended for Best Single Poem by the Forward Prize and was featured in the Forward Prize Book of Poetry 2026. Ashley has a PhD in Creative and Critical Writing from the University of East Anglia, and his nominations include the Black Excellence Award for Outstanding Contribution to Literature 2023. His new novel About To Fall Apart will be published by Faber in April 2026, and his next YA verse novel Dead Ends will be released in August 2026.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
4.5
Aidy is working to a deadline. He can't think about the consequences of punching a work colleague or whether he'll have a job come Monday; he can't even think about when or if his birth mother will reply to his letter; he can't think about the mess his life has become. He needs to write and the story is vivid in his mind. He needs to write but he's forgotten that it's his weekend with his daughter ...
About to Fall Apart is a story within a story and I do enjoy those. Aidy is an interesting character who seems unable to stop himself getting into trouble. He has a string of broken relationships and has difficulty being relaxed with his children, particularly his eldest son. But he is trying hard to get himself on the right track with his writing, work and his family. He hopes the story he is writing will just be the start of good things.
Although this is written as a stream of consciousness it didn't put me off. The plot is engaging and even though it is only a short novel (novella?) it packs quite a punch.
I really enjoyed it and would highly recommend it.
Thankyou to Netgalley and Faber & Faber for the digital review copy.
Aidy is working to a deadline. He can't think about the consequences of punching a work colleague or whether he'll have a job come Monday; he can't even think about when or if his birth mother will reply to his letter; he can't think about the mess his life has become. He needs to write and the story is vivid in his mind. He needs to write but he's forgotten that it's his weekend with his daughter ...
About to Fall Apart is a story within a story and I do enjoy those. Aidy is an interesting character who seems unable to stop himself getting into trouble. He has a string of broken relationships and has difficulty being relaxed with his children, particularly his eldest son. But he is trying hard to get himself on the right track with his writing, work and his family. He hopes the story he is writing will just be the start of good things.
Although this is written as a stream of consciousness it didn't put me off. The plot is engaging and even though it is only a short novel (novella?) it packs quite a punch.
I really enjoyed it and would highly recommend it.
Thankyou to Netgalley and Faber & Faber for the digital review copy.
December 1, 2025
A wordplay on the page, every single line a punchline.
If you love words, the poetic use of words, their placement on a page, the way they convey meaning and extract emotions, sensory language, you will absolutely adore About to Fall Apart by Ashley Hickson-Lovence.
At the heart of this book is the story of Aidy, a sixty-six year old mixed heritage man who grew up with a loving adoptive family but desperately longs to meet his birth mother.
This longing is hurts more than the grief of losing someone to death. It’s the grief of his mother not wanting to find him.
Aidy is an author writing a story about a footballer who died in a plane crash. The footballer’s mum is grieving the death of her son.
Aidy lives alone but has his three children visit. We read about his relationship with his grown children and their mothers. The women on his life past and present. His relationship with his work colleagues and the experience of being observed as different.
If you love words, the poetic use of words, their placement on a page, the way they convey meaning and extract emotions, sensory language, you will absolutely adore About to Fall Apart by Ashley Hickson-Lovence.
At the heart of this book is the story of Aidy, a sixty-six year old mixed heritage man who grew up with a loving adoptive family but desperately longs to meet his birth mother.
This longing is hurts more than the grief of losing someone to death. It’s the grief of his mother not wanting to find him.
Aidy is an author writing a story about a footballer who died in a plane crash. The footballer’s mum is grieving the death of her son.
Aidy lives alone but has his three children visit. We read about his relationship with his grown children and their mothers. The women on his life past and present. His relationship with his work colleagues and the experience of being observed as different.
April 18, 2026
It was the cover that made me pick up this book; that electric blue and green, spiky writing haloing a half hidden head. The blurb promised something exhilarating and essential. But I promptly put it down after skimming its first page.
No punctuation other than the forward slash? No thanks.
Still, as I moved through the bookshop I kept thinking about the book, it’s cover, and all of its slashes. I was curious about it. I could hate it, I could love it, either way, I would definitely learn something from it. I picked it back up and bought it.
