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Wishing on Baby Dust
#1 Amazon Bestseller in Christian Women's Fiction
Top 5 Amazon Bestseller in Contemporary Christian Fiction
Top 15 Amazon Bestseller in Women's Fiction & Romance
"Anyone with a uterus and a heart will gain something from these beautiful women!"
-Stacy Lynn Carroll, author of Shattered Hearts and My Name is Bryan
"I can't recommend this book highly enough--to women currently struggling with infertility, to those of us who have been there, and also to perfectly fertile women who are hoping to understand a little better what it's like."
-Cindy Baldwin, blogger at Being Cindy Baldwin
Infertility stinks. No one knows that better than Megan. After six years of insanity-inducing hormone drugs and desperate prayers, all she has to show for her efforts are enough negative pregnancy tests to fill a bassinet. All around her women are accidentally getting pregnant—like her star piano student—while Megan remains hopelessly barren. Megan’s never felt so alone. But she’s not the only one struggling.
Christina has just entered the world of infertility, made worse by the fact her husband isn’t ready to be a father. Their marriage, already hanging in the balance, is being torn apart.
Then there’s Kyra, the mother of a precocious three-year-old. She’s shocked to be struggling with secondary infertility. A baby is priceless, but sometimes Kyra feels like she’s being forced to choose which commandment to stay out of debt, or multiply and replenish the earth.
When Megan and Christina are assigned as Kyra’s visiting teachers, they all realize that what you see isn’t necessarily what’s beneath the surface. Some secrets aren’t worth the cost of keeping them.
Buy now to follow these three women on their incredible journeys of faith, healing, and friendship.
Top 5 Amazon Bestseller in Contemporary Christian Fiction
Top 15 Amazon Bestseller in Women's Fiction & Romance
"Anyone with a uterus and a heart will gain something from these beautiful women!"
-Stacy Lynn Carroll, author of Shattered Hearts and My Name is Bryan
"I can't recommend this book highly enough--to women currently struggling with infertility, to those of us who have been there, and also to perfectly fertile women who are hoping to understand a little better what it's like."
-Cindy Baldwin, blogger at Being Cindy Baldwin
Infertility stinks. No one knows that better than Megan. After six years of insanity-inducing hormone drugs and desperate prayers, all she has to show for her efforts are enough negative pregnancy tests to fill a bassinet. All around her women are accidentally getting pregnant—like her star piano student—while Megan remains hopelessly barren. Megan’s never felt so alone. But she’s not the only one struggling.
Christina has just entered the world of infertility, made worse by the fact her husband isn’t ready to be a father. Their marriage, already hanging in the balance, is being torn apart.
Then there’s Kyra, the mother of a precocious three-year-old. She’s shocked to be struggling with secondary infertility. A baby is priceless, but sometimes Kyra feels like she’s being forced to choose which commandment to stay out of debt, or multiply and replenish the earth.
When Megan and Christina are assigned as Kyra’s visiting teachers, they all realize that what you see isn’t necessarily what’s beneath the surface. Some secrets aren’t worth the cost of keeping them.
Buy now to follow these three women on their incredible journeys of faith, healing, and friendship.
333 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2015
3 people are currently reading
457 people want to read
About the author
Lydia Winters
5 books182 followersLydia Winters decided in first grade that she’d grow up to be three things—a mom, a teacher, and a writer. She’s lucky enough to have accomplished all three tasks. Lydia received her bachelor’s in history education from Utah Valley University. Soon after leaving her teaching career behind, she became a mother to adorable twin boys, who guarantee her life is never dull.
Lydia is married to the most supportive man in the world. He regularly takes care of the twins and cooks dinner so she can escape with her laptop to chase her dream of being a writer. When she has time for hobbies, Lydia is a reality TV junkie, loves to cross-stitch, and sometimes even finds time to play the piano. She eats way too much chocolate and wishes she liked things like running or yoga.
Lydia is married to the most supportive man in the world. He regularly takes care of the twins and cooks dinner so she can escape with her laptop to chase her dream of being a writer. When she has time for hobbies, Lydia is a reality TV junkie, loves to cross-stitch, and sometimes even finds time to play the piano. She eats way too much chocolate and wishes she liked things like running or yoga.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
January 30, 2015
Like the author, I too wanted to be a mother when I grew up. In fact, at my kindergarten graduation, I was able to loudly declare my future calling of motherhood into the microphone. And then I got married. And was told that I was infertile.
This book brought every thought and feeling from those dark days rushing back. I remembered details long buried in my mind. And I cried right along with the characters in the book. But instead of the pain I had once experienced, I saw victory. And determination.
I am now a mom to 4 miracle little girls, through the gift of adoption and modern medicine. Because the road to motherhood is so sacred a journey and we took a different route than most to get here, I was so nervous to read this book. I have read books with similar subjects in the past and have been disappointed and heartbroken by some of the terminology and attitude, especially in regards to adoption. My heart literally soared to hear all of the "positive adoption terms" in this book and to have my own feelings so eloquently expressed.
I am grateful to have been able to read this beautiful book and take my own walk down memory lane tonight. I know that my story is irrelevant in this review, but I did want to add something that I heard recently that I just love, "Adoption and birth are one day events. Everything else is just parenting." Thank you, dear Lydia for writing a book that speaks to MOMS, no matter how we got here.
This book brought every thought and feeling from those dark days rushing back. I remembered details long buried in my mind. And I cried right along with the characters in the book. But instead of the pain I had once experienced, I saw victory. And determination.
I am now a mom to 4 miracle little girls, through the gift of adoption and modern medicine. Because the road to motherhood is so sacred a journey and we took a different route than most to get here, I was so nervous to read this book. I have read books with similar subjects in the past and have been disappointed and heartbroken by some of the terminology and attitude, especially in regards to adoption. My heart literally soared to hear all of the "positive adoption terms" in this book and to have my own feelings so eloquently expressed.
I am grateful to have been able to read this beautiful book and take my own walk down memory lane tonight. I know that my story is irrelevant in this review, but I did want to add something that I heard recently that I just love, "Adoption and birth are one day events. Everything else is just parenting." Thank you, dear Lydia for writing a book that speaks to MOMS, no matter how we got here.
December 5, 2014
Aaaahhhh! This book is so needed and so enjoyable. Several of my friends struggle with infertility and I don't really know how to support them and I'm nervous about what's okay to ask. Walking along Christina's, Megan's and Kierra's unique journeys opened my eyes about the pure devastation infertile couples can feel while still making these characters feel like human beings who are more than just their infertility issues. The direct medical discussion, frank emotional expression and charming friendships make this book a must read for anyone who loves someone touched by infertility.
January 23, 2015
It is no secret that Kate did not come easily to our family. I have blogged more than once about the years we waited for her—first, when my health wasn't stable enough to think about pregnancy, and later, when we were trying and failing to get pregnant. I have lived my whole life with a terminal genetic illness and, since high school, dealt with a host of dramatically life-altering other medical problems as well... and yet, in all of that, wanting a baby and not being able to have one was one of the absolute most painful experiences I've ever had. Infertility, and the years of waiting that came before it, brought me to the brink in a way that nothing else has; more than anything else I've lived through, it made me question my own ability to get up every morning and face the world. Although we're not trying for another baby right now and I'm finding myself surprisingly content with where I'm at for the moment, the scars from those painful years are ones that I will always carry on my heart.
It's not really a surprise, then, that I was immediately drawn to the title of Lydia Winters' first book—WISHING ON BABY DUST. (Lydia Winters is the pen name of Lindzee Armstrong, a fellow Utah writer with whom I connected a few months ago.) I knew immediately what the title meant; "baby dust" is the phrase used in the infertility world to label that magical and unpredictable ability to get pregnant that most women have and we infertiles lack. When you are infertile, baby dust might as well be fairy dust—they both seem equally impossible most of the time.
When I got my hands on a copy of WISHING ON BABY DUST last week, I wasn't sure what to expect. Could one little novel capture the complicated gamut of emotions I'd experienced in my own infertility journey? Infertility isn't a topic that's usually given much space in fiction, and when it is it's usually a passing reference or a subplot. Would a novel all about infertility really work?
My friends, the answer is—at least for me—yes. From the first chapter, when six-years-infertile Megan is packing up her house to move and going over all the ways that those rooms have encapsulated her frustrated desire for motherhood, I was hooked. I blew through the book in about two days, reading in every available moment. At one point towards the end I worried that things were going to be wrapped up a little too neatly, abandoning the wry realism of the rest of the book for the kind of fantasy fulfillment that rarely happens in the infertility world—but then the plot took a heartbreaking but totally believable twist, and the book ended on a hopeful-but-bittersweet note that encapsulated perfectly how it feels not just to be infertile, but to experience all the shades of the infertility community.
WISHING ON BABY DUST is exactly the kind of book I wish had been around when I was in my own period of waiting for Kate. A book like this would have made me feel a little more normal, a little less adrift, battling my mother-longing while surrounded by friends who seemed to get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Reading it brought back so vividly my own time in the infertility trenches, calling up a whole host of emotions that I haven't thought of since early in my pregnancy. Honestly? I can't recommend this book highly enough—to women currently struggling with infertility, to those of us who have been there, and also to perfectly fertile women who are hoping to understand a little better what it's like. Although the book is LDS fiction and takes place in Utah, with several references to things of LDS culture (garments, priesthood blessings, church, prayers), it doesn't focus on those things and I think would be easily relatable to women of all different faiths. More than anything, this book is about what it's like to want a baby more than anything and be denied that desire over and over again.
I received a copy of WISHING ON BABY DUST for review. I also had the chance to do a wonderful interview with Lydia Winters on my blog, in which she talks about her own infertility experiences and her inspiration to write this book! You can find that here: http://musings.beingcindy.com/2015/01...
It's not really a surprise, then, that I was immediately drawn to the title of Lydia Winters' first book—WISHING ON BABY DUST. (Lydia Winters is the pen name of Lindzee Armstrong, a fellow Utah writer with whom I connected a few months ago.) I knew immediately what the title meant; "baby dust" is the phrase used in the infertility world to label that magical and unpredictable ability to get pregnant that most women have and we infertiles lack. When you are infertile, baby dust might as well be fairy dust—they both seem equally impossible most of the time.
When I got my hands on a copy of WISHING ON BABY DUST last week, I wasn't sure what to expect. Could one little novel capture the complicated gamut of emotions I'd experienced in my own infertility journey? Infertility isn't a topic that's usually given much space in fiction, and when it is it's usually a passing reference or a subplot. Would a novel all about infertility really work?
My friends, the answer is—at least for me—yes. From the first chapter, when six-years-infertile Megan is packing up her house to move and going over all the ways that those rooms have encapsulated her frustrated desire for motherhood, I was hooked. I blew through the book in about two days, reading in every available moment. At one point towards the end I worried that things were going to be wrapped up a little too neatly, abandoning the wry realism of the rest of the book for the kind of fantasy fulfillment that rarely happens in the infertility world—but then the plot took a heartbreaking but totally believable twist, and the book ended on a hopeful-but-bittersweet note that encapsulated perfectly how it feels not just to be infertile, but to experience all the shades of the infertility community.
WISHING ON BABY DUST is exactly the kind of book I wish had been around when I was in my own period of waiting for Kate. A book like this would have made me feel a little more normal, a little less adrift, battling my mother-longing while surrounded by friends who seemed to get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Reading it brought back so vividly my own time in the infertility trenches, calling up a whole host of emotions that I haven't thought of since early in my pregnancy. Honestly? I can't recommend this book highly enough—to women currently struggling with infertility, to those of us who have been there, and also to perfectly fertile women who are hoping to understand a little better what it's like. Although the book is LDS fiction and takes place in Utah, with several references to things of LDS culture (garments, priesthood blessings, church, prayers), it doesn't focus on those things and I think would be easily relatable to women of all different faiths. More than anything, this book is about what it's like to want a baby more than anything and be denied that desire over and over again.
I received a copy of WISHING ON BABY DUST for review. I also had the chance to do a wonderful interview with Lydia Winters on my blog, in which she talks about her own infertility experiences and her inspiration to write this book! You can find that here: http://musings.beingcindy.com/2015/01...
January 5, 2015
WHAT IT'S ABOUT
Infertility stinks. No one knows that better than Megan. After six years of insanity-inducing hormone drugs and desperate prayers, all she has to show for her efforts are enough negative pregnancy tests to fill a bassinet. All around her women are accidentally getting pregnant—like her star piano student—while Megan remains hopelessly barren.
