52 Fights: A Newlywed's Confession

by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson

I used to be the sort of woman for whom marriage seemed more like an ending – no more first dates, spontaneous driving trips alone, or taking pride in my self-sufficiency – rather than the beginning of a new way of life. I had emerged from my chaotic early twenties secure with the knowledge that I could take care of myself, and I was apprehensive about adding another person permanently to the mix. Unlike some of the more conventional heroines in popular women’s novels, I did not spend my days fantasizing about engagement rings and china pattern selections. To me, marriage ultimately meant surrender, boredom, the possibility of waking up and realizing you had become the kind of woman you swore you’d never be. But, of course, the moment I proclaimed my romantic independence, I met a wonderful man who was so different from anyone I’d been with in the past, and before I could say “planning a wedding is not my kind of thing” I was envisioning our names together on a gaudy mailbox, feeling jealous when I caught him looking at other women in the street, and nodding yes to his proposal to become his wife. Before long, I had the perfect dress, photographer, and reception location; ten months later, on June 1, 2002, shortly after my twenty-eighth birthday, Matt and I said, “I do”.

Genres: Nonfiction, Marriage, Chick Lit, Amazon, Relationships

324 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 7, 2005

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wonder if the author had to whittle down to 52 fights because she fights about ev-er-y-thing? She sounds resentful of her husband's family, his success and his money.
She goes on an on about how she is not going to change for a man yet she has expectations of changing him.
Late in the book she concedes that change is necessary for herself too.
This book was a chore to finish.
If you see this one, pass it over because there are so many good reads out there.

[Leslie Jem · Rating 3 out of 5]

I initially found this book very encouraging; apparently, other couples experienced many of the same adjustment to marriage that Patrick and I did. I enjoyed reading about their growth over the course of a year. However, when I discovered that the book is no longer in print, I started to wonder what happened to the author and her husband. So I did a web search and couldn't find anything current about them, just publicity photos from 3 years ago. Not knowing how their marriage is today is very troubling; coupled with the book going out of print, I wonder if they're still together.

[Ruth Poproski · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not worth the time. The concept of this book is promisinh, but the authour displays a lack of maturity in her thinking amd reflection, rarely discusses the resolution to the various "fights" she has with her husband, and more often than not these so-called fights are just her being upset that her husband is different than her. Basically, this is a poorly written series of "Dear Diary" entries, with little to no value in terms of useful takeaways for the reader.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting concept for a book. The fights people have as they learn to live together during he first year of being married. Many say the hardest year of their life.

But the author spends the book outlining all the ways her husband needs to change. She mentions sometimes when she must do better but fails in the next chapter. She’s good at forgiving herself and giving herself some slack but she does not give her husband the same generous curtesy in the book.

I wonder if she did in their marriage. I believe she probably did.

[Esther Duttweiler · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't waste your time on this book. Only reason I finished it was that I wasn't sure they'd still be married by the end of it. I mean, even the author spends half the book pretty much assuming they're eventually going to get divorced. She's also self-absorbed, petty, and manipulative. Her husband doesn't exactly sound like a peach either (spending $2000 on a heated bathroom floor and not telling your wife, seriously?). It was downright painful to read at times. As an aside, does anyone know how to remove books from my Kindle cloud...?

[Val · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story of the first year of marriage between author and her husband, along with the fun,laughter and issues marriage sometimes brings with it. I wasn’t sure what to expect, if I’m honest though I can see the idea behind the narrative, it is true that married life is different for couples that pre marriage, I could certainly identify with some of the scenarios she laid out, but there was, it seemed to me, also an element that almost everything was an issue.

[Cym · Rating 4 out of 5]

52 Fights is a catchy title, but in reality the book is a mix of fights, disagreements and issues. I could relate with the thoughts and feelings of the author. I find myself overthinking my own marriage too. Although there are some typographical errors, this seemingly diary of a book is amusing.

[Kari Kirfman · Rating 4 out of 5]

One woman's marriage

I thight that this was a great view of one woman and her marriage, and she tried to tie in with similar problems from different married couples she knows. Good, quick read.

[Alli · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hot mess relationship

I found myself rolling my eyes a LOT. She seems very reactive and he sounds like an asshole. I am glad they found growth in their relationship because it sounded like a hot mess.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have been married 20 years so reading this kind of feels like somebody thinks they have their act together after one year. It was interesting but the advice was not super great. And her husband didn’t seem very nice either

[Dipti · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm done reading this book - I can't read anymore. Not interesting and there are too many good and interesting books out there.

[Lillie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was alright

This was a fun read. Not anything fantastic, but I enjoyed my time there watching two people trying to accommodate to each other and settle into a life together.

[Rani Scotney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very reflective

A good manual for newlyweds! Should probably be sitting in self help section. I found myself being able to relate to a lot of what was written

[Courtney Sobolewski]

DnF

[Lacey Louwagie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am totally nosy when it comes to other people's marriages -- I will read almost anything that allows me to peek into someone else's most intimate relationship. So this book satisfied me on that front, although that was pretty much the only front it satisfied me on.

The title is somewhat misleading, as Patterson does not actually lay out the detail of 52 fights from her first year of marriage but instead uses each chapter to examine areas of tension, some of which manifest in fights but most of which just leave her seething and ruminating to herself and trying to make a bigger point about the nature of marriage. But the writing is pretty pedestrian, and her "revelations" are trite and obvious. I didn't really care about her friends' marriages, either, although I think she included their perspective so that it would look like she at least attempted to get out of her own head. It would have been nice if she had interwoven some more references to other marriage books, research, etc. to add some depth to her analysis of her situation.

Also, I try really hard not to judge memoir writers because they are doing a brave thing by putting their real lives and vulnerabilities out there for everyone to see, but there were so many times when Patterson just came across as whiny. I was on her husband's side for most of the fights that involved "Let's get shit done" v. her preference for leisure.

[Richard A. Cunningham, Jr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fight #53 Right here!

I stopped reading this book about a third of the way in. I was so pissed at the author. Could she not see what a great guy Matt was for her? Is she too blind by her own delusional ideal of what perfection should be to see how good she has it? I made an effort to read reviews others had posted about this book and felt bad because the majority of them were bashing the author.
I continued reading on and even highlighting note worthy sentences. At one point around chapter 49ish, I exclaimed out loud to my wife, "this bitch is seriously pissing me off!" My wife couldn't wait for me to finish this book and stop complaining about it. One chapter she jumps her husbands shit, in public in the middle of a conversation when she should be proud of his accomplishment. The next chapter she's thinking that she can't quit her job to write, if her marriage fails she will be broke and jobless. I was livid!
To her credit, she tries to resolve the issue by chapters end.
I gave this book 4 stars because it made me look at my marriage differently, it made me think and it aroused emotions in me. 1st disbelief in what I was reading, 2nd anger at how could she and 3rd relief that I'm glad I'm not married to her.

[Kareem · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting book. Lot of people say the early months are the most innocent time of a marriage but that really isn't always so. Liked the insight into the in-law 'dynamics.' Have always been intrigued by how the other family members (parents, siblings, etc) react to a union and how they see a couple from the outside, so to speak.

[Christina, Join Me on Storygraph! · Rating 4 out of 5]

REally liked this. It's a tale of a newlywed and her disagreements with her new husband... it's more than that, though...it's how these disagreements built their marriage and made them a team.

Good, FAST, read overall.

[Whitney · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was super excited for this book. It started out pretty funny and relatable, and each chapter title reflects totally true issues. However. I couldn't STAND this girl by the end. She's super whiney needy. It ended a few chapters too late :-/

[Rick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading a marriage book by a lady pushed me to consider things from the women's point of view, which was an interesting exercise.

I didn't agree with all of her conclusions, or her standards for right and wrong. But that's a good exercise as well.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

52 Fights? It should be 365 fights... one for every day of the first year of their marriage. I finished this book only to see if this couple made it through the first year of their marriage without getting divorced.

[Madelyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute book, nothing prize winning, but good for a light read.

[Stacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious reminder of what marriage is really about. Thanks Mom for the great recommendation- helped a confused newley wed out!

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Feels like it was taken directly from my own first year of marriage! Strongly suggested to any newlywed bride!

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sounds familiar.

This sums up perfectly the give and take required in any relationship. I can easily relate to the compromise necessary to move forward.

[Stefanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just bad.

The author of this text came across as whiny and immature. I was sorely disappointed with this text and I'm thankful that it was offered as a free ebook.

[Cody Ray · Rating 2 out of 5]

This might be useful for some people; to me it just sounded like the author wasn't ready for marriage. So much pettiness. So much resentment. So much me, me, me from the author.

[Naiya mehta · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-have for newlyweds!!!

[Linda]

Really cute book to give to newlyweds to let them know that "fights" are a normal part of getting to know each other.