The next day I had finished it, having been completely unable to put it down.
The forward slash, though strange at first, was very easy to fall into rhythm with. The best way I can describe it, is it was like becoming fluent in another language. Hickson-Lovence uses his choice of punctuation with such dexterity to manipulate rhythm. Sometimes it’s a deliberate beat, slowly building, allowing us to ponder and meander. Other times it spirals quick and breathless, and we’re anxious to read faster and faster. It also created such an immediate intimacy with the protagonist, Aidy. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book where I have felt so in a character’s mind. Aidy has a lot going on in his world; his search for his birth mother, the struggle to forge relationships with each of his three children, his online girlfriend who may or may not be a catfish, the co-worker he has just punched, his new writing project and its looming deadline. His thoughts overlap constantly and we experience them at the exact same time he does. It makes the book so fresh and alive. With it too is a soft melancholy that Hickson-Lovence never forces, but allows to breathe just enough so that it really really lands.
One of my favourite things about this book was how Hickson-Lovence writes ABOUT writing. How frustrating, how exhilarating, how compulsive, how innate it is. Aidy’s rumination on his project were some of my favourite passages.
Reading About To Fall Apart is a truly unique experience. I think it’s a book that will really stay with me, not only for its poignant exploration into the love and pain and longing in the everyday, but for the passion and desire to innovate Hickson-Lovence so clearly holds for his art.
No punctuation other than the forward slash? No thanks.
Still, as I moved through the bookshop I kept thinking about the book, it’s cover, and all of its slashes. I was curious about it. I could hate it, I could love it, either way, I would definitely learn something from it. I picked it back up and bought it.
The next day I had finished it, having been completely unable to put it down.
The forward slash, though strange at first, was very easy to fall into rhythm with. The best way I can describe it, is it was like becoming fluent in another language. Hickson-Lovence uses his choice of punctuation with such dexterity to manipulate rhythm. Sometimes it’s a deliberate beat, slowly building, allowing us to ponder and meander. Other times it spirals quick and breathless, and we’re anxious to read faster and faster. It also created such an immediate intimacy with the protagonist, Aidy. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book where I have felt so in a character’s mind. Aidy has a lot going on in his world; his search for his birth mother, the struggle to forge relationships with each of his three children, his online girlfriend who may or may not be a catfish, the co-worker he has just punched, his new writing project and its looming deadline. His thoughts overlap constantly and we experience them at the exact same time he does. It makes the book so fresh and alive. With it too is a soft melancholy that Hickson-Lovence never forces, but allows to breathe just enough so that it really really lands.
One of my favourite things about this book was how Hickson-Lovence writes ABOUT writing. How frustrating, how exhilarating, how compulsive, how innate it is. Aidy’s rumination on his project were some of my favourite passages.
Reading About To Fall Apart is a truly unique experience. I think it’s a book that will really stay with me, not only for its poignant exploration into the love and pain and longing in the everyday, but for the passion and desire to innovate Hickson-Lovence so clearly holds for his art.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I wasn't sure I would like this book when I started it, the writing is/ very different/ with all the words/separated like this/into one long sentence/all together... but it really worked in the end, it gives this short novel some musicality and dynamism. We follow Aidy, a seventy-something man who is trying to finish a short story he wants to submit to a writing competition, and is home from work after having punched a racist customer. He has never known his mother, who is Irish, and has traced back his Black father to Grenada, and he thinks about his mother a lot.
It's hard to really describe the book but I loved the writing and the pace, slow and careful. Parts of it reminded me of Claire Keegan, the way we really get into the character's head, the stream of consciousness and the endless regrets.
I found it touching and poetic and I'm really glad I gave it a try, I'd love to read more by Ashley Hickson-Lovence.
Free ARC sent by Netgalley.
It's hard to really describe the book but I loved the writing and the pace, slow and careful. Parts of it reminded me of Claire Keegan, the way we really get into the character's head, the stream of consciousness and the endless regrets.
I found it touching and poetic and I'm really glad I gave it a try, I'd love to read more by Ashley Hickson-Lovence.
