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Stealing Arthur
In this hilarious novel based on an actual event, author Joel Perry tells of fifty-five of Hollywood’s highest awards--the Arthurs--have been stolen, setting in motion the kind of crazy only turn-of-the-millennium Los Angeles can provide. Intrigue, murder, comedy, sex, romance, celebrity dish, and ultimately redemption play out for characters from Skid Row to Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, including all the desperate wannabes in between. In a town where people would happily kill anyone for a part, what would they do for a gilded Arthur statuette?
- GenresM M Romance
380 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 4, 2015
2 people are currently reading
33 people want to read
About the author
Joel Perry
12 books5 followersJoel Perry grew up heavy, hairy, and homo in North Carolina. He has lived in Florida, Washington DC, NYC, and LA as an actor, writer, comedian, producer, workshop leader, and spiritual director. He is the author of two collections of funny stories and essays ("Funny That Way" and the Lambda Literary Award-nominated "That's Why They're In Cages, People!"), two how-to books, and most recently "Stealing Arthur," his new wild novel based on the 2000 theft of 55 Academy Awards where only 52 were recovered. Hey, in a town where people would kill for a part, what would they do for an actual award?
"When I read I like my novels chunky," Joel says, "and I want my readers to feel like they've had a full meal when they're done. So for 'Stealing Arthur' I mixed in romance, mystery, intrigue, comedy, surprises, over-the-top craziness, Hollywood dish, violence, laughter, tears, a whole lot of heart, and of course sex. In a town like LA, you can get all that in a single afternoon and still have time for shopping!"
After 28 years in Los Angeles, Joel has returned home to Wilmington, NC where he lives with his husband, Fred, and two cats that are so adorable and cuddly you just want to vomit.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Steali...
"When I read I like my novels chunky," Joel says, "and I want my readers to feel like they've had a full meal when they're done. So for 'Stealing Arthur' I mixed in romance, mystery, intrigue, comedy, surprises, over-the-top craziness, Hollywood dish, violence, laughter, tears, a whole lot of heart, and of course sex. In a town like LA, you can get all that in a single afternoon and still have time for shopping!"
After 28 years in Los Angeles, Joel has returned home to Wilmington, NC where he lives with his husband, Fred, and two cats that are so adorable and cuddly you just want to vomit.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Steali...
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
March 12, 2015
“Stealing Arthur”
By Joel Perry
Five stars
Review originally written for the Prism Book Alliance.
The French have an expression: Quelle salade! It refers to a confused and complicated situation.
Alternatively, in Québéquois French it means “what a pack of lies!” Which, after all, is not so far off, either.
Joel Perry’s “Stealing Arthur” is dizzying, riotous, Byzantine in its plotting, rife with intersecting characters, and offers us a profoundly cynical view of Hollywood and the movie industry.
It’s hilarious.
Imagine the old film “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World” combined with “Pulp Fiction.” Imagine a gang of gay Mafiosi trying to rig the annual film institute awards (here renamed the Arthurs, mostly likely for reasons of avoiding lawsuits). Imagine a dozen Los Angeles gay boys of every shape and size, in every possible variation of psychological and emotional distress.
Quelle salade, indeed.
Although Perry’s madcap novel is truly an ensemble piece, in which every character matters, it seems to me that Guy Lanner is the moral core of the story. A refugee from an anti-gay indoctrination camp called Desert Springs, Guy lives in West Hollywood and is known to take in strays—damaged young men who have suffered at the hands of a homophobic society. Guy’s story is at the center of the epic shenanigans in “Stealing Arthur,” which pretends to be about the egotism and greed that is Hollywood, but which is really about the redemptive qualities of love, compassion, and friendship.
There are very good people in this tale; there are very bad people; there are bad people who are not as bad as they seem, and apparently good people who are not really so good. There are surprises aplenty, ranging from acts of startling violence to moments of spiritual revelation. And the chief delight in reading this novel is discovering who all these people are among the twists and turns of its lurid tapestry of interwoven plotlines.
I almost knocked off a star because there is not a single person in this book who isn’t messed up in some way. I know for a fact that there are plenty of gay men in Los Angeles who live pretty normal lives and have not been screwed over by their families or society.
But then again, who writes books about them? So I added the fifth star back on.
By Joel Perry
Five stars
Review originally written for the Prism Book Alliance.
The French have an expression: Quelle salade! It refers to a confused and complicated situation.
Alternatively, in Québéquois French it means “what a pack of lies!” Which, after all, is not so far off, either.
Joel Perry’s “Stealing Arthur” is dizzying, riotous, Byzantine in its plotting, rife with intersecting characters, and offers us a profoundly cynical view of Hollywood and the movie industry.
It’s hilarious.
Imagine the old film “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World” combined with “Pulp Fiction.” Imagine a gang of gay Mafiosi trying to rig the annual film institute awards (here renamed the Arthurs, mostly likely for reasons of avoiding lawsuits). Imagine a dozen Los Angeles gay boys of every shape and size, in every possible variation of psychological and emotional distress.
Quelle salade, indeed.
Although Perry’s madcap novel is truly an ensemble piece, in which every character matters, it seems to me that Guy Lanner is the moral core of the story. A refugee from an anti-gay indoctrination camp called Desert Springs, Guy lives in West Hollywood and is known to take in strays—damaged young men who have suffered at the hands of a homophobic society. Guy’s story is at the center of the epic shenanigans in “Stealing Arthur,” which pretends to be about the egotism and greed that is Hollywood, but which is really about the redemptive qualities of love, compassion, and friendship.
There are very good people in this tale; there are very bad people; there are bad people who are not as bad as they seem, and apparently good people who are not really so good. There are surprises aplenty, ranging from acts of startling violence to moments of spiritual revelation. And the chief delight in reading this novel is discovering who all these people are among the twists and turns of its lurid tapestry of interwoven plotlines.
I almost knocked off a star because there is not a single person in this book who isn’t messed up in some way. I know for a fact that there are plenty of gay men in Los Angeles who live pretty normal lives and have not been screwed over by their families or society.
But then again, who writes books about them? So I added the fifth star back on.
October 29, 2015
Probably not the best candidate to offer a review of “Stealing Arthur,” by Joel Perry, but, hell, I’ll give it a try. My credentials in this area are lacking. This area? Well, Mister Perry has written a book about the motion picture industry, specifically honing in on the Oscars—called Arthurs in the book—and the unfortunate loss of fifty-five of the statuettes not long before they were to be handed out to the predetermined recipients.
I am, I believe, genetically gay (giving credence to some nurturing event that brought those genes to the forefront of my existence), but I didn’t get that little spec of primordial ooze that would, like most other gay men, provide me with an appreciation for, no, an obsession with motion pictures, actors, and the annual schmaltzy event known as The Oscars. Indeed, an early excerpt in Mister Perry’s book sees two gay fellows discussing the loss of the Arthur statuettes:
“Oh, my God, it’s only the biggest story ever,” huffed Sparks as Guy came over with a fistful of prosciutto sticks. “Several boxes of Arthur awards were stolen off a loading dock today. It’s the biggest award theft since Marisa Tomei.”
Yes, I had to Google “Marisa Tomei.” She won the best supporting actress in a supporting role Oscar for “My Cousin Vinny,” in 1999. Most gay men probably know that. I didn’t. And, I still don’t care. I’ve never seen “My Cousin Vinny,” but, I did finish Mister Perry’s book.
This storytelling starts out as a kind of lighthearted Keystone Cops adventure against the backdrop of the missing Arthurs, and the inimitable gayness of West Hollywood, as well as glimpses into the seedier parts of Hollywood (or what were the seedier parts when I lived there) north of Fountain, and east of La Brea. (Long ago, I caroused in Hollywood, notably The Hollywood Spa, just off Hollywood Boulevard on Ivar, an establishment mentioned a few times by Mister Perry.) With three of the missing fifty-five Arthurs in circulation, thanks to a fortuitous finding by a homeless boy pushing a grocery cart, a cast of characters is introduced—the cast so large that, at times, I lost track of who was who—many of whom are centered by Guy, an older fellow with love handles who sells movie memorabilia on e-Bay for a living. Guy also opens his small home up to wayward boys seeking the meaning of life—their emotional struggles are mostly about relationships, alcohol, mental quirks from bad parenting, etc. One memorable event in the life and times of the Guy household, is the discovery of one of Madonna’s pubic hairs by one of Guy’s boys, which Guy duly posts on e-Bay where it garners enormous interest until the e-Bay police declare the item cannot be authenticated.
We meet a lot of folks in the storytelling, including officials of the PrattswaterfordDouglas accounting firm responsible for overseeing the balloting for the Arthur Awards; a gay porn superstar; Italian mafia goons who happen to be gay; undertakers; an aged, bitter starlet who should have gotten an Arthur years ago—or such is the conclusion of the gay boys; Madonna’s Assistant’s Assistant’s Assistant; iconic gay porn director Cha-Cha LaBouche; a barebones filmmaker shooting something akin to Parsifal; graduates of gay-to-straight camp; and on and on they come, each fitting their particular niche in the storytelling.
A moment, though, for Parsifal. Richard Wagner’s opera tells the story of medieval knights guarding two sacred Christian relics: the Holy Grail and the Holy spear that pierced Jesus on the cross. The knights’ leader, Amfortas, decides to attack a sorcerer’s den armed with the spear. The sorcerer, Klingsor, who had castrated himself after being rejected by the knights’ order, has his servant, Kundry, seduce Amfortas, thus giving him, Klingsor, the opportunity to steal the spear and stab Amfortas. And, Amfortas can only be saved by a man whose wisdom comes from his sense of compassion. Enter Parsifal, an unlikely savior, a loser really, who sees the wounded Amfortas unveiling the Holy Grail and is therefore infused with determination to save the day, win back the spear and save the knight’s order.
This blip about Parsifal may, just may be relevant in explaining the play within the play—“The play’s the thing…” donja know—that Mister Pool has given us.
“Stealing Arthur” begins, as I said, lightheartedly, where camp, and stereotypes, and clichés abound with impunity. And, for the most part, it continues that way. But nestled within it are glimpses of more serious matters—murders, HIV, greed, mental illness, alcoholism. So too, as each of the characters enter and exit, all in some way involved with the stolen Arthurs, there are revelations of compassion, understanding, love, and finally, yes, maybe even the meaning of life is revealed. Or, more precisely, maybe even the meaning of the lives of the West Hollywood boys who traipse this storytelling is revealed. Or, even more precisely, maybe the revelation is what life should mean to the West Hollywood boys.
I am, I believe, genetically gay (giving credence to some nurturing event that brought those genes to the forefront of my existence), but I didn’t get that little spec of primordial ooze that would, like most other gay men, provide me with an appreciation for, no, an obsession with motion pictures, actors, and the annual schmaltzy event known as The Oscars. Indeed, an early excerpt in Mister Perry’s book sees two gay fellows discussing the loss of the Arthur statuettes:
“Oh, my God, it’s only the biggest story ever,” huffed Sparks as Guy came over with a fistful of prosciutto sticks. “Several boxes of Arthur awards were stolen off a loading dock today. It’s the biggest award theft since Marisa Tomei.”
Yes, I had to Google “Marisa Tomei.” She won the best supporting actress in a supporting role Oscar for “My Cousin Vinny,” in 1999. Most gay men probably know that. I didn’t. And, I still don’t care. I’ve never seen “My Cousin Vinny,” but, I did finish Mister Perry’s book.
This storytelling starts out as a kind of lighthearted Keystone Cops adventure against the backdrop of the missing Arthurs, and the inimitable gayness of West Hollywood, as well as glimpses into the seedier parts of Hollywood (or what were the seedier parts when I lived there) north of Fountain, and east of La Brea. (Long ago, I caroused in Hollywood, notably The Hollywood Spa, just off Hollywood Boulevard on Ivar, an establishment mentioned a few times by Mister Perry.) With three of the missing fifty-five Arthurs in circulation, thanks to a fortuitous finding by a homeless boy pushing a grocery cart, a cast of characters is introduced—the cast so large that, at times, I lost track of who was who—many of whom are centered by Guy, an older fellow with love handles who sells movie memorabilia on e-Bay for a living. Guy also opens his small home up to wayward boys seeking the meaning of life—their emotional struggles are mostly about relationships, alcohol, mental quirks from bad parenting, etc. One memorable event in the life and times of the Guy household, is the discovery of one of Madonna’s pubic hairs by one of Guy’s boys, which Guy duly posts on e-Bay where it garners enormous interest until the e-Bay police declare the item cannot be authenticated.
We meet a lot of folks in the storytelling, including officials of the PrattswaterfordDouglas accounting firm responsible for overseeing the balloting for the Arthur Awards; a gay porn superstar; Italian mafia goons who happen to be gay; undertakers; an aged, bitter starlet who should have gotten an Arthur years ago—or such is the conclusion of the gay boys; Madonna’s Assistant’s Assistant’s Assistant; iconic gay porn director Cha-Cha LaBouche; a barebones filmmaker shooting something akin to Parsifal; graduates of gay-to-straight camp; and on and on they come, each fitting their particular niche in the storytelling.
A moment, though, for Parsifal. Richard Wagner’s opera tells the story of medieval knights guarding two sacred Christian relics: the Holy Grail and the Holy spear that pierced Jesus on the cross. The knights’ leader, Amfortas, decides to attack a sorcerer’s den armed with the spear. The sorcerer, Klingsor, who had castrated himself after being rejected by the knights’ order, has his servant, Kundry, seduce Amfortas, thus giving him, Klingsor, the opportunity to steal the spear and stab Amfortas. And, Amfortas can only be saved by a man whose wisdom comes from his sense of compassion. Enter Parsifal, an unlikely savior, a loser really, who sees the wounded Amfortas unveiling the Holy Grail and is therefore infused with determination to save the day, win back the spear and save the knight’s order.
This blip about Parsifal may, just may be relevant in explaining the play within the play—“The play’s the thing…” donja know—that Mister Pool has given us.
“Stealing Arthur” begins, as I said, lightheartedly, where camp, and stereotypes, and clichés abound with impunity. And, for the most part, it continues that way. But nestled within it are glimpses of more serious matters—murders, HIV, greed, mental illness, alcoholism. So too, as each of the characters enter and exit, all in some way involved with the stolen Arthurs, there are revelations of compassion, understanding, love, and finally, yes, maybe even the meaning of life is revealed. Or, more precisely, maybe even the meaning of the lives of the West Hollywood boys who traipse this storytelling is revealed. Or, even more precisely, maybe the revelation is what life should mean to the West Hollywood boys.
August 4, 2019
Sort of a gay romp, tons of intertwining characters and plots...With some pretty heavy themes thrown in. Worth a read.
February 5, 2016
Funny satire of the life of movie obsessed West Hollywood. Dialogue is terrific. Very stereotypical presentation of gay characters. Kept thinking it would be a funny play or movie with less characters.
December 16, 2015
Stealing Arthur by Joel Perry: http://reviews-and-ramblings.dreamwid... 2015 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention (5* from at least 1 judge)
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews