Just one moment of weakness seven years ago—and she lost her job, her church, her only friend. Now she's working nights at a gas station to scrape together a living and a way to care for her sister, completely alone and separated even from the art that gave her life meaning.
Ryan Bell has never forgotten his first obsession.
He's been trying to find the tremblingly shy lecturer from his senior year of college after she abruptly disappeared after their first and only kiss. So when he comes upon a statue of Lucifer carved in Ryan's own likeness, two things become starkly apparent.
One: he knows how to find her now. And two: he's been haunting Birdie Cooper's memory as much as she's been haunting his.
Ryan can't offer love—or even an apology—but he can offer her a bargain, one crafted first and foremost to free him from his punishing obsession with her. If Birdie agrees to be his in every way for a single year, then he'll pay for her mother's care for as long as she's alive. And what does Birdie have left to lose anyway? The forbidden fruit is her only chance at salvation.
Unfortunately for Birdie, she might just be the only chance for his...
After making a mistake with the devil, it would be a bad idea to make a deal. Oops.
Tropes: – Dark romance – Older woman/younger man – Forced proximity – Dubious consent – Boy obsessed – It's always been you – Second chance(ish)
This book was the easiest five stars of my life. It is absolutely sensational, unbelievably exhilarating and utterly delectable. This is Sierra Simone at her finest—the absolute pinnacle.
Ryan Bell, you are the worst thing and the best thing.
I’m definitely going to hell, but only if Ryan Bell is there waiting for me.
At one point, I think I nearly fainted reading this book, because I forgot to breathe. I’m still shaking. Who needs oxygen anyway, it’s for lightweights.
I once promised Sierra Simone that I would give her my next born child in return for her writing something I wanted - it was in the days of New Camelot, when she was hurting my beautiful Embry. My baby days are over, but I was thinking maybe I could offer up a grandchild; I haven’t got any yet, but I was quite prepared to put the offer in writing at one particular part in the book, but then she gave me just what I wanted without having to sacrifice a child. I clapped joyfully and cheered so loud that I think she could have heard me all the way across the Atlantic Ocean. That scene is why I think I might be consigned to hell. Don’t care though #worthit.
I’m forever in awe of the mastery of her writing. I didn’t just love Ryan Bell and Birdie Cooper, I worshipped them.
PS Please can we have a bonus chapter on what happened in London? I might re-offer that grandchild.
What to expect: *Artist FMC x OBSESSED MMC *Reverse age gap *Religious guilt & trauma
Safety: Mentions of suicidal thoughts. Loss of parents. No OW/OM drama. Slight third act separation.
Review: No one writes a book based on religious trauma better than Sierra Simone!
Birdie has been suffering her entire life, one event after another leaves her feeling like she will never be enough for this world. Little does she know that an obsessed devil is about to change her entire world. Read the trigger warnings, this book gets dark for Birdie. Take care of your mental health.
Ryan Bell sees Birdie one time at an art event and becomes obsessed!! He follows her, has her for a brief encounter, loses her for seven years, and does everything he can to find and keep her forever. Obsession has never been so hot!! Believe him when he says that he is the Devil, and he is there to take what belongs to him.
All of the Bell brothers make appearances throughout this book. It is nice to have closure for each of the couples.
“who do you think you are?” “i’m the rest of your life.”
i knew i was in for a ride when i read those lines (and the warnings), and it was exactly everything i wanted. and more. i was in a year long reading slump and this book just kick started my love for reading again. ryan bell is exactly who he thinks he is.
“Is it not enough to try to love as God loves us? With a love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes and endures all things? That must be enough for him, surely.”
This quote feels fitting for Pride month but my god there are so many I could choose. Quotes about mental health. Quotes about our broken safety net system. Sexy quotes. Sad quotes. Quotes that made me light headed.
I swear I say this after every Sierra Simone book, but seriously this time: this book has rewired my entire being.
The warnings in the author’s note were that he’s an unapologetically bad man, but I don’t think someone who doggedly tries to improve the lives of random strangers just because he thought of it can be called a bad man. If he’s bad, I don’t want good men. (But seriously, read the content warnings)
I am going to need 7-10 business days to fully recover and gather my thoughts but absolute perfection, 6 stars, broke the scale.
*thank you Sierra Simone and Bloom Books for the e-ARC*
Receieved an e-arc from netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
4.5 stars.
I soooooo very badly wanted to give this 5 stars, and it was so very close.
I want to prefice this before I go any further: This was such an emotional ride. I LOVED the content warnings and the way Sierra Simone addressed the topics she tackles in this book. I have never read a book of hers before but found her writing and messages to be so intriguing and beautiful.
This book is DARK. She means it. It touches on religion, grief, anxiety, loneliness, depression, and then GUILT. Religious guilt especially! But Sierra does it with such a true understanding to christianity and its lore and messaging that I think it's done so well. And she places her message of what she wanted to tell with this story explicitly for us at the end: that we can be selfish.
It is not just romance and spice. And, well, while that's also done incredibly well, my main praise stems from the tone and messaging of Birdie and Ryan. Birdie, especially, just needs a freaking hug. Everytime you think it can't get worse for her and then it DOES. She symbolizes so much of what is wrong with christianity (I am allowed to say that, I grew up in the church the same way Birdie did), and how much they have harmed her. She stands by the idea that suffering is what it means to be a good christian. And Ryan tells her: fuck that.
Their love story is so beautiful because of this. It's not so much "come with me over to the dark side", because at the end Birdie and Ryan are still "good" people, but people who do not let others, in the name of religious piety, walk all over them anymore. Her growth was phenomal to read.
The only reason why I couldnt give it 5 stars is because I am a picky mofo. I loved the spice, but felt it was a bit too much at times. I was like, yes, thanks for the steam, but let me cry just a lil more.
Easy 5 stars. 6 stars? 10? Incredible, magnificent, transcendent writing from Sierra Simone. She has yet to write something I don’t like. This was one of my most anticipated reads of the year (might take top spot) and boy it did not disappoint. Something about her writing is so lyrical and engaging that I’m always sucked in and addicted immediately to the story and the characters. The language she uses is phenomenal, and adds an inherent beauty to the characters and the plot line that just elevates the story.
Sweet, timid Birdie is the pinnacle of innocence and naivety and Ryan is truly the devil incarnate. He’s possessive and greedy and a stalker, and lovable all the same. He’s a beautiful demon, and is completely besotted with Birdie and brings her out of her shell. It’s such a wondrous thing being so in love and so terrified of someone at the same time, but leave it to Sierra to make that happen. I firmly believe he has some light deep within him, and it takes a good writer to make that light shine through the hard, cold exterior. He wears his heart on the outside, in the form of Birdie.
This is definitely a slightly different vibe than Sierra’s other books in the Priest series. There are some heavy themes centering around trauma, mental health, and abuse, but it is far from a depressing vibe, and beautifully written. Thank you also to Sierra for including social anxiety rep as such a big part of Birdie’s story as it helps to normalize this experience so many people (myself included) deal with every day.
It took me longer to read this one since I forced myself to savor it and not binge it in one go, but it was worth it. God I just love her stories so much and will never stop recommending them to anyone who will listen. I’m not sure what drugs she puts in her books that make me so happy they just do. Go read them all.
Thank you thank you thank you Sierra & Team for sending me this early copy, I’m the happiest and luckiest girl to have received it. ❤️
**Protect your hearts dear people. Read those content warnings Sierra so carefully listed. xo**
When I'm on the verge of tears just reading through the author's note at the end, and serenely smiling as I finish the last words of the acknowledgements, I can wholeheartedly say this one is going to leave a permanent mark. Of course it was everything emotionally complete to be back in the world of the Bell family with those moments of sage advice and snarky brother banter and care woven into the larger story! And you must understand that one of my all-time favorite books is Saint. Devil is now right there next to it. Ryan Bell and Birdie Cooper are forever part of me now.
The obsession in this story is dark and tinglingly provocative. The heartbreak in this story is palpable. The loneliness in this story is a gnawing succubus that threatens to win throughout. And yet ... the love in this story is something I will be thinking about the longest. It is love so healing and so pure that it can't be anything but a guiding light of hope for those of us who have the privilege of experiencing it through Sierra's flawless writing and storytelling. C'est magnifique.
This was just absolutely fantastic. Definitely darker than the rest, but still so, so good. We're sucked into Birdie's life when she's teaching a semester of art. She doesn't really like speaking to large groups of people but the little she gets by with is enough to completely ensnare one of her students.
Ryan Bell is not a good man. This is especially true when he follows his professor, forces himself on her, and lets her take the blame when they get caught. Ruining all but her virtue, since he was stopped, she takes the fall and he disappears as she works to piece her life back together in shambles.
The dynamic between the two of them is a true give and take of their deepest and most depraved desires, and although she doesn't believe she can be wanted, Ryan Bell is determined to prove her wrong in every way he can. Birdie wants nothing more than to help her twin and carve, but all Bell wants is her.
I’m still processing. But I will say this - a lot of warnings that this is darker than usual, and Ryan isn’t a good dude…..and now that I’m done, I’m thinking not so bad??
I need to reflect on this. I’m not someone who gravitates to dark romance. I have read some, and the ones I have read are uncomfortably over the top. I typically avoid bully and stalker romances, because I can’t see how’s that’s romantic.
But the slow unraveling of Ryan’s obsession and Birdie’s martyrdom balance. Yes he is a stalker. Yes he did crime. It seems right somehow. And I think that is in large part to the way the time and attention is given to each’s thoughts and emotions. The writing is haunting and beautiful.
I also enjoy the continued lore of the Bell family. And I have to say, I would be a willing victim to the Bell brother charm offensive anytime.
Ryan Bell can’t forget about the shy girl, Birdie Cooper, he remembers from years ago but he knows he will see her again. Ryan is not like his brothers, he is not a hero hidden behind the bad, so be aware. When Birdie has to start fresh after an incident that left her with no job or place to go she just tries to survive while caring for her sister. That is until Ryan finds her again and offers her a deal, a deal with the Devil! This is best to go in semi blind but Please check all TWs as this contains scenes & topics that can be bothersome for some. Past and present tense let you see how they originally met seven years prior. This is not a traditional love story but it is their story of love. Taboo, D.C. and a religious undertone amongst many other topics all emerge in this dark and twisted romance. Told in first person and dual POV.
ARC review. ARC Read Book truth: Obsession, stalking is sexy ONLY when it happens in books. Of all the obsessed stalker books I’ve read, Tyler Bell is my choice for book boyfriend! He is the exact kind of obsessed, love-sick, ‘I will do literally anything for you’, man.
Birdie is going through it (heed the trigger warnings, this one hurts). I will do anything for her, too, Tyler, sign me up. She needs something, someone, and Tyler Bell has plans.
Birdie’s beginning narration of events reminds me very much of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein- gothic, waiting for a horror/monster, with lots of biblical/angel imagery.
There’s being catastrophically down bad and then there is whatever the hell Ryan Bell and Birdie Cooper have for each other.
This is not an easy read, it is painful, the loneliness is heartbreaking, the emotions it evokes are visceral and the warnings should be taken seriously.
Although this was a dual pov, I left the story not really knowing Ryan. His obsession, scheming, toxic thoughts and actual stalking were not fully developed but more described after the fact, would have been nice to see in action for his “badness” to feel real as he mostly came off as a white knight for a Birdie who was in desperate need of one.
I enjoyed this so much! Ryan‘s personality made so much sense for him.
Loved the reverse age gap and the role reversal that came with that. Both characters were so flawed in their own ways but I’m a big dark romance lover so Ryan Bell was a yes from me!
Birdie was a great FMC, she was so complex and I was able to really get into the mindset and understand why she felt the way she did. She was dealt a horrible hand in life and it was nice to see her development in coming out of her shell.
Ahhhhh. Ryan Bell. Birdie. Sierra Simone beautifully writes truly screwed characters who you just can’t help but love. I demolished this book once and then went back for a second time. The writing is top notch, the research deep and the story worth the time you take to read it.
Listen man ... it's giving Lana Del Rey's golden years ... it's giving fanatical Catholicism (but in a hot way) ... it's giving butt stuff .... it's giving "oh ho ho what a charming young ma—OH NO."
wow. and i mean that with all of my heart. sierra, you beautiful being, how did you make me fall in love with ryan bell. this book is spectacular and heartbreaking and perfect in every way.
Ugh I loved this series, sad to see it end but all the Bell brothers got their due. This was not a normal Sierra Simone book however it held all the necessary weight and more.