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110 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2015
Who made the Civil Service? God. What does the Civil Service make? Civil Servants. What are you? A Civil Servant. Why were you created? To be in this office. What is the purpose of this office? To serve paper. What is the purpose of paper, and memoranda? To serve the Civil Service. What is the purpose of the Civil Service? To serve the State. What is the purpose of the State? To serve the Civil Service ...
Such a nursery of statesmen had the Department become in virtue of a long career of this nature, that several solemn lords had attained the reputation of being quite unearthly prodigies of business, solely from having practised, How not to do it, as the head of the Circumlocution Office. As to the minor priests and acolytes of that temple, the result of all this was that they stood divided into two classes, and, down to the junior messenger, either believed in the Circumlocution Office as a heaven-born institution that had an absolute right to do whatever it liked; or took refuge in total infidelity, and considered it a flagrant nuisance. (Longer extract here.)
He was laying in to the door when the Guards stopped him, on the instructions of the civil servants who had taken advice on the matter: ‘A private locksmith cannot interfere with a door such as this unless requested to do so by the Board of Public Works. Do you have written authorisation from the Board of Public Works? No. Where is A.? If you give the equipment to A., he can do it ... A. is not available?’You get the idea. Not an ounce of common sense amongst the lot of them.