Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

by Esther Perel

With a New Preface by the Author "The world’s best-known relationship expert.”- The New York Times “Makes fewer promises and raises thornier questions than any other how-to-improve -your-relationship book. . . which is exactly why you should read this one.” —ELLE A special twentieth-anniversary edition of the internationally bestselling and culturally groundbreaking book that cemented Esther Perel as the iconic relationship psychotherapist for today. In the twenty years since Mating in Captivity was published in 2006, it has become a global phenomenon, as has its author, Esther Perel. As a psychotherapist and thought leader, Perel is widely considered one of the world’s most original and respected voices on erotic intelligence. Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Mating in Captivity examines the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit for freedom and passion. It illuminates the complexities of sustaining desire in long-term relationships and shows how more playful, adventurous, and even poetic sex is possible. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is practical, Perel’s bold and provocative take on intimacy is ever more relevant today,

Why does great sex so often fade for couples who claim to love each other as much as ever? Why doesn’t good intimacy guarantee good sex?Can we want what we already have?Why does the transition to parenthood so often spell erotic disaster? In a new preface, Perel reveals the personal origin story behind the book and reflects upon the many cultural shifts since its publication. This twentieth-anniversary edition invites us to reconsider the timeless paradoxical union of domesticity and desire—and offers a guide to bringing lust home. “For twenty years, Mating in Captivity has stood as one of the most honest explorations of modern love… In a world obsessed with image and performance, Esther keeps bringing us back to the truth of what it means to connect, to want, and to be seen.”- Trevor Noah, comedian and author of New York Times bestseller Born a Crime “Esther embodies the exact qualities that make relationships strong – love, tenacity, honesty, and a ton of grace. Her embrace of our humanity – the beautiful and the disastrous – is why I turn to her work.” - Brené Brown, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Strong Ground

Audible Audio

Expected publication May 12, 2026

About the author

Esther Perel is recognized as one of the world’s most original and insightful voices on personal and professional relationships. She is the best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, translated into 25 languages. Fluent in nine of them, the Belgian native is a practicing psychotherapist, celebrated speaker and organizational consultant to Fortune 500 companies. The New York Times, in a cover story, named her the most important game changer on sexuality and relationships since Dr. Ruth. Her critically acclaimed viral TED talk reached nearly 5 million viewers in the first year.

Known for her keen cross-cultural pulse, Esther shifts the paradigm of our approach to modern relationships. She is regularly sought around the world for her expertise in erotic intelligence, couples and family identity as well as corporate relationships and team collaboration.

Her clients and platforms include companies such as Nike, Johnson & Johnson and Mopar, the Open Society Institute, Tony Robbins Productions, Summit Series, Founder’s Forum, PopTech, Young Presidents Organization, Entrepreneur Organization, and the Bronfman Foundation.

Her innovative models for building strong and lasting relationships have been widely featured in the media across 5 continents spanning The New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Le Monde, Ha’Aretz and The Guardian, The New Yorker, Fast Company, and Vogue. She is a frequent guest on radio and television shows including NPR’s Brian Lehrer Show, Oprah and The Today Show, Dr. Oz and The Colbert Report.

In addition to Esther’s 30-year therapy practice in New York City, she also serves on the faculty of The Family Studies Unit, Department of Psychiatry, New York University Medical Center and The International Trauma Studies Program at Columbia University.