Find My Way Down to You

by Julian Winters

You've Reached Sam meets Hadestown in this enchanting, intoxicating romance across the mortal world and the underworld.

Eighteen-year-old August is trying to navigate life after the sudden death of his boyfriend left him devastated, aimless, and feeling guilty. Years after the tragic accident, August mistakenly stumbles into a world beyond his own—the Underworld. Unlike his own gray existence, the underworld is a lavish extravagant place, full of mystery and a flurry of charismatic gods, all curious about August's arrival in their world. Realizing right away the opportunity in front of him, August goes searching for his lost love, guided by Cary, the smoldering, broody ferrier of souls. But the more time August spends down below, the more his intentions begin to blur. Is he visiting this realm to reunite with his soulmate? Or is he desperately, inexplicably, intoxicatingly drawn to Cary? With his own world in pieces and a dangerously seductive realm promising him a new existence at a heavy cost, August must a life with grief or a love that might destroy him.

Genres: Romance, Fantasy, Young Adult, Queer, LGBT, M M Romance, Fiction

380 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 4, 2026

About the author

Julian Winters is the bestselling and award-winning author of acclaimed novels, including Running With Lions, a IBPA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award winner; Right Where I Left You, a Georgia Peach Award nominee; as well as adult romances, I Think They Love You and Last First Kiss, a USA Today Bestseller. A self-proclaimed comic book geek, Julian currently lives outside of Atlanta where he can be found swooning over rom-coms or watching the only two sports he can follow—volleyball and soccer.

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Reviews

[annes_mesmerizing_books · Rating 5 out of 5]

This cover!!! So, so gorgeous! Julian Winters is one of my favorite authors, so after seeing this mesmerizing cover and reading the fantastic blurb, I wanted only one thing: to dive into this story. And then Viking Books granted me access to the ARC. I was over the moon.

”That’s what it’s like living with grief. Loneliness, even while you’re surrounded by people.”

I have a soft spot for sadder books, especially when the grief is written really well. Find My Way Down to You is such a story. The publisher compares it to You’ve Reached Sam, which is of course a great comparison, but to me it feels closest to Michelle Kulwicki’s At the End of the River Styx.

August—Auggie—lost his boyfriend two years ago in a car accident and hasn’t really lived since. Now eighteen, he waits tables at a restaurant and lives with his best friend, who, unlike Auggie, has started college. Everything shifts when he meets Cary, the ferrier of souls, and Auggie’s world is turned literally upside down.

The boys in this story are all nice guys, but also flawed. And I actually love that, because people can be kind and still imperfect. London was a planner with big dreams. Cary is brooding and quiet, but also a giver—a boy who looks after others before himself. And Auggie wants to make people happy, so he lets others have their way and rarely pushes back. Auggie and Cary mirror each other in surprising ways, and they lift each other up.

Even though this is a speculative YA story, it’s incredibly readable and leans more toward contemporary romance than fantasy. It’s a story of growth, and in the final part I kept feeling tears well up in my eyes. Not because it’s that sad, (it certainly has its moments) but because Auggie finally chooses to start living again.

It’s a story that stays with you long after you close the book, and I’m so happy I got the chance to read it early.

Actual rating 4.5 stars, rounded up to five.

Thank you, Viking Books for Young Readers and Edelweiss, for this beautiful ARC.

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[Mai H.]

Black History Month TBR

Pride TBR

Valentine's Day TBR

📱 Thank you to NetGalley and Viking Books for Young Readers

[Olena · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’m starting to think I might just not be the target audience for this book. It felt a little too young for me, and I struggled to connect with the characters and their relationships.

I never really felt the closeness between August and his boyfriend, and I couldn’t quite buy his relationship with Cary either. I wanted to feel more of an emotional connection there, but unfortunately, it never clicked for me.

The idea of immortals and the afterlife is definitely intriguing, but I felt like the concept wasn’t developed as well as it could have been. There’s a lot of focus on trauma, grief, loss, and the process of mourning, but the way August experiences and deals with all of it felt a bit too YA for me.

The book was an easy read in some places, but at other times it felt quite slow and repetitive. Some things were explained and revisited over and over again, which made the story drag for me.

I think this is simply a case of “it’s not you, it’s me.” 😂 This might be a great book for the right reader, but unfortunately, I don’t think I was that reader. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you to Penguin Young Readers Group | Viking Books for Young Readers and NetGalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

🖤 Grief & Loss
🌌 Supernatural Elements
💔 Love After Loss
🏳️‍🌈 LGBTQ+ Romance
❤️‍🩹 Emotional Healing
🔮 Life After Death
🫂 Finding Closure

[cyd · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75
Thank you to netgalley for an advanced readers copy in exchange for an honest review. This book was so sweet and good. It definitely reminded me of Hadestown as was intended and it was really cute. A great portrayal of healing and grief. It kind of reminded me of You’ve Reached Sam aswell. Definitely recommend this one when it comes out.

[Christiana Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t think I’m the target audience for this one. It’s a good book, but didn’t go the places I wanted it to go. I think in the problem here.

[Brittany]

ARC from NetGalley

DNF 35% in

Really loved an adult book by this author this year so I thought I try a young adult. This felt to young for me and I was bored so rather than finish and leave a bad rating I decided to DNF. With a beautiful cover I hope this book finds its target audience.

[The Nightwatch Desk · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's been two years since August's boyfriend died in a tragic car accident. In the meantime, he's still struggling with overwhelming grief, lethargy, and guilt.

August meets a mysterious boy named Cary, following him to a doorway to the underworld. There, he seizes the opportunity to search for his lost love. He embarks on a journey that teaches him a new perspective and helps him heal.

☁️Upper Young Adult Fiction
✨M/M Fantasy Romance
☁️Underworld Journey
✨Grief & Lost Love
☁️Inspired by Greek Mythology
✨Moving Forward

'Find My Way Down to You' is a heavy exploration of grief's physical and psychological tolls. With that in mind, this might be difficult to read if you aren't in the right headspace.

This story is told from August's perspective in the present with flashbacks to the past. His personality is hard to define because he's shrouded by grief, pain, and anger.

Here, the underworld is a strange, dreamlike place. It wasn't the dark wasteland that I was expecting (given that Hadestown was listed as a comparable). While there, August is being asked to choose between living in his grief forever (aka staying in the underworld) or choosing to have a future.

This book is mostly about August grappling with his feelings. It could’ve used a little extra conflict or something else to raise the stakes. August and Cary also don't have much of a connection (romance wasn’t really the point anyway). But throughout, it has some beautiful messaging about the privilege of being loved.

[Bethany Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @penguinteen for the advanced copy to review - and to @wintersjulian for writing my new favorite book of his. Hands down, this is Julian’s best work yet. I read it in two sittings, and I had to stop myself simply because I was crying too much to see clearly.

The way that Julian describes grief in this book has me on my knees, the way that those who have suffered unimaginable loss can understand so deeply. It’s an ache that never goes away. Feeling like a phantom limb. The smallest thing can make you feel like you’re drowning. And through August, we see all of this after the loss of his boyfriend. The blame. How he wishes it could have been him. Even after all that time. My heart ached for him.

This book was not all sad, not at all. In fact, I absolutely *loved* our broody boy to the underworld Cary and his friend Henri. They were so much fun together and I would read a book about Henri (JUST SAYING JULIAN).

I loved how the relationship between Cary and August grew throughout the book. They had to learn to really trust each other, and I wondered about Cary (and being proven right by the end) had me sobbing yet again. I was a *mess* throughout the epilogue. So many happy happy tears.

[Sindu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional story of grief and love!

"He loves Cary. And Cary loves him. Together, they are myths made to be recited in song and stars."

I'm always in awe of young adult authors and the way they take the most painful emotions and write such beautiful stories with them. Julian Winters makes August's journey through grief and healing so relatable that every moment of his pain was mine, and his sadness and heartbreak made me cry. But at the same time his healing, his love, his joy became my own too. My heart mended itself alongside his, his laughter brought a smile to my face and I felt his love as deeply as he did.

Find My Way Down to You is a beautiful exploration of loss and grief, and eventually, healing. August is deep in his grief when we meet him. He's barley living and just goes through the motions every day. But when he's suddenly drawn into the underworld, it gives him hope. Hope that he gets to see his love again, and hope that he gets to apologize for a loss that he thinks is his fault.

This book captures the feeling of a sudden loss, a loss that gives you no time to say goodbye, in such a real way. The way August's guilt combined with his grief made everything feel so heavy. The way eventually dealing with his grief and moving on brings its own sense of loss. I loved how this story built upon itself and took us through every part of that process and made it feel so relatable. I was right there with Auggie for every step of the way and I cried buckets of tears as he went on his journey.

I also loved how the fantasy aspects were subtly woven into the story. Everyone in the underworld played an important role, but no one more than Cary. He goes through his own journey in this book, but he also plays the biggest part in Auggie's. These are two lost boys who find a love bigger than they expected in the moment they needed it most. Seeing them find happiness with each other brought a different kind of tears to my eyes and left me feeling so hopeful.

This book is magical and emotional, and really cathartic in ways. The characters were endearing and so relatable. Julian Winters has written an amazing story that breaks you down but also lifts you back up. Every tear I shed was so worth getting to go on this journey alongside Auggie and Cary. I just loved every second of it!

“Grief needs to be felt,” he says. “It is not a burden. It is a reminder. You were given the choice to love. To be loved. And you took it. You let it grow and become bigger than even you imagined.”

[Monika K · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a stunning book. I knew at 15% this book would make me cry and I was not wrong. Poetic, ethereal, sad, unique, beautiful. Winters is not only really funny in his adult contemporary romcoms, but he is a great writer when evoking atmosphere and worlds. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it caught me by surprise and I absolutely loved it.

August is stuck in grief having caused the car accident that killed his boyfriend London 2 years ago. He is feeling lost and having a hard time moving on. He accidentally falls into another world and meets the cold, immortal ferrier of souls Cary, along with the other Deathless immortal characters. August becomes desperate to find London’s soul, talk to him and maybe get some closure, but keeps all of these feelings bottled up inside. This sets up a fascinating premise, a magical underworld, and an enemies-to-lovers, opposites attract scenario. So many fantastical and wonderful things happen which I won’t mention here, but I was continuously surprised by the twists and turns and beauty of this story.

The way Julian writes about grief is so spot on, you can really feel what August is going through. The waves of grief that hit you when you least expect it. How you want to hold on to the sad feelings because it's a way of holding on to the person who died. How angry and lost you feel. Ugh. For me the only other authors who have written about loss in such a true way are Alexis Hall in the Spires series, and Tracy Deonn in Legendborn. And if you’ve read those, you may know what vibes to expect. But Find My Way Down to You is its own unique story, and a moving tribute to love, loss and hope. This one will stay with me for a while.

*Thanks to NetGalley & Penguin Teen for the ARC*

[Lupin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A boy learns how to deal with grief, and what better way to do it than to fall in love with the ferrier of souls?

August struggles so profoundly throughout the book; he's stuck in a pit with no real way to get out of it, not even through his support system that tries to reach out for him. It's poetic that the way he learns to move past is through Cary, someone who knows it so intimately and seeing every person's last moments.

I loved how it wrapped up and the closure August got felt so satisfying. Cary becomes so tender for August that I wished the two got to interact more in the book, because the way they contrasted each other & worked was so cute to watch.

I did occasionally feel a bit irked by August since he isolates and lashes out until the end, where he finally gets to make substantial progress in his grief. I wanted more room for his character development to breathe and to see a slow change over time because of Cary's influence.

The fantasy element with August at the end also felt irrelevant since it didn't have as much impact as I thought it'd have. August's story felt more touching before the reveal, since it grounded his character to be more relatable. Aside from introducing a late conflict, this detail about August felt sudden only to make up stakes on the spot.

This is a cute read though, and I think it'll connect well with anyone who's dealt with grief. It ends on a hopeful note and it filled my heart to read August's well earned conclusion.

[Kate Lucas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Find My Way Down to You by Julian Winters is a beautiful, heartbreaking story that captures grief in its rawest form. Two years after losing his boyfriend, London, August is doing everything he can to keep moving forward but he's still struggling. When he encounters the mysterious Cary, a Ferrier of souls, and finds himself in another world, August is given the chance to confront his grief in ways he never expected.

One of my favorite parts of this book was the relationship between Cary and August. They start off as reluctant friends/allies while dealing with the other Deathless and their connection develops so naturally over time. There’s no rushed romance here. Just trust, communication, and genuine care. Cary's kindness and patience with August made their relationship incredibly rewarding to read.

The side characters were just as compelling. The other Deathless were fascinating, and I’m hoping the ending is setting up another book centered on one of them. There are also several twists throughout the story that kept me invested and eager to see what happened next.

This book was both beautiful and heartbreaking. Julian Winters writes grief so well and if you have followed him you know that this book holds a special place for him. Watching August come to terms with the loss of London and while not fully moving on, moving to a place where he can sit with his grief was a highlight of this book.

I can't recommend Find My Way Down to You enough, and honestly, I can't recommend Julian Winters' books enough. Every one I've read has been incredible, and this may be one of my favorites yet.

[Grace Manders · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️

i am drowning in my tears (some of them are happy!) 😭 this was stunningly beautiful. the way that Julian navigates grief is relatable in all of the messy and sad and angry ways. And navigating grief through the lens of an 18 year old boy.. there is so much to love here

I spent most of the book wishing I could crawl into the pages and give August a big warm hug. His guilt around London's death, his budding relationship with Cary, and all the messy tangled emotions that came with it. Some of my favorite moments of this book were the moments where Cary's soft side would come out to shine. There is a chapter where, for the first time, August witnesses the gentle and kind way that Cary approaches his job. When I tell you, I was full out sobbing through the entire chapter...

The rest of our merry band of characters also add so much body and life to this story. From August's parents and their gentle yet firm expectations, to August's friends who both want the best for him but also worry for him, to the chaotic band of Deathless in the Underworld.

Julian Winters is an absolute treat and I am so grateful for this book. It healed me in ways I didn't know I needed. If you are a fan of Hadestown or certain Greek myths (HadesXPersephone, Orpheus/Eurydice, Achilles/Patroclus), this is a must read.

[Carly (carly_reads_queer) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A breathtaking, deeply emotional, and endlessly captivating journey through grief, loss, and love.

This was one of the most magnificent novels I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. A stark, palpable grief woven together with a richly crafted and alluring world of gods.

That combination of bewitching and super saturated fantasy underworld with the raw, unfiltered and often gut-wrenching reality of grief was inimitable. I was holding my breath and completely engrossed from the first to the last page. I felt like I was experiencing everything right alongside the characters. Characters that were layered, dynamic, and effortlessly lovable.

And in the end, on top of enthralling magic, mayhem, and the fickle hand of fate, you get unfathomable love, healing, the power of our own choices, and one exquisite romance. Seriously. A masterpiece.

What you’ll get:
•Achillean Romance
•The Underworld
•Ferrier of Souls
•Gods + Mythos
•Forbidden Love
•Second Chance
•Grief + Loss
•Fate •Healing
•Anxiety + Panic Attacks Rep
•Depression Rep

[Shelly’s Kindl3 · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC Review - NetGalley

Grief was heavily covered in this book in fact it appears to be the main theme. August suffered a great loss which caused him to lose himself along the way. Not only is he grieving but he carries blame as well. Until, a being from another world crossed paths with curious August. Which lead him to the underworld and had him discovering things about death. Thanks to Cary - the ferry. Cary is the one who carries the dead into the underworld. We get a glimpse into both Cary and August family and friend dynamics as well. I would recommend this book to anyone who has lost someone they loved. I gave this book 3 stars because I wanted to see more about August and Cary throughout the story navigating this complicated relationship.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Bella and the Bookstack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much to the publisher and Julian Winters for an arc copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Heartbreaking and yet beautifully hopeful! This book touched me in so many ways. I think this book did a wonderful job at exploring grief, and how it looks different for everyone. It was painful to see how much August was hurting. How much he had given up on his own life after losing London. But it was equally beautiful to watch him find happiness and love again.

All of the characters felt very real, despite the speculative/fantastical story setting. Julian created a perfect balance between the two!

I loved this book so much. From the second that I picked up this book to the very last page, I was fully absorbed within the story. It really had everything I could have hoped for and more.

[Chrissy MacLaughlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Find My Way Down to You is a journey through love and grief and the love (both romantic and platonic) that can guide you through your grief. The fact that it contains a fantasy element really adds to the story and made the topic of death feel more approachable. I want to clarify that this is a YA book (but we don’t stop reading YA just because we reach adulthood!), and it does contain some heavier themes. What a gorgeous book! I’ll be checking out Julian Winters’ backlog now, for sure! 4.75⭐️

Thank you to Viking Books for Young Readers and NetGalley for the ARC!

[CourtneyRenee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to @netally and Penguin Young Readers Group for this ARC.

💗 YA
💗 Fantastical
💗 LQBTQ+ Rep
💗 Grief

A little commotion for the cover, its so pretty!

This book was emotional, breathtaking and tragic all at once and I loved it. It touched on grief realistically, it showed that there is no timeframe to "get over" someone that you once loved and still do. It showed that sometimes therapy is needed to push through grief to get to the healing on the other side.

4.5 stars!

[Elias H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

[Thank you to NetGalley and Viking Books for Young Readers for the eARC!]

If you like Hadestown, you need to read this book! It was a little too fast-paced for me (I would have loved to spend more time with these characters), but I absolutely loved the exploration of grief and what it means to move on.

[Sam Reads Books *Just the Highlights* · Rating 4 out of 5]

2026: 3.5

[Liz ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

NO ONE SPEAK TO ME IM SEVERELY UNWELL I CANT BREATHEEEEE

[Jefferz · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story of grief and loss mixed with contemporary romance and mythological fantasy flavor, Find My Way Down to You by Julian Winters is a wholesome and sweet YA novel covering somber topics. By exploring the long, individual road to healing while honoring loved ones lost, the book feels like a warm and supportive hug that maintains an uplifting and hopeful outlook even when the pain feels unending. Well‑intentioned and earnest, it sometimes plays things too safe and doesn’t push its strongest narrative elements far enough, but it remains an accessible read with strong YA appeal.

Highlights:
☕︎ Thoughtfully crafted and wholesome story set around grief, loss, personal sacrifices, and healing.
☕︎ Nice balance between character drama, fantasy elements, and romance. Underworld visuals are vibrantly portrayed.
☕︎ Appealing characters and an effective comparison between August’s chemistry with Cary vs London and other interests.

Considerations:
-Exploration of dark topics can feel surface level and the book purposely evades tough questions it asks but doesn’t ever answer. Romance and character development feels a bit off-balanced.
-Pacing is quite fast, overly casual, and many elements feel underdeveloped. Fantasy elements have conflicting details and oversights.
-Book reads quite young both in terms of the narrative content as well as the writing style. Level of detail can be quite lacking.

Marketed as a YA romance with crossover elements in fiction, social issues, and fantasy, the book blends a wide range of narrative components into a story focused on grief and loss. Its greatest strength is its relatability for YA readers. Purposely flawed and immature to a fault, the main character August and his internal logic match his age, highlighting teenage shortsightedness and tunnel vision. Winters captures teenage angst well, especially in the wake of August’s catastrophic loss of his boyfriend London, around whom he built his entire world. The portrayal of grief is particularly strong, from August pushing away those around him, including his well‑written dynamic with Max, to closing himself off from his parents and any hobbies tied to London. The book also thoughtfully reflects on how healing is deeply personal and different for everyone, requiring acceptance and self‑forgiveness.

Another area that is noteworthy is its handling of young first love, as well as queer joy and representation. As his first boyfriend, August would leap off a tower for London and as the story progresses, the book does a great job at showing potential areas of relationship conflict and mismatched wants that’re thrown to the wind during teenage love. As August encounters the aloof and grumpy Cary and the charismatic Milos, the comparison between them and their different dynamics is well done. The slow transition of August’s interest and conflicted feelings is smoothly handled and one of the stronger points of the book.

The fantasy elements add good narrative flavor and visual interest, and they’re generally well incorporated into the story. A mix of various forms of the afterlife crossed with mythological themes and characters, the book’s pops of fantasy increase the stakes and intrigue while providing opportunities for vibrant visuals that Winters does well. The descriptions of various locations and scenic areas of the Underworld nicely complement the book’s beautiful cover as August and Cary go back and forth between worlds. The Underworld also has a nice variety of different personalities and characters that are not only visually distinctive but also have great queer diversity as well.

While the book is well-crafted and nicely balances its character drama, romance, and fantasy aspects, it does so at the cost of depth and development in each individual area. The story has a fast pace feel to it on par with books targeted for YA readership, but it often feels like it loses a good deal of nuance in the process. While the vibe and tone were hopeful and encouraging, I was consistently underwhelmed by the story’s surface level exploration of its deep and serious topics. While the conversations between characters were good, the book would consistently pose a thoughtful and complex question, then completely evade answering it or cutting off the conversation with a distraction. The book’s fast pace and overly casual style of storytelling have a tendency to shortcut important character moments and skirt over other elements that don’t feel fully developed. The motif around August’s mother’s gardening and greenhouse felt like it wasn’t given enough attention considering its connection to the Underworld while August’s interest in music feels like a good idea that’s only lightly utilized in the story. The book has a lot of good narrative material but spreads itself a bit thin and doesn’t go very far with any of them.

The lack of development also affects the numerous side characters who don’t feel like they have enough time or development to be memorable. Worse, though August and Cary have great chemistry and play off each other well, the romance can feel one-sided or off balanced. Since the book only presents August’s POV, the reader knows what’s going on in his head and his interests in the other characters. The issue is that there really isn’t much time spent exploring Cary’s interest in the reverse direction or what he likes about August other than explaining his presence nearby; a point could be made that he’s the only one that has seen or cared about Cary, but it isn’t really elaborated. Even though this is a YA book that doesn’t require the most complex character writing and logic, it seems like an oversight. August also repeatedly comments about how Cary talks oddly like he’s from another time, but the dialogue doesn’t really portray that difference very well or consistently.

The same could also be applied to the various fantasy elements that are serviceable at a glance but have quite a few conflicting details that don’t really make sense or have enough time to develop them. Although the Underworld inhabitants are deathless and immortal, at what point after they were born as children did they randomly stop aging? If humans are not able to cross over into the Underworld or even see the Deathless, why is it that August’s friend Max can also see Cary in the pizza restaurant and acknowledge his order (why is Cary even ordering pizza to begin with? His presence there is explained but not his ordering of food). A lot of the Underworld mechanics simply exist and quite a few notable fantasy-related plot twists feel like they just kind of happen or circumstantially fit, lacking proper foreshadowing or setup to make the surprises work. Perhaps this may sound critical considering this book’s primary intent is a character story about grief and moving forward in life rather than a SFF one, but with so many of the book’s pages in a fairly short novel devoted to its fantasy elements, I would expect it to be a bit more polished. Or really, additional pages or slowing down the pacing a bit could’ve helped substantially. And though it’s not necessarily a fault of the book given its target YA readership, it’s worth noting that this book reads quite young despite including lightly discussed adult content. Between its characters that have appropriate but quite juvenile character logic, thematic discussions that get the job done but lack additional depth, and the overall limited level of detail, this is a YA book that likely won’t satisfy older readers.

Overall, as a heartfelt and hopeful journey of healing from the paralysis of grief, Find My Way Down to You is a success. Comforting, wholesome, and well‑pitched for YA readers, the book explores difficult topics in a soft, safe, and warm way with a nice flourish of fantasy elements to support it. Julian Winters is an author I’ve heard a lot of good things about and whose books I’ve been wanting to read for quite some time, but admittedly this one wasn’t my cup of tea despite its great premise. While sincere and having the best intentions, unfortunately this book can feel a bit lacking for mature readers due to its limited depth and serviceable, yet lackluster execution of its mythical fantasy ideas. However, for readers looking for a romantic story revolving around grief that is accessible and optimistic, this is a fine one to go with.

This review is based on a complimentary Advanced Reader Copy provided by Viking Books for Young Readers.

*For more reviews, book lists and reading updates, check out my blog TheBookGrind!

[Lucky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rounded down from 4.25

Reflective, magical, and sincere, Find My Way Down to You is a potent and masterful narrative about navigating loss.

The loss of a partner is messy and unnavigable at any point, let alone as a teenager. This story lets August be messy and depressed and still deeply caring in a way that my teenage self would have been moved and comforted by. His feelings of isolation in grief despite being loved by his family and friends feel palpably real.

I found myself frequently distracted by how obscure the motivations of the Aides characters and the mechanics of the underworld are. That said, the strength of August's story is far more impactful than the mythical elements are distracting to me.

If you are looking for a reflective YA romance about grief, growth, and all the tangled feelings wrapped between them, you are in the right place. I'm very glad I read it.

[Franky · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 ⭐

(+) :
- The idea of the Deathless and how they come to be is pretty intriguing. It takes inspiration from Greek mythology but it isn't encumbered by it, which, for me, I am grateful for. So many times books use Greek mythology as a crutch and, while this one definitely does at point, it also very much carves its own paths. The Deathless both are and are not Gods - they are immortal but that may not always be or have been the case. There’s something heartbreaking, also, at just how young the Deathless tend to be (just based on the ages of these characters) where they are teenagers, seemingly.
- I genuinely really like Cary. He’s closed off but also broken in his own way, but mainly he’s so passionate about what he does and ferrying the souls in the most humane way possible. I have…feelings about the end of his story arch, but I don’t want to get into spoilers here, so I won’t.
- The epilogue is very sweet and I like how it is a companion to the prologue.
- The second half of this book is far stronger than the first, in my opinion. I think this story takes far too long to really get kicked off and for us to really get a sense of what the story is planning to be (and why we should be rooting for the romance). The second half was quite charming.
- I love the colors of this cover and the overall design composition.
- I really like this title. It works in multiple ways and how it affectes August and that’s just solid.

(-) :
- I’m not going to beat around the bush here: I think August sucks and so many of the characters treat him like he is the most incredible person to ever exist. Yes he’s going through heavy duty grief and that is very understandable to make someone unlikeable. But about halfway through the book is when his grief turns and he STILL barely has a personality besides sad, tall, and writes music. We also don’t really get to see what he was like before this grief and we barely get to see what he’s like after it. I just don’t understand why Cary is so drawn to him! Besides August being, like, his first relationship. Which is also a theme of the book about how those types of relationships end!!
- Gotta be honest, the underworld being called ‘Aides’ really got on my nerves. I said above that the Greek mythos inspiration is pretty well done, but then it does stuff like this and it gets really Tumblr-core.
- The labyrinth bit is so sloppy. It basically just get deus ex machina-ed (literally) and that’s unfortunate. I think it could have been a time to really get August to grapple with everything that has happened and is happening on his own.
- The characters look so wonky. Cary looks okay, maybe because he’s upright, but also he’s so un-dynamic in how he’s just standing there. But August just…does not look good. It’s really unfortunate, because I do think this cover could have really be stellar.


WILL I READ THE NEXT ONE? : I don’t think so. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the writing style.

(HOW LONG) DO I THINK THEY’LL STAY TOGETHER? : I mean, it’s pretty clearly laid out in the epilogue.

*Thank you to Viking & Netgalley for providing this ARC!


SIMILAR BOOKS :
- 'You've Found Oliver' by Dustin Thao
- 'The House of Now and Then' by Edward Underhill
- 'Cemetery Boys' by Aiden Thomas

[Cornerofmadness · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a tough one for me to rate because the first half was probably a 2.5 and I nearly DNFed (I'll explain why later) but then it got going and in the end it's a 3.5 read that I rounded up. Yes this is a paranormal romantasy sort of YA but more importantly and that's where I was hung up in the beginning, this is a book about grief. Specifically, being trapped in grief and not moving forward. Grief is tidal. Grief can be immobilizing. But grief needs to be dealt with. You can't stop living.

And August isn't interested in it. He is mired. He is exhausting. I wasn't sure how Max, his best friend, was still hanging on. Here is my issue with the beginning of the book. August is so in love with London, his high school boyfriend, that he can not move on. He doesn't want to move on. He wants to wallow. And the more we learn about his and London's relationship the more I was thinking, this ain't love. This is toxic. No, London isn't abusive. But he's a bigger personality than August. August has made London his entire world. He even gives up his music because his boyfriend decided that being a journalist would be a better career for him. Think about that for a moment. August has no personality that London didn't craft for him. He's such a people pleaser that the only thing he wants is to please London forever. He has no plans that aren't plans London has laid out for them.

This presents a problem for me. I find it hard to cheer a relationship like this. So how did it redeem itself? That was a process.

Max, August's sapphic best friend, tries to set him up with the hotter than heck guy in the pizzaria they both work in. It goes badly and upon a second encounter at a college party Max dragged him to, August follows Cary and a young woman into a fountain. Cary is a psychopomp, a ferrier of the dead and oh yeah, he's your typical romantasy moody jackass of a romantic lead. That said, he's more interesting (to me) than August.

Realizing he's in the land of the dead you can see the Orpheus and Eurydice inspiration. You can also see the Sandman and the Endless inspiration too (to the point for a moment I wondered if this wasn't originally Sandman fanfic with the fandom filed off). Carys is only one of the Deathless. His family includes his brother Melos who weighs the souls and decides their fates, Henri the traveler, Poppi dreams and nightmares etc.

The afterlife is well imagined, again pulling from Greco-Roman myths. Naturally August wants to find London. And to be fair to August, he's carting around guilt over London's death because of the situation (it takes a while to fully see why he has all this guilt so I don't want to spoil it)

But naturally, as it says in the blurb, August feels attracted to Cary (which I wanted more of to really buy into it).

So what turned me around? Other characters (including Cary and one surprise one) also have my reservations about August and London's relationship and how August lost himself within it. So we're not getting this not-that-healthy relationship being touted as a great one because I dislike seeing that in books aimed at teens. August addresses some of his issues and gets a more healthy outlook and that is what salvaged some of this for me.

The ending is interesting. At the end of the day, I liked the book and Cary's life in particular.

[Faith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listen, sometimes a fantastic premise for a book is presented to you when you're not in the right brain space to be reading it. Sometimes, you do it anyway. And it hurts, but you really truly love it just the same.

Find My Way Down To You is a book about grief and healing; our protagonist, August, lost his high school boyfriend, London, to a car crash he still blames himself for years later. His life has become stagnant as a result, until he meets a man he shouldn't even be able to see; Cary, the ferrier of souls to the afterlife. Suddenly, things August thought were impossible become an option—apologize to London, and maybe even drag him back to the land of the living.

I had a major death in my life last year, so I was worried that I wouldn't be in a good place to enjoy this book, but the way the book was pitched, I had to give it a try. I'm grateful to be able to say that the way Julian Winters spoke about grief through August in this book was healing and validating. The way he reacted was not clean, but it was realistic, and his journey of healing was just as affirming. When you lose someone you love, your world stops, and it's impossible to understand how the earth is actually spinning. And there'll always be people, like there were in August's life, who don't understand that the healing isn't going to be a straight line. I worried the story might focus too much on moving on and making August realize that better things were ahead without properly dealing with his grief, and that wasn't the case. In fact, the way it was handled was truly beautiful; a balance of feeling your emotions and knowing that you have to live for something, someday, again, too.

The dynamic between August and Cary is, of course, the beating heart of this book. Cary was such a spectacular character with grief of his own hidden beneath layers of not wishing to be known. The concept of a character who only, in his own words, has moments and can't be something that is allowed to stay anywhere, especially not still, was truly evident with his words and actions on the page. I really adored him, and the way the book peeled back his layers to show you exactly what kind of a person he is was so compelling.

On that note, I also thoroughly enjoyed this book's depiction of the underworld/afterlife, and the Deathless characters that inhabited it. There were parts of it that I would have loved to sit in a little longer and see get fleshed out, like the Deathless who were once people themselves, though (slight spoilers!) we do touch on that idea a bit more later in the book, but I thought it was a unique take on something that is often overdone. I also thought the echoes of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth here were well done but not heavy-handed. I would have loved an even longer take on that part of the story in the labyrinth.

Overall, I adored this book and would recommend it in a heartbeat. Thank you so much again to the publisher and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.

[ObscureVi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review!

Please don't even let me get started on the cover, because I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to stop talking about it. Absolutely gorgeous, a masterpiece and... alright, I need to stop before it's too late. Just know one thing: when I say "Please give me a cover that will tell me something about the book, but at the same time scream READ ME?" this is exactly what I mean, okay?

The very first sentence of the blurb mentions You've Reached Sam and since I hold it very dear to me, I just knew I need to read this one and... trust me, it scratched the itch left by Dustin Thao (speaking about all three of his books that are currently published, not counting the short story).

Honestly, I'm not sure where to start, because I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything I just read. There's something about sadder/angsty books, that makes me want to reach for them, despite knowing that I probably won't cry (it's very rare for me to cry over a book and it usually needs to be either my favourite character dying or just something that hits my own personal experiences), but it just makes me want to... feel, if you know what I mean and it's something usually only this type of books can provide.

August's grief was written in a way that struck me and despite not crying, I could feel it as my own. I can't explain it, since emotions are a tricky thing, but it simply felt real to the point that it hurt in that good way, reminding you that you're still alive. August lost his boyfriend and kept blaming himself for the accident, despite knowing it's not his fault. It made him look even more human in my eyes, as we almost always feel guilty for things that were out of our control. I kept seeing myself in his character, especially as someone who still didn't fully made peace with suddenly losing a parent. Cary's character was such as complex and nothing about him was easy... but that's something I want you to find on your own, if you decide to give this book a chance, that is.

I often seen people making fun of YA novels, saying that they're not important, that they clearly aren't able to show as much emotions as adult books... but from my own experience? Most of the time young adult books (especially such as this, where we focus on grief and other important themes/topics) have a wider range than any adult book I have ever read.

I'm so grateful that this book found me and in a way, I think I feel lighter now. Almost as if watching August slowly work through his emotions also helped to better grasp my own.

I absolutely loved the ending and I feel like it was the perfect way to end the book. Not to metion the epilogue, that was a nice bonus and I loved it even more. If we ever get a second book, even if it will be just an interconnected standalone? I will read it in a heartbeat.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

My desire to read Find My Way Down to You stemmed directly from how much I loved Julian Winters’s adult books, and I was not disappointed. He writes with just as much heart in his YA novels!

We are first introduced to August (Auggie) two years after a tragic accident resulted in the death of his first boyfriend, someone who was a close friend before they took that leap into a relationship. Losing a first love is devastating, and Auggie took the loss incredibly hard. Two years later, he is still deeply embroiled in his grief. Enter Cary, a mysterious boy whose good looks and prickly attitude intrigue Auggie for the first time in years. But Cary keeps appearing around the exact same time as several unexpected deaths, and Auggie is determined to figure out why.

That investigation eventually leads Auggie straight into the Underworld, where he discovers Cary’s true identity: the Ferryman of Souls. Once in the Underworld, Auggie realizes he might actually be able to track down his deceased boyfriend to get the closure he desperately needs. But there’s a major catch: Auggie can only enter the Underworld five times before he is forced to make an absolute choice. Does he stay in the Underworld forever, or return to the mortal realm and never come back until his natural time comes? What follows is a moving journey of learning how to process loss, let go of the past, and open up to the possibility of moving forward and loving again.

Overall, this is a phenomenal read for YA audiences who may not yet have been exposed to profound loss. It portrays the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of grief while reassuring readers that no one grieves in the exact same way and that there is another side you can eventually reach.

My only real complaint is that the ending felt a bit rushed. After all the extensive world-building and the rich journey we take with both Auggie and Cary (who undergoes plenty of growth himself through Auggie's influence!), everything wraps up in a span of just two or three chapters. While I was ultimately satisfied with the ending and loved how it set up readers to anticipate August's future, it felt like it arrived a bit too quickly.

I also completely adored the little teaser at the end hinting at another budding relationship, which made my heart so happy! It was a beautiful, emotional ride that easily earns a 4-star rating.

[Ali · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

Quite frankly, I was both enthralled and a bit skeptical by the end of Find My Way Down to You. Julian Winters did a superb job of creating such a beautiful underworld— indeed, the descriptions were incredibly vivid. I felt myself taking them in like a movie, rather than just an image in my mind. (Don’t even get me started on the magnificence of the cover art.) August/Auggie’s grief was so overwhelmingly real at times too that I couldn’t help but get swept up by his turmoil (I even teared at one point). Cary’s aloof personality, turned shy demeanor, was adorable too and I rooted for him from the start.

That said, I unfortunately didn’t feel an emotional connection, nor any chemistry, between Auggie and London during the ‘before’ scenes/flashbacks. As such, it was difficult for me to understand why Auggie was so determined to find him. In fact, based on the trajectory of how their relationship unfolded, I assumed Auggie would realize that London was somewhat toxic, never truly allowing Auggie to discover what he wanted his future to be. On a similar note, I was put off occasionally by how quickly Auggie seemed to fall in love. The pacing of his romance with Cary felt rushed and it seemed Winters wanted the readers to believe their love was deeper than it actually was. The same goes for Auggie’s emotional development— very little provoked his epiphany towards the end (he was so hung up on London until suddenly, he wasn’t). In my opinion, the novel should have been a bit longer, as to give Auggie and Cary more time together and to give Auggie the opportunity to move on in a more logical manner.

As an aside, I also felt disappointed by the lack of conflict during the labyrinth sequence, as there were fewer external obstacles than I expected (based on the explanation of its setup).

While Find My Way Back to You didn’t win me over completely, it was still a very enjoyable read and quite thought provoking. Despite its demographic skewing more YA, I wholeheartedly believe that it should be read by readers of all ages.

Thank you very much to Viking Books for Young Readers, Penguin Young Readers Group, and NetGalley for the privilege to read and review this ARC!

[Brady · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Viking Books for Young Readers and NetGalley for this eARC, these opinions are my own! Julian Winters this is beautifully heartbreaking and heartwarming and simply wonderful! August’s life has been about going through the motions ever since he lost his love two years ago. He’s stuck in his grief and can’t seem to move through it. That doesn’t even hit on his guilt over the fact that it wasn’t him who passed instead. He’s tired, tired of the sympathy, tired of the expectations, and tired of being pushed to move on. Then he meets Cary, who’s the first guy to catch his eye since his boyfriend passed, but Cary is rude and not very approachable. There’s also the fact when Auggie stumbles a cross a dead body Cary is there and disappears without a trace. No one believes him of course but he knows what he saw. And when he comes a cross Cary again at a party he’s determined to talk to him, only doing so has him ending up in another realm, the underworld to be exact. Turns out Cary is the ferrier of souls. Aides, the underworld, is nothing like our world. It’s beautiful and you can feel the power. But best of all there is no expectations and weight for Auggie there. And soon he realizes that he may just be able to find the one he’s lost and have the goodbye he never got before. But Aides is not all it seems, there’s plenty of secrets and misleading that happens there. And what starts off as dislike for Cary soon turns into something more. But could a god ever love a mortal? Will Auggie find what he seeks? Or will his attempts trap him in the underworld forever? A story about grief and moving through it, but also about how that process is different for everyone! A story about love and the lengths we will go for it! As always with Julian’s books I was completely in my feels, I was sucked in and unable to put it down! I loved that it was fantasy without being fantasy and romance but also something more! Full of queer joy but also queer grief, love and heartbreak, finding your way back to yourself! I absolutely loved the underworld elements and characters and could easily read more books about them! This one is stunning and unputdownable!