Scrambled Eggs

by Rob Nelson

Nobody gets more upset about a lack of eggs than I do...

8 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 8, 2025

Reviews

[brittany:) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have no words😱🫣🤮

[bookmarksandbarbells · Rating 5 out of 5]

This gave me a whole new level of the 'egg ick'.

[Emily | TheHauntedShelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rob, what the f*ck did I just read?!

[Trace · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this to traumatize yourself in 5 minutes or less.

[Irvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Want some breakfast? Make some scrambled eggs but just make sure you leave two eggs for him for the morning. What a short and disgustingly good story!

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jesus Christ.......Ewwwww!!

I think I will skip breakfast for a couple months. Thanks for that Rob.

Happy Reading and Splatter On.....

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is it weird if I want to eat scrambled eggs right now?

[Ian · Rating 3 out of 5]

'Pink Omelettes!!'

A little fun piece of full-on grossness- but maybe could have done with a bit more seasoning.

Reminded me of the old joke:

Q: How d'you like your eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilised.

Will be reading more from Rob - with a mind like that it would be just rude not to.

Rating: 3.5 bright, shining morning stars - rounded down due to length - would have loved to have been treated to more 'breakfast'.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short and brutal.

Honestly, it was my fault I opened a bag of chips and ate them while reading it. 🤮

[Shawna Browning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took me three tries to finish this nastiness. New ick unlocked.

[Danyel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was disgustingly eggtastic

[BexHorror · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rob really packs a punch with his words doesn't he? 😅 Anyway, a quick little read that left MY stomach feeling a little scrambled afterwards 🤢

[McKenzie McCollin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Picture this: it’s 1 a.m., my fiancé and I are burritoed in bed under separate blankets like emotionally distant raccoons. I, in my infinite chaos, decide this is the PERFECT time to read him a “short bedtime story.” Important context: this man does NOT read splatterpunk and he has a deep, spiritual hatred for eggs. All eggs. Sunny side. Scrambled. Satan’s oval food.
Enter this absolute menace of a novella. Eight. Pages. That’s it. Eight pages of pure uncut “what the fuck did I just read.” Sister comes to visit her brother. Brother is meal-prepping like a responsible adult. Sister, this absolute goblin of a human, eats his last two eggs. Or so she thinks. Those eggs? Yeah. They’re the last thing she’ll ever eat.
The escalation is unholy. Blink-and-you-miss-it pacing. Zero chill. Straight from “oops I ate your eggs” to “guess I’ll die.” And honestly? I respect it. If someone touched my last gluten-free items I, too, might see red and choose violence.
This book is feral. It’s stupid. It’s grotesque. It’s hilarious. It’s an unhinged little egg-fueled fever dream and I loved every cursed second of it.
Moral of the story: don’t eat other people’s food. Especially eggs.
You vile motherfucker. 🥚

[SeveredTherapy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow...

Seeing this was 8 pages, I tried to come in without expectations. That, by far, is the way to do it. What I read was not quite on my list of expectations.

It was actually a lot better than I expected and a fun little story before lunch. Thankfully, I'm not having eggs.

4.5 out of 5 severed thumbs-up.

[Dylan Alarie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was… only for the writing… I’ve never read something so disgusting in my entire life… and ugh I wanted to puke. Imagine if the book was an even bigger one… it was extremely fast paced… even too much. But I’m still happy to know that I have still triggers… which all this book (if you can even call it that) was…

[kait 🖤 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rob Nelson, I have a question. What. The. FUCK?????

I never thought I'd have to take a break from an 8-page novella. Do NOT read this while eating. And don't make the mistake I made and eat scrambled eggs before reading.

This novella is absolutely disgusting, revolting, horrific, god awful. All things it set out to be. Therefore, it gets 4 stars (There were some grammatical errors and I'm annoying, so I have to dock a star from the rating).

This is extreme horror/splatterpunk. Read at your own risk.

[MaryJaneSpirals · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow 😳😳😳😳, this was not what I was expecting...I knew it be something especially with the cover and hearing about some of the author's work. I already had an aversion for eggs... this just solidified it

[K D Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meal prep is the way to go. I mean prepping gives you so much more time to focus on other things.
Lesson of the day: always leave him two fucking eggs! 🍳
This was such a gross little read and I loved it!

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is only 8 pages and it's 8 pages of WTF. I don't know if I should be laughing or running for the hills but I would like to know what is going on in Rob Nelson's mind!!! 5 stars for this absolutely batshit crazy read.

[EERIE DARK READS · Rating 4 out of 5]

What. The. F*ck.

That is all.

[Annais Jupiter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not the crazy straw!

This is such a wild cautionary tale of what happens when you take people’s food. And that ending…I freaking loved it!

[Gabriell Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

what in the world

I can’t even begin to explain this. Disgusting. Vile. Funny. Rob Nelson does it again. Definitely isn’t what I expect. 🤣

[Jazzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wtf?! This short read was wild! I thoroughly enjoyed it. scrambled eggs and I’m not talking about chickens…. EGGS…

[Felisha Higgins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Idk if I'm just as sick in the head as this this Author but he keeps me entertained af lol

[Jessy Ally Poe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely gross and I enjoyed it.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gross 🤮 ❤️

[kellyjo walters · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do you like your eggs in the morning

I laughed the whole way through. I'll never eat scrambled eggs again sir!!! Funny to the point of gross x

[Cassidy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh- 💀

[em · Rating 3 out of 5]

oh...wow! honestly, this one wasn't too bad for me, but still pretty nasty and disturbing...

[Crista Sedlacek · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jesus christ 😂 I have no words. 3.5