My Person

by Téa Mutonji

"Téa Mutonji writes sharply about the subtle ruptures endemic to formative friendships." —Raven Leilani, bestselling author of Luster

"Sexy, infuriating, and unbelievably fun to read . . . This is a writer who can read someone to filth in just one line." —Katie Yee, author of Maggie; or, A Man and a Woman Walk Into a Bar

A bold debut from an exhilarating, multi-award-winning young writer, following two lifelong friends who suddenly find themselves in an emotional deadlock when one abruptly proposes to break up after years of subtle betrayals.

Best friends of over twenty years, Tania and Margot are preparing to host their monthly Sunday Loaf dinner party, when Tania tells Margot this isn’t working for her anymore—they’ve been entangled for too long, she wants to "unknow" her. But how do you extricate yourself from someone whose family owns the apartment you live in, who has taken you in as their own, even claims you as their "person”?

As Tania attempts to live her life loudly on the outskirts of Margot’s bubble, Margot’s past betrayals become increasingly clear. But she means well, doesn’t she? They had felt like sisters from the start. Or had Tania just been blind to Margot’s antics? Set in the framework of a tense will-they-won’t-they break-up, Tania and Margot’s once delicate dance escalates toward an astonishing finale that neither person sees coming.

A taut, piercing exploration of race and privilege, codependency, and the ways in which world-defining friendships can be both beautifully and excruciatingly life altering, My Person is an addicting, astutely observed novel from a major new talent.

Audible Audio

Expected publication August 11, 2026

About the author

Téa Mutonji is a Canadian author. She was born in the Democratic Republic of the Congo but came to Canada at a young age. She grew up in in Scarborough and Oshawa. She studied media studies and creative writing at the University of Toronto Scarborough.

Reviews

[SCSoftballMom · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not really sure how I feel about this novel...while I did finish it, I'm not really sure that Tania knows why she made the choices she did.

[Kelsey S · Rating 3 out of 5]

▹TL;DR Review: There were times I didn’t like this book and times that I found myself in awe of how much I enjoyed it. It made me uncomfortable in a way that I feel is necessary in order to grow and heal.

▹My ⭐ Rating: ★★★.5 out of 5
▹Format: 📱 eReader

Thank you to NetGalley and Putnam for an advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.

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○★○ What to Expect from This Book: ○★○

– About: Tania decides one day to “break up” with her childhood best friend Margot, whose life she’s been tied to in multiple ways. But she also can’t seem to let go. This causes a seismic shift in their friend group, involving Margot’s cousin, Eli, who has his own complicated friendship with Tania. What happens when someone who knows the depths of you also feels like someone you can’t stand anymore?
– Location: Toronto, ON, Canada
– POV: Single first-person (Tania’s POV)
– Spice: several open-door semi-explicit scenes (this is not a romance and is sometimes used as a coping mechanism)
– Tropes: friendship breakup, codependency, interracial friendships
– Triggers: infidelity, friendship breakup, abortion (off page but somewhat descriptive), strained parental relationships, racism, white privilege, unconscious bias, manipulation, depression
– Representation: BIPOC FMC who is an author, child of immigrants, LGBTQ+ main and side character

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↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺ 1:00 ──ㅇ────── 4:12

Now Playing: Persuasive by Doechii

╰┈➤ ❝Feel it's the season I should let go, and that's the reason I'ma buy more, Feel it's the season I should fly solo, I'm so sedated, and she so persuasive❞

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★○ If You Like the Following, You Might Like This Book ○★

➼ Messy, sometimes selfish main characters
➼ Vibes were a mix of Euphoria (if the characters were 10+ years older and only told from one perspective) and Grey’s Anatomy (if the characters were not doctors but just a mix of 20-something’s trying to figure out life and love)

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🎯 My Thoughts:


As someone who once read a book about grieving a friendship when my best friend got married, I was super interested in the synopsis of this book.

This was less about the actual loss of a friendship and more about the subtle intricacies of realizing when something that once fulfilled you no longer is serving a positive purpose. But it’s also mixed with very complicated characters who are, at times, unredeemable in their humanity.

The other focus was the darkness that comes with human connection. Manipulation, people pleasing, infidelity (and the lack of guilt), and keeping people in your life to make you feel better about yourself—but for all the wrong reasons.

Yet, I also found the emotions that come through as poetic as Mutonji’s writing style. Feeling lost due to environment, society, and circumstance—in Tania’s case: being a child of DRC immigrants, a Black woman criticized for her friendship allegiances to wealthy white people, and in dire need of an intervention because of her escapism into drugs, alcohol, and sex.

What threw me off the most was the repeated parallels to the relationship between Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang from Grey’s Anatomy. The foreword to the book credits this story as almost a fanfic of that fictional friendship, which I can see as inspiration throughout. But I almost wish it was less of a theme in the book itself.

It gave me a lot to think about for who was to blame in their friendship, Tania or Margot—when ultimately both were in the wrong and both were the product of their own environments and decisions. They were textbook codependent and that was a difficult thing to watch unravel.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book. In this book, Tania and Margot have been friends since elementary school. Tania has made the decision that she doesn't want to be friends with Margot any longer. This proves tricky because they live together and have an intertwined friend group. This book is a slow burn so some people may not enjoy it as there is nothing big that really happens, just a lot of smaller things. It was a frustrating read because Tania and Margot are not very good at communicating and it seems like a lot of the issues could have been handled had they just talked about the tough stuff. Tania can't seem to make a clean break, getting sucked back into Margot's orbit when Margot says she needs her or just out of habit. Tania goes on a self sabatoge tour which, as a reader was painful reading about her downfall, not being able to do anything. Watching a young woman who is lost and has no sense of self try and figure out the world in a complcated manner while making choices that are not good for her, with no one to be there for her was heartbreaking. I think this is a good book that brings in the complcations of race in regards to friendship, how situations are looked at and processed and the meaning of friendship. Codendency and white priviledge are also topics that are intertwined in this book . I enoyed it and it made me think about what would happen if I chose to end a lifelong friendship.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

While reading and trying to absorb this book, I wanted to know what was the message? Was it therapy? Or Tania, an emotional and terrifying woman with no discipline? A sexual mess too! Margot was an overthinking woman who really was Tania’s person. Their friends had all become embroiled in their friendship breakup to the point that it made Rita depressed, Bobbi confused and Eli ; gosh I don’t know.

Race came up an awful lot and to me it had no place in the book. Tania used race theory to question her friends. This was too much for me. Did Meredith ever do that? No questions asked she adopted Zola and so did I.

Tania was a neurotic in need of some ability and more therapy. I hope things get cleaned up in edits

[Terri Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This booked grabbed my attention because I, too, had "my person" for almost 15 years and I had to make the decision to let them go. I admit to feeling some type of way going into this. What did I want? For them to end up still friends? For both of them to go their separate ways? For them to be happily ever after but also suffer for the "sins" they have committed upon each other and their friends? Yes.

I was occasionally frustrated with the FMC, Tania, because of her dithering but I know from firsthand experience that it is HARD to let go when your lives are so intertwined. As you learn more and more about their friendship, it's easier to see why she wants to "unknow" Margot but, honestly, why Margot should just let go of Tania as well. It's the definition of a codependent relationship. The ending was anticlimactic but tied things up (mostly).
Other random thoughts~

-Tania's relationship with her mother is fraught and frustrating but somehow feels good by the time it's over. Mothers and daughters seldom travel an easy path.
-I wasn't necessarily satisfied with Tania's romantic relationships.
We "heard" a lot from Tania but we also didn't hear a lot that might have added more to the story (and maybe helped us choose sides if that's what we wanted).
-I simultaneously felt bad for the friend group but was also beyond frustrated with them. Talk about watching a disaster unfold with little or no intervention to help Tania or Margot.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Jen W · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Tea Mutonji's writing style. I have been best friends with my person for over 40 years so I was really interested in this story and why Tania would decide after all this time to "break-up" with Margot. This is about a 2.75 for me.

Tania has decided that she no longer wants to be friend with Margot, who is also her roommate. Margot is not the type to take this news well and tries to find ways to get them back on track. The situation between the two is causing major issues in the friend group.

I did not care for one single character in this book. It seems everyone of them is insanely self absorbed. Margot is very manipulative. Tania needs an intervention. You want to like Eli but he makes questionable choices. All in all, I just felt like Tania stood in the way of her own happiness and success. I do love that there is a reconnection with her parents.

I wasn't satisfied by the ending but I do see how some may be satisfied by it.

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Char Grell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley, Putman publishing and the author for the advanced reader copy of My Person.

The novel follows Tania and Margot, best friends for over twenty years. Their bond is deep, messy, and foundational—until one day, while preparing for their monthly “Sunday Loaf” dinner party, Tania abruptly tells Margot she wants to “unknow” her.

As someone that has ended a couple of 20+ year relationships with friends over the past year or two, this resonated with me deeply. I don't want to give away too much of the actual story but will say that breaking up with a friend (as Tania tries to do with Margot) causes a deep divide in their friend group and their families.

Sometimes we outgrow, move on and the relationship is no longer important enough to invest in.

I enjoyed that the story took place in Canada, I don't read enough books taking place in modern Canada!

Thank you again to NetGalley and Putnam for the ARC.