Free ARC sent by Netgalley.
April 12, 2026
Aidy over one strained weekend / a punch at work that can’t be undone / consequences hovering but never quite faced
He retreats into writing / a story of a plane falling from the sky / a grieving mother circling loss / the two narratives bleeding into each other / neither fully formed
Phone calls half made / children half seen / a relationship fraying at the edges / thoughts of his birth mother / questions of race and belonging / all touched on / none settled
He walks / he thinks / he circles / work pressure / money pressure / a sense of things slipping / always slipping
Short lines / broken rhythm / fragments instead of scenes / repetition instead of development / the form mirroring collapse
But for me it stayed at the level of sketch / characters thinly drawn / emotions hinted at rather than felt / the parallel story never quite earning its place
More form than substance / the technique doing most of the work / the content struggling to keep up
If you are the type of reader who likes sentences and paragraphs / who wants scenes to build and characters to deepen / this is not the book for you
I can see the intention / a mind unravelling / a life on the brink / but I remained outside it
An interesting idea / not a satisfying novel
He retreats into writing / a story of a plane falling from the sky / a grieving mother circling loss / the two narratives bleeding into each other / neither fully formed
Phone calls half made / children half seen / a relationship fraying at the edges / thoughts of his birth mother / questions of race and belonging / all touched on / none settled
He walks / he thinks / he circles / work pressure / money pressure / a sense of things slipping / always slipping
Short lines / broken rhythm / fragments instead of scenes / repetition instead of development / the form mirroring collapse
But for me it stayed at the level of sketch / characters thinly drawn / emotions hinted at rather than felt / the parallel story never quite earning its place
More form than substance / the technique doing most of the work / the content struggling to keep up
If you are the type of reader who likes sentences and paragraphs / who wants scenes to build and characters to deepen / this is not the book for you
I can see the intention / a mind unravelling / a life on the brink / but I remained outside it
An interesting idea / not a satisfying novel
December 7, 2025
but Aidy is used to it now / hell be seventy soon / being a man of mixed heritage here in this island of Ireland / half-caste / a half-breed / as he used to be called by many when he was young / he can't not notice that little look / the not-so-subtle double-take people do when they see him enter certain spaces / a millisecond of hesitation / so small it's unnoticeable to the untrained eye / but as a man of colour / Aidy knows there's sometimes more to it / it's not just here at Dulrush Lodge / not just here straddling the borderlands of Belleek / & it's not necessarily this young girl's fault / it's just how it is really / & Aidy knows it's worse in other countries / has seen it for himself working all over the world / & that's why he never really complains / not with his mouth anyway / but today / especially with his kids with him / & after what happened yesterday at St Angelo / he's feeling a little more sensitive than usual / of course it's not just here / it could be in the local Spar / or the local library / it's heavy / the burden of being a Black man sometimes / his head hurts / his heart hurts / his hand hurts
The novelist, poet, literary critic and Creative Writing Lecturers third adult novel – his second “Your Show”, a fictionalised biography of Uriah Rennie (the first black referee in the Premier League) was Gordon Burn longlisted and East Anglia Book Award shortlisted – and this book too has a football theme underlying it (and an Arsenal-Manchester Utd match playing out on the last of the three days in which it is set).
Told in a distinct style – short phrases separated by “/” – the novel tells the story of Aidy. Born in the 1950s to an Irish mother and black father, he was given up for adoption before one but ended in foster care. In the book, and in his late sixties, and working as an odd-job man at a local small airfield. Three times married and three times separated (and with a child from each marriage) he has an internet relationship with a Ukrainian lady in what he thinks may be a scam.
At the book’s opening he is driving form work after having punched a man who made a racist comment (the n-word) and unsure if he still has a job plans to spend the weekend writing a 5000 word story for a short story prize (his literary career so far limited to a self-published and barely sold poetry collection). His subject is a fictionalised account of the real-life death of the Argentinian footballer Emilino Sala (who died in a light aircraft crash en route from Nantes to sign for Cardiff) – which starts with the aircraft and then features Sala’s mother as she has to deal not just with the loss of her son but the subsequent death of her husband.
