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10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World
An Atria Book. Atria Books has a great book for every reader.
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First published September 1, 2025
About the author
Jean M. Twenge
26 books323 followersDr. Twenge frequently gives talks and seminars on teaching and working with today’s young generation based on a dataset of 11 million young people. Her audiences have included college faculty and staff, high school teachers, military personnel, camp directors, and corporate executives. Her research has been covered in Time, Newsweek, The New York Times, USA Today, U.S. News and World Report, and The Washington Post, and she has been featured on Today, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Fox and Friends, NBC Nightly News, Dateline NBC, and National Public Radio.
She holds a BA and MA from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. She lives in San Diego with her husband and three daughters.
She holds a BA and MA from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. She lives in San Diego with her husband and three daughters.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 152 reviews
August 28, 2025
TLDR: Read this instead of The Anxious Generation.
Thanks to Atria for the gifted copy of this book!
So I will be honest… I read THE ANXIOUS GENERATION with my book club earlier this year, and kind of felt like it could be an article. I appreciated all the research and agreed with the sentiment, but it was a little on the long side for me. TEN RULES, however, was exactly the book I was looking for!!! This is such a practical guide to parenting in the modern day age with technology, backed up by data and research, filled with personal stories, and still short enough to feel like an efficient read. I agreed with literally everything in this book and thought it was well organized, and easy to get through. This is accessible for any parent. Please read this!!!
Thanks to Atria for the gifted copy of this book!
So I will be honest… I read THE ANXIOUS GENERATION with my book club earlier this year, and kind of felt like it could be an article. I appreciated all the research and agreed with the sentiment, but it was a little on the long side for me. TEN RULES, however, was exactly the book I was looking for!!! This is such a practical guide to parenting in the modern day age with technology, backed up by data and research, filled with personal stories, and still short enough to feel like an efficient read. I agreed with literally everything in this book and thought it was well organized, and easy to get through. This is accessible for any parent. Please read this!!!
December 15, 2025
This book has some interesting ideas, but I found several contradictions that didn’t sit right with me. The author praises how safe children’s lives are today compared to the past, suggesting that kids can handle more freedom, like running errands or walking to the park at eight. I don’t disagree that kids are safer, but it’s important to recognize why. Safer communities, responsible parenting, and better systems make these freedoms possible. Glorifying the freedom of her own childhood while implying kids today should replicate it felt a little tone-deaf. It’s not inherently safer now than in the 80s or 90s; it’s the result of intentional change.
At the same time, she is extremely strict about digital spaces. Social media, online content, and devices are tightly controlled, giving children almost no chance to make choices or prove their judgment. That tension felt contradictory, in the real world, kids are trusted to navigate independence, but online, they are treated as incapable of responsibility. This approach also included assumptions I found problematic, like claiming that having a phone does not reduce the likelihood of a child being a victim of a crime. For me, that’s simply not true;
phones are often essential for safety, and I would like to see data backing up her claims.
Some of the points I agreed with include her idea of putting friction in children’s paths to prevent harmful habits, the no-phones-in-bed rule, and taking books everywhere to encourage reading. I also appreciated her note that parents should “not let perfect be the enemy of the good.” The guidance around gradually introducing devices, for example, starting with a non-smartphone before a smartphone felt practical and reasonable. Blocking texting or social media during school hours makes sense in theory, though in my mind, phones are sometimes essential for emergencies like school gun violence or health situations.
I disagreed with several other perspectives. She criticizes activities like paint-by-numbers or video games in ways that feel unnecessarily judgmental, ignoring the happiness or resilience they can foster. I also found her tone condescending at times, especially when discussing Gen Z or digital literacy, as if younger generations need to be managed rather than taught to navigate responsibly. Her approach sometimes felt like micromanaging, rather than giving children space to learn from mistakes.
The book also raised valid points about encouraging diverse interests beyond digital gaming, such as sports, hobbies, reading, and outdoor time. She correctly notes that if gaming becomes a child’s sole interest, interventions are needed, but some of the framing about addiction felt exaggerated. Correlation does not equal causation, and kids might turn to gaming as a route of escapism rather than gaming causing depression.
