The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue

by Zoulfa Katouh

From the celebrated author of As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow comes a poignant novel about a Syrian American girl who uses a magical sketchbook to turn her grief into art, painting miraculous murals of her mother’s life in Syria.

Seventeen-year-old Jihad Dabbagh has always seen life with a heightened sense for colors, one of many magical blessings the women in her family possess. But Jihad's gift changes depending on her mood. When depression sets in, the world is a colorless oasis, and in the wake of her mother's sudden death, the world has become a permanent shade of grey.

Broken by tragedy, Jihad's family doesn't believe her color loss. Her father sends her to the elite Braxton Academy to finish her senior year. There, Jihad's name and hijab put a target on her back. Her haven comes in the form of an old sketchbook carved from a tree in her hometown in Syria—a country she only knew through her mother's stories. Jihad hasn't picked up a brush in over a year, but finds herself channeling the colors of her hurt, pain, and grief as she paints the story of her mother's journey in Syria.

When graffiti of that same mural starts magically popping up all over New York, her art goes viral and the world takes notice, the threat of legal consequences is imminent. To reclaim her voice, Jihad will have to paint a new future for herself and Braxton, guided by the resilience of her mother's story.

Genres: Young Adult, Magical Realism, Fantasy, Contemporary, Fiction, Romance, Coming Of Age

364 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 2, 2026

About the author

All Zoulfa wanted was to lay in her bed and eat sliced mango all day long with no single thought in her mind, but now she has two jobs, scientist and author. She has girlbossed so close to the sun, that she's burning. She lost the original plot.

Reviews

[Clace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rtc fosho just wait you guys ✋️
_
Very, very, very impulsive but I felt like reading it because I miss it so much.
__
This book had me raging, it had me sobbing, and it made me feel so helpless 😭 I loved how zoulfa write. rtc
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As long as the lemon trees grow was a masterpiece that I have read 3 times 😭 and my last reread was during Ramadan, so I want to read her new book during this month as well 🤭 like you guys don't understand the mess that book made me, I never cry while reading books but that one made me SOB 😔😔 expecting the same from this <3

[shanayaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

— 4/5 stars

Okay, so in my pre-read review, I said that getting the ARC of this book felt like a dream come true and I still stand by that. But what I didn’t expect was that this “dream” would turn into something so real, so raw, that it would actually shake me awake. Because that’s exactly what this book did. It felt like a reality check. A slap to the face. The kind that forces you to open your eyes whether you’re ready or not.

This book pulled me out of that comfortable little bubble we all sometimes live in. You know, the one where we scroll past pain, ignore injustice, and convince ourselves that since it’s not happening to us, it’s somehow distant… less real. But it’s not. And this book makes sure you feel that.

It made me realize how often we choose silence. How often we look away from suffering, inequality, and injustice simply because it doesn’t directly affect us. And that realization? It’s uncomfortable. It’s heavy. But it’s also necessary.

I truly appreciate Zoulfa Katouh for writing something so powerful, for using her voice to speak about issues that are often ignored especially for women, and more specifically Muslim women who are judged, misunderstood, and reduced to stereotypes because of their identity or appearance. Reading this felt like witnessing truths that people don’t talk about enough, and it honestly shook me to my core.

It’s heartbreaking to know that people go through so much pain just because of what they believe in, or how they choose to live their lives. And what’s even more unsettling is how normalized that indifference has become.

Because at the end of the day, injustice is injustice. It doesn’t matter who it happens to. Turning a blind eye doesn’t make you neutral it makes you part of the problem. And I firmly believe that staying silent in the face of wrong is just as damaging as committing it.

This book didn’t just tell a story. It made me think, reflect, and most importantly feel. And I think that’s something we all need a little more of.

➳ ABOUT THE BOOK

So this book revolves around a girl named Jihad.
And yes, even her name carries weight different meanings, different interpretations, depending on who’s saying it and how they choose to see it. But at its core, it means a fighter. And that’s exactly who she is. A fighter in every sense of the word.

She has spent her entire life trying to carve out a space for herself in a world that doesn’t always make room for people like her. A Muslim girl, living in a non-Muslim country trying to exist, to belong, to be seen beyond the labels people so easily place on her. She grew up believing in a certain version of the world, one her mother taught her about. But as she grows older, she realizes that reality is far more brutal. This world doesn’t always protect you. Sometimes, it just watches.

And that, to me, was one of the most heartbreaking parts. The way people turn a blind eye. The way someone can be harassed in the middle of the street, and others just… look away. That silence, that indifference, it says so much. Because sometimes, the people who do nothing are just as responsible as the ones causing harm.

But as if that wasn’t enough, Jihad goes through something even more devastating, she loses her mother. And that loss changes everything. She feels lost, directionless, like a part of her has been taken away forever. You can feel her grief, her confusion, her quiet struggle to keep going.Her father and sister try to support her, to help her move forward, and that’s how she ends up at Barrington University.

But things don’t get easier.

She starts realizing that people aren’t always who they claim to be. Even her childhood best friend, Alexis —someone she thought would always stand by her—turns into one of those people who dismiss her feelings, who say things like “you’re being too sensitive” or “it’s not that serious.” And honestly, that kind of betrayal hurts in a different way. Because it comes from someone you trusted.

As a hijabi, Jihad faces judgment, whispers, assumptions, things that slowly grow louder and more suffocating. At first, it’s subtle. But as time passes, it gets worse. The stares, the rumors, the quiet cruelty, it all builds up.

And then there’s Jamie.

Jamie was such a refreshing presence in the story. He didn’t come in like some grand savior, but more like someone who genuinely cared. Someone who saw her for who she truly was. Their bond starts off soft and simple, but of course, being in a high school setting, it quickly becomes the center of rumors and unnecessary drama.But what I loved the most about Jamie is that he helped her reconnect with herself. Not just her passion for art, but her identity, her strength, her sense of worth. He reminded her of who she was beneath all the noise, all the judgment.

And honestly, I truly, truly loved his character for that.


➳ ABOUT THE CHARACTERS

Okay, so I’m going to be really honest here, this book was not what I expected at all. I went in thinking it would be something soft, something comforting… but instead, it hit me like a brutal slap to the face. And I don’t even mean that in a bad way, it was just intense, raw, and very, very real.

At the beginning, I struggled a bit. The writing felt a little boring to me, and I just couldn’t fully get into it. It took me some time to actually connect with the story. But once it picked up oh my God, I devoured it. I’m not even exaggerating, I think I read the major chunk in like two hours because I just couldn’t stop. It was less about the plot at that point and more about the reality it was showing. The fact that people actually go through all of this it genuinely shook me.

And Jihad, what a character. Truly. Initially, I’ll admit, I didn’t like her much. I thought she was overly emotional, maybe even a little too sensitive. But as the story unfolded, I realized she wasn’t any of that, she was just a girl trying to find her place in a world that constantly made her feel like she didn’t belong. And that changes everything.
She wasn’t weak. She was fighting. Fighting every single day to exist, to be seen, to be heard. And honestly, that takes so much strength. She was never meant to fit in, she was meant to stand out, to shine. But the sad truth is, no matter how brightly you shine, there will always be people trying to dim your light. And that’s exactly what this book showed so painfully well.

I absolutely ended up loving her character. The way she stood up for herself, the way she kept going despite everything, it was inspiring in a way that feels heavy but necessary. It really felt like an eye-opener, watching someone fight so hard just to have a space in this world.

Now let’s talk about Alexis, because what the actual hell was that? I genuinely hated her. Like, with my whole heart. I kept expecting her to be there for Jihad, to stand by her side, to prove that at least one person wouldn’t turn their back on her. But no. She turned out to be one of the worst kinds of people, the kind who dismiss your pain, who make you question your own reality. That betrayal hurt more than anything.

And then there’s Jamie. Honestly, Jamie felt like a breath of fresh air in the middle of all that chaos. He was kind, patient, and actually listened. He didn’t try to fix her or silence her, he just made her feel seen and understood. And I think that’s what made him so special. He gave her something she had been craving all along, a sense of belonging.

I also loved how their bond wasn’t defined by religion or cultural differences. They came from completely different worlds, yet what connected them was something so simple and so important, humanity.

Because at the end of the day, before anything else, we are human. And that’s something people tend to forget.

➳ FINAL THOUGHTS

This book is honestly something I feel anyone and everyone should read. It’s not just a story, it’s an experience, a reflection of realities that people often choose to ignore. I truly loved how the author portrayed the indifference, the injustice, and the quiet suffering that so many women go through, especially Muslim women, who are constantly judged just because of how they choose to dress or simply because of who they are.

What stood out to me the most was how unapologetically real this book was. It didn’t try to sugarcoat anything. It didn’t hold back. While so many people hesitate to speak about these issues or avoid showing the harsh truth, quite literally Zoulfa Katouh held up a mirror in front of us, and that takes courage. And I deeply, deeply respect that.


It also wasn’t just limited to one group, it reflected the broader reality of how women, in general, face indifference and injustice in ways that are often dismissed or normalized. Reading it felt heavy at times, but also necessary. Like something you need to sit with.

