You Weren't Meant to Be Human

by Andrew Joseph White

Alien meets Midsommar in this chilling debut adult novel from award-winning author Andrew Joseph White about identity, survival, and transformation amidst an alien invasion in rural West Virginia.

Festering masses of worms and flies have taken root in dark corners across Appalachia. In exchange for unwavering loyalty and fresh corpses, these hives offer a few struggling humans salvation. A fresh start. It’s an offer that none refuse.

Crane is grateful. Among his hive’s followers, Crane has found a chance to transition, to never speak again, to live a life that won’t destroy him. He even met Levi: a handsome ex-Marine and brutal killer who treats him like a real man, mostly. But when Levi gets Crane pregnant—and the hive demands the child’s birth, no matter the cost—Crane’s desperation to make it stop will drive the community that saved him into a devastating spiral that can only end in blood.

You Weren’t Meant to Be Human is a deeply personal horror; a visceral statement about the lives of marginalized people in a hostile world, echoing the works of Stephen Graham Jones and Eric LaRocca.

Genres: Horror, Queer, LGBT, Fiction, Science Fiction, Adult, Fantasy

330 pages, Hardcover

First published September 9, 2025

About the author

Andrew Joseph White is the trans, autistic, and bestselling author of Hell Followed With Us, The Spirit Bares Its Teeth, Compound Fracture, and You Weren't Meant to be Human. Born and raised in the Shenandoah Valley, he received his MFA in Creative Writing from George Mason University, and lives in Virginia with his wife and their antisocial cat.

He can be found at andrewjosephwhite.com or on Twitter and Instagram at @AJWhiteAuthor.

Reviews

[Andrew White]

Hey y’all - Andrew here. These are the content warnings for YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN.

A quick reminder that this is my first adult book. It is about reproductive abuse, pregnancy as violence, self-destruction, loss of agency, and every nasty feeling I as the author have ever carried with me as an autistic trans man, especially since the fall of Roe v. Wade in 2022. If you put this in the YA section, I’m going to get in trouble. Thank you.

Content Warnings
* Infanticide involving cannibalism
* Graphic depictions of pregnancy and childbirth as violence and body horror; on-page early stillbirth with subsequent desecration of corpse; on-page botched DIY abortion
* Narrative focus on suicidality and planning suicide, with no attempt made; similar focus on self-harm, shown on-page (disfigurement via scalding)
* Consistently unclear sexual boundaries and consent, up to and including rape, often involving confusion on behalf of the survivor
* Sexual fantasies/intrusive thoughts involving abuse and bestiality
* Domestic abuse
* Graphic violence
* Emetophobia warning
* Weird parasitic bug shit, needles, general transphobia and ableism, etc.

These content warnings can also be found on my website, with a more general version included in the author's note at the beginning of the book.

[Ally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hi yeah I get to read this early because I’m married to the author, so doing my duty as the Andrew Joseph Wife and writing a review

I’m just gonna get this out there now and say I promise he’s better now. I knew his Sophie back in the day and even if I didn’t realize how bad it was back then, I lived 90 minutes away and only saw him in the summer, I can see how much better he is now and I’m so fucking proud of him. I hope that writing this exorcised something but if you read all this and said “my god the author is one sick fuck” I can say with complete certainty: he’s better now and I love him more than I will ever be able to put into words.

He is one sick fuck though, but he’s MY sick fuck.
Because this story is vulgar, violent, disgusting, and so incredibly necessary. It's a horror show you want to look away from and unfortunately it's people's lives right this minute, because the talking worms might not be real, but the anger and fear and trauma and circumstances that drive Crane into their...arms? Tentacles? Segments? is all too relevant, and the least we can do is not look away.

Love you babe, and I’m so glad we made it to where we are now

[Brittany’sBoundByBloodBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book burrowed into my brain like a parasitic worm
and I let it. 🪱



Andrew Joseph White’s adult debut is a festering, fearless plunge into the body, horror hive, mind, equal parts Alien, Midsommar, and a blood slicked mirror held up to gender, autonomy, and the monsters we carry inside. It’s not just spine chilling, it’s spine snapping.

Set in the rot veined hills of rural Appalachia, the story follows Crane, a trans man who’s traded the violence of the outside world for the twisted promise of the Hive, a grotesque organism offering transformation in exchange for loyalty and, well, fresh meat. In the Hive’s embrace, Crane finds the only kind of peace he’s ever known… until he becomes pregnant by Levi, a fellow devotee with a mean streak and a martyr complex. The Hive wants Crane’s baby. Crane wants out. The result? A very messy breakup, of bodies, minds, and whatever was left of trust.

This isn’t your average alien invasion story. It’s more womb than boom, and the horror hits from the inside out. White makes you feel every squirm of self-loathing, every twist of dysphoria, every pang of betrayal. Crane isn’t just fighting monsters, he’s fighting the biology that betrayed him, the man who used him, and the community that calls that salvation.

The prose is rich with rot, lyrical in its decay. Characters bleed vulnerability and barbed trauma, especially Crane, whose arc is as gutting as it is cathartic. Levi, on the other hand, can get in the bin, preferably one full of flies. 🪰

Make no mistake, this book is grotesque, gory, and gorgeously written. It crawls with trigger warnings, body horror, nonconsensual pregnancy, identity trauma, and a swarm of emotional landmines. It’s hard to read, harder to forget, and impossible not to admire.

If you like your horror personal, political, and soaked in viscera, You Weren’t Meant to Be Human will absolutely eat you alive and you’ll thank it.

Expected Publication: September 9, 2025

[Teru · Rating 5 out of 5]

🪱HAPPY RELEASE DAY!!🪰

Staring at the wall mode activated. Jaw still a bit dropped. No thoughts, just feelings. Most of them bad. Bad in the best way possible.

You Weren’t Meant To Be Human was one of my most anticipated releases of this year, as it’s AJW’s debut adult novel. Given how amazing (and amazingly disturbing) his YA stories are, I knew this was going to be a new level of fucked up. I KNEW.

Oh boy. I had no idea. YWMTBH is the kind of book that brutally carves its way into your mind and nestles there whether you want it to or not. It doesn’t need your permission.

To sum it up without spoiling anything, Crane is a mute, autistic, trans man who’s...going through stuff. He’s not okay, to say the least. He’s also a part of a cult, the hive (imagine a sentient alien mass of worms and flies - lovely). The hive saved Crane, it loves him, it gives him a place to be himself. Then Crane finds out that he’s pregnant. He very much doesn’t want to be, fuck off, thank you very much. No way in hell.
The problem is, the hive that loves Crane so much, demands his pregnancy to be carried to term...

It’s the heaviest, most revolting book I’ve picked up in a damn while. And that’s exactly what I wanted, call me a weirdo. This is what I expect when I read an adult horror. I want it to horrify me thoroughly, and not with made-up monsters. To make me read in intervals because I frequently have to stop just to breathe. To shock me without feeling like scenes have been written solely for the shock value.

This will hit especially hard for everyone with a womb for whom pregnancy has always been something absolutely unwanted, a body horror in itself. It’s a horrifying scenario for me; I can’t even imagine what it’s like for a trans man. Oh wait, now I can...

The story is written so masterfully that it provokes visceral reactions. You’ll feel disgust, fear, helpless rage, utter misery...maybe even an uncomfortable arousal at times. (Fuck I had to read this clutching my emotional support plushy - and I didn’t even know I had one till now lol)

Nevertheless, I can always trust AJW to lead us through muck and gore and misery to a terrible, yet cathartic conclusion. And the very personal Acknowledgments at the end just about killed me, my heart was put through a goddamn wringer, that’s for sure...

I don’t even know who to recommend this to. Probably to people who like to stare long and hard at things that terrify them, to make themselves squirm. If you DO pick it up, do yourself a favor and look up all the CWs on Andrew’s page - they’re not only numerous, but are explored thoroughly and in detail. Read the book, but be mentally prepared (at least a bit).

So, I utterly hated this book. I also need to build an altar for my future physical copy. And I would love to sit every pro-lifer and transphobe down and read this to them over and over again till they’re sick.

I’m already dreading the next adult story AJW cooks up, and I’ll buy and read it anyway. 🖤🖤

Massive thank you to Christine Calella from Simon&Schuster/Saga Press for kindly allowing me to read this as an e-ARC through Netgalley. I may or may not have cried.

[Court Zierk · Rating 2 out of 5]

⭐️ ⭐️

I must exist in a separate dimension from everyone else who’s read this book. A dimension several clicks to the left where this book is coherent and well-formed. A dimension where the story is decipherable and the characters have depth and texture. A dimension where the plot makes sense and where there’s more to it than just shock and brutality. A dimension where the triggering of latent trauma isn’t its only purpose.

Because in my dimension it’s none of those things, and I feel remorse for the time I made my brain spend decoding its scrambled pieces.

[Ricarda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was wondering how Andrew Jospeh White's adult debut could possibly be worse than his already very brutal and gory YA books, but this was indeed on another level entirely. Mpreg worm horror really is no joke (I loved it.)

[Brandon Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jesus!!! This was an allegorical, parasitic/wormy story all about the horrors of the loss of bodily autonomy, and the world’s ever growing hatred toward trans people.

****Mild spoiler warning ahead-

I mostly found this to be deeply upsetting, with a handful of moments of extremely graphic gore, r*pe, torture, self harm, pregnancy horror, and other horrific things.

I don’t know what to think of the end. It’s VERY transgressive and disturbing, and I guess I was just hoping it wouldn’t go there, but yeah, it’s horrid and awful and it *really* went there.

[DianaRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

a favorite read of 2025🩵

deeply disturbing, disgusting, and horrifyingly dark.

4.95 stars — i’m removing that .05 stars because even though i read and appreciated the tw (WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING!), the last 10% deeply deeply upset me — but isn’t that the entire point andrew jospeh white is making? the last 10% also reminded me of toni morrison’s beloved (which i do not say lightly as beloved is one of my favorite classics), and left me thinking about parenthood, sacrifices, and the concept of innocence for a long while.

this is my first horror novel by andrew jospeh white and i am blown away at his first adult horror novel, especially after solely writing YA horror — i just can only imagine how much darker his craft and writing would be without the liberty of adult readers — AJW must paint a beautifully gruesome picture of horror with different rules for a younger set of readers.

you weren’t meant to be human contained arguably the worst type of body horror: nonconsensual pregnancies. and not to mention: lots and lots of trauma, not only as a woman, but as a trans man who is forced to carry a pregnancy to term. AJW writes despair and desperation in such a way that you feel it worming its way into your own body (pun intended).

overall, this was horrifying and i WILL be reading AJW’s backlist

[Starr ❇✌❇ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeeeaaarrr gooodddddddd
*Review to come*

Pre-review comments below
me: ooh new Andrew Joseph White! I bet this is gonna be good!

synopsis: "about a trans young man aiding in the covert invasion of a parasitic alien species called the Infestation, until an unwanted pregnancy puts his own future at risk"

me: I'M GONNA EXPLODE ACTUALLY

[Marieke (mariekes_mesmerizing_books) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy … What a book.
Just like Andrew Joseph White’s YA stories, this one is not for the faint of heart. Just take the anxiety and horror from those and multiply it. I wouldn’t call ‘You Weren’t Meant to Be Human’ only horror, though, more similar to D.C. Drew’s stories.

What do you do to get accepted by society when you want to be yourself so badly? This story feels like one about a cult. At first, you feel valued—and included. But then the discomfort kicks in. But hey, you’re still accepted, even though deep down you know all those things that are happening aren’t normal. And then you’re forced to do things against your will, like keeping the baby instead of getting an abortion.

From the moment I started reading, I wanted to pull Crane away from that hive and hug him. I hated, loathed, despised Levi, and I almost wanted to strangle that guy. I wanted Crane to stay with Birdy and Aspen. But like with all cults, Crane just couldn’t escape. And the thing is, not everything was bad for him. Not all people seemed bad all the time. And still … what about consent, what about permission, what about freedom? By the time I got to the Third Trimester, my chest flooded with pain. Oh, sweet, sweet Crane … a knot formed in my throat and I only wanted to yell, “No Crane, it’s not perfect. You’re a good person.”

And then those parts about Sophie. They felt incredibly personal, especially knowing that Andrew Joseph White has a past as a Sophie too.

When I was reading ‘The Spirit Bares Its Teeth,’ I had to look away sometimes, step off the operating table because it just got too much. The same with this story. As a mom, reading the final part was hard, but I understood why Crane did what he did. That ending left a lump in my throat. And the acknowledgments just destroyed me. The lump turned into big, fat tears.

Thank you, Andrew, for giving us this story. For showing us how you felt back then. I’m so happy you’re in a better place now.

Thank you, Saga Press and NetGalley, for this twisted and sick and one of the most discomforting stories I’ve ever read. I’ll never forget Crane and his Sophie.

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[Gyalten Lekden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know where to start. There is a scene in the very early pages of the book that isn’t particularly graphic but has such emotional weight that I had to put the book down for a moment to remind myself to breathe. This novel is unapologetic and brutal, but it never for a moment feels exploitative or like it is pushing boundaries or being shocking just for the sake of it. As you get lost in this story you get the clear sensation that if there were any other way this story could be told, it would have been. This actually makes the story more visceral, more claustrophobic, more intimate. There is a truth here, and it is painful and dirty and violent and, yet, undeniable. Reading AJW’s young-adult novels forced me to reconsider what exactly “young-adult” means and contains, and here he defiantly displays that the horror and violence and dysregulation in those is, in fact, tame compared to the emotional devastation he is capable of.

I think AJW’s characters are great, as usual. The ancillary characters are all described and experienced from the perspective of the main character, and so none of them are as fleshed out as he is, but they still feel like genuine people. Given the story and the setting, they all make sense in this environment, and I can picture them and recognize them. The main character, Crane, is incredible. So much of his life is an enigma even to himself, but there is an emotional honesty to his character that is sometimes painful to witness. He is complicated and committed and I loved every broken part of him. Everything about this situation—the desperation, the loneliness, the isolation—they all add up to subtle but impressive world-building. What I think I appreciated the most is the lack of detail about the swarm, how they came to be and infiltrate people’s lives. There is a version of this story where you find out the swarm is a metaphor, the many buzzing faces of a crime syndicate that exploits the marginalized and downtrodden, and nothing about the story has to change. I like that. There is another version of this story where the swarm is actually just the status quo, the allure of a performative cishet-normativity that can convince us to act against our best interest in exchange for things feeling easier, at least on the surface. I choose to believe the literal description of this alien(?) swarm, but I am impressed by the ambiguity. Because the swarm is a disease, it feasts on our hopes and dreams, it infects us and offers chains and calls them mercies.

The writing in this novel feels deeply personal. It pulls the reader in and makes you complicit, holding a hand over your mouth not just to muffle your screams but because sometimes the world is easier to deal with when it starts to go grey around the edges. In all of that, there is a poetry to it, a sense of direction and a confidence in the prose that convinces the reader that this story is going exactly where it needs to, to its only possible outcome. The pacing is smart, building in intensity as the due date approaches, with a comfortable balance of action and silence. The story is so isolated and claustrophobic that there isn’t a lot of narrative action, but there is always a sense of movement, an inevitability, which highlights the uniquely internal journey that is the messy heart of the story. It didn’t end the way I expected it to, but as I turned the last page it was clear that it was exactly what it needed to be. I haven’t had such a confusing, competing set of simultaneous emotions in a while, and the juxtaposition of a gloomy cloud cover and a piercing, snow-blind brilliance was pitch perfect.

This story is about a lot of things. Knowing yourself, and your worth and value, is one of them. But being able to discover that and affirm it when it feels like the whole world is against you is another, and there is an uncompromising compassion for that struggle, too. Ideas of power and control, identity and presentation, protection and comfort, acceptance and support, these all have a role to play in this story. Yet nothing about this story feels like it is force-feeding you anything, nor lecturing nor sermonizing. There is an unflinching dignity that underlies this story, and for all of the themes or ideas it is playing with it ultimately stands on its own as representing nothing but itself. It might turn your stomach, but it won’t let you look away.

I want to thank the author, the publisher Saga Press, and NetGalley, who provided a complimentary eARC for review. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Incunabula_and_intercourse · Rating 2 out of 5]

...boy, all my worst predictions were proven correct.
While I don't like White's YA books, I didn't want to hate this one; I was sincerely hoping that a book aimed at a more mature audience with a new editor at a new imprint would turn him into the horror author I always wanted him to be. Instead, all it did was prove that this man can't write real adult fiction; he only knows how to write YA unsuitable for children. Also, Joe Monti let me down, so I guess Black Sun was only good because of Rebecca Roanhorse.

I'm consistently impressed with White's ability to repackage the same book in a different coat of gore and pretend it's a new story. For fun, I played along with a homemade bingo card of recurrent AJW tropes (tell vs show, trans woman who mothers the MC, constant use of the MC's deadname, skinny white MC, 1-dimensional side characters, no PoC, a fakeout straight love interest who misgenders the MC, etc.), and one misused semicolon on page 142 got me double bingo. Granted, I'm impressed it took that long to find a typo; Saga Press has actual standards, in comparison to Peachtree's lack of care and habit of letting typos and wrongly-formatted quotation marks go to print.

White did fuck all to meaningfully mature his writing style. His prose still assumes you, the reader, are a moron ("He is a crepuscular animal; not nocturnal or diurnal, but something in the middle instead" I know how to look up big words, Andrew; "Right there there. There's the motherfucker who did this to him. That's the man who came in him, whose cock knocked him up and put him here" yes Crane that's how conception works). The humor is still juvenile-level "just add fuck" and Tumblresque quips about lol autism lol landlords lol cis men (who apparently never deal with the consequences of having a baby, as if anti-miscegenation laws and forced breeding of enslaved people never existed) lol the VP has a brain eating amoeba lol space lasers (without a single mention of the Jews who get blamed for those lasers. Fuck you, Andrew). The bad guys (the Hive, Levi) are still cartoonishly evil with no redeeming qualities who say "fuck" all the time, beat their boyfriends, and don't even tip. The side characters are still paper-flat. The one improvement is that Crane is fucked up and petty and cruel, but his constant hand-wringing ruins it—as does how much he mentions that he's autistic and he's being an autist and you know how autism is and that's what autistic kids do. Yes, Crane, I know how autism is, because I have a vaster understanding of the world than a high schooler and can read between the lines. Literally the only thing "adult" about this book is the gratuitous sex; the second chapter (and first real one, because I'm not counting a one-sentence chapter that does nothing but state the obvious conclusion we reached by reading the blurb) begins with a dubcon sex scene so that you know this is a grown up book for grown ups!!! No kids allowed!!!!!

This shit is, in the words of my girlfriend, googoogaga ass writing. Real adult fiction trusts you; it presents you with moral quandaries and complicated relationships without telling you how to feel; it drops big words like "soporific" and "baryonic" and expects you to keep up. Perhaps I'd be less frustrated if I wasn't fresh off Where Are You Really From, a short story collection that's fucked up and gnarly and full of mean, petty characters who never need to soliloquize about how they feel because they're too busy fussing over their mail-order brides' academics or sabotaging their doppelganger's love life. Perhaps if I read nothing but YA novels and Bluesky threads and AO3 porn, I'd be impressed.

I actually liked some parts! Chapter 12 was a great snapshot of pregnancy dysphoria and domestic squabbling overlaid with petty violence for violence's sake, and if I ignored Levi's moustache-twirling dialogue, I could actually have the experience I came here for. Unfortunately, it's stuffed in between redundant soliloquys and flashbacks to Crane's childhood as Sophie; all these do is confirm the information we already know—Crane is traumatized and masochistic and autistic and dysphoric and violent and and and. All the flashbacks to his childhood only serve to make this feel more like YA. There is a phenomenal novella hidden beneath the bloat, but I guess novellas don't pay the bills, and if you're already writing the same book for the fourth time...

The ending underwhelmed. I already knew about the baby cannibalism, and I was actually really excited to read it! Imagine my disappointment when it wasn't an act of post-partum hatred for the role Crane was forced to play, but a fucking mercy kill to protect his baby from the Hive, who want this specific baby for some really unconvincing reason. For a supposedly adult horror novel, it's still rather tame and defanged, because god forbid a rape victim feel any resentment towards his unwanted baby. It's Beloved we have at home, only Beloved actually deals with the aftermath of said mercy killing rather than waste it on a shock-value climax. I don't need to wonder why the blurb didn't use that book as a comp; it's about the aftermath of chattel slavery, making this the third time White has given his white characters trauma specific to Black people without a single character of color in any book post Hell Followed With Us, which itself appropriated Jewish mythology and trauma specific to religious minorities (but with plenty of virtue signaling about how evil white people are so that he can sleep at night). Like, cool, you're not the KKK, but you're still doing a tasteless Irish jig in a pair of rainbow brogues. The rocky road to publishing, one two three four five...

I fear that White is never going to be the author I want him to be. He's never going to write for people with reading comprehension, never going to craft a three-dimensional villain, never going to venture beyond trauma porn for skinny white autistic trans boys and men like himself. Might as well throw in the towel.

~~~

Pre-publication thoughts: I don't have high hopes for AJW as a YA author, but considering this was sold to an editor whose ethos I respect under an imprint whose works I've generally adored, and that this is adult... I have curiously high hopes. Perhaps White only wrote like that in his earlier novels because his editors at Peachtree Teen insisted he talk down to his teenage audience, and perhaps Joe Monti (who basically made Rebecca Roanhorse rewrite Black Sun into a stronger version of itself) can whip this book into shape and bring forward White's strengths while playing down the flat characterization and condescending prose of his previous works. Genuinely, I want to be pleasantly surprised.
ETA, 1/29/2025: Blurb dropped recently, and... Oh my god, this just sounds like his other books. The cult, the implied repro horror, the quiet and (probably) meek/scared protagonist, the asshole cop-out male love interest who's vaguely transphobic... I'm also worried about the setting being Appalachia. Normally I wouldn't mind, but there's been a pattern with BIPOC rep in AJW's last two books--namely, that after going out of his way to include numerous named characters of color in Hell Followed With Us and receiving a mixed reception due to his clumsy execution, he's pivoted twice in a row to settings that let him write all-white casts (falsely, I might add: Victorian London was a multiracial metropolis for centuries, and Appalachia being mostly white doesn't mean it's all white). Rather than learning from his previous mistakes and taking time to write three-dimensional BIPOC, he's just... not done that; I'm deathly afraid that this book is gonna be another all-white affair--and worse, just a rehash of AJW's previous works but with graphic sex this time.
Joe Monti, please prove me wrong--

[Sidney · Rating 5 out of 5]

dark. disturbing & visceral but so so so good. this was my first dive into AJWs work & I'm currently writing this review with one hand & ordering his backlist with the other. I need more ASAP. this was amazing, I'm honestly pissed at myself for taking so long to read something of his. i was completely engrossed, i read the first 55% in one sitting which is usually not like me.

with the state of the world right now, especially with politics, this definitely hits harder. I couldn't even imagine going through what crane went through being a trans man & being forced to carry to full term. I could really feel how hopeless he felt throughout the whole book. my heart really broke for him, by the end I was holding back tears. he deserved soooo much better & I was ready to jump into the pages & beat Levi's ass!

the writing was incredible, the body horror is gross, the hive & its minions are disturbed. the last 10% had me messed up, I was U P S E T! I can't wait to read more from AJW.

Trigger Warnings; body horror, cannibalism, forced pregnancy, graphic violence, domestic abuse, transphobia, gore, questionable consent & rape, stillbirth, abortion, suicidal ideation, ableism, self-harm & self-mutilation. Mentions of: bestiality, imprisonment.

Thank you to NetGalley & the publisher for this arc in exchange for an honest review

[bri]

Andrew Joseph White has become quite the horror phenomenon since his debut, well-known for his poignant, thoughtful young adult stories full of gore, trans rage, and cutting commentary. And his foray into the adult literary world delivers no less than the expectations his previous work promises.

YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN explores the politicalization of the body, emphasizing the way “othered” bodies are turned into battlegrounds or prisons or tools by governing bodies, individual and collective. It asks questions about control, self-determination, and freedom under systems of oppression. And it does so with exquisite, multi-layered, heart-wrenching storytelling.

I got to read an early version of this book as a sensitivity reader, and it was such an honor to catch a glimpse behind the curtain of White’s brilliance. Though this book is unbelievably nauseating and–as is standard in White’s work–unflinching (I had to get a lot of fresh air while reading this one, do not read it around a meal), it truly captures the heart of horror. It's hard to peel apart the many elements of this story for examination, as its tendrils all tangle together, themes and messages and plots and characters all bleeding into one narrative entity. I regularly experienced multiple feelings at once, often even contrasting ones, while trying to digest this squirming tale. But at the end, per usual for an AJW book, I was left agog, comforted, empowered, and grossed out in equal measure.

CW: pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, cannibalism, insects, suicidal ideation, self-mutilation, sexual content, sexual violence/dub-con sexual content, abusive relationship, murder, blood & gore, dead body, injury detail, emesis, dysphoria, transphobia (including internalized), drowning, slurs, deadnaming, infidelity, needles, death by cancer (past), war (past)

[Rachel (TheShadesofOrange) · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 Stars
I have loved this author's previous novels so I am sad to say that this one did not work for me.

This is not a matter of alignment on the social issues but instead my personal feelings towards literature that explores pregnancy, labour and menstrual cycles. I feel like few books handle these subjects in ways I appreciate and these ones are not part of that small group.

Overall, I just failed to connect with this story and I can only speak from my own experience. I suspect this book will resonate more with readers who see themselves in these characters so I would recommend this one to readers looking for an ownvoices perspective.

Disclaimer I received a copy of this book from the publisher.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Loss of bodily autonomy is a frequent theme in horror. To not only lose control over your own flesh, but to have it actively working against you is the most horrific thing I can imagine.

So why does a book featuring my vision of hell bore me to tears?

You Weren't Meant to Be Human starts with one sentence announcing Crane, main character and transman, is unknowingly three months pregnant. It immediately cuts to a detailed description of Crane getting railed by his boyfriend. Two things become clear very quickly: first, Crane does not understand the difference between S&M and abuse; and second, he should have started seeing a therapist years ago.

Rather than seeking therapy, Crane gave himself over to a vermiform hive mind—and then is shocked when it makes it clear that yes, it was serious about controlling Crane and it will force him to continue with the pregnancy.

White could have made the story truly horrifying by chronicling the constant, insidious changes Crane is forced to undergo, but he instead focuses on telling the reader about Crane's misery and describing violence in a way that reads like bargain-basement splatterpunk.

There is never any explanation or exploration of the hive mind. The creatures could have been replaced by a human cult and the story would not have been substantively different. Heck, White could have made Crane's abusive boyfriend the sole antagonist and very little would have changed.

Oh, and the ending? Daft.

Received via NetGalley.

[jay · Rating 2 out of 5]

… and i wasn’t meant to be reading this


i just don’t vibe with AJW. i didn’t like any of his YA stuff but then i just hate YA in general so i thought, hey maybe his adult release will be better! - nope.

all of it from writing over plot to characters just fell flat to me. was the pregnancy disgusting? yes but that’s just cause pregnancies are very yucky anyway i‘m sorry to say? the worm theme wasn’t even necessary - and was way too under explored at any rate - this whole thing would have worked exactly the same if it was just the abusive relationship. what even was the hives deal, would have loved some more insights into that. or maybe not, i didn’t actually care that much.

this was also a drag to get through (though not as much as the YA ones) so i think that’s enough AJW for me for this lifetime.

[ღ CarlyTski ࿐ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm tired of the idea that being as disgusting and disturbing as possible equals good horror. It doesn't. I'm all for queer horror but this book is revolting.

[Bookslayer420 · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was ok. it's definitely not "aliens meets midsommer" like it's advertised. The worms are just a backdrop to what feels like the author's gooner-brained fetishes. the graphic content felt performative.

[Lexi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I want to start by saying I am VERY into trans lit and dark trans lit. In terms of transgressive queer fiction, Torrey peters, hailey piper and Mia ballad feel more grown up to me and are more interesting and write better characters, so I am going to clown on AJW a little, but this is more about taste for me.

Despite hearing about how visceral and awesome he is at horror, I have avoided the author like the plague. The facts of all this books just read massively cringe most of the time. His first book, Hell followed us in particular was unbelievably cringe with the actual line “Nick is gorgeous, autistic, and a deadly shot” on its back cover. That alone I was like- do I want to fuck with this dorks writing???

I think there are some elements this author that make him want to just kind of write every character to be a little bit like him, and he clearly gets a lot of excitement from this. His characters are waify little white trans guys who are also autistic- every single one of them. I get “writing what you know” but at some point you need to try to write something beyond that experience. Crane, the main character, and in fact only be defined by those traits himself. He’s trans and autistic. I guess you could also argue that he has an abuse kink, but he’s certainly not a whole person, nor is anyone in this book. They are either built to move the plot forward or speak for the main character (who is mute) OR they are a collection of uncomplicated stereotypes.

AJW can not seem to break out of these habits obsessively. The same main character, the same general setting, and the same focus on intimate communities or cults. And the power is all in the actual horror because it most certainly is not in storytelling.


There’s a lot about this piece of work that just feels like a weird identity obsessed leftist who is a little bit childish- a little bit ironic because the subject matter is super dark. There’s a line in this book about “oh why don’t you draw yourself killing a billionaire or something”, when two characters are in art class together and that pretty much sums up that.

I really like reading trans fiction, and I would say I read a lot of it. I read a lot of intimate trans fiction and I read fun stuff as well. I really liked the trans horror element of a guy who is forced to be pregnant. It reminds me a little bit of I saw the TV glow in elements of transgender horror that truly speak to darkness and pain that is specific to trans people. Not just male pregnancy, but Crane's mentality around himself pre transition and his relationships to his femme presenting self's memory is really beautiful and haunting.

And then along with it, you get really cringe lines of dialogue and hand fisted hot takes. You get an unbelievably insufferable main character who has friends that feel like they were plucked out of a box of stereotypes of trans people.

I feel like maybe I am too grown for this authors work (I know this his technically his first adult novel) because his books read like the edgy musings of a baby queer who just picked up the communist manifesto for the first time.

I’m not saying that Andrew Joseph White is doing anything wrong here. I think that a lot of people can read this and find it relatable or likable in some way. I just don’t really connect with it.

But the horror elements were really cool, and that’s why, well I find a lot of this book sort of cringe and childish, I still read it very quickly and didn’t really have any moments where I was getting bored. The blood guts and gore are phenomenal if you’re into that kind of thing. The psychological transgender horror elements are also really good as I said. The level that AJW takes the depravity to is surprisingly high for a mainstream book.


Would I recommend recommended this book? I think so for the most part? It wasn’t necessarily bad as much as it annoyed me half of the time. I’m probably not gonna pick anything up by this author unless like this, it comes from a subscription or I get it for free. I just think that we have fundamentally different interests and experiences and there is a part of me that groans a little reading this, though I don’t know if that’s my problem or not. Regardless, if you love weirdo fiction, splatterpunk, or transgressive queer lit, I would at least give this one try. It is the authors first non YA so it will probably be more accessible than some of his other work.

[Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first venture into Andrew Joseph White’s writing but once I heard that it’s being compared to Midsommar, Alien, and the author Eric LaRocca—three amazing comparisons for my reading interest—I knew that I needed to prioritize. Thank you @sagapresspressbooks and @librofm for my finished copy and audiobook copy! ⁣
⁣
Andrew Joseph White’s YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO HE HUMAN is a raw, unsettling story that pushes horror into deeply personal territory. Set in rural Appalachia, it follows Crane, a trans man who joins the Hive, a community promising belonging at a brutal cost. What begins as refuge turns into a nightmare of forced transformation, betrayal, and the impossible choice of carrying a child he never wanted. The Hive may offer safety, but it demands everything in return.⁣
⁣
This is not a book for the faint of heart. Seriously, it’s one of the most twisted books I’ve ever encountered in my life. White twists body horror, identity, and cult-like devotion into a story that feels as intimate as it is terrifying. I chose to listen to the audiobook and I think this was the most incredible narration I have ever listened to. I was actually scared!! No joke. That has never happened to me via audiobook before. Max Meyers—phenomenal job!⁣
⁣
Crane’s struggle is one of survival, not only against the monsters around him but against the biology and people who claim ownership of his body. Visceral, unflinching, and strangely beautiful, YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO HE HUMAN leaves its mark long after the last page is turned.

[Mikey ಠ◡ಠ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stagger is my hear me out. I will not be taking any questions or feedback at this time, thank you.

[CarlysGrowingTBR · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like dark horror that leaves you a mere shell of yourself at the end, then this is for you.

Book Stats:
📖: 320 pages
Genre: Adult Horror
Publisher: Saga Press
Format: Physical arc from the publisher
Series: Standalone

Themes:
💫: Anger
💫: Reproductive rights
💫: Invisibility of Trans Men in talks of reproductive rights/pregnancy

Representation:
🩸: Trans MC
🩸: Appalachian Setting
🩸: Autistic Main Character
🩸: Queer characters


Tropes:
💗: Creepy Crawlies
💗: Hive Mind

🥵: Spice: 🚫
Potential Triggers: Violence, murder, domestic violence, suicidal ideation, Transphobia and much more **check authors page/socials for full list.

General Thoughts:
Andrew Joseph White never misses. It's impossible for him to write a bad book in my opinion.

This book was a visceral experience that I don't think I'll ever be able to get over. This book tackles some very hard but important topics and themes in a very dark and in your face way. There were multiple times during this book that I questioned my ability to finish. The storyline and feel for our main character kept me reading.

The trauma that weeps off the page was a whole body experience from head to intestines. Watching Crane fight not only himself and his demons but the world who sees him as expendable and for personal use was horrific on a new level.

There was not a singular moment within this novel where I was comfortable. Every page brought new devastation, loathing and betrayal. The ending left me hollow and broken.

This is one of the best books I've read this year. If you are a fan of the darkest horror that leaves you dread and hate filled. Read this.

Disclaimer: I read this book as a physical ARC from the publisher. All opinions are my own. This is my honest and voluntary review.

[River · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5

Oh child, this world was not made for ones like you. Come with us, come with us, come with us.

I told myself I would just read until the end of the first part, then just until the end of the second part, and then I gave in and decided to devour this entire book whole because it is one of the most phenomenal things I have ever read. I knew Andrew Joseph White would deliver, but I never counted on how visceral and howling it would be. It draws from the reader such a pitiful sound, the low baying of an injured dog, the frightened whine of a slow death. It is so animal and raw. It is disgusting in all the most perfect and painful ways. It is an unbelievable work of art.

This is absolutely not a book I would recommend to everyone (please check the content warnings, it is an incredibly dark and all-consuming horror), but for the people who read the blurb and feel the familiarity of that horror in their gut, this book will take from you everything that you are and you will thank every word. This isn't just a book that bleeds; it's an infected wound weeping pus; it's smeared entrails across a bathroom wall; it's a bright red warning sign that a cave has collapsed in on and swallowed whole. It is gritty and ravenous and refuses to apologise for it. It is awful and complicated, as are the characters, but it never once begs for forgiveness.

The characters in this story are truly incredible creations. They are jagged and real, carved out of shrapnel and scavenged blades; they are cruel and they are aching. They are so many conflicting traits, wrapped up together with string and given a body to house them. They are in desperate search of understanding and will take, when that true warmth is outside of their reach, that imperfect familiarity of a gun to the temple. The comfort of a cruel familiar.

Crane is such a brilliant character. I adored him, in all his complexities and self-hatred, I adored every element of his construction. He is a jumbled mess of loathing and desire, he cannot discern the shape of a kindness that does not exist nor the callousness that cloaks itself in the shape of otherness. He mistakes that same old gun barrel for an open and comforting weight. He mistakes recognition for freedom and understanding for affection. He likes the emptiness of a world in which he does not have to think, a world in which choice is stripped from his bones and the thoughts that plague him are put to rest by another commanding voice. He desires pain, because he believes he deserves it, because it makes his body feel and look like less of a body, and because it proves he is strong. There is the irony of shock when others discover that he, too, has learned this casual cruelty.

Through this compelling and fascinating (and often chilling) characterisation we encounter Crane. He is finally a version of himself that better fits. The hive has given him this, the hive has cared for him, the hive has saved him. But when Crane discovers that he is pregnant, this world he has thought of as his protector quickly betrays all the trust he has stored within it.
The hive is worms the size of arms feasting on flesh, flies picking at the remaining carrion. It loves Crane. It gave him everything that he is. It saved him. But that does not stop it from forcing upon him the worst pain it could ever inflict.

I adored how intrinsically Crane's transness and autism were woven into the story. Every decision that he made was laden with the weight of a world that hungered and licked its teeth at the sight of his suffering. He would rather be something different, he would rather be something monstrous. It's that insatiable instinct, the one he has conditioned himself into thinking that he wants. Fear and pain and desire a twisted web in his mind. He wants to be made into something useful; a man with blood on his hands instead of the terrified girl he had seen in his reflection for so long. He wants the assured certainty of the hive's control. But the creature that has made him holds above his head the power to unmake him also. He can be unwound so easily. It is so effortless when he has already yielded to them his choice.
Perhaps in another world, he would not have been driven into the soothing arms of the hive. Perhaps he would have had better access to healthcare, to information, to compassion. There is a world in which Crane does not have to experience the struggles of this leaching, but this is not that world. This is a place whetted and formed on the decisions of our present, a world that established a sorrow so deep that it would have condemned him with or without the hive. It is a cautionary tale and a fierce and deafening cry. Death is the choice we see made over and over again, death over their forced reality. You cannot ban abortion, you can only ban safe abortions is a screaming truth all throughout. It is not a simple thing for Crane to know that he is losing the battle of his life to the covenant of the hive.

The outside matches the inside. Something's wrong here, it says, tread with caution, I beg you.

I found so riveting the pulsing and rotten relationships that the hive created. It was an incessant reminder of another relationship in the novel, sharing that same manipulative and abusive kinship.
The hive searches for the desperate and it offers them a glimpse of freedom. They become the hive and the hive becomes them. They are one being now, caught in the tendrils of flesh between teeth, hidden in a home that is stained crimson. There is no leaving the hive. Why would they want to defect now that they have been saved, now that they have been given exactly what they asked for? Why wouldn't they choose these gilded bars over the hobbling shackles of before?

But, as we are to find out in more ways than one, a warped and twisted 'love' does not mean there is ever true care for a person. Crane finding someone who can understand him does not mean that they will shelter him. It is the clawing need for this vicious comfort that eats at Crane's chest and stirs the bile in his stomach. He knows this relationship he is in is not one of love, but there is a sharp relief in the intimacy of pain. There is affirmation in surviving humiliation. There is a frantic need for destruction. He knows this is not love, but he does not think it is hate. Not yet.

My favourite relationship in the entire book was probably Crane and Jess's fraught and tangled mess of emotions. They are so cleverly paralleled. They both look at each other and see the horrors of the past and the nauseating ravines of the future. Jess is everything Crane had once hated, everything that he thought he had left behind; Crane is the ominous promise of what is to come. Neither one can stomach it. It is a confused hatred and a disgusted shout. They are as the same as they are unerringly different. Jess is a narrative foil caught in the spiralling vertigo of a similar story, but she has already proven once that she will not stay and obey the rules of a muzzle or a cage. They made for an unlikely and uneasy pair, but the strength of their connection was the perfect undercurrent running beneath the deception of Crane's other relationships.

It wasn't that Crane wanted her dead. It was just that she was never going to survive what it took for him to crawl out of her.

In this forced undertaking, the hive has killed him. He is not an incubator for worms, he is not a carcass to carry flies, he is a broken and haunted man caught between the jaws of a beast he did not know he must fear. The slow breakdown of his relationships, of his health, of his life, are written with such empathy and intelligence. I would trust no other author to write these themes and characters so phenomenally. There is no apology written into the squirming horror, there is nothing easy or simple about the characters. They are allowed to be flawed irredeemably, yet they are also allowed their humanity as they are entrenched in actions that are unforgivable. They are allowed to be starving, they are allowed to shatter into a million pieces, they are allowed to fight tooth and nail for a sick and lurching sense of freedom. There is no right way to fight for your life. And I loved every gory second of terror, every awful and heart-wrenching revelation, every choice that struck me like a knife between the ribs. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and I'm so grateful for it.

This book is ugly and disgusting and it is all the better for it. I implore you to check the content warnings before reading, but you will know within the first few pages whether this is a book you can swallow or not. Please read with care. It does not let up on the sweat-soaked fear and animal howling. It does not stop prodding at you with more and more dehumanising instruments. It is everything I wanted and more. I am so unbelievably happy that this book exists, I hope it is a cathartic, blood-letting read for so many. I adored it with all my being and will never stop thinking about it. I could write essays upon essays about this novel (but I want this review to remain spoiler-free, so maybe I'll go in depth here about the ending when I reread)! What a brilliant and awe-inspiring book. It is a wretched, guttural sob for survival. It is freedom taken between the teeth and ripped out. What a book!

[Zana · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Nobody knows a thing about the hive. That’s the truth of it. Nobody knows if they’re aliens or demons or some horrible natural thing that’s crawled up from the earth’s crust a few decades ago. If they came from space or another world or the dirt."

4.5 stars.

This book combines two things I love:

1. Demon alien worm bug overlords with mind control powers.
2. A toxic age gap relationship with an older guy "who looks like an extra from American Sniper or Zero Dark Thirty."

And one thing I absolutely hate:

Pregnancy.

Especially pregnancy after the fall of Roe v. Wade.

Talk about an American horror story.

If you're down for a visceral, absolutely disgusting horror read, then this book is perfect for you.

I'm someone who can imagine characters and settings in vivid detail and this had my stomach churning to the point where I had to share these disgusting descriptions to my bookish socials. I don't wanna experience grossness (and a hot problematic boyfriend who might or might not be SA'ing the MMC in several scenes) in my own little vacuum. Everyone needs to suffer along with me.

On a serious note, I absolutely loved how this entire thing was a metaphor for the absolute trauma that comes with being pregnant as someone who doesn't want to be pregnant.

I don't know the trans man experience with pregnancy, but as a cis woman who wants nothing to do with pregnancy, this is one of my biggest nightmares.

This book really brought to life the absolute body horror that is pregnancy and giving birth. The pregnancy portion of the novel grossed me out even more than the demon alien bug worms. Thanks for reaffirming my choice to never ever get pregnant and give birth.

Pro-choice for life. Reproductive freedom for all.

Thank you to S&S/Saga Press and NetGalley for this arc.

[Chewable Orb · Rating 4 out of 5]

You Weren’t Meant to Be Human by Andrew Joseph White
4 🔮🔮🔮🔮orbs
Saga Press

Appalachia…

💡 Orbs Prologue: The slight hum rolls like waves through an otherwise silent ambiance. A darkness unveils upon this sanctum of doom. Behind the blood-soaked door beguiles a wolf in sheep's clothing. Through a telepathic nature, a steady pummeling of subliminal messages filled with subterfuge bombards these worshippers. Wormy viscosity lubricates these insects in search of their next bloody meal. A fluttering of wings greets those supplying carcasses with which to feed the Hive, pelting their face with a ravenous fervor. Don’t be fooled, dear reader; this isn’t your simple collection of “bugs.”

🔩 Nuts & Bolts: Crane has found a haven, or so he believes. Born a woman, Crane’s childhood was a place of torture, of misplacement within his own body. Time has passed, and Crane’s existence has found its way into the arms of Levi, an enforcer for the Hive. Levi’s services remain important, as those looking to escape the Hive are often met with stiff consequences. In a demented turn of events, Crane becomes pregnant, to the delight of the Hive, leaving Crane to wonder why. Readers embark on Crane’s journey through a twisted world, one filled with cruelty and mental anguish. A range of varying emotions tugs at Crane’s mind, the sickness of wanting to be rid of this living creature inside him at the forefront. Andrew Joseph White’s storytelling brings the sledgehammer to the party, begging anyone to leave the Hive’s clutches.

👍 Orbs Pros: Bleak!!!! The atmosphere in this novel is haunting. There are random flashes of normality and kindness, but for the majority, this book decays within your hands. The perfect recipe for a great horror endeavor! The psychological warfare that the Hive employs riddled me with fear. The Hive has extended a hand to those thrown away from society, broken individuals looking for respite from the brutalities of society. Andrew Joseph White’s depiction of these broken characters is jarring, one that will leave readers remembering this book long after its conclusion. The ending was unbelievable and left my jaw agape. Bravo, Andrew Joseph White!

👎 Orbs Cons: Brutal!!!! Every warning should be employed if one is to partake in reading this book. I would not say that it was overly descriptive in the gore department per se, but the psychological trauma is full send, non-stop. The lack of any positives lends to what some might perceive as a “Debbie-Downer” of an experience.

Recommended! This book reminds me of walking past a crime scene. The yellow tape is flapping in the wind; you know you shouldn’t look, but you can’t help yourself. From the onset of this novel, you are facing an insurmountable battle in understanding the actions of all those involved. However, through this vast fog of dysfunction, one thing still held constant: my empathy for Crane. Thus was the underlying beauty of this story!

💡 Orbs Epilogue: Crane’s neck spasms as the messages keep pummeling his cortex. The pain of giving birth pales in comparison to double-crossing the Hives' wishes. Pushing now, contractions reaching a sharpening crescendo. The observers in the room, awash in birthing liquid and vomit. The drone-like buzz cuts through the screams from Crane’s mouth. The Hive’s writhing demeanor whips into a frenzy. A purplish baby has entered the scene, to the delight of everyone, human and not-so-human. Without much time to exhale, Crane’s mind is churning. What must he do?

[Anonymousbookseller · Rating 1 out of 5]

Let me start by saying that I didn’t want to write this review. After seeing the overwhelmingly positive reception this book has gotten, I felt that I had to. I am afraid this review may receive a lot of backlash, hence the anonymous posting, but I’m more frightened about what this book might do to people who are improperly prepared for it. This review is not a slight against the author, who, when I have spoken to him in the past, has been one of the most lovely people I have talked to. If you are reading this, Andrew; please stop now, because things are about to get scathing and I really don’t want to hurt you.

First of all, I should have been the perfect audience for this book. I am a trans, autistic, sometimes-nonverbal man who has struggled all of his life with depression and suicidal thoughts. But this book plunged me into a depressive episode that I almost didn’t make it out of. I am a stable person, very capable of withdrawing consent. But I did not see what this book was doing to me until it was too late.

Why read it, then? Well, there’s an elephant in this room. I have already read this book, but in a different version before it even went to the publisher. The trigger warnings were the same, so I thought I was prepared. I’d describe the version I read 3 years ago as one of the most incredible pieces of fiction I have read. It was despairing, exhilarating, compassionate, but most of all, it was kind.

The published book is only one of those things. Despairing.

I am choosing to chalk that up to publisher meddling, because this book is not in any way comparable to the masterpiece I read 3 years ago. It has been dissected, gutted, and hastily stitched back together with a brand new face. It is less about survival, and now is a frankly pornographic depiction of suffering and pain. I have no idea why it’s still marketed as a thriller.

Let me start by saying that the main reason I wanted to write this review has nothing to do with the book itself. I feel that to publish this book under the same name as White’s other works was extremely irresponsible. I am a bookseller, and in our area, his books are most commonly found in the horror section and not the YA, meaning that You Weren’t Meant to be Human will always be next to his other works, no matter which bookstore you visit here. In my own shop, I have been refusing sales of this book to teens; but I’m left with the guilt of seeing the excitement change to disappointment as I have to tell them that the new book by their favourite author is not for them. This shouldn’t be my job, but at the end of the day those teens can just walk across the road and buy it at the big chain bookstore instead.

Teens LOVE edgy fiction, and to romanticise self-harm and suicidal ideation, especially traumatised queer teens. One scene in this book even reminded me a lot of Jeff the Killer, a creepypasta character. Thousands of romantic fan works by teens exist of this fictional teen murderer who intentionally burned his face to a bleached white and then carved a joker-smile into his cheeks. If you have read the book, you’ll know which scene I’m talking about.

I have to admit, I did start laughing ironically at that scene. Nothing like a callback to my teenage creepypasta obsession in a story of horrifying abuse.

White’s other books are safe outlets for teens who love horror, gore, angst and rage. This book is absolutely not that, and I would argue that it this book is extremely dangerous to impressionable teens, especially those who are already feeling helpless and in pain, which is, frankly, most baby queers at the moment. Teens, by this age, usually know what it means to consent, but even adults can struggle with the idea that this extends to the media you consume as well. That you can put it down and read something else.

The trigger warnings for You Weren't Mean to be Human, are technically the same as the ones in the version I read 3 years ago. All of White’s works contain trigger warnings, but the ones in his YA works are far more extensive. The trigger warning provided in this book is not at all adequate. The version I read previously had the same trigger warnings, yet is in no way comparable to this. The afterword should have been a foreword, to properly set the tone and allow the reader to settle in for a rough ride. For an example of this in action, take BrainWyrms by Allison Rumfitt, a trans horror book featuring worms, cults, and pregnancy horror. Equally relevant is its focus on the rise of violence and fascism against trans people in the UK. While Brainwyrms does not have trigger warnings in the beginning, an extensive foreword discusses the circumstances in which this book was written and released, which properly prepares readers for the work.

I’d say this book needs an in-depth warning infinitely more than his YA works. It depicts the suffering and trauma of extremely vulnerable and marginalised groups whose experiences very wildly.

I was also so disappointed by the execution of the book itself.

Something I discussed with the author after reading the beta version of this book was that I want to be a parent myself one day. This, I hope, will eventually involve carrying my own child. This conversation sprung up naturally as the early version of You Weren’t Meant was kind and understanding to people like me.

At the time, YWMTBH’s beta version was the only positive representation of a trans pregnancy I have seen depicted in a fiction book, and it still is.

Let me explain.

In this version of the book, Aspen and Birdie had planned to have their baby, Luna, and so they discuss their experience as they talk Crane through his options. Because of this, they made fantastic foils to Crane’s fear and abhorrence of pregnancy. Aspen shows care and compassion to Crane while also discussing the challenges and fears and struggles they faced during their own pregnancy. If the published book was really about the importance of abortion rights and Roe V Wade, then this should absolutely have stayed. The contrast of a happy trans parent, who had planned their pregnancy, with the absolute horror of a forced birth was I feel imperative to executing this narrative well.

In the published book, yes, Aspen is a happy parent, but it is strongly implied that they were raped. Aspen and Birdie’s agency has been removed, and without Aspen being this necessary foil, we are eventually left with two forced births where the parents got to birth and ended up loving their child anyways, which… doesn’t that go against the message and play into right-wing viewpoints? “When it’s born you’ll see how wonderful it is! When it’s born you’ll understand,” is a really, really common sentiment in anti-abortion groups. When Crane holds his baby in the end before the climax we see this play out in his mind, his wonder and awe. It’s a beautiful moment, but it felt wrong in this book.

Without Aspen as a character foil, we also have only Crane’s unreliable inner monologue to fall back on. Crane, and as far as I can tell, this book sees carrying a child as torture at best and fetishistic at worst. While I understand that we are sometimes not meant to empathise with Crane, he is our only point of reference to the world he lives in. Snide inner commentary is made towards pregnancy test ads with two dads or seahorse dad memes on queer parent forums. This book makes it clear he believes carrying a child is unnatural, terrible, and ultimately wrong... and the book never really calls this into question. Ignoring the fact that the state of trans rights in the UK is so bad that T4T couples are frequently denied things like fostering and adoption, does the book really think that I as a trans man should never be allowed the things that so many cis folks take for granted?

Being a seahorse dad is already so stigmatised and the media circus surrounding pregnant trans men is so voyeuristic that this book puts a foul, foul taste in my mouth. Activists like Freddi McConnell have been trying for years to bring visibility to trans dads and override the stigma with positivity. This book digs into this stigma with its nails and drags it back to the surface again.

I want to be a seahorse dad. I did not need this book to tell me I am a fucking freak for it. My family have already done that, and I nearly disowned them for it. Then I dug in my heels and leaned in; giving my body for this dream is now, for me, a gender-bending act of fury and a protest in itself. One day, I WILL walk into my ultrasound sporting a full beard while battling male-pattern baldness and I’m going to look fucking fantastic while doing it.

It was only when I read Goodread’s list of trigger warnings that I think I understood the point of this book. That forced birth is an act of violence. Which it is. But this book totally missed that point for me.

Now, I like horror, but I’m not a squeamish person. I don’t feel too swayed by things that would make a cis man quiver at the knees. I love parasites and worms and the implicit awfulness to be found in natural processes. I love being unsettled, unnerved, and most of all scared. But outside of the painful recounts of suicidal ideation and dysphoria this book was just… boring and frustrating to me. Crane spends around 20 chapters of this 30-chapter book under house arrest, and outside of the abuse, his pregnancy was… normal? Stress related complications in pregnancy are common, and there are some uncommon yet truly horrifying side effects of pregnancy that I really wanted to see explored. Hair loss. Nose bleeds. Anemia. All of Crane’s teeth falling out, slowly but surely, due to malnutrition. The gore was also negligible and the worms were anticlimactic. It relied on pregnancy and shock value as horror rather than using what was baked into its foundations; worms, parasites, and societal decay.

The ending was fantastic, though. Beautiful, devastating, and well foreshadowed. To kill your baby as an act of mercy knowing they will face a life of torment otherwise? Awful and profound. But aside from the dysphoria and suicidal ideation, this was the only moment that really struck me.

I wanted to love this book so badly, and this was even harder given I related to it in so many ways. There have been so many times of my life where, like the author, I was Sophie. I had, technically, a loving family and everything I could ever want. But dysphoria crippled me, suicidal thoughts ruled my life, and everything I did was overshadowed by a condition I didn’t even know the name of. I’m twenty-fucking-eight and have been on the waiting list for testosterone since I was 17, and I only got it this year through less than ideal means. I’ve preached trans and autistic joy on stage for the past 4 years while my mind was secretly eating itself alive. In those ways this book is agonizingly relatable, and that makes it so much worse how it has been released and marketed.

Even with trigger warnings, I was so, so unprepared to have my trauma gouged open like this. I was looking for anger and catharsis, for my suffering to be seen and heard and explored in a thrilling crescendo. What I got was my inner thoughts dragged out of long-healed wounds like botfly larvae, covered in hooks. This book looked at these awful thoughts, and as far as my trauma was concerned, it agreed.

“That lost little girl is still inside you somewhere.”

“You’re a fetishist freak.”

“You should have been dead years ago, if you were strong enough to do it.”

You Weren’t Meant to be Human fucking broke me. So I’m picking up the pieces and carrying on, at this point out of pure spite. So many people in the world today think I and the people I love most should die. But fuck them. Survival is also an act of protest, something that White’s other works explored so, so well. I never, ever would have agreed to beta this book if I knew that this was what it would eventually become.

I think that’s all I have to say, but… tonight I’m pouring one out for Ravage. The worm of my dreams. Scuttly little freak of my heart. I miss him, and no-one will ever know his name.
I will forever long for the book that this was supposed to be. The book I waited three years for that I was fully expecting to be my favourite book of all time, ever.

This one hurt a lot.

[Cindy Pham]

Amidst an alien invasion, one of the human followers to a cult of sentient mass of worms and flies discovers he is pregnant, and worse: the hive demands the child’s birth, no matter the cost. I’ve always viewed childbirth as body horror, but there’s an extra layer of horror with the dysmorphia that comes with a trans man being forced to complete his pregnancy. The writing really shines in the climax with peak gnarly monstrous action. It’s a simple yet well-executed contained story about a self-hating, self-destructive protagonist learning to break free.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC for review. To be published September 9, 2025.

3.5 stars

I chose to read this because it is set in West Virginia, but turns out it’s in exactly the stereotypical West Virginia area I hate to see portrayed (though Wash County is fictional, McDowell County is not.) The state has its problems, same as other places, but it’s a shame that I almost never see this beautiful, vibrant state portrayed in a good light.

But I digress. FTM trans Crane has run from his old life and is now voluntarily mute and living with his boyfriend in Wash County. Life is ugly, for him and his cohorts who all worship at the altar of a mass of flies and worms who may or may not be aliens and which form a hive in the back of a gas station. This hive has various outposts throughout the Appalachians and are serviced by a seedy band of society’s dropouts who don’t fit anywhere else.

There’s a lot happening here, but the upshot is that Crane gets pregnant and though he desperately wants to terminate the pregnancy the hive demands that he carry the child.

Oh, this is dark, dark, dark, but very well done, think Eric LaRocca. This world is an ugly, hopeless place, but I was impressed by White’s characterizations and his writing; I would definitely read more by this author…but be aware before starting the book that it isn’t for the squeamish, you’ll want to check the trigger warnings before you start. However, it’s not gross for the sake of shock value or anything, it serves a purpose in the story. So, while this wouldn’t normally be my type of book, suddenly, it is.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

gruesome, visceral horror written so well. quite obvious allegories but seemed intentionally so. Loved