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Dad, Love, Me: A Memoir
THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW EDITORS' CHOICE • Written in the form of a letter to his ailing father, this debut memoir from the bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook explores the complicated burden of caring for an abusive parent who is dying—here is Matthew Quick’s most personal and potent work to date.
“This book will gut you and then, somehow, put you back together.” —Scott Galloway • “Dad, Love, Me is a masterpiece….It will change people’s lives.” —Lori Gottlieb • “A gut punch of a memoir…What a gift this book is.” —Catherine Newman • “For all its heavy subject matter, the book has a remarkably light touch and sense of grace.” —Kirkus Reviews
“What begins as an excavation of childhood trauma gradually becomes something rarer and more an account of what happens when forgiveness arrives only after the parent who most needs it begins losing the ability to understand it....It’s difficult to read this book without feeling that some redemption and reconciliation—between parents and children, between scarred memory and forgiveness—have become possible.” —The New York Times
On the surface, Matthew Quick seemed to have it all—a loving wife, a thriving career as a novelist, and a beautiful home. He’d traveled all over the world advocating for mental health awareness, standing before crowds as a success story. But secretly, he was depressed and some days, he didn’t want to live.
Years earlier, when he first told his father he wanted to be a novelist, the response was immediate and “Idiot!” That voice—angry and belittling—would echo through Quick’s mind for years. He channeled his pain into his debut novel, The Silver Linings Playbook, crafting a complex father-son dynamic drawn straight from his own life. The book became a New York Times bestseller and was adapted into an Academy Award–winning film starring Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. Still, the approval Quick longed for never came. His father remained cold and withholding. The deeper the rift between them grew, the deeper Quick sank into anxiety and addiction.
In this book, Quick takes readers deep into his psyche, as he wrestles with both his own mental health and his father’s cognitive decline. A health scare finally forces Quick to get sober, but then, overcome by creative paralysis, writer’s block threatens to end his career. The blank page is unbearable. As his desperation for healing peaks, Quick turns to a Jungian analyst he nicknames “Zeus.” In the safety of analysis, as Quick’s repressed pain and shame surface, he finally cracks. Just as he is putting himself back together, his father is diagnosed with dementia.
Suddenly, the clock is ticking. If there is ever going to be reconciliation, it has to happen now. Quick and his wife pack up their lives in coastal North Carolina, drive eight hours, and move into a house just around the corner from Quick’s parents, on an island right outside of Beaufort, South Carolina. There, as his father slips further and further away, Quick races to make a healing connection.
Dad, Love, Me is Quick’s raw, vulnerable, and deeply moving account of what it means to forgive a parent who never really knew how to love you. It’s about wounds that never fully heal, and the power of showing up anyway. This beautifully brave and life-affirming memoir is a must read for anyone who has been starved of love but wants to keep loving anyway.
“This book will gut you and then, somehow, put you back together.” —Scott Galloway • “Dad, Love, Me is a masterpiece….It will change people’s lives.” —Lori Gottlieb • “A gut punch of a memoir…What a gift this book is.” —Catherine Newman • “For all its heavy subject matter, the book has a remarkably light touch and sense of grace.” —Kirkus Reviews
“What begins as an excavation of childhood trauma gradually becomes something rarer and more an account of what happens when forgiveness arrives only after the parent who most needs it begins losing the ability to understand it....It’s difficult to read this book without feeling that some redemption and reconciliation—between parents and children, between scarred memory and forgiveness—have become possible.” —The New York Times
On the surface, Matthew Quick seemed to have it all—a loving wife, a thriving career as a novelist, and a beautiful home. He’d traveled all over the world advocating for mental health awareness, standing before crowds as a success story. But secretly, he was depressed and some days, he didn’t want to live.
Years earlier, when he first told his father he wanted to be a novelist, the response was immediate and “Idiot!” That voice—angry and belittling—would echo through Quick’s mind for years. He channeled his pain into his debut novel, The Silver Linings Playbook, crafting a complex father-son dynamic drawn straight from his own life. The book became a New York Times bestseller and was adapted into an Academy Award–winning film starring Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. Still, the approval Quick longed for never came. His father remained cold and withholding. The deeper the rift between them grew, the deeper Quick sank into anxiety and addiction.
In this book, Quick takes readers deep into his psyche, as he wrestles with both his own mental health and his father’s cognitive decline. A health scare finally forces Quick to get sober, but then, overcome by creative paralysis, writer’s block threatens to end his career. The blank page is unbearable. As his desperation for healing peaks, Quick turns to a Jungian analyst he nicknames “Zeus.” In the safety of analysis, as Quick’s repressed pain and shame surface, he finally cracks. Just as he is putting himself back together, his father is diagnosed with dementia.
Suddenly, the clock is ticking. If there is ever going to be reconciliation, it has to happen now. Quick and his wife pack up their lives in coastal North Carolina, drive eight hours, and move into a house just around the corner from Quick’s parents, on an island right outside of Beaufort, South Carolina. There, as his father slips further and further away, Quick races to make a healing connection.
Dad, Love, Me is Quick’s raw, vulnerable, and deeply moving account of what it means to forgive a parent who never really knew how to love you. It’s about wounds that never fully heal, and the power of showing up anyway. This beautifully brave and life-affirming memoir is a must read for anyone who has been starved of love but wants to keep loving anyway.
320 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 21, 2026
About the author
Matthew Quick
10 books5,228 followersMatthew Quick is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into an Oscar-winning film; eight other novels, including We Are the Light, a #1 Indie Next Pick and a main selection of the Book of the Month Club; and the memoir, Dad, Love, Me, which The New York Times lauded and named an Editors’ Choice. His work has been translated into more than thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was a Los Angeles Times Book Prize finalist, a #1 bestseller in Brazil, a Deutscher Jugendliteratur Preis 2016 (German Youth Literature Prize) nominee, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. The Hollywood Reporter has named him one of Hollywood’s 25 Most Powerful Authors. Matthew lives with his wife, the novelist Alicia Bessette, in Beaufort, South Carolina.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews
April 18, 2026
This book was felt….and really felt! Memoirs are raw and scary and you expose a lot, Matthew certainly did ….i personally felt very connected to this father/son relationship, and presently going through days of my mother with dementia… this hit home! Don’t hold resentment….FORGIVE…and LOVE.
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March 29, 2026Whether you want to or not, you will feel compelled to call your least favorite parent after reading this - hopefully with an open(ish?) heart.
August 19, 2026
This book is very sad and I can't imagine the pain Matthew was in. It's very relatable for some teenagers who are experiencing abuse. Just know, use your voice. You are brave and strong. ❤️✨️
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September 7, 2026I'll write a longer review on this later, but I just want everyone to know that it was SO good.
July 22, 2026
i loved that i was able to treat this book like a collection of short stories: something i could pick up and put down as i pleased. and trust me, i needed breaks in between but i ALWAYS wanted to return to quick’s psyche
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September 8, 2026Unsure how to rate this one as some parts made me feel quite emotional reading Matthew's experience trying to reconcile his relationship with his dad as he starts losing him to dementia. Was also quite hard reading what Matthew went through: feeling neglected and unloved by his father who he wanted to be seen by so badly. Some parts with the Jungian analyst Zeus made feel quite weirded out by the sort of advice he was given. Still, an interesting memoir to read and ponder about.
August 13, 2026
This is a deeply vulnerable exploration of family, trauma, and the complex search for paternal connection. The author writes with an engaging, raw intimacy that draws the reader directly into his internal world. His willingness to lay bare his emotional landscape gives the memoir an unusual, heartfelt resonance.
That said , it left me unsettled into specific ways — one literary, and one professional.
I can’t help but wonder: Would—or could—this book have existed without the tragedy of his father’s decline?
The father’s dementia fundamentally altered the man's personality, dismantling decades of established patterns. That tragic shift created the space for a different kind of relationship to emerge — so was the authors healing about true emotional evolution? Or was it more about the inevitable erasure brought on by cognitive loss?
Second, as a mental health practitioner with over 30 years of clinical experience, I found the portrayal of the therapeutic process—and specifically the behavior of Quick’s Jungian analyst, referred to as "Zeus"—both deeply frustrating and saddening.
While memoirs inevitably capture a personal, subjective experience of therapy, the portrayal of Zeus presents a stark example of therapeutic dysfunction:
Zeus consistently fails to foster emotional safety or appropriate containment. Rather than offering a secure frame for deep trauma work, the dynamic often feels precarious and ungrounded. Also, the therapist frequently confronts and "tests" the author in ways that feel less than therapeutic—at times bordering on sadistic. The subtle abuse of the power imbalance leaves his client often vulnerable and confused instead of empowered.
In one particularly painful instance involving a scheduling mistake on the therapist's part, Zeus laughs at his clients distress. Rather than validating the client’s feelings or attempting a therapeutic repair, Zeus dismisses the rupture with a self-serving justification: acknowledging his own fallibility while essentially asking, "I'm here now, so what's the problem?"
In clinical practice, a rupture like that is a vital, fertile opportunity for healing—a chance to model accountability, validation, and relational safety. To see it dismissed with defense mechanisms and laughter is a disappointing reflection on the profession, and it is heartbreaking to consider how this portrayal shapes the public’s understanding of what therapy should be.
That said , it left me unsettled into specific ways — one literary, and one professional.
I can’t help but wonder: Would—or could—this book have existed without the tragedy of his father’s decline?
The father’s dementia fundamentally altered the man's personality, dismantling decades of established patterns. That tragic shift created the space for a different kind of relationship to emerge — so was the authors healing about true emotional evolution? Or was it more about the inevitable erasure brought on by cognitive loss?
Second, as a mental health practitioner with over 30 years of clinical experience, I found the portrayal of the therapeutic process—and specifically the behavior of Quick’s Jungian analyst, referred to as "Zeus"—both deeply frustrating and saddening.
While memoirs inevitably capture a personal, subjective experience of therapy, the portrayal of Zeus presents a stark example of therapeutic dysfunction:
Zeus consistently fails to foster emotional safety or appropriate containment. Rather than offering a secure frame for deep trauma work, the dynamic often feels precarious and ungrounded. Also, the therapist frequently confronts and "tests" the author in ways that feel less than therapeutic—at times bordering on sadistic. The subtle abuse of the power imbalance leaves his client often vulnerable and confused instead of empowered.
In one particularly painful instance involving a scheduling mistake on the therapist's part, Zeus laughs at his clients distress. Rather than validating the client’s feelings or attempting a therapeutic repair, Zeus dismisses the rupture with a self-serving justification: acknowledging his own fallibility while essentially asking, "I'm here now, so what's the problem?"
In clinical practice, a rupture like that is a vital, fertile opportunity for healing—a chance to model accountability, validation, and relational safety. To see it dismissed with defense mechanisms and laughter is a disappointing reflection on the profession, and it is heartbreaking to consider how this portrayal shapes the public’s understanding of what therapy should be.
August 23, 2026
I've read a few of Matthew Quick's fiction novels, and knew immediately that I wanted to check this one out when I read the premise. As an adult with strained relationships with both of my parents (one who has now passed on), and a mom of a three year old, this reminded me of the importance of taking the cumbersome time to heal myself. To do the work which I know will be painful. If not for myself, for my daughter. This was a hard read, and some felt like a slog, but I'm glad that I read it.
August 29, 2026
The title alone drew me to this book. I had not read this author before. I thought it was a beautiful journey of healing from trauma and childhood wounds through doing the work and the unique experience of his father showing up differently because of alzheimer's disease.
September 16, 2026
Timely, needed, and the level of vulnerability we desperately need to embody in meeting this moment globally.
This is one of the those books that will expand your own mind ten fold if you allow it especially when relating so deeply to the pain points and paths taken. What see I see in you, Matthew Quick, I see in me. What I have heard you heal in self through these pages is what I have healed in me. For those of us that love to take the long road to healing such devastating and disabling trauma and living in the safety and evolution of whole health and education while transcending the pain of our ancestors known and unknown, this book is for you.
What a gift to humanity. As with his previous stories, Quick’s actual memoir will save a countless amount of lives in sharing such a journey of profound healing for self and in community.
May we all gain capacity to see our self in this way. May we all gain capacity to see our family in this way. May we all gain capacity to see our community in this way. This can be filed under books that create a before and after life for readers. There will be a before and after life for me having read this and spent this time with Matthew in such profound chapters of healing and growth.
This is one of the those books that will expand your own mind ten fold if you allow it especially when relating so deeply to the pain points and paths taken. What see I see in you, Matthew Quick, I see in me. What I have heard you heal in self through these pages is what I have healed in me. For those of us that love to take the long road to healing such devastating and disabling trauma and living in the safety and evolution of whole health and education while transcending the pain of our ancestors known and unknown, this book is for you.
What a gift to humanity. As with his previous stories, Quick’s actual memoir will save a countless amount of lives in sharing such a journey of profound healing for self and in community.
May we all gain capacity to see our self in this way. May we all gain capacity to see our family in this way. May we all gain capacity to see our community in this way. This can be filed under books that create a before and after life for readers. There will be a before and after life for me having read this and spent this time with Matthew in such profound chapters of healing and growth.
August 28, 2026
A very candid memoir about the author’s relationship with his father. I definitely recommend this if you love memoirs like I do!
August 14, 2026
It's so rare to find a white cis man be this vulnerable. This book took tremendous courage. However, I found about 50% of these chapters very profound and the other 50% truly unreadable. The chapters about his "analysis" (honestly, what does that even mean?) and his work with Zeus was ridiculous. And I kept waiting for Matthew to have a realization that this was not a qualified mental health professional, seek a real therapist and finally get the help he deserves ...and it just never came??? I began skipping over all of those chapters that involved Zeus. Other than those chapters, this book was excellent.
October 3, 2026
Just finished reading this powerful memoir and my heart has all the feels. I rewatched Silver Linings Playbook movie this week. I am listening to it on Libby. One of my favorite YA books is his novel Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock, because it perfectly reinforces how much a simple greeting or a kind word can impact someone's life.
Matthew, this book is a true difference-maker and an absolute gift to so many of us. Thank you for your vulnerability! I am now making it my mission to read the books of yours I have missed. 🤩
Matthew, this book is a true difference-maker and an absolute gift to so many of us. Thank you for your vulnerability! I am now making it my mission to read the books of yours I have missed. 🤩
September 27, 2026
Wow. Wow. WOW! I'm so grateful Matthew Quick did the hard work of writing this memoir. I think it will matter deeply to so many people. It's a balm for the hurting and hurt people in the world. It's a little miracle of a book.
August 17, 2026
I can appreciate what Dad, Love Me was trying to do and why the story felt important, but overall it just didn’t really land for me. The writing was good and there were some genuinely moving moments, but it felt slow and I never became as emotionally invested as I expected to. And the whole Zeus/analyst element was personally not relatable to me, even as a strong believer in therapy.
Important story, solid writing, but ultimately a pretty “blah” reading experience for me. Glad I finished it, but I don’t think it’ll stick with me.
Important story, solid writing, but ultimately a pretty “blah” reading experience for me. Glad I finished it, but I don’t think it’ll stick with me.
August 3, 2026
According to writer Czeslaw Milosz, “When a writer is born into a family, the family is finished.” Novelist and screenwriter Matthew Quick’s memoir, DAD, LOVE, ME --- the story of his decades-long fraught relationship with his father, Michael --- provides an extended case study of that maxim’s insight and its limitations. It illuminates both the depths of one man’s lifelong pain and the redemptive power of the written word.
Though he’s published nine novels, Quick is best known for his first, THE SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK, which was transformed into a 2012 movie starring Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence that garnered eight Academy Award nominations. Sadly, that massive hit didn’t translate into a string of literary and film successes for Quick. On the contrary, it wasn’t too many years later that he spiraled into a sustained period of alcoholism, occasional panic attacks and writer’s block.
As Quick reveals in this memoir, written in the form of an extended letter to his father, the roots of his afflictions lay in his toxic relationship with a man who rose from modest circumstances to a career in the banking business, and ended it as a high-level executive of a publicly traded bank. Michael Quick’s abuse only rarely took physical form. Instead, he engaged in a relentless verbal assault against the eldest of his three children, constantly demeaning him for everything from his career choice, to his weight, to his lack of appreciation for what Michael constantly insisted were his tireless efforts to support the family. What made this behavior especially intolerable was its unpredictability, for as Quick puts it, he “never knew when the gun was going to go off.”
Quick methodically recounts several of their most intense confrontations --- including one encounter at the dinner table that grew violent and a tirade when Michael drove his son back to college on the weekend of his 19th birthday, after Quick's girlfriend ended their relationship. These vivid scenes make for painful reading, as one viscerally experiences the harm being inflicted by a heedless, self-absorbed father on a son who lacked the psychological tools to understand fully or defend himself against what was happening. Michael's “constant inability to be what I needed,” Quick writes, “made me hate you.”
Quick credits a therapist he nicknames Zeus (an allusion to the myth of the rebirth of Dionysus) for guiding him through more than 700 hours of Jungian analysis that offered him “a proper psychological relationship” with his past and enabled him to gain some insight into the reasons for his father’s emotional cruelty. In part, they lay in Michael's own upbringing by Quick’s grandfather --- a World War II combat veteran who, paradoxically, often was (with one striking exception) a source of comfort and support to his grandson --- and the actions of an older brother who was a less than ideal masculine role model. Quick takes the reader deep into these therapeutic encounters, all of which were on Zoom, offering a glimpse of the variety of techniques --- including active imagination and Quick's own writing --- that Zeus employs to burrow into the heart of his patient’s troubled psyche.
What makes DAD, LOVE, ME especially poignant is that, though he’s a main character, Michael Quick will never be able to read the book. Shortly after Michael retired from his banking job, he began to exhibit signs of dementia. By 2024, when Quick began writing the memoir with his mother's full permission, Michael's disease had progressed to the point where meaningful interaction with his son about their shared past no longer was possible, even as their relationship became more tender in the present. Because of that, Quick realized that he needed to “discard the needy-son mentality and put on the giving-father mentality.” And in that process, he came to understand, for all the healing he had to undergo, that “I am my father, and it's my job to redeem us both.”
In 2023, Quick and his wife, novelist Alicia Bessette, relocated from their home on North Carolina’s Outer Banks to Lady’s Island, South Carolina, near Beaufort, purchasing a house within walking distance of his parents’ retirement home. He offers several sad/funny scenes of caregiving for his father during that time. The relationship reaches an apex of melancholy on Super Bowl Sunday in 2025, when father and son, lifelong passionate Philadelphia Eagles fans, watch their team demolish the Kansas City Chiefs, a victory only one of them is capable of celebrating in the moment.
Though the elders they portray are markedly different, DAD, LOVE, ME feels like a worthy companion piece to Joe McGinniss, Jr.'s excellent 2025 memoir, DAMAGED PEOPLE, in their shared recognition that the pain inflicted by abusive or neglectful fathers doesn't emerge out of the ether. This is anything but an easy book to read. That's true both for those who have endured parental abuse and those who have experienced the trials of dealing with a loved one suffering from dementia.
In addition to unearthing the story of his own life with candor and grace, Matthew Quick has admirably fulfilled his goal of offering a frank account simultaneously tinged with optimism that may serve as inspiration for other sons and fathers to achieve some sort of reconciliation before their own opportunities to do that disappear. And in doing so, to amend Czeslaw Milosz's dictum, he reveals that the presence of a writer in the family sometimes offers more healing than hurt.
Reviewed by Harvey Freedenberg
Though he’s published nine novels, Quick is best known for his first, THE SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK, which was transformed into a 2012 movie starring Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence that garnered eight Academy Award nominations. Sadly, that massive hit didn’t translate into a string of literary and film successes for Quick. On the contrary, it wasn’t too many years later that he spiraled into a sustained period of alcoholism, occasional panic attacks and writer’s block.
As Quick reveals in this memoir, written in the form of an extended letter to his father, the roots of his afflictions lay in his toxic relationship with a man who rose from modest circumstances to a career in the banking business, and ended it as a high-level executive of a publicly traded bank. Michael Quick’s abuse only rarely took physical form. Instead, he engaged in a relentless verbal assault against the eldest of his three children, constantly demeaning him for everything from his career choice, to his weight, to his lack of appreciation for what Michael constantly insisted were his tireless efforts to support the family. What made this behavior especially intolerable was its unpredictability, for as Quick puts it, he “never knew when the gun was going to go off.”
Quick methodically recounts several of their most intense confrontations --- including one encounter at the dinner table that grew violent and a tirade when Michael drove his son back to college on the weekend of his 19th birthday, after Quick's girlfriend ended their relationship. These vivid scenes make for painful reading, as one viscerally experiences the harm being inflicted by a heedless, self-absorbed father on a son who lacked the psychological tools to understand fully or defend himself against what was happening. Michael's “constant inability to be what I needed,” Quick writes, “made me hate you.”
Quick credits a therapist he nicknames Zeus (an allusion to the myth of the rebirth of Dionysus) for guiding him through more than 700 hours of Jungian analysis that offered him “a proper psychological relationship” with his past and enabled him to gain some insight into the reasons for his father’s emotional cruelty. In part, they lay in Michael's own upbringing by Quick’s grandfather --- a World War II combat veteran who, paradoxically, often was (with one striking exception) a source of comfort and support to his grandson --- and the actions of an older brother who was a less than ideal masculine role model. Quick takes the reader deep into these therapeutic encounters, all of which were on Zoom, offering a glimpse of the variety of techniques --- including active imagination and Quick's own writing --- that Zeus employs to burrow into the heart of his patient’s troubled psyche.
What makes DAD, LOVE, ME especially poignant is that, though he’s a main character, Michael Quick will never be able to read the book. Shortly after Michael retired from his banking job, he began to exhibit signs of dementia. By 2024, when Quick began writing the memoir with his mother's full permission, Michael's disease had progressed to the point where meaningful interaction with his son about their shared past no longer was possible, even as their relationship became more tender in the present. Because of that, Quick realized that he needed to “discard the needy-son mentality and put on the giving-father mentality.” And in that process, he came to understand, for all the healing he had to undergo, that “I am my father, and it's my job to redeem us both.”
In 2023, Quick and his wife, novelist Alicia Bessette, relocated from their home on North Carolina’s Outer Banks to Lady’s Island, South Carolina, near Beaufort, purchasing a house within walking distance of his parents’ retirement home. He offers several sad/funny scenes of caregiving for his father during that time. The relationship reaches an apex of melancholy on Super Bowl Sunday in 2025, when father and son, lifelong passionate Philadelphia Eagles fans, watch their team demolish the Kansas City Chiefs, a victory only one of them is capable of celebrating in the moment.
Though the elders they portray are markedly different, DAD, LOVE, ME feels like a worthy companion piece to Joe McGinniss, Jr.'s excellent 2025 memoir, DAMAGED PEOPLE, in their shared recognition that the pain inflicted by abusive or neglectful fathers doesn't emerge out of the ether. This is anything but an easy book to read. That's true both for those who have endured parental abuse and those who have experienced the trials of dealing with a loved one suffering from dementia.
In addition to unearthing the story of his own life with candor and grace, Matthew Quick has admirably fulfilled his goal of offering a frank account simultaneously tinged with optimism that may serve as inspiration for other sons and fathers to achieve some sort of reconciliation before their own opportunities to do that disappear. And in doing so, to amend Czeslaw Milosz's dictum, he reveals that the presence of a writer in the family sometimes offers more healing than hurt.
Reviewed by Harvey Freedenberg
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Anyone that knows me well, knows that Matthew Quick is my favourite author and "The Silver Linings Playbook" is my favourite book. No mean feat considering that I read north of 300 books a year. So when I heard he was writing his memoir (part one) I immediately started working out how I was going to get my mitts on it as soon as possible. And then I found out it was to be in the form of a letter to his father and would focus mainly on their relationship. And then I got it and was torn. I really wanted to read it but I was also scared to... for many reasons which, spoiler alert - all turned out to be unfounded...
I read it in a day. Start to finish, not many breaks. Is that wise, I don't know. I do know that it will be re-read by the end of the year.
I then fretted about how I was going to review it. Having only reviewed non fiction a handful of times... But here we go...
As you read this book, you realise how much of himself the author puts into his fictional characters. And how much of his dad and their relationship. So much so that, at times, I almost forgot I was reading a memoir. Occasionally also wished that I wasn't, so hard hitting some of the examples were. I think in my past reviews for his fiction books that I have banged on about the author writing THE BEST wounded characters. Now I know why, it makes me slightly uncomfortable how much I love his books, especially my favourite. But I had absolutely no idea about the man behind the words. Now I know him a little bit better, is TSLP still my favourite book? Heck Yeah! Just maybe in a slightly different way. Quite how, I will no doubt find out when I do my annual re-read (listen) of it later this year.
I knew from "We are the Light" that he was going through Jungian Analysis and he describes the process here. Food for thought indeed for me and my issues in the future maybe. I also had fractious and fractured relationships with my parents, who are both no longer alive, so it is too late for me to reconcile with either. But I am glad that the author got his chance, and maybe also, this book will help others likewise.
Gosh, I do make it all to be doom and gloom. There are certainly quite detailed, very emotional, hard hitting, parts, but there are also plenty of lighter moments which do keep the book on an even keel and prevent it from getting too dark to handle.
Outwith the father/son/Jungian themes herein, I absolutely loved my Eagles being included so much. Especially whooping the Chiefs in the Superbowl! I had only just got into the NFL when I read TSLP so it was my introduction to all things E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles and, each season, I both thank and curse the author for this (occasional) cross to bear #GoBirds.
All that's left is to thanks the author for his brutal honesty, his warts and all, laid bare, accounts. His family and friends for supporting him, "Zeus" for guiding him, and the Publisher for inviting me to read this memoir.
I read it in a day. Start to finish, not many breaks. Is that wise, I don't know. I do know that it will be re-read by the end of the year.
I then fretted about how I was going to review it. Having only reviewed non fiction a handful of times... But here we go...
As you read this book, you realise how much of himself the author puts into his fictional characters. And how much of his dad and their relationship. So much so that, at times, I almost forgot I was reading a memoir. Occasionally also wished that I wasn't, so hard hitting some of the examples were. I think in my past reviews for his fiction books that I have banged on about the author writing THE BEST wounded characters. Now I know why, it makes me slightly uncomfortable how much I love his books, especially my favourite. But I had absolutely no idea about the man behind the words. Now I know him a little bit better, is TSLP still my favourite book? Heck Yeah! Just maybe in a slightly different way. Quite how, I will no doubt find out when I do my annual re-read (listen) of it later this year.
I knew from "We are the Light" that he was going through Jungian Analysis and he describes the process here. Food for thought indeed for me and my issues in the future maybe. I also had fractious and fractured relationships with my parents, who are both no longer alive, so it is too late for me to reconcile with either. But I am glad that the author got his chance, and maybe also, this book will help others likewise.
Gosh, I do make it all to be doom and gloom. There are certainly quite detailed, very emotional, hard hitting, parts, but there are also plenty of lighter moments which do keep the book on an even keel and prevent it from getting too dark to handle.
Outwith the father/son/Jungian themes herein, I absolutely loved my Eagles being included so much. Especially whooping the Chiefs in the Superbowl! I had only just got into the NFL when I read TSLP so it was my introduction to all things E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles and, each season, I both thank and curse the author for this (occasional) cross to bear #GoBirds.
All that's left is to thanks the author for his brutal honesty, his warts and all, laid bare, accounts. His family and friends for supporting him, "Zeus" for guiding him, and the Publisher for inviting me to read this memoir.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Dad, Love, Me by Matthew Quick is a heartbreaking, honest, and very highly recommended memoir about the troubling and disparaging relationship with his father, Mike, who now suffers from dementia. In the opening he writes, "I trust your soul to know what to do with my memoir." As a reader, I thank him for his courage, vulnerability, and honesty. I have been looking forward to reading this for months.
This memoir is an exceptionally well-written, emotionally honest account that is both brave and inspiring as Quick shares his memories and feelings being raised by a father who never really knew how to show love and encouragement. The unwavering support of his wife is ever present. Quick also found other supportive men who play a key role in his life. Those reading Quick's Substack know he has been struggling with writing this candid account of his fraught relationship with his father and his own recovery and participation in Jungian therapy. As his father slips further into dementia, Quick has been there to help both his father and mother. This has helped him find a connection and closure.
The chapters move back and forth in time while exploring his relationship with his father and his own struggles with drinking, anxiety, and writer's block. This is a very effective presentation as it mimics memories and thoughts being suddenly recalled during current events. Some chapters are to his father, recounting how demoralizing, cold, and cruel he was. Other chapters offer insight into the Zoom-based Jungian analysis he undertakes with a man he calls Zeus. Then there are the chapters recounting events in more recent times as his father's dementia takes hold.
What sets this memoir above and beyond others is the honesty about both memories and personal struggles. Quick hopes his account will help other men deal with the fraught relationships with their fathers and find healing, closure, and forgiveness, but others can also find healing. Honestly, many families can be difficult. There were several poignant passages I highlighted. One referred to advice he was given that the suffering he was experiencing was actually a gift from God. Quick needed to realize that everything good in his life was there because God allowed it to be there. In another impactful passage he recounted advice that he didn't have to tolerate being infected by his father's words. He could liberate himself, a very worthwhile concept to consider.
Dad, Love, Me is an excellence choice for those who appreciate memoirs, struggle with relationships due to fathers (or family members), and are seeking healing. Truly, everything about this memoir is outstanding, poignant, and deeply moving. Thanks to Avid Reader Press for providing me with an advance reader's copy via NetGalley. My review is voluntary and expresses my honest opinion.
http://www.shetreadssoftly.com/2026/0...
This memoir is an exceptionally well-written, emotionally honest account that is both brave and inspiring as Quick shares his memories and feelings being raised by a father who never really knew how to show love and encouragement. The unwavering support of his wife is ever present. Quick also found other supportive men who play a key role in his life. Those reading Quick's Substack know he has been struggling with writing this candid account of his fraught relationship with his father and his own recovery and participation in Jungian therapy. As his father slips further into dementia, Quick has been there to help both his father and mother. This has helped him find a connection and closure.
The chapters move back and forth in time while exploring his relationship with his father and his own struggles with drinking, anxiety, and writer's block. This is a very effective presentation as it mimics memories and thoughts being suddenly recalled during current events. Some chapters are to his father, recounting how demoralizing, cold, and cruel he was. Other chapters offer insight into the Zoom-based Jungian analysis he undertakes with a man he calls Zeus. Then there are the chapters recounting events in more recent times as his father's dementia takes hold.
What sets this memoir above and beyond others is the honesty about both memories and personal struggles. Quick hopes his account will help other men deal with the fraught relationships with their fathers and find healing, closure, and forgiveness, but others can also find healing. Honestly, many families can be difficult. There were several poignant passages I highlighted. One referred to advice he was given that the suffering he was experiencing was actually a gift from God. Quick needed to realize that everything good in his life was there because God allowed it to be there. In another impactful passage he recounted advice that he didn't have to tolerate being infected by his father's words. He could liberate himself, a very worthwhile concept to consider.
Dad, Love, Me is an excellence choice for those who appreciate memoirs, struggle with relationships due to fathers (or family members), and are seeking healing. Truly, everything about this memoir is outstanding, poignant, and deeply moving. Thanks to Avid Reader Press for providing me with an advance reader's copy via NetGalley. My review is voluntary and expresses my honest opinion.
http://www.shetreadssoftly.com/2026/0...
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Matthew Quick's newest book, a memoir about the impacts of being raised by an emotionally volatile and abusive father, fully shows the pain and torment of not receiving love and acknowledgment from those who should have loved us first and the most. The damage is deep, lasting and can color our interpretations of future expectations, experiences, and relationships.
The author didn't realize when he was growing up that he was part of a multigenerational cycle of extreme dysfunction and abuse. He didn't know that both his father and grandfather were also abused and mistreated by fathers who didn't know better. He only knew that he was continually humiliated, belittled, raged at and punished which made him feel unlovable and pushed him into several deep depressions and thoughts about suicide.
To Matthew's credit, it didn't break him. His spirit was strong enough that he sought help and understanding in years of therapy. He found other men that he could talk to, he found a loving wife who walked with him through the dark times. He survived. But he was still in constant emotional pain.
Then his father got dementia, and Matthew realized that his father's pride, acknowledgment, and love may never happen. That it was quite possible that the reconciliation and loving relationship he'd wanted all his life might never be. Now what?
This is where Matthew showed his true strength. He not only survived, he grew; in fact he soared. He and his wife moved into a house close to his parents so that he could help his aging mother provide care for the father who had caused him nothing but pain. As his father progressed in his dementia, Matthew slowly came to understand that his father too still had a small boy inside him seeking approval and love. Perhaps there was still time to make things better between them.
I think Quick shows great bravery in his vulnerability and openness. We see his struggles with mental health, and his talent in expressing himself makes readers feel what he felt. We come to understand with him what hard work therapy is, and how painful it can be to face your past and truly bring yourself to the other side of it. This book is raw, unflinching, and not an easy read. But it is an important one, and one I recommend most highly to anyone who has been in similar situations themselves or loves someone who has been.
Matthew Quick, I admire you. And you're right - you're going to help a lot of people with this book. This book gets a five-star rating from me.
My thanks to the author, and also to Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster for letting me access a DRC via NetGalley. Publication is 7/21/26. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own and are freely given.
The author didn't realize when he was growing up that he was part of a multigenerational cycle of extreme dysfunction and abuse. He didn't know that both his father and grandfather were also abused and mistreated by fathers who didn't know better. He only knew that he was continually humiliated, belittled, raged at and punished which made him feel unlovable and pushed him into several deep depressions and thoughts about suicide.
To Matthew's credit, it didn't break him. His spirit was strong enough that he sought help and understanding in years of therapy. He found other men that he could talk to, he found a loving wife who walked with him through the dark times. He survived. But he was still in constant emotional pain.
Then his father got dementia, and Matthew realized that his father's pride, acknowledgment, and love may never happen. That it was quite possible that the reconciliation and loving relationship he'd wanted all his life might never be. Now what?
This is where Matthew showed his true strength. He not only survived, he grew; in fact he soared. He and his wife moved into a house close to his parents so that he could help his aging mother provide care for the father who had caused him nothing but pain. As his father progressed in his dementia, Matthew slowly came to understand that his father too still had a small boy inside him seeking approval and love. Perhaps there was still time to make things better between them.
I think Quick shows great bravery in his vulnerability and openness. We see his struggles with mental health, and his talent in expressing himself makes readers feel what he felt. We come to understand with him what hard work therapy is, and how painful it can be to face your past and truly bring yourself to the other side of it. This book is raw, unflinching, and not an easy read. But it is an important one, and one I recommend most highly to anyone who has been in similar situations themselves or loves someone who has been.
Matthew Quick, I admire you. And you're right - you're going to help a lot of people with this book. This book gets a five-star rating from me.
My thanks to the author, and also to Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster for letting me access a DRC via NetGalley. Publication is 7/21/26. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own and are freely given.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free, electronic ARC of this novel received in exchange for an honest review.
Expected publication date: July 21, 2026
Matthew Quick is the author of “The Silver Linings Playbook”, as well as many others, but his new book, “Dad, Love, Me: A Memoir” is a poignant memoir about a strained relationship between a son and his abusive father and the forgiveness that comes after Quick’s father is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
“Love” is not an easy book to read. Quick’s father is abusive, physically and emotionally, and he left permanent emotional scars on young Matthew that stuck around into his adulthood. With the help of a Jungian analyst, Quick comes to terms with how his childhood contributes to his panic and anxiety that he suffers as an adult. Of course, as Matthew’s father, Mike, starts to struggle with the challenges of Alzheimer’s, the novel is emotional in a different way, as Matthew works toward mending the relationship before it’s too late.
Quick talks openly and candidly about his personal mental health struggles, as well as the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father and it is exceptionally powerful and brave. Quick identifies to his therapist that he wants to write this memoir so he can help other people, especially men, who are uncomfortable talking about their feelings and have underlying mental health issues that they don’t want to admit to. Although I’m sure “Love” serves just this purpose, it also helps Quick come to terms with his trauma and helps him overcome it.
“Love” is about a man’s desire for love, especially from the man who denied it to him his whole life. Quick, however, is able to maintain a healthy romantic relationship with his beloved wife, Alicia, and finally comes to terms with the harm his father caused him, provides forgiveness, and overcomes, which gives “Love” a heartwarming ending.
Much praise should go to Quick for opening up about his mental health struggles and his abusive childhood and hopefully “Love” encourages other people (men, in particular) to seek help. “Love” is a thought-provoking, heartbreaking (and heartwarming) read that covers some serious themes and topics, but it is definitely worth a read (just have tissues handy)!
Expected publication date: July 21, 2026
Matthew Quick is the author of “The Silver Linings Playbook”, as well as many others, but his new book, “Dad, Love, Me: A Memoir” is a poignant memoir about a strained relationship between a son and his abusive father and the forgiveness that comes after Quick’s father is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
“Love” is not an easy book to read. Quick’s father is abusive, physically and emotionally, and he left permanent emotional scars on young Matthew that stuck around into his adulthood. With the help of a Jungian analyst, Quick comes to terms with how his childhood contributes to his panic and anxiety that he suffers as an adult. Of course, as Matthew’s father, Mike, starts to struggle with the challenges of Alzheimer’s, the novel is emotional in a different way, as Matthew works toward mending the relationship before it’s too late.
Quick talks openly and candidly about his personal mental health struggles, as well as the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father and it is exceptionally powerful and brave. Quick identifies to his therapist that he wants to write this memoir so he can help other people, especially men, who are uncomfortable talking about their feelings and have underlying mental health issues that they don’t want to admit to. Although I’m sure “Love” serves just this purpose, it also helps Quick come to terms with his trauma and helps him overcome it.
“Love” is about a man’s desire for love, especially from the man who denied it to him his whole life. Quick, however, is able to maintain a healthy romantic relationship with his beloved wife, Alicia, and finally comes to terms with the harm his father caused him, provides forgiveness, and overcomes, which gives “Love” a heartwarming ending.
Much praise should go to Quick for opening up about his mental health struggles and his abusive childhood and hopefully “Love” encourages other people (men, in particular) to seek help. “Love” is a thought-provoking, heartbreaking (and heartwarming) read that covers some serious themes and topics, but it is definitely worth a read (just have tissues handy)!
August 24, 2026
This book is equal parts gratifying and gut-wrenching, but comes full circle to end on an uplifting note. Rather similar to my first foray into Quick’s literary world over a decade ago - with Forgive me shortly after the Sandy Hook elementary tragedy -, it left an indelible impression. Was naturally curious to see he’d released a memoir addressing his childhood and imposter syndrome.
Resubscribed to audible as I wanted to digest it on the road, but later realised there were one too many excerpts I had to highlight less than 3 chapters in - do yourself a favor and get the ebook / paperback. Though the book centers on the tumultuous relationship between a parent / child, many of the overarching takeaways are applicable in various facets. Having borne witness to complicated family feuds recently, this book also serves as a mirror.
- Having struggled with toying the line between “they’re a byproduct of their generation / environment” / “It’s everyone first shot at life too", and experiencing disappointment bordering on indignation because I can’t cleanly reconcile these sentiments, Quick reminds me that someone’s “did the best I could” can still hurt and that knowledge is in and of itself a blessing. Reshape your narrative with it so you aren’t held prison to your resentment.
- Forgiveness comes from within and will never rely on another’s actions or lack thereof. Do it for oneself and then live well and live boldly.
- Hurt people hurt people. Be the change you want to see so it ends with you.
- Validation. We all yearn for it (even a NYT best-selling author whose book was adapted into an Oscar-winning film isn’t spared!), especially from loved ones when they actively withhold it. So be kinder to yourself.
Call it Stockholm syndrome or whichever clinical pop psych jargon currently dominates the sphere, the solution remains the same: give pause and ask yourself why you’re relentlessly chasing the approval of someone whom you don’t even respect or want to emulate to any degree. The agenda of someone withholding to manipulate is questionable AF and I pray I’ll never understand. And on the flip side, of those you (think) deeply admire, ponder hard over if you want your one shot at life to be a carbon copy of theirs. Truly, what fun is there in that?
Resubscribed to audible as I wanted to digest it on the road, but later realised there were one too many excerpts I had to highlight less than 3 chapters in - do yourself a favor and get the ebook / paperback. Though the book centers on the tumultuous relationship between a parent / child, many of the overarching takeaways are applicable in various facets. Having borne witness to complicated family feuds recently, this book also serves as a mirror.
- Having struggled with toying the line between “they’re a byproduct of their generation / environment” / “It’s everyone first shot at life too", and experiencing disappointment bordering on indignation because I can’t cleanly reconcile these sentiments, Quick reminds me that someone’s “did the best I could” can still hurt and that knowledge is in and of itself a blessing. Reshape your narrative with it so you aren’t held prison to your resentment.
- Forgiveness comes from within and will never rely on another’s actions or lack thereof. Do it for oneself and then live well and live boldly.
- Hurt people hurt people. Be the change you want to see so it ends with you.
- Validation. We all yearn for it (even a NYT best-selling author whose book was adapted into an Oscar-winning film isn’t spared!), especially from loved ones when they actively withhold it. So be kinder to yourself.
Call it Stockholm syndrome or whichever clinical pop psych jargon currently dominates the sphere, the solution remains the same: give pause and ask yourself why you’re relentlessly chasing the approval of someone whom you don’t even respect or want to emulate to any degree. The agenda of someone withholding to manipulate is questionable AF and I pray I’ll never understand. And on the flip side, of those you (think) deeply admire, ponder hard over if you want your one shot at life to be a carbon copy of theirs. Truly, what fun is there in that?
August 2, 2026
Dad, Love, Me is Matthew Quick’s deeply personal memoir exploring his complicated relationship with his father, the pain of growing up in an emotionally difficult family, and the long, often messy journey toward understanding, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Through deeply vulnerable reflections, Quick examines how childhood experiences shaped his life while offering a hopeful look at the possibility of healing even the most fractured relationships.
I’ve been waiting months for this book, and it absolutely lived up to my expectations. Matthew Quick has long been one of my favorite authors, so I was incredibly excited to read his first work of nonfiction. Even though this is a memoir, it carries the same creativity, emotional depth, and beautifully crafted prose that I’ve always loved in his novels. His writing feels effortless while still being deeply intentional.
As someone writing a memoir of my own, this book resonated with me on another level. I learned so much simply by paying attention to how Quick structured his story, balanced reflection with narrative, and allowed difficult moments to breathe. I’ll definitely be taking lessons from this book back to my own writing. I also appreciated his honesty about the fears that come with publishing a memoir—especially the anxiety of how loved ones will be portrayed and how readers might respond. Those are the very same fears I wrestle with, and it was comforting to see another writer openly acknowledge them.
This is not an easy book to read emotionally. My heart broke for Matthew and for his father over and over again as they struggled through years of misunderstanding, hurt, and missed opportunities. Yet despite the sadness, this memoir is ultimately filled with hope. Watching the evolution of their father-son relationship was incredibly moving, and it reminded me that healing is possible even after years of pain.
This memoir left me emotional, inspired, and hopeful. It’s a beautiful reminder that while we can’t change the past, we can choose compassion, forgiveness, and the possibility of writing a different ending.
I’ve been waiting months for this book, and it absolutely lived up to my expectations. Matthew Quick has long been one of my favorite authors, so I was incredibly excited to read his first work of nonfiction. Even though this is a memoir, it carries the same creativity, emotional depth, and beautifully crafted prose that I’ve always loved in his novels. His writing feels effortless while still being deeply intentional.
As someone writing a memoir of my own, this book resonated with me on another level. I learned so much simply by paying attention to how Quick structured his story, balanced reflection with narrative, and allowed difficult moments to breathe. I’ll definitely be taking lessons from this book back to my own writing. I also appreciated his honesty about the fears that come with publishing a memoir—especially the anxiety of how loved ones will be portrayed and how readers might respond. Those are the very same fears I wrestle with, and it was comforting to see another writer openly acknowledge them.
This is not an easy book to read emotionally. My heart broke for Matthew and for his father over and over again as they struggled through years of misunderstanding, hurt, and missed opportunities. Yet despite the sadness, this memoir is ultimately filled with hope. Watching the evolution of their father-son relationship was incredibly moving, and it reminded me that healing is possible even after years of pain.
This memoir left me emotional, inspired, and hopeful. It’s a beautiful reminder that while we can’t change the past, we can choose compassion, forgiveness, and the possibility of writing a different ending.
August 1, 2026
There was a 1991 movie called "Regarding Henry," in which cold-hearted attorney Harrison Ford suffers a traumatic brain injury and emerges as a kinder, gentler guy. I thought of it while reading Matthew Quick's memoir about his abusive father who also becomes a kinder, gentler guy when he develops dementia.
Quick, author of The Silver Linings Playbook, obviously has father issues, and the book alternates between painful childhood memories and Quick's Jungian analysis in which he moves towards self-acceptance and forgiveness. There isn't the anger found in such parental horror stories as I'm Glad My Mom Died; Quick pretty quickly understands that his father was also a victim of an abusive dad (who was strangely loving and affectionate with Matthew), and that he dealt with his emotional wounds by transferring them to his oldest child.
I'm all for forgiving horrible parents who had their own damage (my mom was toxic), but I am uncomfortable with the therapist insisting that Quick has to love his dad in order to heal. The fact that the guy who repeatedly told Matthew he was worthless and physically assaulted him is now childishly enthusiastic about watching Philadelphia Eagles games together makes that an easier task, but IMO parents like that aren't owed anything, much less love.
Jungian therapy is heavy on mythology and archetypes, and it's more easily applied to men than women because of the sausage-fest of ancient gods. That was a little off-putting to me, but I suppose if a guy reads this book and is inspired to get help, it's worthwhile.
Quick, author of The Silver Linings Playbook, obviously has father issues, and the book alternates between painful childhood memories and Quick's Jungian analysis in which he moves towards self-acceptance and forgiveness. There isn't the anger found in such parental horror stories as I'm Glad My Mom Died; Quick pretty quickly understands that his father was also a victim of an abusive dad (who was strangely loving and affectionate with Matthew), and that he dealt with his emotional wounds by transferring them to his oldest child.
I'm all for forgiving horrible parents who had their own damage (my mom was toxic), but I am uncomfortable with the therapist insisting that Quick has to love his dad in order to heal. The fact that the guy who repeatedly told Matthew he was worthless and physically assaulted him is now childishly enthusiastic about watching Philadelphia Eagles games together makes that an easier task, but IMO parents like that aren't owed anything, much less love.
Jungian therapy is heavy on mythology and archetypes, and it's more easily applied to men than women because of the sausage-fest of ancient gods. That was a little off-putting to me, but I suppose if a guy reads this book and is inspired to get help, it's worthwhile.
August 19, 2026
Dad, Love, Me: A Memoir by Matthew Quick is a deeply personal and honest exploration of a difficult father-son relationship, childhood wounds, addiction, mental health, and the complicated path toward forgiveness. Written largely as a letter to his aging father, the memoir looks back at the experiences that shaped Quick and the emotional scars left by a father who was often cold, critical, and abusive. Even after Quick becomes a successful novelist, he continues to carry the need for his father’s approval, while struggling privately with anxiety, depression, addiction, and feelings of shame.
As Quick reaches a crisis in his personal and creative life, he turns to therapy, where he begins confronting painful memories and understanding how his childhood has influenced the man he has become. His recovery becomes even more urgent when his father is diagnosed with dementia. Realizing that time is running out, Quick and his wife move closer to his parents so he can be present during his father’s final years. The situation forces him to face an uncomfortable question: how can you forgive someone who caused you deep pain, especially when that person may never fully understand what they did?
Rather than offering an easy story of reconciliation, Quick presents forgiveness as a complicated and imperfect process. Dad, Love, Me is ultimately about breaking cycles of pain, accepting the past without excusing it, and choosing compassion even when love has been difficult. It is a moving reflection on family, healing, masculinity, and the courage it takes to show up before it is too late.
As Quick reaches a crisis in his personal and creative life, he turns to therapy, where he begins confronting painful memories and understanding how his childhood has influenced the man he has become. His recovery becomes even more urgent when his father is diagnosed with dementia. Realizing that time is running out, Quick and his wife move closer to his parents so he can be present during his father’s final years. The situation forces him to face an uncomfortable question: how can you forgive someone who caused you deep pain, especially when that person may never fully understand what they did?
Rather than offering an easy story of reconciliation, Quick presents forgiveness as a complicated and imperfect process. Dad, Love, Me is ultimately about breaking cycles of pain, accepting the past without excusing it, and choosing compassion even when love has been difficult. It is a moving reflection on family, healing, masculinity, and the courage it takes to show up before it is too late.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Dad, Love, Me by Matthew Quick is a heartbreaking, honest, and highly recommended memoir about his troubled relationship with his father, Mike, who now suffers from dementia. It is honestly hard to read sometimes. As a longtime fan of Quick's novels, I appreciated the courage behind this candid turn to memoir. Mental health struggles are a common theme in his fiction, and now we know why.
Quick writes movingly about being raised by a father who never knew how to show love, while also crediting the steady support of his wife and other men who stepped in as mentors. The chapters move between his childhood, his struggles with drinking, anxiety, and writer's block, his Jungian therapy sessions via Zoom, and his father's decline into dementia. This nonlinear structure works well, mirroring the way memory actually surfaces. He also delves into his father's childhood and the difficulties that shaped him.
What makes this memoir stand out is its unflinching honesty about his father's cruelty, his own struggles, and the long road toward healing. He battled through a lot as a result of his upbringing and found it in his heart to forgive and care for his father during his senior years.
Quick clearly hopes this book helps other men with fraught father relationships, but really, anyone from a difficult family will find something here. Poignant, honest, and deeply moving — highly recommended.
Thanks to Avid Reader Press and NetGalley for the advance copy.
Quick writes movingly about being raised by a father who never knew how to show love, while also crediting the steady support of his wife and other men who stepped in as mentors. The chapters move between his childhood, his struggles with drinking, anxiety, and writer's block, his Jungian therapy sessions via Zoom, and his father's decline into dementia. This nonlinear structure works well, mirroring the way memory actually surfaces. He also delves into his father's childhood and the difficulties that shaped him.
What makes this memoir stand out is its unflinching honesty about his father's cruelty, his own struggles, and the long road toward healing. He battled through a lot as a result of his upbringing and found it in his heart to forgive and care for his father during his senior years.
Quick clearly hopes this book helps other men with fraught father relationships, but really, anyone from a difficult family will find something here. Poignant, honest, and deeply moving — highly recommended.
Thanks to Avid Reader Press and NetGalley for the advance copy.
July 26, 2026
Matthew Quick's Dad, Love, Me is a profoundly honest and emotionally resonant memoir that explores grief, forgiveness, addiction, mental health, and the enduring complexity of the parent-child relationship. Written as a heartfelt letter to his father, the book captures the painful reality of growing up with emotional neglect while also revealing the extraordinary courage it takes to seek healing rather than resentment.
What makes this memoir so compelling is its remarkable vulnerability. Quick never simplifies the emotional landscape or offers easy answers. Instead, he invites readers into the difficult process of confronting childhood wounds, navigating recovery, and discovering that forgiveness is often an ongoing choice rather than a single moment. His reflections on creativity, therapy, sobriety, and family are deeply personal yet universally relatable.
The narrative balances heartbreak with hope, reminding readers that even the deepest scars can become places of compassion and growth. Quick's writing is thoughtful, authentic, and emotionally rich, making every chapter feel both intimate and impactful. This is far more than a memoir about loss. It is a moving testament to resilience, reconciliation, and the transformative power of choosing love in the face of pain. It is an unforgettable work that will resonate with anyone who has struggled with family, healing, or the search for peace.
What makes this memoir so compelling is its remarkable vulnerability. Quick never simplifies the emotional landscape or offers easy answers. Instead, he invites readers into the difficult process of confronting childhood wounds, navigating recovery, and discovering that forgiveness is often an ongoing choice rather than a single moment. His reflections on creativity, therapy, sobriety, and family are deeply personal yet universally relatable.
The narrative balances heartbreak with hope, reminding readers that even the deepest scars can become places of compassion and growth. Quick's writing is thoughtful, authentic, and emotionally rich, making every chapter feel both intimate and impactful. This is far more than a memoir about loss. It is a moving testament to resilience, reconciliation, and the transformative power of choosing love in the face of pain. It is an unforgettable work that will resonate with anyone who has struggled with family, healing, or the search for peace.
September 14, 2026
There is a lot of good in this sad, heavy memoir. It’s heartbreaking to have few happy childhood memories, to still seize up at age 66. I have generational trauma, abuse, family alcoholism and depression in common with Matthew Quick, and I have the added dose of paternal PTSD thanks to Vietnam (and possibly maternal PTSD thanks to being Catholic and Italian). In any case, I can completely relate to the horror of the ‘loaded gun’ his father wielded. I had the double barrel of both parents. It’s a testament to the human spirit that we can survive such chaos, especially as young children with no coping mechanisms. And then the choice to try to break the chain.
So, yes, this is a very triggering read. But necessary for anyone who hasn’t experienced this kind of parenting to understand. And to know too forgiveness is a choice that also frees our own hearts. I’ve only had self analysis but as I matured I realized my parents did the best they could at the time with their own pressures and problems, and we were able to have a better relationship before they each passed away. I also found this helpful since we are dealing with my father-in-law’s dementia, which definitely brings a different weighted layer to the relationship we have with him.
Thank you for being brave enough to share this. Bless you.
So, yes, this is a very triggering read. But necessary for anyone who hasn’t experienced this kind of parenting to understand. And to know too forgiveness is a choice that also frees our own hearts. I’ve only had self analysis but as I matured I realized my parents did the best they could at the time with their own pressures and problems, and we were able to have a better relationship before they each passed away. I also found this helpful since we are dealing with my father-in-law’s dementia, which definitely brings a different weighted layer to the relationship we have with him.
Thank you for being brave enough to share this. Bless you.
July 26, 2026
Matthew Quick’ has long been one of my fiction favorites. I subscribed to his Substack early on, and it taught me that he’s a man willing to look within, emote, and acknowledge life’s blemishes. It never feels like he’s varnishing a story, and that made me excited to read this memoir. After reading it, I’m full of admiration for him.
The retelling of particular moments in his paternal relationship hit me in the gut. So hard that at times tears were dripping before I realized that I was crying, or my breathing had tightened as if I were in the situation being retold. The gold here though isn’t in the naked honesty or gorgeous writing, but rather in the midlife remaking of his own story. As his father’s mind declines from dementia, Matthew Quick isn’t writing solely about what has been. Despite what has been, he and his wife relocate to be near his parents, and he gently cares for a father who’d been viciously cruel to him at each opportunity for decades. He seeks and commits to years of Jungian analysis to uncover what needs healing. There’s so much hope here, so much goodness.
I found this to be one of the most beautiful memoirs I’ve read. It inspires me to find ways to heal my own battered familial chains. There’s no one that wouldn’t benefit from reading this book.
The retelling of particular moments in his paternal relationship hit me in the gut. So hard that at times tears were dripping before I realized that I was crying, or my breathing had tightened as if I were in the situation being retold. The gold here though isn’t in the naked honesty or gorgeous writing, but rather in the midlife remaking of his own story. As his father’s mind declines from dementia, Matthew Quick isn’t writing solely about what has been. Despite what has been, he and his wife relocate to be near his parents, and he gently cares for a father who’d been viciously cruel to him at each opportunity for decades. He seeks and commits to years of Jungian analysis to uncover what needs healing. There’s so much hope here, so much goodness.
I found this to be one of the most beautiful memoirs I’ve read. It inspires me to find ways to heal my own battered familial chains. There’s no one that wouldn’t benefit from reading this book.
October 8, 2026
I picked up one of his books back during my freshman year of high school and he has remained one of my favorite authors in the 14 years since. This memoir was incredibly powerful and had me looking at the relationships in my life in new ways. I don't share the same belief system as him, but I feel like he did a really good job and making it understood to the reader that he was applying his religious affiliation to himself and his family, but not to others in his life that don't practice it, which I feel is really uncommon in books like this.
A fun fact no one asked for, 10 years ago I was writing my senior exploratory paper in high school and I have always had a passion for reading and writing, so naturally I chose to write my paper on writing/authors as the general topic. Out of all of the people, big named and locally, that I'd reached out to Matthew was the only one that I heard back from and answered questions for me. It's incredible to read now what all he had been dealing with in his life back when I had sent that email, and it means even more to me now knowing that he was still willing to help a hopeful student.
A fun fact no one asked for, 10 years ago I was writing my senior exploratory paper in high school and I have always had a passion for reading and writing, so naturally I chose to write my paper on writing/authors as the general topic. Out of all of the people, big named and locally, that I'd reached out to Matthew was the only one that I heard back from and answered questions for me. It's incredible to read now what all he had been dealing with in his life back when I had sent that email, and it means even more to me now knowing that he was still willing to help a hopeful student.
July 31, 2026
Matthew Quick is an author I really admire after loving The Silver Linings Playbook, so I was excited to read his memoir. Knowing how much heart and emotion he brings to his fiction, I was curious to see the real experiences that helped shape his writing.
This is an incredibly honest and vulnerable memoir. Quick doesn't try to make himself look perfect, and that's what makes the book so powerful. He writes openly about family, addiction, mental health, forgiveness, and the complicated relationship he had with his father. Some parts were difficult to read, but there are also moments of warmth and even humor that keep the book from feeling overwhelmingly heavy.
Looking back on The Silver Linings Playbook after reading this memoir, it's easy to see how much of Matthew Quick found its way into his fiction. It gave me an even greater appreciation for his work and made me want to reread The Silver Linings Playbook with a new perspective. This is a moving memoir about healing, forgiveness, and finding a way forward, even when the past never completely lets go.
This is an incredibly honest and vulnerable memoir. Quick doesn't try to make himself look perfect, and that's what makes the book so powerful. He writes openly about family, addiction, mental health, forgiveness, and the complicated relationship he had with his father. Some parts were difficult to read, but there are also moments of warmth and even humor that keep the book from feeling overwhelmingly heavy.
Looking back on The Silver Linings Playbook after reading this memoir, it's easy to see how much of Matthew Quick found its way into his fiction. It gave me an even greater appreciation for his work and made me want to reread The Silver Linings Playbook with a new perspective. This is a moving memoir about healing, forgiveness, and finding a way forward, even when the past never completely lets go.
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