I'm a Lot: Surviving Myself and All the People I've Been

by Alison Leiby

In this witty, absurd, and surprisingly moving memoir-in-essays, comedian Alison Leiby unpacks the multitudes women are told to be—and the joy of refusing to pick just one.

Have you ever frozen when someone asks, "So, tell me about yourself?" If so, take a page from I'm a Lot. Alison Leiby proudly embraces many Housewives stan. Discount shopaholic. Former jock. Happily single. Childless by choice and proud cat mom. Through these different roles and identities, Leiby reveals her hard-earned wisdom about what it's like to be a woman who does it all (except the things that make her say "uh, no thank you.")

When she was nineteen years old, a complication from back surgery left Leiby on her deathbed. After a surprising recovery, you might assume Leiby was ready to seize life by the you-know-what's. But instead of letting this one miraculous experience define her, Leiby's brush with death made her realize there is nothing more beautiful in this life than just getting to be yourself. And while women are still expected to conform to many patriarchal labels, Leiby ignores the pressure to be palatable and instead champions all the joyful, weird, and complicated selves she brings to the world.

In fourteen personal essays full of deadpan jokes, tender moments of candid introspection, and insightful social commentary, Leiby explores what it really means to occupy various identities in the modern age. She ditches the manufactured Instagram persona to show that sometimes the puzzle pieces don’t always fit to create a perfect picture, but that doesn't mean we are incomplete.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Humor, Essays, Audiobook, Self Help, Biography

289 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 7, 2026

Reviews

[Laura Donovan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an impressive book of essays by a true millennial eighties baby. Though I have older half-siblings, I was raised like an only child, so I related deeply to Alison’s need for solitude. She’s been through medical hell as well, having nearly died at 19 and faced similarly horrible health issues just a few short years later. She writes about terrifying experiences with humor and wit, and I absolutely see why she was a great addition to the writer’s room on THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL. She describes the ways women’s pain is not taken seriously. She also has some interesting essays about writing comedy during the 2016 election cycle and breaking up with Twitter after a certain billionaire ruined it. This is exactly the sort of memoir I am always looking out for.

[Kaya · Rating 1.5 out of 5]

Ooof… For a book titled, “I’m A Lot”, this gave me very little. You don’t like picnics because you have chronic back pain? Fascinating. You love watching shows on Bravo? Astounding. You like sports! Incredible! You are a comedian …Surprising?? The quote on the cover comparing Alison Leiby to David Sedaris is the funniest part of this book, in that it must be a joke.

I expected this book to make me laugh.
I maybe chuckled twice.

Perhaps I'm being too harsh, but I'm just really not understanding the 5 star reviews for this one.

Overall feeling: I’m bored 🤷‍♀️

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are many kind things I could say about this funny and thoughtful book of memoir essays but for the sake of brevity I'll pick two:

1. This book helped me develop more empathy for people with chronic pain and

2. I had to stop reading at several points because Leiby's writing was so good it inspired me to write. And that's saying something, considering how much writer's block I've had!

This book captures what I love about memoir-- Leiby is a fairly ordinary person on the outside but her book reminds us that we all have cool stories and rich inner lives

[Emma K · Rating 4 out of 5]

made me feel seen, made me laugh, made me emotional, and made me have empathy for the hardships i haven’t experienced. i love being a lot

[Rosie]

“Women spend so much of our lives needing to identify ourselves as a certain kind of woman. Are you a Carrie? A Charlotte? A Miranda? A Samantha? And if you’re a Samantha, are you a sex-positive publicist who loves jewel-tone suits, or are you a Victorian child who wears bows and knee socks and is actually an overpriced doll?”

I’m A Lot: Surviving Myself and All The People I’ve been is a collection of memoir style essays from comedian Alison Leiby that examines our tendency to self define. With chapters ranging from “I’m an Only Child,” to “I’m in Pain,” to “I’m too Online,” Leiby examines the experiences and aspects of her life that have led her to self define as one thing or another over the course of life. Her essays let her humor shine while also bringing to the forefront candor on topics like having chronic pain, having an abortion, and being childfree. These ‘heavier’ topics are spoken about not with the hush of heft society try’s to push on women, but with the commonplace they’re owed given how many women feel pushed to self define in one way or another.

I really enjoyed this book. There were some essays that resonated more with me, naturally. The Only Child chapter was a highlight that I found so much shared experience in: “I love that as an only child I got to have a real, individual relationship with each of my parents. I know lots of people with siblings also have robust relationships with each parent, and look, this isn’t about you. This is about me, because I’m an only child and everything is about me.” I appreciated Leiby’s humor and candor and the general colloquially manner of approach (compliment) to topics that she brought throughout.

Thank you to NetGalley and The Dial Press for the Arc. I’m A Lot: Surviving Myself and All The People I’ve Been by @alisonleiby is set to release on July 7, 2026

[PJ Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

Picked this up because it sounded like a self-help book, but it's just a collection of memoir essays and intense self-aware millennial humor. I enjoyed some of her essays and the intimate and vulnerable recounting of her life, but others not so much. The collection itself has an inflated sense of purpose and a little bit of an identity issue as they are strung together in a way that makes you go "... okay?"

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore Alison's work (especially on Ruined), and the essays on being single and being childless are incredibly resonant for me.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up. While some of these essays were definitely funny or moving, or thought-provoking, a few fell quite flat for me. That said, I'll definitely support a book by a suburban Anne Arundel County girl anytime. Worth reading.

[Sam Sebesta · Rating 4 out of 5]

The human experience is so much fun to dive into. The author goes into multiple descriptors she has referred to herself as including "I'm Child-Free, I'm a Jock and I'm in Pain."
It's all to easy to come up with those lines when asked to tell others about yourself or describe yourself, but the stories behind why those labels are there are so fun to listen to and learn about. The author has such a wide array of stories that shape who she is and that I think many can relate to on some levels.

We may all have a label or two that stick out or that we use to describe ourselves, but they don't have to define us. They are merely silent connections to all those around us. Shared versions of different lives. How fascinating it is to be a cumulation of all of our experiences.

[Addie · Rating 4.5 out of 5]

4.5*

[Meli Muniz · Rating 4 out of 5]

spotify audiobook recommendations finally didn’t fail me ! had no expectations & was surprisingly very pleased

[jk · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ummmm I really wanted to like this and I’m a big fan of Leiby’s comedy but it just did not work for me at all. Lots of telling instead of showing which is, sorry, a big writing no-no.

Leiby has suffered a lot due to her chronic pain, but I’m not sure the presentation in the book worked for me: seemingly each chapter should share a different part of herself but actually multiple chapters were about her chronic pain and her back issues. Obv this pain has been a significant part of her life but it really made me wonder why the book wasn’t structured instead around this One Big Issue with various stories in between, maybe with her pain tying it all together.

She also repeated herself a ton - each chapter Leiby reintroduced characters and situations I already knew from earlier in the book (the character of Divya, for example, as well as swimming and Cornell. Omg you went to an Ivy we get it). Switch it up babe!!

[Shemene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh ok?

[Jquick99 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Never heard of the author when I got the audiobook from the library.

In the prologue…about women…
“I think we all feel pressured to do on some level…define ourselves again and again.” and “Women spend so much of our lives needing to identify ourselves as a certain kind of woman.” Really? I’m a woman and have never once felt pressured nor even thought about any of this.

Then the author tells us at the beginning of chapter 1 that she doesn’t “really” celebrate her bday. So what, neither do I nor any other adult I know. But, the author then feels the need to explain why…as if NOT celebrating is odd.

DNF. Obviously, didn’t last long.

[Dan Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was more of a 2.5. We saw her do a one-woman show and she did a great job injecting humor in a vulnerable, serious topic. Unfortunately not everyone's life is meant to be laid out in a memoir. She's a fantastic writer, but she has maybe two worthwhile essays in here and the rest are pretty superficial. It would be like if I wrote a memoir about myself and dedicated a chapter to The Sopranos and another one to how much I love fantasy football. Who else cares?

[Katie Devlin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Whiny

“Lollllll” and “jk” and an entire chapter devoted to bravo shows written in a memoir deserves federal prison

[Courtney Panasuk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Realistically a 3.5 that I just don't have the heart to round up to a 4.

Alison was adorable! I keep doing this thing where I pick up memoirs from people I don’t know and then am surprised when I don’t know about them. That said, I really liked learning about Alison’s career and past while getting her helpful nuggets of wisdom along the way. It was chock full of millennial humor that made me cringe at times but I overall enjoyed this nice easy listen on audiobook.

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

she feels like someone i would know. the essays didn’t make me lol and sometimes were just ok, but the author is a good hang and made some good points.
3.9-4.2

[Jacob Kolody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, deeply introspective and relatable. Maybe my favourite memoir/essay collection I’ve ever read.

[Andy Metzger · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a reader, I didn’t love this book. As an advocate for female writers and comedians, I liked it.

This is a tricky book to read. There is no dialogue. It’s just stories. Clever and funny, but no LOL moments for me. The author is an “interesting” person. She speaks highly of herself and speaks in absolutes. She talks down to her readers, repeats things, and over-explains everything. She doesn’t give her readers the benefit of the doubt.

I am sure she is a kind, inclusive person, and she is constantly worried about offending people. And this comes across as inauthentic and strange (in the way she writes). Or she’s not totally comfortable being herself. Although she mentions constantly how much she loves herself and how amazing she is. She also mentions how unique she is and how her experiences are uncommon and rare.

My opinion, memoirs are the chance to tell your story— raw, authentic, open. It’s a chance for other people to relate to and feel connected to others. The author didn’t do this. She wants her audience to view her as special, unattainable, and remarkable. That’s just not something I’m looking for in a memoir.

[Rachel B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for an advanced copy!

I know of Alison from her podcast, Ruined. She is a delight on that show and in clips I’ve seen of her standup. I knew that this would be funny, and it is, but I wasn’t it to be as poignant as it is. Alison breaks down her memoir into chapters that each cover something that defines her. It certainly helped that I found myself relating to her in many chapters (as a political, childfree only child), but I was really enthralled with her chapters on her chronic health issues. She had talked about some of it on the podcast but not to this extent.

The biggest reason why this memoir works is because it involves actual reflection on one’s life and choices. I have read some memoirs where I feel like the author is just regurgitating stories without taking time to really give us insight into them. But Alison is able to weave reflection and humor into serious (and not serious!) topics.

[CJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no idea who Alison Leiby was before I read this book, but with the title being as it is, I couldn’t help but pick it up. I too feel like I’m a lot and I also feel like I have survived my past selves.

And boy was I right. I had such a good time reading this book, not only because I related to a few of the essays (the one about being childfree, too online, single and not having a best friend), but also because even when I didn’t relate Leiby has such a nice way of writing. It’s light despite discussing serious topics like the chronic pain she had been in for nearly 2 decades. Of course, it could also be that I’m just nosy… But I rather give Leiby her flowers and say it’s all her.

Anyways on to my favourite highlights to convince someone else to read this memoir too:
“In fact I’m a bit like my cat in that way: I need to be left to my own devices, I have a lot of boundaries and take a really long time to warm up to people. But I still can and one day might!”

“There is a gentleness with yourself that comes with age. When you start to actually live in the world and not look at it hoping for it to accept you, you stop caring a lot about the noise.” (Funny enough we had this realisation around the same age. I’m 27 when this started to click for me and Leiby describes having felt this at 28. Is it the frontal lobe? Perhaps…)

“I have spent so much of my life obsessed with who I am at the moment that sometimes it’s easy to forget I became her over time.”

[Gem · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm probably biased because I love Alison Leiby but I really fucking enjoyed this book.

I highly recommend the audiobook which is narrated by Alison. There are a couple of moments where Alison genuinely laughs at something she's recounting and it's just the most fantastic thing.

[Olivia Koscik · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and Allison’s voice. The book was funny and engaging. I felt like i was chatting with an old friend.

[Aubree · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the essays landed but most missed the mark for me. Think if I was a millennial it may of been a more enjoyable, relatable read. My favorite parts were the notes. Don’t skip them!

[Alexis Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

She was dismissed by her doctors until the results came in and viola! Surprise surprise…she was correct! May Alison run for office? I think so! Also sign me up for a thc cafe date anytime 😂🥂

[Skylar De Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

enjoyed the audiobook! I think I can only listen to audiobooks when they’re women talking about themselves.

[Pam · Rating 3.75 out of 5]

Bios /essays are always fun as little glimpses into people's lives.

[Lexi Serido · Rating 3 out of 5]

i really liked the way that this book made me consider the various ways i have identified myself throughout time. whether it’s as an athlete, a student, a sister, a friend, each identity i’ve ever known experienced has made me uniquely me! very relatable essays surrounding life after athletics and being a NARP, as well as medical/health issues that sometimes feel like they’ll never be resolved. the writing style was fun and conversational - i even laughed out loud a few times

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading about Alison's life, especially about her abortion and struggle with chronic pain. But for a comedian, I expected it to be funnier. I found myself skimming through most of the chapters. Still worth a read!