The only small issue I had was that it took me a while to fully get into the book. Maybe it was my reading slump, maybe life was just getting in the way, but it did take some time for me to truly connect with it. However, once I reached the peak, there was no stopping me. I absolutely devoured it.
Overall, I really did love this book. It was powerful, emotional, and incredibly eye-opening. The only reason I’m not giving it a full five stars is because it took me a while to get into it. The slow start kind of affected my overall experience, and I feel like it disrupted the flow for me a little.


⚘ "Overall, if you’re in the mood for a book that will crush your soul, but also comfort you at the same time, this might just be the perfect book for you! 💌

— Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.


-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

౨ৎ pre-read:
⤿ started - 20 February, 2026

getting the ARC for this book felt like a dream come true 😭🤞🏻

[Saranya [uni- s.ia.] · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25 stars!

This was such a beautiful and evocative read. The writing was stunningly poetic and lyrical that it felt as if I were living in the story itself. It was as if I forgot how to breathe. The fmc and her sister's childhood stories were incredibly moving. I will admit, they brought me to tears many a times while reading this novel. However, while the emotional core was stunning, I did run into a few hurdles with the story that kept it from being a perfect 5-star experience.

This book offers a burning and sizzling look at the mech. of Islamophobia and the weight of being Arab in a space that does not want you to take up room. While I understand that the fmc’s silence is a realistic reflection of the trauma and exhaustion that come with constant discrimination she had to face, it was deeply painful to witness. I found myself frequently wishing she would claim her power and it was incredibly frustrating to watch her remain quiet while her name, her faith and her very character were disparaged by those around her.

The characterisation was incredibly thin.
Aside from Jamie, the only character who truly was amazing was Amal, Jihad's sister. As an eldest daughter myself, I felt a deep, instant connection to her role. But I seriously could not distinguish among her friends. They all sounded the same- no difference. It was unbelievable at times seeing that the only person in the school with a sane mind to be Jamie (the mmc) and literally no other pupil, not even the teachers. The only person apart from Jamie I liked was Amal- the reason (probably) is that, that I'm the eldest daughter in my family too and I could relate to her.

Now, focusing on Jihad- as much as I wanted to love this, she made it a challenge. She felt less like a person and more like a collection of tragic circumstances. Even taking her trauma into account, it is frustrating because the book had so much going for it, but a protagonist without a clear personality makes for a very long read.

At the same time, I do recognize that her silence and hesitation likely reflect the reality of the systemic discrimination of her religion and culture. But then again, her behaviour with her father and her sister in her book made me forget about what she was going through and made me want to scream at her and put some sense in her. And the way she was not standing by herself from the very moment she entered her new school made it incredibly painful to watch everything unfold. Yes, I do understand that- not everyone responds with such confidence. Her reactions did sound real but it was painful to view it all.

The ending, however was beautiful but bittersweet. The author chose realism over revenge, which was the right move artistically, even if it’s emotionally unsatisfying. After everything she went through, I just wanted to see a glimpse of her and Jamie’s future together. I would have given anything for an extended ending.
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
.☘︎ ݁˖ 𝐏𝐫𝐞-𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝:

Although I haven't read As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow yet, the glowing reviews have me intrigued!! Anyways, buddy reading with my granddaughter, ishyyy

Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers for the arc in exchange for an honest review.

Publication Date: 2 June 2026

[Nancy •͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ (semi hiatus till 2027) · Rating 5 out of 5]

──⟡⋆˙✩ 5 stars ✩ ⋆˙⟡──

The best thing about this book is how unapologetically Muslim it is. My religion is not diluted, condensed so others can feel comfortable. It is not reshaped into something easier to swallow, softer, quieter, more “acceptable.” It does not bend itself into something aesthetic for the masses. It does not apologize for existing.

Instead, Islam stands here in its purest, truest, most luminous form.

My religion is beautiful. This book reminded me of that all over again. I want to cry.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 βօօҟͲąցʂ 𓍯𓂃

➽ Coming of Age
➽ Magical realism
➽ Hijabi FMC
➽ Black cat FMC x golden retriever MMC

ᥴꪮꪀꪻꫀꪀꪻ ᭙ꪖ᥅ꪀ꠸ꪀᧁᦓ:

Grief over death of a family member. Severe bullying and harassment. Racism. Islamophobia. Bleak realism over justice enacted.

     𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕀𝕤 𝔸𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥: ℕ𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕪 𝔼𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 ᯓ★

After the death of Jihad's mother, her world is leached of color, literally. Everything fades into grey, like grief has rewritten reality itself. She’s sent to a school filled with rich white kids, where she is forced to endure racism, Islamophobia, and the exhausting weight of being other.

Jihad fights. For her right to exist. For her right to wear her hijab. For her right to be.

And somewhere in that storm, she meets Jamie. A boy with a heart as vast as the ocean he’s named after. A boy who brings warmth back into a world that forgot how to hold it.

     𝕄𝕪 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔽𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ᯓ★

This book is really such a love letter to Muslims. It's heavy, yes. It depicts the Islamophobia Muslims have to face while living in a non-muslim country. It shows the suffering we have to endure, with no hope for justice.

But it also does such a good job at showing the beauty of Islam. How it's not just a religion but a way of life. How it is a source of peace for us. It's been so long since I read a book that really shows us the true image of Islam. I felt loved. I felt so much closer to my deen. I am a Muslim and have been from birth. And reading this book made me really feel the beauty of it coursing through my veins. I want to inject this book into my arteries so it goes straight to my heart, making itself a home inside my ventricles.

This book inspired me so much. It made me realize how lucky I am. How privileged, to be born in a Muslim country, to be living in a Muslim country, with a bunch of Muslim friends, to not have to fight to simply exist, to not have to justify my existence to any stranger who dresses differently than me and has different beliefs than my own.

And can we talk about “Muslim representation” in other books for a second? Because please. Half the time it feels like authors want diversity points without doing the work. Muslim characters who are conveniently not religious, as if faith itself is the problem. As if Islam only becomes “acceptable” when it’s barely there.

Can you see me rolling my eyes? Because I am.

     𝕵𝖎𝖍𝖆𝖉 𝕯𝖆𝖇𝖇𝖆𝖌𝖍 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

Jihad lives up to her name in the most powerful way. Because she fights. True to her name. She fights for her right to exist. To practice her religion. To wear her hijab. She refuses to let the bigots, islamophobes, the racists win. And refuses to be the victim. To be another tragedy.

She is a fighter. She is a warrior. She fights for the sake of Allah in her own way. This journey is her own personal Jihad.

My strong resilient precious girl.

She doesn't know. But I adore her. Damn who's cutting onions in my room

     𝕵𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖊 𝕸𝖚𝖗𝖕𝖍𝖞 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

Okay can we finally talk about what an adorable ball of literal sunshine and fluff Jamie is? He's so so cute AHH I get cuteness aggression when he's on page I wanna eat him (I mean that in a halal way) I want really to squish his cheeks I swear.

The way he would stare too long at Jihad and get all shy and bashful, and start blushing while Jihad looks at him with confusion the whole time. hkskairieisnfusjdif.

I'M OKAY I SWEAR.

On my way to pray tahajjud so I can ask Allah for a Jamie. PLEASE MY LORD. Provide me Jamie.

Zoulfa Katouh weaves such kindness into her main characters. It builds up an ache in me. I don't know what to do with a boy so kind. It makes me want to cry.

     𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 ᯓ★

The writing deserves to be framed and studied like art. I am STUNNED. Should I have been? It was the same in As Long As The Lemon Trees Grow. Zoulfa's writing has me on a chokehold.

How can someone write such a heavy book but infuse so much magic, so much whimsy into it? The ocean imagery, the jellyfish, the sea turtles, the colors slowly bleeding back into the world… it all feels like watching life return, piece by piece. Reading it made me feel magical. And that ending…

It felt like being handed a fairy tale after surviving a storm.

     (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ・Ꮖᥒ Ꮯꪮᥒᥴᥣᥙ᥉เꪮᥒ・

I reject any and all criticisms of this book.

Coming from a Muslim girl, this book written by a Muslim author, about a Muslim girl in a non-Muslim country who refuses to conform, is a masterpiece. If perfection could take a physical form and sit quietly on your shelf…

It would look exactly like this. ✩

Thank you NetGalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.




⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
        Pre-Read
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

I got the ARC. I know I'm surprised too. Gotta thank Fadheela for alerting me when she did.

I LOVED As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow. But I'm a bit nervous about this since I saw a lot of mixed reviews T_T

PLEASE DO NOT DISAPPOINT

[ivy · Rating 3 out of 5]

࣪ ˖ ֪ꮽ᱖܄ 3 stars˚ִִ꒱꒱ ִ݂

⤻ no spoiler review .

་ 💭 ⊹ ࣪୨୧ preface. 'the ocean would paint me blue' follows jahid dabbagh coping with the aftermath of losing her mother, and consequently, her ability to see colors. this is a personal narrative on how she was able to regain the ability. after her mother's death, jihad's father insisted she move to a rich school with mainly white kids, which surprise, surprise, bullied her (👊🏻). i do want to give a disclaimer that the bullying, especially towards the end, was quite harsh and difficult to read about.

𐑺゛🐙 general thoughts. maybe my expectations were a bit too high going into this book (because of 'as long as the lemon trees grow'), but it let me down nonetheless. i read alatltg extremely quick, maybe even in a day, but this one dragged... a lot. i had to arduously push through, i swear my Kindle left a dent in my desk by how many times i set it down 😭. this is going to sound harsh, but i didn't really care about the mural stuff, i was mainly looking forward to how jihad got her justice against the bullies. the writing could've possibly contributed to this — it felt very flowery and focused more on the little details & description of colors than the actual story 🥴. this isn't to say that this was all bad though; it was a very beautiful and inspiring read, but just not an interesting one, unfortunately.

⸝⸝ the characters ⁺໒꒱

ᡣ𐭩 — jihad dabbagh. there was nothing inherently wrong with the fmc or the mmc's characters, especially with jihad. i completely understood why she didn't stand up for herself in the beginning, especially after seeing what the bullies were capable of doing to her later in the book. her character growth in this book was actually very, very admirable. i feel like it's something that many poc can relate to and possibly find some comfort in, which i heavily respect zoulfa katouh for.

ᡣ𐭩 — jamie murphy. he was very bland 🤧. when he came into the book, i really didn't understand why he was so taken with her, and the rest of the book was basically just him seeking her approval. i loved how he stood up for her... but isn't that just the bare minimum when you see someone getting bullied 😭 ? he was sweet, though, just nothing memorable.

#. ❧ the relationship was very eh. again, i feel like i would've enjoyed the book so much more if it was mainly focusing on jihad's character development. i think that they're perfect for each other, but since the relationship took up so. much. of the book, it really lowered the rating. they're that one wholesome couple on reality tv that is really cute, but no one really focuses on.

ʚɞ ╴✷ i felt so much fury while reading this book. while i am not personally muslim or from the Middle East, i feel like this book can be deeply relatable to every POC. the feeling of being the only POC in the room is something that we would all like to avoid (most of the time) because our life experiences are just so different. and seeing jihad getting bullied and harassed like THAT.. wow, we desperately need to fix our world. i think how zoulfa katouh portrayed the POC experience was so brave and real, i loved that she didn't shy away from the daily harassment that many of us face.

﹏﹒✦ overall, this was a beautiful read. zoulfa katouh has officially cemented herself as someone who has a lovely and delicate but also raw and biting prose, and i think what she decides to represent and challenge in her books is something that we need more of. i'm so happy to have received this ARC, and i am already excited for her next release!

⋆ big thanks to netgalley for providing me this ARC in exchange for an honest review <3

⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹ ﹒ ⁺ ﹒ ⊹

˒˒🌊 pre read ˒˒࿐· started jun 1・xxvi 𖦞.˖
i have one day to finish this book, which isn't going to happen, but at least i'll try. 'as long as the lemon trees grow' was such a touching story, i am so excited to see what zoulfa katouh does with her sophomore novel 🪼🩷!

ꗃ thank you netgalley for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review! ഒ

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue written by Zoulfa Katouh was authentic, emotional, beautiful, poetic, heart breaking, lyrical, real, gut wrenching, raw, powerful, honest, and heart tugging. Reading this book was such an unforgettable experience for me, the pain seeped off of the pages into my heart and soul, my kindle just absorbed so many tears because Zoulfa's writing is so beautiful it just tugs at your heart strings. I'm so blessed and honored to have had the chance to read this book early, not only was it real, but it shook me to my core that so many people are completely clueless about Islamophobia and the realities that people have to live in fear of their lives every single day because of their religion, their Faith, their skin color, and their beliefs. Reading this book didn't feel like following a story, it felt like stepping into someone else's life. This book felt like a slap to the face, so many people stay silent on the pain, injustice, and suffering of other people because it doesn't directly effect them, but let me say something, it's happening all around us, it might be uncomfortable, but it's happening right in front of our faces every single day. I had so many emotions while I was reading this book, I was heart broken, I was angry, I was hurt, I was outraged, and I felt so helpless. If you are looking for a book that will shred your heart to pieces and bleed into your bones, y'all better mark your calendars for June 2nd, 2026 for the publication of The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue because I truly believe every single person needs to read this book. It took me a little bit to gather my thoughts, but I don't think the amount of words I have will give this book the justice it deserves. ❤️🕊️My thoughts, condolences, and prayers go out to everyone who has ever suffered or is suffering from this unimaginable pain and heartache❤️🕊️.

THANK YOU TO NETGALLEY AND LITTLE BROWN BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS FOR AN ARC OF THIS BOOK IN EXCHANGE FOR AN HONEST REVIEW!!!!!!

♪♡ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan♪♡
0:56───|────── 4:41

જ⁀➴ᥫ᭡Jihad, noun: A struggle to become the best version of yourself. To overcome obstacles. To be strong. To dream despite it all. To survive. To liveજ⁀➴ᥫ᭡.

"💙🐠Maybe the ocean water would paint me blue and the sun's rays would make me glow like gold💙🐠".

"❣️🧸I will have to live the rest of my life without my mama in it❣️🧸".

"💙⚖️Words are just that, uneven ground that crumbles at the slightest pressure💙⚖️".

"💓🌈Jihad means to strive. To battle something big. I fought for my life and won💓🌈".

"💘🌵There is no difference between rich and poor. Between any color. What matters is who you are as a person💘🌵".

"💝😭My freedom here is borrowed time; it's me apologizing for existing💝😭".

Jihad Dabbagh is a Syrian American born and raised in Queens, New York, but takes her heritage very seriously. Her parents always talk about their homeland, their ancestors, and they always try their best at making Syrian food. It's so beautiful to see people honor and respect their heritage and beliefs despite not living in that country. After high school, Jihad wants to go to the college of dreams in San Francisco, California- Opus School of Art because she absolutely loves creating art and she is oh so very talented. Jihad's mama- Zaina had lung cancer, Zaina used to say it was because she's an island girl and her body craved the saltiness of the sea. Zaina was cancer free, but one afternoon she went grocery shopping when a heartless person decided that Zaina didn't deserve to live anymore. I can't even imagine the pain of losing my mama just because one cold heartless person decided she didn't deserve to live, my heart just shattered for Jihad. I mean Jihad grew out her hair in case her mom wanted it after chemotherapy, that was such a beautiful moment that made me sob like a little baby. After the death of her mom, Jihad's father enrolls her at Braxton Academy which is an elite school to finish out her senior year. At Braxton, Jihad is the first ever Muslim to attend, but her first day of school had me absolutely flabbergasted, the rude comments had me raging to my core. Jihad's childhood best friend Alexis also attends Braxton Academy, but let me just tell y'all this girl is insanely rude and a major bitch, the amount of times I wanted to slap her across the face will never be told.

One day, Jihad stumbles across a sketchbook hidden in her mama's make up vanity but she also needs a sketchbook filled with artwork for her Opus submission, so I think this part played out perfectly. In this sketchbook, Jihad uses art to honor her mom's life in Syria and her beautiful precious soul, but as Jihad starts creating these beautiful breath taking art pieces, those same art pieces start magically appearing as murals all over buildings in New York. This beloved sketchbook that Jihad found was carved from a tree in her home country of Syria. Jihad has always seen life with a heightened sense for colors, which is one of many magical blessings the women in her family possesses. After the death of her beautiful mama, Jihad's world has become a permanent shade of gray. Jihad has a talent for creating art, she details so many of those sketches in this book, but I picked out two that I really loved. One mural Jihad created was a gorgeous girl suspended in the middle of the ocean- infinite blue around her surrounded by millions of jellyfish, but one is cupped in her hand. One other mural I truly loved was a drawing of a body with it's insides decayed with flowers growing along veins and the heart is wilted. Jihad's artwork is purely chaotic, but it's how she expresses her grief, pain, and feelings. Jihad is so young at just seventeen years old, despite all of the shitty things thrown at her, she carries herself with so much grace. When Jihad cried, I cried a million times more, it's like I made a swimming pool out of my own tears. ❤️🍒🥀Jihad, my precious girl, I love you so much. I wish I could hold your hand and walk through this life and crazy world with you❤️🍒🥀.

Jamie Murphy, the young man that you are truly brought me so much comfort and joy. Jamie lived on a farm in Wisconsin with his grandma before moving to Queens, New York. In Queens, his parents built up an IT company where they have now settled their lives. Jamie also attends Braxton Academy with Jihad. At Braxton, Jihad is made to be a joke, students laugh at her, they make fun of her, they make rude comments about her, but Jamie is always there to save Jihad whenever she needs to be saved from hateful words and actions. Jamie is like a warm snuggly comforting blanket. When Jamie talks to you, you're the only one who matters in that moment. Jamie shows so much unconditional kindness towards Jihad, he wants to know about Jihad's culture, but he's always so respectful, he never judges her, he always listens closely to what she has to say. Jamie treats Jihad like the person she has always wanted to be treated as. I mean, this man even bought Jihad a warm vanilla latte and always constantly showed up for her. Jamie has an infectious laugh that truly felt like a warm breath of fresh air. Jamie and Jihad both have deep trauma that was heart breakingly beautiful. When they spend time together, Jihad makes Jamie food from Syria, and Jamie makes Jihad food from Vietnam, before I forget to mention, Jamie's family is Vietnamese. When Jamie and Jihad went to Coney Island together, it felt like I had lemonade flying out of my nose at their silly hilarious banter, it was so funny it had me wheezing. Jamie's nickname was Mango, because his mom craved mangoes during her pregnancy, this was such a beautiful heart felt moment when Jamie told Jihad this story. I will never ever be able to forget these two beautiful souls. ❤️🍒🥀Jamie, I love you with my whole heart, your presence was so comforting through this book, you're such an ooey gooey cinnamon roll that I just want to give you the biggest hug for being such a bright light for my girl Jihad❤️🍒🥀.