Aidy himself still has never known his mother – although he did trace his father to Grenada a few years before – despite writing to an address he was given for her; and of course we know that Sala’s story is a way of trying to explore how a mother might react to losing her child.
But his plans are slightly thwarted when his youngest child – a daughter just hitting 16 – arrives for one of her stays (which he had forgotten) followed by his middle son – but the three of them have a Sunday brunch at the restaurant where his oldest son (with who he has had a breach since Aidy’s reaction to finding he was in a serious gay relationship) works – enabling him to have one of the few times he has had his children together.
Overall, I thought this was an excellent novel (almost novella) and I was very impressed when I checked the author and realised that while he has part Grenadian and Irish descent he is both English based and much younger than a protagonist in Aidy that he appears to capture with genuine insight.
My thanks to Faber for an ARC via NetGalley
didn't manage to get any sleep in the eight or so hours it took to get there / & he felt as lost as ever from the moment he landed / his light-ish skin marking him out as an outsider / neither this nor that / somewhere in between / it's similar back in Belleek / the village straddles the border / history cuts right through / a line through the bridge / north vs south / & Aidy straddles a border of his own / a halfway house / between black & white / Irish & non-Irish / past & present / from the moment he stepped off the plane just outside St Georges there was a swelling strangeness / a sweltering of something not quite right / hard to put into words / for a start everything was more
April 8, 2026
In ‘About to Fall Apart’, Ashley Hickson-Lovence tells the story of a black man named Aidy in Ireland who experiences racist abuse. Since he experiences this racist abuse, he has a difficult time reconciling his racial identity with his Irish heritage. It’s as if he is a man of separate parts, and he does not know how to put those parts into a whole person. When Aidy commits his own act of violence, it further complicates his status and his own sense of identity.
I think many people right now in 2026 could relate to Aidy’s alienation and even if they might not resort to physical violence, they can relate to the anger of being reduced to their skin colour. It’s a novel told in verse, and I think that narrative technique highlights the fragmented and heightened energy of always being on edge, always waiting for the worst to happen.
‘About to Fall Apart’ is a short but tense reading experience. Hickson-Lovence has written a powerful look at the effects of racism. Highly recommended.
I think many people right now in 2026 could relate to Aidy’s alienation and even if they might not resort to physical violence, they can relate to the anger of being reduced to their skin colour. It’s a novel told in verse, and I think that narrative technique highlights the fragmented and heightened energy of always being on edge, always waiting for the worst to happen.
‘About to Fall Apart’ is a short but tense reading experience. Hickson-Lovence has written a powerful look at the effects of racism. Highly recommended.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Aidy doesn't have time to deal with the consequences of having just punched a co-worker, he barely has time for himself. He must get home and finish the story he's been working on, a story he hasn't been able to stop thinking about.
Very engaging, very captivating stream of consciousness novel (novella?) with such a peculiar, interesting writing style. I will admit I was not sure it was going to be for me when I started it, but then it just sucked me in and I could not stop reading it. Maybe the fact that it is very quick and short helped, but so did how good it is. It might be short, but it still managed to pack such a punch. Aidy was such an interesting character to follow, and to be in the head of for a quick while. What will really stick with me is the writing, and I'm really interested in reading more by this author.
Many thanks to Faber and Faber Ltd & NetGalley for the eARC. All opinions are my own.
Very engaging, very captivating stream of consciousness novel (novella?) with such a peculiar, interesting writing style. I will admit I was not sure it was going to be for me when I started it, but then it just sucked me in and I could not stop reading it. Maybe the fact that it is very quick and short helped, but so did how good it is. It might be short, but it still managed to pack such a punch. Aidy was such an interesting character to follow, and to be in the head of for a quick while. What will really stick with me is the writing, and I'm really interested in reading more by this author.
Many thanks to Faber and Faber Ltd & NetGalley for the eARC. All opinions are my own.
May 18, 2026
Loved the way this was written- a nicely crafted story
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews