But I Prayed for This: What to Do When Living in God's Yes Is Harder Than You Expected

by Melissa Miller

Your prayer was answered. Now what?

The spouse you prayed for is here, but a sadness sets in that you can't explain. The job you prayed for came through, but now you are overworked and overwhelmed. The baby you prayed for has arrived, but you haven’t slept since. You wonder, Isn't an answer to prayer supposed to feel better than this?

Melissa Miller knows the feeling. She prayed for a job opportunity across the country and wanted to grow her family through adoption, but she didn't expect to wake up every morning disoriented and wondering if God had picked the right person. She was tempted to push down her struggles because, after all, this is what she prayed for (and she didn’t want to seem ungrateful). Instead, she dove deep into Scripture, research, and therapy to learn how to keep showing up in a story that was different from what she'd imagined. In But I Prayed for This, Melissa helps you face the hard parts of "good" transitions as

Drop the guilt and recognize that mixed emotions are normal (and not forever)Grow in gratitude by reframing your thoughts and reclaiming your peaceLet go of the lie that you are stuck or that you prayed wrongAllow Jesus to shape your story and your heart in new ways 

But I Prayed for This provides a pathway to care for your soul, permission to be in process, and reassurance that God's love is big enough for both your gratitude and your grief.

Genres: Christian

240 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 18, 2026

About the author

Melissa Miller is a family girl, writer, and Reboot Retreat facilitator living in Tennessee. She is the author of But I Prayed for This (Releasing August 2026 - Nelson Books) and a contributor to sites such as Mother.ly, Her View from Home, and the YouVersion Bible app. Melissa has five children and is an advocate for vulnerable children in foster care. Through her own life experiences, she has a heart to help kids from hard places find belonging. Melissa loves playing pickleball and thinks “just one more chapter” is a perfectly reasonable bedtime strategy. Through her writing and 2-day Reboot Retreat process, she loves helping people step out of survival mode, establish life-giving rhythms, and rediscover joy in their everyday lives.

Reviews

[Mhughessc · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title of this book caught my eye, and I quickly requested an ARC from NetGalley! The title is, "But I Prayed for This: What to Do When Living in God's Yes Is Harder Than You Expected" and it was written by Melissa Miller. We've all had times where we've prayed earnestly for something and received exactly what we prayed for. But after awhile (or perhaps even immediately) you quickly become disenchanted or frustrated with the very thing/outcome/person you were praying for. Miller wrote this book for those who can sympathize with this feeling. She describes life as having four seasons in which we receive an answer to prayer. Those four seasons are as follows: a Season of Blooming, a Season of Building, a Bittersweet Season, and a Season of Balancing. She goes on to describe each of these seasons, along with Scripture passages to accompany each. She also describes how what we're feeling occurs chemically in our bodies as something referred to as a reward prediction error. Miller asserts that "when reality doesn't meet our expectations, it creates what neuroscientists call a reward prediction error. In other words: your brain expected a payoff and didn't get it. So not only do your dopamine levels drop; they fall from the heigh of your expectations. The higher and more specific the expectation, the harder the crash, Instead of a double dose of joy, you get a double dose of disillusionment."

I appreciate how Miller acknowledges the reality of our feelings, but also encourages us to do what she refers to as "putting emotion in motion through prayer." She gives a lot of practical advice throughout this book, and I found it to be very helpful. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

[Sarah Brashear · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever prayed and prayed for something, finally gotten exactly what you asked for…and then thought, wait, why is this so freaking hard?! 😂

That is basically the entire premise of this book, and I really appreciated it.

We tend to think that once God answers a prayer, especially with a “yes,” everything afterward is supposed to feel right and easy. But sometimes the thing you prayed for comes with stress, uncertainty, exhaustion, or challenges you absolutely did not anticipate. Getting what you wanted doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to love every part of living it.

And that message really resonated with me.

I loved the reminder that difficulty doesn’t automatically mean you made the wrong decision or that God isn’t in it. Sometimes you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be and it’s still hard.

There were definitely parts that hit harder than others, and a few places where it felt a little repetitive, which is really the only reason this wasn’t quite a 5-star read for me. But overall, it was encouraging, relatable, and gave me quite a bit to think about.

Especially after reading The Last Lecture and listening to Dream More, apparently I’ve accidentally spent the end of September on a full-blown “reevaluate your life” reading journey. 😂

Definitely worth the read, particularly if you’ve ever found yourself thinking, But I literally prayed for this…so why am I struggling with it?

[Brittany Hallett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was gifted the Advanced Readers Copy of “But I Prayed For This” and felt the need to IMMEDIATELY write a review once I finished. It was that good….

1st- I didn’t expect to LAUGH as much as I did! The snorts, giggles and genuine LOL moments… perfect
2nd- Is there going to be a workbook that will be coming with it? Please say yes (I’ll accept a “maybe”). Lol
3rd- THE QUOTES! Chefs kiss 🤌🏼 🩵 And the analogies and comparisons, spot on!
4th- This book came with receipts! The data and the documented information to back it up. It wasn’t just a “feel good” book, this was an informative, thoughtfully written guide to help you navigate through those hard seasons, walking you through intentional prayer and reflection. Then by backing it all up with perfectly picked examples and stories from the bible, it helped keep God as my foundation and my faith and love for him solid.💪🏼
~Now, back to page 1 with my highlighter, my pretty pens and post-its. Because I can’t possibly remember ALL of the important details, there’s SO MUCH!
This book now has a permanent place in my nightstand. Because, even though life seasons aren’t permanent, this way of praying and living needs to be. 🩵🩵🩵

[Leslie Funk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading this book and LOVED IT! I start so many books but don't seem to always finish them...but this one I just kept picking up. I highly recommend you grab this book.

Melissa Miller did such an amazing job putting words to what I've been walking in for the last couple of years after saying Yes to God's call to make our ministry our vocation and launching Three Cord Marriage.

She gives reality and practicality to all the emotions that have come with my walking in obedience to God's voice. One of my favorite words she uses is "brutiful" - that season in life when things are both beautiful and brutal at the same time. Yet our God walks with us in it, and He just wants us to lay it all at His feet.

And this is so applicable to life in general, our mixed emotions to events, especially good events in our lives and how to process them.

Melissa Miller, I know this book is going to bless so many people! Your practical applications really help to process all that goes on in our human-nes. I especially love your declarations for each of the 4 Seasons of life.

Thank you for this amazing gift to me with the advance copy and to the world!

[Stephanie Freeno · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly written! Reading this book is like hearing from a friend; a friend with real life experiences and life-giving advice. I was gifted this book. You should know that other than the Bible and related studies, my reading habits are all mysteries or comedies or comedy-mysteries. I like to sink into an escape with plot twists and gotchas, humor and sarcasm. This book gave me what those never do - a reason to not escape. This book reflects on real life, gratitude, hidden strengths, perceived weaknesses, and how to love our God-given emotions. A bonus for me is it's also sprinkled with humor and true lol moments. Melissa adds funny thoughts that live in my head, making this book all the more relatable.

I have countless sticky tabs saving my thoughts for another read and a deeper dive. This isn't just a book to read and put on a shelf. This is a book full of reminders that our hardships are God's workmanship in action.

Buy it! Read it! Share it! It's the book you didn't know you needed.

[Michelle Martino · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for the person who has received the thing they've prayed tirelessly for, but still feels unfulfilled or weary. Melissa is engaging and relatable in her writing, even from the introduction. She helps the reader navigate their expectations vs. what God allows, and acknowledges the grief that comes from this tension. For me personally, this book helped me see things I've felt and dealt with, and didn't fully give attention to before.

There is an excellent use of personal story, quotes from vetted ministry leaders, and a focus on Scripture in the author's teaching. I love the additional sections at the end. The author provides Scripture, declarations, and valuable resources for the different seasons of blessing (blooming, building, bittersweet, balancing). I'm grateful to add this book to my library!

I received an advanced copy from NetGalley in return for an honest review.

[Kelly Lindaas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book.
As a woman who has recently come back to God after over 10 years away the title of this book instantly caught my eye on Netgalley and I had to read it.
I really enjoyed her depiction of life having 4 seasons.

Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read this as an ARC!

[Sarah Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Validating. Every emotion I thought meant that something wrong with me was really just how I was processing. This book will help you understand where you are and how to go where you want to go.