great premise but needs editing
This book had a great storyline but really awful execution. For the record, I love this author’s work. This time, it’s been a struggle. It is RIDDLED with bad editing, horrendous grammar, plot and timeline inconsistencies. You name the error, this book has it. It would have been better if she’d fed it into Chat GPT and asked it to edit the book. I cannot even explain how many run on sentences—WHOLE PARAGRAPHS that are merely broken up by commas. There are words just left off of sentences, so you have to infer their meaning. Charlotte McGinlay has published so many books, that I was really disappointed to see how careless the editing was. I can honestly say it’s like she didn’t even do a pass through read before actually publishing.
For the record, if she edits it and makes it more readable, it’s a book I would add stars to for my rating. But I just can’t, in good conscience, rate something higher that has such painful issues.
And just so you know, I don’t usually ding a book this much for something like this, but it is EVERYWHERE. EVERY page has multiple issues. She needs an editor for this book or to see if she posted the wrong one.
Not sure how she has such a high rating on this book. If she fixes these things (basically the whole book), and lets readers know on Goodreads, I’ll commit to changing my rating.
I thought it could help to provide some examples. These examples are how the entire book reads. It’s almost like she published the first draft instead of the edited version. If that’s the case, I hope that she sees this review and goes back to quickly publish the right one. Reading this cluster has been so distracting that it pulled me out of the story every other paragraph … no, that is not an exaggeration. (beware — there may be spoilers):
Missing words and awful grammar:
I growl, “It’s the alpha hole that made me fall in love with him’s fault! He didn’t me about his wife, or about his club. Then he was with me for one whole week when he decided I was ‘the one’.”
Combining two persons dialogue into the same sentence:
“You think she had the affair?” he asks, and I shrug with a sigh and mutter, “Who fucking knows?”
“I’m married,” I blurt, and Dad goes quiet for a moment before he demands softly, “Explain, Rose.”
Dad chuckles, “Sounds about right for a brother,” and I snap, “Dad!” and he clears his throat and says, “Sorry, sweetheart, continue.”
Run on sentences (there are SO MANY), but some examples include:
I scowl as my fucking wife storms inside, not caring that this room is off limits, the prospect – a person who needs to spend a year doing grunt work, proving their loyalty to the club before they get voted in as a brother – Joe, standing behind her holding his cheek, while I can hear my sister cackling.
I shake my head and state, “He isn’t just some guy, Sally, he,” I side eye Dr. Conners, whose grin is big and wide, and I sigh as I admit, “He’s my everything, my heart, and I also can’t leave my family for that long.”
He’s my heart, and it helps that my little sister loves him, though Mama and Dad are itching to meet him, something we keep putting off, more him, worried they won’t like him, which is ridiculous.
I laugh as his dad shakes his head and looks at me with a smile and kind blue eyes that are much like his son's. Though he has black hair, which he wears in a man bun, while his son has dark red hair, darker than mine.
There are timeline inconsistencies — like her sister being back home and she being in NY but she wonders if her sister changed her sheets???? In her apartment across the country???