Holy Hell

Lillian Byrd Crime Story #1

by Elizabeth Sims

Lillian Byrd is a small-time reporter with a flair for making big-time mistakes—like getting fired for fending off the boss's son with an X-Acto knife and breaking up with her girlfriend for no good reason—so her investigation into the disappearances of women in the Detroit area might not be the best idea. But when one of the missing women turns up dead and Lillian recognizes the bizarrely mutilated corpse, she's in too deep to get out. Of course, it doesn't help that she's still fighting off the boss's son and ducking the intensely aggressive amorous overtures of the roughest dyke in town. Now, after simultaneously blowing the case for the police and revealing herself to the off-kilter killers, she's completely on her own. Can she catch the murderers before they catch up with her?"In the wisecracking tradition of Janet Evanovich, Elizabeth Sims brings us a delightfully down-to-earth character in Lillian Byrd, a woman who refuses to take herself too seriously, even in the face of serious threats of grievous bodily harm. Sims's tight plot, delicious irony, crisp dialogue, and colorful cast make Holy Hell not only an impressive first novel, but an honest-to-God page-turner." —Lauren Maddison, author of Deceptions and Witchfire

Genres: Mystery, LGBT, Crime, Fiction, Queer, Audiobook, Mystery Thriller

275 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Elizabeth Sims is an American author and writing authority. Her novels include the Lambda Award-winning Lillian Byrd crime series and the Rita Farmer mystery series, and she writes frequently for Writer's Digest magazine, where she is a Contributing Editor.

Booklist calls her work "crime fiction as smart as it is compelling," and Crimespree magazine praises her "strong voice and wonderful characters."
Are you a writer too—or would you like to be one? If so, you might find inspiration in Elizabeth's book You've Got a Book in You: A Stress-Free Guide to Writing the Book of Your Dreams, published by Writer's Digest Books.

Elizabeth earned degrees in English from Michigan State University and Wayne State University, where she won the Tompkins Award for graduate fiction. She has worked as a reporter, editor, photographer, technical writer, bookseller, street busker, ranch hand, corporate executive, and symphonic percussionist. Elizabeth belongs to several literary societies as well as American Mensa.

To learn more about her and to view a full list of her available works, including free excerpts and book discussion guides, visit www.elizabethsims.com
There you can get in touch and / or join her newsgroup.

Reviews

[Lex Kent · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.50 Stars. A pretty good older sapphic mystery story. I listened to two older audiobooks when I was feeling sick this past week, and I realized that age really affected them quite differently. One book did not age well since it used a lot of pop references and the whole time I was listening to the story it just really felt it’s age. This story, which is very close in age to that other book, didn’t have the same problem. While this story obviously happened before #MeToo, and you can imagine the other issues it has as it takes place in the 90’s, beyond that its age didn’t really matter negatively. This is a murder mystery book and having a book were someone couldn’t just look up social media pages to search for clues was nice and different for a change. And then the characters not having access to a cell phones really upped the danger factor since they can’t just call for help. There are some great murder mystery writers of today but something about old school mysteries I truly miss.

This book is a bit serial killer dark, a little graphic, some humor, suspense, sapphic, and has a rabbit named Todd. It is currently on Kindle Unlimited and free if you have Audible but I had a notice it was leaving sometime this month (Feb) from the free Audible catalog so keep an eye out if you are interested.

[Diane Wallace · Rating 4 out of 5]

**'The way to write a good book is to actually start writing a story. A pen is useful, typing is also good but then keep putting words on the pages..'

3.5stars!
Both an enjoyable and suspenseful storyline.

[lov2laf · Rating 4 out of 5]

I find I'm not that big of a fan for straight up mysteries in lesfic. It's fine if they're wrapped in the genres of fantasy, paranormal, historical, and/or sci-fi but my luck with lesfic mystery by itself is wanting. Either the books are too dreary, melodramatic, completely unbelievable, looooong, or rise to the level of cheesy.

I'm happy to say this book did not fall into those categories. "Holy Hell" struck just the right balance between entertaining, amusing, and dark. Within a few sentences Sims hits your funny bone while raising the levels of your creep-o-meter and, because of the comedy, it gets away with any extravagances.

Lillian Byrd is the perfect rogue P.I. with her sarcasm, quick witted talents, and fallibility. She knows her limitations and isn't superwoman. I loved that she described herself as homely and the rest of the cast weren't beautiful paragons or perfect, either, but real people of all varieties. Lillian's description of them are super interesting and often a hoot.

The book takes place in the 1990s outside of Detroit, MI so the internet and cellphone availability are little to none. BUT, the story is written so well it surpasses the decades and is easily consumable in the here and now.

As for lesfic, Lillian is lesbian and does have f/f relationships but romance plays a minor role to the mystery. All sex scenes are fade-to-black or...just black, actually.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this. The first book in the series is only $0.99 and the entire series is available on Kindle Unlimited. Thanks to Corrie for putting it on my radar.

The feel of the book was similar to "The Missing Comatose Woman" by Sarah Ettritch so if you liked that one definitely give this read a go.

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, entertaining mystery! While Lillian and many of the side characters are lesbians, this is not really a romance book, though, and there are no steamy sex scenes, which is always disappointing with a likable MC.

What there is though, is just delightful! Lillian engages in several hilarious debates with herself, and her rabbit Todd is a great confidant. The side characters and their interactions with Lillian are often truly laugh out loud funny! The mystery itself is very clever, and there are enough twists and turns that I was engaged all the way until the end…often unusual for a mystery book. The best parts of the book though, are the absolutely wacky things Lillian decides to do, and her own observations about how she shouldn’t be doing something, and how things are not working out as she might have hoped….always an understatement!

This is the first in a five part series, and I’ve already bought the next book on Audible! The narrator does a wonderful job bringing Lillian to life! I’d say more, but this being a mystery, anything further would involve spoilers so I’ll just finish up with this being a solid 4* recommendation!

[Jude Silberfeld-Grimaud · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very enjoyable mystery, quite scary at times but not so much that I had to stop reading. I really liked the characters, all of them but especially the main one. She makes all sorts of mistakes and stupid choices because she’s so human and real.
So, I’m on to the second one.

[Corrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy Hell was a very apt title for this book. Holy hell, indeed.

Lillian Byrd’s life goes completely to shit after she stabs the boss’s son Bucky in the ass with an X-acto knife after he ‘accidentally’ rubs himself against her one time too many. That action gets the small-time reporter fired from her job at the Eagle Eye newspaper, just when she was working on a juicy murder case.

Lillian (now freelancing) is determined to get to the bottom of this murder and in doing so gets herself in a whole heap of trouble. She manages to make a colossal cluster fuck out of the murder investigation by trying to get evidence the wrong way. Now the killer is after her because she knows too much, as well as Bucky who still wants to get even for the stab in the butt and if that isn’t enough she manages to get herself the unwanted attentions of an amorous stalker lady.

Pet rabbit Todd is her only anchor to sanity as her world unravels.

This was my first encounter with Elizabeth Sims and I have to say I really like her writing style. Lillian’s unconventional sleuthing gets her in hilarious situations, but I was also shocked out of my socks a few times when Sims sneaks in a very graphic scene. Yikes! That sobers you up real quick.

Now I want to read the whole 5-book series. It was a really entertaining read with a marvelous (and flawed) main character, an unusual murder-mystery and fantastic dialogue.

f/f this is not a romance but Lillian does get some (non-explicit) action

Themes: Detroit, amateur sleuthing, teeth, 1985 evergreen Chevrolet Caprice, the Snapdragon Club, Dewar’s whiskey, breaking and entering, arts and crafts with human remains, oh fuck Minerva LeBlanc.

5 stars

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Holy Hell” is a delightful mystery and suspense book that in turns can be funny, scary, or nerve wracking.
Lillian Byrd is a reporter that is fired after she stabs her boss’s son with an X-acto knife. Before she’s fired, she comes across a murder while at the police station looking for a story. She recognizes the victim as a DJ that worked at the local ladies’ bar. She gets a freelance job to investigate the murder and finds herself in all kinds of trouble.
She attracts all kinds of trouble, sometimes doing things she shouldn’t. She’s dealing with the boss’s son who is holding a grudge, she’s got a stalker and she gets in the crosshairs of a pair of murderers all in a couple weeks of each other.
I didn’t always like Lillian, I thought her treatment of her ex-girlfriend was pretty shitty, especially since she’s the one who ended the relationship but it also made Lillian more realistic. She’s not perfect, and she’ll be the first to admit it.
And this isn’t a romance in any way so if that’s what you’re looking for, you might want to look somewhere else. But Lillian is a lesbian and there is some representation in the story.
“Holy Hell” is well written and I liked the pacing; I thought it all flowed really well. It was pretty exciting and I read it in one sitting and can’t wait to read more of this series. I recommend to anyone who likes good mysteries.
It's available on Kindle Unlimited.

[Kay read by Gloria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holy Hell (Lillian Byrd Crime Story, #1) by Elizabeth Sims I loved this one. It was so easy to fall in love with Lillian Byrd and get swallowed up by the mystery. This one is a fun easy read.

[AnnMaree Of Oz · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a similar vein to Stoner McTavish, Lillian Byrd is an unwitting reporter come private detective. Although this is written and set in the early 2000's.

Oh Boy. Do I ever identify with Lillian. Such as her penchant for all the wrong girls and debating tirelessly with herself, talking herself in and out of bad decision. lol. She has a pet rabbit called Todd (I had rabbits as pets as a kid) and has the worst luck.

After stabbing the handsy douchebag son of her newspaper boss with an Xacto knife to the rump, she ends up fired. While she and us as the audience knows she did wrong, at the same time you empathize with the situation that had been ongoing, and the lack of support she experienced in trying to curb his behaviour up until this penultimate episode. At least I did.

She ends up investigating the murder of a DJ from the local lesbian bar that she had chatted up, once. She also stumbles across the killer in an impressive albeit almost lackadaisical way, but manages to get away by the skin of her teeth. All the while trying to avoid being stalked by another woman who cannot take no for an answer and insists she is in love with Lillian and keeps ramping up her devotion.

She meets crime writer Minerva who is also looking into the case, and sparks a connection immediately and we get a fade to black/morning after scene. Things keep ramping up with danger and violence; which really gut-punches you into the frey.

I found it suspenseful and also shocking to discover the mystery of the crimes and it's victims. I really look forward to seeing more from the Lillian Byrd Crime series.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

The plot was interesting and unpredictable, and I found the main character extremely likable and entertaining. It’s intense and somewhat disturbing, if you’re a fan of that sort of thing - which I am.

[Tara · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Think of it as an upbeat "It's ok!" There was nothing wrong with this book really, I supposed. I picked it up at some point for a challenge where the book/author was supposed to be from Michigan. I never finished the challenge and never got to the book. But for the end of the year I wanted to try to tie up some lose ends created this year. So I picked up this book.

The book read like someone telling you story that happened to them years ago. That wasn't so bad, but even though the book was only 260-ish pages I bet it could have been about 20 pages shorter. I really hate reading long descriptions of things that aren't relevant to the story. Like the narrator has allergies and dated someone once who wanted her to stop taking Benadryl and treat it with all natural herbal remedies. This doesn't help with the murder going on.

I think that the other reason it got only got an it's ok, was the fact that you know who the murders are right from the beginning. All the "red herrings" thrown in are half-hearted and no one, not even the narrator really gives them much consideration. By halfway through the book, you know that the people you think did it are also mentally unstable and the only suspense you have is how the police will actually solve the crime while Lillian Bryd keeps getting in the way and tainting the evidence.

I guess I was hoping for a little suspense and little more action. It was overall a pretty passive story. Especially coming from a narrator that in the first 5 of the story, stabs her coworker in the butt with an exacto-knife for sexually harassing her after being asked repeatedly to stop. (Which I helped sell me on this book/author that I knew nothing about.) Oh well.

[T.J. Dallas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this one! Hard hitting thriller with elements of crime fighting and horror. My first book by this author, but I look forward to book two in the series!

[AC · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first time I have read this author, but it will not be the last. Gripping story! Just when I thought I had it figured out--twist—the author surprised me. I laughed, I gripped the sides of my chair, I may have even stopped breathing once or twice. This really captured my attention. I never give spoilers, that’s a known. What I will say is, I found the author developed wickedly brilliant characters and the story entertained me throughout. Her MC is so perfectly imperfect, you will probably try to tell her not to do something, even though you are reading a fictional character. Just sayin’. Check it out, why don’t you.

[Balthazaar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh I really enjoyed this one. The main character, Lillian, is really likable and gutsy. The story is original. Some of the detail in the narrative makes it feel really authentic and the narrator was great. If only there had been more Minerva. Straight on to book 2 for me.

Edit: I forgot to say how fun this is ... it got me chuckling quite a bit, even tho the actual mystery is kinda grim. Anyhow - thumbs up from me.

[Rowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This mystery has everything in it I like, including the protagonist staying in cheap motels, living in a bare apartment, wearing sporty casual clothes, and her signature drink being something simple and hard. The plot grows and grows. It almost wouldn't need to be a mystery at all; the heroine keeps investigating and finding evidence, turning the novel into a mystery plot. Another description of this comes to mind--Kmart realism. Sims uses name brands, real life descriptions of life, and allows characters to discuss guns, race relations, and PC culture, some defining issues of our time. This is the best mystery I've ever read.

[Emmalynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an older book I found on audible and listened to while working. Remembering that this is set back in the 90’s :) is the other trick. Overall this was a funny, fast paced, mystery. Lillian is entertaining, self-deprecating, not afraid to stab a sexual harasser in the butt (even though it got her fired) and her #1 confident is her rabbit Todd. The mystery is clever and has enough twists and turns that even when the identity of the culprits were revealed midway through, there’s still enough mystery and twists left to figure out ( how to catch them, motive) that keeps the pace up, and Lillian on the go.

[Geonn Cannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cover made me expect something a little more... cozy than what it ended up being. Violent, dark, twisted, all that lovely stuff you wouldn't expect from a book with a rabbit on the cover. But definitely worth checking out, and a good introduction to a new series. There was a bit where the narrator compares bisexual women to "[going] to a wine-tasting before buying a case," but I don't think that's intended to be more than just one woman's opinion. The book takes place in the 90s, so maybe she just wasn't fully educated on things.

[Davenport Public Library Iowa · Rating 5 out of 5]

An inclusive, lesbian take on the humorous mystery subgenre most famously represented by the hapless but determined Stephanie Plum - this is a fun ride with feminist sensibilities and lots of love for 90s and 2000s Detroit. Good for fans of Evanovich (obviously) but also the more recent Devil's Chew Toy by Rob Osler which similarly represents a variety of sapphic and other LGBTQ identities both in and out of the club scene as their heroes solve mysterious disappearances.

-Callen

[Callen DeWit · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love you, gay Stephanie Plum, and your lil rabbit too. May more women read your book and stab lecherous coworkers in the butt with x-acto knives.

[Ada · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun!

[Megan]

This is a well-written crime story that will hook you and pull you out, only to have you slip free and swim away at the last minute.

Lillian Byrd is a likable journalist for a small newspaper in Detroit—until she gets fired for stabbing the owner’s son in the butt with an X-acto knife for unwanted fondling. Too bad, because she was working on two stories: one about a series of missing women and the other about a recent murder. The murdered woman was someone she knew—someone, in fact, that she had tried to pick up in a women’s bar not long before.

As you might suspect, this book is similar to Murder at the Nightwood Bar, the second in the Kate Delafield Mystery series in that both are centered on a lesbian bar. But that’s where the similarity ends. Lillian, after breaking up with her girlfriend of several years, has been frequenting the Snapdragon, where she met Jean, a shy, beautiful DJ with many secrets. After Jean turns up dead, Lillian vows to find her killer and maybe even tie her in with the missing women. In the process she meets an investigative crime writer—an Edna Buchanan type—and the two hit it off, although they have to dodge ultra-butch Lou, a Snapdragon regular who is obsessed with Lillian, Bucky the newspaper owner's son, who is looking for revenge after having stitches in his ass, and, of course, the killer.

An unusual facet of this book is that we’re all pretty sure who to blame the crime on halfway through the book. The other half deals with Lillian trying to convince the police by turning up hard evidence and to find it she has to . . .Well, let's just say that this is a very exciting book replete with guns and kidnappings and even a hint of necrophilia.

But that hint maybe should have been a warning that the book was about to go off the deep end. The solution to the mystery is far-fetched to say the least and relies on a motif that too many writers fallen back on; blaming a deity for the killings; as in “God told me to do it.” How many is that now in the last dozen or books I have read, hmm? Well, Ellen Hart’s Hallowed Murder for one. And what about Penny Mickelbury’s Keeping Secrets> There must be more, but should be less. I liked Lillian. I also liked her crime writer friend and even the extremely odd ex-undertaker, but the book reads like the author concocted a fine tale and then realized—way too late—that she didn't know how to end it. It would be interesting to read the second book in the series just to see if she solves this literary problem the next time around.

Note: This review is included in my book The Art of the Lesbian Mystery Novel, along with information on over 930 other lesbian mysteries by over 310 authors.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I ordered Holy Hell after reading an article by Elizabeth Sims in Writer's Digest. The article was about promoting one's books. The message was direct and gutsy: put your book into the hands of readers, like right in the bookstore where you are set up to discuss the book. I was intrigued looked Sims up online and learned about her Lillian Byrd series. This is the first. Like the author, the sleuth is direct and gutsy. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and the freshness of Byrd and promptly ordered the next four books, happy to have discovered a new mystery writer.

[Cornelia · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I found myself hoping that the main character would get murdered just so that the book would end already, I decided it was time to give up. The author makes a few bizarre claims about Lillian early on, such as her being likeable and/or having friends. She is frankly terrible to her ex and a third into the book I have yet to read about her being nice to anyone she interacts with. On top of this she's just really, really stupid, but at least that last part seems to have been intentionally written into the character.

[Mairzi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am not a big fan of detective novels so I didn't really love this. Never really got a sense of who the main character was. That said, it is a quick, easy read with some interesting minor characters.

[Wimfest · Rating 3 out of 5]

Slow moving at first but not mundane...loved the twists, even the expected ones. Enjoyed the characters and the storyline. Would recommend to those how like crime novels but you have to be patient with it. It grows on you.

[Maria Ciletti · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a big mystery reader, but I really enjoyed this book. The main character, Lillian is...well...quite a character. Great read!

[Jax · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s feeling dated, but I still wanted to know what would happen next. I might continue the series but not right now.

[Richard · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is okay! It's goofy and it has lesbians and murders. Lillian got on my nerves, though. And she doesn't like Cheers! Who doesn't like Cheers?

[Sohvi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Fat shaming and bi erasure. No thanks.

[Leslie Nagel · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic surprise this was. I downloaded it from Audible because--and I know I'm about to lose any respect you still hold for me--it was a freebie. Hey, I was out of credits. Sue me.

First, the WRITING. Holy hell, Sims can write. This is funny, literate, snarky, sharp, original. Here are a few examples that snagged me hard, but I could give you dozens of others:
Describing an excruciatingly ongoing breakup: "It was like dissecting a moth with a chainsaw. The air in our apartment was filled with words, exclamation points, sentences."
"My rabbit Todd had the run of the place and the good sense not to blow it."
"His dead-hamster hairpiece loomed in my office doorway."

Second, the plot. Yeah, it's the story of an out of work reporter who solves a series of murders, blah blah. But that is where the tropes end. The two detectives on the case don't want Lillian meddling, but they're sympathetic, and they don't automatically throw her in jail every time she ends up in a compromising situation, which, by the by, is often. The tale of why she's unemployed is razor sharp, hilariously told, and all too real. (You're gonna hate Bucky's guts. Show of hands if your life is cursed with a Bucky or two of your own. *raises hand*) Through her internal dialog, we learn bits and pieces of her life, how she became who she is. All of it is compelling, often funny, and always relatable.

Third, the characters and setting. I love Detroit. My son lived there for 3 years, and we looked forward to visiting him there, trying all the funky ethnic eateries on sketchy side streets, soaking up the ambience of broken concrete and stubborn pride. Lillian is a native, and you feel the city like a supporting character, nurturing and sheltering, even as she acknowledges the crime rate and down-at-heel neighborhoods. When she's confronted by a knife wielding mugger, walks away unscathed, then calmly goes on in and orders enchiladas "at that great enchilada place by the bridge. Nobody knows its name, but everybody knows where you mean", her faith in her beloved Detroit is palpable.
Lillian is gay, but the author doesn't make this story all about the fact that LILLIAN IS GAY. Her sexuality is not a plot device, a gimmick, or a political statement. She just ... is, naturally and as part of how she sees and interacts with the world, the way any hetero character is portrayed without making a big deal out of sexual or gender identity. Imagine Elizabeth Bennett stewing over whether it's natural for her to be attracted to a MAN, oh my pearl clutching good gracious!
Holy Hell is peppered with memorable side characters, from Billie the pet whisperer to Lou, the woman who just won't take 'no' for an answer.

Finally, the narration. Dina Pearlman, as it happens, narrates my novels, so while I'm biased, her sassy, sometimes snarky, always crisp delivery truly is the perfect voice for Lillian, as our hero slogs her way from one scrape to the next. I mean, Holy Hell, read this book. You're welcome.