Scrambled Eggs

by Rob Nelson

Nobody gets more upset about a lack of eggs than I do...

8 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 8, 2025

Reviews

[brittany:) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have no words😱🫣🤮

[Emmy Carrasco · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5 ⭐️

my jaw actually dropped. I’ll be abstaining from eggs for a few days

[The_5ft_reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

ewwww gross little read 🤮😂

[baraa]

it’s exactly what you think it is (yes I was procrastinating again)

[bookmarksandbarbells · Rating 5 out of 5]

This gave me a whole new level of the 'egg ick'.

[Alexa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just read this on a whim, and I haven't read extreme horror in a long time.

Was it good? No, but this will benefit my reading goal for the year.

[Emily | TheHauntedShelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rob, what the f*ck did I just read?!

[Chloe Hood · Rating 1 out of 5]

1⭐️ thoroughly surprised this has good reviews

[Erk · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I chuckled when a jet of vomit sprayed down through her nostrils. It was tinted red. Because pussy blood. nice.”

When you overreact to your siblings touching your shit….

8pages of fucked up, had to sit on what to say after that. Turns out there’s nothing you can say to this.

[Aiden Asport · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely disgusting. I wanted so badly to see what people were saying... now I regret it.

Nice job, Rob!

Stars for hitting those extreme horror marks.

[Trace · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this to traumatize yourself in 5 minutes or less.

[Irvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Want some breakfast? Make some scrambled eggs but just make sure you leave two eggs for him for the morning. What a short and disgustingly good story!

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jesus Christ.......Ewwwww!!

I think I will skip breakfast for a couple months. Thanks for that Rob.

Happy Reading and Splatter On.....

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is it weird if I want to eat scrambled eggs right now?

[bookish.audrey_ · Rating 1 out of 5]

honestly, WHOLE JAW DROPPED, WAS ON THE FLOOR CUZ WTF WAS THIS… this was really gross 😭🤢

[evie · Rating 3 out of 5]

i love reading splatterpunk it’s fascinating to see what authors come up with

[Khim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a short, gruesome, and filthy journey. You will think differently about scrambled eggs now.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

NASTYYYY
the most wild eight page book ive ever read

[Kristin Kerth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and sick 😂 one of my first few in the extreme horror /splatter punk genre. Will definitely make you uneasy in so many ways

[Ian · Rating 3 out of 5]

'Pink Omelettes!!'

A little fun piece of full-on grossness- but maybe could have done with a bit more seasoning.

Reminded me of the old joke:

Q: How d'you like your eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilised.

Will be reading more from Rob - with a mind like that it would be just rude not to.

Rating: 3.5 bright, shining morning stars - rounded down due to length - would have loved to have been treated to more 'breakfast'.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short and brutal.

Honestly, it was my fault I opened a bag of chips and ate them while reading it. 🤮

[Shawna Browning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took me three tries to finish this nastiness. New ick unlocked.

[Danyel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was disgustingly eggtastic

[BexHorror · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rob really packs a punch with his words doesn't he? 😅 Anyway, a quick little read that left MY stomach feeling a little scrambled afterwards 🤢

[McKenzie McCollin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Picture this: it’s 1 a.m., my fiancé and I are burritoed in bed under separate blankets like emotionally distant raccoons. I, in my infinite chaos, decide this is the PERFECT time to read him a “short bedtime story.” Important context: this man does NOT read splatterpunk and he has a deep, spiritual hatred for eggs. All eggs. Sunny side. Scrambled. Satan’s oval food.
Enter this absolute menace of a novella. Eight. Pages. That’s it. Eight pages of pure uncut “what the fuck did I just read.” Sister comes to visit her brother. Brother is meal-prepping like a responsible adult. Sister, this absolute goblin of a human, eats his last two eggs. Or so she thinks. Those eggs? Yeah. They’re the last thing she’ll ever eat.
The escalation is unholy. Blink-and-you-miss-it pacing. Zero chill. Straight from “oops I ate your eggs” to “guess I’ll die.” And honestly? I respect it. If someone touched my last gluten-free items I, too, might see red and choose violence.
This book is feral. It’s stupid. It’s grotesque. It’s hilarious. It’s an unhinged little egg-fueled fever dream and I loved every cursed second of it.
Moral of the story: don’t eat other people’s food. Especially eggs.
You vile motherfucker. 🥚

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is only 8 pages and it's 8 pages of WTF. I don't know if I should be laughing or running for the hills but I would like to know what is going on in Rob Nelson's mind!!! 5 stars for this absolutely batshit crazy read.

[Zane · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s something unsettling about a story that starts with something as ordinary as eggs and then quietly spirals into something far more chaotic. Scrambled Eggs takes a deceptively simple premise and twists it into a narrative that feels equal parts absurd, tense, and oddly relatable.
Rob Nelson leans into discomfort in a way that sneaks up on you. What begins as frustration slowly morphs into something heavier, more psychological, and at times even darkly humorous. It’s that balance that makes the book stand out you’re not just reading about a situation, you’re watching a mind unravel (or maybe sharpen?) under pressure.The audiobook experience, brought to life by Jason Rowe, adds another layer. His delivery captures the tone shifts perfectly subtle when it needs to be, intense when it matters most. It makes the story feel immediate, like you’re right there inside the chaos.
This isn’t your typical narrative. It’s weird. It’s sharp. It lingers longer than you expect.

[Ryan Reagles · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book, if you can call it that, is exactly what it promises: scrambled eggs. At only 8 pages, this was quick, simple, and gone before you can even find the salt. I blinked and it was over. Took me literally five minutes to read — which, honestly, is about how long it takes to make actual scrambled eggs.

Was it bad? No. Was it life-changing? Also no. It was a fun little bite-sized read, but I wanted more on my plate. Give me some toast. Some bacon. Something.

Three stars because I enjoyed it… but I’m still hungry.

⭐️⭐️⭐️ / 5

[Sukhdave Takhar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yeah... that was beyond what i was expecting. 10 out of 10 i dont recommend these eggs. First off bravo to jason rowe with another awesome narration! he made the words come off the pages and into my ears like a symphony at the opera. Second i want to say Rob Nelson who hurt you lol must been a sister but all joking aside. This was a dark little tale of why you dont mess with someone's eggs one to many times. Well i am going to go shower and cry in the corner.... and i am going tell everyone to give this a listen you wouldnt regret it

[SeveredTherapy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow...

Seeing this was 8 pages, I tried to come in without expectations. That, by far, is the way to do it. What I read was not quite on my list of expectations.

It was actually a lot better than I expected and a fun little story before lunch. Thankfully, I'm not having eggs.

4.5 out of 5 severed thumbs-up.