Scrambled Eggs

by Rob Nelson

Nobody gets more upset about a lack of eggs than I do...

Genres: Splatterpunk

8 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 8, 2025

Reviews

[brittany:) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have no words😱🫣🤮

[Nicola (deathandthemacabre) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to hell for reading this.

[Emmy Carrasco · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5 ⭐️

my jaw actually dropped. I’ll be abstaining from eggs for a few days

[baraa]

it’s exactly what you think it is (yes I was procrastinating again)

[The_5ft_reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

ewwww gross little read 🤮😂

[Angie Addams · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was… okay for the seven pages that it lasted. Curiousity got the best of me for sure 😂

[bookmarksandbarbells · Rating 5 out of 5]

This gave me a whole new level of the 'egg ick'.

[Alexa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just read this on a whim, and I haven't read extreme horror in a long time.

Was it good? No, but this will benefit my reading goal for the year.

[Veronica ☠️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't mess with this guys breakfast!
All he asked of his sister was to leave him two eggs for his breakfast. That's it, that's all. When she failed to follow this one simple rule, he decided that breakfast was on his sister! This will be a finger licking good time!

In just 8 pages, this will make you gag. I love scrambled eggs. I'll eat them with gags for a bit after this. Excellent job for being truly disgusting with just 8 pages. This was fun!

[Emily | TheHauntedShelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rob, what the f*ck did I just read?!

[Chloe Hood · Rating 1 out of 5]

1⭐️ thoroughly surprised this has good reviews

[Cee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I want to give you a zero, but that is not possible so I give you a one.


Forever praising my uterus now, and staying away from men.

[Aiden Asport · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely disgusting. I wanted so badly to see what people were saying... now I regret it.

Nice job, Rob!

Stars for hitting those extreme horror marks.

[Khim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a short, gruesome, and filthy journey. You will think differently about scrambled eggs now.

[Trace · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this to traumatize yourself in 5 minutes or less.

[Cortney · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am back again, unfortunately, and today we are discussing an 8-page book that altered my brain chemistry in the worst possible way.

The book starts out completely normal, which honestly should have been my first red flag. A man likes scrambled eggs. That's it. That's the plot. He talks about eggs, cooking eggs, eating eggs. Fine. Great. Love that for him.

Then his sister comes to stay with him.

And this absolute menace has the audacity to eat his precious eggs.

Now, when I tell you this man loves eggs, I mean this man would probably marry an omelet if given the opportunity. His entire personality is eggs. His hopes? Eggs. His dreams? Eggs. His will to live? Eggs.

So naturally, after discovering that his sister ate what he THINKS is the last of his eggs, he decides the most logical course of action is to scramble HER eggs and eat those instead.

Sir.

SIR.

Not only does he decide to harvest his sister's eggs, but we then get a detailed explanation of the process. We have to cut her open, locate the eggs, and then USE AN ACTUAL EGG BEATER to achieve the perfect consistency.

I wish I were making this up.

The resulting scrambled eggs are apparently terrible because, shockingly, human ovum are not the same thing as chicken eggs. Who could have possibly predicted this outcome besides literally everyone?

But don't worry. It gets worse.

Because after eating them, he immediately throws up.

And then.

AND THEN.

He decides the problem wasn't the human eggs.

The problem was the seasoning.

So he cooks them AGAIN and adds chives, as if garnish is going to solve the fact that we are currently eating Susan's reproductive system.

At no point did anyone stop and think, "Maybe this is a bad idea."

0 stars.

No eggs were scrambled in the making of this review, but my sanity certainly was.

[Bookish Shann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short-Disgusting-Filthy-Gruesome-Disturbing-Fast-Read !🤢

I will NEVER look at scrambled eggs the same lmao.
Traumatized forever.

This would’ve been a good read when eggs were so expensive to buy tbh 😂😂

The “egg beater” 🫣😅

Read at YOUR OWN RISK😂

[Irvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Want some breakfast? Make some scrambled eggs but just make sure you leave two eggs for him for the morning. What a short and disgustingly good story!

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jesus Christ.......Ewwwww!!

I think I will skip breakfast for a couple months. Thanks for that Rob.

Happy Reading and Splatter On.....

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is it weird if I want to eat scrambled eggs right now?

[bookish.audrey_ · Rating 1 out of 5]

honestly, WHOLE JAW DROPPED, WAS ON THE FLOOR CUZ WTF WAS THIS… this was really gross 😭🤢

[evie · Rating 3 out of 5]

i love reading splatterpunk it’s fascinating to see what authors come up with

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

NASTYYYY
the most wild eight page book ive ever read

[Kristin Kerth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and sick 😂 one of my first few in the extreme horror /splatter punk genre. Will definitely make you uneasy in so many ways

[paige · Rating 4 out of 5]

MONGO IS APPALLED

[Ian · Rating 3 out of 5]

'Pink Omelettes!!'

A little fun piece of full-on grossness- but maybe could have done with a bit more seasoning.

Reminded me of the old joke:

Q: How d'you like your eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilised.

Will be reading more from Rob - with a mind like that it would be just rude not to.

Rating: 3.5 bright, shining morning stars - rounded down due to length - would have loved to have been treated to more 'breakfast'.

[Selena Flores · Rating 4 out of 5]

wow… super quick read… very disturbing… made my stomach turn a bit.. very good

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short and brutal.

Honestly, it was my fault I opened a bag of chips and ate them while reading it. 🤮

[Shawna Browning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took me three tries to finish this nastiness. New ick unlocked.

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was disgustingly eggtastic