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Why Am I Like This?

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Farah Garda believes that she’s incapable of change, stuck in a pattern of self-loathing and destructive tendencies. She leaves Cape Town to care for her ailing mother and stumbles into grief, growth, and green smoothies. Love doesn’t save her—she saves herself.

Told with humour and unflinching honesty, Why Am I Like This? follows Farah on her journey to finding purpose in life, perhaps for the very first time. 

192 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 17, 2025

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Qaanitah Hunter

4 books16 followers

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5 stars
10 (18%)
4 stars
20 (36%)
3 stars
20 (36%)
2 stars
4 (7%)
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1 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
Profile Image for adeela_books ❁ཻུ۪۪.
247 reviews59 followers
December 15, 2025
3 stars

Listen okay, when I first started this book I thought it was easy to get into and pretty bingeable. Farah reads like one of those messy quirky fmcs in Sophie Kinsella's novels (rip queen) but while Kinsella's characters change for the better and everything gets tied up in a neat little bow by the climax, Hunter leaves a lot to be resolved...

This was initially messy in an enjoyable way but it turned messy in a "wtf is happening" way towards the last few chapters. This was looking to be a 4 star read due to the easy prose, the realness of having an fmc who didn't have her shit together & the relatable moments of depression/life being hard but dammit these last couple chapters really took a nosebleed dive into the "THIS MAKES ZERO SENSE" territory.

So I was like, okay we're looking at 3.5 stars now instead... but man was I wrong. That ending was even worse and I had to drop points immediately... the climax made me wanna hurl this book on the floor coz I was left here so confused and annoyed coz wdym? (Ofc I didn't throw the book coz I'd never hurt a book but gosh I really wanted to just yeet it)

I hate when things don't make sense and this book with that ending is one of them.

SPOILERS BELOW:
This woman never had a proper job btw so please tell me how did she manage to fund her life that too in bougie Cape Town initially + then fund her Jozi life & all her medical expenditures, delivery food service daily, then special dietary stuff + to top it off all the new experiences she had like hot yoga etc. Where in gods name did the floodgates of money come for any of this? Whatever she did to help her health and healing journey certainly wasn't cheap. Heck the medical bills alone would take someone out financially even if that person works. So I don't get how she managed to tune up her whole physical & mental health + appearance when she has no income and then all of a sudden we're told she gets rent from her roommate which basically means she owns that house but it was never actually mentioned at first. Also the funds her dead mum left were untouched at this time. Even when she lent her toxic ex friend 50k it was from her own money as she said, from rent & savings when she was in jozi. WHAT SAVINGS? Then she paid 10k for a hippie retreat which she escaped from coz it was sus. Like again where is she getting this money from? C'mon. Even with getting an income from rent it's not even cutting close to covering these costs + her general living expenses!

Then to top it off at the end the man who strung her along, was hot & cold, and indecisive suddenly tells her he's gonna marry her and she just accepts it like wdym? What happened to all of that growth you had?... I'm... sigh.

So disappointed coz the turn this book took just ruined it so bad. Such a shame.

3 stars though coz I liked the various representations, the way the angsty moments and harsh past of apartheid was written, the diversity, the raw & realness of how depression,anxiety,doubt,insecurity & feeling hopelessness was depicted. Plus the way the author played with our feelings regarding Zaid. I liked that this book sheds light that you aren't alone, lots of people have no direction in their life and depression from it but it doesn't make you worthless. That message was good which is why I'm so mad and sad about this book falling so flat like that towards the end... ugh ruined potential.

• Thanks JBP for the readalong box •
Profile Image for Faseeha Esmailjee.
32 reviews1 follower
December 8, 2025
A cute book, it had the potential but lacked the depth. As a South African author , I adored Qaanitah from her era of Guji girl but this book just felt rushed. The ideas were there and they could’ve been illustrated further. Nonetheless it was a cute, light read, finished in a day
Profile Image for Lieke Polak.
324 reviews59 followers
December 27, 2025
Go Qaanitah go ✨✨✨
Love it om Zuid-Afrikaanse fictie te lezen terwijl we in Zuid-Afrika zijn! Light read, soms beetje te onwaarschijnlijk (zou Farah echt R50.000 overmaken naar Daniël in de breedte van één hoofdstuk?), erg vermakelijk
Profile Image for aqeelah ❀༉˖.
341 reviews38 followers
December 16, 2025
3.5 ⭐

This was my first Qaanitah Hunter book and definitely not the last! I love reading books by local authors, especially when they feature highly relatable characters that have me going "omg she's just like me".

Farah Nosipho Garda is one such character. I found her witty commentary and propensity for self-sabotage relatable in a darkly humorous self-deprecating manner that had me feeling so seen and so amused. She's the embodiment of the millennial existential crisis. However, what started as "haha relatable" turned to "ouch relatable" very quickly in a way I did not expect. Farah's signature derision continues throughout the book, but it was also met with deep insecurities and crippling grief that largely influences her behaviour in the events that follow.

Farah's life is upturned when her mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She leaves her Cape Town apartment for a retirement village in Joburg, where she where she takes on the role of primary caregiver to her ailing mother. Her mother's rapidly decreasing state, paired with Farah's own internal turmoil and external dysfunction, leaves her suffering in ways I couldn't help relating to. Enter problematic guys, chronic illness and unexpected death, and Farah's already messy life reaches breaking point. It is at this point that Farah is forced to confront her deep-rooted beliefs and self-destructive behaviours. Her journey of healing is one of many highs and many lows, realistic in its portrayal of health and self-discovery. The ending left much to be desired, but I loved the overall core messages this book conveys:
1. Recovery is not linear.
2. Self-love is a daily decision, not a destination.

Raw, unflinching, thought-provoking and tender-hearted. This is a book I won't soon forget.
Profile Image for Karen Watkins.
116 reviews3 followers
January 28, 2026
There’s a question many of us whisper to ourselves at 2am, usually while staring at the ceiling or doom-scrolling: Why am I like this?
By the time I got around to reading this debut novel it was in its second print run. Don’t let the cover put you off. Expecting chick lit it was a surprise to find a funny, tender and deeply relatable story.
Hunter’s protagonist, Farah Garda, feels instantly real. She’s messy, self-sabotaging, insecure and endlessly searching. She’s a perpetual student with no clear plan, big feelings and a habit of overthinking everything. In other words: very human. Farah’s journey is fast-paced and often laugh-out-loud funny but it’s also layered with themes of grief, body image, mental health, self-worth and the exhausting pressure to have life “figured out”. These linger long after the final page. It’s raw, quietly devastating, and beautifully written.
One moment that’s impossible to forget is Farah’s experience of losing her mother. Hunter captures the disorientating fog of grief with the sense of the ground falling away, the strange unreality of a funeral and the sudden, aching need for other people.
Set firmly in our times, the era of therapy, Ozempic (a prescription injection to manage type 2 diabetes which often leads to weight loss), situationships and hustle culture. The novel also carries an unmistakably South African flavour, peppered with familiar voices, humour and cultural references. The characters in Farah’s world are especially well drawn, made up of recognisable combinations of people we all know.
Told with wit, warmth and unflinching honesty, this story is comforting without being preachy. If you’re at a crossroads in life, or even if you’re not, this book will make you feel seen. Just read it.
Thanks to Kwela for the review copy.
Profile Image for Letticia Collet.
41 reviews4 followers
March 14, 2026
Farah is a twenty seven year old. She's jobless and have no plans for herself in sight. She is moved out of what she deemed comfort, to go and take care of her mother. She could hear in a few phone calls that something is off with her mother and left Cape Town for JHB to go check on her mother. 2 week turned into months.

Her mom started to slowly fade away. The one person Farah was very close to and shared everything with and it caused much anguish.

She met Zaid who is doing everything right, until red flags made their appearance, causing her a whole lot of feeling of disquiet.

Farah's life is messy; she struggles with mental health, her weight, past trauma, inadequacies.
... until grief struck and the a whole shift. Not sudden, but gradual daily decisions she had to make.

Farah is the lead character in this story but I felt like Zulaika aka' Comrade Zee' Garda (Farah's mother) took center stage. I almost feel like author could actually write a whole book on the life of Comrade Zee in her younger days.

This novel is lightly humoured, but also portray deep issues people are facing and struggling with, making it so much more real and relatable.
1 review
December 29, 2025
Just finished reading this book. Someone gave it to me since they wanted to get rid of it, and I thought it might give me some insight into growing up in South Africa, as the title said, "Why Am I Like This". However, I never got the answer. It was mostly about the protagonist's present, with little insight into her childhood or adulthood. That said, that part was actually nice to read. The most touching part was her struggles with taking care of her old mother, which makes one worry about their own parents. However, the good things end there.
Spoiler alert: I never understood why the second guy was interested in the protagonist. He randomly strikes up a conversation with her and then forces himself into her life. Just seemed very convenient to me for the sake of building a story. Finally, after stringing her along for such a long time, when we feel that she is finally learning to put herself first, he wants to marry her, and she is ok with that.
Profile Image for Aamina Mall.
4 reviews
January 10, 2026
Firstly, I read this book in a few days. It was a page turner, quite funny, and messy.
It's refreshing to read African Muslim representation, to read about apartheid not in history books but in fiction where I feel many are more likely to actually resonate with the stories of previous generations than via textbooks and politics.

It also brings awareness to mental health struggles, obesity and dementia. I love this particularly because there's still a lot of stigma in our communities about some of these topics and I hope it dispels some of that. But also as much as I can empathize with her, I want to shake Farah sometimes. Tell her to love herself more.
To walk away. To make better choices. And she DOES, slowly. However, the ending felt rushed and quite honestly very questionable. Perhaps it lays the
foundation for a sequel.

3.5/5
Profile Image for Fur Ava Me.
34 reviews
January 1, 2026
Read in one sitting and easy prose . An interesting storyline . Oh Farah! She's really going through alot in her life and feels stuck.
But she has abundant funds( not sure how) which always helps solve most problems right..
I do love the progress she makes and the internal work she does.. i found that most inspiring! Go girl 💪🏻 .

Zaid however.. 🚩🚩🚩💀

I wouldve loved an epilogue to see what happens though 😏
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Janine Roussouw.
149 reviews4 followers
March 2, 2026
I love supporting local South African authors and I loved, loved this book! Farah goes through a journey of transformation and discovery after her mom dies. She has a situationship with Zaid but she realizes the hard way that she has to be good to herself first before she can have a relationship with Zaid. Her support system comes from unexpected people and places. Farah learns that she is worthy, brave and strong and that she can have the life that she has always dreamed of.
Profile Image for Waheeda Joosab.
Author 1 book6 followers
January 10, 2026
if you're looking for a cliché happy ending, this isn't for you. This book is too 'real' for that.

This isn’t a neatly wrapped, feel-good, happy fiction. It's an honest look at a young (Gen Z) woman still figuring herself out in a big bad world... while we're rooting for her.

Two words come to mind: raw and real. The open-ended ending reflects real life (messy and ongoing) and by the final pages, I found myself wondering whether I’d just read fiction or self-help... so it’s the kind of book that sits with you.

Full review: https://www.whatwaydsays.co.za/book-r...
Profile Image for Maryam.
129 reviews
November 11, 2025
Insanely relatable and so funny 🤣💝⛈️ loved EVERY bit. Qaanitah Hunter is such an inspiration 🌻
16 reviews
December 14, 2025
Quick, easy read. Can’t say that I particularly liked the main character or her choices. I get the point thought, it was about self growth.
Profile Image for JennyMoo.
5 reviews1 follower
March 28, 2026
I enjoyed this book as I found Farah relatable. The story was quirky and fun although the ending was a bit of a surprise (not predictable, just surprising). I was disappointed when I finished the book because I hoped to have more time with Farah.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews