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But I Prayed for This: What to Do When Living in God's Yes Is Harder Than You Expected
Your prayer was answered. Now what?
The spouse you prayed for is here, but a sadness sets in that you can't explain. The job you prayed for came through, but now you are overworked and overwhelmed. The baby you prayed for has arrived, but you haven’t slept since. You wonder, Isn't an answer to prayer supposed to feel better than this?
Melissa Miller knows the feeling. She prayed for a job opportunity across the country and wanted to grow her family through adoption, but she didn't expect to wake up every morning disoriented and wondering if God picked the right person. She was tempted to push down her struggles because, after all, this is what she prayed for (and she didn’t want to seem ungrateful). Instead, she dove deep into Scripture, research, and therapy to learn how to keep showing up in a story that was different from what she'd imagined. In But I Prayed for This, Melissa helps you face the hard parts of "good" transitions as you
drop the guilt and recognize that mixed emotions are normal (and not forever),
grow in gratitude by reframing your thoughts and reclaiming your peace,
let go of the lie that you are stuck or that you prayed wrong, and
allow Jesus to shape your story and your heart in new ways.
But I Prayed for This provides a pathway to care for your soul, permission to be in process, and reassurance that God's love is big enough for both your gratitude and your grief.
The spouse you prayed for is here, but a sadness sets in that you can't explain. The job you prayed for came through, but now you are overworked and overwhelmed. The baby you prayed for has arrived, but you haven’t slept since. You wonder, Isn't an answer to prayer supposed to feel better than this?
Melissa Miller knows the feeling. She prayed for a job opportunity across the country and wanted to grow her family through adoption, but she didn't expect to wake up every morning disoriented and wondering if God picked the right person. She was tempted to push down her struggles because, after all, this is what she prayed for (and she didn’t want to seem ungrateful). Instead, she dove deep into Scripture, research, and therapy to learn how to keep showing up in a story that was different from what she'd imagined. In But I Prayed for This, Melissa helps you face the hard parts of "good" transitions as you
drop the guilt and recognize that mixed emotions are normal (and not forever),
grow in gratitude by reframing your thoughts and reclaiming your peace,
let go of the lie that you are stuck or that you prayed wrong, and
allow Jesus to shape your story and your heart in new ways.
But I Prayed for This provides a pathway to care for your soul, permission to be in process, and reassurance that God's love is big enough for both your gratitude and your grief.
240 pages, Paperback
Published August 18, 2026
About the author
Melissa Miller
3 books26 followersMelissa Miller is a family girl, writer, and Reboot Retreat facilitator living in Tennessee. She is the author of But I Prayed for This (Releasing August 2026 - Nelson Books) and a contributor to sites such as Mother.ly, Her View from Home, and the YouVersion Bible app. Melissa has five children and is an advocate for vulnerable children in foster care. Through her own life experiences, she has a heart to help kids from hard places find belonging. Melissa loves playing pickleball and thinks “just one more chapter” is a perfectly reasonable bedtime strategy. Through her writing and 2-day Reboot Retreat process, she loves helping people step out of survival mode, establish life-giving rhythms, and rediscover joy in their everyday lives.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
October 4, 2026
Have you ever been in a season that you prayed for, yet you found yourself feeling deeply unsettled? Maybe motherhood isn’t quite how you imagined it would be. Maybe you finally got your dream job, and while you know this is the Lord’s will, you feel anxious and overwhelmed. You begin to wonder, “if God answered my prayer with a ‘yes,’ shouldn’t I feel better than this? Am I just ungrateful?”
This book was such an encouragement to me. Melissa Miller shares her own experience with feeling like she shouldn’t be struggling so deeply while living in the very things she prayed for. I picked up this book because when learning a bit about Melissa’s story, I found myself relating so much to her struggles, even if our circumstances are different.
Melissa combines biblical truth with practical advice as she shares how we can approach the hard parts of our seasons of answered prayers. I hope it will encourage you as much as it did me!
Enter my Instagram giveaway for a chance to win a copy of this book! https://www.instagram.com/p/DeFEjyFxb...
This book was such an encouragement to me. Melissa Miller shares her own experience with feeling like she shouldn’t be struggling so deeply while living in the very things she prayed for. I picked up this book because when learning a bit about Melissa’s story, I found myself relating so much to her struggles, even if our circumstances are different.
Melissa combines biblical truth with practical advice as she shares how we can approach the hard parts of our seasons of answered prayers. I hope it will encourage you as much as it did me!
Enter my Instagram giveaway for a chance to win a copy of this book! https://www.instagram.com/p/DeFEjyFxb...
August 21, 2026
This book has a unique focus: what if you get what you prayed for, yet it is more than what you wanted, or maybe not what you wanted? It explores this topic with refreshing honesty. Though it takes a realistic look at the different nuances of answered prayers with unexpected results, it maintains a positive and encouraging view that will inspire readers. The portion that spoke to me most was the one with a sandcastle metaphor. The book nudged me to let go, not get drowned in nostalgia, and move forward with hope. I liked the practical lists toward the end of the book, as well as the author’s personal stories.
I received a preview copy from NetGalley.
I received a preview copy from NetGalley.
Review of advance copy received from Author
WOW! I think Melissa said all the things we are too scared to say out loud. Scared for fear that God will think we are ungrateful. Or that others who have been praying for our journey, or simply know the story, will think we're crazy... or ungrateful.
As I read this book, I found myself leaning in and thinking, Maybe I'm not crazy. And then, Maybe I'm not so alone after all. Maybe someone else actually understands.
I love how creative God is, but I'm often confused when the very things I've prayed for don't look anything like I imagined they would. Sometimes it takes a hot minute to adjust my perspective and recognize what He's doing. And honestly, sometimes you just have to stop and yell, "PLOT TWIST!" to keep your sanity.
Either way, I'm grateful to Melissa for putting these thoughts and feelings into words so we can have honest conversations about the things that challenge our hearts, stretch our faith, and reshape our expectations of what God's answers might look like.
If you've ever looked at your life and thought, "God... this isn't what I meant when I prayed for this," you'll probably find yourself somewhere in these pages. More than anything, this book reminds us that God isn't intimidated by our questions, our disappointment, or our wrestling. He meets us there with grace, and sometimes that's exactly where the deepest transformation begins.
As I read this book, I found myself leaning in and thinking, Maybe I'm not crazy. And then, Maybe I'm not so alone after all. Maybe someone else actually understands.
I love how creative God is, but I'm often confused when the very things I've prayed for don't look anything like I imagined they would. Sometimes it takes a hot minute to adjust my perspective and recognize what He's doing. And honestly, sometimes you just have to stop and yell, "PLOT TWIST!" to keep your sanity.
Either way, I'm grateful to Melissa for putting these thoughts and feelings into words so we can have honest conversations about the things that challenge our hearts, stretch our faith, and reshape our expectations of what God's answers might look like.
If you've ever looked at your life and thought, "God... this isn't what I meant when I prayed for this," you'll probably find yourself somewhere in these pages. More than anything, this book reminds us that God isn't intimidated by our questions, our disappointment, or our wrestling. He meets us there with grace, and sometimes that's exactly where the deepest transformation begins.
Review of advance copy received from Author
*Review of advanced copy received from Author*
This book is like having a dear friend sitting beside you, walking through the vulnerable, difficult-to-admit parts of life. It's jarring when you arrive at the long-awaited "yes" to prayer only to find your heart grumbling and uncertain.
While we may be tempted to launch into self-depreciation or doubt, Melissa comes alongside to explain the spiritual and psychological reasons our answered prayer might feel so tough to live in. An all too common reality of the Christian life is woven together with humor, honesty, relatablity, and a whole lot of heart in order to wisely counsel us through these unexpectedly challenging "yes" seasons.
"But I Prayed for This" is both readable and practical, and one that I'm sure will impact its audience in most helpful ways.
This book is like having a dear friend sitting beside you, walking through the vulnerable, difficult-to-admit parts of life. It's jarring when you arrive at the long-awaited "yes" to prayer only to find your heart grumbling and uncertain.
While we may be tempted to launch into self-depreciation or doubt, Melissa comes alongside to explain the spiritual and psychological reasons our answered prayer might feel so tough to live in. An all too common reality of the Christian life is woven together with humor, honesty, relatablity, and a whole lot of heart in order to wisely counsel us through these unexpectedly challenging "yes" seasons.
"But I Prayed for This" is both readable and practical, and one that I'm sure will impact its audience in most helpful ways.
September 28, 2026
What a powerful reminder of God’s plans for us. It’s very easy to have this exact struggle when things aren’t going as expected or planned. I read this slowly and took my time going through it. It was both a breath of fresh air and challenging. The truths and scripture were so great for me as I ask myself this question often. We can pray for things and then walk tough roads in the midst of that answered prayer or provision from God. What a great reminder in this book to continue to trust God through it all.
August 22, 2026
It was a good read.
September 14, 2026
I found But I Prayed for This by Melissa Miller to be incredibly helpful, and I cannot recommend it enough to other readers! There is so much valuable, practical information packed into these pages. The author wrote in a way that really connects with the readers! What stood out to me most were her gentle suggestions designed to remove the shame of struggling when you are living in an answered prayer that is harder than you expected. It is compassionate, real, and deeply encouraging. A must-read!
But I Prayed for This (What to Do When Living in God's Yes Is Harder Than You Expected) by Melissa Miller
Publisher: Nelson Books | Thomas Nelson
Genre: Christian | Religion & Spirituality | Self-Help
Published: August 18, 2026
But I Prayed for This (What to Do When Living in God's Yes Is Harder Than You Expected) by Melissa Miller
Publisher: Nelson Books | Thomas Nelson
Genre: Christian | Religion & Spirituality | Self-Help
Published: August 18, 2026
July 20, 2026
I just started reading this book, and I believe it arrived at the perfect time in my life. I love how everything is explained based on the season you're in, and how it remains Christ-centered. I can’t wait to dive in deeper, as it has been very helpful in navigating change and different seasons in my life.
September 12, 2026
What happens when you get exactly what you prayed for, but it doesn’t feel like you thought it would? Drawing from her own experience with major life transitions, Melissa Miller explores the complicated emotions that can come with answered prayers, offering permission to hold gratitude and grief together while letting Jesus meet you in the messy in-between.
I liked this one! Melissa Miller takes a research-meets-Scripture approach that reminded me a little of Jennie Allen, and I wrote down WAY more fascinating research nuggets than I normally do while reading.
The main idea did start to feel repetitive in places, and I think I would have connected with it even more with a clearer structure. I love when authors like Jess Connolly take a big topic, break it into really distinct pieces, and weave research, Scripture, and stories through each one. Here, some of the stories started to blend together for me, especially since many centered around similar “American dream” milestones—marriage, kids, career, and where you live.
Okay, Katie, this is starting to sound like a three-star review 😂 BUT NO. This is a quick, accessible read with so many genuinely interesting insights, and I walked away with plenty highlighted and written down. If you’ve ever accomplished the thing, gotten the answer to prayer, or reached the milestone and suddenly thought, “Wait…what now?”—you are absolutely the audience for this one.
Thank you @thomasnelson for the eARC!
Perfect for you if you like:
Psychology behind your emotions
Navigating “now what?”
Learning why “good” can still feel hard
Similar:
It’s Not Supposed to be this Way by Lysa TerKeurst
In Good Time by Jen Pollock Michel
Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen
I liked this one! Melissa Miller takes a research-meets-Scripture approach that reminded me a little of Jennie Allen, and I wrote down WAY more fascinating research nuggets than I normally do while reading.
