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Autofiction
Rin is flying back from her honeymoon. She's madly in love with her husband. The future looks rosy.
Then he disappears to the bathroom and Rin imagines that he has gone to seduce the flight attendant. As her thoughts spiral out of control, the phrase 'madly in love' takes on a more sinister meaning.
Prizewinning author Hitomi Kanehara follows Rin's life backwards from this moment, as a picture of the dark core and violent past of this disturbed young woman gradually comes into focus.
Then he disappears to the bathroom and Rin imagines that he has gone to seduce the flight attendant. As her thoughts spiral out of control, the phrase 'madly in love' takes on a more sinister meaning.
Prizewinning author Hitomi Kanehara follows Rin's life backwards from this moment, as a picture of the dark core and violent past of this disturbed young woman gradually comes into focus.
224 pages, Paperback
First published July 5, 2006
35 people are currently reading
1915 people want to read
About the author
Hitomi Kanehara
31 books224 followersAfter dropping out of school and living on the streets for some years, Hitomi Kanehara started to write.
Her novels have won several prizes in Japan. The first novel Snakes and Earings won the Akutagawa Prize and the Subaru Prize and it sold a million copies.
Her novels have won several prizes in Japan. The first novel Snakes and Earings won the Akutagawa Prize and the Subaru Prize and it sold a million copies.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 119 reviews
August 19, 2017
I started zoning out about the time her vagina started talking to her.
August 16, 2010
I was reluctant to write a review for this book because I don't cherish the idea of writing negative things about people, be they writers, political leaders, or clergy.
But,
I thought it over and decided to write one anyway.
I'd advise you to stay far away from this book. It's a complete waste of time and money. I think I lost three hours and around 1,500 yen for it by the way. Without a doubt one of the worst books of fiction I've ever read, and possibly the worst Japanese novel translated into the English language since Murakami Ryu's first novel.
In my opinion, one word can sum up this story neatly and nicely: Juvenile.
Of course, if you are a teenage girl, suffering from a depression of some sort, desiring to bond with another troubled soul then by all means, but for the rest of you there is nothing redeeming contained within the two-hundred-or-so pages and little to be learned from the main character.
If I was prodded further, I'd add that the story was a bore; the writing less than literary, pretentious, and full of tedious repetition; and the protagonist impossible to like. The book was written in the first person, but I had no desire to get that close to the young woman, Rin, the main character of the novel. I don't know if the third person narrative would've helped any with this story, but it could've possibly earned the protagonist an ounce of sympathy. And since I didn't like her and couldn't connect with her in any way, it was nearly impossible to find anything worthwhile to praise.
If the above isn't bad enough, let me add the author really goes out of her way to be clever and witty, but fails miserably with each and every attempt, like any young woman without the neccessary writing skills would. I almost even began thinking that this was the prose of an American high schooler from the New York City suburbs. The story is too hackneyed and contrived and could've been written by anyone who was overfed with too much Hollywood junk.
I was tempted to just toss this book into the trash can, and with the least amount of energy required.
If after reading this warning you're still not completely dissuaded, let me provide one example that should do the trick, not that I have a vested interest in turning people off from books. I don't.
Somewhere in this gem, maybe in the second chapter, the young protagonist has a ridiculous dialogue with her cunt. You read that correctly - her cunt. While reading those few passages I honestly felt embarrassed for the author. I don't know about you, but I expected a bit more from an Akutagawa Prize winner - however not that much more, judging from her first novel, which was little more than popular entertainment for runaway girls and wanna-be tough guys.
I don't mean to sound like a didactic washed-out headmaster, but I think it's time for Kanehara to hit the books, and this time, learn the art of writing.
But,
I thought it over and decided to write one anyway.
I'd advise you to stay far away from this book. It's a complete waste of time and money. I think I lost three hours and around 1,500 yen for it by the way. Without a doubt one of the worst books of fiction I've ever read, and possibly the worst Japanese novel translated into the English language since Murakami Ryu's first novel.
In my opinion, one word can sum up this story neatly and nicely: Juvenile.
Of course, if you are a teenage girl, suffering from a depression of some sort, desiring to bond with another troubled soul then by all means, but for the rest of you there is nothing redeeming contained within the two-hundred-or-so pages and little to be learned from the main character.
If I was prodded further, I'd add that the story was a bore; the writing less than literary, pretentious, and full of tedious repetition; and the protagonist impossible to like. The book was written in the first person, but I had no desire to get that close to the young woman, Rin, the main character of the novel. I don't know if the third person narrative would've helped any with this story, but it could've possibly earned the protagonist an ounce of sympathy. And since I didn't like her and couldn't connect with her in any way, it was nearly impossible to find anything worthwhile to praise.