[fadheela ♡ (reading slump semi ia)]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷・❥・𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓮𝔀・❥・ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

⤿🪼19/02/26
OMG I GOT THE ARC, LITERALLY THE BEST RAMADAN GIFT EVER!!😭💓 I can't believe I have her now *crying in disbelief* It's "READ NOW" in netgalley for the next 24 hours, SO RUN BESTIES!!!!!🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏻‍♀️‍➡️

⤿🪼28/01/26
the cover is revealed now OMG SHE'S A BEAUTY 🥹😭💘 I've been camping out here for 4 YEARS AAAA I'M ABSOLUTELY GOING FERAL RN Y'ALL HAVE NO IDEA ASDFGHJKL 😩✋🏻

[Azanta (azantareads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

i did in fact have the pleasure of reading this a couple months ago and yes, i wept

I like to think of this book like A Very Large Expanse of Sea but respectful and with much better Muslim representation. it healed something in me that i didn't realize i had been hurting from, and spent the entire end of the book weeping – both in reflection for how beautiful this book was (i love Zoulfa's writing and will read literally anything she writes) but also mourning and grieving for the girl i was in high school who really, really needed to read this book. i feel lucky to live at the same time as books like Zoulfa's, whose FMCs are proud Muslims and pay a beautiful homage to Syria. this was easily one of the best books i've read.

[Laura Lovesreading · Rating 5 out of 5]

TOOK ALL MY EMOTIONS AND RIPPED THEM INTO LITTLE PIECES

The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue is a heart-wrenching YA novel about Jihad Dabbagh, a Syrian American Muslim teen who loses the ability to see colour following her mother's sudden death. Navigating grief and intense Islamophobia at an elite, mostly white academy, Jihad finds healing and her voice through a magical sketchbook.

What can I say? Ms. Katouh has done it again and shattered me with her literary fiction that just hits so raw and personally if I was told it was a bio I would fully believe.

If you read As Long As The Lemon Trees Grows and was deeply impacted by that book well buckle up for this one. The book is based in America this time but the same struggle and pain is no different for Syrian American seventeen-year-old Jihad Dabbagh.

OMG this girl has stolen my heart, and she is another character who has truly altered my brain chemistry.

This is a novel focusing on heartbreak, tragedy, racism, friendships and a subtle romance sub plot. Zoulfa writes in the way where it’s impossible to put the book down because you just don’t want to leave the main character alone. Even at times when I did have to put it down, Jihad and Jamie stayed on my mind consistently.

The magic realism of the art Jihads creates in her sketchbook that start appearing as graffiti of that same mural all over New York gave me goosebumps and I really enjoyed those chapters of the surreal- ness of it all.

The friendships she tried to make while at school was so difficult to read. I don’t get what benefit people get out of bullying and the whole ‘hurt people hurt people’ BS needs to get in the bin. Some people are just genuinely wicked and very privileged and them basing false narratives and biases needs to stop.

As much as I love a happy ending the penultimate part of the book read a little to convenient and although I did enjoy it, I wondered if realistically it would have played out that easily. Either way this is a book that will stick with me forever and I am already anticipating this authors next novel.




4.5 ⭐


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
⋆｡°✩pre read⋆｡°✩
After As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow ...
I sense another masterpiece with this new release!
I have my tissues ready! Lets gooooo!
💙💙💙💙

[veerali · Rating 4 out of 5]

thank you netgalley and little, brown books for the eARC—all thoughts are my own!
✦ publication date: june 02, 2026

TORE MY HEART OUT

when we read stories about islamophobia, we have to face a hard truth: hate it is a painful reality for millions of people. this story acts like a mirror to that hate. it shows a world where being different is used as a weapon. it shows how a judgmental look or harsh words can hurt someone deeply and stay with them for a long time. hate comes in many forms like a mean glance to actual physical violence. but the damage caused by this kind of hate is irreparable because, while a physical wounds might heal, the emotional pain caused by racism can last for a lifetime.

i couldn't put this book down. it was such an emotional story and i spent most of it in tears. zoulfa deals with bullying, grief, and loss in a way that feels so damn real and honest. the main character jihad, went through a lot of bad experiences, and her growth kept me until the very last page. the writing is sooo beautiful, haunting, and unforgettable. i truly don't have enough words to explain how much this book means to me.

please pick this up the moment it’s released. you won't regret it!

⤿ magical realism
⤿ grief and loss
⤿ friendship, identitity
⤿ romance as a sub plot

౨ৎ ⋮ more by zoulfa katouh
— as long as the lemon trees grow

[vaishnavi ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠* · Rating 4 out of 5]

book #10 of m(arc)h challenge, where I try to read ALL the arcs I have in the month of March, which has now very clearly spilled into April, but I read most of this in March so I'm choosing to honor intent over technicality 😙💖

this is a deeply poignant read, a book that'll have you sobbing by the end. grief is not treated as one singular, dramatic event here, but something that alters everyday life.

the final third of this book is where everything becomes so much better. I did struggle with some of the characters, though: alexia's friends were wayyy too similar to each other and jamie felt almost too perfect to be real. I found myself wanting a little more *something* there, *something* that would make him feel less like an idea and more like a person. but even that didn't take away from my overall experience, which says a lot about how strong the writing was.

but jihad, i loved her. i loved how she chooses to not reduce herself. i loved how her faith is not diluted for palatability, nor is it framed defensively; it simply exists as something integral to her.

── .✦ pre-read 𖹭.ᐟ
got the arc yayyy!! 🥳

[⁠*⁠♡Lilac⁠*⁠♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was breaking me page by page but when I reached the end that's where the tears started to flow 🥲 so satisfying.

[DianaRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

firstly, thank you to the publisher for an arc!

4.5 stars — i was very excited to dive into the ocean would paint me blue; the last book that i read by zoulfa katouh was her debut, as long as the lemon tree grows, and i believe i was in college during that time! it was nice to return to her writing as an adult.

the ocean would paint me blue follows our fmc jihad dabbagh, who has always seen life with a heightened sense for colors, one of many magical blessings the women in her family possess. however, jihad's gift changes depending on her mood, and when depression sets in, her whole world becomes colorless... but reignites and slowly becomes colorful when she becomes friends with jamie, and manages to grapple with the grief of her mother’s traumatic death.

i also listened to the audiobook, and the narrator did a great job!

[Aya ☕︎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm devastated, satisfied, and unsatisfied all at once. You can say my brain has erred. What happened to Jihad is no less than horrifying 😭 I don't know how she went through all of this and ended up being a decent human being 💔 She was so relatable; being a hijabi and grieving the loss of a parent myself the book physically touched my heart and utterly broke it. I'm both satisfied and unsatisfied simultaneously with the ending; knowing that Jihad didn't get to have her vengeance, yet also realizing that this was the only logical and realistic ending the book could have had. How I wished for an extended epilogue showing how Jihad and Jamie's relationship ended up. Absolutely One of the best books of 2026 💙

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚𝕻𝖗𝖊-𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Update:

Oh my God you guys 😭😭😭😭😭 I've got a Ramadan gift 😭😭😭😭 and it's "read now" on Netgalley
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚..........˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆
I've been stalking Zoulfa's IG for nearly two and a half years, waiting for this book, and now I'm checking NetGalley every single day, waiting for the ARC to be dropped. So please, please, please, give me the darn book. 😭

[nadine · Rating 2 out of 5]

dnf @62%. I was really enjoying the book and liked the story a lot. Unfortunately, the fmc made it very hard for me to keep enjoying it.

I understand that the things she went through in her life aren’t easy to deal with, and trauma and discrimination can deeply affect how someone reacts in difficult situations. Still, I often found myself wishing she would stand up for herself. It was frustrating to watch people speak badly about her, her name, and her religion while she stayed silent. At times I just wanted to tell her: why let these idiots make you feel small just because you’re Arab and wear a hijab?

At the same time, I can recognize that her silence and hesitation might reflect the reality many people face when dealing with discrimination. Not everyone reacts with confidence or confrontation, and the fear of making things worse can be very real. In that sense, her reactions added a layer of realism to the character, even if it was difficult to watch her endure it.

Ultimately, I had to stop halfway through because the frustration outweighed my enjoyment, but I can still appreciate what the author may have been trying to portray through this character.

[vicky ꨄ︎ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25*

This was very beautifully written with deep meanings and a very interesting plot. The first half of the story flew by so quickly. I was so engaged to see what happens and how our fmc would survive at her new school. The magical realism added into this book was so so intriguing, even though it was small it had such a huge impact on the story itself.

The reason as to why this wasn’t a four star is that the second half of the story had lost me completely. I have no idea as to why but I wasn’t engaged as much as I was in the beginning and found the story dragging. Personally in my opinion the story was too long and very slow paced. I do wish that we got more closure at the end but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.

A lot of the characters lacked depth in the story mostly Alexis and her group of friends. They were all literally the same person, nothing was different about them. The mc also was too perfect in my opinion, he had no flaws which I found weird.



Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for an honest review.




————————————-

𐙚⋆°. preread

I’ve been putting off reading this arc for such a long time that I actually need to read it before it comes out. Also yes I’m gonna spend my birthday reading this book cause why not.

[ellie (semi ia) · Rating 3 out of 5]

— 3.5 ☆ .ᐟ ⌗ 🌊 spoiler free + mini review
⤷ OKAYY THIS WAS FUN (also heartbreaking)

୨ arc @netgalley
⋆˚࿔ 55th review of the year

𐔌♯┆she's all the colors of bravery .ᐟ ⊹.

⌗ ꒰ my thoughts ꒱ 🪼
⤷ overall i had such a blast with this! i would've never picked it up if i didn't get the chance to get an early physical copy as well as the arc widget! i LOVED zoulfa's debut and this was a very anticipated sophomore novel! safe to say it didn't disappoint! (dont let my rating fool you)

with still gorgeous writing, deep meanings, and an intriguing plot, the ocean would paint me blue is something you should try! the reason this wasn't a four star or more is because i couldn't connect to our characters at times. + i feel there were a lot of things i would've loved answers to. there were also magical realism elements to this but it wasn't as fully flushed out imo!

i would also like to caution the bullying that take places in this book. at times it was so hard to read and i felt SO deeply for jihad and what she had to go thru :( so beware! also sometimes the book felt a BIT slow to me (even though it was just 350!) all in all i would rec, and i loved that the chapter titles were colors 😚

୭ book summary: when the world becomes harsh and jihad's world turns upside down, the world is colorless to her. she can't see nothing but black and white. sadly, she gets sent to an elite private school (braxton academy) where now there's a target on her back because of her name and hijab. with fighting strength, jihad paints beautiful murals all over new york to send a message.. read on to find out!

all in all, im already anticipating when zoulfa will release her 3rd book!! enjoy everyone <3 and lets appreciate the GORGEOUS cover! info here:

⌗ ꒰ tropes ꒱
⋆ set in nyc
⋆ muslim lead
⋆ sisterly relationship
⋆ painting and artistry

⌗ ꒰ info ꒱
⤷ find my book review on goodreads @elliexreads + booksta
⤷ this is recommended for young adult readers (14+)
⤷ YA contemporary fiction novel
publish date: june 2, 2026

₊‧ all ratings and opinions are my own ₊‧
⤷ thank you to colored pages BT and netgalley + author for the arc in exchange for an honest review !

spoilers for things i wish got answers:
i wish alexis could've changed for the better..
the people who bullied her NEED to the consequences, where did nicole go?!
i would've loved to see jihad seeing her niece/nephew
i hope jamie and her find each other post college!

---------

🌊 — pre-read .ᐟ ⌗

𐔌 ♯┆5.27.26
⤷ so honored to be reading this! if you have NOT read zoulfa's debut.. PLEASE DO. one of my five stars 🥹 when i heard she was coming out with this novel i couldn't be more excited! thank you to the publishers and cpbt for a finished copy + the arc <3

out: june 2nd!

[Flora (Helia's version) · Rating 5 out of 5]

IT HURTS

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Lilyya ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Katouh’s books are beautifully written. they force you to confront realities that are too often pushed aside because of religion, skin color, politics, or simply because the people living them are not placed at the center of mainstream narratives. reading her work feels less like following a story & more like stepping into someone else’s life.

her books have been unforgettable experiences. heartbreaking from beginning to end. what makes her prose so impactful is that the pain on page does not feel distant or fictional. for many, these struggles are not confined to a novel, they are part of everyday life, shaped by discrimination & systems that continually remind them they do not belong.

this book resonated deeply with me. recent events only made its themes (islamophobia) feel more urgent. It reminded me to remain connected to realities that are too often reduced to headlines.

Jihad was such a compelling protagonist. she’s navigating grief, a new school & the uncertainty that comes with being young & trying to rebuild your footing after tragedy. at the same time, she is constantly confronted with assumptions about who she is & what her faith supposedly says about her. I loved how the novel carefully dismantled those prejudices, particularly the misconceptions surrounding Muslim women. rather than turning its characters into symbols.

one of my favorite aspects of the book was Jamie. his friendship with Jihad brought so much warmth to the story. he showed up for her when she needed someone most. their bond felt comforting and deeply necessary amidst everything else she was carrying.

I also loved the artwork distilled throughout the novel. It added another layer of emotion to an already powerful story. while I’m still processing the ending, it didn’t diminish my appreciation for the book. more than anything, this is a story that invites empathy. It asks readers to look beyond clichés and see the people behind them. Its message is conveyed with sincerity & remarkable emotional depth. a beautiful book & one I genuinely believe everyone should read at least once.


many thanks to the publisher for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review

[ishraq ★ · Rating 4 out of 5]

🪼.⌗. three point five stars ★
⊱ publishing on june 2nd, 2026 ˎˊ˗

“I am a blade of grass, the drop of courage, the warmth in a mother's eyes, the sliver of moonlight guiding the path, the lilt of voices speaking in Arabic, the curve of the curlicues, the ink in the calligraphy inscribing poetry on marble walls, the sunrise orange, and the twilight blue.”

⠀ ⠀This was absolutely amazing. I adored every little thing about this book and barely have any complaints.

⠀ ⠀The writing style is what I loved most about this book. It was the very epitome of “show, not tell.” Emotions were described in vivid, dark colors; reading this gave me the same feeling I had whenever I blended my watercolor paints to my satisfaction. The resulting colors were not always the ones I had in mind, but the process of the brush dipping in water and the colors colliding to create something only in your imagination will never fail to be beautiful.

⠀ ⠀The plot was very intriguing. Not to mention, raw and realistic with a dash of magic. It is a well-known fact of the injustice muslim people face. I will never understand the ideology of one person in a community making a mistake resulting in the whole community facing punishment. America is dictated by a pedophile, but I don’t see people pointing fingers at white people and screaming “PEDO!!” Atlas, that’s just the harsh truth of the world, and this book unravels these truths perfectly. Watching our main character, Jihad, struggle as a hijabi and a girl who lost her mother was heartbreaking . The unfair treatment she faced just because of her name and the scarf she wrapped around her head had me frustrated at what society has shaped the world to be. The author did not spare mercy on us readers- she did not soften the reality of what muslims have to face, and I adored her for doing so. Not to mention, not only does Jihad face bullying in school, but she has to deal with financial and family issues. Oh, my heart!

⠀ ⠀The magical aspect of the book had to be the most interesting part of the book, though. The little dash of magic had to be the reason why this story would have any reader ensnared within all the words. Little blessings were being passed to the women in Jihad’s family that were not the normal superpowers in every fantasy book you read, but gifts that spoke to one’s heart. From talking to trees and learning the stories they keep in their roots to seeing the colors of a person’s soul.

⠀ ⠀My only complaint has to be that the ending was pretty dull, after all the conflict and drama the main character faces, I was expecting a much grander ending. But that’s just me.

✴︎ a special thank you to netgalley and author for an arc! 🌊⋆

[Aanz ꪆৎ ( burnout hiatus) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ──★ !!
↳ ┆ .✦゛ 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 : march 7 ˎˊ˗
↳ ┆ .✦ ゛𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 : march 19ˎˊ˗
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

⟢ ❝ 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐚 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐜, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐨𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞❞

₊˚꒰🪼꒱‧ 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 ‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🐋
Seventeen year old Jihad Dabbagh can see life in colors, a magical gift from the women in her family. But after her mom dies, everything turns gray and she can’t feel or see the colors anymore.Her family doesn’t get it, so her dad sends her to a fancy school. There, she sticks out because of her name and hijab and faces a lot of hate. The only thing that helps her is an old sketchbook from her mom’s Syrian hometown. Jihad starts painting again, pouring her grief and pain into the story of her mom’s life.Then, her art starts appearing mysteriously all over New York, going viral and getting her noticed but also putting her in trouble. To find herself and her voice again, Jihad has to embrace her talent and her mother’s story to build a new future.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

₊˚꒰🪼꒱‧ 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 ‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🐋
I felt like it was extremely long and boring. Slow paced. The only part where I was not bored was towards the ending. I wished the book ended with more closure, about Jamie and Jihad’s relationship. And the characters lacked depth. All friends of Alexis seemed like the same person, with no original personality. In every good book, the character must have their strengths as well as their weakness and flaws , which make them more humane. The author intended to create Jamie as the perfect bf and male friend , but should’ve added some flaws to his character because with his perfect personality, he looked more like a superhuman. Amal was a great sister. The writing style was YA-ish and modest, very simple, which didn’t align with my taste.

The plot, about Muslims facing bullying and racism, was very raw and realistic. It genuinely shocks me that how people with peanut sized brain, based on the actions of a few people, can characterise an ENTIRE community. Muslims are genuinely one of the most kind and soft spoken people I’ve ever met. I think it would resonate more with the people in Muslim community. The amount of problem people have with a girl covering her head with a piece of cloth , OH MY GOD ITS NOT THAT HARD TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. It’s genuinely terrible how much bullying she had to face. Our dearest FMC, proceeds to do nothing about the bullying , because ofc why would the principal ever trust her?( he GENUINELY pmo so much ugh) Yes it was frustrating to see her not taking stand for herself, but She did take an initiative at the end and I sighed in relief. I love how strong and brave she was, if I were her I wouldve genuinely kms.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

₊˚꒰🪼꒱‧ 𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚅𝚎𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝 ‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🐋
It was a okayish book and I prefer Khaled hosseini’s books but nevertheless I would still recommend it!!

↳ ┆ .✦゛𝙿𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 : june 2 ˎˊ
⤷ Thank you Netgalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers and The author for this arc in exchange for an honest review! 💓

[_booktique2_ D Amora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Edit: this book did absolutely destroy me in the best way possible

I know this book is absolutely going to destroy me and I’m ready.

[My.bookish.diaries · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada and Little, Brown and Company for the gifted finished copy!

What an emotional and beautiful read 💕💕

We follow Jihad, a young girl who, after experiencing a devastating loss, loses her ability to see colour and instead sees the world only in shades of grey. Through her journey, we watch her navigate grief, loneliness, identity, love, and belonging while trying to find her place in a world that can often feel unkind.

🤍 My heart ached for Jihad. Not only was she carrying the weight of her grief, but she was also forced to navigate a new school feeling isolated and misunderstood. There were so many moments where I just wanted to reach through the pages and give her a hug.

And Jamie...

He brought so much warmth and comfort to the story. His kindness felt like a light breaking through the grey. He showed up when Jihad needed someone most, offering friendship, support, and understanding when her world felt impossibly heavy.

💔 And that twist...
Honestly, by now I should expect it from Zoulfa Katouh. She has a way of delivering emotional punches that leave your heart shattered on the floor. Even when you sense something is coming, it still hits with full force…

Beyond its beautiful storytelling, this book explores important themes of Islamophobia, identity, belonging, and cultural acceptance. It serves as a powerful reminder to stay connected to the realities and experiences of those around us.

✨ This is a book I believe everyone should read.

It highlights what it can feel like to be seen as different, and the painful reality of feeling pressured to hide parts of your culture, identity, or faith simply to fit into society's expectations.

An unforgettable reading experience that will stay with me for a very long time.
♡ 📖 🌊

[Basma · Rating 5 out of 5]

initial reaction: actually one of the most devastating books I’ve ever read, sending Zoulfa my therapy bill brb

Where do I even start? This book is everything. It's heartbreaking, it's healing, it's tragic and hopeful all in one. I think the instinct will be to compare this to As Long As The Lemon Trees Grow and I cannot emphasize enough how different this book this. While it is also devastating, it is a different kind of devastation.

I started crying a few pages in this book and I don't think I ever stopped. The grief that is stepped in these pages is overwhelming, my chest ached more and more with every chapter. I'm crying writing this review just thinking about it. And it's not just the grief of a lost parent. It's the grief of a childhood lost to Islamophobia and a country we long for.

Zoulfa always does an incredible job of putting her readers back together after she's broken them and this book truly healed me, and I am a better person for reading it. I was seen and validated and comforted. I love everything about this book and these characters and I cannot recommend it enough.

[h i n d · Rating 5 out of 5]

In one word, unapologetic. Zoulfa I will always love you.

Full review to come

Thank you to the publisher for the arc, all opinions are my own.

[✧.*Just Roodina✧.* · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to wipe this book on the floor!
It's sooo much bad everything in this book fidn't toutch me!
Just tow stars for the beautiful language!

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

She was right about the Mediterranean. His blue is so infinite and deep, I know it will paint me whole.

4.5

This is out today and thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for an honest review!

Zoulfa’s storytelling paints such a realistic and vivid reality that doesn’t fail to leave me in awe yet again. The ocean would paint me blue wasn’t on the same level of heavy as “As long as the lemon trees grow” but it moved me all the same. Her stories are ones that demand to be told and read. This book was a story of hope, magic, biases, acceptance, dreaming bigger amidst dealing with grief, coming of age and overall one of healing.

Seeing the world through Jihad’s eyes was both heartbreakingly real and powerful as I admired her strength. There were so many moments that made me want to hug her for everything she went through at such a young age and often on her own. At the same time, I felt so enraged at the lack of accountability/justice that’s sadly a reality and the way she was treated as if she wasn’t a human being like everyone else. And all because of stereotypes, racism, and anti-Muslim prejudice. If it wasn’t her grief, it was watching her feel like she had to shrink parts of herself to fit in with others who didn’t deserve her that hurt me the most. I thought Zoulfa did an incredible job highlighting the realities many Muslims face, giving insight into experiences I’m fortunate not to endure myself, but can better understand and felt through Jihad’s story.

Jihads grief was heartbreaking yet evocative to watch unfold in seeing her hide her pain as she struggled to feel anything that wasn’t this void. She lost all sense of color in her life—both literally and figuratively—but the journey in seeing the colors come back was a rewarding one. made me love seeing her find refuge in her art with the magical realism aspect here as it made the imagery palpable when she painted the stories her mom told her of her life in Syria. I found it inspiring as the paintings also represented the feelings she couldn’t express and the way it gave her the courage to keep going and not censor herself ❤️‍🩹 it was fascinating that they could come to life in stretching beyond the pages for all to see.

And It's rare to find friends who truly take the time to know you, which is what Jamie did, and the genuine friendship they had warmed my heart in seeing it building. Jamie is proof of the kindness that exists in the world (Audrey is an honorable mention). It was the way he made her feel seen, supported, and valued instead of small that made me appreciate him dearly. I felt his care and respect for her as it emanated throughout the pages. There was a larger than life way about him with the innate curiosity to know more about the world around him that I felt like I learned alongside Jihad everything he had to share. I just loved how he embraced every part of who she was while sharing his own culture that it encouraged her to reconnect with parts of hers. Just know his words held weight for me, especially before their trip to Coney Island since they were tender and meaningful 🥹

The last few pages filled me with a beautiful sense of hope in seeing Jihads heart heal and what welcomed her 🪼🤍 thats what I love about Zoulfas books, as I have the utmost respect for how they are filled with harsh realities but leave you with perspective and hope all the while. While I loved this story, I do wish we could’ve gotten more showing than telling when it came to jihads dad and their healing together, maybe even therapy after everything for some closure, but most of all an extended epilogue of a moment in time with her and Jamie as I’d love (NEED) to know they’re still apart of each others lives?! Otherwise, I look forward to whatever story she chooses to tell next

~~~~~

I think Jamie's colors are an orange sunrise. Something hopeful and wonderful and magical.

This blessing I discovered from our great-aunt is precious; it's sewing up a wound inside me. It's proof for the whole world to see. It's more than stories Mama told us. It's alive.

Mama may be gone, but she will live in this art. She will survive outside the ghostly confines of this apartment. Her story will bring her to life.

"I don't think it's wrong that a day will come when you don't feel this grief. But I don't think you'll ever forget the pain. You'll just have more joy in your life.

It feels easier to speak to Jamie when he gives pieces of himself. It's like we're holding those pieces in our cupped hands, each tentatively showing the other.

He glances back at the mural. "For someone who's never been to Syria, you do draw her with so much love.

"Your murals will shoot you up all the way to the sky. People will say your name in awe and wonder. I'll see you pop up on the news because you invented a new way to draw."

I want you to know she's changed my life, and I'm just the beginning of a long list of people who will absolutely love her. Thank you for her. Thank you for naming her Jihad." He finally looks at me, smiling. "She's all the colors of bravery." THIS WHOLE SPEECH

Why is it when we fight back we're the ones in the wrong? Why can't we be angry? Why can't I hate? Why must I swallow hit after hit and never protest?

"Life was life, Baba," I finally say, the tears escaping. "Mama made the best out of it. She gave us all she could. It wasn't better, and it wasn't worse. It was just life."

[trix · Rating 5 out of 5]

🪼⋆｡𖦹°🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

𐔌 . ⋮ Reading Summary .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
▸⋮ ⌗ read┆jun 8 - jun 9 (2026)
▸⊱ ۫ ׅ rating: 4.45 ✧˖°

This is a spoiler free review

بِسْمِ ٱللهِ

　 ۫ · ⤷ 💙 ゛INTRO: ˎˊ

Zoulfa, you've done it again.

Another book to completely elevate the standards, immaculately display realities, and utterly ruin me in the process.

This one was the sweetest shade of rage; one for the history books and the book clubs. I went through all five stages of grief and then some throughout this read, and I wouldn't give the experience up for the world.

To quote myself from my As Long As The Lemon Trees Grow review, these tears will be my manifesto.


　 ۫ · ⤷ 💙 ゛STORY: ˎˊ

Jihad Dabbagh's world is gray.

The colours went away when her mother did. Literally. Add the financial struggles, all the trauma, and living in a world where her very existence is constantly under scrutiny ? Recipe for depression.

In this poignant coming-of-age story, fused with an ethereal element of magic realism, we follow Jihad as she starts a new, fancy, and rich school (read; white), a final stepping stone in the dream that is studying art at a prestigious Californian university. But being a visibly Muslim girl isn't the easiest thing in today's day and age. Every corner offers contemptuous stares, every step feels heavy, and she always has to have an eye over her shoulder.

Discrimination. Harassment. Racism. Islamophobia. Bullying. Bigotry. This story is vicious. It doesn't hold back. It's a punch in the face and an ice cold bath and walking on glass shards all at once.

Be that as it may, it's also a comforting hug. A quiet moment. Soft-spoken words. A white flag for Muslims to huddle around and simply be, because it shows how beautiful Islam as a way of life is.

This is a story about resilience, quiet strength, and fighting for one's right to exist in this world as someone other, someone true to oneself.

⤷ ゛"But you know people, even good ones, look at us and think we're confined to one space. That we can only exist in one box because they think being Muslim means being limited. It's an unconscious bias. As if being Muslim is some sort of hurdle to overcome or something. Or a crutch. It's condescending." ˎˊ˗

　 ۫ · ⤷ 💙 ゛CHARACTERS: ˎˊ

‧₊˚ Jihad ⁀➴ "And I could see the colours." ‧₊🎨✩ ₊˚

Haunted by the malevolence of those who've degraded her name, Jihad is struggling through her daily life. Anywhere she goes, she encounters hate.

The grief has also become a member of the family; the story starts with her barely able to function through it. She is weak. Lost. Alone. And so very tired.

⤷ ゛Our words, our meanings, my name, my meaning - all crushed under the boot of racism. ˎˊ˗

That being said, Jihad's character development was incredible. I felt like a proud mama bear watching her learn to stand her ground, and every single step she took in defiance of those who sought to push her down had me cheering for her on the sidelines. Or, you know, the pagelines.

Her spirit is unmatched, her fire rekindled. We watch her as she becomes the sort of person who will not give in even when pushed so hard, who will stand her ground even when literally beaten down. Who will not stop fighting for her right to be.

⤷ ゛"She's all the colours of bravery. ˎˊ˗

⋆˚࿔ Jamie⁀➴ "Meeting someone like you is a rare occurrence." .ೃ🍜*･

Ya Rabbi. Such respect, such compassion? Jamie has redefined the meaning of kindness. It genuinely knows no bounds. He is so sweet.

His character blows me away; he's the type of guy who smiles at every stranger in the street, the type of guy who keeps even the smallest, most meaningless promises, who cares and gives you his full attention, who goes the extra mile. It all sounds so simply, but I fear common sense isn't common, and so Jamie was a refreshing mirage in this desert of despair.

But the BEST SCENE IN THIS BOOK, HANDS DOWN, WAS WHEN JAMIE PUT THE WHOLE CLASS IN THEIR PLACE WITH HIS KNOWLEDGE ON ISLAM'S VIEW ON WOMAN'S RIGHTS. ₍₍⚞(˶>ᗜ<˶)⚟⁾⁾

⤷ ゛"We live in a world where all of this information can be so easily found online if you want to know the truth. Ignorance is not an excuse anymore. It's also weird you look at Jihad to give you answers on topics like this. You don't see her asking you to justify what your ancestors did. ˎˊ˗

I was cheering him on so hard, YESSIR TELL EM JAMIE!!

And I'm sorry, but the fact that his school notes are so organised? I love him so much. (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)


　 ۫ · ⤷ 💙 ゛JIHAD & JAMIE: ˎˊ

This golden retriever x black cat friendship was one I did not know I so desperately needed.

This was not marketed as a romance, and I didn't go into it with such an expectation either. That being said, the underlying feelings that developed from the sheer depth of care that these individuals shared for each other is undeniable, and I can see how it can push the boundaries of a halal-relationship a bit. The truth of the matter, however, is that it wasn't like that.

I appreciated how tender and respectful Jamie and Jihad's friendship was. Their affections for one another never felt exploitative or inappropriate, and I found their friendship deeply moving. At the same time, as a Muslim reader, I couldn't help feeling slight tension regarding the amount of time they spent alone together and the emotional closeness they developed, since traditional Islamic boundaries around non-mahram relationships are more cautious. Be that as it may, rather than ruining the story, this tension made the characters feel human and highlighted the difficult balance between loneliness, friendship, and faith; one can understand the circumstances.

I love how he gives her space to grow, while still assuring that he's there if she needs help. I love how she encourages him to embody all parts of himself, unabashedly, and that they can share in their cultures together. Watching their friendship flourish was the most beautiful thing ever I can't stop I'm gonna tear up again. (╥‸╥)


　 ۫ · ⤷ 💙 ゛THOUGHTS: ˎˊ

While Ocean is aimed towards a younger audience than Lemon Trees (which was definitely fitting for anyone with an ounce of compassion in their heart), the main message of this book can still be taken away by readers of all ages. There were lighthearted moments present that made the entire narrative a bit more digestible through the high dose misery.

Because there was misery.

The sheer agony that has been so eloquently depicted on these pages blows me away. We see the raw pain that comes from being distant from a place you love, a people you love, and what this means both for first generation immigrants, as well as the generations that follow and have to grow up in a land that does not know their name.

⤷ ゛I understand why it feels difficult for Baba to talk about it. The homesickness is chronic, and there's no cure. It's an eternal gray. But the result is that I don't know much about where I come from. I'm a mosaic of everyone who came before me, and yet, I don't recognize who these eyes and nose and lips belong to. ˎˊ˗

Zoulfa calls out the underlying racism, the deep-rooted prejudices, all the small (and big) things that build up and create a world where a people cannot even exist without being subjected to constant scrutiny, hate, criticism, and being on the losing end of privileges.

She highlights the battle that Muslims especially, but also immigrants, fight on the daily for our right to be. Exist. Live. A thousand synonyms, the same given right, except why is it not given?

⤷ ゛Mama, their blood has made this land grow peaches and pomagrantes. I'm not sure their blood has passed down to me. I'm scared the distance has made it diluted. ˎˊ˗

The true pain of someone who is far from the soil of their ancestors.

This book shows how we will not be pitied. We will not be defeated. We will not let our heads down. We will not stop fighting, whether our battles be silent endurance or ferocious war-cries.


　 ۫ · ⤷ 💙 ゛QUOTES: ˎˊ

⤷ ゛"All right, we cried, we laughed, divulged some deep trauma, and nearly braided each other's hair. Well, my hair and your hijab. So I think we should get some studying in?"ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛His eyes glimmer, and I'm mesmirised by the contrast of the gray against his eyes. They're so full of life, I think they outshine the sun. ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛For people like Mason, I have to stand out to be embraced. I have to cure cancer, be a heavy-weight champion, establish myself as an essential human being who has contributed greatness to the world in order for my other "less attractive" aspects to be accepted. Or, if I'm being honest, ignored. Then it would be okay that my name is Jihad. Because then I'm not like the others. My people can't exist as they are. We must prove ourselves worthy of life. ˎˊ˗

See this, exactly this, is what I'm talking about. As a Muslim living in a western country, I relate to this sentiment on a defining level.

⤷ ゛"If you're here, and I'm here," Jamie says, "then who's taking notes in class?" ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛"Hi, I mean, salam alaykum," he says eagerly.

I smile. "Hi, I mean, wa alaykum elsalam." ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛ Jamie: wake up it's feeding time

Me: I'm not a sheep

Jamie: you might not be but i am ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛A crystal blue. Like a diamond. A blue so lush, you think the color would stain your hands if you touched it. A blue you know you could breathe under, she said. ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛"When I think of us going separate ways, I feel like my heart might stop." ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛"We have a saying in Vietnamese, 'Xin xhia bu n.' We say it when we want to express our concolences. It means i want to share the sadness with you. I'll carry some of it."

"I-I-you don't know me."

"And? You're human, aren't you, you're hurting, aren't you? That's enough of a reason." ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛"I wouldn't do this for anyone, but I do it for you. You don't get to decide to push me away because you feel like you have no one. I'm here." ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛I think of how different my life would've been if I'd lived in Syria my whole life. If Syria were free. If Syria were mine. My parents would not have moved here. My freedom here is not true freedom. My freedom here is borrowed time; it's me apologizing for existing. I don't have freedom in my countries, and I don't have freedom here. ˎˊ˗

this. every single person who lives away from the country they call home, they feel this.

⤷ ゛This year isn't the final brushstroke on my canvas. My black eye will fade, and the pain will disappear. But I will be here. I have so many years ahead of me. And in each one I will be looking for Mama, looking for myself. ˎˊ˗

　 ۫ · ⤷ 💙 ゛BOTTOM LINE: ˎˊ

This book was beautiful, and I feel honoured to have been able to read it. 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯

If you're thinking of picking this up, please do. (つ╥﹏╥)つ

It illustrates a reality for many, a reality that needs to become properly discerned by everyone.

Also, THE LEMON TREES REFFFFF?!!!! I SEE YOU ZOULFA (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

⤷ ゛Mama, when I go back to her, will I see you there? ˎˊ˗

🪼⋆｡𖦹°🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･


review to come when i stop staring at the wall.


🪼⋆｡𖦹°🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･


OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

do my eyes deceive me? (⊙ _ ⊙ )

IS THIS REAL?! (つ╥﹏╥)つ

FINALLY oh lord i've been waiting forever for zoulfa's next book after her debut became my favourite book of all time. (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

I NEED THIS NOW.

[Yusra ☾ · Rating 5 out of 5]

🗐 ᯓ ✈︎ 100 stars ˙⋆✮

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Mama, I'm here, I think. Can you hear me? Can you feel me?
I miss you so much. I miss you in moments I never thought I'd miss you in.
I knew I'd miss you in the big moments. In the morning when I wake up.
When I draw something particularly amazing. When there's something I want to tell you.

But I miss you when the saltshaker is empty. I miss you when I cook your recipes. I miss you when I see a leaf. I miss you in my bones. I miss you in all the conversations we'll never have. ⊹


Wow. Wow wow wow wow wow. This hit close to home. I think I went through every single emotion that has a name while reading this book. Ever since I read As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow last year, I’ve been waiting extremely impatiently for any new release from Zoulfa. That being said, my expectations were also sky high, but this book 100% delivered.

The way I see it, Lemon Trees set up Ocean and Zoulfa just followed the natural direction of where those emotions were headed. Lemon Trees was filled with hurt and pain throughout the book. We see Kenan and Salama suffer day in and day out in war torn Syria, but they go through all that pain in order for them to see light at the end of the tunnel and feel a sense of hope as we finish. Ocean, on the other hand, takes place after all that pain and opens up doors for the hope to manifest itself into joy. We see Jihad slowly healing with Jamie after all she went through and it just makes me soooo happy 🥹


⋆˚࿔ Writing + Plot Points: 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The reason why I’m sectioning this review is literally to gush over the writing. Of course I knew that Zoulfa was an incredible writer from Lemon Trees but omg this was completely a different level. The passages were so…lyrical? It was as if you could really feel what she’s trying to portray. There was one passage “It's as if someone has raised the contrast because all the colors come back full force for one glorious minute. I see the striations the green makes, the slow heartbeat of the red, the endless horizon of the blue. The yellow in his hair that reminds me of dandelions, and his brown eyes that reflect the sunlight to create an amber shade. And that sunrise-orange color of his.” I want you to know that I have literally never watched anime or anything Studio Ghilbi but I can see SO CLEARLY how it’s her inspo in this!! It’s honestly the beauty of being an artist, and I think that writing is a type of art. It’s how the author weaves bits of herself into a work while sharing a completely different story but still showing us a part of who she is is so beautiful.

Okay I’m a weird person who didn’t read the first few pages of the book (I mean the hadith quoted and the letter to Syria) until I finished book but as I was reading, a hadith kept ringing in my mind and it was the hadith where the Prophet SAW said “Islam started as something strange and will return as something strange, so glad tidings to the strangers” (this hadith is also the quote in my bio lol). And I have always loved this hadith because being a Muslim in America, especially a hijabi, you don’t ever feel a sense of full belonging and this hadith brings so much comfort. Zoulfa showed us in this book that it’s okay to be a stranger and even though it will be hard sometimes (and very hard at that), you can get through it, bi idhnillah.

Something I also wanted to mention, I saw a lot of reviews saying that they thought that the level of Islamaphobia in this book was too much or overly dramatized and that’s actually a crazy statement to say 😭 if this hasn’t personally happened to you, then say alhamdulillah and move on because there are countless events from people that I know personally that are very similar to some of the things that happened to Jihad. Especially during Trump’s presidency, both the first and second one, Islamaphobic hate crimes were spiking through the roof in America and these kinds of things are unfortunately getting more and more common.

In classic Zoulfa style, we got the plot twist we were anticipating. Jihad’s mom did not die from cancer, but was killed as a result of a hate crime. She had recovered from cancer, her hair was growing back, she was doing better than ever and someone felt the need to take her life. She was shot 4 times and died on the scene. If this was something that only happened in fiction, that would be one thing, but the heartbreaking reality is that these things DO happen in real life as well.


⋆˚࿔ Characters: 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

ᯓ★ Jihad:

My baby. I love her so much. She was going through such a difficult time of her life, dare I say THE most difficult time of her life, because the pain she was going through was so unexpected. Her grief was so evident in the way she spoke and how she carried herself, yet despite all she was going through, she was still so strong. She held her ground, even when it pained her to do so. I can’t even imagine what she was going through and I don’t know what I would have done if I was in her place.

ᯓ★ Jamie:

Words can’t begin to describe how much I ADORED him. The golden retriever x black car friendship (or more…) that they had was beautiful and he was exactly what Jihad needed during this time of her life. His love for learning is something that I appreciated about his character sm and not to mention his conversion to Islam??? Even though I was expecting it, it still made me literally jump for joy (as if he’s a real person lol). And the person he becomes, waking up Jihad for suhoor, going to the weekend school to learn how to read the Quran, etc etc just made me so so so so happy. He was such a genuine person who’s effortlessly kind and funny and thoughtful and ARGHHHH I LOVE HIM SM.

ᯓ★ Amal:

At first, I didn’t like her that much because I felt that she kept brushing Jihad off and didn’t take her seriously but as the story went on, it was obvious how much she loved and cared for Jihad and how she was genuinely always ready to help her with whatever she needed, even if Jihad didn’t know she needed it herself. I literally gasped out loud when she told Jihad she was pregnant, I was so happy for her, you would think she was my family member 😭

ᯓ★ Jihad’s Baba:

I understand that it’s hard losing your wife but you still have your daughters and you’re still a father 😭😭 I swear this guy completely forgot that he still has kids. Jihad was so neglected, even Amal was. I guess I don’t understand as well since I’m obviously not in his place but what I DO know is that even when something like that happens, shutting down, especially when you have bigger responsibilities than yourself, is not the way to go.

ᯓ★ Alexis:

Ufffffff. Every book has a fake friend like her bro. The hatred I had for her is literally indescribable. Who in their right mind can ever claim to be friends and then constantly backstab their so called “best friend” over and over and over??? Every time she told her to be nicer or “smile more” I felt like sucker punching her in her ugly little face. And the whole Mason thing was OH MY GOD wallahi I hated her sm, I am so so sooo glad Jihad figured out how fake she was early on.


⋆˚࿔ In conclusion: 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

I loved this book beyond words. I would highly highly highly recommend it to anyone who wants a book with great Islamic representation, beautiful writing, raw emotions, and will make you incredibly angry and leave you content and happy 🫶🏽 (shout out to @vivi who yapped my ear off about this and sped it up my reading calendar after letting me know it's not as sad as lemon trees 🥹)


˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ بَدَأَ الإِسْلاَمُ غَرِيبًا، وَسَيَعُودُ كَمَا بَدَأَ غَرِيبًا، فَطُوبَى لِلْغُرَبَاءِ
"Islam began as something strange and will go back to being strange, so glad tidings to the strangers." ~ Rasool’Allah ﷺ ⊹











PRE RELEASE: everyone. what book did i read june 4th of 2025 FOR THE FIRST TIME??? as long as the lemon trees grow! what is now COMING OUT june 4th 2026? THE OCEAN WOULD PAINT ME BLUE. what else takes place on june 4th?? MY BIRTHDAY. GUYS. THIS BOOK IS COMING OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY AFTER I READ LEMON TREES THIS YEAR ON MY BIRTHDAY.

THIS IS FATE.

[tasneem · Rating 1 out of 5]

wow wow wow i dont think ive read a book so terrible in my life

this book is so unbelievably cringe and so many things didnt sit right with me at ALL. i can tell katouh has never stepped foot in a high school her entire life LMAOOO

Its hard to believe that in the heart of NYC, people are this extremist and racist. Its insane to me that she used the terms “golden retriever”/“black cat personality,” trope, and gaslight in this book. Its INSANE to me that throughout the entire book, jihad had to rely on a man to get her out of trouble. white savior trope at its finest.

this book had absolutely no substance. It follows the same trope as any other book. minority girl lost a parent a year ago and its her WHOLE personality and she cant get over it, she gets bullied at school, popular white guy saves her. I actually cannot.

jamie murphy… Does that sound like a white name to you because it sounds like that to me!!! oh but wait hes actually 1/4 vietnamese so its okay that he started quoting quran verses at bullies to defend jihad 😭😭😭 LMAOO shit was so embarrassing i canf believe katouh got away with this

Idk im syrian i wear hijab and im muslim and i really expected fhis book to speak to me like her previous book, as long as the lemon trees grow, did. but this book is objectively terrible and unrealistic.

jihad has NO IDEA what syria is like she has never stepped FOOT there shes American through and through but somehow all she thinks about is her beautiful homeland and how much happier she’d be there??? like speaking from experience it was so performative please like no one thinks this way im sorry

and then jamie converts to islam😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and it had no subtance 😭😭😭😭 and suddenly at the end of the book hes a marginalized Vietnamese muslim american even though hes NEVER faced discrimination and hes WHITE PASSING LMAOOOOO HE DIDNT EVEN TWLL ANYONE HE CONVERTED😭😭😭 i think the author just wanted to make him a viable love interest for jihad which like.. okay idk why every book needs to have a romance trope in it idk

anyway this book was dumb, boring, unrealistic, and EXTREMELY cringe. I never want to read a book about a non muslim white man quoting quran at bullies ever again 😭😭😭 or converting for no reason 😭😭😭😭 and rhen somehow at the end of the book everyone and their mothers is accepted to some insanely prestigious university 😭😭😭😭 and zoulfa does not know what an AP class is