Dress Your Baby In Sage and Taupe: A Handbook for the Sad Beige Parent

by Hayley DeRoche

From Hayley DeRoche, the humorist who first coined the term “Sad Beige Mom,” a tongue-in-cheek illustrated guide to the neutral aesthetic sweeping nurseries everywhere.


Welcome to the wonderful world of beige parenting, where newborns are swaddled in soothingly sophisticated taupe muslin blankies and toddlers play only with wooden toys in shades ranging from oatmeal to sand. In Dress Your Baby in Sage and Taupe, Hayley DeRoche, the creator known online as @sadbeige, delivers a witty, illustrated satire of the perfectly monochromatic curated lifestyle embraced by modern parents. In a collection ranging from essays and quizzes to advice columns and poems, she takes aim at buzzy parenting trends such as feeding children artisanal baby superfoods or choosing obscure names for their kids like Tawny and Sorrel. This guide walks new parents through every step of the sad beige parenting journey, from decorating the nursery (take care to choose a suitably existential theme such as the Vastness of the Universe), all the way to the milestone that is the first birthday party (be sure to eschew plastic party favors in favor of hand-whittled wooden toys.) Along the way, she gently encourages new parents to realize that they are already the ideal caregiver for their unique little person, with or without the latest limited edition baby carrier or must-have sleep course. With custom illustrations by Julia Emiliani, this heartfelt blend of humor and social commentary is a breath of fresh air for both overwhelmed parents and those striving for Instagram perfection.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Parenting

144 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 21, 2026

About the author

Hayley DeRoche's work has been featured in McSweeney's, Audible and more; she is the creator of the viral "Sad Beige Werner Herzog" TikTok series, praised by the BBC as "skewering...very funny...hysterical" and by John Green as "incredible," in addition to being featured in The Washington Post's THE LIST, The Wall Street Journal, The Guardian, Yahoo! News, Mom.com, Today's Parent, and Hyperallergic, and others. She lives in Petersburg, Virginia.

Reviews

[Mai H.]

Non-fiction November TBR

📱 Thank you to NetGalley and Countryman Press

[Desi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Humor or not, this isn’t usually a title that would catch my eye. I have no intention of becoming a parent and very little interest in engaging with the parenting lifestyle. However, I really enjoyed Hayley’s TikToks, which is how I found out she was coming out with a book. It was pure curiosity that prompted me to add it to my TBR and I’m glad I did.
I’m sure your algorithm has dropped you off in the middle of some drama you have absolutely no connection to. Sometimes I’ll find myself going down a rabbit hole specifically when it comes to parentTok (or whatever that side of TikTok is called) because what do you mean there’s a discontinued fabric for a meh dai that resells for an absurd amount of money? There’s conventions??? For baby clothing and accessories??? The title of this book was specifically reminiscent of some scandal my entire fyp was caught up in awhile ago where a mom took her kid’s colorful toys and spray painted them more neutral colors to match her “aesthetic”. There was a whole discussion around if you should even be a parent if you can’t let your kid have colorful toys. If you would be willing to sacrifice your children’s safety for your boring aesthetic.
Anyway this book kind of gets into that. It discusses our fear of making our homes look lived in. We prefer to buy new stuff to make everything matchy-matchy rather than reaching out to our community to find what we need. But babies and kids don’t subscribe to aesthetic. They will choose Mr. Tiddlywinks, the unsettling clown doll, over Anemone, the calico stuffed bunny. We watch our author come to terms with this realization over the course of the book.
I really enjoyed all the different recurring segments. Dear Abyss, Notes From Your Algorithm, In Your Inbox, Mom Group Chat. I think my favorite, though, was the illustrated depictions of the kid’s room at the beginning of each chapter. You start to see the kid develop their own interests outside of the parent’s beige color palette for the original nursery. Julia Emiliani does a wonderful job with the illustrations.
Like I said earlier, I went into this book kind of blind. I wasn’t sure what to expect other than some jokes on overpriced baby accessories and the latest trend in not personalizing anything in your life. I would have been content just having a couple laughs, but sneaking in the heartwarming story and message in the background was a nice little surprise.
Dress Your Baby In Sage and Taupe is a funny, cute reminder that it’s okay to have personality outside of the latest thing. Society puts a lot of pressure on new parents. I imagine it’s an isolating and impressionable place to be in. Everyone wants the best for their kids, but the message of this book is that the #1 thing a child needs is a parent’s support to become whoever they become. I’ve already recommended this book to some new parents in my life. I hope it’s a nice reprieve from all the “real” parenting books they’ve been reading.

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of this title.

Extra thank you to my mom for letting me have that hideous hot pink carpet and neon green walls for my childhood bedroom. I’ll help you paint over it whenever you want 🩷💚

[Dallas Reeves · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’ve never heard of/followed this author on social media - I just came across the pictures on the front of this book of things I love and thought it might be fun to read another perspective, even though I was pretty sure it’s making fun of me.

Raise your hand if you feel personally victimized. 🙋🏻‍♀️ Just kidding. I’m not a “beige” mom - I hate the color beige, but I did get called out for my love of all things Montessori, simple wooden toys instead of plastic bullshit and loving an aesthetically pleasing clutter free home. Since I only have a 4 month old, i haven’t experienced raising a baby who turns into a child who has their own desires and personality shining, so I can imagine a lot of what she says in this book, will come into fruition. (I’m especially not looking forward to the red hot car bed).

While I don’t agree with everything she makes light of, it was an easy and relatable read. However, it wasn’t funny enough to be a book I’d buy for a soon to be mom and it didn’t have enough real advice to be something I’d recommend reading. I’m not really sure who this book will appeal to. Surely not the beige moms?

I also feel that, while she focuses on how beige moms only care about aesthetics, it misses the point of what a lot of those vibes stemmed from. Montessori in and of itself, is not about social media aesthetics, it’s a holistic approach that focuses on raising a child with simplicity, natural objects and hands on learning. Simple wooden toys are about less stimulation in a fast world to make room for more imagination in a child. Less passive entertainment and more engaged learning.

It’s easy to make fun of the beige moms, but I like the direction a lot of them have gone with less technology, more intention, more health and a focus on quality over quantity. Obviously I don’t think it should just be an aesthetic, but there is some good to be had from it. Maybe this book hit a little too close to home for me to find it funny, or maybe I just need to raise my baby and experience it myself to find the humor here.

Thank you to NetGalley and W. W. Norton & Company for this advanced early copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Tracy Herd · Rating 4 out of 5]

The ultimate guide to sad beige parenting. It walks you through the first few years of sad beige parenthood with thoughtful commentary on every aspect of sad beige life.
I discovered @officialsadbeige last year on my personal account with her haunting poetry and was hooked. I highly recommend everyone go and watch her videos over and over again.
The book was a funny walkthrough of early parenting years and how you may want to keep an aesthetic and how your child will absolutely want the opposite. Filled with several formats such as haikus, illustrations, marketing emails, group chat transcripts, messages from your algorithm plus much more.
I have 2 kids myself (6 and almost 4 years old) and I like that none of the content came across judgmental. While I didn’t want sad beige babies, I know what it’s like to see life and parenthood portrayed a certain way and want that for some inexplicable reason? I really liked the voice of the book and I really recommend adding this to your TBR!
The book would be great for any current or future parents. It comes out in April so please go preorder now!

#DressYourBabyInSageandTaupe #netgalley
Thanks to NetGalley, W W Norton & Company, and the author for the ARC!

[Miranda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Who hasn’t seen the Sad Beige Clothes for Sad Beige Children meme? I was excited to get the ARC of Dress Your Baby in Sage and Taupe, because I assumed that it would be a satire of a parenting book, full of laugh out loud moments. Unfortunately I was wrong--this is more serious of a parenting advice book than I expected. There’s the parody quizzes and advice columns sure, but there’s actual advice in there. This leaves the book in something of an unusual place--it's not quite as funny as I’d hope a satire book would be, and it’s a little thinner on the actual advice than I think a parent would actually want.

I also am woefully unqualified to review parenting advice books, as I do not have children, so that also leaves me, as a reviewer, in a bit of an odd spot. I can’t recommend this book to people who are simply amused observers of the sad beige mom phenomena, but I might purchase it as a gift for an expecting mother with the right sense of humor. This is more a gag gift than a reading experience.

I received an advance copy in exchange for this honest review.

[Laura KL · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was HILARIOUS! I couldn't stop cackling throughout. I feel so called out with the wooden toy cars I've bought, dreams of soft pastel forts & twinkling lights, and my linen cross-back apron. I feel simultaneously chastised and seen through her satirical, yet compassionate writing. She balances the humour of the beige millennial parent craze with the gentle encouragement of a parent who has been through the ringer and wants others to know they're not alone, that the love they give is all their child truly needs.

This book is perfect for anyone with a good sense of humour and parents who might be pulled in by the siren song of the all-knowing Algorithm, tempted to spend the money they don't have to feed the Capitalist machine. The sweet support and gentle hand-holding for parents is truly beautiful. with the last chapter giving me goosebumps and shivers.

I'm not a parent myself, but I would absolutely recommend this book for aunts, uncles, granparents, teachers...anyone with littles or mamas in their lives.

[Laura Partner · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a unique, hilarious book for new parents. I am not a brand new parent, but as I read through this book, memories flooded back about alllll the things I was thinking about during that time of my life.

This book is a fresh take on modern parenting that folds in the realities of parenting with all the influences of social media. Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don't cry lol this book helps support that! :)

I really loved:
- How each page felt fresh and surprising - this made me really excited to keep reading
- The quizzes and bingo card
- The graphics ... because well, I love pictures in books! Why don't more adult books have graphics?!
- There was so much heart baked into the jokes. My heart appreciated that - I felt seen and understood in many places.

I will definitely be adding this to all of my baby shower gifts in the future!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dress Your Baby In Sage and Taupe: A Handbook for the Sad Beige Parent is a witty, tongue-in-cheek parody of modern “aesthetic” parenting culture, especially the minimalist, neutral-toned world of social media-driven nursery design. Hayley DeRoche leans fully into the satire, poking fun at the overly curated, monochrome lifestyle that somehow extends even to babyhood. It’s quick, clever, and very self-aware in its humor.

What makes it work is how sharply it observes online trends while keeping the tone light rather than mean-spirited. The illustrations and writing style amplify the joke, making it feel like a spoof handbook you’d actually find on a carefully styled coffee table. It’s a fast, entertaining read that lands best if you’re familiar with (or mildly amused by) the “sad beige” aesthetic in the first place.

[Franny M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious and so well-written! I thought this would be like a picture book with a paragraph per picture, but it is clear the author put so much work and thought and humor into it. It’s truly a satirical self-help guide. I am not a mom and I don’t plan to become one. I don’t know any babies currently, and the babies I have met weren’t sage and taupe beige babies. Still, I absolutely loved this book. I bet it is even funnier if you do have kids!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

[Alicia Bayer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was surprisingly funny. A few hit a little close to home even though I don’t identify at all with the sad beige aesthetic. I am a nature mom so yes, I do know how to sift acorn flour (worse yet, I��ve written an entire book about acorn foraging and recipes) and yes, my toddlers knew how to forage wild mushrooms and had those wooden balance boards when they really wanted plastic happy meal toys. But it was all in good fun and parts had me literally snorting out loud (as close as I get to lol when reading). A fun read.

I read a temporary digital copy of this book via netgalley.

[Penelope Bloom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unfortunately, my baby’s name is Tawny, so I took this all as a personal attack. Just kidding. Although I hate plastic party favors for real. I adored this book. It was hilarious. I agree with the description that this is a humorous read that is also a social commentary. I think this is a delightful read for anyone with small kids but also probably a great gift for parents of young kids (in fact I may get a few copies for my own friends). I love a fun formatted book too, with bingo cards, lists,quizzes, etc.
Thank you to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for this ARC!

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great boom to give to new mom's if they have a sense of humor.
Great to read after your through the baby and toddler stage as you look back through the years and remember how intense it was and how really hard you tried to be a beige mom.
Poor little Bulldozer never had a stroller from Flotilla + Barge.

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny but a little repetitive.

Advanced Review Copy (ARC) was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Nicole Napolitano · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gets it, a baby shower gift staple!

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read it in one sitting, I loved it so much. Just the right amount of humor, heartfelt connection and pointing out exactly how the internet and companies prey on new parents

[Jenny Lawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Come for the funny satire...stay for the actual good advice.

[Gem · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really cute. Would be a great gift for new parents or parents-to-be. There are certain pros to the audiobook but I’m sure some sections are even better in the print book.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

UPDATE as of April 2026: I interviewed Hayley on my podcast, It's a Lot! We talked about how she learned to write funny, the importance of staying fresh and challenging yourself creatively, her experiences with fostering and adoption, parenting through grief, loving your kids for exactly who they are, and much more. You can listen to the conversation here (or wherever you get your podcasts!): https://itsalot.captivate.fm/episode/....

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Well gosh, this was surprisingly lovely. I've followed Hayley's content for a long time and thoroughly enjoyed it, so I was stoked to receive an ARC of her book! I knew it would be funny and expected it to be a light and quick read...which it was, until it got unexpectedly moving 🥹

There are some seriously silly lines in here and excellent turns of phrase that made me chuckle. I was entertained the whole way through. And then the reflections on how your kid is always going to be inherently, wholly themselves, no matter what aesthetic or interests you try to force on them really hit ❤️ Kids are amazing and weird and wonderful, and parents are lucky to get to raise these little humans. Hayley's reflections at the end about her own two kids, their different aesthetics and personalities, and how the quirks and storytelling styles and humor of her family show up in each of them despite their differences just made my heart full to hear.

This would make an amazing gift for a new parent, especially millennials who are tired of capitalism selling shit to us. This book was oddly comforting and I loved it.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advance copy!

[evie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a parent anytime soon, but I was a former baby! I requested this as I remember when the beige aesthetic took over mommy spaces, and I was absolutely fascinated. I didn’t realize how many named shades of beige there were, and this book helped me learn beige’s 100+ synonyms!

This was a fun, short read, and I loved the illustrations throughout the book and the final message. It was touching how the once beige drawings slowly gained color as you progressed through the book. The colorful bedroom filled me with so much joy lol. There were unique name brainstorming pages, advice for throwing non-flammable baby showers, and advice on which beige-colored Montessori toys were necessary to childhood development (will jot down for the future). The book mirrored the beige phenomenon I saw unfolding on social media, and I had a blast reading! The Freddy Fazbear mention made me do a double-take, haha.