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Diddly Squat #5
Diddly Squat: The Farmer's Dog
Not yet published
Expected 3 Mar 26Uncooperative animals, underperforming crops, and rather less than best-laid plans pursued with unbridled enthusiasm. Clarkson’s farm is the gift that keeps on giving.
But, as one overseas visitor* admitted, he only came to Diddly Squat because he just didn’t believe that Jeremy could be so incompetent.
Not one to be discouraged, however, our hero decides to bring his misunderstood entrepreneurial flair to bear on a new a pub. And just a few short weeks later, the doors open on The Farmer’s Dog.
All British produce, Hawkstone beer on tap, a private bar for farmers and a vintage tractor hanging from the ceiling. The perfect country pub. A welcome distraction from sustainable farming initiatives, psychedelic wheat, angry protests in central London and a headbutting goat.
What, you may be asking, could possibly go wrong?
On top of the lavatories packing up and the electricity running out, you mean? As the Cotwolds’ newest publican quickly discovers, there’s a lot more to landlording than pulling pints.
Just as well, then, that he still has Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald to help him through. Especially now his doctor’s told him he’s got to become a vegetablist …
*along with the whole of the rest of China, apparently
___________
224 pages, Paperback
First published October 23, 2025
150 people are currently reading
1663 people want to read
About the author
Jeremy Clarkson
62 books1,106 followersJeremy Charles Robert Clarkson (born April 11, 1960) is an English broadcaster and writer who specialises in motoring.
He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.
From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.
He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.
From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
October 29, 2025
Another funny book from Jeremy. My only criticism is that it's far too short. I seem to finish it as soon as I'd begun. Thoroughly enjoyed this wanted more especially about the pub. Now. I've got to wait and see if there will be another one.
December 6, 2025
Another excellent instalment about life on Diddly Squat farm told, as always, in Jeremy’s witty, often sarcastic style, and with the occasional rant at idiocy thrown in. While there is a great deal of humour, it serves to highlight the high cost of farming – both emotionally and financially. Inheritance tax, Brexit, the weather all add to the struggle every farmer, large and small, faces in 2025.
And then there’s the pub. The unsustainable cost of farm to fork and keeping everything British raised and British bought. The blocked drains and the electricity failing on opening day. Even the travelling community broke in and set up camp in his car park. They did happily pay for the broken padlock and the clean up afterwards, though.
My only complaint is that the book is far too short, but at least Mr Wilman’s book is on my Kindle.
And then there’s the pub. The unsustainable cost of farm to fork and keeping everything British raised and British bought. The blocked drains and the electricity failing on opening day. Even the travelling community broke in and set up camp in his car park. They did happily pay for the broken padlock and the clean up afterwards, though.
My only complaint is that the book is far too short, but at least Mr Wilman’s book is on my Kindle.
January 6, 2026
Well, here we are again... another year, another Clarkson book leaving me a little underwhelmed. But, there is a small difference this time around; in amongst the usual bluster, noise and old-man 'humour', he actually has something to say. For that alone, I was actually anticipating the read of this year's offering and don't feel like I've been left completely disappointed.
Although Clarkson has never been shy about talking politics and stating his position, this is the first time in a while that it feels like he's coming out swinging for the current Government. With my "day job" hat on, I was particularly interested in his thoughts on the planned changes to Inheritance Tax on farms (Agricultural Property Relief and Business Property Relief, if you want the proper terms), and the fact that he has essentially found himself as an unofficial spokesman for the everyday working farmer on this issue whilst also being precisely the sort of person who the changes are aimed at snaring in the tax net. I was actually expecting a little more content on this issue, but I'm surprising happy that it is limited, because it makes what he does say so much more powerful. His frustration is evident from tone of the articles, but there is a genuine sense that it's not necessarily for himself, but those other farming families he knows that have been doing the job for generations. If you think that the changes are only going to affect the wealthy who buy land for tax breaks, or don't get what the problem is, Clarkson manages to spell it out for anyone to understand. Whether you're a fan of his or not, agree with his politics or not, it's worth putting your personal thoughts of him as a person to one side and reading what he has to say.
Equally, there are a couple of moments in this edition that read like he's finally starting to pull away from the 'orangutan' character he's become known as, at least a little. Yes, there are visceral moments of clear disdain for certain politicians, and some phrasing of thoughts that will still make you wince, but there are also glimpses of someone who mught be a tad more open-minded that he'd have you believe.
This year, of course, he has a pub as well as the farm. He does casually address the issues of pub ownership, but it doesn't quite seem to have sunk into his bones the way farming does and so that element does come across as more self-centred - it doesn’t seem that he'll be 'riding at dawn' for his fellow struggling landlords in the same way he is for his fellow struggling farmers, which is a shame. He is seemingly content to use it as a showcase for British produce, which is great, but there isn't the same level of love and care in his tone that there is when he's talking about the farm.
Aside from that, it is very much business as usual. A slightly random mix of car reviews rolled up in farming anecdotes, meandering articles that may or may not have something to say, the gentle ribbing of Kaleb at opportune moments, several adeherences to repeated memes (😁) and attempts at comedy that don't quite hit the mark. And many a blank page. Again.
Although Clarkson has never been shy about talking politics and stating his position, this is the first time in a while that it feels like he's coming out swinging for the current Government. With my "day job" hat on, I was particularly interested in his thoughts on the planned changes to Inheritance Tax on farms (Agricultural Property Relief and Business Property Relief, if you want the proper terms), and the fact that he has essentially found himself as an unofficial spokesman for the everyday working farmer on this issue whilst also being precisely the sort of person who the changes are aimed at snaring in the tax net. I was actually expecting a little more content on this issue, but I'm surprising happy that it is limited, because it makes what he does say so much more powerful. His frustration is evident from tone of the articles, but there is a genuine sense that it's not necessarily for himself, but those other farming families he knows that have been doing the job for generations. If you think that the changes are only going to affect the wealthy who buy land for tax breaks, or don't get what the problem is, Clarkson manages to spell it out for anyone to understand. Whether you're a fan of his or not, agree with his politics or not, it's worth putting your personal thoughts of him as a person to one side and reading what he has to say.
Equally, there are a couple of moments in this edition that read like he's finally starting to pull away from the 'orangutan' character he's become known as, at least a little. Yes, there are visceral moments of clear disdain for certain politicians, and some phrasing of thoughts that will still make you wince, but there are also glimpses of someone who mught be a tad more open-minded that he'd have you believe.
This year, of course, he has a pub as well as the farm. He does casually address the issues of pub ownership, but it doesn't quite seem to have sunk into his bones the way farming does and so that element does come across as more self-centred - it doesn’t seem that he'll be 'riding at dawn' for his fellow struggling landlords in the same way he is for his fellow struggling farmers, which is a shame. He is seemingly content to use it as a showcase for British produce, which is great, but there isn't the same level of love and care in his tone that there is when he's talking about the farm.
Aside from that, it is very much business as usual. A slightly random mix of car reviews rolled up in farming anecdotes, meandering articles that may or may not have something to say, the gentle ribbing of Kaleb at opportune moments, several adeherences to repeated memes (😁) and attempts at comedy that don't quite hit the mark. And many a blank page. Again.
January 3, 2026
Really enjoyed this! Especially after visiting the pub a few weeks ago!
January 1, 2026
As per tradition, I use the first day of the year to always read a Clarkson book. I love the Diddly Squat series and was really lucky this year to go to The Farmer’s Dog. Lots of chuckles- thanks, Clarkson.
October 27, 2025
I always get these books when they come out. I've watched Clarksons farm since the first episode. This book however was bitter sweet. For some reason this one felt special in a way none of the others have. It felt like I had a connection with my now, unfortunately, dead mother. I think because I brought a copy of each one for her and this is the first one I didn't have to do that.
I enjoyed reading Mr Clarkson's opinions on politics and having more areas to research myself about farming and how it's currently being effected. This book does get u thinking while you're having a laugh.
I enjoyed reading Mr Clarkson's opinions on politics and having more areas to research myself about farming and how it's currently being effected. This book does get u thinking while you're having a laugh.
January 11, 2026
A funny, warm read with Clarkson’s familiar charm. The focus on The Farmer’s Dog pub adds a great real-life touch, full of character, mishaps, and heart. It meanders a bit in places, but overall it’s entertaining.
December 28, 2025
Could have done with some more farming stories.
January 13, 2026
Enjoyable, but I didn’t realise it’s just a collection of his Sunday Times weekly columns.
October 31, 2025
You can tell how passionate Jeremy Clarkson is about the farming community. This book is like a supportive note to all of those struggling farmers across the UK in trying times. I’ve got each of these books as soon as they’ve come out and I’m never disappointed.