Overall, the book offers some practical guidelines and interesting reflections on parenting in the digital age. The key takeaways for me were: put friction in the right places, gradually introduce devices, set boundaries around sleep and school time, and teach responsibility rather than micromanaging. Still, the contradictions between her approach to real-world freedom and digital restrictions and unsupported claims along with some of the condescending tones made me read the book critically rather than fully embrace her philosophy. Parenting in a high-tech world requires nuance, judgment, and giving children opportunities to grow while keeping them safe, and that balance wasn’t fully realized here. For me- it was too much independence virtually and too much micromanaging digitally.
At the same time, she is extremely strict about digital spaces. Social media, online content, and devices are tightly controlled, giving children almost no chance to make choices or prove their judgment. That tension felt contradictory, in the real world, kids are trusted to navigate independence, but online, they are treated as incapable of responsibility. This approach also included assumptions I found problematic, like claiming that having a phone does not reduce the likelihood of a child being a victim of a crime. For me, that’s simply not true;
phones are often essential for safety, and I would like to see data backing up her claims.
Some of the points I agreed with include her idea of putting friction in children’s paths to prevent harmful habits, the no-phones-in-bed rule, and taking books everywhere to encourage reading. I also appreciated her note that parents should “not let perfect be the enemy of the good.” The guidance around gradually introducing devices, for example, starting with a non-smartphone before a smartphone felt practical and reasonable. Blocking texting or social media during school hours makes sense in theory, though in my mind, phones are sometimes essential for emergencies like school gun violence or health situations.
I disagreed with several other perspectives. She criticizes activities like paint-by-numbers or video games in ways that feel unnecessarily judgmental, ignoring the happiness or resilience they can foster. I also found her tone condescending at times, especially when discussing Gen Z or digital literacy, as if younger generations need to be managed rather than taught to navigate responsibly. Her approach sometimes felt like micromanaging, rather than giving children space to learn from mistakes.
The book also raised valid points about encouraging diverse interests beyond digital gaming, such as sports, hobbies, reading, and outdoor time. She correctly notes that if gaming becomes a child’s sole interest, interventions are needed, but some of the framing about addiction felt exaggerated. Correlation does not equal causation, and kids might turn to gaming as a route of escapism rather than gaming causing depression.
Overall, the book offers some practical guidelines and interesting reflections on parenting in the digital age. The key takeaways for me were: put friction in the right places, gradually introduce devices, set boundaries around sleep and school time, and teach responsibility rather than micromanaging. Still, the contradictions between her approach to real-world freedom and digital restrictions and unsupported claims along with some of the condescending tones made me read the book critically rather than fully embrace her philosophy. Parenting in a high-tech world requires nuance, judgment, and giving children opportunities to grow while keeping them safe, and that balance wasn’t fully realized here. For me- it was too much independence virtually and too much micromanaging digitally.
February 21, 2026
I'm already aware of the conversations surrounding kids with screen time and the negative effects of excessive use of smartphones.
Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation is another good read on the topic.
There will come a point when my child will want their own phone, so there was some helpful insight into how to manage that.
I do think once they start Secondary School in a few years time social media will be banned for under 16's anyway - so hopefully that's one less worry.
The author does raise some interesting points that if everyone else in their class has them then your own child will inevitably raise the question of wanting one themselves.
It's interesting that her recommendation is when the child has a driving licence - though here in the U.K. that age is slightly higher than America.
It's a quick read with some interesting graphs to back up her findings,whilst the 10 rules as recommended in the title are simply layed out.
Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation is another good read on the topic.
There will come a point when my child will want their own phone, so there was some helpful insight into how to manage that.
I do think once they start Secondary School in a few years time social media will be banned for under 16's anyway - so hopefully that's one less worry.
The author does raise some interesting points that if everyone else in their class has them then your own child will inevitably raise the question of wanting one themselves.
It's interesting that her recommendation is when the child has a driving licence - though here in the U.K. that age is slightly higher than America.
It's a quick read with some interesting graphs to back up her findings,whilst the 10 rules as recommended in the title are simply layed out.
January 13, 2026
This might be the most influential parenting book I’ve read to date. There are several highlights:
1. It’s only 184 pages but packed with easily digestible information
2. Provides research-backed arguments to support delaying smart devices and internet access to kids (not just because it feels wrong to give a child a smartphone)
3. Provides reasonable device recommendations by age including ones with built in safety features
4. Includes step by step instructions for setting up parental controls on various devices
5. Has actionable items to spark change in schools including drafted emails to send to administrators with data to support claims
I’ll be reading this at least two more times as my daughters grow up and want, then eventually get devices.