If the above isn't bad enough, let me add the author really goes out of her way to be clever and witty, but fails miserably with each and every attempt, like any young woman without the neccessary writing skills would. I almost even began thinking that this was the prose of an American high schooler from the New York City suburbs. The story is too hackneyed and contrived and could've been written by anyone who was overfed with too much Hollywood junk.
I was tempted to just toss this book into the trash can, and with the least amount of energy required.
If after reading this warning you're still not completely dissuaded, let me provide one example that should do the trick, not that I have a vested interest in turning people off from books. I don't.
Somewhere in this gem, maybe in the second chapter, the young protagonist has a ridiculous dialogue with her cunt. You read that correctly - her cunt. While reading those few passages I honestly felt embarrassed for the author. I don't know about you, but I expected a bit more from an Akutagawa Prize winner - however not that much more, judging from her first novel, which was little more than popular entertainment for runaway girls and wanna-be tough guys.
I don't mean to sound like a didactic washed-out headmaster, but I think it's time for Kanehara to hit the books, and this time, learn the art of writing.
September 2, 2011
If Ryū Murakami and Hitoomi Kanehara copulated and as a result a child came forth into this world I would probably lock myself in a closet or grow gills and swim to the deepest depths of the ocean. Out of the two I'd say Ryū is the most twisted, but I believe Hitoomi writes from experience and that kind of scares me more.
Autofiction is the story of Rin in four parts. It's written in reverse order so we can see why she became, um, was always, screwed up. She has this fascination with liars. It really pisses her off. But she's pretty good at it too. She likes sex, drugs, and scarring herself. And when she was young she saw severed heads everywhere. Normal kind of upbringing and life.
Here's a sample of her thoughts...
"... I went to a friend's house to play mah-jong and found a pubic hair stuck between the mah-jong blocks. I wonder how many thousands of pubic hairs a human being would have to swallow to die? Or would someone survive no matter how many they swallowed? Or maybe the pubic hair would get tangled up with the vital organs and cause some sort of internal event. It'd be such a ridiculous way to die. One of the many ways to die that I admire. So from now on, maybe I'll collect all the pubic hair I find on my futon."
And then...
"The habit of thinking strange things on purpose is something I feel I should do something about one of these days. But the idea of consciously controlling subconscious thoughts is ridiculous. If I did that, I'd probably lose what was good about me, too. So my intention to do something about it someday is probably a lie. I like the way I think these strange things."
I do too... I hope that Hitomi Kanehara controls her subconscious thoughts.
A bit of interesting information about the author... she quit school at the age of 11... I think this book may be a taste of the author's life. If it is... she tastes strangely good.
Autofiction is the story of Rin in four parts. It's written in reverse order so we can see why she became, um, was always, screwed up. She has this fascination with liars. It really pisses her off. But she's pretty good at it too. She likes sex, drugs, and scarring herself. And when she was young she saw severed heads everywhere. Normal kind of upbringing and life.
Here's a sample of her thoughts...
"... I went to a friend's house to play mah-jong and found a pubic hair stuck between the mah-jong blocks. I wonder how many thousands of pubic hairs a human being would have to swallow to die? Or would someone survive no matter how many they swallowed? Or maybe the pubic hair would get tangled up with the vital organs and cause some sort of internal event. It'd be such a ridiculous way to die. One of the many ways to die that I admire. So from now on, maybe I'll collect all the pubic hair I find on my futon."
And then...
"The habit of thinking strange things on purpose is something I feel I should do something about one of these days. But the idea of consciously controlling subconscious thoughts is ridiculous. If I did that, I'd probably lose what was good about me, too. So my intention to do something about it someday is probably a lie. I like the way I think these strange things."
I do too... I hope that Hitomi Kanehara controls her subconscious thoughts.
A bit of interesting information about the author... she quit school at the age of 11... I think this book may be a taste of the author's life. If it is... she tastes strangely good.
August 1, 2010
Boring inner monologue of an insane chick.
July 20, 2010
Big f***ing yawn ... I wasn't too enamoured by the translation (a little awkward-feeling somehow) and "Auto Fiction" is basically about a spoiled paranoid writer who has few redeeming qualities. Not great, at all.
July 4, 2011
i did not like this book - there were a few good passages - but overall i thought it tried too hard to shock and was a bit self obsessed
April 18, 2019
2.5 Stars!
“I want to die already. I’m doomed. I just want to die now. Can’t this plane fall out of the sky? Can’t the whole world just come to an end? If only I had nitroglycerin inside me. I wonder if I can overdose on sleeping pills. Then I remember I haven’t brought enough with me for that. Oh this really can’t get any worse.”
I am quite a fan of contemporary Japanese fiction, and the most notable example, Haruki Murakami remains one of my favourite authors. What I find with most of the Japanese writers I’ve read, is that a cold, dark menace always seems to hang in the air, a sense of trouble forever waits in the wings. With every turn of the page you tense up anticipating a sudden, violent flash of blade or cruel hands around some pale, fragile neck.
This book is no exception, straight from the opening pages we find ourselves in a bizarre situation involving a protagonist with some deeply chilling thoughts running through her head, so that from then on there is always a charge of tension in the air as you anticipate something nasty or violent, which you just know isn’t too far away.
Kanehara is not a name I am familiar with, but again like many of her native contemporaries she uses themes of sex, violence, isolation, fear and paranoia often making for uncomfortable reading, and this book is not so much about gritty realism as gritty surrealism. There were some really enjoyable scenes in here, but it was a little too chilly and fragmented for my tastes.
October 18, 2011
Hitomi Kanehara shot to fame in Japan with her debut novel, Snakes and Earrings, which won the prestigious Akutagawa prize while she was just 20 years old (she is, I suspect, a partial inspiration for Konoha Inoue in Mizuki Nomura's Book Girl series). That novel tells the tale of a delinquent young woman leading a hard-knock life on the streets of Tokyo. Since Kanehara herself is a high school drop-out who spent some time leading a hard-knock life, it was inevitable that people would view Snakes and Earrings as semi-autobiographical. Nevermind that the protagonist of that story engaged in body modification, giving herself a forked tongue at the end of the novel, and acted as an accessory-after-the-fact to murder.
So what does Kanehara do for a follow-up? Why write a book called "Autofiction" (i.e., autobiographical fiction) about a 20 something writer who shot to fame after writing a book that won a prestigious prize, etc. There's even a scene in which Rin, the protagonist, bitches to her editor about how all interviewers want to know how much of her first novel was autobiographical. If that's not recursive enough, said editor than asks her to write a book of autofiction, suggesting as a starting point a semi-fictionalized account of her honeymoon that she recently wrote -- which is in fact what we've just been reading!
Okay, so 10/10 for style, but what about substance? The book is really four short stories detailing Rin's relationships, starting in the present with her husband Shin and working backwards to her first boyfriend when she was 15. Each of these is extremely fucked up -- indeed, any relationship involving Rin will be fucked up as she is an extremely fucked up person. In the opening story, Rin's marriage starts falling apart entirely due to her paranoid jealousy. When we first meet her on the plane ride back from Tahiti, she's obsessing over whether a stewardess is flirting with Shin -- and when Shin gets up to use the bathroom, she begins to suspect that he's going off for a quickie. As they start their life together, Rin's obsessiveness increases when Shin insists he needs occasional me-time when he can lock himself in the den and do ... well, we never find out, which pisses Rin off to no end. She finds the idea that spouses need any privacy from each other incomprehensible.
But not all these failed relationships are Rin's fault. That Shah is going to be a bad boyfriend should be obvious from the fact that she meets him at an orgy. Okay, he was dragged along by a friend, as was she. But consider that this is the sort of orgy where any woman who shows up is expected to put out -- second thoughts are not allowed. Sure, Shah helps her get away, but then he returns to the party, which, let's remember, involves friends of his. You don't need to be Dr. Drew to know this relationship won't last.
But Shah's nothing compared to Gato, the guy Rin shacked up with when she was 16. Gato's the sort of guy who decides to spend his entire paycheck in pachinko parlors on the theory that if you put enough coins in the slots, you're bound to hit it big eventually. Even though pachinko isn't entirely random and can be gamed to some degree, anyone with the slightest knowledge of gambling -- and Gato works at a pachinko parlor -- should know that the house always wins in the end. The upshot is, Rin and Gato subsist on a diet of sugar, salt and coffee creamers.
Yes.
Really.
Rin and Gato even argue over the best mixture of salt and sugar (Rin prefers it 1:1 while Gato likes 2:1).
We never find out why Rin is such damaged goods, though we get some good clues in the last story, which details Rin's relationship with a college student when she was just 15.
As with Snakes and Earrings this book isn't for everyone. Kanehara is an extremely nihilistic writer, in the same league as Bret Easton Ellis -- but with one major difference: where Ellis' books are always filled with a sense that there's something wrong with the world he's describing, Kanehara's work is purely descriptive. This is the way the world is and here's what people do to survive in it. It is a bleak and depressing worldview that offers no escape except into your own mind -- which may not be an improvement over reality.
So what does Kanehara do for a follow-up? Why write a book called "Autofiction" (i.e., autobiographical fiction) about a 20 something writer who shot to fame after writing a book that won a prestigious prize, etc. There's even a scene in which Rin, the protagonist, bitches to her editor about how all interviewers want to know how much of her first novel was autobiographical. If that's not recursive enough, said editor than asks her to write a book of autofiction, suggesting as a starting point a semi-fictionalized account of her honeymoon that she recently wrote -- which is in fact what we've just been reading!
Okay, so 10/10 for style, but what about substance? The book is really four short stories detailing Rin's relationships, starting in the present with her husband Shin and working backwards to her first boyfriend when she was 15. Each of these is extremely fucked up -- indeed, any relationship involving Rin will be fucked up as she is an extremely fucked up person. In the opening story, Rin's marriage starts falling apart entirely due to her paranoid jealousy. When we first meet her on the plane ride back from Tahiti, she's obsessing over whether a stewardess is flirting with Shin -- and when Shin gets up to use the bathroom, she begins to suspect that he's going off for a quickie. As they start their life together, Rin's obsessiveness increases when Shin insists he needs occasional me-time when he can lock himself in the den and do ... well, we never find out, which pisses Rin off to no end. She finds the idea that spouses need any privacy from each other incomprehensible.
But not all these failed relationships are Rin's fault. That Shah is going to be a bad boyfriend should be obvious from the fact that she meets him at an orgy. Okay, he was dragged along by a friend, as was she. But consider that this is the sort of orgy where any woman who shows up is expected to put out -- second thoughts are not allowed. Sure, Shah helps her get away, but then he returns to the party, which, let's remember, involves friends of his. You don't need to be Dr. Drew to know this relationship won't last.
But Shah's nothing compared to Gato, the guy Rin shacked up with when she was 16. Gato's the sort of guy who decides to spend his entire paycheck in pachinko parlors on the theory that if you put enough coins in the slots, you're bound to hit it big eventually. Even though pachinko isn't entirely random and can be gamed to some degree, anyone with the slightest knowledge of gambling -- and Gato works at a pachinko parlor -- should know that the house always wins in the end. The upshot is, Rin and Gato subsist on a diet of sugar, salt and coffee creamers.
Yes.
Really.
Rin and Gato even argue over the best mixture of salt and sugar (Rin prefers it 1:1 while Gato likes 2:1).
We never find out why Rin is such damaged goods, though we get some good clues in the last story, which details Rin's relationship with a college student when she was just 15.
As with Snakes and Earrings this book isn't for everyone. Kanehara is an extremely nihilistic writer, in the same league as Bret Easton Ellis -- but with one major difference: where Ellis' books are always filled with a sense that there's something wrong with the world he's describing, Kanehara's work is purely descriptive. This is the way the world is and here's what people do to survive in it. It is a bleak and depressing worldview that offers no escape except into your own mind -- which may not be an improvement over reality.
June 28, 2015
Dobar pocetak, kasnije kako ulazi u proslost i u svoje djetinjstvo malo me odbijalo. Kraj me rastuzio i ta njena mater!! Ludo! Mislila sam da je Ryu Murakami najopiceniji japanski pisac...ali ova zenska ga pretekla. Uglavnom nesređeni zivot od djetinjstva nastavlja se i dalje. Pitam se, ako joj je to skoro autobiografija..kako li ju suprug stvarno moze trpiti...zivo ludilo kad ju cope ti trenuci...hmmm
Dobar opis dusevnog stanja takve osobe.
Dobar opis dusevnog stanja takve osobe.
September 11, 2018
This bitch is totally psycho and supercute as well!
November 15, 2021
learning about someone's mind in reverse order is just such a cool concept and it worked so well, even though you knew the ending it was so gripping
March 31, 2025
“And anyway, I’m an artificial woman myself. I eat artificiality, I grew up on artificiality, I play with artificiality, I excrete artificiality.”
March 1, 2015
i started this book wishing i could get it over & done with as quickly as possible. my first impression of rin (the main character) was that she is too obsessive, overly-possessive, paranoid & just whiny in general.
since autofiction progresses in a reverse manner, i found it so difficult to fathom how her character at 22 was even a POSSIBLE one (how it is even realistic that someone can be so possessive of her husband to be suspicious of even the most innocuous of actions??). i felt that kanehara was exaggerating when she painted rin as an utterly dysfunctional person. i disliked the book terribly bc rin's voice is all that i was getting (since this book is from rin's first person consciousness pov), even though that is (i now feel) the whole point i.e. so that the reader will be able to track her psychological & emotional regression.
to anyone who is frustrated with this book & is on the verge of putting it down for good (like i was before): the book does get much better as it backtracks into rin's past. with every unfortunate & disturbing event that happens to rin (which she amazingly normalises?!), i began to understand slowly why she has to act in a certain obnoxious way in order to protect herself. i think it was really interesting to journey with rin & witness the logical hardening process of her heart (which is of course, in reverse i.e. her heart goes from hardened to soft in the book bc the sequence is reversed).
ultimately, i feel that the enjoyment of the book is contingent on the reader's own context. i began the book in a really happy state of mind - eager to try my hand at contemporary japanese lit, so it was naturally a bummer to be received by a whiny, paranoid woman in the first few pages. yet, i finished the book when i was feeling absolutely crappy about life & needed a respite, & this was when kanehera's autofiction did it for me. towards the end of the book, there is really so much pain in rin. she is so rad, yet, she is simultaneously so broken that it broke my heart too. perhaps it is bc i was feeling rly lousy about myself that (even though our circumstances differed so hugely) i was able to connect with her on an emotional level - even the eccentric portion of her thinking about strange thoughts in her distraught state of mind so that anyone on the street who is able to read minds (which runs in line with her paranoia) will not know how screwed up she is (albeit a more watered down version bc the extent of her disturbance is appalling). towards the end, i felt that hurt rin & i could be one & the same, just like how she mentions that she has many versions of herself that are fighting against one another. hence, if you are contemplating if you should read autofiction, read it, not for rin, nor for kanehara (& her accolades for "snakes and earrings"),
but for yourself.
(i even shed some tears at the end bc it was really quite cathartic)
since autofiction progresses in a reverse manner, i found it so difficult to fathom how her character at 22 was even a POSSIBLE one (how it is even realistic that someone can be so possessive of her husband to be suspicious of even the most innocuous of actions??). i felt that kanehara was exaggerating when she painted rin as an utterly dysfunctional person. i disliked the book terribly bc rin's voice is all that i was getting (since this book is from rin's first person consciousness pov), even though that is (i now feel) the whole point i.e. so that the reader will be able to track her psychological & emotional regression.
to anyone who is frustrated with this book & is on the verge of putting it down for good (like i was before): the book does get much better as it backtracks into rin's past. with every unfortunate & disturbing event that happens to rin (which she amazingly normalises?!), i began to understand slowly why she has to act in a certain obnoxious way in order to protect herself. i think it was really interesting to journey with rin & witness the logical hardening process of her heart (which is of course, in reverse i.e. her heart goes from hardened to soft in the book bc the sequence is reversed).
ultimately, i feel that the enjoyment of the book is contingent on the reader's own context. i began the book in a really happy state of mind - eager to try my hand at contemporary japanese lit, so it was naturally a bummer to be received by a whiny, paranoid woman in the first few pages. yet, i finished the book when i was feeling absolutely crappy about life & needed a respite, & this was when kanehera's autofiction did it for me. towards the end of the book, there is really so much pain in rin. she is so rad, yet, she is simultaneously so broken that it broke my heart too. perhaps it is bc i was feeling rly lousy about myself that (even though our circumstances differed so hugely) i was able to connect with her on an emotional level - even the eccentric portion of her thinking about strange thoughts in her distraught state of mind so that anyone on the street who is able to read minds (which runs in line with her paranoia) will not know how screwed up she is (albeit a more watered down version bc the extent of her disturbance is appalling). towards the end, i felt that hurt rin & i could be one & the same, just like how she mentions that she has many versions of herself that are fighting against one another. hence, if you are contemplating if you should read autofiction, read it, not for rin, nor for kanehara (& her accolades for "snakes and earrings"),
but for yourself.
(i even shed some tears at the end bc it was really quite cathartic)
July 4, 2014
The protagonist of Japanese author Hitomi Kanehara's second book to be published in English Autofiction is a strange specimen indeed. She is paranoid, neurotic and totally enamoured and obsessed with her new husband. The novel is written as a stream of her consciousness. In the first chapter we learn she is also an author and her publishers want her next book to be a work of 'autofiction'; a work combining fiction and autobiography. The remaining three chapters of the book are about Rin's teenage experiences. But are they really? Are the traumatic events in her teenage years really hers or a product of her imagination?
I don't know, and by the end of the book, I didn't really care. I usually like books about mental illness and unreliable narrators, but those books were relatively well written. This book is a jumble. I have a feeling that Kanehara just threw in anything she deemed shocking into the novel, but for me it just doesn't work. It's boring. Maybe the author was putting in all these taboo things as an attempt at shocking or dark humour, but it comes across as trying too hard. In the second chapter we get SO EDGY gems like this:
So edgy! I'd give this one a miss if I were you. If only Kanehara let the edginess take a backseat and developed more of a storyline.
I don't know, and by the end of the book, I didn't really care. I usually like books about mental illness and unreliable narrators, but those books were relatively well written. This book is a jumble. I have a feeling that Kanehara just threw in anything she deemed shocking into the novel, but for me it just doesn't work. It's boring. Maybe the author was putting in all these taboo things as an attempt at shocking or dark humour, but it comes across as trying too hard. In the second chapter we get SO EDGY gems like this:
"No, I wanted to say that because you're cute. you'll definitely be raped."
So edgy! I'd give this one a miss if I were you. If only Kanehara let the edginess take a backseat and developed more of a storyline.
July 19, 2013
The book starts with an auto biographical theme inside the mind of a just married, insecure young woman called Rin. As you read, you wonder if the thoughts are real; being a female myself I could relate to the crazy that can go on in ones mind sometimes. However, then the main character is asked to write a book, an auto-fiction. The genre of auto fiction is defined as a fictional autobiography, or an autobiography with fictional elements. This is the main draw at the beginning of the story. Her mind is flawed and her actions desperate, but as the book progresses back in time you start to learn of what may have caused the issues she has in the present, aka the beginning of the book. The book is written in a first-person stream-of-consciousness style, Rin frequently sidetracks from her narrative and makes you wish she'd go on with the story, to get over her issues and move onto the next phase, but somehow Kanehara has a talent to keep you tied into the story, her word-weaving skills are definitely shown in this book. It is a short read, about 216 pages, but still very interesting.
July 16, 2019
It was the worst book I've ever pulled through with a female MC annoying as hell. Sorry, but I couldn't connect with her or her weird daydreams at all.
January 28, 2021
A snappy read that offers a few intriguing twists. Whilst it's not as psychological as it could be, and the characters are cartoonish, it was fun nonetheless.
Full review soon.
Full review soon.
July 17, 2017
The image that comes to my head to describe this book is of a spiral, like a Slinky. The protagonist's thoughts reach moments of clarity, of sanity, like at the top of each loop, but they never seem to travel the same path twice. I was never totally sure what I was reading. It's fascinating, especially the way it follows her backward in time. I can't wait to read Snakes and Earrings.
April 23, 2023
I enjoyed this book a lot. Giving the reviews, I thought there was a chance for it to be vapid and pandering but I don’t think that’s the case. Yes, Kanehara is blunt when it comes to discuss sexuality, violence, and mental health but I have seen the same language and imagery used by other male authors and no one is clutching their pearls.
Anyway, the story follows Rin, a twenty-something author who is encouraged by her new editor to write “auto fiction”, meaning, a work of fiction inspired by her personal background. How much is based on her past is never stated but I like the ambiguity. I often see the blurb about this book about Rin going into despair after thinking her beloved brand husband is cheating on her with a flight attendant. However, this said anecdote is a short story written by Rin, based in the early days of her marriage. So, in a way, it was a way to show how the auto fiction technique works for her.
As we go through each chapter, we can see Rin in different stages of her life, the last one being her at 15 years old and dealing with mental health issues and a pregnancy. How much is real and explains the current Rin’s behavior? How much is based in Kanehara herself? Is Rin an auto fiction version of her younger years? We may never know but what remains is the fact this book portrays deep depression pretty good.
Rin acts disaffected but her mind goes overdriven with ruminations. A part of herself wants to die but, at the same time, she is desperate to keep living. Those contradictions are exhausting and you can see how much they take a toll on her. Luckily, it seems she is at a better place if you take the first chapter at face value, but you can see she still fall in the same self destructive patterns. Still, at the end of the book, you can see why she is this needy, chaotic and stubborn young woman.
Three stars from me and now I want to read more of Kanehara’s work. I already read Snakes and Earrings but it seems there are no plans of translating more of her books. What a shame!
Anyway, the story follows Rin, a twenty-something author who is encouraged by her new editor to write “auto fiction”, meaning, a work of fiction inspired by her personal background. How much is based on her past is never stated but I like the ambiguity. I often see the blurb about this book about Rin going into despair after thinking her beloved brand husband is cheating on her with a flight attendant. However, this said anecdote is a short story written by Rin, based in the early days of her marriage. So, in a way, it was a way to show how the auto fiction technique works for her.
As we go through each chapter, we can see Rin in different stages of her life, the last one being her at 15 years old and dealing with mental health issues and a pregnancy. How much is real and explains the current Rin’s behavior? How much is based in Kanehara herself? Is Rin an auto fiction version of her younger years? We may never know but what remains is the fact this book portrays deep depression pretty good.
Rin acts disaffected but her mind goes overdriven with ruminations. A part of herself wants to die but, at the same time, she is desperate to keep living. Those contradictions are exhausting and you can see how much they take a toll on her. Luckily, it seems she is at a better place if you take the first chapter at face value, but you can see she still fall in the same self destructive patterns. Still, at the end of the book, you can see why she is this needy, chaotic and stubborn young woman.
Three stars from me and now I want to read more of Kanehara’s work. I already read Snakes and Earrings but it seems there are no plans of translating more of her books. What a shame!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 22, 2023
So from the rest of the reviews, this will instead have to be a defence of this book.
Is the main character completely insane? Probably yeah. When you go into this book, you have to understand you are not looking at the events through someone who is mentally stable. This book portrays anxiety to an extreme level and with a somewhat satirical take, where the actions and the issues the main character leaves to fester in her mind build up to an earth shattering crescendo at the end of each chapter. You aren't meant to like this character or what they do, but they are meant to act realistically. Furthermore, you can understand her actions and thoughts more and more as you delve deeper into her past as the chapter's ordering is reverse chronologically, a really interesting trope that is done really nicely in here.
Is it edgy? Yes. But considering some literature out there is GOING to be, you can't judge a book based on that adjective alone, especially when other "edgy" books get good reviews. There is clearly a purpose to it here just as much as those other books, as the book tackles youth culture, sex and delinquency.
If you can accept all of that once you go into this book, there are some really beautiful passages, that will make you think for a while, with so many interesting themes that come up. I could not put this book down once I started it, it kept me completely enthralled.
Is the main character completely insane? Probably yeah. When you go into this book, you have to understand you are not looking at the events through someone who is mentally stable. This book portrays anxiety to an extreme level and with a somewhat satirical take, where the actions and the issues the main character leaves to fester in her mind build up to an earth shattering crescendo at the end of each chapter. You aren't meant to like this character or what they do, but they are meant to act realistically. Furthermore, you can understand her actions and thoughts more and more as you delve deeper into her past as the chapter's ordering is reverse chronologically, a really interesting trope that is done really nicely in here.
Is it edgy? Yes. But considering some literature out there is GOING to be, you can't judge a book based on that adjective alone, especially when other "edgy" books get good reviews. There is clearly a purpose to it here just as much as those other books, as the book tackles youth culture, sex and delinquency.
If you can accept all of that once you go into this book, there are some really beautiful passages, that will make you think for a while, with so many interesting themes that come up. I could not put this book down once I started it, it kept me completely enthralled.
October 26, 2014
This was a very strange book that deserves a good rating as it's one that has been stuck in my mind for a while now and I always find that if a book is memorable it deserves great praise. A bizarre story about a fruit loop of a girl who is extremely possessive and a slave to dark thoughts. You are welcomed into a very disturbed mind, which I found fascinating.
Before reading this novel I had never heard of the author before and I picked it up as the cover caught my eye when browsing the shelves in my local library. After reading the blurb I thought the story sounded very interesting...a sort of twisted romance. I was not disappointed as I felt the author delivered. I found that I could not completely feel attached to the MC, however, which was the only downside for me and I wanted to slap her a few times but maybe that's how the author wished you to feel towards the MC, I am not sure.
Overall, I enjoyed this story...mostly because it was something different and bizarre...2 of my favourite things.
Before reading this novel I had never heard of the author before and I picked it up as the cover caught my eye when browsing the shelves in my local library. After reading the blurb I thought the story sounded very interesting...a sort of twisted romance. I was not disappointed as I felt the author delivered. I found that I could not completely feel attached to the MC, however, which was the only downside for me and I wanted to slap her a few times but maybe that's how the author wished you to feel towards the MC, I am not sure.
Overall, I enjoyed this story...mostly because it was something different and bizarre...2 of my favourite things.
July 8, 2011
This is quite possible the worst book I have EVER come across. And that is being nice.
So it starts off with this woman and her husband in a plane, and already she's irritating me because she keeps going on and on about how she loves her husband so much it hurts and just snapping in and out of paranoia and love and holy crap it's just thrown me already. This woman is crazy and I can't even understand what this book is about. I couldn't follow it. It was allover the place, and went no where, and that's just the first part.
The second part was set when she was 18 and all I could get out of this was her wanting to be raped, and her talking to her vagina. Honestly I have never come across anything crazier than this. It's not even crazy-good, it's just crazy and I can't get a handle on it at all. It's ridiculous and stupid and I don't get how it won so many prizes.
Didn't finish it because it was doing my head in.
Just... what the f*ck...
So it starts off with this woman and her husband in a plane, and already she's irritating me because she keeps going on and on about how she loves her husband so much it hurts and just snapping in and out of paranoia and love and holy crap it's just thrown me already. This woman is crazy and I can't even understand what this book is about. I couldn't follow it. It was allover the place, and went no where, and that's just the first part.
The second part was set when she was 18 and all I could get out of this was her wanting to be raped, and her talking to her vagina. Honestly I have never come across anything crazier than this. It's not even crazy-good, it's just crazy and I can't get a handle on it at all. It's ridiculous and stupid and I don't get how it won so many prizes.
Didn't finish it because it was doing my head in.
Just... what the f*ck...
July 14, 2016
All through this book, I was a bit confused and didn't know what to think. Do I like it or not? The first chapter is very fun. All of it, . Second might have been my favorite, at least during the first half when she meets someone. Then the third chapter was very fast and exciting. And a bit creepy and weird with . The fourth chapter is the weirdest one and also the creepiest and I didn't know what to think. I liked the .
So, I suppose I do like it. It is weird and creepy and at parts even silly (), but all of that made it interesting and cool to read and I liked it.
So, I suppose I do like it. It is weird and creepy and at parts even silly (), but all of that made it interesting and cool to read and I liked it.
May 20, 2013
Read 16/05/13 - 20/05/13
The translation was a little awkward at times, and I think at times it tried to be a little deeper than it actually was. But the general writing style was enjoyable, and the almost stream of consciousness style writing was more engaging than other examples of it I've read.
The second chapter was a little distracting - it felt like there was no real progression (or regression) between the first and second time periods. But between the second and third, and third and fourth, there was a clear sense of the spiral of Rin's life and mental health.
I went for 4 stars rather than 3 because it isn't a literary masterpiece, and does have its faults, but was still a good and engaging read.
The translation was a little awkward at times, and I think at times it tried to be a little deeper than it actually was. But the general writing style was enjoyable, and the almost stream of consciousness style writing was more engaging than other examples of it I've read.
The second chapter was a little distracting - it felt like there was no real progression (or regression) between the first and second time periods. But between the second and third, and third and fourth, there was a clear sense of the spiral of Rin's life and mental health.
I went for 4 stars rather than 3 because it isn't a literary masterpiece, and does have its faults, but was still a good and engaging read.
Read
March 17, 2012Horrible. I contemplated burning this book 1/3 way through but finished it for the sake of finishing a book I bought. I read Snakes and Earrings first, it was not that bad but after this... The main char is just whiny and annoying and disturbing! When I read the plot, I thought it could really develop into something nice. So I read on and waited for the good part but her gazillions of meaningless thoughts just occupied the whole damn book and ruined it. If she talked so much, I wonder why she never bothered to speak up but instead, whine all over again. Also, the fact that there's not one part of the book where Rin is actually behaved and not going psycho.
December 26, 2015
It's hard to share my thoughts about this book, because despite finishing it a while ago, I still don't know what I think.
For what it's worth, I don't think you're supposed to like the main character, so I think that would turn people off. Though by the end, I certainly pitied her. The book is pretty much about going back in time and going "Oh, that's why she's like this!"
Also, the book is pretty much about mental illness and mental instability, so it's very uncomfortable to read. So if you decide to read it, perhaps take your time.
It's by no means a bad book, but it's very different, so a reader should know what they're getting into.
For what it's worth, I don't think you're supposed to like the main character, so I think that would turn people off. Though by the end, I certainly pitied her. The book is pretty much about going back in time and going "Oh, that's why she's like this!"
Also, the book is pretty much about mental illness and mental instability, so it's very uncomfortable to read. So if you decide to read it, perhaps take your time.
It's by no means a bad book, but it's very different, so a reader should know what they're getting into.
December 29, 2025
I wanted to much to like it. I am reminded of Izumi Suzuki, but this book doesn't feel quite so connected to a place of transparent honesty, and I am left without a total sense of understanding what precisely the aim of the book was supposed to be. I think there are some good original ideas in terms of the structure, self awareness and so on, but ultimately I don't think it quite comes together quite right
April 30, 2016
I don't know what to say about this book really the first five pages irritated the hell out of me and I was so annoyed I almost put it down lmao. But I read through and...I wasn't satisfied? I guess I was just like hm okay, it ended that's good. I didn't have expectations so I can't say I was disappointed, just those damn first five pages man. Super annoying.
November 2, 2019
Herne, prostitúcia, instantné, ale vášnivé a intenzívne vzťahy. Temný japonský "ostrovček" pre život... Niekto dostane takéto karty a proste s nimi musí hrať, čo sa dá robiť...
Predstavujem si, že Kanehara žije s Riu Murakamim v jednom maličkom byte v preľudnenej štvrti a všetko, o čom píšu, spolu zažívajú.
Predstavujem si, že Kanehara žije s Riu Murakamim v jednom maličkom byte v preľudnenej štvrti a všetko, o čom píšu, spolu zažívajú.
July 21, 2009
This book does not have a happy ending. It goes backwards... starting with a girl who is 22 and a successful writer... back to when she was 15 years old. Poignant, but lewd. The author is able to capture the moment and description so well... it is uncanny.
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