Megan’s never felt so alone. But she’s not the only one struggling.
Christina has just entered the world of infertility, made worse by the fact her husband isn’t ready to be a father. Their marriage, already hanging in the balance, is being torn apart.
Then there’s Kyra, the mother of a precocious three-year-old. She’s shocked to be struggling with secondary infertility. A baby is priceless, but sometimes Kyra feels like she’s being forced to choose which commandment to keep: stay out of debt, or multiply and replenish the earth.
When Megan and Christina are assigned as Kyra’s visiting teachers, they all realize that what you see isn’t necessarily what’s beneath the surface. Some secrets aren’t worth the cost of keeping them.
MY TAKE
This book is so well written and deals with a tough topic. I've known a a lot of couples over the years who have struggled with infertility, and it can be heartbreaking. Winters handles the three different yet similar situations deftly and manages to educate about the problems couples must handle without becoming overly scientific.
All I could think, especially relating to the mechanics of trying to become pregnant when your body's not cooperating, was, "Who knew?" My heart went out to all three women especially as the inability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term took its toll on their marriages.
While set in the LDS culture, the topic is universal. A must read, whether you've dealt with infertility yourself or not--because you know people who have. This book puts you right in their shoes. At the very least, it should make you more understanding.
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Infertility stinks. No one knows that better than Megan. After six years of insanity-inducing hormone drugs and desperate prayers, all she has to show for her efforts are enough negative pregnancy tests to fill a bassinet. All around her women are accidentally getting pregnant—like her star piano student—while Megan remains hopelessly barren.
Megan’s never felt so alone. But she’s not the only one struggling.
Christina has just entered the world of infertility, made worse by the fact her husband isn’t ready to be a father. Their marriage, already hanging in the balance, is being torn apart.
Then there’s Kyra, the mother of a precocious three-year-old. She’s shocked to be struggling with secondary infertility. A baby is priceless, but sometimes Kyra feels like she’s being forced to choose which commandment to keep: stay out of debt, or multiply and replenish the earth.
When Megan and Christina are assigned as Kyra’s visiting teachers, they all realize that what you see isn’t necessarily what’s beneath the surface. Some secrets aren’t worth the cost of keeping them.
MY TAKE
This book is so well written and deals with a tough topic. I've known a a lot of couples over the years who have struggled with infertility, and it can be heartbreaking. Winters handles the three different yet similar situations deftly and manages to educate about the problems couples must handle without becoming overly scientific.
All I could think, especially relating to the mechanics of trying to become pregnant when your body's not cooperating, was, "Who knew?" My heart went out to all three women especially as the inability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term took its toll on their marriages.
While set in the LDS culture, the topic is universal. A must read, whether you've dealt with infertility yourself or not--because you know people who have. This book puts you right in their shoes. At the very least, it should make you more understanding.
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
February 8, 2015
Three LDS women suffering infertility find strength in each other and their faith.
Wow. Since I suffer from infertility, I don't like to read a lot of novels about the subject. I find them difficult to stomach for a variety of reasons. (It hits too close to home, the author obviously never suffered through infertility, they got facts wrong, etc.) This one, however, was beautiful and honest and painfully real. I feel like I'm Megan, Kyra and Christina all rolled into one. I can relate to every single thing they went through. I won't go into detail due to spoilers, but it's uncanny.
I appreciated how the women all suffered from infertility, but it was so different for all of them. Their situations, how they responded, how they responded to others. It was a very real look at the world of infertility.
There was a lot of medical jargon and talking shop. It is obvious the author knows her stuff. At times it may have been a little too much for someone who's never experienced infertility or who has never had to Google search "HSG." :)
I would definitely recommend this book to a Sister in the Land of Infertility (as the author puts it). Or anyone who knows anyone who suffers from it. It's a great look at the trials and heartache, and yet a reminder we can find peace and happiness no matter our circumstances.
I appreciate the free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Wow. Since I suffer from infertility, I don't like to read a lot of novels about the subject. I find them difficult to stomach for a variety of reasons. (It hits too close to home, the author obviously never suffered through infertility, they got facts wrong, etc.) This one, however, was beautiful and honest and painfully real. I feel like I'm Megan, Kyra and Christina all rolled into one. I can relate to every single thing they went through. I won't go into detail due to spoilers, but it's uncanny.
I appreciated how the women all suffered from infertility, but it was so different for all of them. Their situations, how they responded, how they responded to others. It was a very real look at the world of infertility.
There was a lot of medical jargon and talking shop. It is obvious the author knows her stuff. At times it may have been a little too much for someone who's never experienced infertility or who has never had to Google search "HSG." :)
I would definitely recommend this book to a Sister in the Land of Infertility (as the author puts it). Or anyone who knows anyone who suffers from it. It's a great look at the trials and heartache, and yet a reminder we can find peace and happiness no matter our circumstances.
I appreciate the free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
March 31, 2015
Megan, Christina and Kyra are three women dealing with infertility. Their stories and situations are different yet they have something in common. They meet each other and become a good support system for each other, once each of them is willing to admit what's happening. Their stories are heartbreaking and hopeful and their struggles are real. We also got to see how their husbands reacted and how it affected their relationships.
I like that the ending was realistic yet hopeful. It seemed like it was going a certain direction and then it went somewhere different. Many years ago, I had my own infertility issues (although not to the extent that the women in this book have) so I cried a lot as I relived those feelings and memories.
There's quite of bit of explanation about medical procedures which I was interested in learning about. There are also some LDS references but this is a book that anyone can enjoy. This book will appeal to a wide variety of people. If you've gone through infertility, you will realize that you're not alone. If you haven't, it will give you a deeper understanding of how women who deal with this feel. This book is emotional so be sure to have tissues handy while you read it!
I received a copy of this book to review. My opinion is 100% my own.
Mel's Shelves
I like that the ending was realistic yet hopeful. It seemed like it was going a certain direction and then it went somewhere different. Many years ago, I had my own infertility issues (although not to the extent that the women in this book have) so I cried a lot as I relived those feelings and memories.
There's quite of bit of explanation about medical procedures which I was interested in learning about. There are also some LDS references but this is a book that anyone can enjoy. This book will appeal to a wide variety of people. If you've gone through infertility, you will realize that you're not alone. If you haven't, it will give you a deeper understanding of how women who deal with this feel. This book is emotional so be sure to have tissues handy while you read it!
I received a copy of this book to review. My opinion is 100% my own.
Mel's Shelves
February 18, 2015
This book really touched me. I had no idea the amount of work that some of these mothers have to go through to get their sweet little babies into the world. I really loved each of the three characters. Megan is so open about the challenges that she's had to go through and can't really imagine anyone else not wanting to be that way. Christina is trying to be brave by saying she's been focusing on her career as a teacher, but she knows deep down that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. Kyra has just had a miscarriage after scraping up the money for an infertility treatment and is concerned that she'll never have a sibling for her sweet daughter Sophie. Megan and Christina have just been made Kyra's visiting teachers, and the three women form a friendship before they really realize that all three of them have had infertility problems. When they finally realize this detail, it makes their friendship even sweeter. This book is a story about infertility, yes, but it's also about the way that we all need to be there as much as we can for those around us. We may never know just how much we have helped someone we know by simply being caring. I didn't want to put this book down until I had finished every last word.
March 31, 2015
Three separate women struggling to deal with the reality of infertility.
This book struck a chord with me and brought back many emotions that I haven't thought about in a while. I only lived through 1 1/2 years of infertility. It was one of the hardest trials I have faced.
This book takes a look at three separate women who each have a different physical problem that makes them infertile. Each of the women face the issue differently. The experience is no less painful for their individual circumstance.
I loved that this book brought three women/couples together. When they all realized that they were facing the same trial, they were able to comfort and help each other through the heartache. The book looks at the issues/social stigma/physical pain/emotional pain, etc realistically.
There are many great moments in the book. I laughed and I cried. My heart broke and I was uplifted. If you are dealing with the issue yourself, or if you have a friend or loved one living with infertility, this is a wonderful book. In fact, if you want to learn about what many women go through this is a book that will make you think.
This book has religious references. The three women belong to the LDS Faith, but the overall message applies to women everywhere.
This book struck a chord with me and brought back many emotions that I haven't thought about in a while. I only lived through 1 1/2 years of infertility. It was one of the hardest trials I have faced.
This book takes a look at three separate women who each have a different physical problem that makes them infertile. Each of the women face the issue differently. The experience is no less painful for their individual circumstance.
I loved that this book brought three women/couples together. When they all realized that they were facing the same trial, they were able to comfort and help each other through the heartache. The book looks at the issues/social stigma/physical pain/emotional pain, etc realistically.
There are many great moments in the book. I laughed and I cried. My heart broke and I was uplifted. If you are dealing with the issue yourself, or if you have a friend or loved one living with infertility, this is a wonderful book. In fact, if you want to learn about what many women go through this is a book that will make you think.
This book has religious references. The three women belong to the LDS Faith, but the overall message applies to women everywhere.
July 20, 2015
Wishing on Baby Dust is an LDS (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) infertility story. If you have ever had problems with infertility or known someone who has, take the time for Baby Dust. If you are not a member of the LDS faith, this book might still be for you. Infertility is a hard road to travel, and if you could use some different perspectives on that journey, this is a good resource. The story might be fictional, but it is all too real.
One warning is that Wishing on Baby Dust brings on the tears. Infertility is an emotional roller-coaster, so naturally this book is as well. You might want to reserve reading this book for moments when you don't mind having red, puffy eyes.
Another recommendation for this book: memorize the names of the main characters right off the bat. This book switches points of view between three women, and if you don't usually remember names well, you might want to make a special effort to memorize names.
The audio version of this book is also available. At first you might not be enchanted with the reader's voice, but stick with it. You will find that she carries bitterness/sadness/other emotions well in her voice, and she was picked well for the part.
http://www.compassbookratings.com/rev...
One warning is that Wishing on Baby Dust brings on the tears. Infertility is an emotional roller-coaster, so naturally this book is as well. You might want to reserve reading this book for moments when you don't mind having red, puffy eyes.
Another recommendation for this book: memorize the names of the main characters right off the bat. This book switches points of view between three women, and if you don't usually remember names well, you might want to make a special effort to memorize names.
The audio version of this book is also available. At first you might not be enchanted with the reader's voice, but stick with it. You will find that she carries bitterness/sadness/other emotions well in her voice, and she was picked well for the part.
http://www.compassbookratings.com/rev...
October 11, 2016
I have to give some warnings about this book before I review.
1. This book is about three religious couples whose faith is an important part of the book. I'm Catholic, so I found it reassuring in their faith to trust in God. Thankfully whatever their religion fertility treatments were not against their beliefs.
2. You will need tissues, lots of tissues. Not everyone will have a happy ending. It's shocking and unexpected. That's real life though.
3. The narrator was difficult to follow. Felt as if I was being read to rather than being pulled into the book. Too worried on pauses and sounding out each word, rather than just letting it flow like other narrators. I did nor let that influence my star rating, but almost returned it because it was annoying.
The overall summary truly captured the reality of what it feels like to live with infertility: the emptiness, emotions, pain, treatments, disappointments, and fights. The author didn't wrap everything up in a neat little bow, which is reality. BUT, if you are going to go into detail for every little argument, discussion, and plan for the the couples, then you need to give closure to the readers. You can't just stop the book. It's almost as if she ran out of time or couldn't think of what to write next.
1. This book is about three religious couples whose faith is an important part of the book. I'm Catholic, so I found it reassuring in their faith to trust in God. Thankfully whatever their religion fertility treatments were not against their beliefs.
2. You will need tissues, lots of tissues. Not everyone will have a happy ending. It's shocking and unexpected. That's real life though.
3. The narrator was difficult to follow. Felt as if I was being read to rather than being pulled into the book. Too worried on pauses and sounding out each word, rather than just letting it flow like other narrators. I did nor let that influence my star rating, but almost returned it because it was annoying.
The overall summary truly captured the reality of what it feels like to live with infertility: the emptiness, emotions, pain, treatments, disappointments, and fights. The author didn't wrap everything up in a neat little bow, which is reality. BUT, if you are going to go into detail for every little argument, discussion, and plan for the the couples, then you need to give closure to the readers. You can't just stop the book. It's almost as if she ran out of time or couldn't think of what to write next.
January 12, 2015
Seemingly being a taboo subject, Winters has expertly addressed infertility on several levels and in multiple situations. Those who are actually touched by experiencing infertility and those who know someone who has been, will have a much better understanding when done taking this journey with Megan, Christina and Kyra. This is a heart-warming and telling story of loyalty, friendship, personal struggle and overcoming it. I quickly became engaged in this page turner while appreciating the confirming fact that we need to look deeper especially where relationships are concerned.
Winters has done well at educating readers about the ins and outs of a topic that not everyone fully understands and has interwoven it into a wonderful story that will change the way you view infertility and struggles in general. I excitedly found myself being able to relate to at least one of these characters however found common threads in them all, which made for a character driven plot that was a pure joy to read. As her debut novel I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a satisfyingly perfect read filled with faith while providing hope to so many.
~The Book Stalker Reviewed
Winters has done well at educating readers about the ins and outs of a topic that not everyone fully understands and has interwoven it into a wonderful story that will change the way you view infertility and struggles in general. I excitedly found myself being able to relate to at least one of these characters however found common threads in them all, which made for a character driven plot that was a pure joy to read. As her debut novel I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a satisfyingly perfect read filled with faith while providing hope to so many.
~The Book Stalker Reviewed
January 23, 2015
After struggling with infertility for many years, I felt an immediate connection to each of these women and their stories. It was an emotional read, from start to finish. Anyone who is struggling with infertility can benefit and gain hope through the strength and daily trials that these three women endure. I also highly recommend this book to anyone who has a friend or family member struggling with infertility. Women who have not experienced the pain of having a body that doesn't work properly, oftentimes don't understand what their friends need or want. Seeing these trials through three different pairs of eyes really sheds light on this huge problem in our society. Anyone with a uterus and a heart will gain something from these beautiful women! I have to admit, I was unhappy when the book ended. But to me, that's the sign of a great writer and memorable characters. I didn't want their stories to end! I was left wanting more. If you're looking for a light, fluffy, "happily ever after" book, this is not it. This story is very raw and very real. If you're looking for a book that will touch your very heart and soul and linger with you forever afterwards, then pick this book up now.
January 20, 2015
First I just want to thank the author for writing this book. What a hard topic and needed topic. I have lots of friends who have had fertility issues and this deals with their feelings in a very real and raw way. I also liked that we heard from the fathers in the situation as well. Nice to hear both sides.
The writing is excellent. Winters really helped me to understand the emotional pain of wanting to have children and not being able to conceive. I really felt for Kyra, Megan, and Christina. All three were having their own issues and suddenly found themselves together in a way that could provide strength. They had someone to talk to. Their stories have stuck with me and I cannot get them out of my head. Most women have had some thought to wanting to be a parent in their lifetime. It hits home with a lot of us.
This is a topic that is universal and I hope it sheds light on the subject. I had no idea how involved fertility options were. I knew the cost was high but so many little details.
The writing is excellent. Winters really helped me to understand the emotional pain of wanting to have children and not being able to conceive. I really felt for Kyra, Megan, and Christina. All three were having their own issues and suddenly found themselves together in a way that could provide strength. They had someone to talk to. Their stories have stuck with me and I cannot get them out of my head. Most women have had some thought to wanting to be a parent in their lifetime. It hits home with a lot of us.
This is a topic that is universal and I hope it sheds light on the subject. I had no idea how involved fertility options were. I knew the cost was high but so many little details.
January 23, 2015
Through three characters with three individual and varying circumstances, the reader can feel the gamut of the emotions, challenges, and procedures many infertile couples put themselves through to have what they want most in the world. Lydia Winters does an amazing job of taking something medical and technical and weaving it effortlessly into a spellbinding story. It's a perfect balance between explaining to where a reader without prior knowledge can understand and also making it so those who have gone the medical procedures remember and completely relate. In short, Wishing on Baby Dust does just what good fiction should do--it allows the reader to fully experience and understand a situation they may never find themselves in. The characters are believable, the story captivating, and in the end, I felt uplifted and hopeful. I loved reading this book and I think it would elicit some interesting book club discussions. And doesn't it have the most adorable cover?
March 4, 2015
I absolutely loved this book. Although I never struggled with infertility, my heart broke for these women and what they endured. Having pregnancies of my own, I related to their feelings of wanting a baby. The author did a fantastic job of capturing each woman's individual character, personality, and unique situation. I cheered for them, laughed with them, and cried with them. This book reads really fast, and I instantly was taken into the story. I could tell the author did her homework when it came to the knowledge of procedures of infertility, having gone through it herself. This book is perfect reminder for us all to kind and loving to each other, not truly knowing what the other may be going through.
5 out of 5 stars. This is Lydia's debut novel. I can't wait to read more from her.
I received an ebook copy in exchange for an honest review.
5 out of 5 stars. This is Lydia's debut novel. I can't wait to read more from her.
I received an ebook copy in exchange for an honest review.
January 28, 2015
I was very touched by this story. The author clearly understands the struggle of women with infertility. As someone who has gone through that trial myself, I related deeply to the feelings and perspectives of the three women and felt the author portrayed their emotions authentically and respectfully. Her writing craft was excellent and she had me crying and rejoicing right along with the characters. This is a book that women in the Land of IF can draw empathy and hope from, and give those who don't understand that challenge insight into how women with infertility may feel. I really enjoyed the book and would definitely recommend it and read more from this author in the future. I was given a copy of this e-book in exchange for an honest review.
March 7, 2015
I really enjoyed this book for many reasons. Firstly it gripped me early on, I wanted to find out how the characters and their stories evolved so it made me want to keep reading. Secondly, the storyline, the topic of infertility is not used lightly, neither is it shied away from, it is done from the perspective of someone who has had the doctors appointments, given themselves the injections and suffered the harrowing loss of miscarriage. Thirdly it involves another, usually shied away from, element, religion. The three main characters are all believers who have strong faith despite their problems and setbacks in life. All of these elements made for a wonderfully written story which had me feeling for the women and crying with their pains. Great book.
August 27, 2015
I haven't ever read a fictional book that covers the topic of infertility so well. There is some sexual content, but only in a scientific context (referring to male and female reproduction). I didn't find anything offensive, and I think it would be an excellent book for anyone starting along the road to infertility treatments and for those (like me) who have been down that long, hard road. Lydia covered everything, from the agonies of first discovering infertility to the invasive procedures and expensive treatments. She also touched on adoption, sharing both sides of the issue. This is a well-written book. Highly recommended.
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October 17, 2022It’s not often that I read a book and think “yep, that was my life for a few years.” The author did a good job capturing the sorrows, frustrations, financial worries, and dozens of other emotions that come with infertility. And she captured how heaven-sent a friend going through the same thing can be. Best read with a box of tissues nearby, but it’s not a depressing book. It’s a book about hope even when life is just plain hard.
January 29, 2020
A powerfully authentic and heart-felt novel about the lows and highs of infertility and parenthood along with the blessings of family and friendship. This novel also has characters that are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints(the same faith as me). I love the simple but sweet cover too. Mixed with medical truths and very real religious faith...this novel touches my soul.💖
July 12, 2015
It was totally masochistic of me to accept this book for review. As a mental health professional/social worker that has had clients with biopsychosocials that would turn weaker people’s hair prematurely white and don’t mind fiction that is sad, raw, or real life I thought I could handle this one. I ended up having counter transference issues with this and was too close to the subject as a sister of infertility land. This was a 2 tissue box tearjerker for me.
This women’s fiction was about three married couples experiencing the trials of infertility with emphasis on the wives who meet each other and form a friendship and support group for each other through their trials of infertility once they all admit it to each other.
Megan has PCOS. Christina has severe endometriosis. Kyra is experiencing secondary infertility after having one child. Kyra's husband has a low spermatozoa count. I like that this one included the thoughts and feelings that the husbands were experiencing and not just the wives.
This novel was completely raw no holds bar honest and realistic about the experience of the challenges of infertility. I recognized so many of the things that happened in the novel. The people with foot in their mouth disease who judge you to your face and behind your back when they count the amount of years you have been married with no child or have only an only child that is beyond a toddler in age whom don’t know it isn’t by choice. Yes what I call “The Speech”. The painful feeling of envy and coveting you do when around pregnant family, friends, and strangers. The fact you can spend 10 of thousands plus in both actual money and painful psychological emotional currency towards your goal of having a child for YEARS through infertility treatments or adoption and still have NO child. When and if you do receive that gift from Heavenly Father you appreciate and do not take that gift for granted because of the kingdom of outer darkness H-E-double hockey sticks you went through to get that gift. The ending was realistic, bittersweet, hopeful, and with some joy. It was the only ending that could be respectful and real to the subject.
The only writing criticism I would give this work is that all three women used the exact same infertility treatments in their struggle with infertility so they all blended together in that aspect. Though adoption is given mention, it is only 1 % of only one of the women’s stories and thrown in the very, very, end. From a writing aspect it would have been better reading if one of the women’s stories from the beginning had been to grow their family through adoption so there would have been more differentiation and representation in the middle between the three women’s journey to motherhood
Recommended for friends and family of those struggling with infertility that want to understand more.
Source: Review copy in exchange for my 100% honest opinion.
This women’s fiction was about three married couples experiencing the trials of infertility with emphasis on the wives who meet each other and form a friendship and support group for each other through their trials of infertility once they all admit it to each other.
Megan has PCOS. Christina has severe endometriosis. Kyra is experiencing secondary infertility after having one child. Kyra's husband has a low spermatozoa count. I like that this one included the thoughts and feelings that the husbands were experiencing and not just the wives.
This novel was completely raw no holds bar honest and realistic about the experience of the challenges of infertility. I recognized so many of the things that happened in the novel. The people with foot in their mouth disease who judge you to your face and behind your back when they count the amount of years you have been married with no child or have only an only child that is beyond a toddler in age whom don’t know it isn’t by choice. Yes what I call “The Speech”. The painful feeling of envy and coveting you do when around pregnant family, friends, and strangers. The fact you can spend 10 of thousands plus in both actual money and painful psychological emotional currency towards your goal of having a child for YEARS through infertility treatments or adoption and still have NO child. When and if you do receive that gift from Heavenly Father you appreciate and do not take that gift for granted because of the kingdom of outer darkness H-E-double hockey sticks you went through to get that gift. The ending was realistic, bittersweet, hopeful, and with some joy. It was the only ending that could be respectful and real to the subject.
The only writing criticism I would give this work is that all three women used the exact same infertility treatments in their struggle with infertility so they all blended together in that aspect. Though adoption is given mention, it is only 1 % of only one of the women’s stories and thrown in the very, very, end. From a writing aspect it would have been better reading if one of the women’s stories from the beginning had been to grow their family through adoption so there would have been more differentiation and representation in the middle between the three women’s journey to motherhood
Recommended for friends and family of those struggling with infertility that want to understand more.
Source: Review copy in exchange for my 100% honest opinion.
March 6, 2015
Infertility is a struggle for many women, and this book tells the story of three of them. Megan desperately wants a child, but she is dealing with the effects of PCOS. Christina put off having a child to get her life just perfect. Now it is, but she can't seem to get the one this she wants. Is this her fault for putting it off? Kyra has one child, but she hasn't been able to have another. When Megan, Christine, and Kyra's worlds collide, they soon find that they are not alone. Sometimes having someone who truly understands you makes all the difference in the world.
I was very interested in this book because it's a very difficult subject for many women. I was so pleased with how everything was handled. This book was able to be sensitive to the subject and women involved without every being patronizing or treating them with kid gloves. There was a lot of hurt for these women and with good reason. Each of them really learned to lean on the others to help them through all their trials. Just the mere fact that they are not alone in their struggles seems to relieve a huge part of the burden. I also liked that this book was able to show the different effects infertility could have on the marriages of these women. They all had to work through different things to make their lives better and be prepared for whatever the future holds.
This book also make me really reflect on how we treat other women. The scene where two of them are in Relief Society feeling the pain of feeling like they didn't fit in with a church that stresses family so much was very real to me. While I have never dealt with infertility, I was single for much longer than most LDS women. There were Sundays when I questioned why I even bothered going because I had nothing in common with any of these women. Now, clearly that wasn't true, but I think we all struggle with things at different times. We need to work to be so understand and supportive to our fellow women. How much better would it have been for these characters to have more people to be able to lean on in good times and bad? This book provides a very realistic view of things as well. There are good things that happen as well as bad. Not everyone gets that fairy tale ending. However, every is much better off in the end then they were at the beginning. This was a lovely tale that warmed my heart while managing to break it at some points. It is very moving, and I encourage everyone to take a chance to read it.
Book provided for review.
I was very interested in this book because it's a very difficult subject for many women. I was so pleased with how everything was handled. This book was able to be sensitive to the subject and women involved without every being patronizing or treating them with kid gloves. There was a lot of hurt for these women and with good reason. Each of them really learned to lean on the others to help them through all their trials. Just the mere fact that they are not alone in their struggles seems to relieve a huge part of the burden. I also liked that this book was able to show the different effects infertility could have on the marriages of these women. They all had to work through different things to make their lives better and be prepared for whatever the future holds.
This book also make me really reflect on how we treat other women. The scene where two of them are in Relief Society feeling the pain of feeling like they didn't fit in with a church that stresses family so much was very real to me. While I have never dealt with infertility, I was single for much longer than most LDS women. There were Sundays when I questioned why I even bothered going because I had nothing in common with any of these women. Now, clearly that wasn't true, but I think we all struggle with things at different times. We need to work to be so understand and supportive to our fellow women. How much better would it have been for these characters to have more people to be able to lean on in good times and bad? This book provides a very realistic view of things as well. There are good things that happen as well as bad. Not everyone gets that fairy tale ending. However, every is much better off in the end then they were at the beginning. This was a lovely tale that warmed my heart while managing to break it at some points. It is very moving, and I encourage everyone to take a chance to read it.
Book provided for review.
March 27, 2015
Megan, Christina, and Kyra are three unique women who all have something in common, infertility. Wishing on Baby Dust chronicles their emotional journeys as they strive to have children of their own. All three women belong to a faith where family is central to their beliefs, so the devastation of infertility douses them in hard reality. Lydia Winter's book doesn't sugarcoat the many obstacles many women face in order to bring home a healthy baby. It deals with some very hard emotional issues, but is also full of hope and faith that things will work out.
I loved how each woman's circumstances were very different, but they could still come together and help each other through this heartache. Megan has fought infertility for years, and hopes a new home will give her a fresh start and finally bring the longed for blessing of a baby. Christina is happy in her career as a teacher, but longs for something more in her personal life. Kyra shouldn't have had problems. Her first child was no problem, so she struggles with the lack of understanding and financial strain trying to bring another child into her family presents. There is also the concept of teenage pregnancy and adoption brought in.
The issues were all dealt with in a very positive, yet realistic manner. I cried a few times through each characters challenges. I also loved how the ending was not an unrealistic happily-ever-after. It definitely showed success, but also that now everything works out the way we always planned. Well worth a read! If you, or a loved one, has ever faced the pain and uncertainty of IF, this book provides great insight into many of the physical, as well as emotional, issues that can come up.
Enjoy!
I loved how each woman's circumstances were very different, but they could still come together and help each other through this heartache. Megan has fought infertility for years, and hopes a new home will give her a fresh start and finally bring the longed for blessing of a baby. Christina is happy in her career as a teacher, but longs for something more in her personal life. Kyra shouldn't have had problems. Her first child was no problem, so she struggles with the lack of understanding and financial strain trying to bring another child into her family presents. There is also the concept of teenage pregnancy and adoption brought in.
The issues were all dealt with in a very positive, yet realistic manner. I cried a few times through each characters challenges. I also loved how the ending was not an unrealistic happily-ever-after. It definitely showed success, but also that now everything works out the way we always planned. Well worth a read! If you, or a loved one, has ever faced the pain and uncertainty of IF, this book provides great insight into many of the physical, as well as emotional, issues that can come up.
Enjoy!
February 26, 2015
I haven't picked up any book that has anything to do with infertility in years. Because I have infertility myself, I know the hard emotions will surface. The feelings came up, memories became clear, and even a few personal questions were raised, but I felt like this book was a safe place to re-visit the feelings.
What I liked about the book was that it was written with several different infertility stories. The reader learns about many aspects of infertility because of this. Also, it is refreshing to read something about medical technologies assisting in infertility treatments. We need more fiction and non-fiction books that will approach this. I found many resources when we were going through our adoption experience, but very few books and resources when my husband and I were experiencing IVF and our Frozen Embryo Transfers. I loved the adoption story in this book as well.
My perspective is that there were some slightly exaggerated stereotypes in the book. Perhaps this is how I feel because I feel like I can never truly identify with a fictional character in a story of infertility. But I appreciate how the author carefully addresses this tough subject. I enjoyed the humor, character, and insight that the author created. I also came away feeling so grateful for my soul sisters that experienced their own infertility heartache, and my caring husband who has matching battle scars with me.
What I liked about the book was that it was written with several different infertility stories. The reader learns about many aspects of infertility because of this. Also, it is refreshing to read something about medical technologies assisting in infertility treatments. We need more fiction and non-fiction books that will approach this. I found many resources when we were going through our adoption experience, but very few books and resources when my husband and I were experiencing IVF and our Frozen Embryo Transfers. I loved the adoption story in this book as well.
My perspective is that there were some slightly exaggerated stereotypes in the book. Perhaps this is how I feel because I feel like I can never truly identify with a fictional character in a story of infertility. But I appreciate how the author carefully addresses this tough subject. I enjoyed the humor, character, and insight that the author created. I also came away feeling so grateful for my soul sisters that experienced their own infertility heartache, and my caring husband who has matching battle scars with me.
February 18, 2015
I have not had to deal with infertility issues, but I have many close friends and family members that have. I read this book hoping to get a better perspective of what women have to go through. The author did not disappoint. Through the stories of three women, I learned the struggles, devastation, and heartaches of different infertility issues. The bond that these three women form is extraordinary. I love the fact that the author pointed out that infertility is a part of who they are but does not have to consume them and become their life. They have to accept what is, that God has a plan, and let the rest go.
The only issue I had is the author uses several infertility acronyms. They are explained in the book, but some aren’t explained until a couple of chapters after they are mentioned. I felt lost at times because I had no idea what the issue was. If the acronyms were explained at the beginning of the book or the first time they were used, that would be helpful.
Although this book deals with infertility, I think it really relates to many different trials that people struggle through in life. Whether you are battling infertility, addictions, marital or financial problems, you can use the same theories to get through them. I would definitely recommend this book.
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
The only issue I had is the author uses several infertility acronyms. They are explained in the book, but some aren’t explained until a couple of chapters after they are mentioned. I felt lost at times because I had no idea what the issue was. If the acronyms were explained at the beginning of the book or the first time they were used, that would be helpful.
Although this book deals with infertility, I think it really relates to many different trials that people struggle through in life. Whether you are battling infertility, addictions, marital or financial problems, you can use the same theories to get through them. I would definitely recommend this book.
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
April 8, 2015
Wishing on baby dust by Lydia Winters was such a beautiful story. I just had to keep on reading to find out what was going to happen. Throughout the day my husband would come into the room and look at me and say, “what’s wrong?” and I would just hold up my kindle with tears streaming down my face, by the end of the day he didn’t even bother to ask, he knew it was because of the book. It brought me into the world of infertility with no candy coating and I loved that. I know several people who live in the land of infertility and I know that it is a struggle. I thought that the book was very well written and brought the reader on a journey. You rejoiced with the characters and you hurt with the characters. This book is written with several LDS terms and has a little bit of a spiritual side to it, but I feel that anyone who wants to understand the world of infertility would greatly enjoy this book. This book had me thinking about it several days after reading it. I would definitely read more from this author again.
I loved this book, and I loved that it addressed an issue that is quite common with people today (it makes me want to write a real no candy coating book on my struggle as a mother with children with disabilities).
I give it 5 out of 5 stars.
I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I loved this book, and I loved that it addressed an issue that is quite common with people today (it makes me want to write a real no candy coating book on my struggle as a mother with children with disabilities).
I give it 5 out of 5 stars.
I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
March 25, 2015
Infertility can be a heart-wrenchingly unspeakable subject. Especially in a church where family is such a large focus. Even though my own struggles were not as severe as the characters in the book I still identified with their plight. Like Christina, I told many the reason we were childless was due to us focusing on our careers.
Even if you have never struggled with infertility, this book draws you in with the relationships. Not just between the three main characters and each other, but their relationships with their husbands as well. From the first chapter I was drawn to the humanity of each of the characters and the words pulled me further into their stories. By the end I was laughing and crying right along with them. In my opinion the very best stories make you feel.
I finished the last few chapters as I read late into the night, trying to not wake my sleeping husband with my sobs. At the same time happy and sad, my heart was full to brimming with the emotion of Megan, Christina, and Kyra's stories. I haven't read anything that powerful in years and commend the author for her delicate but honest handling of a difficult subject.
Even if you have never struggled with infertility, this book draws you in with the relationships. Not just between the three main characters and each other, but their relationships with their husbands as well. From the first chapter I was drawn to the humanity of each of the characters and the words pulled me further into their stories. By the end I was laughing and crying right along with them. In my opinion the very best stories make you feel.
I finished the last few chapters as I read late into the night, trying to not wake my sleeping husband with my sobs. At the same time happy and sad, my heart was full to brimming with the emotion of Megan, Christina, and Kyra's stories. I haven't read anything that powerful in years and commend the author for her delicate but honest handling of a difficult subject.
April 1, 2015
I received this ebook through ebooksforreview in exchange for an honest review.
First of all, I really liked this book. It’s the first published book by Lydia Winters and she did do a good job writing it.
I know this book was very close to the author’s heart as she herself struggled with infertility. She even dedicated the book to her twin sons.
The story was very touching. Of course, infertility is not an easy subject to tackles, but I think the author was able to do it in a realistic way. I have to warn anyone who is about to read the book that it isn’t an easy read. There are some funny parts, but there are also some heart wrenching parts, that most likely will bring tears to your eyes.
At first, I didn’t like the fact that it was three separate stories. I knew that at some point Megan, Christina and Kyra would meet and their stories would relate, but it happened a little late in the book for my tastes. Also, throughout the book I sometimes got lost by the fact that we continually changed characters with each chapter.
But in the end, I thought it was well written and I believe this is an author that has a lot to offer in her next books!
First of all, I really liked this book. It’s the first published book by Lydia Winters and she did do a good job writing it.
I know this book was very close to the author’s heart as she herself struggled with infertility. She even dedicated the book to her twin sons.
The story was very touching. Of course, infertility is not an easy subject to tackles, but I think the author was able to do it in a realistic way. I have to warn anyone who is about to read the book that it isn’t an easy read. There are some funny parts, but there are also some heart wrenching parts, that most likely will bring tears to your eyes.
At first, I didn’t like the fact that it was three separate stories. I knew that at some point Megan, Christina and Kyra would meet and their stories would relate, but it happened a little late in the book for my tastes. Also, throughout the book I sometimes got lost by the fact that we continually changed characters with each chapter.
But in the end, I thought it was well written and I believe this is an author that has a lot to offer in her next books!
February 25, 2015
I thought I knew about infertility, but this book was really in depth with procedures used. I learned I didn't really know anything about it. I never had a problem getting pregnant. While I did have two miscarriages, I didn't struggle with infertility. This was very enlightening. It would be a difficult trial as a couple. It could either make or break a marriage. I can see why they had faith issues when religious beliefs encourage families. I especially liked Megan's character. I liked that she put her own sadness about infertility aside when she moved and reached out to others to comfort and lift. I liked Trevor's support and understanding for Megan. I was glad Gary finally manned up and stood up to his mother. It was way past time. The stuffed animal thing was a bit ridiculous. I liked that each chapter was about a different couple. With so many people in the book, that helped to keep all the characters straight a little better. It was somewhat confusing at times. I cried toward the end when they received their good news. It was a predictable ending, but I was hoping for the happy ending. I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
February 15, 2015
Wishing on baby dust addresses the sad issue of infertility. It tells the story of three different women, all suffering, but in some ways hiding their grief from others. As they interact and try to help one another cope, their stories intertwine as they become friends. The book starts in Logan Utah where I grew up so that made me smile as Megan and Trent moved from there to Riverton Utah. The book is aimed at the LDS market and is a Christian novel. As a mother of six children, this book affected me on many levels. One of the women suffers a miscarriage. I too suffered a miscarriage and I cried with Kyra. Although I never suffered from infertility, I was able to feel compassion for each of these women and their struggles. The book is very well written. The characters are likable. If you are a fan of Nicholas Sparks novels, this one should be right up your alley. Although I liked it, I will not reread it. I read to escape and although I felt deeply while reading this book, most of my emotions were sad. I cried a lot!
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