Under the Big Top: A Season with the Circus – An Unforgettable Memoir of Childhood Fantasy and Clown Life

by Bruce Feiler

Both a great American adventure and a rare entry into asheltered world, Under the Big Top describes one man's pursuit of every child's fantasy: running away to join the circus. Bruce Feiler's unforgettable year as a clown will forever change your view of one of the world's oldest art forms and remind you of how dreams can go horribly wrong -- and then miraculously come true.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography Memoir, Biography, Travel, Ebooks

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1995

About the author

BRUCE FEILER is one of America’s most popular voices on contemporary life. He is the author of six consecutive New York Times bestsellers; the presenter of two prime-time series on PBS; and the inspiration for the drama COUNCIL OF DADS on NBC. Bruce’s two TED Talks have been viewed more than two million times. Employing a firsthand approach to his work, Bruce is known for living the experiences he writes about. His work combines timeless wisdom with timely knowledge turned into practical, positive messages that allow people to live with more meaning, passion, and joy. His new book, LIFE IS IN THE TRANSITIONS: Mastering Change at Any Age, describes his journey across America, collecting hundreds of life stories, exploring how we can navigate the growing number of life transitions with greater purpose and skill.

For more than a decade, Bruce has explored the intersection of families, relationships, health, and happiness. His book THE SECRETS OF HAPPY FAMILIES collects best practices from some of the country’s most creative minds. The book was featured on World News, GMA, and TODAY and excerpted in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and Parade. THE COUNCIL OF DADS describes how, faced with one of life’s greatest challenges, he asked six friends to support his young daughters. The book was profiled in PEOPLE, USA Today, and Time and was the subject of a CNN documentary hosted by Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

Since 2001, Bruce has been one of the country’s preeminent thinkers about the role of spirituality in contemporary life. WALKING THE BIBLE describes his 10,000-mile journey retracing the Five Books of Moses through the desert. (“An instant classic,” Washington Post). The book spent a year and a half on the New York Times bestseller list and has been translated into fifteen languages.

ABRAHAM recounts his search for the shared ancestor of the monotheistic religions. (“Exquisitely written,” Boston Globe). WHERE GOD WAS BORN describes his trek visiting biblical sites throughout Israel, Iraq, and Iran. (“Bruce Feiler is a real-life Indiana Jones,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution). AMERICA’S PROPHET is the groundbreaking story of the influence of Moses on American history. THE FIRST LOVE STORY is a journey across four continents exploring how Adam and Eve shaped our deepest feelings about relationships. (“A miraculous thing—the literary equivalent of breathing new life into a figure of clay,” New York Times Book Review; “Feiler’s best work yet,” Publishers Weekly).

A native of Savannah, Georgia, Bruce lives in Brooklyn with wife, Linda Rottenberg, and their identical twin daughters.

Reviews

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book. I've been fascinated with the circus for my entire life, and I'd read a little of Feiler's writing before (he had an article in Gourmet several years ago that I greatly enjoyed and still reread), and was prepared for this to be very engaging and well written.

Instead, I was greatly disappointed by what I felt was flaccid, convoluted writing. The book gets off to a great start, with a compelling anecdote about an elephant who must be anesthetized so veterinarians can drain an abscess on her toenail. The tension, as well as the circus folks' love and concern for the animal, was palpable as the elephant's doctors, handlers, and owners wondered if she'd make it through the risky procedure.

After this strong beginning, however, the book spins out tale after tale of circus workers who are disenfranchised everywhere except the circus -- and sometimes even there, too. Circus life is rough, but frankly, apart from the admittedly unique dangers involved with working with wild animals, the lives profiled in this book didn't seem all that different from the lives of most people I know.

Circus workers worry about their health, their kids, their marriages, their retirement, their place in the community -- it's all very familiar. Yet Feiler insists on telling us, repeatedly that these people are wild and crazy and so very different from us.

The setup doesn't match what's revealed, and that's the big problem with this book. We're promised a stupefying look into the (allegedly) often sordid lives of circus workers, we're told we won't believe our eyes. And yet the people we meet in this book are completely human, struggling with things most of us can relate to.

I enjoyed this book mainly for the nuts-and-bolts information it provided, such as circus slang, circus traditions, and circus finances. I do believe that it was Feiler's intention to humanize circus folk, who are often misunderstood as weirdos or somehow "dirty," and he did achieve that goal. But the tone of the book is solidly in the "step right up and see the freaks" range. It's incongruous, and it bothered me. I can't help wondering if it bothered some of the people depicted in this book.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was like a performance in its own right. Feiler simultaneously guides the reader through his experience of entering the private backstage world of the circus, the stories of performers and workers, and describes the beauty of the circus performance itself. Throughout the book you are faced with the bond of family that both strengthens and threatens to tear apart life behind the bright lights. Many of the stories and secrets of the circus are things you would guess out, but what I found most surprising was the overall sense of community and stability a traveling show provides. And like few other industries, the circus presents second chances and a place for those who otherwise wouldn't have opportunities. A wonderful portrait of one of America's classic pastimes. When Feiler contemplates a tomorrow without the circus, the reader contemplates the power of a journey's end.

[Natasa · Rating 2 out of 5]

A poorly written, unsatisfying volume. I expected so much more but was disappointed. 

[Muffin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was basically fine. He travels with a circus for a season and writes about it. He begs to be allowed to work as a clown while reporting on the circus and I think the book is weaker for it. He spends barely any time interviewing the circus staff because there’s a thick line between them and the performers. He acknowledges animal rights issues without doing literally any reporting himself on what abuse is actually happening - he mostly takes the animal trainers’ word for it, which is sort of silly because he repeatedly notes that everyone in the circus lies to him all the time. There are definitely some interesting stories in here but his analysis is very surface; he repeatedly insists that the circus IS America, like ok dude we get it. I think there’s a much more thoughtful book hidden in here that a more talented writer (and one who wasn’t embedded as a performer) would have been able to bring out. Anyway, it’s a breezy enough read for those of us still dreaming of running off with the circus.

[Adam · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm torn on this book. The concept - which is that the author spent a year traveling and working with an American circus - is captivating. While some of the content was interesting, I have two gripes:

1. Despite the author's best efforts, his final product is basically a bunch of random anecdotes weakly strung together.

2. This book is around 25 years old and with the changing times, feels outdated. The way in which the author discusses several topics, specifically women and animal rights, makes him appear less than prescient and at times left me cringing. He also seems to have some kind of random disdain for New York/New Yorkers.

I've always found circus life fascinating, but I wish I had dedicated my time to another book. That would probably be my recommendation for others. Despite this being a quick, easy read, there's likely to better material out there to fill your desires relative to this topic.

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, but not as much as I had expected to. Clearly, there are interesting stories and characters in the circus, and we get to see them here, but I don't think author Bruce Feiler chose the best structure to tell those stories. It certainly seems like a good idea to use the order of the circus show to organize the book (The order of the chapters reflecting the order of the acts and performers in the show), but I felt that this led to too much of the narrative switching back and forth through time, with too many hints and threads in early chapters not resolved (if at all) until later chapters. I know this kind of structure can work, but, for me, in this book, it just didn't.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Picked this up on the spur of the moment, and I'm glad I did. It's not every nonfiction book that begins with a story of ingrown elephant toenails and ends with a human cannonball. Reading this made me want to visit the circus for the first time in years.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

interesting backstage look at circus life

[Zev · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I first read this, I congratulated myself on already knowing some stuff, but was surprised at just how much this book still taught me. The author gives a detailed, proud account of his time performing with a big circus as a clown. He intersperses his experiences with the history of circuses in America. The book opens with a circus elephant undergoing surgery. The narrative abruptly switches to the author's circus experience. Switching back and forth between the author's experiences and circus operations and history is constant throughout the book. At times on second read, it's a little annoying. I got why he did it, though. He lovingly describes the animals the circus performs with: their looks, temperaments, trainers. He genuinely believes they like performing.

I've never been to a circus. let alone performed in one, but I've worried about circus animals when they're mentioned, since I was a teen. I'm not a fan of having animals perform for entertainment unless it's a dog show or a youtube video or something. I've watched the documentary "Blackfish" twice. The first time, I had nightmares for a week. The second, I was so freakin' sad and unsettled. I don't blame Dawn Bradchau at all. I blame SeaWorld. Despite my views that training animals to perform for humans is generally bad, an old friend of mine's husband was a circus animal trainer for twenty-five years and enjoyed talking about it, and I enjoyed his stories. He happily showed photos he'd saved. Tigers, lions, and wolves were his specialty. Somewhat meekly, I always inquired about his training methods, and was he ever scared? I'm sure I was far from the only one asking. His face would light up as he spoke with such fondness of these animals. He laughed about how big cats are still cats. They rubbed their faces on him as a sign of affection and sat on things constantly because they could. He wasn't scared exactly, but knew to always be alert. Treat the animals with respect, he insisted. He talked about some of his training methods, and I was surprised at how--humane they were. He stopped training animals in the early 2000s. This book was written in the 90s, so I bet he and the author had similar experiences as far as time periods and the social messages they picked up.

When the author first describes the tigers, he notes that some are tabby type, and describes what that looks like: light brown with blond stripes. I did a google search and describe the color as "it's basically a washed out color with no stripes, and I wonder if the tiger is sick due to it looking so different." As I kept reading, I thought of different circus disasters over time. I couldn't help it. The author discusses them as others matter-of-factly and respectfully. It was interesting reading this again.

[Book Concierge · Rating 3 out of 5]

Subtitle: A Season With the Circus

Feiler is a writer whom some have called “this generation’s George Plimpton.” He got a rare opportunity to spend a season with the Clyde Beatty-Cole Brothers Circus, as a clown (he had, after all, learned to juggle when he was twelve). He detailed his experiences and the life of circus workers in this book.

I found this quite interesting, given that I have never seen a circus performed in a big tent, and didn’t realize that this show was still in existence (the largest tented circus in the world) until as recently as 2015. Feiler didn’t sugarcoat the difficulties of life on the road, nor did he pull any punches when describing the personalities, foibles and downright illegal activities of some of the workers. But I got a clear sense of the wonder and magic of “the greatest show on earth,” both for the audience and for the performers, hawkers and workers.

I was disappointed, however, that there were no photographs accompanying the text.

[Brian Glenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard him interviewed on NPR when the book came out and immediately reserved it at the library. Such an interesting read! If you want to know what life in a traveling circus is like, this is the book for you. Feiler's depiction is not an attractive one, as the performers and support crew do not make a lot of money, but the book is engrossing. The side hustles, the spats, life on the road, living in a trailer parked just feet from the next one. The author does a really nice job of depicting life with a traveling circus.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I learned a lot about a circus by reading this book. I enjoyed some of the details about the workings of the circus. I also really liked all the details of living on the road for most of the year. It is a lot harder than I imagined. I understand how close the bonds of friendship, almost family, would become after spending so much time together.

There were parts of this book that moved a little slow and some details that were a little much. Overall though it was well written.

Some harsh language throughout the book.

[Mark Bunch · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fairly quick and easy , puts you in the business, George Plimpton "Paper Lion " style. Worth the read if you want to know a brief history and a year in the life. Tidbits I got- I love. How the money changes hands---- the history of circus in the USA. President Washington's horse becomes the first horse to lead a circus. It becomes an All-American event.

[Marsmannix · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book, having read The Queen of the Air. I thought this having been writen by a circus man, and closer to the period, it would be good.
However, i found the antiquated language just to much to deal with. Had it been more than descriptions, I may have persevered.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ever wondered what life on the road with the circus is like? Bruce Feiler lets you take a peek behind the tents and in the backlots of a traveling circus. It was an interesting read of what is basically a by-gone era.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir, but it wasn't the best one I've ever read. That said, I loved the behind the scenes look at the circus. The stories of the performers and how they have mastered their acts was very interesting and I would have enjoyed more about that. It was a quick fun read!

[Kristi Amdur · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have ever wondered what it would be like to join the circus, Bruce Feiler does it and writes a thoughtful, insightful, and engaging book about it. He doesn’t skimp on the good, the bad, or the ugly details and truly gives us an honest view of circus life.

[Eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Takes a personal inner view at the mechanics of a circus and the pain and happiness that comes with it.

[Zachary Littrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you can read this inside survey of the circus and not want to immediately go see one, your childhood imagination is hopelessly lost without repair, friend.

Divided roughly by the various acts and aspects of the circus, balancing chronology like a juggler, Feiler recounts with awe, and occasional grimace, the ins-and-outs of the circus during his year-long stint as a clown. Given how mercilessly modern pop culture has reduced the circus to an image of a dirty artifact of hucksterism, while clowns have become synonymous with perverts and psychopaths, Feiler performs a remarkable feat of (strength? will? creativity?) and transports the reader to their childhood, when clowns were crusaders of silly fun and the circus was the hotspot of every little boy or girl's dream.

It of course wouldn't be an inside scoop if it didn't capture the surprises, errant bumps, and black-eyes in the lives of the circus folk. There is a great deal of hustling, sex (both in and out of wedlock, both intra- and extra-marital), low-brow humor, and violent feuds. But the circus visibly left a very positive impression on Feiler, so he concentrates on the family atmosphere of the oddball microcosm; I was very surprised by how much of the drama was centered on these performers falling in and out -- and then right back in -- love with each other.

It's a shame then that the fun and peculiar ride through this famous but obscure sector of Americana is hindered by Feiler's philosophical waxing and waning. He admirably constructs his narrative to present the circus as an analogy (and sometimes the antithesis) of America, but it grows obvious and redundant, and distracting -- for the love of Pete, let me enjoy scenes of clown pumping each other's stomach without making it into an overblown simile.

But with only tiny squabbles, this was a very enjoyable return trip to the part of my childhood wonder I had forgotten as I grew older. I most certainly will not be running away to join a circus -- months driving an RV cross-country in cramped, and often miserable, conditions sounds like fun only to a very select group of people. However, the next time the circus comes to town, I will be there.

[Trisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up in the gift shop at Circus World Museum in Baraboo, Wisconsin which was the winter headquarters of Ringling Brothers from 1884 to 1918. The museum is a great place to visit, not only because it’s got a big top show complete with elephants, acrobats, clowns and aerial performers, but also because of the many fascinating historical exhibits and the colorful collection of beautifully restored vintage circus wagons. By the end of the day I was filled with nostalgia for a piece of America’s past I had never really known – except in stories. (Toby Tyler from my childhood and Water for Elephants more recently.) So it’s no surprise that this book caught my attention and perhaps the reason I enjoyed it so much was simply because I was in the mood to read about what it’s like traveling with a real live circus that’s still on the road today. (check it out at http://www.gotothecircus.com/) Bruce Feiler’s account of the season he spent touring with the circus may not be the best book I’ve read all year, but it’s certainly one of the most fascinating. He didn’t just tag along looking for interesting things to write about, he actually lived the life, performing in the ring as a clown and helping behind the scenes with one of the few remaining tent circuses still around. His book is a down to earth look at what it’s like to travel with a modern circus from the perspective of the people who have made it their life. Each chapter focuses on a major big top attraction and lets the reader get to know the performer who is responsible for performing it rain or shine, night after night. The book captures all the tradition, excitement, danger, and grittiness of circus life as well as the romance that’s always been associated with it. I was most fascinated by the circus people themselves and how much they are motivated by many of the same things as other people: friendship, marriage, family responsibilities; health, financial security, education, religious beliefs, and the desire to lead a good life despite the fact that many of the people we meet in the book have no problem lying, cheating ,back biting, breaking the law and beating the hell out of one another.

[S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bruce Feiler spent two years in Japan and came out with Learning to Bow, where paradoxically his attempts to gain dignity unknowingly made a fool of himself. The reader can figure out when Feiler is being scorned, but it's not entirely clear he knows it, then or at time of writing. Contradictorily, Feiler sets out in this book to be a clown but ends up capturing some surprising dignity of the circus life, which is a cultural phenom on the decline but still maintaining a hold on American culture.

Feiler is in some ways a thinking man's, slightly shambled Simon Winchester. He writes about seemingly unrelated topics across subject fields, and he comes off as submissive and junior in his relationships with others, which if course in the end makes for a better range of access and stories. He recently held an unsuccessful "meet the author" web event he on GR where unfortunately two dozen people showed up, but seen as a totality, of course he is a professional writer and creative. 4/5 evocative description of traveling circus life and subculture

[Djrmel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another life in the circus book, this one is nonfiction. Mr. Feiler spent a season traveling with the Clyde Beaty-Cole Brothers Circus, one of the last large tent circuses. He trains (very quickly) as a clown, and drops right into what he calls the two halves of the circus, the performances and the performers. It's obvious from the story telling that Mr. Feiler loved his experience, and made a lot of friends while he was with the circus, because he's very hesitant to say anything negative about the experience. When he does, he's quick to point out positives to offset them. Rose colored glasses aside, if you've ever wondered about the day to day life of being part of a circus, I'd recommend this book.

[Kendra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Under the Big Top is just an amazing and truthful book, rich with detail. Bruce is a truely gifted writer who helps you feel as though you were there with him through it all.
The only problems that I have with Under the Big Top would be the rushed ending. You feel as though Bruce is finally getting used to circus life and then the book is over.

It's especially intriguing for circus lovers who are interested in knowing how modern circuses run, and circus life in general. It's eye-opening, as well, for those that still believe the circus is what it portrays itself to be - a fantasy. And despite Bruce's brute honesty, Under the Big Top helps you realize that maybe things can be still be beautiful DESPITE their problems.

[Vivian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was mind blowing and fantastic. A from the first page I was fully captivated and moved by the intimacy with which Feiler writes the memoir. I'm a fanatic for early 20th century circuses and this completely satisfied. I love how he follows each player of the circus and gives their backstory. I'm collecting circus fiction and this is the first nonfiction in my collection and it's a true find to me because I dug it out of Strand Bookstore in NYC. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, as it did get a bit tedious towards the middle. But for circus lovers, yes.

[Paul]

His tale is especially appealling because it makes it seem applicable even for the average reader who can't fathom joining the circus at this point in their lives. Wouldn't my co-workers be weirded out by the guy with a college degree working with them for a year? Do they even use the word 'co-worker?' Answers: yes, and probably not.

Join the circus. It'll be worth it.

[Allisonlcarter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very solid, pleasant look at a year spent traveling with a tented three-ring circus. A good dose of circus history mixed with contemporary looks at the men and women who still live this life. Makes me want to look up the circus, which winters in DeLand, Florida, next time I'm down visiting my folks.

[Belinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

The circus is a microcosm of America. Feiler recounted his season as a clown with the Cole Brothers Circus. Telling the stories of those who performed and worked on the 8 month, 12,000 mile, 501 show season. He did a very nice job telling us about the souls whom he met and came to know.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though I like the structure of the book, the stories the author alluded to seem more interesting than the ones he actually tells. It's a melancholy book rather than joyous not that I expected an overly happy portrait of a dying art.

[Meredith · Rating 3 out of 5]

As said by another reviewer: I enjoyed this book but not as much as I expected to. I had a hard time connecting with the story and characters and it was a slow read for me (on a topic I find very interesting.)

[Amanda]

I love to read true stories about unique lifestyles....and there aren't many more unique than the circus! Interesting and insightful look into a world many of us only ever know from inside the Big Top.