How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?

by Tara Dawn Chiusano

When I lost my mother, I sat down to write a book about being a mother-less daughter. As soon as my I typed the first words, I realized that I was writing the wrong book. The book I had in my mind discounted all of the other loss in my life and how it had changed me. My first book would be about all the grief experienced, losing my father, my grandparents, my first adult dog, my mother and even myself... and what each loss had taught me. I thought that sharing my experiences might help someone else deal with their own grief... or maybe teach someone how to handle someone else's grief. In the end, I hope I wrote something that everyone I have lost can look down on and feel proud.

131 pages, Hardcover

Published October 27, 2025

Reviews

[Justin Greak · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is a powerful look at loss in all its forms. In it, Chiusano guides us through everything: losing a father suddenly, navigating severe chronic illness (of which she has endured an unimaginable amount), and saying a slow goodbye to a beloved stepfather. It’s a quick, powerful read that never feels heavy or draining.

The book’s real strength is how Chiusano consistently finds practical advice within the pain. Her chapters on chronic illness offer highly useful tips for anyone managing long term medical conditions. Her tender memories of grandparents remind us how important it is to cherish the time we have with our elders.

The chapter about her Papa is especially compelling. Dealing with his long terminal illness and eventual passing showed her a type of grief very different from sudden loss. She shares honest, practical lessons here, like never taking a terminal person's anger personally and making sure you find an emotional outlet for yourself.

For anyone currently facing the terminal illness of a loved one, the later chapters on losing her mother are deeply relatable and incredibly helpful. The author doesn't skip the heartache, but she provides concrete, empathetic advice for similar situations.

Ultimately, this book honors the loved ones she lost while giving readers a guide for navigating their own grief. It’s moving, helpful, and a necessary read for anyone dealing with loss or supporting someone who is.

[Curious Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

How Am I Supposed to Live Without You is a frank, raw account of the author's many years of health struggles and painful personal losses. I agree, 53 is far too young to have no parents.

So many things resonated with me. I don't recall if the author said it in so many words, but I felt she was saying that family are the ones who show up for us. They can be connected through genes or marriage or be friends. I've always believed family is what we make it.

The terrible way "Kim" behaved both before and after the author lost her mother was a reminder of someone in my own life. Loss doesn't always bring out the best in people--sometimes it reveals exactly how flawed they are. Surviving can require letting go.

I liked the suggestions at the end of most chapters. I don't know how many times my parent (involved in grief counseling) have said many similar things. It's also true that family often can't provide the support system we need, even if they aren't caught up in greed and other negative behavior.

Note: Readability would be enhanced if some of the longer paragraphs were shortened.

I strongly recommend this book. It's both an expression of resilience and a personal journey that can help inform and inspire.

[Tellen Thurlow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every page is worthwhile of your time, truly personal and passionate.

How am I supposed to live without you by Tara Dawn Chiusano immediately grabbed my attention. We as living beings are always going to have to deal with arguably the most difficult part of life, which is losing people we love. It is something that is hard to describe to someone who has not fully experienced it. The author has written a truly perfect, personal and beautiful book here. I am glad she found the strength to put things into words.

The book goes into detail if the author losing many members of her family and how it changed her life and how it changes herself and it’s intent is to help others who will always be going through these stages of grief. Her shared experiences are useful and profound.
As a book it is very well written and flows really well, it is one of those books you cannot wait to get back to. I recommend this book to anyone, including people who have not lost a love one yet, to pre-plan for when the inevitable one day comes. Tara should be proud of what she has done with this book and her plan to do it to help others. Her family would be very proud of it.

[Louis Koeppen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?” by Tara Dawn Chiusano is not a light read. If you are an eldest daughter in the sandwich generation, you might find yourself nodding along. To us without spouses or children, we’re shaking our heads at the impossibility of realistic families.

It is documenting health issues and lives lost in a rich, well-lived life. Though it regularly includes a sentence or two describing the sweet and even funny moments, the gravity of the content and the natural writing does make it seem like I instructed my beloved and heroic sister (eldest daughter, sandwich generation), “here is a tape recorder, tell me everything, then we’ll transcript your stream of consciousness and turn it into a well written book.”

If this is your first time experiencing grief, you might find a kindred soul in this author. It is not a how-to, but it does include enumerated wisdom at the end of each chapter.

[Bobbi Winkler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tara shows real emotions on dealing with the losses in her life. She tells about how she dealt with her grief but also let's people know that there is no wrong way to grieve. I think anyone that has suffered a loss would find the book helpful.