DNF @ 25%
It truly, truly pains me to give this book a bad review, because I was SO excited for it - in the midst of a glut of Slavic-inspired fantasy that gets misty-eyed about the beauty of Imperial Russia, finally a book from the perspective of the revolutionaries! And on the face of it, there's a lot to recommend this: the premise is fascinating, the character relationships as set up are compelling, and the mythology is fresh and interesting. Unfortunately, all of this is overshadowed by a problem that all the interesting concepts and characters in the world can't overcome: bad prose.
I mean really bad prose. "How did this get past an editor" prose. "Verging on incoherent" prose. Take, for instance, this sentence:
"A haze of smoky prayer herbs hung in the air, sweet and pungent, descending from thousands of braziers with incense in the snow."
What incense? What snow? I genuinely cannot make heads or tails of what's being described here. And that's one of the precious few instances where something IS actually being described, because what May does far more often is tell us what emotion the characters are feeling in bland, blunt language without doing anything to make it feel tangible. Observe:
"Leaning in, he exuded a presence that seemed to swallow the air whole."
How? What does "swallow the air whole" mean to Sera, our POV character? What about his manner gives this impression?
"The suite was a display of wealth and opulence, yet it left her cold. The glittering baubles and gilded decor held no interest. Shelves lined the walls, stacked with books and writing materials that were untouched and forgotten, gathering a fine layer of dust."
How is the room a display of wealth and opulence? What are the glittering baubles? What gilded decor? I can't picture any of this.
And here's how May depicts (or tries to) her characters' feelings:
"Galina's gut twisted as Ekaterina's grim words hung in the air. She couldn't help but feel responsible for the other woman's burden, and the debt Galina owed her could never be repaid."
Why can't she help but feel responsible? Why does she think the debt can't be repaid?
"But Galina's steps faltered, fear rising like bile in her throat. A chasm of terror opened beneath her feet, threatening to swallow her whole."
What does this chasm of terror feel like? What about the fear? What physical sensations accompany it? Is she nauseous, light-headed, feeling cold? How can the reader immerse themselves in the story when the prose skims over every emotional beat that might engage them?
A lot of this comes down to what I call "YA house style," which makes a certain amount of sense: May's background is in YA, after all. And despite the fact that this is advertised as an adult book, the only real "adult" thing about it is that one of our leads swears a lot and talks about fucking. It's a child's idea of what adulthood is like. There's nothing sophisticated about the prose (the vocabulary level is also pretty low - on a purely textual level, a clever twelve-year-old could probably read it with no comprehension issues) and while the ideas presented are thorny - the struggle between revolutionaries who want to blow up the world with no care for what comes after and those who want to hold back out of concern for what will happen to those caught in the crossfire - the prose resists actual engagement at every turn. I spent every page of this book that I read trying desperately to find SOMETHING I could connect to, and I kept coming up empty-handed. I have no idea what May's writing is like outside of this book - I never read her other titles - and so I don't know if a firm editorial hand and/or a second draft would have produced a better result. But I do know that the ideas being put forth here are utterly failed by their delivery, and it's a real shame.