This was a perfect supplement to The Anxious Generation.
1. It’s only 184 pages but packed with easily digestible information
2. Provides research-backed arguments to support delaying smart devices and internet access to kids (not just because it feels wrong to give a child a smartphone)
3. Provides reasonable device recommendations by age including ones with built in safety features
4. Includes step by step instructions for setting up parental controls on various devices
5. Has actionable items to spark change in schools including drafted emails to send to administrators with data to support claims
I’ll be reading this at least two more times as my daughters grow up and want, then eventually get devices.
This was a perfect supplement to The Anxious Generation.
February 14, 2026
I’ve read a lot of books on technology and kids/teens and this was my favorite! It took the research from Anxious Generation and turned it SO SO practical. I think the practicality of next steps is huge.
September 2, 2025
A very practical real life book to give you all the tools to protect kids from the dangers of the internet. It's best if you read this with babies and/or very young children, as a lot of information is best implemented early. However it still gives solid advice for being safe in a very unsafe world. I learned things I want to implement for myself as well as my 13 year old! A lot of this feels hard to read, with scary statistics. It's not a feel good or easy read at all. Thank you for giving parents tools in a world that feels chaotic! Thank you to Netgally for the ARC. Definitely recommend for all parents, or soon to be parents!
April 9, 2026
Reading a little in advance of when is necessary for my family but helpful and reaffirming nonetheless.
December 16, 2025
Required reading for modern parents.
October 23, 2025
If you have a child, you know:
The devices are out of control. In many cases, our schools are pushing them. It’s a disaster for our children and it sucks.
If I hear one more person without children opining on parental controls, or other issues—you have no idea. About the time, the tears, the deviousness. It is everywhere. Your use of technology has nothing to do with what is happening to (frankly, destroying) young people.
Jean Twenge’s book is filled with extremely practical, detailed blueprints of how to rein it in. As a parent of a tween, I found it timely and spot-on.
The devices are out of control. In many cases, our schools are pushing them. It’s a disaster for our children and it sucks.
If I hear one more person without children opining on parental controls, or other issues—you have no idea. About the time, the tears, the deviousness. It is everywhere. Your use of technology has nothing to do with what is happening to (frankly, destroying) young people.
Jean Twenge’s book is filled with extremely practical, detailed blueprints of how to rein it in. As a parent of a tween, I found it timely and spot-on.
January 9, 2026
3.5 rounded up.
A basic guide to raising kids in a world where technology is EVERYWHERE.
For anyone thinking about getting their kids a phone or have pre-teens that are asking for a smart phone. Even those whose kids already have phones but are struggling with how to manage it all.
We follow a lot of what she recommends in our household - time limits, blocked websites, app permissions, no phones in the bedroom etc.
Bottom line is that kids do better with rules. Be flexible. Communicate and give yourself lots of grace.
A basic guide to raising kids in a world where technology is EVERYWHERE.
For anyone thinking about getting their kids a phone or have pre-teens that are asking for a smart phone. Even those whose kids already have phones but are struggling with how to manage it all.
We follow a lot of what she recommends in our household - time limits, blocked websites, app permissions, no phones in the bedroom etc.
Bottom line is that kids do better with rules. Be flexible. Communicate and give yourself lots of grace.
August 2, 2025
As a mom to a 10 year old who desperately wants a phone, I was definitely in the target audience for this book. Sadly for my girl, the book only further convinced me that phones for kids are a bad idea.
Twenge shares research galore showing the links between screen time (social media in particular) and depression in teens and teens, and reveals some surprising facts about how early most kids get a phone. Did you know that, on average, most kids get their first smartphone at 11? Or that almost 40% of kids between age 10-12 are on social media?
The facts tell us that kids are not mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with social media or with the addictive algorithms they employ, yet parents are handing over phones due to societal pressures and the old favorite, "everyone else but me has one." While my kids still won't be getting a smart phone anytime soon, I do feel a bit better equipped to deal with it when the time comes after reading this book.
I will say that one chapter definitely didn't work for me, which was about giving more independence in kids' offline lives. I was nodding my head until the author said that kids between 4-7 could be sent several aisles over in the grocery store to bring items back to you, that was a bridge too far for me!
Thanks to Atria for the gifted copy. All opinions are mine.
Twenge shares research galore showing the links between screen time (social media in particular) and depression in teens and teens, and reveals some surprising facts about how early most kids get a phone. Did you know that, on average, most kids get their first smartphone at 11? Or that almost 40% of kids between age 10-12 are on social media?
The facts tell us that kids are not mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with social media or with the addictive algorithms they employ, yet parents are handing over phones due to societal pressures and the old favorite, "everyone else but me has one." While my kids still won't be getting a smart phone anytime soon, I do feel a bit better equipped to deal with it when the time comes after reading this book.
I will say that one chapter definitely didn't work for me, which was about giving more independence in kids' offline lives. I was nodding my head until the author said that kids between 4-7 could be sent several aisles over in the grocery store to bring items back to you, that was a bridge too far for me!
Thanks to Atria for the gifted copy. All opinions are mine.
October 24, 2025
I had no idea how many metrics of young people's wellbeing (emotional, social, and academic) started a steep decline around 2012, the year that smartphone use crossed the 50% threshold. Already a proud "mean parent" holdout on giving my 7th grader a cell phone, this book made me realize I've been too lenient with the other devices we do let her use. She read this book alongside me, initially under duress, but ultimately pronounced it interesting.
Thankfully there are more basic phone options on the market now for those of us who follow this line of thinking to consider for our tweens and teens. If only our school district would get with the program and ban phones from bell to bell instead of their pointless "not during class" policy. I swore off teaching at the secondary level after subbing in middle and high school classrooms where kids were only pretending to do schoolwork, sometimes not even bothering to pretend, while consumed with their phones.
Thankfully there are more basic phone options on the market now for those of us who follow this line of thinking to consider for our tweens and teens. If only our school district would get with the program and ban phones from bell to bell instead of their pointless "not during class" policy. I swore off teaching at the secondary level after subbing in middle and high school classrooms where kids were only pretending to do schoolwork, sometimes not even bothering to pretend, while consumed with their phones.
October 31, 2025
Plenty of overlap with The Anxious Generation, but much easier to digest and contains lots of practical advice that I intend to implement. Some of the advice was already familiar to me, like keeping devices out of bedrooms, so those chapters were easy to breeze through. But other chapters have information and suggestions I intend to jot down before returning the book to the library.
January 8, 2026
10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High‑Tech World is exactly the kind of parenting book I appreciate: practical, well-researched, and refreshingly efficient. It’s short, well organised, and packed with evidence, but still very readable. I found myself agreeing with pretty much everything in it.
The advice is clear and sensible, without tipping into preachy or shaming territory. I really liked that the author openly acknowledged their own mistakes with tech and their kids. It makes the guidance feel realistic rather than idealised, and much easier to trust.
Reading this as an Australian parent felt especially timely. With Australia recently banning social media for under-16s, and my own kids being 8 and already pushing hard for more screen time, this book helped articulate the why behind limits my wife and I are already trying to hold. We’re on the same page about keeping tech use as limited as possible, and this gave us extra confidence in those decisions, backed by research rather than fear.
Succinct, accessible, and genuinely useful. A worthwhile read for any parent trying to raise kids in a very noisy, very high-tech world.
The advice is clear and sensible, without tipping into preachy or shaming territory. I really liked that the author openly acknowledged their own mistakes with tech and their kids. It makes the guidance feel realistic rather than idealised, and much easier to trust.
Reading this as an Australian parent felt especially timely. With Australia recently banning social media for under-16s, and my own kids being 8 and already pushing hard for more screen time, this book helped articulate the why behind limits my wife and I are already trying to hold. We’re on the same page about keeping tech use as limited as possible, and this gave us extra confidence in those decisions, backed by research rather than fear.
Succinct, accessible, and genuinely useful. A worthwhile read for any parent trying to raise kids in a very noisy, very high-tech world.
October 3, 2025
Very succinct easily digested advice for raising kids with tech. They also deliver the message without being preachy or shaming, and present their own missteps they’ve had with their kids and tech. I’ve read previous books on this topic, and while they’re great too, they have tended to dive deep into the research which can be a bit overwhelming to a parent just looking for action items. I listened to the audio for this, but plan to buy a hard copy to reference in later years. Definitely recommend to parents.
January 1, 2026
This book is a game changer as a child psychologist AND a mom!!! I learned so much and this book keeps the research and information simple and digestible for any parent to apply. 10 simple rules. I like being told what to do and this book lays out a clear outline to take a seemingly complicated yet unavoidable elephant in the room, into a surmountable feat I can tackle.
August 24, 2025
Very practical and helpful!
October 30, 2025
I read this after hearing renege speak at a conference about the crisis amongst American youth. She knows what she is talking about as the parent of three teens, but it’s scary how difficult it has been for someone as knowledgeable as she is to put these common sense rules in place. Every parent of a five year old should read this so they are prepared to provide guidance to their child before sliding down a dangerous and slippery slope
November 5, 2025
Really helpful - having two tweens myself
Thinking of buying a copy to keep around in fact (read from library)
Thinking of buying a copy to keep around in fact (read from library)
January 18, 2026
So very practical and helpful! “Don’t the perfect be the enemy of the good” will remain my mantra for handling kids and technology. It’s worth the time, effort, and even fight with my kids!
March 3, 2026
Great summary of the research along with practical tips and troubleshooting.
April 8, 2026
Very practical! Scary! Probably imperative reading for parents!
May 8, 2026
A bit down the road for me, but still good to read!
November 1, 2025
4.5 stars. As with any parenting book, some things can be tweaked for your particular kid/situation. But overall this is the best thing I’ve read out there so far.
February 1, 2026
Easy-to-read, straight forward, and practical/easy-to-follow rules on how to protect your kids' overall development while growing up in a high-tech world. Who knows what technology will look like by the time my boys are wanting their own phones, but at least I have some more information and research to back the decisions I make for them. Rule 8 (give your kids real-world freedom) was an eye-opener for me! I can definitely improve in fostering their independence (even when it's SO much easier to do it for them 🤦♀️😂).
April 18, 2026
Easy quick read with good info to think about! A lot we were implementing but great insight on next stages.
January 5, 2026
An easy and practical read for sure. It’s good timing to read it while my son is the age he is. I have time before he dives into tech stuff, and I feel more prepared for when he does.
August 10, 2025
I can't stop thinking about this book. I have really young kids but already I'm starting to think about how I want to raise them in today's world. Even at the age of 2, we get questions about if they will have tablets or not. This book was exactly the confirmation that we needed that our plans for personal devices for our kids are the right plans! I've told so many people about this book because I can't get it out of my head.
It would have been a five star read but I felt like this book was assuming a reader who didn't grow up with technology until they were in college, but I had Instagram in high school. Because of that, it already felt slightly dated.
Thanks to the publisher for an advance copy!
💫 4.5/5 Overall
It would have been a five star read but I felt like this book was assuming a reader who didn't grow up with technology until they were in college, but I had Instagram in high school. Because of that, it already felt slightly dated.
Thanks to the publisher for an advance copy!
💫 4.5/5 Overall
May 5, 2026
This was basically distilled the main recommendations of Anxious Generation, so not the most original work. Also once you have listed the 10 rules, what really is more to say?
July 23, 2025
This book is a must read for parents but also for those who want tips for balancing life in an age of smartphones! I've read other books from author Jean Twenge but this one is the most practical book she's written to date.
10 rules and they all are important.
This book is very important for the age that we live in. As most of us are distracted constantly by the little computers in our pockets and on our wrists. It's a great refresher on being aware of the tools that we use and not to be a slave to them.
I recommend this book to anyone with kids who want to raise independent adults eventually. I also recommend this to adults who want more awareness of their time and attention to their phone use.
4.5 stars!
10 rules and they all are important.
This book is very important for the age that we live in. As most of us are distracted constantly by the little computers in our pockets and on our wrists. It's a great refresher on being aware of the tools that we use and not to be a slave to them.
I recommend this book to anyone with kids who want to raise independent adults eventually. I also recommend this to adults who want more awareness of their time and attention to their phone use.
4.5 stars!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 152 reviews