The main idea did start to feel repetitive in places, and I think I would have connected with it even more with a clearer structure. I love when authors like Jess Connolly take a big topic, break it into really distinct pieces, and weave research, Scripture, and stories through each one. Here, some of the stories started to blend together for me, especially since many centered around similar “American dream” milestones—marriage, kids, career, and where you live.
Okay, Katie, this is starting to sound like a three-star review 😂 BUT NO. This is a quick, accessible read with so many genuinely interesting insights, and I walked away with plenty highlighted and written down. If you’ve ever accomplished the thing, gotten the answer to prayer, or reached the milestone and suddenly thought, “Wait…what now?”—you are absolutely the audience for this one.
Thank you @thomasnelson for the eARC!
Perfect for you if you like:
Psychology behind your emotions
Navigating “now what?”
Learning why “good” can still feel hard
Similar:
It’s Not Supposed to be this Way by Lysa TerKeurst
In Good Time by Jen Pollock Michel
Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen
August 19, 2026
But I Prayed for This gave language to something I don’t think we talk about enough as Christians: What happens after the prayer gets answered?
Sometimes we pray for something, receive it, and discover that carrying the blessing requires more of us than we expected. We’re grateful, but we’re also overwhelmed. We’re excited, but we’re struggling. And because we prayed for it, we can feel guilty admitting that it’s hard.
One of my biggest takeaways from this book is that the tension does not diminish the blessing. An answered prayer can still stretch you, require perseverance, expose areas that need healing, and deepen your dependence on God.
I especially appreciated how practical Melissa Miller made this conversation. Prayer isn’t presented as a way to bypass our humanity. There is still work after prayer: renewing our minds, tending to our emotions, examining our expectations, accepting support, practicing self-compassion, and being honest with God about where we really are.
The final chapters on self-compassion especially stayed with me. We can acknowledge our weaknesses, mistakes, and areas of growth without allowing them to erase our God-given identity or potential.
This was timely, honest, practical, and deeply encouraging. It’s definitely going on my recommended reading list for my sisters in Christ.
Healing is a journey, and the goal is to become better, not bulletproof.
I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I also purchased my own finished copy.
Sometimes we pray for something, receive it, and discover that carrying the blessing requires more of us than we expected. We’re grateful, but we’re also overwhelmed. We’re excited, but we’re struggling. And because we prayed for it, we can feel guilty admitting that it’s hard.
One of my biggest takeaways from this book is that the tension does not diminish the blessing. An answered prayer can still stretch you, require perseverance, expose areas that need healing, and deepen your dependence on God.
I especially appreciated how practical Melissa Miller made this conversation. Prayer isn’t presented as a way to bypass our humanity. There is still work after prayer: renewing our minds, tending to our emotions, examining our expectations, accepting support, practicing self-compassion, and being honest with God about where we really are.
The final chapters on self-compassion especially stayed with me. We can acknowledge our weaknesses, mistakes, and areas of growth without allowing them to erase our God-given identity or potential.
This was timely, honest, practical, and deeply encouraging. It’s definitely going on my recommended reading list for my sisters in Christ.
Healing is a journey, and the goal is to become better, not bulletproof.
I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I also purchased my own finished copy.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Melissa is incredibly encouraging in this book to come alongside the woman who is just not sure what to do with all the feelings. I have been there SO many times, and I appreciate her practical help and biblical truth.
She focuses on things like change fatigue, and life change units, and how we need to pause to process what we are going through and grieve what we have lost before blaming our disappointment on what is right in front of us. She is wise to help us look deeper, to become curious, and then to be self-compassionate.
I have made SO many notes and will refer back to this book for those gems of truth when I need them. Melissa is a wonderful human who is guiding us down the right path, and I am so grateful.
She focuses on things like change fatigue, and life change units, and how we need to pause to process what we are going through and grieve what we have lost before blaming our disappointment on what is right in front of us. She is wise to help us look deeper, to become curious, and then to be self-compassionate.
I have made SO many notes and will refer back to this book for those gems of truth when I need them. Melissa is a wonderful human who is guiding us down the right path, and I am so grateful.
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
Incredible! I recieved this book as a Goodreads Giveaway. First of all, I want to express my gratitude for not just one copy, but two! I was able to read this with my sister and reading something so...real, and being able tk have soneone to discuss it with was really a treasure. It felt like I was being spoken to directly. So many times I've battled with this exact same issue. As some one who has recently found their way back and given my life over to God I question daily His path for me, I wonder why instead of trusting in Him and this was loke reading everything i'm afraid to say outloud. I'll be recommending this book and sharing my copy all over. Thank you so so much!
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Melissa Miller shares openly and honestly about something many of us wouldn't dare to admit: sometimes we struggle with grief, doubt, and mixed emotions even after we've received God's blessings.
Whether you're in a season of blooming, building, bittersweet, or balancing, Miller's personal story, wise insights, and heartfelt encouragement will be a balm to your soul and help you identify ways to move forward with hope and confidence.
Read this to know you are not alone and to be assured of God's incredible grace!
Whether you're in a season of blooming, building, bittersweet, or balancing, Miller's personal story, wise insights, and heartfelt encouragement will be a balm to your soul and help you identify ways to move forward with hope and confidence.
Read this to know you are not alone and to be assured of God's incredible grace!
Review of advance copy received from Author
A beautiful and encouraging reminder that God’s answers to our prayers do not always come in the form we expect. Melissa does a wonderful job helping readers see God’s faithfulness even in unexpected circumstances.
One of the biggest takeaways for me was that sometimes we miss the blessing right in front of us because we’re expecting God to answer in a different way. This book left me encouraged to trust His wisdom, timing, and plans more deeply.
One of the biggest takeaways for me was that sometimes we miss the blessing right in front of us because we’re expecting God to answer in a different way. This book left me encouraged to trust His wisdom, timing, and plans more deeply.
Review of advance copy received from Author
5/5 STARS! This is a fantastic & relatable read. What happens when you get what you prayed for, but are feeling swamped & overwhelmed? How do you handle when life gets busy & chaotic & thoughts of not being up to the challenge start to pop up? This book answers all of that in the most realistic scenarios & is super helpful to anyone going through big life changes. The author came across as your friend & I enjoyed her personal stories sprinkled throughout too. Definitely a must read!
August 22, 2026
"Powerful Roadmap to Personal Peace and Freedom in God's Amazing Love and Grace"
Great reminder to trust the sovereignty of God's purpose and plans for our lives, especially through the way he answers our prayers in the season we walk through. I love the personal story telling and practical applications shared. I've shared it with two coaching clients as part of their growth and spiritual walk to new levels of clarity and freedom in their lives. Must read!
Great reminder to trust the sovereignty of God's purpose and plans for our lives, especially through the way he answers our prayers in the season we walk through. I love the personal story telling and practical applications shared. I've shared it with two coaching clients as part of their growth and spiritual walk to new levels of clarity and freedom in their lives. Must read!
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
*beautifully written and easy to read
*provides useful tools that are easy to follow and implement
*puts a lot of things in perspective that people tend to beat themselves up about (provides guidance to help you care for your mental health and spiritual health)
*included in the back of the book are targeted scriptures for many situations one may face
*highly recommend
*provides useful tools that are easy to follow and implement
*puts a lot of things in perspective that people tend to beat themselves up about (provides guidance to help you care for your mental health and spiritual health)
*included in the back of the book are targeted scriptures for many situations one may face
*highly recommend
Review of advance copy received from Author
An easy start but got harder as it went along. Helped some, but most of it was things I had not been through.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews