Dirty, Flirty, and Vindictive

Bloody, Slutty, and Pathetic #2

by WhatMurdah

Harry Potter was the Chosen One, and Neville Longbottom was the boy no one chose. Then Neville defied Voldemort, killed Nagini, and took down Greyback. Neville came out of the war different: You won’t get a rise out of him but you will get a reaction.

After a tumultuous trauma bond with Luna Lovegood and a failed engagement to Hannah Abbott, Neville has sworn off relationships—only to be paired with Pansy Parkinson under the Reconciliation Act. Neville’s running a nursery, guest lecturing in the Hogwarts Herbology Department, and hunting down Death Eaters with Seamus Finnigan, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, and the mercenaries Bill Weasley befriended while raiding tombs for Gringotts. He doesn’t need a Slytherin wife whose best mates are Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Or does he? When he and Pansy prove extremely sexually compatible, Neville must confront his own questions about love, trust, and vulnerability—just as the revival of blood supremacy and a renewed veneration of Bellatrix have strange new bedfellows seeking him out.

Featuring sex, violence, and poisonous plants, DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE takes place during BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC with flashbacks to Neville’s life between 1998 and 2003.

Genres: Fan Fiction, Fantasy

912 pages, ebook

Published April 27, 2025

Reviews

[Manon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Neville as a hot herbologist/ mercenary/ professor/ assassin/cosmetics entrepreneur/ dad???? The title of this tells you everything you need to know🔥 The way this writer just subtly criticises and explores the canon is so well done 👏🏻 But I have to say my absolutely favourite scenes were those involving Pansy and Alice, just wow 😭❤️

[Bianca Vecchio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ob 👏🏼fucking👏🏼sessed!!!!!!!

[Luisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just love getting to live in my little BSP universe a bit longer. This time we get it from Neville’s perspective, and honestly? One of the only things I didn’t understand in BSP was Neville. NOW I get it. I get why he’s cynical and cold. When you add up his whole past: his grandmother, his dad and mom, Bellatrix, the DA, Nagini, retrieving the fallen from the war, and then Luna and Hannah? Yeah… that’s the recipe for a mob boss. It makes sense now.

Did I understand the entire plot with the number of characters involved? Hell no. But I loved every second of it anyway.

Since this is in the same timeline as BSP, I already added the big plot summary in my other review. Here, we get more of Parkbottom, how they started, why they actually make sense together, and all the intricacies of a rebel movement. It was genuinely amazing.

4/5

[Milo (if lost, return to hot fictional character)]

as someone who was obsessed with Bloody slutty and pathatic i caNT WAIT for the neville and pansy sequel~!!!!

[Kimberly KC · Rating 5 out of 5]

[insert "we are not worthy" gif here]

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fucking fantastic. Neville is unbelievably hot in this FF. I love the dynamic between him and Pansy. Was screaming, crying, throwing up every time a new chapter was posted.

[liya · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️| DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE by whatmurdah | what do these panville writers put in their work that makes me devour it like crack?? at this point reading about neville isnt enough i need to fuck him and pansy. Although what was dissappointing is how little panville there actually was and the word count was mostly made up of unnecessary trigger warnings when it could have been used for more panville.

“𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘥. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥.
𝘔𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯.

𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴.”

“𝘕𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺. 𝘕𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘗𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘗𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵. 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘰𝘯? 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘰𝘯. 𝘈 𝘭𝘰𝘵.”

“𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦. 𝘏𝘦’𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. 𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘗𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘺—𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵—𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳.”

big dick energy right here.

[kady · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
awesome

[Jessica Freitas · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️ T.U.D.OOO

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shows a different perspective of dealing with the war and marriage law.

[Hope Vollm]

I can’t even explain how OBSESSED I am with this pansy and Neville.

[Kelly Pulis · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

GOD TIER ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

The way this book covers healing is insanely beautiful. This is on the same shelf as Manacled, but with Neville and Pansy.

I’m gobsmacked.

[*océane* · Rating 5 out of 5]

A spicy, humorous and tragic exploration of Neville Longbottom, his marriage to Pansy, revenge and healing from the war, in the world of Bloody, Slutty, and Pathetic. I'll read anyting the author writes.