My only criticism is that the books never feel long enough. They’re so funny and quite enlightening, but I always wish there was more. It feels like these books are delving deeper and deeper into the plight of farmers, the more of them that are released. Jeremy is in a privileged position in that he has other income streams, as he acknowledges, but others aren’t so lucky and are really struggling financially.
I spend time looking at the illustrations as they’re very well done and quite entertaining. Jeremy’s constant attempts to try new things, and the mistakes and complaints that he has really comes out in the introductory illustration to each chapter. The chapter titles also make me giggle.
Some people have problems with Jeremy Clarkson which is understandable, but I do admire the way he’s taken over his farm and is trying to stand up and speak out for the plight of the farmers. There are lots of politics comments throughout, as Clarkson very obviously has problems with Keir Starmer and his government, and their treatment of land and people. But Clarkson speaks out and maybe his voice can make a difference.
My only criticism is that the books never feel long enough. They’re so funny and quite enlightening, but I always wish there was more. It feels like these books are delving deeper and deeper into the plight of farmers, the more of them that are released. Jeremy is in a privileged position in that he has other income streams, as he acknowledges, but others aren’t so lucky and are really struggling financially.
I spend time looking at the illustrations as they’re very well done and quite entertaining. Jeremy’s constant attempts to try new things, and the mistakes and complaints that he has really comes out in the introductory illustration to each chapter. The chapter titles also make me giggle.
Some people have problems with Jeremy Clarkson which is understandable, but I do admire the way he’s taken over his farm and is trying to stand up and speak out for the plight of the farmers. There are lots of politics comments throughout, as Clarkson very obviously has problems with Keir Starmer and his government, and their treatment of land and people. But Clarkson speaks out and maybe his voice can make a difference.
November 6, 2025
Another solid read. I do wish they would include all of his columns as there was only 20 or so when there must be one a week, but hey ho. Still fun and funny and a brilliant look into farming.
November 3, 2025
Excellent book to go with an Excellent series
November 25, 2025
I buy Jeremy’s book every year. It’s very very quick to read and always funny. You’re best waiting until the book is on offer as there’s about as much content as a comic so dont pay full price.
January 2, 2026
A Witty, if Politically Tinged, Ramble from the Diddly Squat Pub
Diddly Squat: The Farmer’s Dog (named for Jeremy Clarkson’s recently opened pub) collects another year of his weekly newspaper columns. As always, his wit and superb use of hyperbole make for entertaining reading. His talent as a humorist is undeniable.
However, fans hoping for deep dives into farm life or the pub venture may find the focus has drifted. This volume feels heavier on politics and broader world events than on agricultural antics. This is understandable given a tumultuous year for farmers and the column format, but it does mean the titular farm (and dog) sometimes feel like a distant backdrop.
Clarkson’s opinions are forthright and frequently contradictory. He is as complex as the rest of us, which is part of his relatable charm, even when the rants become repetitive. His greatest strength remains raising awareness. Much like his hit show, Clarkson’s Farm, his writing highlights the realities of farming with remarkable impact. I don’t always agree with him, but I commend his passion.
For fans of the show, this is a quick, enjoyable read that provides context for the past year’s headlines and hints at what may fuel the next season. Just be prepared for more commentary on Westminster than stories about Wheatley this time around.
Diddly Squat: The Farmer’s Dog (named for Jeremy Clarkson’s recently opened pub) collects another year of his weekly newspaper columns. As always, his wit and superb use of hyperbole make for entertaining reading. His talent as a humorist is undeniable.
However, fans hoping for deep dives into farm life or the pub venture may find the focus has drifted. This volume feels heavier on politics and broader world events than on agricultural antics. This is understandable given a tumultuous year for farmers and the column format, but it does mean the titular farm (and dog) sometimes feel like a distant backdrop.
Clarkson’s opinions are forthright and frequently contradictory. He is as complex as the rest of us, which is part of his relatable charm, even when the rants become repetitive. His greatest strength remains raising awareness. Much like his hit show, Clarkson’s Farm, his writing highlights the realities of farming with remarkable impact. I don’t always agree with him, but I commend his passion.
For fans of the show, this is a quick, enjoyable read that provides context for the past year’s headlines and hints at what may fuel the next season. Just be prepared for more commentary on Westminster than stories about Wheatley this time around.
January 11, 2026
Was hard to decide how I felt about this one. When I finished it, the piece/column/chapter that I remembered best was the one about JC’s near-death and experience. He went into such vivid detail that I got clammy hands from reading. Flipping back through the book, I realize that the breadth of subjects was quite vast. There were animals behaving badly, the unprofitable pub business, Kaleb’s ignorance about world affairs, Land Rovers, psychedelic wheat (ergot), inheritance tax on farmland, Easycare sheep, JC’s love of cow milk, the horrors of travel post-Brexit, the world’s first floating farm, an incident involving the travelling community, spring cleaning on the farm, JC’s newfound passion for cow midwifery, media mischief, swifts, robot farmers, the true number of seasons (not 4)…That’s quite a lot of stuff packed into what many have complained is a short book. I really don’t mind the length. It’s just that - aside from the clammy hand-inducing story - the rest didn’t leave a strong impression. I still love JC’s way with words though, and will probably snap up the next book when it’s out.
December 30, 2025
I like Jeremy Clarkson. I don't always agree with him but he does make some interesting points and is entertaining along the way. This was an enjoyable book that was a Christmas gift and since we haven't got to new year yet you can guess that its not exactly war and peace. the text is quite large and there seems a large number of pages full of adverts at the back. Having said that, I did enjoy his farming insights and his political rantings and am sure I will read next year's clarkson offering when it hits the shops for Christmas 2026.
November 11, 2025
Oh how I love it when I discover a new Diddly Squat book has been released. This is another great one, full of Jeremy's usual addictive humour and the latest disasters at the farm and now the pub too. As always, it's too short due to the filler pages between each chapter, but if I didn't expect that now on the fifth installment then Einstein's definition of insanity would spring to mind. Can't wait for the next one.
December 29, 2025
Another great Diddly Squat book,humour,interesting facts and emotional stories. Jeremy talks a lot of sense about farming,business,Brexit and the state of the Uk under the current government. I laughed out loud at the last line but it’s also heartbreakingly true. I love the illustrations. Can’t wait for the next series and the next book.
January 2, 2026
These really are a very quick read, but enjoyable. Whoever is voting for our government to save our country should take a look in here and see how our British farmed produce are being truly treated. Clarkson as always is truthful and honest. cant fault him for highlighting the impact the government is having on the farming industries.
January 12, 2026
A witty short compilation of Jeremy's writings. I had no idea that I would approach so many topics in one book: farming, automotive, environment, and politics - all the things you can think of when you think of Jeremy Clarkson. Informative, laugh-out-loud moments, and a 'reality hits you' type of read.
January 16, 2026
I usually watch the show then read the book, which wasn’t an option this time since the season hasn’t aired. I don’t know if this was why I didn’t enjoy it as much, or because it kept mentioning all these British politicians and name dropping the whole time and I have no idea who any of these people are.
January 15, 2026
Very much enjoyed Clarkson's Farmer's Dog. Initially I expected it to have more of a focus on opening up the pub and the challenges he faced, but I didn't mind so much the move to the odd car review and his thoughts on the Labour govt's move on farmers inheritance tax. Always enjoy reading Clarkson's books between Christmas and new year, they are a nice easy bridge.
December 5, 2025
I absolutely love Jeremy and his writing style. I have enjoyed every book thoroughly. However, now I feel theyre just too short. The drawings, however lovely and scene-setting, really do take up the bulk of the book and I wish there was more to read.
December 23, 2025
The most recent entry in the Diddly Squat series has about two chapters dedicated to its title. The rest is Jeremy's opinions on Keir Starmer, the weather and some new Land Rovers.
And it works.
Because its Clarkson.
And it works.
Because its Clarkson.
December 29, 2025
I love zooming through the diddly squat books! Although they have become more political than farming I still enjoy learning the ways of Jeremy Clarkson who I find very controversial but also very funny. I particularly like his chapter call the midwife for obvious reasons!
January 2, 2026
Clarkson is the link between us city dwellers and the countryside that we never knew we needed. His lack of but growing appreciation of his new world has taken us all on a journey of greater understanding and respect for the farming community. His witty observations entertain and inform.
November 14, 2025
Another throughly good read. Witty with a degree of sarcasm and a lot of common sense. Excellent bedtime reading!
November 16, 2025
I thought some of these chapters feel a bit same-y but i guess it’s all relevant things happening: tax on farmers, immigration, environmental issues etc.
still an enjoyable and quick read
still an enjoyable and quick read
November 17, 2025
I don't agree with everything he writes but he has a way with words and his seemingly genuine affection for farming is infectious
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews